Reading: Olympian One Offs
by Engineer4Ever
Summary: The reading of how Naruto is the son of (INSERT OLYMPIAN HERE)! What crazy hijinks and other serious, funny, sad, and happy moments will the PJO cast read about with all these Naruto's coming out of the woodwork! Post BOO cast. Rated M for suggestive themes and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **Reading: Olympian One-Shots**

 **I: The Ramen Addicted Rationalist**

* * *

"So, we have a new one again?" Percy asked as a book appeared before the group.

"Looks like it," Annabeth said as she picked the new book up. The only thing on the cover was a golden omega framed around a familiar red spiral. "No real title, either."

"Aw, man...When are we gonna finish the one with Apoluto in it?!" Apollo groaned.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "I told you not to touch the book, but did you listen?"

"I'm the prophecy god! Looking ahead is what I do!" Apollo pouted.

Percy ignored the squabbling twins and frowned. "If it's anything like that crazy one-!"

"Excuse me, Peter?" Dionysus frowned.

"-I don't even wanna hear it." Percy continued, ignoring the god. Probably not his best decision, but that last one was _wrong_. ...Even if it did make Thalia sing. That was funny.

"Ramen Addicted Rationalist…yeah." Annabeth nodded while reading the title of the first page. "That's Naruto. I guess I'll take a crack at it."

"I wonder whose kid he is this time?" Hermes mused.

Apollo just huffed while Artemis sighed. "Not Apollo's."

"Quiet, please," Hestia said.

 **"** _ **For those just tuning in, it's ten in the morning on June 1st, 2006. And now we turn to our weatherman Sharon Storm. Sharon, please tell me it's going to be a beautiful day today?**_ **"**

 **"** _ **Sorry, Steve, but we've got thunderstorms not only expected later today, but for the rest of the week!**_ **"**

"That's around the time I got poisoned." Thalia frowned.

"Zeus was very weepy at the time." Poseidon pointed out.

"I was not!"

"The weather woman disagrees." Hades pointed out wittedly.

 **Click.**

 **"–** _ **You can't just say things like that, Bones.**_ **"**

 **Click.**

 **" –** _ **Wabbit season!**_ **"**

"Best gag ever." Hermes and Apollo snickered.

 **Click.**

 **" –** _ **I don't know, what's a motto with –**_ **"**

 **Click.**

 **The television screen went blank and the thumb that had been pressing down on the remote's channel button hovered while the owner watched the black screen. A blue line spread across the television and began to move when an obviously disguised voice came through the speakers along with "Stars and Stripes Forever" playing in the background.**

Everyone gave a salute to that.

 **"** _ **Citizens of these United States of America.**_ **" The couch creaked as the television viewer set the remote down next to him and leaned forward. "** _ **You have been lied to. Your government – the people you chose to lead and protect you, who you should trust without a shadow of a doubt – has been and continues to this very moment to lie to you.**_ **"**

"And?" Zeus asked, a bored look on his face.

"This is hardly new." Hera rolled her eyes.

 **Fingertips steepled together as glaucous eyes narrowed on the screen. "So...you chose to make a move today? Interesting."**

"Who is our undescribed protagonist?" Leo hummed in thought. "It just baffles the mind!"

Piper shook her head at his antics.

 **"** _ **Black operations continue to occur in several 'friendly' allied countries. Terrorist cells given leeway when bargaining with our intelligence agencies. United States citizens being spied upon, every call monitored, every credit card charge checked. Your president boldly lies to you about what he knows and is even kept out of the loop to ensure he doesn't prevent 'unconfirmed' acts of war.**_ **"**

"Boo! More war!" Ares shook his fist in the air.

 **"No duh." Scoffed the viewer. He sat back and grabbed a small cell phone riddled with scratches, bite marks and even a red stain on the back. As his thumb glided over the phone's keypad, he snorted. "I'm going to enjoy sending you to prison, Mr. Adam Mitchell."**

"…How does he know that?" Percy blinked.

"He's got ESP!" Frank gasped.

"ESPN?"

Everyone just looked at Percy, who shrugged. "What? It's a joke!"

He continued to get dubious looks.

 **"** _ **These are not acts of freedom. They are not acts promoting democracy. These are acts of terrorism, to keep the world under the United States' control. Well, I won't have any more of it. There are four bombs–**_ **"**

 **"–In New York City, yadda, yadda, yadda..." The television viewer sat back and held his phone to his ear.**

"What?!" Percy gaped, bombs?!

"…I like this guy." Ares grinned.

 **"You there? Good. Listen** _ **very**_ **carefully to what I have to say. There are** _ **no**_ **bombs. Yes, I'm sure. Send the police to a complex with a store at the base, a Pete's Pawn Shop, third floor, fifth room down the hall on the** _ **right**_ **. Room 305, the zero is gone; he'll be on the toilet with an Alienware laptop. Alienware. Yes, it's a thing. Just look for the idiot on the toilet."**

"Okay, how does he know that?" Thalia frowned.

"Please, most of the greatest ideas were thought up on the toilet." Leo passionately declared. Apollo, Hephaestus and Hermes nodded in agreement to his declaration. Athena, if one looked closely, had a light golden flush in her cheeks.

"Ew, gross." The hunter wrinkled her nose.

 **He hung up his phone and set it down next to him as he looked back at the television. "They better catch this idiot. I practically gift wrapped him for them."**

 **"** _ **If the US government does not pay me and reveal the requested retracted documents, then you, the people that are lied to, will suffer for it.**_ **"**

"Because it's clearly _their_ fault," Hades rolled his eyes. "We sure this terrorist is not Zeus?"

The lightning god snarled at him.

"The story's only started." Hestia sighed.

 **"Okay, that was pretty clever," the television viewer said with a smirk. He sat back and looked at his wrist, where a gray watch was strapped. "And in...Five minutes, I'll get to prove that I'm cleverer."**

 **The television screen went black once again and the viewer shook his head as a newscaster tried to recover from the sudden hijacking of his airtime. A hand went up to scratch the back of his short honey blond hair covered head. The television viewer got up at the sound of a beeping and walked over to his stove in his studio apartment. His hand went to the dial and he turned off the stove. He poured the contents of his pot into bowl and grinned as the steam rose up into his face.**

 **"Hello, noodles of Inari."**

"That's Naruto everybody." Hazel giggled.

 **There was a knock at the door and he turned to it with a grimace on his face. He looked back at his bowl and then to the door. With a frustrated growl, he moved his bowl into his microwave and then walked over to the door to open it.**

 **A man wearing a black suit stood on the other side of the door. His hair ended at his shoulders and was black like a raven's feathers. His face narrow and strong while his blood red eyes had a hardened warlike gaze in them.**

"Hey, it's Sasuke…looking Ares-like." Hermes pointed out with a blink.

"Yes! Ninja brat is mine!" Ares cackled.

Hermes hummed. "He doesn't look like a ninja."

"…Dammit!" Ares scowled. He never gets to have the ninja brats.

 **"You interrupted my noodle time, Sasuke."**

 **A dark brow on Sasuke's face arched up. "You're practically naked, Naruto."**

 **Naruto looked down past his defined abdominal muscles to his boxers and then looked back up at Sasuke. "...It's my apartment, there's no law against being naked in my own home is there** _ **Special**_ **Agent Uchiha?"**

"A Fed? I have a Fed for a kid…Hm." Ares rubbed his chin. "I could work with this."

"I'm just wondering how it even happened in the first place." Athena rolled her eyes.

 **"You love to take shots at me after I get promoted, don't you?" Sasuke snorted and walked into the apartment, brushing past Naruto as he did. He shoved blankets off of the couch and plopped down on it, his eyes on the news while Naruto went back to his microwave. "So, how'd you know where to find Soundwave? I don't have to book you again for being an accomplice, do I?"**

 **"That was** _ **one**_ **time...and it wasn't like the charges stuck." Naruto rolled his eyes as he stirred his ramen with orange chopsticks. Naruto captured a few noodles with his utensils and brought them up to his mouth to slurp them down. With a blissful sigh, Naruto walked over and sat down on the other end of the couch. "Alright, I know who he was, because the idiot pulled a similar stunt on his principal when he was in high school. He never changed his 'name' then, nor did he change his password after he graduated. I knew he'd be on the toilet because there are few people in the country who don't feel secure when they're on the john. I knew he'd use his laptop because I had an old acquaintance of mine from the NSA pull some records."**

"Well, he's super smart…I wonder whose kid he is?" Percy said sarcastically.

Annabeth beamed along with her mother as she continued to read.

 **Sasuke blinked and furrowed his brows. "How did you know** _ **who**_ **he was though?"**

 **"Stumbled across this plan on a private investigation a week ago. Wasn't supposed to happen until the Fourth, give it 'significance'." Naruto rolled his eyes and slurped down more ramen. "As though a bomb threat wouldn't make it memorable."**

"The bombs bursting in air," Apollo sang but Artemis stopped him with a look, "Okay, okay, yeesh!"

 **"Threats are easily forgotten."**

 **"Yeah, I know. Still, the kid wanted to 'inform the people'." Naruto scoffed and put more ramen in his mouth. "The people do have a right to know, but that doesn't mean they want to, let alone are ready to. There are some things that are still too dark for the public to learn."**

"Like gods?" Nico asked aloud.

"We do have the Mist for a reason, Nico." Hades told his son.

"Just saying is all."

 **"...You know, if I wasn't sure you knew the code to my life savings and the checking account for my fiancé's wedding, I'd have a warrant and I'd be looking into your so-called contacts." Sasuke noted as he looked around the small apartment. "Why do you still live here?"**

 **Naruto looked at him with noodles hanging out of his mouth. He slurped them up and shrugged. "It's comfortable, functional and affordable-."**

 **"Your father is a** _ **millionaire**_ **." Sasuke drawled with a pointed look.**

"Oh, Athena, rolling in the big bucks!" Aphrodite squealed.

"I go for brains, not wealth." Athena corrected sternly.

 **"You could be in the penthouse suite of the Baxter Building."**

 **"That's not a real building. Doesn't count." Naruto lifted his bowl up to his mouth and slurped down the broth, which made Sasuke cringe in disgust. He lowered the bowl and sighed happily. "Oh, Olympus that's so good...And just because Dad has money, doesn't mean I want to use it. That's his."**

 **"Still got daddy issues?"**

 **Naruto glared at the smirking boy. "You know, if I killed you right now, I could proclaim** _ **and**_ **make it look like it was in self-defense."**

"I can do that." Annabeth nodded, which earned her wary looks from her friends. Percy especially.

 **"Yeah, but you won't." Sasuke chuckled and dusted his pants off as the news came to an end. "I let you finish your ramen out of courtesy and our friendship. C'mon, I've got a job for you."**

 **Naruto grimaced and set his bowl on the table beside him. "A** _ **job**_ **? You make me sound like a mercenary. Call them cases, please."**

 **"You're good, but you're not that good." Sasuke walked over to the door. "Get dressed, you've got five minutes before I call a judge to get a warrant."**

"Just ask your granddad." Ares thumbed to Zeus.

"Don't." The sky lord frowned.

 **"...You'd do it anyway just for the hell of it." Naruto frowned. Sasuke stopped, turned around with a smirk on his face and reached into his jacket. He pulled a folded up piece of paper out and dropped it on the table beside the door. Naruto glared at him. "Don't just drop it there, it'll get lost in the mess! Misplacing a federal warrant is a federal crime, you know!"**

 **"That wouldn't happen if you found someone to be the next Mrs. Namikaze to tidy the place up." Sasuke shut the door behind him as he walked out.**

"Oh, why should the lady clean?" Thalia frowned deeply. Many girls nodded in agreement.

 **"Sexist bastard." Naruto snorted and kicked the trunk that was repurposed into a coffee table. The lid opened and the papers that were sprawled across it slid to the floor. As Naruto rummaged through his clothes hidden within the trunk, he recalled Sasuke's words and rolled his eyes. "I don't need to** _ **find**_ **anyone since you, Kushina and Dad keep trying to hook me up with random girls."**

"Kushina must be the stepmother." Athena hummed, she didn't know what to think of this development.

 **"How can you listen to this guy rant and rave about capitalism like it's been sent from the gods?" Naruto asked as he reached for the radio dial, to turn off the raving John O'Malley. Sasuke, without taking his eyes off the road, reached over and slapped his hand. Naruto recoiled with a grimace. "Ow! Ass."**

 **"Driver rights: I control the radio. Unwritten law of courtesy when being a passenger in another's car," Sasuke said.**

"Amen!" Apollo nodded. He threw a glare at Hermes.

"It was one time!"

"One time too many! Last time I bring you along as a wingman."

 **He spared a glance over at his friend and shook his head. "Those are the best clothes you could find?"**

 **"What's wrong with my clothes?" Naruto frowned. He was dressed comfortably in faded and possibly used jeans, brown leather sandals, and an orange shirt with a cooked pie slice pulled back and various math symbols pouring out of it.**

"Math." Percy hissed venomously.

"Okay, we've got to get you over this thing you have against math, Percy." Annabeth sighed.

"Ms. Dobbs ruined it for me, forever."

"Excuses!" Hades snorted. "Must've gotten some from his father."

Poseidon blinked. "Ow. I don't have excuses. I have reasons. Zeus uses excuses."

"True."

Zeus scowled at his brothers. "I hate you both."

 **Over his shirt was a brown leather jacket that fit to his build perfectly.**

 **"You look like a child that just rolled out of bed."**

 **Naruto looked at Sasuke like he'd grown a second head. "I'm twenty-two!"**

 **"I'm barely older than you are and I'm dressed professionally," Sasuke said. "When you're being leased out by the FBI–"**

 **"First of all, I'm not employed by the FBI, I work** _ **alongside**_ **the FBI, Special Agent Uchiha." Naruto corrected sternly. He drew his hand over his shirt. "Secondly, these are the clothes of a modern college student, which I am–!"**

 **"Online!" Sasuke glared at him. "You could get through any college class with ease, but you don't because you are without a doubt the laziest bastard I've ever met!"**

"A son of Athena? Lazy?" Poseidon gasped. "Say it isn't so!"

"Oh ha-ha." Athena glared at him for his mockery. Still, she silently agreed that her version of Naruto could dress a bit sharper.

 **Naruto pursed his lips for a moment and afterwards nodded as he conceded to that fact. He still crossed his arms and slumped down in his seat. "I don't see why you're so mad."**

 **Sasuke turned to him when they stopped at a red light. "You are purposely dragging your feet, Naruto. You know that the** _ **second**_ **you graduate from college, your name and your doctorate will wind you up as prime material to receive praise from your mother.**

"That's bad?" Annabeth frowned.

 **She'll send you the coin."**

"Oh, yeah, that's bad." The young blonde nodded in agreement.

Athena just looked put out by this.

 **"She's not going to send me 'the coin'," Naruto said with a roll of his eyes. "And the reason I've been 'dragging my feet' is because I'm waiting for today's technology to catch up with my father's work, so that my theoretical studies and equations can be made practical and I can actually do some good for the planet."**

"Captain Planet?" Thalia asked.

"He is a hero," Piper said with a smirk.

Leo chuckled. "Is he going to take pollution down to zero?"

"So not funny." Annabeth told her friends with a frown as they laughed.

 **"Yeah, sure..." Sasuke looked away as the light changed. They drove in silence for a moment before Naruto smirked and looked at Sasuke.**

 **"Kushina put you up to that, didn't she?"**

 **"...She blackmailed me. Threatened to help my fiancé pick a wedding date." Sasuke grumbled.**

"Truly, commitment is Ares' greatest fear." Hades rolled his eyes. "Next to jars."

"Those things are messed up." Ares declared sternly.

"I like pickles," Frank said. "Right out of the jar."

Ares glared at him. "…You are dead to me."

 **He tapped the phone set on the dash and it turned off. "Speaker was on."**

 **"Ah, you played a CD to hide the background noise on her end. Very clever, Special Agent Uchiha," Naruto said with a chuckle. He relaxed in his seat with a smile on his face and glanced out the window. He blinked when they passed a street sign that he hadn't gone past in several years. "Where** _ **exactly**_ **is this case?"**

 **Sasuke shifted slightly in his seat. "Just a bit outside the city."**

"He's not lying." Apollo nodded.

"Sneaky, how fun." Hermes snickered. "Didn't think Ares' could be sneaky."

 **Naruto swiveled back to glare at Sasuke. "Outside the city...where?"**

 **"Look, don't worry about it. Why don't you recline the seat and take a quick nap? Keep that freaky mind of yours nice and rested for the case, Sherlock." Sasuke gave his friend a small grin and turned back to the road. Naruto didn't blink. His glaucous eyes narrowed suspiciously and an intimidating glare was locked on his friend.**

"That's Athena's glare alright." Dionysus commented as he opened a new can of Diet Coke.

 **"Sasuke."**

 **Sasuke made the mistake of looking at his blond friend. He looked back at the road and had to slam on the breaks to keep from rear-ending the car in front of him. He glanced back at Naruto. "It's just a small job."**

 **"...I've got another case I'm already working on." Naruto sat back and looked at the road as the light turned green. "You can take me home."**

 **"That is bullshit and we both know it." Sasuke's red eyes gained a rare pleading gleam. "Just take a look at it."**

 **"I don't want anything to do with that place. They're outdated, foolish, and hormonal children.**

"He's of course talking about you lot." Dionysus sniffed. "And I agree with him wholeheartedly."

 **Not to mention the notion of heroism is completely irrational," Naruto scoffed. "Look at yourself. You dropped out of high school and enlisted to be a hero. Now you suffer from PTSD, which has caused you to delay your own wedding out of fear that your own wife-to-be would be put in danger or her heart would be crushed by your own demise."**

"Ouch, that sucks." Ares frowned, he was a bit upset for his own kid. How was he supposed to get legacies if his kid didn't procreate?

 **"That's not the point."**

 **"Not to mention their own stupidity when it comes to the words 'good' and 'evil'."**

"I think I found my second favorite!" Mr. D smiled widely. His favorite version would always be his Naruto.

 **"It's for Chiron, Naruto!" Sasuke cut his friend off with a frustrated yell. Naruto turned to look at him and Sasuke exhaled sharply as he relaxed his grip on the wheel. "He's calling in his one request. Something's happened."**

 **Naruto frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Tell me what you know."**

"He got fired." Percy frowned at Zeus.

The god glared back at him. It all worked out in the end, honestly. Why was Poseidon's brat on keeping that fire going? Wasn't that supposed to be the shtick of Hades' kids?

 **Naruto slammed the passenger door shut and walked up to the archway that hung over the dirt road that led into the strawberry fields. He looked across the hood of the car at Sasuke. "I hate you."**

 **"I'm a Federal agent. You hating me means I'm doing my job." Sasuke nodded towards the dirt road. "Get walkin', Owl-head."**

 **Naruto shook his head. "Cabin Five has the** _ **worst**_ **insults for people."**

"I know, Prissy right? So dumb." Percy mocked.

"So bad that it's good." Ares corrected with a smirk. " _Prissy_."

 **It was a shorter walk than he remembered, most likely due to his growth over the years. He remembered the first time his Dad and stepmother dropped him off. He was fourteen at the time and had just fought off his first monster, a Cyclops. It was a stupid thing, easily tricked to ripping out its own eye with its hand to prove that there was a large brain behind it.**

"…That's scary cunning," Reyna said. Tricking a cyclops to the point of killing itself? Words truly carried power.

 **Of course, his father had to tell him about his mother and Kushina started to look up various bodyguards, all of whom Naruto dispatched of with ease – though he was a bit short on his inheritance now due to the hospital bills his father made him pay. What? He was a master at short staff and was a much smarter fighter. He didn't need some ex-Jarhead to protect him.**

"Demigods can have bodyguards?" Leo gasped.

"I've seen it a few times in New Rome," Jason said. He shrugged. "Some of the families don't get along."

"Politics!" Reyna groaned.

 **"Oh shit."**

 **Sasuke's hushed exclamation made Naruto glance at him and then back at the object his friend's red eyes were locked on. Thalia's Pine, the source of the protective barrier around the area, stood tall at the top of Halfblood Hill...but it was not proud by a long shot.**

 **"Look at the rot on the bark." Naruto observed as he drew closer. He rushed ahead and began to inspect the pine. He crouched down to the base with an intrigued hum. Naruto pointed at the base and looked to Sasuke. "There, see that?"**

"I very much do." Demeter nodded, which got her odd looks from her family.

 **"What? The dirt?" Sasuke asked, disinterestedly. "C'mon, we have to meet Chiron."**

 **"Not yet. Open your eyes. Observe. Be the sniper you were trained to be,"**

"A sniper? Epic!" Ares grinned.

 **Naruto said. He pointed insistently at the base. "Do you see it?"**

 **Sasuke rolled his eyes and crouched down next to his friend. Red eyes scanned the grass and bark, but before he was about to dismiss the scene, he noticed something. "The roots aren't visible."**

 **"Exactly," Naruto said. He put his hand on the bark and easily chipped some away.**

"Hey!" Thalia frowned deeply. He pulled away some of her bark! Not cool.

 **"This pine is rotting, dying as it were, but like all living things, it's trying to prolong its life by sending its roots deeper to get more nutrients. This causes the tree's base to sink into the ground, but the rot is being noticed. Look here, nature's workers are already starting to make a home."**

"Fight on, Thalia!" Demeter cheered.

"I lived." The hunter drawled.

"I know, but still, your other is clearing fighting back. Good work!"

 **Sasuke watched a few ants scurry out of the hole in the tree and frowned. "What does this mean?"**

 **"That things are a lot worse than what you've told me. Frankly, I'm surprised I wasn't brought in the barrier was brought down. It's offensive, actually." Naruto pursed his lips.**

"And there's the hubris." Percy muttered. His words got a pout from Annabeth.

 **"Well, I didn't want to risk you saying no."**

 **The two young men looked up at the sound of the voice. A creature with the body of a white stallion walked up to them. From where his neck would be was a human torso, dressed smartly like a professor, but with a quiver and bow on his back. By the appearance of the man's face he could easily be mistaken for a middle-aged man. He had dark brown hair and a neatly trimmed beard.**

 **"Chiron," Sasuke said as he stood up.**

 **Chiron gave him a small smile. "Mr. Uchiha."**

 **"He goes by** _ **Special Agent**_ **Uchiha, actually," Naruto said. He stood and gave the centaur a look from the corner of his eyes before he looked back at the tree. "How long ago did the barrier fall?"**

"Right business, not even a hello?" Piper frowned.

"He's working." Annabeth protested.

"Still…"

 **"A week ago," Chiron said. "The year round campers have been holding their own well enough, but the gods are furious."**

 **"Yes, I'd think Zeus would be rather upset at the poisoning of his daughter's pine," Naruto said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.**

 **"Mr. Namikaze, cell phones are not allowed-"**

 **"I'm well over your limits of authority, Chiron," Naruto said with a small glare. He looked back at his phone and proceeded to take several pictures with it.**

"He just doesn't care about the monsters?" Jason asked.

"More like he can take care of them." Hazel pointed out if his first encounter with a monster was anything to go by.

 **He pocketed his phone and looked to Sasuke. "You should go talk to some of Demeter's children as well as Mr. D, find out what he's been doing about this."**

 **Sasuke grimaced. "Do I have to?"**

"I know, talking to him about anything other than a party is a snore." Apollo shook his head.

Dionysus huffed. "It's not my fault you don't have anything interesting to talk about."

 **"You're the G-Man, Sasuke," Naruto said. He put a hand on his chest and smirked. "I'm just a consultant."**

 **"I was told you were a private investigator," Chiron said, his brows furrowed.**

 **Naruto rolled his eyes. "A gross understatement. That would imply I dig through trash, stalk people, spy, and plant evidence."**

"He so does." Hermes snickered.

Athena glared at Hermes for the comment. "My child would not!"

 **Sasuke's eyes twinkled and he smirked. "You do all of those things."**

"You were saying?" Hermes asked.

Athena hardly looked ruffled. "Well...Perhaps it isn't for cases, but for his employers."

"Right...Apollo, verdict?"

Apollo blinked. "What? I don't know this Naruto. How am I supposed to know if he's telling the truth?"

 **"Don't you have a god to interrogate?"**

 **Sasuke's smirk fell and he glowered at the blond. "I hate you."**

 **"I'm a consultant, you hating me means I'm doing my job," Naruto said with a smirk. The two's eyes met, both locked in a silent battle of will for several minutes. Naruto's smirk widened slightly and Sasuke growled before he shoved past the blond.**

"It's like watching Annabeth and Clarisse." Percy blinked in slight awe. "Just, friendlier."

Annabeth wasn't sure how to process that, so she focused on reading.

 **Chiron chuckled as Sasuke grumbled under his breath while he walked towards the camp. The centaur turned to Naruto and gave him a small smile. "I cannot express how grateful I am that you came, Naruto. The Camp-"**

 **"I'm not here for the camp, Chiron." Naruto looked the centaur in the eyes, a frown on his face. "You're taking the fall for something that isn't your fault."**

 **"Lord Zeus' anger-"**

 **"Look, I know that'll appease the kiddies in their cabins, but being the noble dying teacher is not going to work. Without you, there is no reason for Camp Half-Blood to exist."**

"He's got a point." Apollo nodded along with the rest of the gods. Zeus shifted uncomfortably at that.

Why couldn't people just let things go?

 **Chiron looked ready to protest, but Naruto held his hand up. "Save it. You died once already for Prometheus. We can't afford you dying again."**

 **Chiron blinked and a smile spread across his face. "...That's certainly the most affectionate thing you've ever said to me."**

 **Naruto rolled his eyes and waved the centaur off. "Affection nothing. It's only logical to keep the best trainer around to ensure the survival of any future progenies of the gods. If anyone should recognize that, it's Zeus. Oath on the Styx be damned."**

"Really, why did we blame Chiron?" Hermes asked.

Zeus pointed to Dionysus.

"What?" The wine god asked with a look of offense. "I wasn't going to get more years stacked against me."

"So you blame the one who _actually_ runs it?" Athena mocked him.

Dionysus shrugged. "Better him then me. And I didn't hear him complaining."

 **"You should watch what you say," Chiron warned as they started to walk into camp. "The gods are-"**

 **"Fallible. Illogical. More human than they would like to admit."**

"We are not." Zeus frowned. The demigods coughed a few times at his comment, the gods looked at them as they offered innocent faces.

 **Naruto chuckled lightly as he slipped his hands into his jacket's pockets. "Hera gets** _ **jealous**_ **? Artemis** _ **hates**_ **men? Zeus becomes** _ **angry**_ **when his daughter is killed, implying he** _ **loved**_ **her? Ares** _ **enjoys**_ **slaughter and warfare?"**

"Emotions, you know, it's very human." Percy nodded.

The gods looked grumpy at this. They weren't human! They ruled humans! And human emotions!

 **"What are you saying, Naruto?" Chiron asked, intrigued and a bit unnerved. The sky seemed a bit darker than it was before.**

 **"Don't play dumb, Chiron. You suck at it." Naruto snorted. "The gods have become complacent with their status as hidden, they've assimilated into humanity, even if they try to keep themselves high and mighty, distant from us. Personally, I think it all started when Zeus ate Metis, he let paranoia – fear – overrule his judgment, which as King, should be infallible."**

Hermes whistled. "Shots fired!"

Zeus looked stony at this.

Percy nodded. "Guy's got guts, I'll give him that."

The other demigods silently agreed, but also made note that Naruto was making some good points.

 **"So you believe the gods of Olympus are...human?"**

 **"Why do you insist on having me repeat myself? Yes, the gods today are no better than humanity. In fact, I would daresay their reactivity has made them worse for the planet," Naruto said. The sky rumbled and he rolled his eyes. "From a logical standpoint, I'm not wrong. Zap me if you want, you won't make me change my mind."**

"Yes, Zeus, you can't scare everyone's opinion away."

"And you can't make everyone like you by sinking them to the bottom of the sea," the lighting god said to Poseidon.

"Boys, not now." Hestia frowned at them. This Naruto was making a lot of sense to her, and that was frightening.

 **"You certainly enjoy tempting him," Chiron said.**

 **Naruto reached into his shirt and pulled out a silver necklace of a multi-armed human. "Do you know what this is? This is a representation of an Asura, an anti-god. The Asuras became proud and vain, believing themselves above ancient law and were called evil for their acts.**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! What did they do?" Ares asked eagerly.

 **Their relatives, the Devas, took it upon themselves to keep the Asuras from influencing mankind through endless war."**

"Awesome!" Ares cheered.

Hera just cradled her face. Where did she go wrong?

 **"Very interesting, but why are you wearing a symbol of evil?" Chiron asked.**

 **"It's not evil." Naruto looked at the necklace before he tucked it back into his shirt. "The idea of 'good' and 'evil' are inventions of mankind, created to define what is helpful to survival and what is not. If the Asuras were never labeled as evil, perhaps humanity wouldn't have made it as long as they did. Or, perhaps the Asuras became too involved with the endless war and we never learned their true reason for seeking out information."**

 **"You still didn't tell me why you wear it," Chiron pointed out.**

 **Naruto shrugged and slipped his hands back into his pockets. "The Asuras weren't afraid to investigate what had been deemed holy and forbidden. Granted it was to increase their own power, but they stood together, seeking out answers whereas closed minded Devas remained within the bounds of the laws, afraid to explore."**

Athena hummed. She didn't see anything truly wrong with that really. They reminded her a bit of Prometheus, but other than that the Asura sounded similar to herself. She frowned, did that make her evil in the eyes of the followers?

 **"Ah...The Asura had a desire to expand their knowledge without fear of punishment...they were straightforward and honest with their desires. Basically, they were six-armed, immortal versions of you," Chiron deduced.**

 **Naruto smirked at the centaur. "Of course."**

 **Chiron shook his head and nodded towards a cabin off to the side. "Perhaps you should drop in and say hello?"**

 **"Pass." Naruto grimaced and walked briskly past the grey building with an owl above the door.**

"Oh, tension?" Hazel asked.

"Maybe." Annabeth frowned. She didn't like the sound of that.

 **"C'mon, I want to see Sasuke sweat while he tries to interrogate Mr. D."**

 **"You are a horrible person."**

 **"I'm part human, what did you expect? Besides, I need to get back at him somehow."**

"Such a cruel kid you got Athena." Ares chuckled.

"Where do you think she gets it from?" Poseidon added.

Ares nodded. "Point."

Athena did her best to ignore them while her father scowled.

 **"And furthermore,** _ **Mr**_ **. Chi-cha, if I so much as** _ **hear**_ **you insinuate my sons had** _ **anything**_ **to do with the sudden increase in – Chiron! Finally, would you tell this blasted brat to get out of my face?" A portly man turned away from the annoyed Sasuke to face the centaur as he entered the big house.**

"I guess he isn't a fan of cops." Nico sniggered.

"Too many DUI's." Hermes winked at the boy as Dionysus purpled in the face.

 **His eyes landed on the blond that was looking around the living room. "You?"**

 **Naruto lifted his hand up in greeting with a hapless smile on his face. "Hello, Mr. D. Sasuke, did you get anything from him?"**

 **"I told him I was investigating on behalf of the FBI and he went all psycho-paranoid on me," Sasuke said with a glower. He walked over to Naruto and punched him in the shoulder. "That was for sending me to the wolves–"**

 **"Do I look like Artemis to you, Sanjay?"**

 **"You dick." Sasuke finished despite Mr. D's interruption.**

Percy agreed, you just had to ignore the god. He tried to do that every time.

 **Naruto just continued to smile while he rubbed his arm. "This is why you run cases by me before you put me in your car."**

 **"I had a warrant for you to come with me!"**

 **"Written and authorized by your mother," Naruto said as he reached into his back pocket and unfolded the paper. He hummed as he pretended to look at it closely. "She also wants me to convince you to pick a date for your wedding."**

 **Sasuke's nostrils flared and he snatched the paper out of Naruto's hands. His red eyes scanned the words before his cheeks began to match his eyes. He crumpled the warrant in his hand and stormed out, grumbling under his breath as he did.**

Athena let out a pleased sigh. It was always nice to see her children put Ares' in their place.

 **Naruto watched him leave before he turned back to the two heads of the camp with a wide smile on his face. "I love doing that."**

 **"Hm, not bad. You seem to have gotten more tolerable," Mr. D said as he made a can of Diet Coke appear out of thin air.**

"Like I said, I'm warming up to the boy." Mr. D smirked.

 **"Why are you back?"**

 **Naruto glanced at Chiron and then looked back at Mr. D. "It's a favor."**

 **"Hm...Shrewd, Chiron. Very shrewd," Mr. D said with a smirk. He plopped down in a chair and relaxed. "So, are you going to try and beg me to let Chiron stay? You'd be the...fourth returnee to do so. I had the other three scampering off to the woods after I turned them into sniveling weasels. Had to change them back, though...I wonder how Athena will react to you being a new barn owl."**

"I would be very displeased." Athena glared at the god of wine.

"Oh well, worth a shot." Dionysus shrugged.

 **"Mr. D!" Chiron gave the god a disappointing frown.**

 **Mr. D rolled his eyes and held up two fingers. "You have two minutes."**

"You enjoy this far too much." Apollo muttered.

Dionysus grinned. "I truly do."

 **Naruto looked at Chiron, who shrugged, and then looked back to Mr. D, his hands folded. "Very well, I'll be blunt then. The poisoning wasn't Chiron's fault."**

 **Mr. D arched a brow. "That was quick. And how are you so sure?"**

 **"Chiron was most likely within the Big House or the barrier when it went down," Naruto said. "The barrier source was pierced by celestial metal, a bronze blade to be precise. Easily obtainable here...or at any grown demigod's home. The poisoner never went into the camp, they didn't have to. He or she was familiar with the source of the defensive barrier."**

Percy and Annabeth frowned at this and remembered Silena. It just wasn't fair that she died, but at least she was with Beckendorf now.

 **"Monsters are too dumb to sniff around, Mr. D wards them off," Chiron said, his arms crossed. "So how would they know the security?"**

 **"You say that like humans can't be monsters as well," Naruto pointed out.**

"Spot on," Athena nodded as Aphrodite frowned at this.

"My baby was not a monster!"

"She let a man twist her for his needs." Artemis countered, earning a hurt and hateful look from Aphrodite.

 **"Score one for the brain baby," Mr. D said with a smirk. He took a sip of his Diet Coke.**

 **"Thank you." Naruto nodded to the god and then crossed his arms. "I believe our poisoner had an informant."**

 **"A traitor? Hm, perhaps I can persuade their parent to let me punish them," Dionysus said with a smirk.**

"Uh, no." Aphrodite glared at Dionysus.

Dionysus sighed. "I never to get to do anything fun."

 **"What if it was Castor or Pollux?" Naruto asked. He didn't flinch as Mr. D glared at him, but he did shrug. "It's possible. Being with daddy for every day of the year while he spouts hate at demigods, causing confusion when he shows them love."**

Dionysus frowned. "I take it back, I don't like him."

 **"I don't like your insinuations, Mr. Name Kanji," Mr. D said with a warning tone.**

 **"I'm just giving a plausible motive, Mr. D, I wasn't stating the facts." Naruto placated. "I'm sure the twins haven't done anything more than simple breaking and entering while on their vacations to visit their maternal grandmother."**

"How does he know that?" Leo asked.

"He knows many things." Frank told him.

"He even knows how many squares of toilet paper you use," Piper added with a smirk.

"That's scary." Leo frowned. "And weird."

 **"...Are you stalking my sons?" Mr. D's face started to turn purple.**

 **"The point, Mr. D, is that any camper of** _ **all**_ **cabins is a suspect." Naruto elaborated. That seemed to calm the god as his face returned to normal. "Now, Sasuke told me there was an incident last summer?"**

 **Mr. D huffed and looked at Chiron. "Was there?"**

Percy rolled his eyes. That was typical Mr. D for you.

 **"Yes, Mr. D." Chiron sighed. "Before he left, Percy Jackson –"**

 **"Son of Poseidon, aged twelve, son of Sally Jackson, a woman who works at Sweet on America and attends nightly college classes. Recently, she came into some money when a likeness of her missing husband Gabe Ugliano was sold. She's notably well-known and liked by her co-workers and loves her son." Naruto interrupted.**

"…I feel uncomfortable now." Percy admitted.

"Same." Poseidon frowned.

 **The two older men stared at him and Naruto shrugged. "Missing persons case, I was intrigued. I might have lost some very sensitive information on the case though. After all, who cares about what happens to a gambling addict that drinks cheap alcohol and abuses his wife?"**

Percy and Poseidon gained stormy looks at the reminder.

Annabeth sighed as she read between the lines. "He figured out what happened to Gabe, but let your mom get away with it."

Percy's stormy look brightened. "I like this Naruto."

"Two in one century, Athena is on a roll." Poseidon agreed.

 **"...Well, despite your rude assumption about my sons, I think I'm starting to like you," Mr. D said with a wry smirk. He sat back and looked at his can of Diet Coke. "I'm sure Poseidon will be very grateful that Ms. Jackson won't be bothered by this Gabe fellow anymore. Aphrodite says he still loves the woman."**

"Honestly Poseidon." Hera shook her head as the sea god looked flustered.

 **Naruto gave Chiron an "I told you so" look.**

 **Chiron ignored the look and continued. "Yes, well, Percy Jackson was attacked and poisoned by one of the former counselors."**

 **"Former counselor? What cabin?" Naruto asked.**

 **"Lincoln Cat Scan," Mr. D said with a nod.**

"They scanned Lincoln's brain?" Apollo looked interested at this.

Hermes laughed dryly. "Funny, dude."

"Yeah, I'm awesome." Apollo agreed as he missed the sarcasm.

 **"Luke Castellan." Chiron corrected with a shake of his head.**

 **"That's what I said."**

 **Naruto rubbed his chin and began to pace. "Really? ...Interesting. He's gone, then?"**

 **"Yes, Percy was poisoned by a pit scorpion and decided–"**

 **"No, no, I don't care about him." Naruto waved off the centaur. "Luke Castellan...I knew something was wrong with him after his quest. I** _ **knew**_ **. I should've jumped on it then. Perhaps then I wouldn't have gotten that letter."**

"So, he was sending out party invites?" Leo cocked his head.

"Yeah, for the worse cruise ever." Percy nodded.

"The Titanic was the worst cruise, Percy." Poseidon corrected.

"Luke's boat blew up." Percy muttered, that was worse than hitting an iceberg.

 **"Letter?" Chiron asked.**

 **Naruto looked up. "You mean, you haven't heard?"**

 **Chiron frowned. "Heard what?"**

 **"Spit it out so I can shoo you away!" Mr. D demanded.**

 **Naruto hummed and went to the wall of the Big House and stared at a picture of a blond boy, a blonde girl, and a satyr seated next to the poisoned tree. "Someone is recruiting demigods for an army." He looked at Chiron and Mr. D before he turned back to the picture, focusing on the smiling boy. "And I think I know who it is."**

"Well, don't leave us in suspense," Thalia said grumpily.

 **"This makes no sense at all," Chiron said as he followed Naruto out of the Big House. "I mean, I know Luke Castellan. He was happy! He loved camp!"**

"Uh, Herm's kids are good at lying." Apollo pointed out.

"Dude," Hermes glared at his brother.

"Just saying the truth!"

 **"He's a son of Hermes, lying is in the blood,"**

"See? Smart Naruto agrees with me."

Hermes slumped at that.

 **Naruto said as he made his way towards the cabin of the god in question. "Are you telling me you didn't believe Percy Jackson?"**

 **Chiron looked slightly ashamed. "Well...I hoped it to be a practical joke gone wrong. You know how some children of Hermes get."**

"I'm pretty sure I said what Luke told me." Percy frowned.

"Chiron just wishes it was all a lie, Percy. Can you blame him?" Thalia asked.

Percy sighed. "I guess I can't."

 **"Point taken. However, you let your fondness of the 'experienced' demigod cloud your judgment. What is it with Greek judgment being so easily misled?"**

"Zeus? Any thoughts?" Hades asked in a mock serious tone.

"To the Pit with you, Hades."

"I'm already its neighbor." The underworld king shrugged.

 **Naruto asked with a frown, pursing his lips and wondering if he'd made similar mistakes.**

 **"Please, Naruto, watch your words," Chiron said with a sigh. He looked at his watch. "I have to go, I have an archery class to teach."**

 **Naruto stopped and looked at the centaur. "Chiron, I'm not blaming you for this. You shouldn't either. Luke was very charismatic when I knew him, I can only assume that it grew along with him. He talked me into helping him cheat on one of your history tests once."**

"Slick." Hermes whistled with praise as Athena frowned.

 **"...I always wondered why he got that A plus..." Chiron frowned. He sighed and shook his head. "Well, if I wasn't going to be fired before, I certainly am now. Only this time, Poseidon will be backing his brother's decision."**

"I wouldn't do that." Poseidon frowned.

 **Naruto frowned. "You're afraid of losing this job? Speak up for yourself, Zeus will listen to you if you explain yourself."**

"Oh, we've tried, but it never really works out." Apollo grimaced.

"You needed to be punished," Zeus huffed.

Hera gained a sour look at that.

 **"And let his wrath fall on these campers? On a boy that is misguided? No, Naruto...I won't let that happen. Even if I am afraid of the outcome." Chiron said firmly.**

"That's Chiron, worrying more for the brats." Dionysus sighed and sipped his soda. "Such a waste."

 **"Fear is a necessary evil Pandora released on Man. It is said that the gods released it to curse mankind, to punish them." Naruto turned and resumed his trek towards Hermes' Cabin. "I believe it was done to ensure they survived, by any means necessary."**

"Fear makes us human, it lets us live." Nico nodded.

Jason grinned. "This coming from Mr. Spooky himself."

"I'll haunt you, Grace. I swear." Nico glared at the son of Jupiter, but there was no heat behind it.

 **"...Thank you for your words of support, Mr. Namikaze." Chiron nodded and turned to go to his lesson.**

 **Naruto looked up at the cabin. It hadn't change since his last time at camp, which didn't bode well for the occupants within. He was annoyed by the sounds of chatter that he could hear from outside and sighed. Naruto knocked on the cabin door. "Counselor, I'm here on request from Chiron. Open up."**

 **The chatter got louder, which made Naruto shift slightly in annoyance. He looked up, counted down from ten, and then knocked on the door. "I'm only going to ask one more time, please open the door!"**

"Hermes cabin." The Camp Half-Blood campers (Nico and Thalia included) said.

Hermes palmed his face. "Oh this is going to suck."

"Big time." Ares snickered. He leaned forward. "I can't wait."

 **The noise amazingly got louder and Naruto looked up at the sky. "Hermes, I hope you realize that while I do condone lying, I don't condone poisoning. So..." He kicked the cabin door open and all noise stopped. Kids, a good few mischievously grinning at him, looked from all bunks. Naruto arched a brow. "Oh, it's all fun and games until you're obstructing justice. I'm with the FBI."**

 **"Yeah right," one kid said with a disbelieving snort, turning back to his card game. "Hit me."**

"They are so going to get owned." Percy snickered. He loved Cabin Eleven, but they could be a bit much with their pranks.

 **"He's not lying!" Naruto looked over at Sasuke as he walked up the cabin steps. Sasuke gave Naruto a frown. "What have I said about kicking down doors?"**

 **"It's fun and to let you do it?" Naruto returned. Sasuke continued to frown and Naruto rolled his eyes before he pointed into the cabin. "Show them the badge."**

 **Sasuke reached into his jacket and pulled out his badge, letting it fall open. That made all the grins fall.**

"Oh no, not Juvie again!"

"That's not funny." Hermes frowned at the laughing Leo.

 **Two identical teenage boys' eyes widened considerably and they rushed the door. Naruto and Sasuke stopped them by holding their arms out, making them grunt and fall to the ground. Naruto and Sasuke kept them pinned with their feet on the boys' chests.**

"Now _that's_ teamwork." Jason whistled in praise. "They moved wordlessly and in practiced sync."

"Very effective." Reyna nodded.

"Almost Super Effective?" Leo asked.

"No." Reyna told him.

Leo frowned. "…At least play along…"

 **"We didn't do it!" One of the boys cried out.**

 **"It was just one radio!" The other exclaimed.**

 **"Maybe some CDs!"**

 **"It was only a few hundred dollars!"**

 **"Conner was the one who came up with the idea!"**

 **"Travis was the one who picked the lock!"**

Hermes just cradled his face in embarrassment. "Oh, they're idiots."

"Yep." Ares grinned.

"You're not one to talk." Hermes muttered.

 **"What the hell are you two talking about?" Sasuke asked.**

 **The two teenagers looked at each other and then back at the older men. The one that first spoke gave Naruto and Sasuke a suspicious look. "You're not here about the apartment break in on Twenty-Fourth Street?"**

 **Naruto looked at Sasuke. "I told you that was a two man job."**

"Oh Us, kill me," Hermes said in pure shame. His kids were supposed to be slick!

"Wow, didn't know they could cave so quickly." Piper said in surprise.

 **"Shut up, Naruto." Sasuke rolled his eyes. He looked at the two. "So, who are you supposed to be?"**

 **The one with a loose mouth was shut up by the other's hand. "We know our rights! We don't have to talk to you if we don't want to or without a lawyer."**

 **"We're not here to arrest anyone," Naruto said. Sasuke frowned at him and he shrugged. "Honor amongst thieves, it's only logical to let them know that we're here for information only."**

 **"Information?" That made the one teen covering the other's mouth asked. "What do we get out of it?"**

 **"How about not getting arrested for admitting to breaking and entering, theft, and assaulting a federal agent?" Sasuke asked.**

 **"We didn't admit to anything!"**

"…Wow Herm, just…wow." Apollo laughed.

"Shut up." Hermes said bitterly.

 **"You alluded to breaking into the apartment." Naruto pointed out. He looked at the other kids, who were watching the scene with interest and then back down at the two. "And you admitted to stealing one radio, several CDs, money...who knows what else?"**

 **"What about assaulting a federal agent?" the boy asked with a frown.**

 **Sasuke looked to Naruto as he held his arm and rolled his shoulder. "I don't know, Naruto, do you think it was dislocated?"**

Hermes pointed at the image accusingly. "That is abuse of the law!"

"I see nothing wrong with it." Zeus rumbled.

"So says the god of justice!" Ares grinned. "Suck it, Speed Stick."

Hermes was horrified that his father was taking _Ares_ side.

 **"Could've been, but I'm not a osteologist." Naruto shrugged. "Never found it interesting."**

 **Sasuke tilted his head. "I thought you liked** _ **Bones**_ **."**

"I love Bones." Annabeth gave a small gushing grin.

"Me too." Nico smiled.

They looked at each other. "Marathon? Heck yeah!"

"Oh great." Percy muttered to himself. He was so going to be sucked into watching that show. He shuddered. Those remains were so... _wrong_.

 **"The murders are interesting, the science of bone study is not. And besides..." Naruto shrugged again. "Emily Deschanel is hot."**

 **Sasuke nodded. "That's true."**

 **"...Okay, we'll talk...Can we get up now?"**

 **"Not yet. Names. Don't play with me either." Sasuke's red eyes glared into the boys' blue ones. "...Well?"**

 **"I'm Travis Stoll, and this is my brother Conner," Travis said as he pulled his hand off of Conner's mouth.**

 **"For the record, Travis ran into you."**

"Aw, selling each other out. Classic brotherly fun." Apollo smiled.

Ares glared at him. He was _still_ taking the blame for key scratching Zeus' chariot. Nike was psycho about that.

 **"Dude!"**

 **"What? I'm not taking the fall for you."**

 **"Oh, so glad to see how much I'm loved. My own brother, ladies and gentlemen!"**

 **"Boys?" Sasuke had them looking back up at him. "About that information?"**

 **"What do you want to know?" Conner asked. He looked at the sandal on his foot and looked up at Naruto. "Wow, pedicure much?"**

Ares busted a gut at that as Athena glared at him. "There is nothing wrong with well-groomed feet."

"Yeah, just girly is all." Ares snorted.

"Girls like a man who can groom nicely." Aphrodite smirked to her boyfriend. This made him stop laughing.

"I got Jason to do it," Piper said with a nod.

"Piper!" Jason hissed with a red face as his guy friends looked at him. Jason shifted before he admitted. "It was very nice."

"Oh gods, Jason." Thalia shook her head, unsure whether to laugh or cry.

 **"Good hygiene goes a long way." Naruto lifted his foot off of the boy and Sasuke did the same for his Stoll. "Tell us about Luke Castellan."**

 **"Why?" Travis asked, both boys still intimidated by the FBI agent.**

 **"We think he may have something to do with the barrier being down," Naruto said.**

 **"Hey, whoa, Luke's not be blood, but he's still a brother. You've got to up the ante a bit to make us talk," Conner said. He gasped as the foot slammed back down on his chest. Hard. A few kids made to get up, but Sasuke deterred them by opening his jacket and showing the uncapped nine millimeter strapped to his hip.**

"Might not be a sword, but still ...guns are scary." Ares smiled.

"Why don't we use guns?" Percy asked.

"Because minors with guns are apparently bad!" Ares threw his arms in the air. "Give a teen a sword, or spear or something lame like a bow and arrow and that's fine! But a gun? No!"

 **Conner gasped again when Naruto started to grind his heel into his chest. "Point taken! Please get off!"**

 **"I knew you'd see it my way," Naruto said as he lifted his foot off of Conner's chest once more. "When's the last time you saw Luke?"**

 **"Last summer?" Travis looked at Conner, who nodded in agreement. They looked back up at the older demigods. "Yeah, he's been off the radar since then. We got a letter, but it didn't mean anything. Just invited us to a yacht he...found."**

"The Princess Andromeda." Percy frowned at the nightmare cruise.

 **"Found? Right...Where was this yacht?" Sasuke asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a notebook and pen.**

 **"Uh, our letter said to go to the coast of South Carolina," Conner said. He and Travis got off the ground. "Anything else?"**

 **"Who was Luke particularly close to?" Naruto asked. "Anyone he spoke with a lot? Girlfriends? Boyfriends?"**

"That one would have made a little Annabeth cry." Aphrodite tittered as Annabeth flustered.

"I wouldn't have." Thalia frowned.

"Of course not." The love goddess rolled her eyes at the girl's denial. What a waste.

 **Travis and Conner curled their upper lips along with many other boys in the room. Even Sasuke gave Naruto an odd look. Naruto looked around and arched a brow.**

 **"What? The Greeks have been practicing same-gender intercourse well since time began. Apollo and Zephyrus are two well-known practitioners from the pantheon, so I don't see why it wouldn't be prudent to ask," Naruto said.**

"Amen." Nico nodded. Apollo gave a thumbs up in approval to this.

 **"...O...Kay...I stopped understanding after intercourse." Travis admitted. He gave Naruto an odd look before he looked at Sasuke. "I don't know about any girlfriends, but he talked to Annabeth Chase a lot, and I think Silena Beauregard had a crush on him."**

 **"What? Oh, man, not Silena," Conner groaned. "Figures, pretty boys get all the chicks."**

 **Sasuke smirked as he wrote down the names. "Yeah, yeah we do."**

Apollo snorted. "First pretty boy Ares ever had."

"He's got the more rough handsome types." Aphrodite nodded in agreement.

"Once in a blue moon." The war god shrugged.

 **"And a lot of guys." Naruto smirked at the glare Sasuke gave him. "What?"**

 **Travis and Conner took a step back from the special agent, who continued to glare at his consultant and friend.**

 **"...I hate you so much."**

 **Naruto shrugged. "Whatever." He looked at the twins. "So, what cabin?"**

 **"Annabeth's–"**

 **Naruto held a hand up. "I know that one. Where's Silena?"**

"Interrogation time." Artemis smiled.

"Oh, a steamy one?" Aphrodite thought out loud.

"Ugh, really?"

"They are hot scenes." The love goddess informed. "Plus, roll play is fun!"

"...Too much, Mom." Piper gagged.

 **"...How do you know Annabeth but not Silena?" Conner asked as he gave Naruto a look like he had just sprouted another head. "Seriously? When did you come here?"**

 **"Stopped coming to camp when I was sixteen."**

 **"...How old are you?"**

"Early twenties obviously." Athena rolled her eyes.

 **"Beauregard. Location. Give it." Sasuke grunted.**

 **"Cabin Ten. She's the counselor, can't miss her," Travis said.**

 **"Thank you." Naruto turned and stuffed his hands in his pockets, prepared to leave. After Sasuke stepped out, Naruto stopped and turned back to the twins. "Oh, and...you might want to get the door hinges fixed."**

 **Naruto grunted as he and Sasuke walked to the pink cabin across the way. "Stop it."**

 **"Stop what?" Sasuke asked.**

 **"Thinking. It's loud and annoying."**

"Yeah, we can see the steam coming out of ears." Percy grinned.

"Funny, the same happens to you." Annabeth pointed out teasingly as she turned the page.

Percy pouted. "Hurtful…"

 **"You're not concerned about speaking to her?" Sasuke asked.**

 **Naruto groaned. "I don't want to talk about it."**

"Seems there is some tension is in the air." Hazel hummed. The plot thickens!

 **"I met my cabin's new counselor. Clarisse. Tough girl, worked hard putting watch shifts together. Could be a good Ranger if she ever went into the service," Sasuke said. "It helps to get to know the next generation–"**

 **"My mother's head counselor is nearly half my age and has only obtained that right because of her so-called experience." Naruto interrupted with a grimace on his face. "She's smart, I will admit that, and she either got** _ **very**_ **lucky or divine intervention to bring her to her group.**

Athena frowned while Annabeth flushed as it was true.

 **She's also extremely proud. Her Fatal Flaw is undoubtedly hubris. She refuses to listen to reason, even when she knows it's the smartest thing to do, because of some sense of morality."**

"…Shots fired."

"Leo!" Annabeth glared a she continued to read in a grumpy mood. Stupid older brother...She could listen to advice when she was younger!

 **"Don't you have morals you live by?" Sasuke asked.**

 **"That's different. She is a child and refuses the advice of someone older, who has seen the world for what it is," Naruto said. He shook his head as they approached the cabin of Aphrodite's children. "Annabeth Chase may be smart when it comes to the world of Greek demigods, but she is an utter fool when it comes to the real world."**

"Slap to the face!" Ares laughed as Annabeth looked both embarrassed and angry.

"The young man makes a surprising amount of good sense." Hera nodded in agreement.

"Of course you would say that." Athena noted scathingly.

"It's not my fault your children are overly proud, Athena, to the point where they make mistakes."

The wisdom goddess glared at her step-mother for her words.

 **"Depends on your definition of the real world," Sasuke said.**

 **Naruto stopped them and turned to face Sasuke, a glare locked on the Federal agent. "It's not humanity that's hiding its existence."**

"…Wow, burn." Percy whistled as the gods looked angry at that one.

 **Sasuke nodded in understanding to that. "Yeah, but she's a kid. You can't fault her for taking things at face value."**

 **"No, but I can fault her for letting her get in the way of her own judgment," Naruto said. They resumed walking to the cabin, going up the steps. "If we go to her and tell her that her friend, an older attractive boy that has not really done anything to her, is a suspect in poisoning Thalia's Pine..."**

Annabeth was pink at how narrow minded Naruto was making her sound. She was not that bad!

 **"...I see your point," Sasuke said. He lifted his hand up and knocked gently on the door. "FBI! Open up!"**

 **The door was pulled open and a beautiful teenage girl with curled brown hair stepped into view, dressed in short jeans and a modified camp shirt to be a sleeveless tank-top. "Ugh, Marcus if you say Female Body Inspector, I'm going to kick your-oh!"**

 **Sasuke gave a small charming grin. "Hi there." He held up his badge. "FBI."**

 **"...Oh, wow, that's a real badge." She leaned against the door and smiled at Sasuke. "I'm Amber. Can I do anything to help you, Agent...?"**

"Girls love a man in uniform," Aphrodite whistled.

"She's so forward," Piper sighed.

 **Sasuke smiled back and lifted his left hand, revealing a gold band. "Engaged. I'm here on business, for Chiron."**

 **"Oh," Amber said with a blink. She sighed. "...Silena's at the stables if you want to talk to her. The others are out doing activities, I'm here because I have some summer homework that Chiron wants done."**

"…We have summer homework?!" Percy gasped.

"If you're a year rounder, yeah." Annabeth nodded.

"Horrible." Percy shuddered.

 **"Thanks," Sasuke turned and walked away. He noticed a lack of footsteps and stopped. Sasuke turned around to see Naruto still on the porch. "Are you coming, or what?"**

 **"You go ahead and get some answers. I think I'll stay here and get to know...Amber?" Naruto asked with a small smile. Amber twirled her hair around her finger and smiled back as she gave him a once over. Her smile widened slightly.**

"Mm, smart boys~"

"She best not." Athena glared at the love goddess.

Aphrodite's smile just widened.

 **Sasuke blinked in shock. "Are you serious? You're flirting** _ **now**_ **? After all the blind dates your stepmother and I've set up that you turned down?"**

 **Naruto tilted his head and looked up before he looked back at Sasuke. "Yep."**

 **"Unbelievable." Sasuke rubbed his head. "Don't you want to interrogate her?"**

 **"I'm sure you'll do fine. Probably much better without me." Naruto waved his friend off. Sasuke shook his head in disbelief and walked off, which made Naruto chuckle.**

 **Naruto turned back just as Amber adjusted her shirt collar to expose more of her cleavage slightly and her eyes flickered to Naruto's. A smile spread across her face. "Do you have a badge, too?"**

"Because I'm sure what she's doing would get her arrested." Piper frowned.

"Piper, sweetie, you are such a little prude. Live a little!" Aphrodite whined like a five year old.

"Maybe when I'm older." The Charmspeaker huffed.

Jason suddenly grew wary and excited all at once for time to pass.

 **"No. I'm just a consultant. Are you the only one in your cabin?" Naruto asked.**

 **Amber's grin grew. "Yeah. Why? Wanna do something illegal?"**

 **"Can I come in?"**

"Yes he can."

"Aphrodite!" Hestia frowned at the giggling goddess.

 **"Sure thing, cutie."**

 **"Good, I really didn't want to knock you out." Naruto walked in and brushed past the surprised girl as he entered the cabin. Naruto began to inspect the beds with a critical eye. "Besides, it's statutory rape if I slept with you. I'm twenty-two and you're what? Sixteen?"**

"See, early twenties." Athena smiled. Besides, her son was too good for a strumpet.

"Huzzah! Athena is right. Again," Poseidon rolled his eyes. "For the first time."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Can we please listen to the story?" Hestia asked. The rivals went quiet, but exchanged glares.

 **"I'm** _ **seventeen**_ **. What do you mean knock me out?" Amber asked with her hands on her hips.**

 **"Well, if you didn't give me permission to enter I'd have to first give a big apology to Aphrodite and then proceed to strike you in the throat, cutting your air flow and follow with a hard punch to the diaphragm in order to get in." Naruto hummed as he picked up a rather lacy pair of underwear between his fingers. "Seventeen, huh? Why aren't you counselor then?"**

"So, Piper-"

"Shut up, Annabeth. I don't wear those." Piper glared at the blonde with a red face. She wouldn't wear something like that! It was too embarrassing!

"Poor Jason." Aphrodite sighed.

"Mom!"

 **Amber stormed over to him and snatched the underwear from his grasp. "First of all, don't touch my underwear!"**

 **"...Okay, that image was admittedly very hot."**

Aphrodite purred. "Oh, so he likes the angry types?"

"Stop it. Now." Athena glared at the love goddess.

Aphrodite tittered. "Never."

 **"Secondly, Aphrodite chooses her children gifted with charmspeak to lead the cabin." Amber shoved her underwear in his face menacingly. "And finally, what was with all that stuff you said to the hot FBI guy?"**

Hazel blushed furiously. "…Why is she shoving it in his face?"

"I…don't know." Frank admitted.

"Perhaps it is a way to start a courtship?" Reyna jested with a smirk.

"No." Piper frowned.

 **"I didn't want him to get all 'legally ethical' on me while I searched for evidence that could implicate one of the people who reside in this cabin," Naruto said. While Amber continued to glare at him, Naruto blinked for a moment before he had an epiphany. "...Oh, you're wondering why I alluded to wanting to sleep with you and yet chose not to. Well, aside from the desire to** _ **not**_ **be labeled as a rapist, I'm more of a redhead kind of guy."**

"Well, at least he has a type." Annabeth muttered.

"Too bad for tree Thalia."

Thalia glared at Percy. "Shut up."

Jason shook his head. "I'm never going to be an uncle..."

"Jason!"

 **Amber blinked. "Oh...That's...reasonable. Wait, you're not attracted to me?"**

 **"Oh, I am. I'm just more into redheads." Naruto shrugged. Amber frowned and stormed past Naruto into the cabin's washroom. Naruto watched the door slam shut and he tilted his head. "What'd I say?"**

"All the wrong things," Piper shook her head. Or were they the right things in this case?

 **Naruto shook his head and walked around the cabin, searching bunks without any care for privacy. He pulled pictures of attractive men and women off of the wall. Minutes flew by as he flipped the cabin twice, tearing it down and then putting everything back the way was to see if he missed anything. The only room untouched was the washroom.**

"Wow, thorough." Leo whistled.

"He could beat Cohort inspection." Frank whistled.

 **"Hey, Amber, can I come in and look around?" Naruto asked as he knocked on the door. He furrowed his brow and knocked again. "Amber?"**

 **The door flew open and Naruto took a step back out of mild surprise. Amber smirked at him and leaned against the doorway. Her brown hair now a slightly wet and dark red.**

"Dyed red hair is sexy." Leo gave a low whistle.

"Calypso." Piper reminded him of his girlfriend.

Leo grinned and nodded. "Yeah, she'd look amazing as a red head."

 **"So," she began with a coy grin. "Am I attractive now?"**

 **Naruto slowly nodded. "...Very much so."**

 **"Smart answer." Amber grabbed the edges of Naruto's jacket and pulled him into the washroom. The door slammed shut behind him.**

"And thus, they banged everywhere…even the kids' beds." Ares narrated.

Athena's mouth opened and closed as she failed to find a proper retort.

"Nice fish face!" Poseidon whispered to her. He grinned at her flush and glare.

"Oh gods, what else has gone on in the cabin?" A red faced Piper feared.

Annabeth decided to continue quickly.

 **Sasuke leaned against his car with his arms crossed over his chest and looked at his watch. It was three-forty, two hours since he had spoken with Silena and other demigods about Luke. He'd been given a letter from one of his brothers, and of course now that he had a precise location, Naruto was skipping out for a booty call.**

"A fine booty indeed." Leo nodded.

Piper just smacked him in the arm.

"Ow!"

 **"Learn anything interesting?"**

 **Speak of the devil. Sasuke turned and glared at his friend. "An underage girl? Really?"**

 **"She's seventeen and two months." Naruto shrugged. "Legal by that age."**

"Both Rhode Island and New York law says that's okay." Apollo grinned like an idiot. He was so proud of Athuto (Athena Naruto) right now.

 **"...She was a brunette!" Sasuke gaped at the blond as he walked past and got in the car.**

 **"Yes. Yes she was," Naruto said with a smile.**

"But now? Red is her color." Aphrodite smiled playfully.

"Mom, please stop." Piper whined.

 **He opened the door. "You texted that you had a lead?"**

 **"...But she wasn't a redhead!"**

 **"You're right, she wasn't. Not naturally."**

 **Sasuke stared at Naruto. "But...But...She's...All those dates Kushina and I set up. The girls Kushina assaulted to dye their hair and** _ **I**_ **bribed!"**

"Wow, he's got a hell load of standards." Nico blinked.

"That does sound a bit extensive." Jason frowned.

Aphrodite grinned. "I'm proud of this Kushina, going so far to ensure her stepson is happy!"

"Not-Ninja Waifu is like Sexy Ninja Waifu with my other kids!" Apollo grinned, even after Artemis hit him.

Zeus looked at Hera, who glared back at him.

 **"I wondered how you got that Sandi chick to agree to go out. She was a very smart woman and her studies on biological enhancements were fascinating. I felt so bad that she left her tests to meet me," Naruto said. He got in the car and sat down, looking at the passenger mirror. Naruto frowned and rubbed at the red lipstick on the side of his mouth. "I walked through the camp and no one said anything? Seriously? Not cool."**

"Too busy laughing." Percy grinned.

Leo snorted. "Or being jealous."

 **"...I'm going to kill you." Sasuke decided as he got in the car. "And then cover it up."**

 **"Uh-huh. So where's the boat?"**

 **"They'll never find your body."**

 **"I find that highly unlikely."**

 **"I'll scatter your remains across the country."**

"Oh, that's a good one," Ares said and made a quick note of it.

 **"Right."**

 **"Lock the tools I used in federal stores and classify the shit out of it."**

"Huh, so Feds do know the best way to murder." Nico hummed in thought with a rub of his chin.

Hazel looked at him. "No."

"What? I'm just thinking."

"And that's what scares me."

 **"Just drive, Sasuke."**

 **"I hate you so much, Naruto."**

 **Naruto rolled his eyes. "Where is it we're going, anyway?"**

 **"You? After this, your body is going six feet under." Sasuke growled at Naruto's chuckle. He pulled back and turned the car around. "But now? We're going to the docks. Tip from my cabin, and confirmed by some guys back in the city. We're heading to Port Jeff."**

"Guess they haven't gone looking for the Fleece yet." Percy commented.

Annabeth shook her head. "They didn't until you gave us the coordinates."

"You said to." Percy told his girlfriend.

"Yeah, it's not like we knew there were spies." Thalia pointed out.

"…Sadly true." Annabeth conceded.

 **"Wake up." A hard punch to the shoulder jostled Naruto from his dreamless, but welcomed sleep. Naruto blearily turned and glared at Sasuke, his hand going to the punched arm and rubbing it soothingly.**

 **"Who taught you how to wake people up?" Naruto asked. He undid his seatbelt and yawned as he got out of the car. Naruto covered his mouth with his fist and shielded his eyes from the setting sun. "Damn...how long was I asleep?"**

 **"Two. Hours." Sasuke grunted as he slammed his door shut. He glared at Naruto. "And you conked out before we even hit traffic."**

"Oh that is just the worst!" Apollo whined.

"You fly the embodiment of the sun." Percy told him.

"I still have to deal with planes!" The sun god looked at Zeus with a frown. "I've had a few close calls because you never tell me to avoid stuff!"

"Helps improve your awareness." Zeus retorted smartly.

 **"Never been able to stay awake in moving transportation. A result of a single father going to drastic measures to make his wailing infant sleep." Naruto droned. He shuddered. "If I'm to keep my sanity, I'm never going to have children."**

"He's a genius." Zeus said dryly, which got him hurt looks from all of his children.

Hera scoffed. "That must make you an utter fool."

"Ah, but he's your fool, Hera." Aphrodite grinned at the couple.

 **Sasuke cuffed him upside the head. "Don't even start. If I have to get married, you have to have children."**

"Ugh, last I checked that's not how it happens." Frank surmised.

"It's in the bro-code," Leo said factually.

Frank furrowed his brow. "No…I don't think it is."

"Well, it's in the Bro-Bible!"

Jason blinked. "There's a Bro-Bible?!"

 **"You have to get married to your fiancé first." Naruto grinned as he rubbed his head, his eyes squinted from the sunlight.**

 **Sasuke glared at him and pulled out a pair of sunglasses to put on. He pulled out another pair and held them out to Naruto.**

 **"Oh!" Naruto blinked and reached for the glasses. "Thanks."**

 **Sasuke pulled the sunglasses away from Naruto's hand and tossed them out into the water. Sasuke then walked off towards the docked ship like he had not just done that.**

Ares started a slow clap and smiled widely. "That's my boy."

"Dick." Leo muttered.

"A bit rude, but Naruto's comment didn't help himself." Reyna observed.

 **Naruto stared after the FBI agent in disbelief. "...That was completely uncalled for!" Naruto looked back at where the sunglasses were thrown before he followed after his irate friend. "So unprofessional."**

 **Naruto caught up to Sasuke, despite having the sunset blinding him, and scowled at him. Sasuke arched a brow, his red eyes concealed by his sunglasses, but Naruto knew that amusement resided in them. The ass.**

"The biggest!" Apollo cheered like a slogan.

 **"Excuse me, sirs, but this is a private dock, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." A security guard put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder as he started to walk past.**

 **Naruto winced. "Oh, you shouldn't have done that. He's in a bad mood. His father's blood shows–"**

 **Sasuke grabbed the hand, twisted the arm and drove the guard to the ground in one fell swoop.**

Ares whooped. "Yeah, violence!"

"Wow, he just pulled that off like it was nothing." Frank praised.

 **"When he's mad." Naruto shook his head and shrugged. "I tried to warn you."**

 **With some light strain, the shoulder dislocated and the security guard cried out. Other guards rushed forward, but stopped when Sasuke lifted up his badge.**

 **"FBI. Try me." Sasuke lowered his sunglasses and glared at the men with burning red eyes. The security guards backed off and went back to their posts while Sasuke pushed his sunglasses back up. "I thought so."**

"That has to be so useful." Leo pouted, but soon grinned.

"Leo, if you forge a badge…" Piper trailed off.

"Who says I'll forge it?" Leo asked innocently.

 **"Wow, what happened while I was asleep?" Naruto asked. "Did your mom call you?"**

 **Sasuke ignored him and walked onto the cruise ship, flashing his badge at people he passed. Naruto pursed his lips as he followed.**

 **"Did your dad call?" Sasuke stopped and looked at him, bewildered.**

"Punk, kick the loser in your car out while driving," Ares said with a phone motion of his hand to his ear.

"No." Athena copied the action just to mock him.

Ares scowled at her. "You suck."

"Last I checked, you did that on the weekends."

Ares glared at Athena while Hephaestus burst into laughter.

 **Naruto shrugged. "It could happen. You were one of the best snipers in the world, in the top ten. Ares would like more deaths to occur in war-like acts.**

Ares nodded to this, but was loving that his kid was such a good sniper. Suck it Apollo!

 **It's only logical-"**

 **"Let me stop you right there," Sasuke said. "First of all, Ares and logic, not a combo. Period. Never going to be a thing. Understand?"**

"Roger." Everyone but Ares nodded.

"You guys suck!"

 **Naruto tilted his head in thought. He then nodded. "That sounds logical."**

 **"And secondly," Sasuke said and poked Naruto roughly in the chest. "I'm** _ **still**_ **one of the best snipers in the world. Don't say it in past tense."**

"Maybe." Apollo huffed.

"Jealous?" Ares sneered.

"You're still stingy that my kid was Hathcock."

That shut up the war god.

 **Sasuke turned and walked away without another word. Naruto arched a brow as he watched his friend walk off. "Stingy bastard."**

 **"I can hear you!" Sasuke called over his shoulder.**

 **Naruto furrowed his brow and followed after the federal agent. He was quiet for a few moments as they walked through the ship and Sasuke asked several people about Luke. The people were distracted, all lost in their own fantasy.**

"The Mist at its cruelest." Hazel frowned and dared to ask, "What happened to them?"

"They were food." Percy grunted with a frown.

Hazel blanched. She was really hoping it wasn't going to be that.

 **Sasuke's temper wasn't helping and it wasn't until they came across a ship hand that they got some good, helpful responses. They were directed to the bridge, and it was only once he cleared the ladder that Naruto snapped his fingers.**

 **"Sakura called, didn't she!"**

"Great, Pinky's in this." Thalia grunted.

 **Sasuke groaned. "I don't want to talk about it."**

 **"Oh, I slept through that? Why didn't you wake me?" Naruto whined as they walked towards the bridge's door. "Her recent findings on the hidden vein system within the human body in Tibet were so amazing! I wanted to know details!"**

"An accomplished doctor, huh?" Apollo mused.

"Amazing someone like Ares' boy could get that." Athena scoffed.

"It's the charm," Ares assured, making his siblings snort at the very thought.

 **"We're not doing this now." Sasuke said as he opened the door to three men, all in their late teens early twenties, standing in the bridge. Sasuke lifted his badge at one of the tall young men in the corner that started to move towards them. "Try it, tough guy. I'll put you down faster than you can growl."**

 **"Ah, welcome, Mister...?" A tall young man with blond hair and a scar on his face smiled at them. The tone was far too pleasant and sounded a bit condescending.**

"Luke in a nutshell," Percy said in a bitter tone, which got a sad look from Annabeth. "He was."

 **"Save the bullshit, Castellan, I was at camp with you." Sasuke growled. One of the two burly boys in the room stepped forward and Sasuke glared at him. "Back off, Fuzzball!"**

 **Naruto put a hand on his shoulder, his eyes locked on the pleasantly smiling teen. "Now, now,** _ **Special Agent**_ **Uchiha, why don't you go question some of the pretty girls on the deck? I'm sure I can get some solid answers out of Mr. Castellan on my own."**

"Yes, battle of wits." Hermes grinned.

"Luke's done," Jason said, he could tell with this Naruto. You just don't mess with him mentally.

"Indeed," Athena nodded. "Naruto has already proven his intellect. He will out do him."

"You're just biased." Hermes scoffed.

"And you aren't?"

Hermes stayed quiet at her retort, which made Athena smirk in victory.

 **Sasuke scowled and abruptly left; the door slammed so hard on his exit that the wood cracked. Naruto sucked in air through his teeth.**

 **"I'm so going to regret doing that," Naruto said as he turned away from the door and sucked in his lips. "Oh well, eyes on the present, not the past as the saying goes."**

 **"I thought children of Athena loved to look to the past for answers?" Luke asked.**

 **Naruto smirked as he looked back at Luke. "Cute. You think about Annabeth just now? How much your absence is hurting her? How she might hate you now?"**

Annabeth squirmed uncomfortably as she continued to read.

 **Luke's smile fell and his eyes became hard. "Is there a reason you and your federal friend are here?"**

 **The two burly boys moved to flank the son of Hermes. Their skin shimmered before they changed into bear-like men. Naruto blinked at the change.**

 **"Ah. The Bear Boys, that explains Sasuke's puns." Naruto mumbled. He was a bit upset that the Mist affected him as long as it had. He should look into more demigod-related murders, get back into the swing of things.**

"I know the feeling." Percy nodded with a pout.

 **Naruto titled his head and looked at the two humanoid bears. "Well, let me just say that Sasuke has not eaten yet and has eaten bear before. I'm also curious about the taste of an immortal's flesh."**

 **The bears exchanged a look while Luke arched a brow. "Cannibalism? Really?"**

 **"Not cannibalism, they're not the same species as I am. From a god's loins, they may be, but demigods these two are not. Ain't that right, boys?" Naruto arched a brow at the two.**

"He's got 'em there." Frank admitted, but blanched at the thought. He was a bear once or twice.

 **He looked back at Luke when they failed to respond. "Muscle, not brains?"**

 **"More or less." Luke crossed his arms. "Why are you on my ship."**

 **"This isn't your ship," Naruto said. He turned and grabbed a plaque from a wall. "This ship is owned by one Mr. Mycroft Holmes..." Naruto turned the plaque around and looked at it with furrowed brows. "Mycroft Holmes? Huh, go figure."**

"Where's Sherlock?" Annabeth wondered.

"He's the blond." Hazel giggled.

Annabeth beamed at that.

 **"It's my ship." Luke restated with a frown. "I appropriated it for the true ruler of the world."**

 **Naruto looked at Luke and then back at the plaque. "...Do you think if there's a Mycroft, that there's a Sherlock? I wonder if he's a brother. That would be disenchanting. God, I really hope he's not a brother of mine."**

"Why not?" Athena frowned.

"Because it takes away from his true skills if he's related to you." Apollo snorted. "Sherlock is pure skill. Period."

 **Luke smacked the plaque out of his hand and held a bronze blade up to his throat. "Why. Are. You. Here?"**

 **"Why is it that every demigod I encounter has a bad attitude? What happened to being civil?" Naruto asked as he looked at the blade disinterestedly. "You should really take better care of this. This was wielded by a Revolutionary."**

 **"Only fitting that it's in my hands then," Luke said. Naruto snorted and Luke narrowed his eyes. "What's so funny?"**

"That he's delusional?" Ares suggested. He ignored the glare from Hermes.

 **"Nothing, nothing...Well, except for the fact that you think you're a Revolutionary," Naruto said. The blade dug into his neck and Naruto tilted his head up. "Struck a nerve didn't I?"**

"He always did have a temper…" Annabeth muttered.

Thalia snorted. "Yeah he did."

 **"I'm fighting for our lives," Luke said lowly. "The gods have taken advantage of demigods for too long, it's time we show them that we deserved better treatment!"**

"Blah, blah, blah." Dionysus rolled his eyes. "Honestly, the boy just rambled on and on."

 **"And this has** _ **absolutely**_ **nothing to do with the feelings of love you had for Zeus' daughter before she was turned into a tree?" Naruto asked.**

Aphrodite squealed. "Yes! Nailed it right on the head!"

Thalia frowned and looked away at this. After Luke did? She could never feel the same again.

 **Luke blinked. "What?"**

 **"It was pathetically obvious, you know. You moped around, always went to visit her on weekends or before bed...Like a kicked puppy. It would be cute if it wasn't so sad," Naruto said nonchalantly.**

"Wow, blade to throat and he's controlling the conversation? That's…scary." Piper admitted in awe.

 **The blade tightened against his throat. "So hasty...denial is not healthy for one's mental health."**

 **"What are you saying?" Luke asked with a growl. "Make some sense."**

 **"Good gods, do I always have to repeat myself?" Naruto groaned. "You were** _ **in love**_ **, you twit! And you expect me to believe you willingly poisoned the tree that protects the camp, the last part of Zeus' daughter that lives?"**

 **"Thalia was dead long before I poisoned that tree!"**

"Uh, no, I wasn't!" Thalia snapped angrily.

 **"Aha! So you admit to poisoning it, then?" Naruto inquired.**

"I got him to admit it, too." Percy commented.

"Yeah, but this is before we even went on the quest! Chiron might keep his job!" Annabeth smiled as she continued to read.

 **"Still though, it's all that remains of her. You're spitting on her grave, the dead don't forget things like that, you know."**

"Got that right." Nico nodded.

"I remember a lot of stuff." Hazel added with a frown.

 **Luke's jaw twitched and Naruto caught it. "Oh-ho...you had a plan. A way to fix the tree...once you emerged victorious from...whatever you call this."**

 **"War." Luke growled as he pulled his blade back. "Choose your side, you either stand with me, or with** _ **them**_ **."**

"We're a _them_ now?" Jason asked.

"Apparently." Percy snorted.

 **"You mean with Olympus, I assume." Naruto hummed. He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I did wonder what type of man it took to poison a tree and endanger all those children."**

 **"They chose their side when they refused to answer my call!"**

 **"Your call? You mean the letters you sent out in the mail? The party invitations?" Naruto asked dryly. "Were you really that mad no one would make reservations?"**

"Really, sending mail? Weak." Ares laughed.

"What's wrong with mail?" Hermes frowned.

"In general, nothing. The problem I have is why you didn't notice?" Zeus frowned at his son.

Hermes quickly looked away from the accusing gaze in shame.

 **Luke lifted his blade and took a swing at Naruto, but another caught his blade. A dagger, easily as long as an arm with two smaller blades protruding from the base, caught Luke's sword before the swing could complete. Naruto held his dagger effortlessly in one hand and pulled out a collapsible baton in the other.**

"Dual wielder, huh?" Jason asked in interest.

"But a baton?" Piper asked.

Reyna answered. "To take down mortal criminals, I would assume."

Piper nodded. "That makes sense."

 **"What's that for?" Luke asked with a grunt as he tried to force his sword to move. "Are you going to try to attack me?"**

 **"No. This is to stop the wonder twins." Naruto flicked a dial and an electric current shot through his baton. He danced around Luke, keeping the son of Hermes at bay with his dagger's unique design, and jabbed both of the humanoid bears in the chest. They flew through the windows of the bridge with yelps and Naruto looked at his baton in wonder. "Hm...I think fifteen amps might be just a tad too much."**

"He's got a mini Master Bolt, cute." Hades chuckled.

Zeus looked crossed between being proud and somewhat annoyed that his symbol was emulated.

 **"Fifteen amps?" Luke pulled away and took another swing. Naruto backed away from the blade and his thumb rolled over the dial.**

 **"Ten amps can kill a human. I was sure that fifteen would only knock them out." Naruto ducked under another swing and sidestepped a slash. "Do you mind? I'm just trying to talk."**

"He can dance well, but I'd rather see him fight." Ares grunted.

"Ballroom Blitz!" Apollo crowed.

 **"And I'm trying to kill you, so yeah. I mind." Luke took another swing. Naruto continued to avoid and deflect with his dagger.**

"He's kind of rude." Hazel frowned.

"When he was trying to kill you, sure." Percy nodded since he had experience with that.

 **"Always the hard way." Naruto sighed. He caught another slice from Luke and twisted his wrist opposite of Luke's own twisting wrist. "Ah, the infamous disarm. A basic, if not overused technique taught at camp. It took a few practice dummies and a few hired hands, but I found a way to avoid being disarmed completely!"**

"Nice." Percy grinned, he had to learn that one.

 **Naruto looked up at his dagger that was suddenly imbedded in the ceiling. "...Huh, you slapped the palm of my hand. You truly are a prodigy in the art of swordsmanship. Bravo."**

"Gets it from daddy." Hermes grinned.

 **"Ready to die, then?" Luke swung and Naruto stopped it with his baton. Luke stared at the mortal weapon that seemingly stopped his celestial bronze blade. He winced when the baton moved and cracked against his elbow, making the son of Hermes back away and shake out his arm.**

 **"The perfect blend of bronze wiring and mortal metals. You, Mr. Castellan, are certainly unstoppable with a blade." Naruto smirked as he lifted his baton up. "I, however, am a master of the single stick." Electricity danced around the tip of the baton. "Care to test yourself against me?"**

"Single stick, so writing that down," Apollo said with a grin.

Aphrodite hummed. "I believe it is a French past time."

 **"...Point taken," Luke said as he dropped his sword to his side. Luke frowned at him. "You are strong and smart, a true son of Athena. Why don't you join me? Can't you see that the gods don't appreciate you?"**

 **Naruto turned his baton off and collapsed it into a portable form. He tucked it into his pocket. Naruto then jumped up to grab his dagger and pull it out from the ceiling. He sheathed it behind him, a thoughtful look on his face.**

 **"You make a good point. I doubt the gods do appreciate me," Naruto said. He shook his head. "But I don't want their appreciation. I don't want their praise, or their glory, or their position."**

"Wow, he's really solitary about all this, huh?" Leo cocked his head.

"Seems that way." Jason agreed.

 **"Oh...You do want their love. Abandonment issues?" Luke asked, a knowing look in his eye.**

 **Naruto scoffed. "Hardly. I know what my godly mother is like. I've met Annabeth Chase."**

"…I don't know if he means it like a compliment or an insult." Annabeth frowned.

"Probably the latter." Reyna told her, which just made the blonde frown further as she read.

 **Luke frowned. "What do you mean?"**

 **"The gods, all of them, have become too human." Naruto nodded. "Athena is called the goddess of wisdom, to be immortally wise and unbiased. But how is it wise to burden one of the brightest human minds on the planet who could do** _ **so much**_ **for the people she lords over with a child? It is not wisdom, it is stupidity. Athena ignored her duty, ignored humanity's need for her own selfish desires for a 'hero' that she could use to stroke her own ego. Make her hubris grow."**

"…And SLAP to the face!" Ares cackled as Athena's eyes were wide.

"Wow…" Annabeth muttered. That…that certainly put things into perspective concerning her dad.

 **"You don't like Athena?" Luke's eyes shone. "Join me-!"**

 **"I'm not finished," Naruto said sternly, giving the infamous glare named after his mother that made Luke's silver tongue turn to lead in his mouth. Naruto relaxed his shoulders. "I do not like Athena. However, Athena is still my mother. Like any child, I love both her and my father immeasurably and I am grateful that she decided to bring me into this world. Just because I love my mother, does not mean I have to like her. I understand her. Frankly, that's enough for me."**

"Athena, words?" Hermes asked with a grin.

"Not now, Hermes," Athena said sharply, a sour look plastered on her face.

 **"But she's a** _ **god**_ **." Luke insisted. "Any problems given to us are** _ **their**_ **fault. They need to be held responsible for ruining our parents' lives!"**

 **"I completely agree," Naruto said. "They want to rule the world, they should grow up and act like it."**

"Shots fired _again_!" Leo whistled as the gods did not look particularly happy at that comment from Naruto.

 **"Exactly!" Luke nodded.**

 **"...You're such a fool." Naruto shook his head and made his way for the door. Luke was stunned and did not move to stop him. Naruto stopped and looked at the confused boy. "There's something to be said about a scared little boy hiding in the closet."**

 **"...What are you talking about?"**

 **"A ranting mother, a crazy woman that spouted nonsense."**

Hermes flinched with a depressed look on his face.

 **"Shut up." Luke reached for his sword. Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out his collapsed baton.**

 **"With that kind of life, it's understandable why he'd be mad. And then the girl he loved died...killed by monsters while she fought to protect him. How's she repaid for her sacrifice? She's turned into a tree."**

 **"I'm going to kill you...I'm going to kill you." Luke trembled, his knuckles white on his sword's grip.**

"Wow, he's really getting under his skin." Percy blinked. "I thought only I could do that."

"You're not _that_ special Percy," Thalia snorted.

"I like to think I am. Just a bit."

 **"I hope you don't try, because if you do, you will die here and now." Naruto warned. Luke heeded it, smart enough to know when he was outmatched. Naruto cautiously slid his baton back into his pocket and turned the handle on the door. "What I see before me is not a revolutionist, but an angry child throwing a fit.**

"Didn't get enough milk as a baby." Ares smirked.

"Enough!" Hermes snarled.

"Meh, make me."

"Ares." Hera glared at the god and got him to stop.

 **The result of your actions will not end well for you, Mr. Castellan. The Olympians will be punished for their crimes against their children, universal balance will see to that."**

"Gaea." Percy coughed into his hand, getting some small chuckles.

"I thought it was Typhon." Poseidon confessed.

"Who knows?" Zeus sighed while Hades frowned in thought.

 **Luke glared at him. "I know. I'll make sure of it."**

 **Naruto shook his head. "I'm afraid that you're wrong. I can guarantee that you won't."**

 **"Is that a threat?" Luke asked.**

 **"You can consider it a promise." Naruto left without another word, leaving the son of Hermes to stew in his own anger.**

"I can see the angst coming off him in waves." Leo said, looking at Nico.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

 **Naruto and Sasuke returned that night to Camp Half-Blood, but Naruto did not mention Luke's admission to Chiron or Mr. D. He figured there would be no point. Zeus would not listen to hearsay, even if it came from Chiron. It was an unfortunate truth, bittersweet really.**

"Yep." All the gods agreed while Zeus glared at them.

 **Sasuke had driven Naruto home and then returned to his own house, to be scolded and argue with his fiancé.**

 **Naruto made a bowl of ramen and watched the evening news.**

 **Small cases – missing pets, simple thefts, and dull criminals – occupied Naruto for two weeks before he received a call from Camp Half-Blood. Chiron told Naruto about a recent quest that not only brought the barrier back up, cleared the centaur's named, and convinced Zeus that Luke Castellan had betrayed Olympus, but the impossible (by mortal standards) had been achieved: Thalia Grace returned to life. It went back to Percy Jackson, the young son of Poseidon, and his desire to rescue not the camp, but his friend Grover Underwood.**

Percy let a large smile cross his face.

 **After hearing the tale, Naruto had agreed to make a visit sometime in the summer and meet the boy, ask Thalia some questions about Limbo, and look into a new guardian for the Golden Fleece.**

"You know, we never did ask you about that." Annabeth told her friend.

Thalia shivered. "Don't."

 **Naruto had just hung up the phone when he felt as though someone had joined him. He turned and blinked in mild surprise when a woman with long dark hair and eyes that were a brilliant grey looked at him. The woman was beautiful, dressed in a grey business suit that gave her an image of authority.**

"It's Judge Judy!"

"Stop calling me that." Athena glared at the amused Apollo.

 **"Athena." Naruto greeted.**

 **Well, now he sort of wished he had pants on. It was embarrassing to greet your mother in your boxers and socks.**

Laughs came from all around while Athena rubbed her eyes. Yes, it was embarrassing. Extremely so.

 **"Naruto Namikaze." Athena nodded back at him. "Dionysus has told Olympus of your investigation that he 'forgot' to mention. Did you discover any information that could've cleared Chiron's name?"**

 **"I might've." Naruto grunted in discomfort when a pair of slacks and a dress shirt appeared on his body. "...Really?"**

"That's my shtick!" Aphrodite glared at the smug wisdom goddess.

"Not really. We can all do it if we wish. You just do it more often."

 **"You shouldn't speak to a goddess in your underwear."**

 **"I wasn't really expecting company." Naruto returned dryly. He pulled his shirt out of his pants and allowed himself to breathe. "Is that all you came here for?"**

 **"...Naruto, I know what you think of me. I'm pretty sure all of Olympus knows what you think of us," Athena said.**

"And he's not smote yet? Wow, getting soft Owl-Head." Ares grinned.

"Humph, opinions are important." The goddess deflected.

 **Naruto crossed his arms. "You've become** _ **too**_ **human. Too comfortable."**

 **"...Perhaps. We are still gods, and while you may not like me, I do care for you," Athena said. She looked around the studio apartment with a frown. "Isn't Dr. Namikaze a millionaire?"**

 **"Why does everyone rag on the simple living style?" Naruto threw his arms up in disbelief. "It's comfortable, affordable, and functional! What more do I need?" He pointed at the goddess with a frown on his face. "If you say a woman's touch I will consider committing matricide."**

"Wow, he is very afraid of commitment," Piper giggled.

"He's just not looking right now," the love goddess confirmed.

 **Athena let a small amused smile spread on her face. "I'm a goddess. It'd be suicide by immortal."**

 **"...Well, I'd give one hell of a try." Naruto crossed his arms again and shifted nervously at the look in Athena's eyes. "But don't get me wrong, I like being alive."**

"I do too." Percy nodded.

"Same here." Jason agreed as the demigods nodded their heads, Hazel most of all.

 **"You don't want to commit suicide, then?"**

 **"Oh no, not at all. I love being alive. There are many things in this life that I'm fond of." Naruto nodded.**

 **"Such as?" Athena asked.**

 **"Ramen, sex, puzzles, ramen, Star Trek, sex, foreign languages, sex, ramen, foreign cultures, astrology, ramen, redheads, and did I mention ramen?" Naruto asked.**

"He mentioned sex three times~!" Aphrodite tittered.

"Joy, a deviant." Athena frowned.

Ares grinned at her. "It's exercise!"

Athena scowled at him.

 **Athena arched a brow. "Four times."**

 **"Make it five. I like the number five. It's so...evenly odd." Naruto nodded.**

"Ha-ha! Suck it!" Ares jeered at his sister.

"He likes the number, not you, pig," Athena said sternly.

"My number is five. You're just mad."

 **He slid his hands into his pockets and frowned when he felt something brush against his left hand. Naruto pulled the object out and unfolded a piece of paper. "...What does Valdez mean?"**

"All around badass." Leo answered instantly, but blinked in confusion. "Wait, why does he have my name?"

"Shush and we'll see." Piper told him.

 **Athena smiled slightly and walked up to her son. She put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "I can see where one of my children's passion lies. You enjoyed the case of the poisoned tree."**

 **"Oh, that's good...I'm going to use that," Naruto said with a hum as he rubbed his chin. "Start a novella, perhaps. Got to flesh it out though, add in more sex and romance, perhaps a murder or two. Readers love that sort of thing."**

The more book passionate readers nodded to this.

Aphrodite, however, was giddy at the mention of a sex scene. She liked this Naruto.

 **"Consider this my test for you, then," Athena said. Naruto looked back at her and she smirked. "You've solved over forty thousand mortal crimes in your life...and only one Olympian case was ever issued to you. You didn't obtain any evidence, the victim hasn't received justice, and you failed to get a reward for your time."**

 **"...I do like puzzles..." Naruto looked back at the paper in his hand. He looked up in time to see the fading figure of his mother before she vanished like she was never truly there. Naruto looked down at the paper in his hand and walked over to a blank spot on the wall next to his futon. He grabbed a piece of chewed gum from the floor and adhered the paper to the wall.**

 **"Valdez, huh?" Naruto crossed his arms and stared at the paper with the name scrawled on it. He looked closer at a small smudge. Naruto sniffed the paper and shook his head "...This is grease? Something to do with Hephaestus."**

"Part bloodhound?"

"Don't even jest." Athena frowned at Poseidon, who just smirked at her.

 **Naruto dropped his hands to his hips and smirked. "Okay, Athena. Challenge accepted."**

"Well…that was different." Annabeth surmised the thoughts of everyone.

"Big time." Percy agreed with his girlfriend.

* * *

 **And that is the first of many to come. I just want you all to know my daughter of Hades fic is coming out soon. Just be a little patience.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: (some sort of preview warning)**

 **AN: I don't own** _ **Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus**_ **or** _ **Naruto**_ **.**

 **Reading: The Monster Hunter**

"Man, this is getting dull." Leo complained as the book was handed over to him

"Why?" Piper asked him.

"Just," Leo turned around to look at the gods and then looked back at Piper. "Seriously, this Naruto guy is like _everyone's_ kid."

"It is called Multi-verse theory for a reason, Leo Valdez." Athena reminded.

"Yeah, I know that." Leo rolled his eyes. "I just think we need something…different."

"Like?" Percy asked, eating some blue M&M's.

"Dark, gritty, Batman-ish stuff." The son of fire mused as he turned the page and read the title, "The Monster Hunter…ooh, I like it! Now to get all Dark Knight up in here."

"Leo!" The demigods complained at his delay.

"I got it, I got it." The elfish boy rolled his eyes before he started to read.

 **Lewis Tumnus the Eighth – yeah, make the Lion, Witch and Wardrobe joke, you know you want to –**

Everyone snickered at that one. Poor sap.

 **was not having a good day. He was far from Camp Half-Blood, home to demigods, satyrs (like himself) and nymphs of Ancient Greek lore. Well, lore according to normal humans anyway. To beings like Lewis, it was sanctuary, the last good one as far as he was concerned.**

"A sad time indeed." Artemis nodded solemnly.

 **Lewis wiped the back of his furry arm across his brow to clear away the sweat. This heat was unbearable.**

"Mmm, rack of goat." Ares rubbed his stomach with a grin on his face.

"Ares!" Hermes look appalled.

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it."

 **And there were far too many chains with hooks on them that hung from the ceiling in his opinion. A shadow moved and Lewis hurriedly turned to find the source of it. Why did he agree to come to this old steel mill again?**

 **Oh yeah, because Chiron had made it an official request to the council.**

 **Lewis pitied the old centaur, truly he did. He was given the blame for the poison of Thalia's Pine when someone else was clearly responsible.**

"Well," Thalia said, a displeased frown adorned her lips. "At least we know when this takes place."

 **Alas, Lewis was just a satyr, a lowly ranked one in satyr hierarchy at that, and could do nothing but help the trainer out when he needed it.**

 **Lewis grunted as he backed into an old table. Something fell and, before he could fathom an attempt to stop it, the object hit the ground and made a large bang. Lewis yelped and quickly clapped his hands over his mouth to conceal the sound.**

"Dead goat walkin' people, salute!" Ares threw up his hand to his head.

The boys all followed, only because that was one dead goat.

 **It was too late.**

 **The shadows came alive and from one came an enormous Hellhound. A creature of shadow, the Hellhound was seen only thanks to the faint light that came from the mill's active smelters. Its red eyes scanned the room, and drool dripped from the massive jaws.**

 **Lewis scrambled for a place to hide. He ducked behind a large cabinet far from where he stood and breathed heavily as the sound of several deep sniffs hit his sensitive ears.**

"Like Jurassic Park all over again." Apollo beamed. He just got a new idea.

 **He kept his hands over his mouth so no unintentional bleats came out. He carefully peeked out from his hiding place and swallowed. A muffled bleat escaped his hands, which tightened around his mouth.**

 **The Hellhound sniffed along the ground like a normal dog would and stopped where he had once stood. There were several more sniffs before it looked up. The Hellhound stalked closer to Lewis' cabinet, and the satyr shrunk back into the shadows within.**

 **If only he could hide his scent, for the one few moments in his life, Lewis cursed the fact that he was a satyr.**

"Hey, free leg warmers." Leo pointed out the upside.

 **The Hellhound growled as it approached. The sound of its paws as they struck the ground were like booms of thunder from an angry Zeus, something that absolutely terrified Lewis ever since he was a young goat.**

Zeus gave a small chuckle.

 **Lewis' eyes screwed shut and he held his breath.**

 **The Hellhound's snout started to penetrate the cabinet and the growl became ferociously loud. It was a growl of anticipation and the glee of captured prey. A growl Lewis really wished he hadn't heard.**

 **Then, something happened.**

"Darn you plot convenience!" Nico shook his fist in the air.

 **The doors to the mill, left open to only a crack, suddenly exploded with noise as they were thrown open wide. The Hellhound retreated from the near discovery it almost made and barked at the intruder. A chain rattled and the sound of a metallic crack filled the air. The crack was followed by a boom and the Hellhound's whine shortly after.**

"Was that a gun?" Ares smiled widely and ruthlessly.

Elsewhere, around the world, a thousand puppies had just died.

 **Lewis chanced another look outside of his cabinet spot and leaned out. He saw the Hellhound on its side on the ground. It writhed and snarled at an unseen foe, or hero in Lewis' opinion, until it suddenly went still with a yowl. A chain fell to the ground as the Hellhound dissolved into golden dust, a small pelt of fur left behind as a reward.**

 **A gunshot rang out and Lewis cringed.**

 **"Come out." The voice that spoke was young, but hoarse like it was unused. There was the soft click of a gun's hammer pulled back. "Next shot will be the last."**

"…He is so mine." Ares laughed. "Suck it losers!"

 **Lewis climbed out of his spot with his hands up. "Don't shoot! I'm not a monster!"**

"He's lying cool guy!" Ares pleaded. "Shoot the goat, shoot him! Kill him, kill the furry abomination!"

"Ares, shush." Hestia frowned.

"Aww."

 **There was silence before another soft click followed his words. From the shadows came a giant of a teen. He was easily a few inches taller than the average man and his shoulders were broad. Underneath a black leather jacket was a worn faded camp T-shirt covered his chest and relaxed jeans were on his legs. Boots of some sort were on his feet and in his left hand was a mortal handgun. In his right, the end of a bronze chain that rested where the Hellhound once lay. The gun was tucked into a holster on his hip and the chain, as though sentient, wrapped itself around his arm several times.**

"Nice bling." Thalia complimented on the chain jewelry/weapon.

"I can dig it." Nico nodded in kind.

"Goths and punks." Percy shook his head, which earned him glares from his cousins.

 **"What do you want?" Lewis looked up at the teen's face, or what he could see of it anyway. A bandanna that had the lower image of a human's skull on it protected the teen's face from the nose down. Steel blue eyes glared at Lewis and short wild corn-colored hair covered his head.**

"Badass." Leo whistled.

Ares buffed his nails on his jacket in pride.

 **Lewis swallowed and slowly reached into his cargos pocket. He pulled out a folded letter and offered it to the blond. The blond snatched the letter from the satyr's hand and flipped it open. His eyes scanned the contents before he folded the note back up and tucked it away into his jacket.**

 **"Payment?"**

"Of course he'd be a mercenary." Athena rolled her eyes. "As expected of one of Ares."

"Paid to kill and blow shit up? Hell the fuck yes!" Ares cheered.

 **Lewis blinked at the question and then fumbled around in his other pocket. He pulled out a small bag that jingled with each movement and held it out to the blond. The hand shot out like a viper and grabbed the leather bag. It also vanished into his jacket soon after.**

"Greedy punk." Hermes hummed.

 **"I'll get the rest at camp." The teen turned and walked out to where a dark motorcycle with a massive front waited.**

"Just like his dad." Ares grinned in pride.

 **Lewis hurriedly ran after him. The rider got on the bike and turned the engine over. The wheels ignited in flame and the sides of the hood turned on, a red headlight on either side, like evil eyes.**

Leo's jaw dropped. "…Must build...epic bike."

 **"Wait, can I hitch a ride?" Lewis asked.**

 **The blond paused as he held a dark helmet and scrutinized the satyr for a moment. A beat passed before he pulled the helmet on and revved the engine. The rider turned to the satyr, his face hidden by the helmet.**

 **"I'll take you to the bus station."**

 **Lewis sighed in relief. "That'll work. Thanks."**

 **"Don't mention it."**

"Aw, he has a soft side." Apollo snickered.

Ares scowled and crossed his massive arms. "Bah, let the furry walk."

 **"** ** _Run! Get Naruto out of here, Kushina!"_**

 **"** ** _Minato, don't be an idiot!"_**

 **"** ** _I'll hold them off, just go!"_**

 **"** ** _Mom! No, we have to go back for Minato! Minato!"_**

 **The rider shook his head and lifted his faceguard to rub at his eyes. He lowered it so that the wind didn't bother him and brooded over his dream. That dream had gotten really old, really fast.**

"Ooo, dark origin story." Leo bounced in his seat. "Just like Batman."

"Makes him a bit interesting," Aphrodite said with a small smirk.

 **It had been six years since that day, the day his mother and stepfather died. Six years since he left Camp Half-Blood behind along with all the friends he made. He wondered how many were left, how many had died on quests.**

"That's morbid." Piper frowned.

 **He wondered if anyone had taken Moria's place as Cabin counselor.**

 **Well, he thought idly, I guess I'll find out for myself once I get there.**

 **His hand hit the autopilot switch and he retook control of his prized creation.**

"…What?" Ares blinked stupidly.

Hephaestus chuckled.

"No, no!" Ares wailed. "All that awesome. No way! The Cripple got all that?!"

"Suck it!" Leo cheered.

"I'm amazed Kushina did the deed with him." Aphrodite blinked in bewilderment.

The smith god huffed. "I can be charming."

"As a freshly shined wrench." Apollo snickered.

"You walked into that one, dad." Leo nodded. Hephaestus grunted in return.

 **It was originally a bodyguard for his mother, made in his first year, for when he was away at camp. After she had met Minato and things started to look serious, he took the bot with him to camp in his third year to tinker and toy with it.**

"A motorbike bodyguard…like Nightrider?" Leo gasped.

"Epic." Apollo grinned and got a high-five from Hermes.

Hephaestus' smirk widened while Ares' scowl grew.

"So not fair..." Ares muttered.

 **After the** ** _incident_** **, Naruto packed up what remained of the original work and left Camp Half-Blood for good.**

"Bold," Percy whistled. He was pretty impressed.

 **Six years ago, Naruto thought. He reached out with his right hand and pat the modified Suzuki motorcycle on the massive hood that housed an engine that ran on a smidge of plutonium and recycled energy.**

"Nice power source." Leo nodded.

"And radioactive." Reyna added flatly.

The Latino waved off her comment. "Meh, semantics."

 **"How's it feel to be six years old, Kurama?"**

 **The headlights flashed and the engine revved like a cat would purr.**

"Aw, just like Festus." Leo smiled brightly at his badass dragon.

 **Beneath his helmet, Naruto cracked a smile. "Yeah, I know. Feels longer, doesn't it?"**

 **The motorcycle revved again.**

 **"Alright, you take it easy and let me drive." There was another rev before the speed dropped significantly from three hundred and twenty one miles per hour. Naruto leaned forward and took the right down the dirt road. Naruto hit another switch that cut the blaze of fiery wheels and replaced them with off-road ready treads.**

"Good speed and all-terrain functions." Leo muttered. He grabbed a napkin and began to write on it.

"Hey, read, don't write." Annabeth told Leo.

Leo whined. "But-but..." He wasn't given any relief and he sighed. "Darn it."

 **Naruto turned right at the strawberry fields and kept to the road as the woods neared. The sounds of shouts and yells increased in volume as he drove closer to where the camp was. Naruto banked around the corner and saw a line of armored campers on Half-Blood Hill, shields and spears at the ready while a few archers took shots at the attackers.**

 **The rider sneered at them beneath his helmet, Cyprian Centaurs. A race of centaurs that hail from the island of Cyprus, said to be attendants of Aphrodite**

"Um," Aphrodite said as she stroked her hair and looked away from the amused gazes she received.

 **and children of Zeus and Gaia,**

Zeus cleared his throat in an effort to urge his grandson to continue while Hera glared at him.

 **they were similar to normal centaurs but are larger and have bull-like horns that stick out the side of their head. They had thick hides and were fast despite their size.**

 **Naruto let his right hand slip out to the side and grabbed the handle of the weapon that was holstered behind him. The blond pulled the modified Winchester shotgun out and, with a swivel of the cock he had practiced after he watched a Schwarzenegger film, loaded a round.**

"Best. Bro. Ever." Leo grinned and smirked. "Jealous?"

"Of a Batman wannabe? No." Percy scoffed. "Tyson is ten times cooler."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "My brother is like Sherlock Holmes, the hands down _greatest_ detective."

"Um, Ninja brother?" Piper chimed in with a smirk. "I win."

Jason smirked and looked at Thalia. "I dunno, I like Apollo's Naruto best...I get a niece and nephew."

"Shut up, Jason!"

 **He sped ahead of the centaurs and skid to a halt halfway up the hill. With his other arm as a balance, Naruto fired a round at the small force.**

 **Three seconds after his shot, three of the centaurs were coated in fluid that burst into flames on contact with their skin. One fell into dust then and there, but the other two fled, and the flames that covered them remained despite their attempts to douse them.**

"Effective." Reyna commented idly.

 **Naruto swiveled the shotgun again and drove at the surprised platoon. As he drove past one, he unloaded a bronze shotgun shell into its head. At the sight of their brother's head exploding, the centaurs abandoned their charge and chased after him as he sped away.**

"Wow, he saved Clarisse." Percy grinned as he got a push from Annabeth. Sure, they're friends how, but Percy would still rag on her from time to time.

 **Naruto shook his head. Too easy. He holstered the shotgun and twisted his wrist. From around his arm, the bronze chain slipped down and rattled in the wind. He threw his arm out at a distant tree and the chain shot out. It wound twice before it became lodged in place. Naruto turned around and led the centaurs into the woods, where he wound his way through the trees. The centaurs continued to follow after him, which led to their downfall.**

 **Throughout the chase, Naruto let his chain get hooked on several trees. The result was akin to a comedic run-into-the-clothesline sketch,**

"I love those." Piper snickered.

 **only with a bronze chain that cut through the centaur's midsections like they were butter.**

Piper was silent and horrified. Jason patted her shoulder to console her.

 **Naruto retraced his path and unwound the chain with a sharp tug. As he broke through the brush, one centaur blindsided him and tackled him off of his bike.**

"Ooh, fail!" Ares jeered.

 **Naruto got back to his knees with a groan. He pulled his cracked helmet off of his head and put his hand to the gash that rested over his eye. He looked over to where the centaur slowly rose to its hooves, a stump where its left arm once was. The blond then looked for his motorcycle, which he found on its side a few meters away.**

 **One detail stuck out and Naruto's eye twitched. "You scratched my bike."**

"And now he's dead." Leo glared.

"Never scratch the ride." Ares and Apollo nodded, both wholeheartedly agreed with Leo.

"Boys." Artemis shook her head.

 **"You killed my kin!" The centaur growled in return. It used its spear to rise to its full height. "A scratch will not satisfy my desire for your death, Halfling!"**

 **Naruto just glared at the centaur. The chain dangled from his wrist and he tightened his grip around it. Fire burned in his eyes and he focused solely on the centaur before him. The centaur charged forward with a yell and Naruto twisted his right wrist. The chain shot out to wrap around his left wrist and he ran at the centaur. Just before the centaur's spear was within strike distance, Naruto jumped and turned midair. His chain dropped down and caught itself under the centaur's neck. Naruto landed on the half-horse's ass and pulled the chain back.**

"Okay, strangling a monster…that's new." Frank whistled.

Percy waved it off. "I strangled a sea serpent once."

"Modest." Annabeth smirked at him. She got a lopsided smile in return.

 **Air left the centaur's mouth and slowly, the bronze chain glowed as it started to burn its way through the centaur's neck. Naruto tightened the length of the chain and continued to pull while the centaur bucked. This continued for about five minutes, when the centaur dropped to the ground and pulled at the chain that strangled him. Naruto twisted the chain so it completely encircled the Cyprian's neck.**

"A sadist." Demeter commented lightly, which got a frown from Hephaestus.

"He scratched his bike. It's a completely legitimate response," The smith god said.

 **"This is for scratching my bike," Naruto said softly before he gave a final pull and sliced through the monster's neck with his chain. The monster's head fumbled in the air for a second before it began to dissolve into golden dust along with the body. Naruto let his chain wind up around his arm once again as he watched the monster disappear. All that remained was the centaur's spear, which Naruto picked up and broke over his knee.**

 **As he took the spearhead and tossed the natural remains of his 'spoil' into the wood to be made use of, the armored campers ran towards him. Naruto ignored them and went to his bike.**

"That's nice." Thalia frowned.

"Scratch on the bike." Leo stressed. He shook his head. "I swear, you gotta be one of us to get it."

 **He ran his finger along the scratch on the hood and glowered.**

 **"Sorry, Kurama," he said softly. The bike's headlights flashed once and the engine revved. Naruto patted the hood and pulled the bike back onto its wheels. While he looked over the side that had hit the ground, the campers had circled him and watched him warily.**

 **"Who are you?" A girl with a red plume on her helmet demanded, her spear pointed at him. Naruto ignored her and continued to clean his bike of dirt and examine it for any damage. The girl growled and the tip of her spear became covered by red lighting. "I said, who are-!?"**

"Girl might get smoked." Hephaestus commented. He got a venomous glare from Ares.

"Shut it, Crip."

 **"Enough Clarisse!" The voice of an older man cut in. The girl, Clarisse, frowned and backed off, her spear's red lightning died down as she did. Hooves clopped to a still and Naruto looked up at one of the few friendly centaurs he knew that didn't have a bad drinking habit.**

"If only!" Dionysus complained as he threw an arm in the air with a scowl on his face.

 **Chiron smiled down at the blond. "Thank you for coming, Naruto."**

 **"Monsters are coming in waves, why wouldn't I be here?" Naruto rose and offered his hand, which Chiron took in a strong grip. "Nice to have some decent forges to use, anyway."**

 **"I'd imagine so," Chiron said with a small smile as he released Naruto's hand. He looked Naruto over and sighed. "So much has happened in these past few years...I hear you took on the Nemean Lion."**

"Huh, rocks for us." Percy told Thalia.

"Yeah, but now you're going to be full of bullets."

"…That'll suck."

 **"It ran away before I could finish it," Naruto said bitterly.**

"Oh, good." Percy nodded. "Now I won't be full of bullets."

 **He looked down at his bike and then back at the centaur. "Can you give me some space? I need to give Kurama a thorough check up."**

 **Chiron nodded and turned to the other campers. "Back to your stations, there is no more trouble here."**

 **"...Yes, Chiron," Clarisse said after a moment. She turned to the other campers that dawdled behind and barked. "You heard the centaur! Move it!"**

"Ten-hut soldiers!"

Frank saluted at his father's shout with a serious look on his face. The demigods let out a few snickers.

 **After the campers had made it halfway up the hill, Naruto turned his attention to some of the controls on the bike and began to flip various switches. With a final turn of the ignition, he backed away and gestured for Chiron to do the same.**

 **The motorcycle shuddered and revved the engine before it started to change. The hood flipped back and the wheels rolled up into the bike. The sight was one of technical wonder, as Naruto's bike continued to change. With a few final clicks of gears being shifted in place, the bike had transformed into a lion-sized fox, with bright red eyes. The fox shook itself and stretched like a cat before it barked at Naruto.**

"…Festus is still more awesome."

"He's a giant dragon." Nico pointed out.

"Exactly." Leo grinned. "Bro did a good job, though. Mad props."

 **"I'll bet," he said with a nod. Naruto turned to the surprised Chiron and nodded his head to the bike. "Chiron, meet Kurama, or Kyubi 3.4.1."**

"Mark nine." Thalia smirked. It made sense since that was what the fox was based off of.

 **"Astounding work, Naruto," Chiron said as he looked over the automaton fox. "Teumessian inspired?"**

 **"Minato's favorite story." Naruto shrugged. He patted the machine on the head. "Kurama here is my greatest creation."**

 **"Interesting name. I know you're of Japanese heritage, but why Kurama?" Chiron asked.**

 **"It's a mountain in Japan and an anagram," Naruto said. "Killbot Utilized for Roaming Areas and Monster Annihilation."**

"…Best nephew ever." Ares admitted as he frowned. Aw, now he wanted a kill bot.

 **Kurama barked and sat at Naruto's side like a loyal dog would.**

 **"Good boy." Naruto tossed the spearhead he had gotten from the Cyprian into the air and Kurama caught it in his mouth. As it chewed, Naruto looked to Chiron with a bit of pride in his eyes. "His teeth are bronze, but painted over with steel infused chemicals to give the illusion of normal metal."**

"Ah science, what can't you do?" Leo smiled.

"Bring back the dead." Nico pointed out.

Leo snorted. "I'm living proof you can."

"Godly magic stuff, not science."

"…Science is working on it!"

"I hope not." Hades frowned. "For your sake."

 **"Quite..." Chiron stared at the fox as it swallowed the spearhead like a meal. He was a bit unnerved by the fox, more so when it seemed to look** ** _at him_** **and lick its chops. The centaur cleared his throat and then turned towards camp. "Well, er, shall we?"**

 **Naruto shrugged and slipped his hands into his jacket pockets. "I don't see why not. Come on, Kurama."**

 **Kurama barked and it followed the centaur and its creator. Chiron explained the situation in greater detail as they walked. Naruto took it all in with a small frown behind his bandanna. Apparently, someone had poisoned Thalia's Pine and the barrier had fallen a few weeks back. As he walked past the tree, Naruto observed the dying wood with a bit of concern. No wonder Chiron was taking the blame, Zeus must have been infuriated when he saw what happened to his daughter's tree.**

"Oh, I was." Zeus nodded.

"But why Chiron?" Thalia asked her father.

Dionysus scoffed. "I wasn't going to take responsibility."

"Of course not." Percy rolled his eyes.

"What was that, Peter?"

"You know what I said."

 **"Any ideas on who did it?" Naruto asked softly.**

"We know." Annabeth mumbled, but Percy nudged her.

 **A harpy flew overhead and warned him of his demise, but was scared off when Kurama barked at her. Naruto snapped his fingers to regain the machine's attention, but kept his own eyes on the centaur.**

 **Chiron sighed with resignation. "It matters not, the deed is done and the blame has been placed. There is no hope for Thalia's Pine."**

"…Okay." Percy blinked, that was brief.

 **"...Uh-huh," Naruto said in disbelief. He could think of a few things, but if Chiron said they were a no-go, then they probably wouldn't be accepted. "I'll meet with Mr. D tomorrow. I'm tired and I want to kick whoever had taken my bunk out of it."**

 **"I'm sure." Chiron gave Naruto a smile and put his hand on the blond's shoulder. "Thank you, again. I know how hard it is for you to be here, Naruto."**

 **"...Goodnight, Chiron," Naruto said with another nod. He and Kurama left the centaur and headed for Cabin Nine. He opened the door easily and walked in. Kurama followed and pushed the door shut with its tail. Naruto walked through the cabin until he came to the underground bunks. He stomped three times on the ground until a hatch popped open and out came a tired dark skinned teen a few years younger than him.**

"There's Beck." Percy smiled sadly. Annabeth reassured him with a squeeze of his hand.

 **"Huh, who're you?" he asked.**

 **"Naruto Uzumaki," the blond said with a frown. Seemed Moria either died or followed his example, since the kid was in her bunk.**

"So dark…" Leo whispered eerily.

 **"Son of Hephaestus."**

 **The boy blinked tiredly and focused in the dark on the taller teen. "When'd you get claimed?"**

 **"Nine years ago." Naruto frowned.**

"Back when you were playing with crayons," Annabeth said in an old lady voice. The addition of a wagged finger got a few laughs.

 **"Look, can you tell me if anyone took the bunk furthest from the forge?"**

 **"No one could. It's been locked since I got to camp several years ago by the previous counselor," the boy said.**

"For destruction awaits those who open the vault." Piper said in monotone.

"Oooh, I like." Leo nodded, which got the two to share a laugh.

Jason shook his head, a smile on his face.

 **He held a hand out. "Sorry, haven't introduced myself yet. Charles Beckendorf, head counselor."**

 **Naruto took the hand and shook it lightly. "No prob. Get back to bed. Just wanted to make sure no one broke my lock."**

"Yeah, can't let the killbot designs roam." Percy nodded.

"Bad news bears." Frank agreed.

 **Naruto left Charles confused and tired and went to his bunk, furthest from the forge and on the left corner.**

Leo snorted, "No one would want it then. Too far. ...Damn, that's a smart way to ensure no one goes through your stuff."

 **He knelt down and grabbed the bronze lock that held the hatch in place. Several people had tried to pick it, and it made Naruto chuckle. His gas-lock must've knocked them out or made them sick.**

"Note to self, gas locks…"

"Leo," Piper frowned.

"What? This guy has some good ideas!"

 **He looked to Kurama and nodded.**

 **"Eat up, Kurama."**

 **The fox's eyes flashed and it pounced on the lock like a lion to an antelope. Kurama ripped the bronze lock off after a few tugs and went to town. Naruto shook his head and opened the hatch to his old bunk. He dropped in and looked up to where the fox remained behind.**

 **Naruto shook his head. "Kurama, get in here before one of the kids tries to take you apart."**

"I would," Leo said shamelessly.

 **The fox fell in with the grace of a cat, accompanied by a loud thump, and curled up on the floor. Kurama continued to gnaw peacefully on the lock and Naruto pulled the hatch shut. He walked over to his bunk and sat down on the edge. The room was dusty and a few sketches of ideas for his house in Oregon from when he was twelve were taped to the walls. Naruto smacked the bed and a small cloud of dust shot up.**

"Oh, he should at least dust it." Hestia frowned. "You shouldn't sleep like that after all."

 **With a frown under his bandanna, Naruto looked at his machine.**

 **"Kurama, activate air recycler," he said. The fox paused in its treat before its back clicked and two vents popped up from its back. They turned on and Kurama went back to its treat.**

"How prepared." Athena complimented. "That could be used for hazardous areas as well. Bravo."

 **Naruto slipped his jacket off, hung it over the edge of his bunk, and then bent over to untie his boots. He slipped his feet out and laid back on the bed. With one hand hovered over it, Naruto debated whether or not to take his bandanna off for the night. He decided against it because of the dust in the room and focused on the roof of his bunk.**

 **Naruto stared at the picture attached to the roof, one with a redheaded woman and a tall lean blond next to her, while a younger version of himself was in front of them with a small machine in his arms. They were outside of the new house Minato bought in Oregon and both blonds had Camp Half-Blood shirts on.**

"Oh, so the step-dad was a demigod." Percy tilted his head. "That's pretty cool."

 **Naruto's was newer and several sizes too large – though now it was a bit snug – while Minato's was older and the lettering had faded.**

 **"...I forgot about that picture," he said softly. His heart ached like a clamp had been squeezed around it and the blond draped his arm over his eyes. He listened to Kurama's vents clean the air and his eyes fell shut behind his arm. "...Night mom. Night Minato."**

"That was sad," Hazel frowned.

"Ah, but it can only go up now." Leo pointed out.

Hazel smiled lightly. "True."

"I'll take over." Piper said, getting Leo to smile.

"Yes!" Leo grinned and, once he handed the book over, started to write down some notes.

 **Naruto shot up, his skin covered in cold sweat. With a grunt, Naruto turned to sit on the edge of his bed. His left hand wiped the sleep out of his eye and he forced back a yawn. Naruto looked down at the massive machine that had curled up at the head of his bunk. He bent over and rapped his knuckles on the top of the fox-like head. "Hey, wake up, Kurama."**

"Knock, knock buckethead." Nico smirked.

 **The eyes of the metal fox brightened from the dimmed setting they were in sleep mode. The fox got up with a stretch while Naruto rose from his bunk and opened the hatch. Naruto grabbed the edge and pulled himself out of his room with little effort. The son of Hephaestus welcomed the heat of the forge as it passed over his skin and the blond took in a breath of air.**

"That place still needs a good cleaning." Hestia frowned.

The smith god groaned at that. He still remembered the last time Hestia visited him at one of his forges. He had just finished putting his tools back where he like them instead of their 'proper' place.

 **He sighed and looked around for any sort of clock and found it on the wall above an opposite room three bunks away.**

 **"Three fifteen...four hours, new record," Naruto said.**

"Seems like you've got an insomniac, Heph." Apollo pointed out.

"I so know the feeling." Nico nodded.

"You could use some sleep." Hazel frowned towards her brother.

Nico shrugged. "Meh."

 **He cracked his neck and stepped out of the way so that his loyal creation could follow him. Kurama shook itself off, a small cloud of dust shot out from his vent and the machine growled. "Yeah, yeah. I'll clean you after I get a shower in. It's been a few days since we stopped at that pond in Illinois."**

"Ew." Aphrodite and the demigoddesses grimaced.

"Way of the land." Thalia shrugged.

"Helps blend in with nature…but only so much until she reeks." Nico snickered and got a nasty look from Thalia.

 **Kurama's eyes flashed eagerly and it scratched at its left ear with its hind leg. Naruto shook his head and walked down the hall towards the shower. "Come on, buckethead. You've got the spare clothes in subspace."**

 **Kurama let out a few clicks and followed Naruto down the hall. It stopped outside the door and its right shoulder popped open.**

"Huh, think it's a washing machine, too?" Annabeth asked.

"All purpose…" Leo noted on his napkin.

 **Naruto snatched the rolled up clothes and took them with him into the bathroom. "Anyone tries to tinker with you, bite their hand off."**

"…Extreme." Jason blinked.

Hephaestus snorted. "I'd try to tinker with it. So, not really."

"...Same." Leo agreed.

 **Kurama tilted his head and clicked a few times.**

 **"I'll just build them a new one,"**

"Oh, that's fair." Percy nodded. He leaned towards Annabeth's ear and whispered. "Not really."

Annabeth nodded in agreement.

 **Naruto said with a shrug as he grabbed one of the clean towels from the closet next to the bathroom. Kurama seemed content with that and curled up in front of the bathroom while Naruto shut the door behind him.**

 **He placed his clothes on the counter and looked into the mirror. The skull on his bandanna grinned back at him and with a hard look in his eyes, Naruto pulled the article from his face, which was revealed to be quite handsome. Naruto glared at the three large scars that went from one side of his face to the other, courtesy of a monster he had yet to fully remember. The scars that crossed over his nose, mouth and chin were lighter than his skin and jagged.**

"Luke." Percy muttered, he looked a lot like it. Just bigger and buffer.

"Hm, handsome." Aphrodite mused as a smile spread across her face, she did like scars after all.

Ares frowned. While he liked the look, he did not like the fact that his girlfriend did, too.

 **The day he had gotten them, Naruto had lost his mother and stepfather.**

 **He looked away from the mirror and pulled his shirt off. He balked at his own odor as it wafted off the shirt and hurriedly turned the shower on. With a mental note to burn his shirt and get a new one,**

"The icon of bachelordom." Artemis stated blandly.

"Ah bachelors. Best parties." Apollo nodded.

Dionysus scowled, he never got to go to any of those.

"So glad I'm not one." Percy frowned.

"You'd be helpless without me." Annabeth smirked at him.

Percy smirked back. "Duh."

 **Naruto stripped down and jumped into the hot shower. When he was finished, Naruto quickly dried himself off with the towel he had grabbed and got dressed.**

 **Naruto walked out of the shower clad in a clean pair of jeans and a white wife beater that clung to him like a second skin. He balled the other clothes up, save for the Camp shirt he planned to drop into the forge,**

"Hey!" Leo waved his fist. "Don't go funking up the fumes, dude! I'm not there yet!"

 **and gave them to Kurama. The metal fox stored the dirty clothes in the opposite shoulder and followed its creator back towards the bunk. Naruto fell in, pulled his boots on, put his contained ammo clips strapped around his right thigh**

"Never leave home without your clip." Ares nodded.

 **and left his jacket on the edge of the bed since he didn't need it.**

 **Now fully dressed and ready to run into battle without injuring his foot – talk about embarrassing –**

"Hehe, Achilles." Apollo snickered.

 **Naruto climbed back out of his bunk and went towards the forge. As he planned, the first thing he did was drop his old Camp shirt into the fires and watched it burn.**

"Pyro in the making," Jason said.

Leo rolled his eyes. "It's not like he got off on it."

"Gross." Hazel blanched. That was too much information.

 **When it finished, he moved on to the next project in his mind; ammunition. He grabbed a bar of bronze and set out to make the two calibers he needed.**

 **A few hours passed and Naruto had made at least a hundred full metal jacket .45 bullets for his Colt and had just closed the fortieth twelve gauge round for his Winchester when the boy from before, Charles, walked into the forge with a few other children of Hephaestus behind him. As he heard them amble in, Naruto grabbed his bandanna from his pocket and tied it around his face. So he's sensitive about his scars, sue him.**

"Oh, nothing to fret over." Aphrodite grinned. He was shy, too? That's cute.

 **"Hey, who's that?" One kid 'whispered' to the others.**

"Kids can't whisper." Percy snickered. He stole a glance at Nico, who glared at him.

"I am death." He whispered darkly.

"Don't let Thanatos hear you say that." Hades told his son.

 **"Relax Sam. His name is Naruto," Charles said. He walked over to the blond, but backed off when Kurama looked up from where it laid next to its creator and growled at him.**

 **"Easy," Naruto said gruffly and dropped a small chunk of celestial bronze to the fox. The fox grabbed the chunk and began to gnaw on it. He turned away from the shell he finished and looked over the slightly shorter teen. "How'd you sleep, Charles?"**

 **"Call me Beckendorf," the head counselor said.**

 **Naruto shrugged. "You got it, bed and drawers."**

"…Why did we never think of that?" Percy blinked.

"Beckendorf was too imposing." Annabeth reminded him.

"Right."

 **"...On second thought, call me Charles." Charles rubbed his face while the other kids snickered. He gave them a stink eye, which made them stop snickering but couldn't stop the smiles on their faces, before he looked back at Naruto. "After you woke me up, I slept rather well. When'd you wake up?"**

 **"What time is it?"**

 **"Six."**

 **"Three hours ago," Naruto said. He turned back to his crafted bullets and hummed. "I need boxes to carry these...Kurama, fetch some small iron sheets. Don't eat them."**

 **The metal fox looked up from its treat of bronze and whined.**

"Hungry little killbot, isn't it?" Reyna commented, she'd rather deal with her dogs. They didn't need to teethe.

"I think it makes it more lifelike." Hephaestus argued.

"I wonder what else it eats." Ares chuckled darkly. He got some concerned looks.

 **Naruto rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that, you've got a chunk of bronze in front of you. Eat that when you're done."**

 **Kurama let out snort and got up. It slunk past the other members of the cabin, all of their eyes glued to the complex machinery that moved past them, and grabbed the items as requested.**

 **"Automaton?" Beckendorf asked.**

 **Naruto scoffed. "Please, no offense to Hephaestus, but Kurama is more advanced than a simple Automaton."**

"Ooh, name basis?" Leo winced. "That's harsh."

Hephaestus wrinkled his face a bit, but made nothing more about it.

 **"AI?" the lone girl of the group asked. "I'm Cassie, by the way."**

 **Naruto nodded at her. "Naruto. AI are too chatty. He's pretty much a really intelligent animal. Like a dolphin or an ape or something."**

"Ah, dolphins." Poseidon beamed, a sea god's best friend. Literally.

Athena snorted, owls were far smarter.

 **Kurama let out a dolphin's laugh as it brought back several sheets of iron as Naruto requested. The blond let out a snide chuckle and snatched the sheets from the machine's mouth. "Smartass."**

"I like it." Percy grinned, that was cool. Plus, free washing machine.

 **"What are the base components?" a boy, perhaps Sam that spoke earlier, asked. His fingers twitched and Naruto could see the plans form in every one of the kids' eyes.**

 **The blond smirked beneath his bandanna. "An old Sony radio, a Suzuki motorcycle and several household items." They all looked a bit upset that he didn't elaborate and he chuckled. "Yeah, no. Kurama's one of a kind."**

"Boo, tell us more!" Leo whined. He got a pat on the back from Jason.

 **"** ** _One of a kind!_** **" The Breaking Point lyric played from Kurama as he resumed to gnaw on his treat. Naruto reached down and patted the foxlike machine on the side.**

 **"Damn right, boy," Naruto said with a hidden smile. He looked up at the kids and amusement glistened in his eyes. "So, we going to continue with twenty questions or are we going to work?"**

 **"Just one last question," Charles said. "How old are you?"**

 **"Eighteen," Naruto said.**

"Plenty old." Leo looked impressed.

"Yeah for living long," Nico said dryly.

"Dude, you sound like the dead."

"…Percy so help me-!"

"Now, now," Hestia shushed them and gestured for Piper to continue.

 **That seemed to satisfy the kids and they scattered to different corners of the forge in order to begin their own projects. Naruto watched them all for a moment and then turned back to his project. "Cute kids. Give me some of Draiman's lyrics, Kurama."**

 **The fox let out a few clicks before the drums of heavy metal filled the cabin.**

"Of course, heavy metal," Apollo said flatly.

"It's good," The smith god said.

"I know, just, so cliché."

 **The other kids didn't seem to mind as they were all hard at work. Naruto grabbed a sheet of iron and started to measure out dimensions for an ammo box. He nodded along with the beat of the metal that blared from his fox's speakers and grabbed a welder's mask that had a white skull painted on the front of it.**

"He's got so many skulls and crossbones we might as well call him a pirate." Percy shook his head.

Reyna frowned. "I hate pirates."

 **He pulled out a saw and began to cut the iron to his measurements.**

 **About a half-hour later, Charles walked over to Naruto as he put the finishing touches on his second box. Naruto lifted the mask and looked at the younger counselor. "Can I help you?"**

 **"Actually, I have a question." At Naruto's brief nod, Charles hesitated, searching for words, before he spoke. "Well, is there any particular way you dismantled the radio or any specific parts you used?"**

 **Naruto stared at Charles for a second before he should his head. "To be honest, I was just working off my gut and instincts. Let the smith in me come out and take control. It's why I blare the metal, I get lost in the chaos."**

"I so feel you." Leo nodded as he held up his hands and looked at them. "I swear they have their own minds…I think they're conspiring against me!"

"Leo, you're hands are fine." Jason rolled his eyes.

"Lies! You know not what these devils have made me do!"

"Like pranking Hedge?"

"Yes! I was innocent!" Leo nodded swiftly, his proclamation got snorts of disbelief.

 **"Yeah, I noticed..." Charles rubbed the back of his neck. He lifted his other hand and showed off a green cube. "I, er, pulled myself out of a trance and found this cube of circuits and wires from different things put together. I don't know how I did it."**

 **"Instincts," Naruto said. He grabbed the cube without bothering to ask and looked it over. "Looks like Kurama's core. A bit larger. Thinking of anything in particular while you worked?"**

 **Charles swallowed and looked away slightly. "Uh, no one-nothing in particular."**

"Oh ho! What's this?" Aphrodite glimmered with glee.

"Duh." Annabeth smiled. "He had it so bad for Selina."

Aphrodite tittered.

 **Naruto arched a brow. So Charles had a crush, huh? Good for him. The blond, personally, didn't get girls. They were stranger than guys were, and Naruto knew plenty of strange guys.**

"Like father, like son." Ares snickered.

Hephaestus rolled his eyes.

 **Naruto let his eyes roam back to the cube in his hand. "Well, whatever you were thinking of is the core's purpose. I, personally, was thinking of a neighbor that had pet dogs I liked. Got the most loyal 'pet' out of it."**

"Hm," Leo rubbed his chin.

"I don't like that 'hm'." Piper mumbled.

Jason rubbed her shoulder. "If he tries anything, just charm him out of it."

 **Charles blinked and flushed lightly. "So, if I was thinking about a girl..."**

 **"Probably something mushy," Naruto said as he handed the cube back. "Don't really know how my stuff works, it just does what I want it to. Kind of like that mutant from X-Men."**

 **"Forge? You do know that character was based off of our father, right?"**

"Best character ever," Hephaestus said.

"Tony Stark." Leo pointed out.

"Hm, that's another one, but he doesn't have techno-powers."

"…This is true, but still! Ironman!"

The smith god rubbed his beard. "I think I have one of those somewhere."

 **"Whoopee. Let's send Marvel a 'thank you' note on his behalf," Naruto said dryly. He turned back to his ammo box and flipped his welder mask back down. "Listen, Charles, I'm not one for advice on girls. I'm still a friggin virgin for Christ's sake."**

"I am too." Thalia nodded with a grin.

"Get frustrated at night?"

"…I will char you, Valdez."

"It's a leginament – a laviginal...Never mind."

 **"Right..." Charles blinked, a bit surprised at the laidback announcement. "So, you've never had a girlfriend?"**

 **"Don't see the need for one right now," Naruto said shortly as he started his welding torch back up. "Maybe later."**

"Oh, it will be later all right..." The love goddess was already in plot mode if her smile was anything to go by.

"Aphrodite." Her 'husband' frowned. He didn't want her messing with one of his kids.

"What? All you need is love~"

"Everybody! All you need is-I'll shut up." Apollo was cowed by Artemis' glare.

 **"Okay...Thanks, Naruto," Charles said. Naruto grunted in return and the cabin counselor went back to his workstation.**

"Awkward." Piper summed up that scene.

"Insightful!" Aphrodite corrected with a grin.

 **When he was done with the ammo boxes and stored them in another subspace storage limb on Kurama. The blond lightly tapped the side of Kurama. "Get up. You're getting a tune up."**

 **Kurama let out a whine.**

 **"Oh don't give me that, it's been four months since your last one. And there's the scratch I still have to buff out," Naruto said.**

 **Kurama clicked in return before it stood up on all four legs. Several parts hissed before the left side of Kurama's body opened to reveal a complex, near biologically accurate but mechanical interior. Naruto crouched down next to the Killbot and pulled a flashlight from his back pouch. He heard several tools clatter to tables and rolled his eyes.**

"Eager to see under the hood." Frank chuckled.

"Who doesn't want to see it?" Leo grinned.

 **"Anyone tries to sneak a peek at his interior and I'll rip your eyes out." He didn't bother to turn around as he gave his warning.**

"That sounds…fair." Nico mused.

"And painful." Thalia added.

 **The six kids, compared to him anyway, immediately returned to their own duties. Content that his work wasn't going to copied directly – accidental or indirect duplication was acceptable to him – Naruto began to thoroughly look his pride and joy over.**

 **As he finished the wax job that would leave Kurama near spotless of any dirt, a horn sounded.**

"Food!" The demigods cheered. More appeared in front of them and they grabbed some snacks.

 **Naruto turned the buffer he used off and looked over to Charles. The head counselor looked at his other siblings with a lopsided smile.**

 **"You guys know what that means. Breakfast," he said. He set his welding torch and goggles down. "Let's go before Mr. D sends another harpy after us."**

"Ah, good times." Dionysus sighed with a small smile.

"Why is he allowed around children again?" Apollo asked.

"It's a punishment." Zeus claimed.

"He's failing at it." Athena said dryly.

"You obviously don't see how I suffer!" Mr. D huffed, sipping his diet coke.

 **A couple of the kids shudder while the other grumbled and put their own tools down. Naruto shook his head and set the wax buffer on his workbench. He looked at Kurama, the machine sparkled under his gaze, and smirked. "You're going to rub yourself into the dirt, aren't you?"**

 **Kurama just looked at him innocent eyes, or at least as innocent bright red lights could be.**

 **Naruto sighed and patted the fox on the head before he followed his cabin mates out. "Alright, well, don't stray too far and don't try to eat any satyrs."**

"…Must have one." Ares begged. He turned to the smith god. "Heph!"

"No."

"Oh come on!" Ares whined.

"No."

Ares crossed his arms and started to grumble like a brat.

 **Kurama barked indignantly.**

 **"I know it was five years ago, but still. The goats are everywhere here and I'm pretty sure the other campers wouldn't be happy if a satyr went missing," Naruto said dryly.**

"Yeah, not so much." Percy nodded.

"At least Grover isn't there." Thalia sighed.

Percy frowned. "No, he's got it worse."

"Oh, yeah." The hunter nodded.

 **He followed the other members of Cabin Nine to the dining pavilion and, despite the whispers of the other campers, had a rather nice time to himself as he did. Kurama even ran off at some time to rub himself into the ground and ruin the wax job that had taken Naruto twenty minutes to do.**

Reyna rolled her eyes. "Such a kind, loyal, and loving pet."

Hazel smiled lightly. "I think it's kind of cute."

 **Just before Naruto could sit down and enjoy breakfast, a throat was cleared. Naruto turned to the head table, where a man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and purple shoes sat. Dionysus, or Mr. D as he insisted the demigods call him, had his purple eyes locked on the son of Hephaestus and a small scowl on his face.**

"Charming as always Dionysus." Aphrodite frowned.

"Oh, I try. Truly I do," The wine god said sarcastically.

 **On his right was Chiron, his white flank as spotless as ever and his human torso covered in light armor. On the left was a man in an orange jumpsuit with the number 0001 on it.**

Percy glared at the image.

 **"Hello Mr. D," Naruto said as he approached the table. He turned to Chiron. "Morning Chiron."**

 **"Good morning, Naruto," Chiron said with a nod.**

 **The prisoner coughed into his fist. "Allow me to introduce myself to you, demigod-."**

 **"Don't care," Naruto said. He didn't want to give the dead king the satisfaction of having his attention.**

"Okay, second favorite Naruto." Percy grinned.

 **Instead, Naruto focused on the god that looked a tinge amused at the rebuttal to the prisoner. "Sorry I didn't come see you when I first got here. It was late and I know you don't like your naps interrupted. Wasn't really in the mood to be turned into a squirrel...again."**

"Oh, those were the days." Dionysus sighed. "I never get to do things after the first time."

"Because we scare you." Athena frowned at her brother. She still remembered when he had turned one of her sons into an owl. It was very upsetting.

"Psh, you wish." The wine god scoffed.

 **"So you did learn from that," Mr. D said with a smirk. He grew serious and opened a new can of Diet Coke. "May I ask why you have returned?"**

 **"Chiron issued a contract," Naruto said. The god turned to the centaur and Chiron crossed his arms.**

 **"A little going away gift to you, Mr. D," Chiron said with a wry smile.**

"Cheeky centaur." The party god muttered.

 **Mr. D did not share the sentiment. "Thank you, Chiron, for the wonderful 'gift'."**

 **"Think of it this way," Chiron said. "It'll save you from writing those ghastly 'sorry your kid died' letters."**

"Ugh, such a pain!" Mr. D complained. He got looks all around from the gods.

 **Mr. D hummed. "That's true. I may not care if they do or don't, but the parents' replies are rather rude. And I'm not allowed to turn them into vermin anymore, so they just pile up. Instead I have to wipe memories and you'd be surprised how angry some of the other Olympians can get when they're forgotten by past lovers."**

Dionysus whistled innocently while the gods glared at him.

 **"I'm sure they are," the prisoner said. He glared at Naruto, most likely for his rude behavior towards him. "So, boy, what makes you so special? I see you're a son of the crippled god."**

"You'd think he'd learn." Hephaestus frowned.

"He's already being punished, what does he have to lose?" Hades asked.

The smith god grunted.

 **Naruto blinked dryly at him and then turned to Mr. D. He threw a thumb at the prisoner. "Is he really the best you could scrap up for Chiron's job?"**

"Oh no, I was going for the worst. If I couldn't make you miserable, might as well get someone stupid to do it for me." Dionysus explained, being honest with his methods of madness for once.

"…How do you function?" Hermes asked.

Dionysus smirked at him and held his can up. "Diet coke!"

 **"Oh, Tantalus has all the qualities of an activities director," Mr. D said with a wry smile. His eyes twinkled in amusement when he glanced at Tantalus. Naruto arched a brow quizzically and followed the god's gaze. Tantalus was staring intently at a pancake set before him and swallowed down the drool that threatened to leave his mouth. A fork and knife were in his hands and he tried to cut the breakfast, but it rolled up and fled from his fork. When Tantalus tried to stab it, it stood upright.**

 **Naruto blinked at the sight and a smile cracked under his bandana. "I see what you mean."**

 **Mr. D looked back at the demigod and his smile left his face. "I'm done with you, Narnia. Back to Hephaestus' table."**

 **"Yes sir," Naruto said. He nodded to Chiron, who nodded back, and then, on a whim, snatched the pancake from Tantalus while he glared at it.**

"Bold!" Thalia grinned, she was starting to like this guy. A bit gruff and gloom, but hey, he was cool.

Aphrodite glanced at her. "Like the tough ones, Thalia?"

"Aphrodite..." Artemis warned.

"It's an innocent question!"

 **"Wh-You brat, give that back this instant!" Tantalus demanded.**

"You're right, D, he is an idiot." Apollo nodded.

"He gets it from his father." Hades smiled as Zeus glared at him.

 **Naruto tossed the pancake at the king, but it stopped midair and flew back to his hand.**

"The Pancake Force is strong in this one," Frank said in a deep voice.

 **A smirk appeared beneath Naruto's bandana. Oh yes, he was going to enjoy his time back at camp.**

 **"Off with you, Nana Cho. And worry not, Tantalus. Silenus, bring another plate for our new activities director!" Mr. D said as Naruto walked away and ripped part of the pancake off to slip into his mouth under his bandana. He sat down next to Cassie while she and the other members of his cabin looked at him in shock.**

 **"Naruto, do you know who that was?" she asked him softly.**

 **"Yes," Naruto said. He ripped more of the pancake off and put it in his mouth. "That was Hannibal the Cannibal."**

"Nice," Apollo grinned and high-fived Hermes for the awesome movie reference.

"Ick," Piper shivered. "Worst movie ever."

"Too much meat?"

"Quiet, Leo!"

 **While the other kids were a bit confused, a passing satyr heard him and laughed. "Nice one!"**

"And that's an awesome satyr, right there." Hermes pointed out.

 **"Who?" Charles asked.**

 **"Serial killer that ate his victims." Naruto waved it off. "You gotta see the movies."**

 **Breakfast continued, and Naruto occasionally slipped something under his bandana to eat. Other tables whispered and gossiped, mostly about the strange blond that joined Hephaestus' cabin that morning, or about what their plans for the day were. It was idyllic, and nostalgic in a way for Naruto.**

"Makes you feel the warm fuzzies." Frank nodded.

"You'd know fuzzy alright."

Frank glared at the grinning Leo and slumped his shoulders. "Walked into that one, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

 **Then, as expected, it went downhill.**

"It always does!" Percy complained. The Fates defiled even the sacred breakfast. Curse them!

 **Another horn blew and several campers rose from their seats. Mr. D hardly batted an eye and continued to discreetly goad Tantalus with food. Instead, Chiron took charge and looked over the campers, his eyes met Naruto's and the blond nodded. Naruto rose from his seat and ran towards the camp's boundary line.**

"First on the line, first to die. End of story." Ares bowed his head.

"So grim." Apollo frowned. "We hardly knew him. Heck, Perce hasn't even come in yet!"

"Yeah!" Percy nodded.

"Well there's one upside so far." Ares smirked.

 **He cupped the side of his covered face with his left hand. "Kurama!"**

 **The metal fox burst from the brush with a roar and ran up alongside him. There was a few clicks before the fox's back shifted up and two handguns shot from holsters built into it. Naruto caught them as they came down and turned the safeties off. He cocked the hammers back and kept his index fingers on the side of the triggers until he saw what he was up against.**

"Okay, that was movie action stuff right there." Leo whistled.

"Hmm..." Apollo rubbed his chin. "Always in the market for stunt doubles."

"We do all our own stunts already though," Percy said with a grin.

"Oh, nice one." The sun god snickered.

 **When he got to Half-Blood Hill, Naruto found a camper pinned by a large monkey-like creature, only it had no tail.**

"Planet of the Apes!" Frank gawked.

"Kill the furry little bastards!" Ares encouraged with a grin.

"The fall is coming." Artemis frowned.

"…Okay," Nico said in bewilderment and looked at Piper. "Hurry the hell the up and read."

 **Naruto lifted his left hand and took a shot that nailed the monster in the head, it fell to its side off of the demigod and turned to dust. While Kurama ran into the fray to take more of the monkey-like monsters out, Naruto stopped and offered his hand to the downed demigod.**

 **"Thanks," the boy said. He was about the same age as Charles and had honey blond hair and grey eyes. Athena's kid. "Who're you?"**

 **"Name's Naruto. Cabin Nine," Naruto said.**

 **"Malcolm. Cabin Six," Malcolm said in return. He picked up his dropped sword and looked at the weapons in Naruto's hand with a hint of distain. "Guns?"**

"Aw, boohoo! Is he going to bitch about it?" Ares mocked.

Athena glared at him. "There's nothing wrong with not liking guns."

 **Naruto arched a brow. "You're dissing the weapon that saved your life?"**

"Exactly!"

"Silence, Ares." The wisdom goddess frowned as she got a smile of mockery from her war-loving brother.

 **"No, but-"**

 **"Listen, kid, we can debate the morality of using mortal weapons as the son of a Greek deity later," Naruto said. He peered past Malcolm and lifted his right hand up. The gun within it fired and a monkey-like monster fell to the ground as it leapt at the same girl from the night before, Clarisse.**

"Saved from a monkey, a bull, and a cyclops." Percy ticked off his fingers.

Ares ground his teeth as he seethed.

 **She glared at him, but Naruto turned his attention to Malcolm. "What are they?"**

 **"Nesioi Satyrs," Malcolm said with a frown.**

"What?" Percy blinked. "There's monster satyrs?"

"Yep." Annabeth nodded.

"Huh, go figure."

 **Kid obviously didn't like guns.**

 **"...These things are satyrs?" Naruto asked. He turned and fired at another Nesioi that tried to get the jump on him.**

 **"Rare, island born," Malcolm said. "They don't usually come inland."**

"Of course _now_ they would come." Thalia huffed, stupid monkeys. Let it be said that she did not like Planet of the Apes. Gave her bad dreams as a kid.

 **"Huh, well, guess what? Today's our lucky day." Naruto turned and walked into the fray, calm as he put a hole in each satyr that leapt at him. Over their hoots and hollers, Naruto yelled. "Kurama! Unleash the wrath of Ares on these things! Activation code: Slaughter!"**

"Yay! Slaughter! My favorite adjective!"

"He knows what that means, right?" Hermes whispered to Athena.

"I doubt it." The wisdom goddess returned with a roll of her eyes.

 **Kurama stopped where it was before it shifted and changed. The sleek, slightly menacing fox curled up into a large ball and suddenly jutted bronze spikes out of its surface. With a few final clicks and whirrs, Kurama started to spin. Dirt was kicked up as it did before the death ball started to rip its way through the ground and shred any poor monster that got in its way.**

"Ball of Doom."

"Lame." Jason rejected Leo's name.

"Spikes of Anarchy?"

"Meh."

"Well, what do you got?"

"Beyball, like a Beyblade, but better."

"…Damn." Leo cursed. That was good.

 **Throughout all of this, Naruto continued to keep the Nesioi away from the boundary line while the other demigods recovered. There were a good couple dozen of them out of Kurama's range, so it kept Naruto busy for a few minutes. One managed to bite his arm before he shot it point blank in the head.**

 **"Ugly buggers," he said under his breath. Another jumped at him with its mouth open and he shoved the barrel of his colt into the orifice. "Say ah."**

"Bitches." Ares added with a grin.

 **Bang, one less Nesioi.**

 **They capitalized on Naruto when his clips ran out. Naruto spun his guns around and used them like blunt weapons to knock them away. When he had a few seconds, he ejected the clips and tucked his guns into the back of his belt. Naruto pulled two more clips out from the strap on his right thigh and slammed them into place. He pulled his guns back out and grinned beneath his bandana.**

 **"Round two."**

"Yippy yo kaya mother scratchers." Frank declared.

His father glared at him. "At least say it right!"

 **The skirmish lasted another five minutes before Kurama came to a stop and unrolled. Naruto emptied his clips and reloaded the handguns calmly, despite the feeling of eyes on him. When he finished, he tucked the two weapons into the back of his belt and flipped the safeties back on before he faced the armored demigods behind him.**

 **A golden brow arched up. "What're you all staring at?"**

 **"...Dude...can I get one of those?"**

"Colt classic." Hermes winked.

 **"Richard," Malcolm said to the boy.**

 **Richard shrugged. "What? That was awesome! And a lot easier than swinging a sword."**

"Why don't we use guns…or lasers?" Leo asked.

"Because of the days of old," Zeus said firmly.

"…Boo." Leo frowned.

"Didn't Cabin Six have them in their shed?" Piper asked.

"Yeah, but they kind of just sit there some times." Annabeth answered.

 **"Trust me, there's more skill in using a blade than shooting a gun," Naruto said. He ignored the quizzical looks he received and walked towards Kurama, who gathered the rewards dropped by the fuzzballs that attacked them. Once he reached the machine's side, Naruto patted it on the head. "Have fun?"**

 **Kurama barked and leaned into Naruto's hand. Naruto's eyes glistened in the same bliss Kurama displayed.**

"Oh, he gets off on the kill, too?" Ares asked eagerly.

"Oh boy." Hephaestus palmed his face.

 **"Yeah, and to think, this was just the first day," he said.**

 **Oh yes, Naruto was glad to be back at Camp.**

"Things just got real." Leo whistled.

"Oh yeah," Percy nodded, he wondered what was going to happen when he got into the story.

"Who's next?" Piper asked as she turned the page.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians**

 **Reading: Ruthless Aggression**

"Another one?" Percy asked as the screen changed to show the number three. He was a little irked now. "Seriously, how many Narutos are there?"

"What's it called?" Frank asked.

"Ruthless Aggression." Piper told him.

"Ares." The Olympians deduced dryly.

"Woo hoo!" The war god cheered. He pointed at the sole Canadian present. "Zhang, read, now!"

"Why me?"

"Because you're my kid, so do it."

Frank groaned as he took the book from Piper and started to read.

 **"Get him!"**

"And it's all downhill from here," Athena said.

"Bah! It's obviously a fight scene." Ares' grin widened. "An excellent way to start a chapter."

"I didn't know you knew the word 'excellent.'"

"Shh, violence is happening."

 **His bandaged fist slammed against a cheek. The punched man flew back and splintered a wooden table beneath his weight. The sole of his boot was driven into a gut and the sorry bastard that tried to grab him from behind stumbled back into the bar. He lifted his arm to block the attempted haymaker and shattered the attacker's nose with a straight.**

 **This was such a pain in the ass.**

 **"You son of a-!"**

 **A bottle was brought down on his head and shattered on the impact. He glared at the man that had doused him in cheap alcohol and broke a perfectly good bottle over his head.**

"That poor bottle." Dionysus wept.

 **He grabbed the jackass that broke the bottle by the front of his shirt and lifted him up over his head with both hands. He turned and tossed him at the steel pole that the night's stripper was supposed to use.**

 **All he wanted was a drink and some entertainment.**

 **"Grab this motherfucker!"**

"Bad words." Hazel shook his head.

 **A hand latched onto his arm and he grabbed it, crushing the bones in his grasp. He pulled the assailant closer and drove his shoulder into the pit of the assailant's. With a bit of force, there was a loud crack that was quickly followed by a scream. An impromptu judo toss had the man landing through another table.**

 **Now he was going to get blacklisted again.**

"I hate when that happens, then I gotta kill someone." Ares groaned.

"…So much is wrong with that statement." Apollo shook his head.

 **"Fuck you!"**

 **A chair smashed into his back and broke. That was irritating. He turned and grabbed the head of the bastard that smashed the chair into him. He reared his head back and brought it forward, his thick skull slammed into the man's own with a loud sickening crunch. Something broke, and it wasn't just the dumbass' nose.**

"Brain damage?" Nico asked.

Leo whistled. "Big time."

 **This would be the nineteenth strip bar he'd be banned from in this state. Shame, too. Some of these girls were hot. Worthy of being in Aphrodite's cabin, for sure.**

"Ugh, such a demeaning place." Artemis sneered.

"There are plenty of male strip joints." Apollo rolled his eyes. "Such a prude."

"I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult." Aphrodite gave a confused frown.

"Insult." Piper scowled. She did not want to be associated with a stripper in any way.

 **"C'mon tough guy, c'mon!"**

 **A knife slashed across his chest and cut a hole into his TapouT MMA shirt. Son of a bitch. His eyes flashed red and he grabbed the wrist of the man with the knife. His hand closed around it until bones splintered and the knife was dropped. He caught the knife, a switchblade of about maybe eight inches, and dropped the man with a sweep of his leg. He moved the broken wrist to rest above the man's head and stabbed the switchblade into the palm.**

"Ares' cabin everybody." Percy remarked dryly.

 **"Ahh! My hand!"**

 **Baby. That was nothing. Try having a hellhound's jaw digging into your shoulder. Or a black bear biting your arm. Or a fucking deer kicking you in the head when you're six years old. That shit hurt.**

"I know." Ares rubbed his chin as he glared at Artemis.

"You deserved it."

"I hit on your hunter one time!"

"Because you're pillow buddy told you to." The huntress scoffed while Aphrodite whistled innocently.

 **"Note to self." His voice was dry, he didn't even get to start his drink before these machismos jumped him. "Find a twelve point buck and kick it in the head. Then snap its neck."**

"He best not!" Artemis shouted.

"Do it!" Ares argued.

"Oh gods." Frank and Thalia groaned.

 **"Ahh! My hand!"**

 **Red eyes glared down at the whimpering guy pulling at the knife. He grabbed the man's head and slammed it hard into the floor. The baby was knocked out instantly.**

 **Something cold and metallic pressed against the back of his head, it felt like a small pipe, but he knew better. He lifted his arms in surrender when there was a click of a hammer being cocked.**

 **"Not so tough now, huh, blondie?" It was the guy he punched into a table earlier. Seems he really took offense to being called an 'inbred dumbass that couldn't tell when to leave well enough alone.' "You're gonna die tonight, you son of a bitch. I'm gonna blow your brains out."**

 **"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't call me that," he said, his hands still up in the air.**

 **"What? A son of a bitch? Well tell you what, you** ** _son of a bitch_** **, after I kill you. I'm gonna look your momma up and fuck her brains out like a** ** _real_** **man," the gunman said, a bit of pride in his words.**

"…Wow he is just asking for it." Frank blinked with wide eyes. If that had been him, the dude would be bear food.

"Fuck 'em up!"

"Ares!" Hera frowned at the scowling war god.

 **Wow, that's what? The eighth time he's heard some dumb bastard say that? Amazing how it always manages to piss him off, you would think he would have grown some thicker skin by now.**

 **Unfortunately for the gunman, he hadn't.**

 **He turned and grabbed the gun, a small six-shooter that looked smaller in the fat fucker's hand. He yanked it from the gunman's grasp before the trigger was pulled and turned it around. The gunman looked flabbergasted – if that was the right word, vocabulary was never his strong suit**

"Grunts are usually more common in his vocabulary." Athena mocked irritably.

"You're just pissy that mine's cooler than yours."

"You're delusional."

"Ares, Athena, settle down." Hestia told the two war deities.

– **and even a little afraid.**

 **Red eyes burned intensely and feral whisker-like markings pulled back as he growled. "You know, all I wanted was to drink a beer and watch some nice looking girl dance on the stage."**

 **He pressed the barrel of the still cocked gun against the onetime gunman's temple and watched sweat form. Whimpers, pleas escaped the wannabe tough guy, a thug that wanted to wave his dick around like it was the biggest one in the joint.**

"So Ares every Sunday?" Hermes asked.

"I don't wave it around the dinner table." Ares shook his head.

"Yeah, that's Friday's at the Cherry Bomb."

"Fuck you, Sunspot!"

 **Red eyes narrowed in disgust.**

 **"Did you just** ** _piss_** **yourself?"**

 **Sobs left the man.**

 **"Now I** ** _have_** **to kill you. That's just embarrassing...especially for a** ** _real_** **man like yourself."**

 **"Pl-pl-please no!"**

 **"No? But...aren't you a** ** _real_** **man?"**

"So…he should die like one?" Jason asked.

Ares nodded. "How the world works."

"He's deluded." Hera frowned.

 **"N-n-no! No! Please! I don't wanna die!"**

 **He tisked in disgust and moved the gun down to rest at the man's damp groin. "Don't wanna die, huh?"**

"That is evil." Percy gaped.

Ares grinned. "That means it's good, Jackson."

 **"No! NO!"**

 **Bang.**

 **The man shuddered and slumped to the ground, his eyes went to the hole in his thigh before he screamed.**

"Aw, he should've popped one." Ares whined.

"Ugh, gross." Frank grimaced as he turned the page.

"Shut up boy, you could learn something here."

Frank highly doubted that.

 **Red eyes rolled as they dimmed down from his anger to a cool blue. He dropped the gun on the counter and reached into his back pocket. A couple of fifty dollar bills were left for the cowering bartender.**

 **"That's for the damage." He grabbed an unopened, undamaged bottle from behind the counter and went to the exit. "Sorry for the trouble." He stopped at the door and looked at the wailing gunman. "Oh, and I'm not offended by being called a 'son of a bitch'. I'm a proud son of** ** _the_** **Bitch."**

"Aw, we feel the same." Ares smiled kindly at his mother.

"…I swear I will end you one day, Ares."

"Love ya too, Ma."

 **He left the strip bar and popped the cap off of his beer, taking a swig before he grimaced. He tossed the bottle to the side and walked over to his car, a '67 Pontiac GTO convertible. He pulled off his doused and ruined shirt. He tossed it into the back seat with a frown on his face. He really liked that shirt.**

 **The outline of the words were orange.**

"Yep, it's really Naruto." Piper sighed. Orange this, orange that, the identity of Naruto as a whole.

 **He turned the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the gravel filled drive. It wasn't until the tires hit asphalt that he floored it. He looked in the rearview mirror and gave himself a once over for injuries.**

 **Tanned skin was unblemished, unmarked, and except for the jagged feral whiskers on his cheeks – a reminder of his stupidity when he was a kid – there wasn't a scratch on him.**

"That's my boy!"

Frank had a pout on his face. This was so not cool.

Hazel just patted his shoulder consolingly.

 **His hair, however, usually blond and unruly, was now damp and smelled like cheap alcohol. Gross. To distract himself from his soon to be sticky head, he cranked up the volume of the radio, his head nodded to the hard rock that woke everyone in the vicinity.**

Thalia bobbed her head. "I can get behind this."

"That's what she said."

"Thalia, no!" Jason said. He held his sister back before she could kick Leo's teeth in.

Thalia struggled in her brother's arms. "I hate that joke!"

"I figured! Just relax! Leo, stop laughing!"

"I can't!" Leo chuckled more.

 **Not that there were a lot of people he could bother in the empty desert.**

 **Movement caught his eye and he barely managed to slam on the breaks as something swooped at him from the front. He ducked down and covered his head, shifting the gears and putting the car in park as he did. Something pressed down with a thump on his hood, and he looked up to see a girl, probably a few years younger than him, no more than seventeen but no less than fifteen, with a glistening silver arrow knocked on her silver bow.**

"A hunter?" Nico blinked.

 **"Thou art my target, gryphon! Come and face death as only prey can!"**

"Zoe." Percy and Thalia chuckled.

"Well, at least we know when this takes place." Artemis mumbled with a soft look.

 **The arrow shot from her bow with a twang and he turned to follow it. It tore through the black wings of the monster it was aimed at. A black mass fell from the sky and landed roughly off the side of the road. He arched a brow and looked back at the girl.**

 **"Nice shot."**

 **She aimed an arrow at him.**

"Wow, rude?" Piper asked.

 **Bitch much?**

"What?" Artemis frowned.

"It _is_ a bitch move." Aphrodite commented.

The huntress glared at her rival.

 **"Thou are lucky that my Lady requires me at camp." The girl scoffed as she lowered her bow and walked across the hood of his car – something that was extremely irksome**

"You know, I forget how much of a rude little brat she is." Apollo confessed, which got him a look from his twin, "Hey, truth god. I'm not going to lie here."

"Thank you Apollo~!" Aphrodite cheered with a smile.

"No prob."

Artemis scowled.

– **towards the fallen monster.**

 **"Camp? Uh, last I checked, Camp was forty something hundred miles...that-a-way," he said, pointing towards the northeast.**

 **The girl turned and glared at him for a moment before she returned to approaching the gryphon. She pinned it to the ground with another arrow. "Be happy thou are not my target,** ** _man_** **. I must hurry and hunt the rest of the pack before I return to my Lady."**

 **"...What, are you preparing for a role in a play?" He asked.**

"She would've done pretty good." Percy snickered as Thalia could barely hold back her own laughter.

 **He opened his car door and stepped out to look the vehicle over while his rock continued to blast.**

 **"Turn that trash off!"**

 **He looked up at the girl's cry with a scowl. Now she was dissing his music? Oh, no. Fuck** ** _that_** **shit.**

Ares cheered. "Fuck her up!"

"He best not!" Artemis thundered.

"Nightshade needs her peg knocked down. I understand you're all for girl power, Artemis, I am as well. But she was a on such a high horse." Athena commented. "A humbling would have done her some good. You tend to spoil your hunters."

Artemis colored at her own sister betraying her on this.

 **"Listen,** ** _bitch_** **," he said with a growl as he stormed around the hood of his car towards her. She had gained her own face of fury for the derogatory term he used. It was actually kind of cute, but he couldn't really appreciate that at the moment.**

"What's this?" Aphrodite tilted her head, a smile gracing her lips.

Artemis frowned. "Never going to happen."

"Now, now, this _is_ Naruto after all. Even if he's Ares."

"Yeah! Wait, what's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing." Aphrodite waved the question off with a smile while Artemis looked worried.

 **"You were chasing a monster, I can deal with you running on my ride. You're a Hunter, so I can deal with you dissing** ** _me_** **because of my gender. But you don't ever, and I fucking mean** ** _ever_** **, diss my tunes."**

"Really not cool." Apollo frowned.

 **"What does thou plan to do about it,** ** _man_** **?" Amazing how a general term for a human's sex could sound worse than a slur.**

Thalia rubbed her face. "It still amazes me that a lot of the hunters think it is one."

"I am so glad you aren't a femnazi." Jason told her.

"Trust me, I'll never be that bad."

Leo snorted. "The dark glare you gave me begs to differ."

"What was that, elf boy?"

"Nothing!"

 **"I'm going to break that pretty bow of yours over your head."**

 **Her black eyes narrowed and the 'pretty bow' was aimed at him with an arrow at the ready. "I'd like to see thou try it."**

 **He growled and reached into his pockets with both hands, a set of brass knuckles slipped around his fingers before he pulled his fists out. Red eyes glared into hard black, their forms illuminated by the light of Artemis' moon.**

 **She released the bow and he ducked under the arrow. The sound of glass shattering made him realize that she'd hit his car.** ** _Fucker_** **!**

"Now's she's just asking for a spanking."

"Phrasing!" Aphrodite tittered at Ares' words.

Artemis looked ready to explode at the couple.

 **"Enyo!" He cried as he swung a right cross at her head and bronze gauntlets with spiked knuckles suddenly covered his hands. Faces of pained men howled on the back of his hands as she avoided his punch. The wails made the girl to cover her ears and roll away, more distance now between them.**

"Scream gauntlets? That's…intriguing." Hephaestus confessed with a touch of interest.

"For close range that's devastating one on one combat." Annabeth looked impressed.

 **He started to turn in order to face her properly, one didn't put their back to an enemy, but turned and swung with a powerful left cross at the monster that leapt at him. The spiked knuckles shattered the gryphon's beak and the power behind his punch snapped the gryphon's neck. The black panther-like body crumpled to the ground, the wings twitched once before it dissolved to dust.**

"He's got some muscle, whoa." Leo blinked and gave Frank a quick look of worry.

 **"Some Hunter." He couldn't help it, he felt like it had to be said. Call it the war god in him. The Master Antagonizer's voice was always barking demands in his ear.**

Frank suddenly felt kinship at once with this Naruto.

"Talk about a…head case." Hermes grinned, "Eh? Eh?"

"Meh." Percy told him.

"You kids just don't get good comedy." The messenger god frowned.

 **Occasionally, the god's favorite 'poem' chanted in his head.**

 **"** ** _Whenever you fight, you better always win! Cause the second you don't, I'm gonna kick yer head in!_** **"**

"My greatest quote." Ares nodded.

Frank looked at his friends and mouthed, 'Help me.'

 **Let it be known that Ares was not the 'father of the year'. Then again, it could be said that no god would ever hold that title. Personally, he couldn't give two shits if one did or didn't. He lived by his father's words, the motto of Cabin Five. It was a kill or be killed world he lived in.**

 **And he fucking loved every second of it.**

"USA! USA!" Ares whooped.

 **Even when the arrow was shot into his ass.**

"I think that's an Artemisism for a proposal."

"It is not!" Artemis colored greatly at that while the gods snickered or laughed. Or fumed in Zeus' case.

 **"Ow! Fuck! Take a joke, bitch!"**

 **"Thou are lucky I didn't aim for thy head!" The Hunter's glare only built onto his anger while he pried the arrow out of his ass. That was the fifth time that happened to him. Stupid arrows.**

"Maybe it's because you have too big of a butt." Leo smirked.

"Hey." Frank frowned.

"I wasn't sniping at you, dude."

"…Better not."

 **"Like you'd hit it," he said scathingly as he looked the arrow over. He held it out with a smirk. "Here, something to remember me by."**

 **The Hunter sneered at him. "Pig."**

 **"I'd love some, but all I've got on me is dried beer." He tossed the arrow behind him uncaringly and grunted as he walked back to his car.**

 **"Thou are disgusting."**

 **"And you're a bitch, so I guess we're even."**

"Zoe really was the princess of Mount Bitchdum." Apollo confirmed.

"No she wasn't!"

"She was kind of forceful, Lady Artemis." Thalia told her. She couldn't lie, while Zoe was a good person, rest her spirit in the stars. She just had the ability to rub people the wrong way…like a child of Ares.

 **He bent over the passenger door and reached into the glove compartment to grab some nectar he kept in case he ever got injured. The gauntlets on his hands disappeared and returned to their hidden brass knuckle form. He popped the top off the bottle and grabbed his ruined shirt. Thank Olympus he took that Field Medic training Chiron offered. It made recovering from embarrassing injuries so much easier. He dampened the fabric with nectar before he put the top back on the bottle.**

 **"Thy...Thou art...I should kill thee!"**

"Someone's at a loss words." Piper smirked.

"She got angry rather quick." Thalia shook her head.

 **"Better women than you have tried. Most were better shots, too." He snickered at the aggravated growl the Hunter released. Ah, this one had to be a veteran if she wasn't already filling him full of arrows. He'd never seen her when the Hunters of Artemis were at camp, or if he did, he certainly didn't recognize her.**

"…How could he not? The tiara gives it away." Percy pointed at Thalia's head. "It's like a beacon."

"It is not." Thalia frowned at him.

"I think it looks nice," Jason said.

"Stop being a suck up, Jay."

 **He sighed as he applied the nectar soaked fabric to the bleeding hole in his ass. Chalk up another boon to being a demigod – he got to heal himself before it got too painful or the adrenaline wore off. Mortals could suck his fat one, being a demigod kicked ass.**

 **"So, what brings a Bitchy Hunter to the Middle of Fuckin' Nowhere, USA?"**

"Such language." Hestia frowned.

"And I have to read it." Frank sighed.

Ares glared at him. "Just read, boy."

 **He turned and pressed the nectar and alcohol soaked fabric into the wound as he leaned against his car with his arms crossed over his bare chest. Huh, starting to get cold. Must almost be two in the morning if he was getting goose bumps.**

 **The Hunter's eye twitched and her jaw clenched. She crossed her arms and huffed. "What reason should thy get? I am better off killing thee for the planet."**

"I bet she's done it before," Nico said scathingly.

Artemis didn't retort to that one.

 **"I should give you my name for the tombstone then. Name's Naruto. Spelled like this." Naruto tapped on his left shoulder, where the kanji for his name was inked into his arm.**

 **"Nah-rue-toe. What sort of nonsense is that?" The Hunter scoffed. She stuck her slightly upturned nose into the air. "Sounds like an oriental name. Thou are not from the orient."**

"Wow, racist?" Frank asked with a frown. He took serious offense to that.

"He got more my looks. Bitch~!" Ares sang.

Artemis looked like she wanted to club him with her bow.

 **"Says you. It means 'maelstrom'," Naruto said with a smirk. "Maelstrom of kick ass."**

 **The Hunter rolled her eyes. "Thou are no different than any other** ** _man_** **."**

"She makes it sound like we all came from the same place." Leo rolled his eyes.

"That's up for debate." Thalia smirked at him.

"Chica, you so cold. I need a snuggy to warm up."

 **"Oh, believe me, sweetheart. I'm plenty different from other men." The Hunter gave him a look of disgust and Naruto responded with a blown kiss. She opened her mouth to retort, but the sound of a shrieking roar cut her off. The two looked up and Naruto grinned as his eyes flashed red at the sight of several more gryphons. "Well, well...friends of yours, Sweetheart?"**

 **"Do** ** _not_** **call me 'sweetheart', Pig!"**

"I want bacon now." Ares frowned. "Seriously, can she came up with a better insult? My kids could do way better."

"No, she can't." Thalia snickered.

 **The Hunter snarled at him and she drew an arrow back. It flew up at the gryphons at a great speed, but the black furred and feathered monsters easily avoided it. The Hunter cursed. "I hadn't thought the nestlings would've grown so quickly so far south."**

 **"Who cares how fast they grew? They want a fight and they got it!" Naruto ran away from his car – he really didn't want to go through the trouble of stealing another muscle car – and grinned as several branched from the flock...or was it pack? Whatever, they were chasing him and that's all that mattered.**

 **Naruto turned and faced the gryphons with his right fist brought back. His eyes gleamed an excited red that burned more intensely than the gryphon's own. "Come on, birdy! You want some? Come get some!"**

 **"Do not taunt them, fool!" The Hunter yelled after him as she staved off the three that flew circles around her. She had some neat moves with those hunting knives of hers.**

"She was one of the best." Artemis sighed out.

"I think I could've taken her," Thalia said.

"I think you just wanted to fix your bruised ego." Percy commented, earning an irked look from Thalia.

 **"Enyo!" Naruto threw his right fist forward seconds before the gryphon's raven-like talons could reach out to grab him. Like the last gryphon, Naruto's gauntlet covered hand won out over the beak and neck. The black beak cracked and splintered from the spikes in Naruto's gauntlet. The head was forced down, driven into the dirt while the kinetic speed forced Naruto back several feet.**

"Mega Punch?" Nico looked impressed.

"Seems so," Hazel said. She wondered if Frank could do that and her cheeks colored. That would be sort of cool.

 **He grinned and looked at the other two gryphons that roared at him as they flapped their wings.**

 **"C'mon then...Let's dance!"**

 **Naruto turned at the hip with his right hand over his shoulder, fingers curled into a fist. His red eyes narrowed and he coiled up just a bit further. He wasn't a son of Athena, but he knew that speed plus strength equaled a whole** ** _lot_** **of pain.**

"He's a real genius."

"…You did not just say that." Athena frowned at her war-loving brother.

 **And much like a compressed spring being released gave off a lot of force, Naruto's spinning backfist punch sent the gryphon soaring back the way it came.**

 **He even gave a smirk to the Hunter after his gryphon collided into one of hers.**

"Oh, he's playing with fire now." Percy chuckled.

"Hey." Leo frowned. "That's my line dude."

"Sorry, but I'm not sorry."

Leo just glared at the son of Poseidon.

 **Another shrieking roar had Naruto turn to the side, where the third gryphon of his group had decided to stop flying and tried to pounce on him. Naruto caught the talons in his hands and fell back. He drove his boots into the gryphon's stomach and flipped the hybrid monster over him to land on its back and wings. Naruto reared his legs over his head and kipped up, a rather useful ability he learned from his time in camp.**

"Next, Kung-Fu one-oh-one." Annabeth bowed her head.

"Yes Grandmaster Chase." Piper bowed her head, leading the girls to laugh.

"I'd be interested in that." Reyna smirked at the two, one that Annabeth returned while Piper started to sweat a bit.

 **Naruto faced the gryphon as it got back to its feet and the two began to circle each other. Naruto kept his hands out wide while the gryphon hissed and brought its wings up to appear larger. Naruto bared his teeth and snarled back at it. He was an instinctive fighter at heart, so it was easy to perform the "I'm a scarier predator than you are" dance.**

Percy cocked his head. "Huh, so that's what that look means."

"Mars' kids have it, too," Jason said. He gained a perplexed look. "Not Frank, though."

The muscle bound teenager shrugged. "I don't see the need for it."

 **The gryphon lost its patience first and leapt at him. Naruto brought his fist back at the ready, his other arm up to catch the monster's weight.**

 **He was severely disappointed when the gryphon exploded into dust before it hit him.**

 **Naruto glared sourly at the Hunter, her smirk proud and haughty as she lowered her bow.**

 **"Thou are welcome," she said.**

 **Naruto's glare didn't let up, even though his red eyes turned back to blue. "You bitch. That was** ** _my_** **kill!"**

"First come, first serve." Artemis sniffed. Such a rude boy.

 **"That is thy problem, not mine." The Hunter smirked at him once more before she began to collect the trophies the gryphons left behind. Black fur pelts with feathers in them. What a lame reward, why not a golden egg? Naruto wouldn't mind raising his own gryphon.**

"That is so hard to do, greedy little things," Apollo said. "Like shiny stuff too much. They wouldn't lay off me!"

Hermes chuckled. "That was a fun day."

 **Naruto grabbed the pelts of the gryphons and threw them over his shoulder. He carried them back to the Hunter and tossed them into her arms. She stumbled from the added weight and glared at him as he crossed his arms.**

 **"There you go, Sweetheart. Don't say I never got you nothing," Naruto said with a smirk. He walked back towards his car, only to stop and stare in disbelief. Silver arrows lined the entire left side of his car, the two tires flat and long deflated. Even the poor car scent dispenser had not been spared.**

"…Okay, uber bitchy." Apollo frowned, earning a glare from his twin. "No, seriously, that is! If you ever did that to my ride, I would seriously be pissed at you and not in a joking way."

 **Naruto rounded on the Hunter with murder in his eyes. "Do you know what you've done?"**

 **"What? Did something happen to thy automobile?" she asked innocently. The smirk on her face killed the fantasy of any real remorse he thought she might have had. "What a shame. Perhaps thee should ensure it isn't in the way of crossfire next time thee gets into a fight."**

"Skin her."

"I agree!" Aphrodite cheered on her angered boyfriend.

"I doubt he could." Artemis scoffed.

 **Naruto lifted his hands menacingly, as though he was going to strangle her, before he brought them down to his sides and seethed. "You...Fucking...Bitch."**

 **The Hunter glared at him and dropped the pelts. She stormed up to him and, before he could lift his arms, punched him square in the nose with a solid left punch. Naruto's head flew back and he grunted as he lost his footing. His head and recently healed ass hit the pavement, which elected a strangled yowl that he managed to choke down. Naruto held a hand over his nose and grunted when a silver boot stomped onto his stomach.**

 **"Stop!"**

 **Stomp.**

 **"Calling!"**

 **Stomp.**

 **"Me!"**

 **Stomp.**

 **"A!"**

 **Stomp.**

 **"Bitch!"**

"…Bitch."

"Evan you're son isn't that stupid." Athena chuckled as she enjoyed the sight.

Thalia shook her head. "Zoe did have poor people skills."

"He deserved it." Artemis huffed.

Thalia just shrugged, Zoe sort of started it.

 **The Hunter huffed and gave him a final kick to the side before she stormed back over to the pelts she had dropped. Naruto groaned and rolled onto his uninjured side. He snorted blood from his nose and forced it back into place with a grunt before he got up and glared at the retreating Hunter. Naruto turned, reached into his car, and grabbed the bottle of nectar.**

 **"God...fucking dammit." Naruto threw the cracked bottle at the ground, shattering the empty bottle on the street. He sent another glare to the Hunter and debated whether or not he should try to kill her.**

"Not worth it," Percy said.

"I think she could use a slap." Piper frowned.

"Why?" Annabeth asked as Aphrodite beamed at her baby.

"She's just so rude. I get that you guys are supposed to hate men. But acting like a child about it? It's…juvenile." Piper explained.

"Well, they do stay as little girls for the rest of their lives. So, immaturity is sort of going to happen," Jason said.

"Little girls?" Thalia frowned.

Artemis looked irked by that logic. And coming from one of Aphrodite's daughters made it hurt even more.

 **Deciding that it wasn't worth Artemis' wrath to get into another fight with the bitch, Naruto wrapped his arm around his side, to steady his cracked ribs, and began to hobble off towards his current home. His grandmother was going to throw another fit when she saw him stumble back into his house, covered in blood. Again.**

"Who'd ya kill this time? Nobody granny!" Leo said with a chuckle.

 **"Where dost thou think thee are going?"**

 **"Oh, what the fuck do you want now!?" Naruto roared as he rounded on the Hunter. She was carrying the pelts over her left shoulder and her bow was nowhere in sight. A glare was still on her face and it took all the self-control he had – which was not a lot – to not punch her** ** _back_** **. "You wanna kill me? You wanna keep fighting? Because those are the only reasons I can think of that would make you want to talk to me!"**

 **The Hunter rolled her eyes. "If I didn't have to speak with thou, believe me I wouldn't. However..." She shifted uncomfortably. "Thou art the only demigod around and thou is sure to have more nectar and ambrosia at thy home."**

"Ooo." Aphrodite smiled. "Miss High and Mighty got an ouchie?"

"Stop that." Artemis frowned.

"Stop what? That your girls aren't perfect?"

"Enough, ladies, please?" Hestia asked tiredly. The two goddess' huffed at each other, but did stop their bickering.

" **What? You don't have any? Bullshit." Naruto snorted in disbelief, ignoring the pain in his shattered nose. He watched the Hunter as an uncomfortable grimace crossed her face. An amused, yet annoyed, smirk crossed his face. "No fucking way."**

 **"Be silent."**

 **"You don't have any nectar or ambrosia?" Naruto chuckled. His chuckling turned into pained laughter. "Oh, ho, it hurts to laugh."**

"But it's the best kind of laugh." Ares chuckled.

"I thought Zoe's motto was to always be prepared." Thalia knitted her brow.

"Isn't that the Boy Scouts?" Percy innocently asked.

The hunter laughed dryly, but still smirked since it was a decent joke.

 **"Cease thy amusement!" The Hunter snarled. She grimaced and shifted her right shoulder. Naruto glanced at it and saw a deep gash, a piece of cloth was tied over the wound but it had already bled through.**

 **Naruto grimaced as he debated his next move. On one hand, he did what his father's instincts were telling him to do and to leave the bitch high and dry,**

"Ares approved," The war god said with two thumbs up.

 **but risked Artemis' wrath if he did so.**

"Fear the jackalopes," Artemis said coldly.

 **On the other hand, he risked his father's wrath if he tried to help the girl. Weighing the odds in his head, eventually even the voice that sounded like Ares started to tell him that Artemis was** ** _much_** **more frightening than the god of war.**

"Smart boy." The huntress smirked.

"I beg to differ, but in this case…it would seem so." Athena agreed.

"Damn brat." Ares grunted.

 **Naruto turned and resumed his trek home. He got several feet before he stopped and glared over his shoulder at the Hunter. "You coming or what?"**

 **The Hunter scowled back at him before she quickly caught up to him. They walked in silence for the next two miles until they made it into the small town that he called home in Macary, Texas.**

"Hey-o to my peeps!" Leo waved.

 **"Where are the people?" The Hunter asked as they walked through the town square. "I thought the entire country had been populated by man."**

 **"Like I said, Sweetheart," Naruto said with a small bitter smile as he led the Hunter towards his home. "Middle of Fucking Nowhere, USA. We got bars, cars, farms and tars...and that's it. Maybe two hundred people in this town. Couple dozen out in the farms. And there's the Macary family, owners of the town property."**

 **The Hunter scowled at him. "Thou will not address me as 'sweetheart'."**

 **"Well you haven't really given me anything else to call you, Sweetheart. It's either that or bi-"**

"Sweetheart sounds lovely, even if it's wasted on that uppity Nightshade." Aphrodite sniffed in distaste.

 **"If thou finishes that sentence, thou will know the pain Zeus felt when his sinews were torn from him."**

Zeus blanched. He still had nightmares about that.

"Gross." Percy wrinkled his nose.

 **"Point taken, but you still haven't told me your name." Naruto pointed out.**

 **The Hunter's scowl became more prominent as she thought about telling a male her name. "I am Zoë Nightshade, Lieutenant of Lady Artemis' Hunters."**

 **"...Nightshade?" Naruto asked, amused. He shook his head as he pushed the door to a two-story house open. "And you say my name is weird." He walked into the house. "I'm back!"**

 **"Thy name** ** _is_** **strange." Zoë said with a glower. She followed him into the entry hall and through the small living room to the kitchen. There was shuffling above them, which made Zoë look up. "Thou does not live alone?"**

"He's got a sweet as a button granny." Leo declared.

 **"You've got to learn how to speak English,"**

"I tried to tell her that." Thalia shook her head.

 **Naruto said as he stumbled into the kitchen. He winced as he reached up into a cabinet and began to look around. "Oh, come the fuck on...Stupid fuckin' old people. Stop messing with the layouts. Putting more fucking medication in the fucking cabinet. God damn, drug addicted motherfucking..."**

 **Zoë scowled at him. "Thy mouth needs a cleansing with a fresh bar of soap."**

"That's long winded, but I agree with her." Hestia nodded sternly.

 **"Bite me." Naruto shot back. He grinned when he pulled his hand back and held a plastic bag of ambrosia. "Score."**

 **Naruto set the bag on the ground and opened it up. Before he could pull a cube out, he froze when footsteps stomped down the stairs. Naruto closed the bag and shoved it back into the cabinet.**

 **"NARUTO! Do you have any fucking idea of what time it is, you dumb piece of shit?!"**

"Real sweet, huh, Leo?" Piper asked.

Leo just shrugged.

 **Zoë's mouth was agape at the language while Naruto hurriedly grabbed more modern medication and pulled it out. He paused for a moment before he slapped the pelts off of Zoë's shoulder. The Hunter glared at him, but Naruto ignored it as he tucked his brass knuckles into his pockets and then fumbled with the painkillers lid.**

 **"Just what the fucking Hell do you think you're doing at this hour, Goddammit?" Naruto turned to look at the old woman that stood in the doorway. Her hair was a platinum blonde, once a beautiful shade like his own but now far less so. She smelled like an old folks' home, a hospital, and alcohol. Her honey brown eyes narrowed in suspicion and her hand tightened around the handle of her cane. "Are you trying to steal from your Granny again?"**

"…No," The demigods said. They did not like the look of that cane.

 **"No, Granny Tsunade." Naruto rolled his eyes and set the bottle painkillers on the counter. "Go back to sleep, you stupid old hag."**

 **"Back to sleep? Oh, no, dipshit, I'm up now!" Granny Tsunade did a double take when she saw Zoë. She turned back and glared at Naruto. "And who the fuck is she?"**

 **"Uh...Who?"**

 **The old woman's cane came down and nearly cracked Naruto's skull open.**

 **"Ow! You fucking, crazy old bitch!" Naruto whimpered as he held his abused skull.**

 **Granny Tsunade scowled at him and wagged her cane threateningly. "Lying to your own grandmother! Your mother must be getting a noose ready in her cell!"**

"Ninja waifu is in jail?!" Apollo thundered. He glared at Ares. "This is your fault!"

"It's always my fault! That's bullshit, man!"

 **Naruto glared at the old woman. "Stupid old hag."**

 **"Ungrateful little shit." Granny Tsunade glared right back before she looked at the other occupant of the kitchen. "Well? Speak up, girl! Who are you?"**

 **"Z-Zoë Nightshade, ma'am." Naruto smirked at the Hunter's apprehension. No one fucked with Granny Tsunade, not even Ares.**

The war god blinked, "What?"

 **And he tried to. The God of War wound up chewing on his bike's handlebars.**

"…Wow, to a granny Ares, just…wow." Apollo bit his fist as Hermes fell out of his throne in laughter.

"That's just sad. I feel shame for you." Athena remarked with a quirked lip.

Ares gnashed his teeth at them as he seethed.

 **"Nightshade? The hell kind of name is that? You an Indian?" Granny Tsunade inquired, squinting her eyes as she looked over the girl.**

"Racist." Piper frowned.

 **"They're called Native American, you dumb old hag." Naruto grumbled as he got back to his feet. He sucked in air when the cane was whacked against his cracked rib. "Gah! Sadistic old bitch!"**

"That is evil." Percy shuddered. He was glad his mom never did that to him.

 **"Stop being a rude little shit! Don't you know that you gotta watch your mouth when there's a lady in the house?" Granny Tsunade scolded with another whack from her cane. "And the sheriff called! I thought I told you to stop! Getting! Into! Fights!"**

 **"Fuck! Ow! Senile! Crazy! Ow! Bitch! I! Didn't! Shit! Start! It!" Naruto shot back as he tried to protect himself from her cane.**

 **"You did something!" Granny Tsunade scowled at the blond young adult as she stopped her assault and then looked back at Zoë. She noticed the wound on her shoulder and rounded on Naruto. Her eyes were harder than steel, but ablaze with rage. "Did you cut this girl, boy?"**

"He wished somewhat." Percy snarked.

 **Naruto's eyes went wide and color left his skin. He may have** ** _tried_** **to fight Zoë earlier, but he was running off adrenaline and anger. Clear headed, he'd never get into a physical fight with any girl without any witnesses. What Granny Tsunade would do to him if she found out he ever did...Naruto's skin paled even faster as he shook his head. "N-no, ma'am."**

"I love that look." Hera smiled.

"You do it all the time." Ares muttered with a shiver.

 **"Then why is she bleeding?" Granny Tsunade's eyes were murderous.**

 **"Car accident!" Naruto blurted out before Zoë could speak. "We-we, uh, got into a car accident. My fault. I should've watched where I was going."**

"It was the girl's fault." Leo snorted. "Jumping on a dude's ride? Not cool."

 **Granny Tsunade's cane struck his cracked rib again and she nodded firmly while Naruto crumpled to the ground, shuddering in pain. "Damn right." The old woman turned and gave a soft smile to Zoë. "Come along dear, I'll get that looked at and fix it up in a jiffy."**

 **Zoë tried to pull away as Granny Tsunade grabbed her arm. "Oh, no, thank you, but I just need some amb-"**

 **"Amber, she just needs some amber," Naruto said quickly, shooting the Hunter a 'shut up or else' glare. He cradled his rib as he got to his feet once more. Granny Tsunade's eyes were on him like a hawk. "Blood loss has made her delusional. She's speaking with 'thy' and 'thou' and 'thee'."**

"She hit her head." Thalia laughed. "That's a good one."

 **"I am not delusional, thou art-!" Zoë began, only to be cut off by a cluck of Granny Tsunade's tongue.**

 **"Probably some head trauma. Come along, dear. I'll show you to the couch. Naruto! Get yourself cleaned up and get some clothes for our guest." Granny Tsunade ordered as she led Zoë into the other room.**

 **Naruto scowled and matched Zoë's glare when it was sent his way. It wasn't like he wanted the stupid bitch of a Hunter to stay in his home either.**

"It's clearly a violation of her oath. Oh well." the love goddess sighed. "Looks like you'll have to make her another furry Artemis."

"I do not turn people into furries!"

"Sure you don't."

 **"Naruto, get your ass moving!"**

 **"Yes, Granny Tsunade!"**

 **Then again, it wasn't like he was going to argue about it. Naruto groaned as he went to the back toward his room to grab some spare clothes. He frowned as he walked past a hanging portrait of a red-haired woman in military fatigues standing behind a blond boy with a swollen black eye, both smiling at the camera.**

"Wait, Waifu is in the army…so why is Waifu in jail?" Apollo thought aloud.

"…POW?" Frank surmised with a big frown.

"Nailed it." Ares scowled deeply, that was the part of war he actually hated deeply.

 **All he wanted to do tonight was have a drink and get some entertainment.**

 **Stupid Hunter.**

"Got that right," Nico said scathingly. Thalia gave him a look, but his glance just dared her to say something.

Frank flopped the book down. "Done."

Hazel patted his shoulder with a small smile, one he returned.

"I think they'd be a cute couple." Aphrodite hummed. A coy smile spread across her face. "Zaruto~"

"Never!" Artemis screamed.

"Never say never~!"

* * *

 **Sorry for the wait guys, been doing other stuff. My daughter of Hades fic it out if you want to check it. My reboot/rewrite of TETW too!  
**

 **Have an awesome Friday!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **Reading: Fearless**

"So, who reads now?" Jason asked as he picked up the discarded book. He was not all that eager to start the next one.

"I will." Reyna took the book from her eager friend with a shake of her head. "Honestly, these are merely stories, I don't see why you're all so worked up."

"Stories about alternate _universes_ , chica." Leo corrected. He crossed his arms. "Some of these alternate Narutos are making us look bad. Like Apollo's Naruto."

Percy glowered. He disliked Apollo's Naruto. The guy was a dick.

"Oh, thanks for that reminder..." Apollo grumbled with a pout, since it was his fault that story had vanished. He just wanted to see the epilogue, was that so wrong?

"Hurry up and read before they start to argue," Thalia said. She hoped this wasn't the Zeus' Naruto one. Talk about weird. Thankfully there wouldn't be an Apollo Naruto. That would be so embarrassing!

Reyna nodded. "Of course. Hm...This one is called 'Fearless'."

Hades snorted. There was no such thing, so already his interest had dwindled.

 **Fear.**

Hades looked interested now at the word being singled out.

 **It's something that drives humanity, though they try to ignore it. Humans work around fear. They think that they don't need it. Many argue otherwise, that fear is a survival skill. But if that were the case, why is it still needed when humanity is the dominant predator? Why does the top of the food chain need survival skills? Because humanity knows, deep down, that there's something out there to be afraid of.**

"Hi." Hermes waved cheerfully. "We can kill you all!"

Athena frowned. "How he does that with a straight face, I will never know."

 **And they're right. For in the shadows, in every nook and cranny, something watches humanity. They search for something hiding among the humans. Waiting for an opportunity to strike at their prey.**

 **The prey being Demigods.**

"Just a bunch of innocent kids," Percy said.

 **The result of humans consorting with Gods, the Greek Olympians to be precise, are known as demigods. This isn't new information, but the fact that they continue to exist even to today is. Many famous people in history were children of the gods. George Washington was a son of Athena, the abolitionist Harriet Tubman was a daughter of Hermes, and Adolf Hitler was a son of Hades.**

"Ugh, can you stop throwing that in my face?" The underworld king huffed.

 **These are just a few of the many who had influenced history.**

 **There is one Olympian that has not born a son or daughter, well two, but technically Hestia is no longer an Olympian (by choice mind you). The Goddess of the Hunt, Artemis, much unlike her twin Apollo, has not had a child. She had sworn an oath on the River Styx never to lay with a man or lose her chastity. However, she, like Athena, found a loophole: Artemis had Hunters, her loyal handmaidens that accompanied her on her hunts, but she loved them as though they were her kin.**

Artemis and Thalia smiled at each other.

 **She loved them to the point that she gave them immortality, limited to eternal youth as long as they never fell in battle or broke their vow.**

"Second rate immortality." Nico remarked snidely.

"What was that?" Thalia frowned at him.

The son of Hades scoffed. "You heard me."

 **There were moments that Artemis had wished she hadn't made the oath, moments Artemis denies venomously that existed if questioned about her choice.**

"Oh?" Aphrodite leaned in with interest written on her face.

Artemis glared at her. "Stop thinking, it doesn't suit you."

The love goddess just offered an innocent smile.

 **Now, was not one of those moments.**

 **"Breathe! Breathe and push!" Artemis ordered the screaming redheaded woman.**

Apollo perked up and asked. "Waifu?"

"Would you stop that already!?" The Huntress groaned.

"Never! Ninja Waifu for life!" Apollo proclaimed.

 **Her silver moonlike eyes flickered to Phoebe, a trusted Hunter and one of the best medics among her group. Artemis had found the woman stumbling through the woods of Colorado, with wounds on her body that made her look like she had just come from a warzone. When Artemis caught her, the redheaded woman murmured words like 'Kyubi', 'Gomenasai', 'Minato-kun', and 'Tenshi-hime.'**

 **But what really caught her attention was the large bump in her stomach, as though the woman had swallowed a beach ball.**

"Man, what does she eat?" Ares asked.

Hera shook her head. "Funny. Truly, Ares, you jest with the finest of jokes."

"Thanks Ma!" Ares grinned as the sarcasm flew over his head.

 **Then the trickling water that ran down her leg got the goddess' attention.**

 **Artemis was also the goddess of Fertility and Childbirth, so it was her duty to help this life make it into the world, despite the sex. She'd done the same thing for her twin when she was newly born, so helping the delivery of a baby was rather simple for her.**

"I don't think that's-"

Artemis scoffed and made her twin pout with her next words. "It's what happened, deal with it Apollo."

"Huh, I think this is Artemis' version." Hermes rubbed his chin in thought. "Artuto."

"What? But she didn't have the kid!" Apollo objected.

"Nothing says I can't adopt one." The huntress frowned.

"Would you?" Aphrodite asked, a predatory gleam well hidden in her eyes. "He is a male, you know."

"…Maybe," Artemis said, she had grown a soft spot for this Naruto character as they read about him and what other versions of him existed. She wouldn't be opposed to it.

 **Ensuring that the mother survived the birth was the challenge.**

 **"She's losing more blood." Phoebe frowned and looked to the hunter seated across from her. "Zoë, I need more mortal medicine."**

"Yeah, I'd save the medicine." Apollo winced.

Hades nodded in agreement. "Indeed. She's not bound for this realm it seems."

"That sucks." Leo frowned. He felt sad for not born yet Naruto.

 **"I have no more on me!" Zoë snapped. Her irritation was understandable, the redheaded woman was crushing her hand. The Lieutenant of the Hunters let out a cry when the mother-to-be screamed. "By Olympus, her strength matches the Bastard's! Lady Artemis, please get the babe out of her before she crushes my hand to goo!"**

"Now that I would pay to see." Percy chuckled at the image that appeared on the screen. "The look on Zoe's face is classic!"

 **"Patience, Zoë, it's coming," Artemis said calmly. She looked down and prepared herself. "The head is crowning. Push! Breathe! Push!"**

 **The woman screamed and the baby came out. The newborn cried loudly and Artemis looked down at it-** _ **him**_ **with a small smile. She removed the umbilical cord and cleaned up the crying boy slightly. The goddess blinked in surprise as three lines on either of the boy's cheeks refused to come off.**

"Can't be Naruto without the whiskers. Oh, he's so cute!" Piper cooed at baby Naruto along with the other girls and goddesses that would let their composure fall. Hera, Artemis, Athena and Thalia merely smiled lightly at the sight.

 **"Odd birthmarks," she said softly. Artemis wrapped the baby in a silver cloak and carried him up to rest with his mother. The goddess put her hand on the woman's shoulder and knelt where Zoë, who fled to get some nectar for her hand, once rested. Artemis held the bundle out to the woman. "A boy."**

 **"Joy, another one."**

 **Artemis sent a glare to her two Hunters. "He is but an infant, a pure soul just born. If I discover which of you said that, I will have you cleaning tunics, bows, and clothes for the others for a year."**

"Busted." Thalia snorted out to cover a laugh.

 **Zoë and Phoebe grimaced. Sometimes, eternal youth had its boons, but when you never aged, performing yearly chores was like living through Hell.**

"Like being grounded for a month!" Apollo groaned.

"The horror," Percy said dryly.

"Right?!"

 **"Na-Naruto-kun." The woman's voice brought Artemis' attention back to her. A weak hand reached up and brushed across the crying infant's cheek, the finger stroked one of the birthmarks tenderly. "Naruto..."**

 **"Naruto?" Artemis asked. Her silver eyes met weak purple.**

 **"Naruto." There was so much love in that one word, that Artemis was almost jealous of the baby. The desire to raise and care for the boy in the goddess' arms was intense, and as a goddess of Fertility, it made her jealousy rise.**

"Well I could-"

"Stop." Artemis told the love goddess firmly.

 **The one thing she had yet to experience as a goddess was motherhood over infants. Many women of Olympus, even that wench Aphrodite, had felt the pains of childbirth, but unlike Artemis, they also reaped the rewards, raising children. Artemis would never know this experience due to her vow.**

"Uh, you kinda did that on purpose..." Thalia said.

"I know," Artemis said with a neutral look.

 **A soft sigh returned to Goddess' gaze to the redheaded woman, who moved her hand to Artemis' arm and let her eyes fall shut. Her breathing slowed, her head dropped back and her hand fell from Artemis' arm.**

"NO! Waifu!" Apollo burst into tears.

"Apollo, by Us, stop your whining!" Zeus rumbled.

Apollo sniffled while everyone was quiet, saddened by Kushina's passing.

 **The baby, Naruto, continued to cry even as Phoebe and Zoë came back to try and revive the woman. Artemis watched her Hunters try to bring the new mother back, but as a goddess she knew the horrible truth. There would be no saving this life. The woman belonged to Hades and Thanatos now.**

"You make it sound so grim." Hades frowned.

Artemis frowned. "She died."

Hades rolled his eyes at his niece. "So? It's not _that_ bad."

 **"Phoebe, place two drachma over her eyes. Zoë, prepare a grave," Artemis said. As her Hunters followed her instructions, Artemis looked down at the now quiet babe cradled in her arms. For the first time in her immortal life, Artemis wasn't sure of what action to take next.**

"Keep him, keeeep him~!"

"Aphrodite, stop." Demeter sighed at the whispers of the love goddess.

 **"Milady, what is to be done about the child?" Zoë asked.**

 **Artemis pursed her lips in thought. That was precisely the problem. Artemis wasn't sure** _ **what**_ **to do with the infant named Naruto. The goddess didn't even know the name of Naruto's mother. She hadn't bothered to ask. All she did was fall back into a role she was familiar with, helping a mother give birth. She'd done it before, but this was the first time that the mother wasn't an immortal or a demigoddess. Naruto was one-hundred percent mortal, the blood in his veins as pure human as they could be.**

"Or, is he a ninja?" Frank suggested.

"Artie gets the ninja baby? No fair!" Apollo pouted like a five year old.

Artemis just smirked at him despite the fact she knew it would agitate him more.

 **"Milady?"**

 **"Do as I've requested, Zoë." Artemis adjusted Naruto in her arms and summoned her chariot. "I must go ask for advice. I will not be gone long. When you are finished, return to the camp."**

 **"Yes, Lady Artemis."**

 **Artemis had not been back to Greece in many years, and hadn't been back to Crete even longer. The woods weren't as exciting as when she was younger, she could walk through each forested area with her eyes closed, ears plugged and godly senses removed by Zeus.**

"Oh, you want to try?" Apollo asked eagerly.

"No, after watching you herd sheep, I think I've seen enough."

"…Low blow."

 **Her Hunters had cleared the area of any threats long ago, so there was no real challenge to be had.**

 **A soft cry gained Artemis' attention and she turned to the bundle set carefully in a carrier she'd made with a moment of thought. In the light of her twin's chariot, for the brief moment they'd almost crossed paths, Artemis noted that Naruto could've been easily mistaken as a child of Apollo.**

Apollo brightened up.

"He's mortal." Leo pointed out.

"Dammit!"

 **She wondered if that was something to be concerned about, but dismissed the thought, as Apollo was not uncaring towards the mothers of his children...even if he often moves on far too quickly for her liking.**

"Don't judge my life," the sun god frowned.

"I'm your sister, it's my job." Artemis smirked.

"So if I said you need a boyfriend…"

"I'd shoot you full of holes."

"Double standard." Jason muttered, which earned him an elbow and accusing glare from Thalia.

"What was that, Jason?"

"Nothing…"

 **Honestly, Apollo could be much more bearable if he had someone to reign him in, but** _ **no-o-o**_ **, he had to be the fatheaded playboy. Of all things he had to inherit from Zeus, it had to be the libido.**

Apollo laughed awkwardly as Zeus grumbled at the jab to him.

 **"Shush, Naruto, we're almost there." Artemis consoled the crying infant. She landed her chariot in a large yard behind a villa. Artemis picked Naruto up from his carrier and walked around to her deer. She smiled at the four silver deer, their golden antlers sparkled in the sunlight. "Well done. Rest."**

 **The deer snorted in response and began to graze.**

"Piper, how would you rate that grass?"

Piper punched Leo in the arm.

"Ow! Joke, geez!"

 **Artemis looked down at Naruto, who had calmed himself now that they were out of the chariot. She let her lips spread into a small smile, like many newborns, Naruto was very adorable. Especially with the added 'whiskers' on his cheeks.**

"I just want to pinch them." Piper smiled.

"I know!" Hazel agreed with a coo at the image.

 **"Artemis?" The goddess looked up at the mentioning of her name. She smiled even wider when she saw the owner of the voice that had said it. A woman with eyes a lighter silver than her own and hair as dark as the night sky walked from the villa towards her. She wore a white sun dress of the finest material and her smile looked much like her own.**

 **"Mother." Artemis walked quickly towards her, her smile wide.**

"You'd show Mom before _me_!?"

"Yes." Artemis nodded.

Apollo looked like a kicked puppy.

 **She met the woman in a hug, mindful of the bundle in her arm. Artemis never felt safer than when she was in her mother's arms, of course she could take care of herself now, but there were some things that made even a god afraid. Typhon for instance, after the first battle with the monster king, both Artemis and Apollo took several days to recover, seeking sanctuary in Leto's love.**

"Best, game nights, ever." Apollo beamed.

"And hot cocoa."

"Ah yeah!" the sun twin cheered as Artemis grinned at him.

 **Leto pressed her lips against Artemis' head and tightened her arms around her daughter. "Artemis, my sweet moonlight."**

"Moonlight?"

"Thalia, no jesting about this."

"Fine, fine," Thalia said with a quirked lip. She couldn't wait to tell the other hunters hear about this.

 **Leto pulled away and smiled. "Why are you-oh! Well...I never thought you'd break your oath..."**

"See? Even your mother encourages it!"

Artemis just ignored the love goddess and glared at Apollo as he opened his mouth. "Mother would not!"

Apollo pouted and muttered. "Never gonna get a legit nephew..."

 **"No! No-no-no-no-no!" Artemis quickly corrected. "No, Mother. Apollo is the one who...has demigods. I have my Hunters."**

 **"Uh-huh. So, you have an adorable bundle with you just to match your eyes?" Leto asked, an amused smile on her face. She took the babe from her daughter's arm and cradled him in her own. "Oh, he's so precious."**

 **"Yes, he-No! Mother, stop distracting me!" Artemis frowned at her mother, who laughed at her and cooed at the infant.**

"She was always good at getting you to misstep." Apollo chuckled while his twin's cheeks burned.

 **Artemis took a deep breath and then crossed her arms. "His mother passed after she gave birth. I stumbled across her in Colorado's woods, she was...not doing well. My Hunters did what they could, but the stress of childbirth on her heart."**

 **"What a shame," Leto said with a frown. She looked back at the blearily blinking baby boy and smiled. "Poor little cutie doesn't deserve to grow up motherless. And an orphanage would eat him up! Insulting, some of those child care locations, it makes my ichor boil! Back in the day, when a child wasn't wanted we ensured it found a home to be raised by someone who'd love it!"**

All the gods murmured with agreement. Sometimes it was better back in the old days, even with the technological advancements of today.

 **"Mother, you're scaring Naruto," Artemis said as Naruto started to fuss in Leto's arms.**

 **"Naruto?" Leto calmed and looked at her daughter. She let a smile spread across her face. "I thought Apollo was the one that enjoyed the Eastern culture?"**

"See? She supports my interests," Apollo said with a bright smile.

"Momma's boy." Artemis muttered.

 **Artemis flushed lightly, her cheeks slightly gold from the ichor. "I didn't name him, Mother, his mother did. Before she died."**

 **Leto hummed and turned back to Naruto, who she calmed easily as she bounced him gently in her arms. The mother of the Letoides smiled at him. "Your momma loved you, didn't she Naruto? Yes she did."**

"Kushina is awesome." Percy admitted. "Almost as good as my Mom."

"Debatable," Apollo said. Poseidon scowled at him and Apollo shrugged. It was debatable.

 **"Mother, focus please?" It was really the one thing that Artemis couldn't understand about her mother, she always seemed to lose focus when babies or children came into view. For the immortal life of her, Artemis just didn't get it.**

"They're adorable." Demeter told her fellow goddess.

"I'd wager so." Artemis nodded.

 **"Is he a demigod?" Leto asked as she turned and walked back to the villa.**

 **Artemis watched her mother walk off in disbelief before she quickly followed. "Mother! Where are you going?!"**

 **"To prepare a bottle, of course." Leto walked into the building, Artemis hot on her heels. "Now, is he?"**

 **"No."**

 **Leto stopped and turned to face Artemis, shock on her face. "You helped a mortal woman give birth to her** _ **mortal**_ **son?** _ **You**_ **?"**

Artemis' cheeks colored once again as her fellow gods snickered at her.

"Ouch." Jason surmised as Thalia nodded in agreement.

 **Artemis scowled. "I am not** _ **that**_ **bad!"**

 **"You changed one poor boy that stumbled across your camp into a jackelope. His mother had been looking for him for a month before I undid the transformation."**

"Wow. That's cruel," Leo said. He was glad Artemis wasn't with the hunters when they met.

 **Artemis winced. "He violated-!"**

 **"Your personal space that he didn't know existed?" Leto put one hand on her hip and looked down at her daughter with a frown on her face. Artemis felt like a newborn goddess all over again, not even Zeus made her feel like this. Leto shook her head. "If there's one thing you and your brother got from Lord Zeus, it was your tempers."**

"Don't we all?" Hermes asked with a lighthearted chuckle as some of his siblings frowned and a few others nodded.

"Not me," Jason said.

"And?" Thalia said.

"…Nope, just me."

"Why you little-!"

"I'm taller than you."

"Grr, Jason…"

Percy leaned over to Annabeth and whispered to her "I love this."

Annabeth fought back a giggle and swatted his arm.

 **"Back to the topic at hand," Artemis said. She did not want to have** _ **this**_ **conversation with her mother anytime soon. "What should I do?"**

 **Leto stared down at Artemis for another moment before she turned and began to walk off again. Artemis groaned and followed her. "Mother! Stop avoiding the question!"**

 **"I'm not avoiding the question, you're avoiding the answer."**

 **"That doesn't make any sense!"**

"Yes it does." Hera acknowledged. While she and Leto have their 'differences', Hera still had a respect for her as a mother.

 **Leto stepped into the kitchen and got out several items. Artemis watched with confused awe as a bottle and baby formula was pulled out.**

 **"Mother...why do you have-?"**

 **"I'm working as a nanny," Leto said with a smile. She twirled her hands and the bottle quickly prepared itself. Artemis knew instinctively that the bottle was perfect for a baby Naruto's weight. "There's a cute little girl named Cassandra here. She and her parents have gone off to Australia. Which is good, I hate using the Mist on them."**

 **Leto began to feed Naruto, smiling as she did, before she looked at Artemis. "You want to ask me for advice on what to do with him. You've already known what you've wanted: You want to raise him."**

"I knew it!" Aphrodite cheered.

"I'm an uncle!" Apollo beamed. "Finally!"

Hermes blinked and frowned. "Hey..."

Artemis glared at them.

 **"Wha-No-!"**

 **"By the Fates, stop lying to yourself Artemis!" Leto frowned at her. She looked back at the feeding infant with a smile. "You took one look at this face and suffered the same fate many women have for eons: you fell in love."**

"YES!" Aphrodite pumped her fist.

 **Artemis shoulder slumped. "Must you say it like that?"**

 **"Well, it's true." Leto pouted at her. "Perhaps not romantically, but your first sense of maternal love,** _ **real**_ **maternal love, came when you cradled this boy in your arms."**

"…DAMMIT!"

"Aphrodite." Hestia frowned. Such crass language was unnecessary.

"I was so close!" The love goddess whined and stomped her feet in a small fit.

"Child." Artemis scoffed.

 **Artemis eyes went to rest on the whisker cheeked infant that swallowed formula while he rested in her mother's arms in content.**

 **"Zeus will-"**

 **"Will what? Kill him? Punish you? Why?" Leto asked. "You've broken no law. Little Naruto is not your son by blood. Nor has he forced you to break your oath on the Styx, not that he has room to judge." Leto gained a grimace. "I hear Lord Zeus discovered a new interest. I cannot wait to see how Lady Hera handles this one."**

"…I think that's me." Thalia rubbed her eyes. Joy.

Hera glared at her husband, who pointedly kept his gaze on the screen.

 **"Mother...the names."**

 **"Yes, yes, whatever." Leto rolled her eyes. "You Olympians, so stingy about being addressed in this day and age. You must** _ **love**_ **it when you come up in education, or history specials." Leto looked back at Naruto and smiled when she pulled the bottle away. "Such a healthy boy. Well, if you don't wish to raise him, I'm sure Cassandra's parents wouldn't mind raising a son." She winked conspiratorially at her daughter. "I can hear them trying for another when they're at home."**

"Woohoo!" Aphrodite smiled. "I should talk with Leto more often."

"No!" Artemis snapped.

"I dunno, sis..." Apollo rubbed his chin. "Mom could use more girlfriends."

"Not _her_!" His twin argued.

 **"Mother!" Artemis flushed brightly. The goddess glowered at Leto as she laughed and stole Naruto back from her. Artemis looked down at the whiskered babe as he yawned and she gained a small smile. "...Perhaps, he can be the first tolerable man to walk the Earth."**

"So what am I?" Percy asked.

"He was born before you it seems, Percy Jackson," Artemis said.

The son of Poseidon pouted. "Most of these Narutos are older than me. So not cool."

 **Leto smiled at the sight and crossed her arms over her stomach. "Perhaps."**

 **So how did a god react to the news of Artemis, the 'man-hater', taking in an orphaned baby as her own child? To the passerby on Olympus, even this news was considered old. Many of Artemis' hunters were once orphaned demigods or nymphs cast aside by their godly lovers. In any other case, this news would be laughed off as an old joke long since gone bad.**

 **But when one mentioned that this adopted child was a mortal** _ **boy**_ **?**

 **Everything came to a grinding** _ **halt**_ **.**

"You people are so bored! Really? This is news?" Artemis complained.

"Yes." The Olympians nodded.

 **When the news reached the council of Olympus, the Twelve Olympians as they were more commonly known, even Dionysus perked up in interest.**

"I did?" Dionysus blinked.

 **The most interesting reaction, however, came from the king of the gods.**

 **"Artemis cannot come...because she has to feed her...son..." Zeus repeated what the news that Zoë Nightshade, his daughter's most trusted Lieutenant, told him through the Iris Message portal. To say the king of the gods was stunned would be an understatement.**

"I think he's shell-shocked." Poseidon chuckled along with his siblings while Zeus looked conflicted.

 **Hera narrowed her eyes as she looked at the hunter. "...Is this a joke, Zoë Nightshade?"**

 **"No, Lady Hera." The Hunter remained on her knees and kept her head bowed as the Olympians stared at her from the other end of the Iris Message. "Milady offers her deepest apologies, but her son refuses to sleep and she has grown concerned. She will arrive once her son is asleep."**

 **A second ticked by before a golden blur shot through the doors of the council chambers. Following the blur was an elated echo of: "I'M AN UNCLE! I'VE GOT A LITTLE NEPHEW!"**

"…"

"Yep, I'd definitely be that excited!" Apollo said with a chuckle.

Artemis just blinked at the sheer…enthusiasm in Apollo's words. She frowned. The alternate version of her twin best not muck anything up.

 **"...Well, Apollo's not coming back," Hermes said after a moment of silence passed. His fingers were already blurring across his phone's keypad. He had to get a day off so he could meet the little tyke, too.**

"Why is everyone meddling with my life?!" Artemis snapped.

"Because you were so boring until now?" Apollo suggested and got punched in the shoulder a few times. "Ow! Ow! It was a joke! A joke!"

"It had better be!"

 **"Details. I want details!" Aphrodite demanded of the Hunter. "Who is the father? Who!? I must make sure this man is given the best love life! Gratitude!"**

"…Wow, Mom." Piper blinked. "Just wow."

"It's a must dear!"

 **"The boy is mortal, Aphrodite." Athena burst the goddess' bubble. "He is her** _ **adopted**_ **son."**

 **"That doesn't mean the father shouldn't get rewarded for his part in all of this!" Aphrodite shot back. She tittered happily and clapped her hands. "I've been** _ **dreaming**_ **of this day. Oh, who to put with this boy? A model? Starlet? So many options, so little time!"**

Piper looked terrified. This is what her mother did for fun? That's so...Creepy.

 **"I wish to know more as well, but not for the same reasons," Poseidon said. He leaned forward in his throne slightly. "Nightshade, where are the boy's parents?"**

 **"The mother is deceased, Lord Poseidon," Zoë said dutifully, her head still bowed. "And the father is nowhere to be found. Possibly dead."**

 **Poseidon stroked his beard in thought. "I see...We must speak with Hades, Zeus. ...Brother?"**

 **Zeus continued to stare at the Iris Message. "...Artemis cannot come...because she has to feed her son..."**

"Yep, still out of it." Hades chuckled.

Zeus frowned (read: pouted) at his other's dumbfounded state. _He_ would've snapped out of it by now...right?

 **Ares slumped over so that his hand supported his head on the arm of his throne. "Yeah, you said that already. Mortal huh? I give him three days before he's eaten by a monster."**

"And by that, he means your hunters."

Ares laughed. "Yeah, I probably did."

Artemis glared at the couple.

 **"Ares! That's a terrible thing to say!" Demeter chastised the god of war. "Artemis is a powerful goddess and her domain resides over child care. She'll see to it that the seed grows into a tree."**

 **"A beautiful tree. Oh, I wonder how he'll look when he's older. I have to know!" Aphrodite pouted. Both Old Laws and Artemis had banned her from stepping foot in the Hunter's camp. So unless Artemis brought the baby to Olympus, which was highly unlikely since mortals hadn't stepped foot on the mountaintop in centuries, she'd have no clue what the adopted son looked like.**

 **"Stop whining, Aphrodite." Dionysus frowned at the goddess. He made a can of Diet Coke appear in his hand and popped the tab. "I'm just glad he won't be at camp."**

"I like him already!" Mr. D smiled.

 **Aphrodite gasped, horror written on her face. "But if he's not at camp, how will he meet with any of my babies!? How will he meet any potential girlfriends? Or boyfriends?"**

 **"Ew."**

 **Aphrodite glared at Ares. "You shush, love is pure in any way. Artemis' son will receive the** _ **best**_ **of love since he has to deal with these insufferable girls!"**

"Poor, poor boy," Aphrodite said and wiped a tear away.

"We are not that bad." Thalia rolled her eyes.

"Perhaps not you, but the rest of them? Terrible!"

 **"They're not that bad." Hephaestus grunted as he fiddled with a silver mechanical moon. He turned a screw and then looked at the Iris Message. "Nightshade. Give this to Artemis. Tell her I got the other request yesterday."**

 **Looks of shock and disbelief were directed at Hephaestus, but he ignored them.**

" _You_ knew?" Aphrodite gasped.

The smith grinned at her dumbfounded face. "I've got my own sources."

"Nice." Leo snickered.

 **The machine he had created vanished from his hand and reappeared next to Zoë. The Hunter picked it up and discovered it to be a portable mobile that played a soft "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," complete with extending arms and flashing stars that danced in a circular motion.**

"Aw, Hephaestus, that's so sweet." Hestia smiled, which earned a small one from the Smith God.

Hephaestus shrugged. "Meh, it was simple."

 **Zoë bowed deeply. "It shall be done, Lord Hephaestus. I will inform her that you did as she requested."**

 **"Just have her send more silver my way when she needs something else done." Hephaestus grunted. He swiped his hand and the message ended.**

 **"...Dude." Hermes continued to stare at the smith. "You knew?"**

 **"Yeah. So what?" Hephaestus didn't see the big deal. Artemis wanted to keep it a secret when she asked for a mobile a month ago, but he figured that since Nightshade was telling the Olympians, Artemis no longer cared for secrecy.**

 **"...But you knew?!" Hermes pressed on. This was some serious gossip, and it escaped** _ **him**_ **! The god of messengers!**

"Gossip God," Athena sniffed.

"GG I am." Hermes grinned. The grin faltered when he realized that he missed it. "Ow, my pride."

 **"You knew and you didn't tell** _ **me**_ **?!" Aphrodite asked in shock.**

 **Hephaestus gave her a dry look. "You're really that surprised?"**

 **"...It's the principal of the thing!"**

 **Hephaestus rolled his eyes. "Whatever."**

 **Aphrodite glared daggers at him. "Ooh, you'll pay for this** _ **Hephaestus**_ **."**

 **"I'm shaking in my sandals."**

 **"Enough!" The gods looked to the Queen of Olympus when she spoke. Hera had a frown on her face, she detested witnessing Aphrodite and Hephaestus' dysfunctional marriage at work. It was a slight to her domain.**

"Poor you, sister." Hades chuckled. "Not like your husband stems it, no?"

Hera refused to answer that with a stony face.

 **Hera turned and glared at her own husband, who continued to mumble the same line. "Zeus!"**

 **"Confound it Hera, I told you I'm holding to the Oath!" Zeus snapped, brought from his broken train of thought at his wife's voice.**

"No he's not!"

"Be quiet, Poseidon!"

 **He blinked and frowned when Poseidon burst into laughter. "What is so funny, brother?"**

 **"You, brother. You seem to be having trouble coming to terms with Artemis' announcement." Poseidon's mirth shone in his eyes. "Along with the proclamation after Hera got your attention."**

 **Zeus glared at his brother and then at his snickering sons. He sat back in his throne and clenched his jaw. "Well, I'm surprised you're not reacting the same way. Artemis is breaking the Old Law!"**

"Not so," Athena said with a sigh. Zeus was so emotional when it came to her and Artemis sometimes.

 **"Actually, Zeus, she is not," Athena said. She directed her attention to the center of the council chambers, where a large and old image of text appeared. "The Old Law state that gods cannot raise their own children. Artemis has adopted this mortal boy, so he is not her child, even though at the same time he is."**

 **"I could always use more interns."**

 **"No, Hermes." Zeus glared at the messenger god, who snapped his fingers in disappointment.**

"I have pamphlets~!" Hermes sang, waving them at the demigods.

"I got, oh no, we, us, oh look at the time!" The demigods all scrambled for excuses while Thalia shook her head.

Hermes hung his head and Apollo rubbed his shoulder.

 **Zeus turned his stormy gaze back to the text and banished it with a wave of his hand. He gained a thoughtful look. "Artemis will have to explain her reasoning when she returns. When did Apollo run off? It's not like him to leave a meeting."**

 **"...Artemis just announced she adopted a** _ **boy**_ **." Poseidon reminded the king.**

"Duh." Apollo rolled his eyes.

 **Zeus nodded. "Ah. That makes sense."**

"A sad fact one would say." Artemis sighed as Thalia gave her a sympathetic look.

 **"Oh, c'mon, lil' sis! Please, let me hold him?" A handsome youth softly pleaded to Artemis. Apollo had arrived moments after Zoë dropped off the mobile Hephaestus made, and her twin's arrival stirred Naruto from his near sleep. Apollo's arrival was flashy and bright, two things that were not wanted or needed when one was trying to put a baby down to sleep.**

"Well I never! Baby's cry _joyously_ at my arrival!" Apollo huffed.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Or they cry in horrific fear of your personality."

"…You are a hurtful sister, Arte."

 **"How many times must I remind you that** _ **I'm**_ **the older twin? And he was almost asleep after hours of crying!" Artemis snapped back in a hushed tone. Her silver eyes returned to the tired blue of Naruto's, but the infant was adamant of not slumbering, not with the new excitement that had entered her tent. His mouth opened in a toothless tired smile and fresh tears brimmed along the edge of his eyes. Artemis withheld a scowl, if Naruto started to cry again she was going to snap a bow over her brother's fat head.**

"I think she might do it anyway," Thalia said with a small smile.

Apollo winced while Artemis smirked at him.

 **"No, no, no, Naruto, shh. No crying. No more tears."**

 **"Uncle's here, no more nightmares," Apollo chimed in, singing softly. He swiped the infant from his sister, earning a venomous glare, and began to rock him gently. "Now hush, little baby don't you cry. Everything's going to be all right."**

 **Artemis watched in slight awe as her irresponsible twin rocked Naruto to sleep. She'd never seen Apollo act this way around an infant, which was understandable considering the last time he spent more than two minutes next to a baby was with Hermes.**

"I could never look at a baby the same way again." Apollo nodded, glaring at Hermes.

"Oh, come on, that was eons ago!" Hermes crossed his arms. "I thought Hades held the grudges."

"Don't bring me into this." Hades grunted.

 **Apollo never really got over the fact an infant god stole his cows or that he got swindled into not charging Hermes. Sure, the two gods loved to hang around with one another, but there was the occasional spat that went back to Hermes' first crime.**

 **"Stiffen that upper lip, lil' baby I told ya, Uncle's here to hold ya through the night." Apollo grinned as the baby in his arms yawned and his eyes drifted shut. "We don't know why; we feel how we feel inside. Your life's gonna be crazy, little baby, but I promise, it'll turn out all right."**

 **"...I hate you. So much." Artemis declared softly as she watched Naruto sleep. Apollo did in** _ **seconds**_ **what had taken her** _ **hours**_ **.**

"Music god." Apollo buffed his nails on his tank top. "I got the mad skills."

 **She was going to break three bows over his head...after he taught her how in the name of Tartarus he did that.**

"Well, if that's how you're going to be, you can forget it!"

"He'll still tell me," Artemis waved her twin off with a smirk.

 **Apollo grinned at her as he went over to the crib and sent the infant in. "Ah, don't be jealous that he likes me more, Lil' Sis. Lil' Nephew knows who's got the most swagger."**

 **"I am** _ **not**_ **the younger!" Artemis hissed. She walked over and brushed past her twin, covering Naruto's form in a silver blanket. A gold blanket appeared atop it with a smiling cartoonish sun on the middle. Artemis turned and gave her twin a baleful glare. "Seriously?"**

"Babies love the sun, and thus, they love me!" Apollo said passionately.

"How self-absorbed." Athena huffed.

"It's all the UV rays," Hermes said, which got a few laughs.

 **"Babies gotta be warm, and it gets chilly in Colorado," Apollo said with a nod. He crossed his arms and looked down at the sleeping baby. "So...Mortal, huh?"**

 **"Yes," Artemis said with a small frown. She'd already had the worrisome thought of mortality when one of the Hunters' wolves got too close to Naruto for her liking.**

 **"What's his name?"**

 **"Naruto." Artemis smiled lightly as she brushed one of the whisker marks on his cheeks.**

 **Apollo arched a golden brow. "I thought you didn't know Japanese."**

"I do." Artemis scowled at her twin. "I just distance myself since you are so into it."

"Aw, we can go to Tokyo together!" Apollo offered. "It'll be fun!"

"No."

 **"His mother named him before she passed." Artemis frowned. "I thought him at first to be one of yours. But once he was born, I knew he was not a demigod."**

 **"So we got a dead mother, a dad that's MIA and now a goddess raising a mortal," Apollo said. He rubbed his chin. "That sounds like a bad anime. Well, with the right staff, I think it could be good."**

 **"You're such a block head." Artemis sighed.**

 **"Says the one raising a boy with a name that means 'fishcake'."**

 **Artemis glared at him. "Do not call Naruto a fishcake."**

"It's what it means." Nico chuckled.

"I think he'd like Maelstrom more," Jason said with a chuckle.

 **"That's what his name means," Apollo said with a grin. He shrugged. "Well, that or 'maelstrom'. But, c'mon, it was more likely that the pregnant woman was thinking about food when she picked the name." At Artemis' infuriated glare, Apollo quickly added. "Which was most likely many months before she died."**

 **"Be grateful that Hermes taught you how to pull your foot from your mouth."**

"He did not!"

"Yes he/I did." The gods shot back, which made the sun god's shoulders slump.

 **"Harsh." Apollo looked down at the baby and scratched his head. "So...have you thought about what'll happen when you've got to kick him out?"**

 **Artemis' silver eyes grew cold. "That won't happen for years!"**

"Girls are gross." Leo said in a whiny voice. He then deepened his voice. "A few years pass: I'm in paradise!"

Thalia glared at him. "Don't get any ideas, Valdez."

"Hey, I got a one and only. I don't need girls stuck in kiddy bodies."

"What was that?!" Thalia looked ready to snap Leo in half.

"Read, Reyna, read." Jason hissed to his friend urgently.

 **"Which move by** _ **very**_ **fast for us," Apollo said pointedly. He crossed his arms. "I saw it, sis. Kid's life is going to be crazy. And that's not counting** _ **after**_ **he gets booted from the Hunter's Camp."**

 **Artemis frowned at her twin. "I'll be at Olympus shortly."**

 **"Sorry, sis. Truth hurts." Apollo shrugged. He vanished with light bending around him, a warm air left from where he once stood.**

 **Artemis looked back at her adopted son and ran her hand over his head gently. Her eyes lost their cold edge to them and warmed greatly. She knew that a time would come when she had to dismiss Naruto, and she would deal with it then. For now, she would enjoy the peace with him, the moments they would make.**

 **After she explained the situation to Zeus and forbade Aphrodite from bothering him.**

"So not fair!" Aphrodite whined.

 **Time was a fickle thing for immortals. They were everlasting once they reached a certain point in their growth, so they cared not for the measurement of time. A second to humanity was hardly a heartbeat to a god. A day, barely even a blink. Years passed like hours when one was immortal.**

"Wow, glad I declined that offer." Percy frowned.

"I'm not." Ares sulked. "I still want to beat on Jackson every day."

Hephaestus and Dionysus chuckled, Apollo and Hermes stifled some laughter, Athena arched a brow and smirked, and Artemis merely palmed her face.

"What?" Ares asked with a frown.

Aphrodite tittered and looked at her boyfriend. "I believe the term is: phrasing."

"...Oh you can all go straight to Tartarus!" Ares snapped with a scowl.

Percy openly gagged and looked at Annabeth. "Mind bleach! Now!"

 **When one had the ability to retain every second of every minute of every hour in every day of every week of a year, time became cheap, but what was priceless was the moments made. The history that the Olympians witnessed unveil before them was what helped them realize when times changed.**

 **For humanity, time was precious. More valuable. Time flew by before one knew what happened. Time was fleeting, ever changing. A day could feel like an hour, or an hour could feel like a day. Seconds could feel like an eternity, while a year could sneak past without one being the wiser.**

"I wait for the school bell to tick every second." Percy groaned.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You poor baby."

"I know!"

 **Blue eyes cracked open as a cloud passed overhead. The star covered night sky twinkled above the owner of the eyes. The sounds of cars honking in the distance filled the air, the sounds of Richmond coming back to focus.**

"Richmond?" Thalia blinked along with Annabeth. "Wow, that was like, forever ago."

 **A teenage boy, no older than fourteen, stretched his arms up in front of him. He wore dark pants, boots, silver leather gloves one might see on an archer and a white long sleeved shirt with a crescent moon over his chest.**

"Gaudy." Aphrodite blanched. The poor boy had to learn Artemis' tastes! She didn't have any to begin with.

 **His clothes were tight and fit his well-developed form perfectly, lowering wind resistance and allowing him greater speed.**

"Hm, better."

"He's fourteen," Artemis said with disgust to the love goddess.

Aphrodite smirked. "I just said it was better. No need to get testy about it Artemis~"

 **The teen rolled his legs back over his head and kipped up to his feet. He walked over to the ledge of the building he napped on and grabbed a belt with several pouches attached to it, which he then slipped on. He grabbed a silver cloak and drew it around himself, the hood down allowed the light breeze to blow his hair.**

 **The youth looked over Hell's Kitchen, the area he'd chosen as his territory. The part of the city where the unappreciated lived and the ones who wanted to hide hid well. Not exactly where he'd thought he'd call home when he was a child, but it grew onto him quickly.**

"It sounds like Bludhaven." Leo commented. He then gasped. "He's a super hero!"

"No, he isn't." Artemis scoffed at that.

"Well, if I got to know him..." Apollo grinned.

Artemis paled.

 **It was his duty to protect his territory, and all those within. Regardless of gender.**

 **It was how his mother told him nature worked: the top of the food chain would protect their territory from unwanted predators.**

 **A gunshot rang out and he looked over to the side.**

 **He was also to deal with unwanted scavengers.**

 **His eyes narrowed and he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a silver cloth that he tied over his mouth to conceal six whisker-like marks on either cheek, and then pulled up the hood of his cloak to keep the cloth from being reached and his near golden hair from being identified.**

"Moon Knight!" Piper squealed, which earned some looks from the other demigods. She flushed under their gaze and mumbled, "I love Moon Knight."

 **The teen climbed onto the ledge of the building and waited. And waited. And waited.**

 **A gunshot rang out again.**

 **The youth turned on the ledge and ran towards the origin of the gunshot. He leapt without hesitation to the nearby building's ledge, crossing a ten foot gap with ease. He had prey to catch, there was no time to be afraid. The teen ran for a few blocks across the rooftops before he spotted two masked men on the street below. They rounded the corner of a building, and he quickly raced ahead of them.**

Leo whistled. "Wow, sweet parkour, bro."

"How does he jump like that?" Frank blinked.

Thalia grinned. "You pick it up fast in the Hunt."

Aphrodite turned to Artemis with a smirk on her face. "Teaching your hunters a _French_ past-time?"

Artemis snorted. "Hardly. I give them speed and agility training, not parkour training."

"Again, I could know him." Apollo added.

 **The masked and cloaked teen jumped from the ledge to a fire escape on the next building. He went over the edge and dropped from one level to the next, catching himself with his hands. From the third level, he pushed away and landed on a flickering street light. After the first masked man ran past, he dropped, landing on the second with both feet.**

Artemis palmed her face while her twin whooped in joy.

Her son/His nephew was a vigilante!

 **"Ahh! Mikey!" The assaulted man cried out. The teen quickly disarmed him and then reached into his pouch. A silver arrowhead was pulled out and tossed into the light overhead, encasing them in darkness. The man screamed in horror and the teen pounced on his prey.**

"Wait, he threw?" Percy asked.

"Moon Knight is an amazing weapons thrower." Piper told him with a huff. "Read a comic sometime."

"...Dyslexia?"

"...Percy, it's a comic book."

"But still..."

Annabeth palmed her face. "You're joining a reading club."

"Wha-Annabeth!"

 **Almost half a block ahead, the other masked man stopped and turned back. "G-Greg? You-you okay man?"**

 **The masked man's question was answered by the sound of punches and anguished cries for help. The gunman took several steps back, but stopped when something silver flew from the shadow and into the next street light, shattering it and encasing the small illuminated area in darkness. Then another took out one that was closer to the would-be thief, which made it seem like the shadows had begun to chase him.**

"Oh, mind games," Athena said with interest.

 **It was at that point that the masked man decided to try and run again.**

 **The teen grinned behind his mask.**

 **He loved the thrill of the Hunt.**

"Indeed." Artemis smiled toothily.

"See, Jason, just hope Thalia never ends up like that." Apollo whispered to his mortal half-brother.

Jason nodded and gave Thalia a nervous look.

 **As the teen chased the masked thief, he tossed more silver arrowheads at any source of light, extinguishing them instantly. He may not have his mother or uncle's skill with a bow, but his accuracy was on par with his adopted sisters and cousins. His uncle taught him that humanity loved to live in the light, and that monsters thrived in darkness.**

"Well, he's not wrong." Hades smirked.

"I try," Apollo said with a pleased tone.

 **His mother corrected the lesson, saying that it was predators that thrived in the darkness.**

"She's also correct," Hades said begrudgingly.

 **They embraced the shadows of Hades, allowed his presence to conceal their own. Sure, his mother's lessons focused on hunting in wilderness, but he figured that it would hold true in what was called a concrete jungle.**

 **So far, he hadn't been wrong.**

 **Tired of the chase, he pulled out a curved crescent-shaped shuriken and tossed it at the masked man.**

"I'm Batman," Leo said in a deep voice.

"No he's not!" Piper glared at the Latino.

"Okay, geez, chill chica."

 **He had based it off of a gag gift from his uncle on his seventh birthday. Actually, most of his current attire was inspired by his uncle. Particularly after the god of the sun gave him a copy of Moon Knight.**

"Called it!" Piper whooped.

 **The Egyptian thing was weird, though. His mother never mentioned anything about the Egyptian gods.**

The demigods looked at the gods, but their gazes were promptly ignored.

 **A puzzle for another day.**

 _ **Focus on the task at hand.**_

 **Right.**

 **"Ack!" The crescent shuriken caught the man in the back of the knee, and he fell hard into the cement. The teen threw two more arrows at nearby street lights, which encased the area in shadows. He walked up to the masked man and plugged the barrel of his gun with an industrial nail when the man aimed it at him. The masked man pulled the trigger and cried out as he nearly blew his hand off.**

"Okay, that's wicked aim," Frank said.

Artemis brimmed with mild pride. "Naturally."

 **The teen kicked the gun aside and pushed the man onto his back with his foot.**

 **"D-Don't kill me! Please!"**

 **For some reason, the youth felt like he was suffering from déjà vu.**

 _ **Focus!**_

 **Blue eyes narrowed and the teen grabbed the man's shirt. He tore the mask away, revealing a rugged man with a chipped tooth from his earlier fall.**

 **"I'm not going to kill you." He narrowed his gaze. "I'm** _ **warning**_ **you and other scumbags like you: Hell's Kitchen is** _ **mine**_ **. Stay out."**

"Gotham is mine."

"Leo, stop." Jason groaned.

"Yeah, fine... I'll let Nico do it."

Nico glared at him. "I am not acting like Batman."

"But you got the brood and gloom thing going on!"

Nico just glared further at the pyro.

 **"Y-Yeah, yeah! I'll spread the word! Oh God, please don't hurt me."**

 **"Spread the word." A fist collided with the man's temple and he was knocked out cold. The teen let him fall back to the ground and he looked to the bag discarded to the side. He grabbed the bag and opened it. A bag of money was within.**

 **The teen doubled back and grabbed the other bag. Before he could leave, the other masked man grabbed his leg.**

 **"Wait! I-I need that money!"**

 **The teen turned and looked at the bruised thief, his eyes hard. "Get a job."**

 **"No, please! They're gonna kill my daughter if I don't give them the money! Here, here, see?" The man fumbled around in his back pocket and pulled out a wallet. He pulled out a picture and held it up. "Here. This is Sarah. She's only seven, please. I can't go to the cops. They're crooked! Please, I don't care if I go to jail, you-you gotta do something, man. Sarah doesn't deserve to die for my mistakes!"**

"What sort of filth would do this?!" Artemis glowered.

"Mortals?" Ares suggested with a grin. He knew it would stoke her flames.

Artemis seethed and gripped the armrests of her throne tightly.

 **He took the picture and, after a moment of silence, knocked the man out with a kick to the head. Blue eyes looked back at the small picture of a happy brunette in his hand. He grabbed the other duffle bag and slid the picture in his pocket.**

 **"I agree. Sarah doesn't deserve to die for your mistakes." The teen walked into the shadows of the nearest alleyway and left, leaving the two unmasked men unconscious.**

"Naruto is on the case." Annabeth nodded. She thought her mother's version of Naruto was still cooler, though.

"Good for him. I wonder how he will handle it." Reyna mused as she continued.

 **Blue eyes stared at the image of the girl, Sarah, which was appropriated from the would-be criminal. It was pinned to a wall, along with many other newspaper clippings that covered stories of disappearing children. It was the seventh abducted child, but unlike the previous six, the parent hadn't gone to authorities.**

Percy scratched the back of his head. "Isn't that bad?"

 **Smart.**

"Or I'm wrong."

"Not the first time." Athena commented.

 **Some of the cops in this city were crooked.** _ **Some**_ **. Not all. You had to know who could be trusted. That was why most of the girls were still missing, or most likely dead.**

Artemis let out a snarl while Thalia crossed her arms and scowled heavily.

 **Parents didn't know who could be trusted.**

 **The young vigilante did.**

 **He reached over and grabbed the landline phone of his apartment, a gift from his uncle on his thirteenth birthday. He pressed the appropriate numbers and then hit the star key. The phone rang eloquently before it was answered.**

 **"** _ **Hello?**_ **"**

 **"Uncle Fred."**

"I love that gag!" Apollo snickered.

Percy blanched. "I don't, you smelled like a hobo."

Apollo waved his comment off. "That means I nailed the part!"

 **"** _ **Naruto! Excuse me, babe, my lil' nephew's on the line. Huh? Yeah, a sister. I'll explain it later – Naruto! Lil' nephew! How's Richmond treating you? Wanna move west? I still need a wingman~!**_ **"**

Artemis gave a murderous glare to Apollo. "A wingman?"

The sun god started to sweat and looked at Reyna. "Hey, uh, sweetheart? You wanna read faster? Please!?"

 **Naruto cracked a small smile at his uncle's enthusiasm. "Sorry, Uncle Fred, but I like Richmond. School's nice and the night life is wild."**

 **"** _ **Not too wild, though, right? Your mother will kill me if you got hurt. I said I'd cover your expenses and keep an eye on you, ya know.**_ **"**

"I am the best uncle ever." Apollo smirked.

"Maybe." Artemis admitted.

"Just a maybe?"

"Yes."

Apollo could accept that.

 **"I'm fine, Uncle. I need some help on one of my afterschool projects."**

 **"** _ **Lay it on me, kiddo.**_ **"**

 **"A lot of kids are getting kidnapped."**

 **"** _ **...This sounds like something the police should worry about, not me.**_ **"**

"Yeah, I got godly things to do." Apollo nodded.

"Like women."

"Yeah, like wo-dammit Herm!"

 **Naruto frowned. "What if it was one of my cousins?"**

 **"** _ **...Dammit, I hate that you can guilt me like that.**_ **" The speaker on the other end groaned. "** _ **Alright, kiddo. You've got my attention.**_ **"**

 **"Seven children, mortals, between the ages of five and ten. Six are still missing, but all have asked for ransoms." Naruto explained. He went over to the wall and ran his finger over a part of an article. "The drop is five hundred thousand and the location is at a park bench. Surveillance always seems to go wonky after the drop is made and the police on stakeout always seem to forget what the pickup look like."**

 **"** _ **Crooked. This is getting interesting. Like issue fifty of-!**_ **"**

"Too caught up in the fantasy." Artemis frowned.

"Hey, fantasy rules!" Apollo said sternly.

"Amen." Many of the demigods agreed.

 **"Uncle." Naruto cut his uncle off before he went on one of his tangents. "You can tell me what comic it's like after I find the kids."**

 **"** _ **Or what remains.**_ **"**

 **Naruto glowered. "Yeah."**

 **"** _ **Sorry, Naruto. Truth hurts.**_ **"**

"You all hate me for that." Apollo frowned.

Hermes shrugged. "It is kinda a downer, bro.

"I guess…"

 **"I know, Uncle Fred." Naruto rubbed his head and groaned. "What's your advice?"**

 **"** _ **...Leave it to the police?**_ **"**

 **"Aside from that?"**

 **"** _ **You just love to get me on your mother's bad side, don't you? Ugh, man, if she finds out this was my idea, I'm dead. D-E-A-D. And I really don't want that to happen yet.**_ **"**

"I haven't even completed my bucket list yet!" Apollo wailed.

"But you're immortal." Jason pointed out.

"For how long though?" Apollo asked with a dark smile.

The gods were greatly disturbed by Apollo's amusement at the question.

 **"Uncle..."**

 **There was a heavy sigh on the other end and Naruto grinned. "** _ **You are so lucky you're my only lil' nephew.**_

"What about us?" Hermes pointed all around to the other godly children of Zeus.

"What _about_ you?"

"…Ow." Hermes blinked. That stung more than he thought it would.

 _ **Okay, advice...I'd check the docks.**_ **"**

"Stuff always happens at the docks." Percy nodded.

"They'll be sleeping with the fishes," Nico said with his best Godfather voice.

"Seriously?" Leo asked him.

"Hey, I'm Italian. I can do it."

"…Point to you."

 **"No, the docks are owned by Kingpin. He's into drugs, weapons and human trafficking, not kidnapping and ransom. They'd have to pay a heavy fee to operate there," Naruto said. He grimaced as he recalled his last encounter with Richmond's lord of crime. The fat bastard even looked like Wilson Fisk.**

 **"** _ **Point taken-Wait, did you call him Kingpin? Ha! I knew it! Marvel fan all the way! Next movie, you and me are hitting premiere night here in L.A., no excuses!**_ **"**

"He has his own Kingpin?" Percy asked.

"…Are you jealous?" Annabeth asked.

"A little, yeah." The son of Poseidon admitted.

 **"Yeah, fine, sure. Uncle Fred, focus," Naruto said with a soft groan. His uncle was so excitable sometimes. Sure, it made him awesome to hang out with, but over the phone it was exhausting.**

 **"** _ **Right, right, right, sorry Naruto. Hm...Any suspicious abandoned warehouses?**_ **"**

 **Naruto frowned and walked over his bed to a detailed map of Richmond, including various locations photographed and pinned around the map. "There's an abandoned ironworks near the old Green Manor.**

"So this is before it…blows up." Thalia frowned.

Apollo grimaced.

 **Hey, there's someplace that kids could go missing. Maybe I should check that place out."**

 **"** _ **No!**_ **" The other end went quiet for a moment after 'Fred' shouted. "** _ **No. Naruto, listen to me. Under no circumstances are you to go anywhere near Green Manor.**_ **"**

"Yeah, you could get trapped in there for a rare treasure," Thalia said with a mock cheerful tone.

Zeus looked a bit sheepish at that while Apollo literally dimmed.

 **Naruto was taken aback at the grave tone his uncle had used. He'd never been this serious about something before. It was suspicious. Naruto's eyes narrowed.**

 **"Alright, I won't go to Green Manor. I swear on my mother's oath."**

"…Can he do that?" Apollo asked his sister.

"I-I did not believe so, but it seems one can?" Artemis was just as confused as her twin. That was the first time she had heard such a phrase.

 **That seemed to have satisfied his uncle, as he let out a relaxed sigh. "** _ **Good. Good. Okay, well, aside from that place and the Ironworks. Anywhere else? Some old buildings in Hell's Kitchen, maybe?**_ **"**

 **"Yeah, I should search Hell's Kitchen first." Naruto nodded, his eyes glued to the picture of the abandoned manor. "Good idea. Thanks for the help, Uncle Fred."**

 **"** _ **Anytime, lil' nephew! Hey, but I'm serious about that next movie premiere. I can even set you up with some starlet if you want~! What? Yes, I do know movie stars. How? I'm a producer, baby! Yeah, paying for my nephew's school, too. My lil' sis is busy working all the time, so I'm covering some big financial issues for her. Wanna see some pictures?**_ **"**

"Are you using him to pick up women?" Hera frowned at the sun god.

"Yes." Apollo nodded with no shame.

 **Naruto shook his head. He wasn't going to listen to his uncle butter up some girl. That was gross. "Goodbye, Uncle Fred."**

 **"** _ **Huh? Oh, right. Bye, Naruto! Have a nice one!**_ **"**

 **"You too, Uncle Fred." Naruto waited for the call to end on his uncle's side before he hung up. He looked back at the picture of the abandoned ironworks and then down at the old Green Manor. His brows narrowed and his eyes frosted over. "What are you hiding at the Green Manor, Uncle Fred?"**

"A lot of stuff," Thalia said scathingly.

"Okay, it was bad. Get over it." Apollo groaned.

"I nearly died!"

"Yeah, but you didn't!"

"Enough." Hestia frowned and looked to Reyna with a soft smile. "Continue reading, please."

"Of course my Lady."

 **When his mother's chariot took to the sky again, Naruto made his way to the abandoned ironworks mill. Scrap iron and obvious signs of vandalism were everywhere. The young vigilante scowled behind his cloth mask. Talk about a dump.**

 **It was a perfect place to hide a body. Or hold a kid hostage.**

"Or both," Ares said darkly with a smile.

"Stop that." Zeus told him. Artemis was already biting at the bit.

 **As he walked towards the main building, metal shifted behind him and Naruto turned to face the source, three arrowheads in his left hand between his fingers ready to be thrown. He relaxed once he saw the rat that had shifted the metal. Naruto turned and resumed his stealthy trek to the main building, and as he drew near, he heard voices.**

 **"Yeah, we're gonna have another easy five hundred thou!" A deep voice laughed. "This is the easiest money I've ever made. Even easier than some of White's payoffs!"**

"Ah, the cocky ones, you gotta love 'em." The war god chuckled.

"Like you," Athena said.

"…For once in your life, you should suck a dick."

"Ares!" Hera frowned while Athena glared at her war-loving brother.

The war god just grunted.

 **Naruto crouched down and sneaked up to the side of the brick wall. He peered through a broken portion of the wall and looked through the hole. Three men, dressed in dark clothes, were in the center of the mill. Two were shoveling while a third held a small sack over his shoulder.**

"…Oh that's, that's never good." Nico grimaced.

"No duh." Thalia hissed with an angry look on his face.

 **"And the best part of it is the rest of the guys in the precinct are looking for people with history!" One of the diggers laughed.**

 **Naruto narrowed his eyes. The man's sentence implied that they were cops.**

"Corruption? In the legal system?" Poseidon mock gasped.

"Who would have ever suspected such a thing?" Hades shook his head.

They both looked at Zeus, who glared back at them. "This is _not_ my fault. Mortals are fools."

"Agreed." The two older brothers nodded.

 **That explains why the equipment was faulty and the cops' lies about being discovered. His eyes went to the sack over the third man's shoulder. There was a dark patch on it, barely visible in the light of the men's lanterns.**

 _ **At least we found the bodies.**_

"Wow, this just got super dark." Leo frowned.

"That's life sadly." Nico shrugged.

 **Naruto's nostrils flared behind the cloth mask that hid his birthmarks. He slipped the arrowheads back into his pouch and pulled out six crescent shuriken. He was going to make sure these men suffered before they were delivered to the right authorities.**

 **"Can you hurry up? This stupid thing is getting heavy!" Naruto listened to the corpse carrier complain as he scaled the brick wall quietly and expertly. "My arm's going numb and if I'm not back in time for dinner, the wife's going to kill me."**

"Famous last words." Ares chuckled.

 **"Hey, man, we're digging as fast as we can. Just set the thing down, it's not like anyone's going to see what's inside."**

 _ **Little do they know.**_

 **Naruto crouched atop the edge of the broken wall and prepared his shuriken. The man that held the bag started to set it down. Naruto waited until the man righted himself before he let the first shuriken fly. There was a soft whistle as the crescent shuriken descended on its target. The man who was not digging was struck in the throat and dropped to the ground with strangled gasps.**

Hermes grinned. "Like a ninja."

 **"What the Hell?" One of the diggers looked over at their fallen companion. "Johnny, you all right?"**

 **The concerned digger fell to the ground after a shuriken flew into his cheek. Naruto had wanted to use the arrowheads on them, but these were not animals to be slaughtered.**

"Aww." The war god whined.

 **Not yet anyway.**

"Yeah!" Ares cheered. "Three awesome whiskered punks in a row and one was mine! Love this book!"

Athena snorted. "The first _and_ last time we'll ever hear that sentence come from your mouth, I'm sure."

 **"Sarge!" The other digger threw his shovel down and pulled a pistol from his hip. "C-Come out! Don't mess with us! W-We're workin' for the Kingpin! We're cops on his payroll!"**

"Wow, to just admit it…" Poseidon blinked. "I forget that mortals are just stupid."

 **From his perch and keen eyesight, Naruto could tell it was the standard police issued variant. Naruto's blood boiled. These men –no, these** _ **monsters**_ **swore an oath to protect the people in the city,** _ **his**_ **territory, but chose instead to succumb to their greed. They threatened innocents – killed** _ **children!**_ **– to get what they wanted.**

 **In an instant, Naruto made a new plan.**

"Do tell," Hades said, rather curious of what went on in this mortal's mind.

 **One of these three would live, if only to reveal to the proper authorities where the bodies and Sarah were. The other two would be dealt with immediately. This city was** _ **Naruto's**_ **territory, he was responsible for everyone within it, and he would protect it to his dying breath from scum like these three.**

"Hm, it is decent." Hades praised.

"I like it, more violence is good violence." Ares nodded.

 **Naruto hissed lowly and let his voice echo through the building. "** _ **Monsters!**_ **"**

 **The one he got in the throat joined the other, both had their pistols out and were back to back. Naruto leapt to the overhanging rafters and his movement made a brick fall. The jumpy corrupt cops turned and fired multiple times at his previous location.**

 **"** _ **Murderers!**_ **" Naruto accused before he fell to a closer walkway that hardly creaked when he landed.**

"Mustard!"

Everyone turned to look at Ares.

"What? It needed another M-word."

Athena groaned. "Idiot."

 **"Come out here and show yourself!" The uninjured cop cried out. "W-We're cops! F-For Kingpin! He hired us-!"**

 **"** _ **LIARS!**_ **" Naruto snarled as he jumped to a lower balcony. "** _ **You are not men, you are dogs!**_ **"**

 **"Come out!"**

"You'll get what you wish for," Artemis said with bared teeth.

 **Naruto dropped down and landed on the stomach of the downed criminal, knocking the wind from him and ensuring that he remained unconscious. The two frightened criminals turned on him and pulled their triggers, but the revolvers clicked, signaling the lack of ammunition.**

"It seems they fired _prematurely_."

"Aphrodite, stop it." Hera sighed at the giggling goddess.

 **They dropped their guns and backed away as Naruto rose up to match their height – growth spurts, while painful, paid off – with his cloak draped around him and his hood shadowing his visible features.**

"I am the night…"

"He's Moon Knight, stop comparing him to Batman!" Piper glared at Leo.

"Fine, fine…Marvel fangirl…"

"And proud of it!"

 **"W-We'll just make a plea! A deal! You got nothin' on us! Nothin! They need us to find that other brat!" The one unharmed** _ **thing**_ **(as Naruto had no desire to label what was before him as either man or monster) proclaimed proudly. He-no,** _ **It**_ **held its wrist out and smirked. "We surrender, lock us up!"**

"Wow, he must be dumber than I am." Ares chuckled. "He's dead."

"So you are dumb!"

Ares scowled at the jab he exposed himself to by Jackson. Dammit!

 **The injured thing backed away and reached for the lantern behind him. Naruto threw an arrowhead and watched it tear through the thing's arm. Another arrowhead went through the mouth when it gave a silent scream. It dropped to the ground, coughs escaped the mouth along with blood.**

"Yes, choke, choke on your own blood!"

"Ares stop cackling." Zeus sighed as he got a whine from his son.

 **The uninjured thing fell to his rear and scooted away as Naruto stalked forward, his cloak giving him the appearance of a vengeful spirit. The cowardly thing held its hands out. "What? What are you waiting for! You can't kill us! You gotta arrest us! Arrest me! ARREST ME!"**

 **"No." Naruto growled. His arms shot out and his hands latched onto the coward's shirt. He pulled the thing close so that he could stare it in the eyes while it stared into the shadow that covered his face. "** _ **Men**_ **get arrested.** _ **Dogs**_ **get put down."**

"Badass line, right there," Ares said with a grin.

"Truthful, too." Apollo added.

"Got that right." Thalia agreed. She hadn't seen too many bad things as a hunter, but she knew she would eventually.

Apollo rubbed his chin. "I am having a feeling of Déjà vu with this scene."

Artemis looked on with strict agreement, but the dogs comment was not to her taste as dogs were sacred to her. "It does not matter, Apollo. These filth deserve whatever justice Naruto gives them and worse."

"I know, but still…he's a bit too much like you it feels like."

Artemis arched a brow. "How is this bad?"

"Er…"

 **Naruto turned and threw the thing at a pile of iron scraps. He watched the thing as it was impaled and injured fall to the ground. It tried to crawl away. Naruto stayed on it as it mumbled and whimpered in pain. He stepped down on a shard imbedded in the back of its leg and ignored the scream that came from it.**

 **"Where's the girl?" He demanded.**

 **"A-arrest me!"**

"Um, not seeing that happen bro." Leo shook his head.

 **Naruto snarled and grabbed the thing by the back of its head. He dragged it to the hole that had been dug and tossed it in.**

 **"W-What are you doing!?"**

 **Naruto didn't answer. He reached into his pouch and pulled some excess survival gear that was first given to him when he left his mother's camp. He idly wondered if she'd approve of his actions, then quickly dashed the thought away.**

 **Frankly, Naruto didn't care what his mother thought right now.**

Artemis frowned at this.

 **This was the only justice these things deserved.**

 **Naruto pulled out a small box and looked around. He found a red container near the unconscious third and grabbed it. The thing in the hole saw what he had and began to plead and beg, something about a wife and kids.**

"Wow, yeah, kill him." Poseidon scowled at the image of the pleading man.

 **It only made Naruto angrier.**

 **"You** _ **were**_ **a father. You lost the right to call yourself that when you let that first child** _ **die**_ **."**

"Seriously, that's disgusting." Aphrodite frowned with an angry look in her eyes.

 **The thing burst into sobs as Naruto poured the contents of the red container onto him.**

"Human bonfire!"

"Ares, silence." Zeus said sternly, a cold look in his eyes.

Ares zipped his lip, a mad grin on his face.

 **It was at this moment that the unconscious thing started to come around. Naruto emptied the last of the liquid on the thing and tossed the container aside. He walked over to the bleary thing and grabbed it by the face.**

 **"Are you a sergeant of the Richmond Police District, yes or no?" The thing didn't answer and Naruto growled at it before he shook its head. "Answer me! Yes or no?!"**

 **"Y-Yes."**

"I think he might be stripped, and not the good kind." Aphrodite huffed.

 **Naruto dropped the things head to the ground and searched him for a pistol. He found it along with handcuffs and a cellphone. After he tossed the pistol far away, he forced the thing into being cuffed behind the back. Naruto then dialed the emergency number and turned the speaker phone on.**

 **"** _ **Nine-One-One, what's you're emergency?**_ **"**

 **"C-Cathy! It's Sergeant O'Malley, shield number twe-!"**

 **"Quiet!" Naruto snarled. He glared at the phone. "This message is to be recorded and released to the media or I'll deliver this** _ **man's**_ **remains to the mayor's doorstep."**

"With the Sunday paper!" Hermes added.

Apollo hummed. "That'll put a damper on the Funnies."

"They're really callous about this." Piper murmured to Annabeth.

"To things like this, they can be."

 **"H-Help!"**

 **"Shut up!" Naruto barked at the man in the hole. He grabbed Sergeant O'Malley by the head and lifted him up. "You are going to tell that woman where Sarah is, or I'm going to throw you in the fire next."**

 **"W-What fire?"**

"The one coming in a few seconds," Leo said.

 **"** _ **Fire? Hello? Sergeant O'Malley?!**_ **"**

 **"Tell her what you did!" Naruto snarled. He opened the small box in his other hand and pulled out a match. He dragged it across Sergeant O'Malley's head, igniting it, and held it in front of the thing's eye. "Watch. Carefully."**

"Watch the flame as you are but a moth to its light," Apollo said in a spooky tone.

 **The corrupt sergeant watched in anger that quickly turned to horror as the match was tossed at the doused thing in the hole. The thing lit up in flames and started to scream.**

" _Damn_ , Artemis, you got a real sadist on your hands. Wanna trade?" Ares asked.

"No." The Huntress said with a blank face. It was hard to tell if she approved of the act or not.

 **Naruto looked back at the sergeant, who began to tremble.**

 **"I did it."**

 **"Speak up!" Naruto snarled as he adjusted his hold on the sergeant.**

 **"I DID IT! I KIDNAPPED THE KIDS! I RIGGED THE DROPS! I KILLED THE BRATS ONCE I GOT THE MONEY!"**

 **"** _ **W-what?**_ **"**

 **"Where's Sarah!?" Naruto demanded.**

 **The sergeant glared at him with hate in its eyes. "I hid her in the back of my squad car."**

"Yeah, they tend to run out of air fast. I know from experience." Ares sighed.

"That's, I, ugh." Hera made a cup of some nectar-mixed wine appear at her side and took a drink. She was starting to get a headache from Ares' comments.

 **Naruto glared right back and tightened his grip on its face. He dragged it over to the burning thing and held the back of its head against the fire. "Where** _ **exactly**_ **?"**

 **"Thirtieth Precinct parking lot! Back of the lot! Car number two-two-seven-oh! It burns!"**

 **Naruto pulled its head away from the fire and tossed it to the ground, he kept a foot on its chest to keep it from rolling away. He grabbed the phone and picked it up. He ended speakerphone. "Did you get all of that?"**

 **"** _ **Yes. Sir, what is your location? Where are you? What is your name?**_ **"**

"I have no name," Jason said in a deep voice.

"Needs work." Apollo told the boy.

 **An explosion earned Naruto's attention and he looked out the far window to see a large blaze of fire. He squinted his eyes and made out a few familiar details among the flames.**

 **"The main building of the old ironworks across from the Green Manor. I'd bring a few fire trucks, if I were you."**

"Wow, we were right there." Thalia blinked.

"Wait...that means I was nearby when Naruto did all that," Annabeth said in a quiet voice. She wondered if her other saw anything.

 **Naruto left the corrupt sergeant handcuffed and once again unconscious next to the burnt corpses of his companions. He slipped out through a hole into the next room and left the main building when he heard sirens. He ducked into an alleyway along the building to the far side of the iron works and almost ran into someone as he did.**

 **"Whoa!" His would be collision stopped and backed up. A sword was drawn and pointed at him. The boy was lanky, a bit on the skinny side, and a few inches shorter than himself. Like him, he had blond hair and blue eyes, but there was a glint of some unrecognizable emotion in the boy's eyes.**

"Hey, it's Luke." Percy narrowed his eyes, this scene looked somewhat familiar.

 **Naruto narrowed his eyes as he looked at the weapons pointed his way. The boy's sword was impressive, as was the bronze spear pointed at him. It belonged to a girl a year or two younger than him. She was actually kind of cute, in a punk-like way.**

"Oho?" Aphrodite smiled.

"Well, she did fall hard for the sun, I wonder how she does for the moon." Apollo winked at his sister.

Artemis frowned at this while Thalia sputtered.

"I-You...Th-That was a onetime thing!"

"Uh-Huh." Annabeth grinned at her and looked back at the screen. "Oh, this just got so much better."

"Annie!"

 **She was sort of an extreme contrast of his half-sisters. However, what really drew his attention was her shield strapped on her arm.**

 **He pointed at it. "You have an** _ **ugly**_ **shield."**

 **Probably not the reaction they expected.**

"Say what?" Zeus blinked along with Athena.

 **The girl leaned over to the tall boy. "Isn't he, I dunno, supposed to run screaming at the sight of my shield?"**

"Yes, yes he should." Athena pursed her lips tightly.

"Guess that's why it's called 'Fearless'." Nico chuckled.

"Aptly named," Hades said with a thoughtful hum. He wondered if he could get this mortal to work for him like he had Apollo's son.

 **"Maybe it only works on monsters?" the boy whispered back.**

"No it doesn't." Percy shook his head, that thing was nasty.

 **"Monsters?!" Naruto looked down at the girl's legs, where a young blonde girl, no older than six or seven, hid behind her. Her eyes were a mesmerizing gray that he'd never seen before. There was a weapon in her hands that shook slightly in fear, probably a dagger. Overall, she was a cute kid.**

"She was cute, but now?" Thalia shook her head. "Nope!"

"Shut up." Annabeth pouted at her.

 **"No, Annie, there's no monsters...I think." The boy gave Naruto a wary glance.**

 **Naruto held his hands up cautiously. "I'm not a monster." Slowly his hands reached up to his hood and pulled it back, revealing his hair and eyes. "See?"**

 **"See what? You're still hiding your face!" The girl accused, her electric blue eyes narrowed.**

"Always running her mouth." Nico sighed.

"I do not!"

"Uh-huh."

 **Naruto grimaced behind his cloth. "That's...because I'm severely disfigured."**

 **"Uh-huh, that's believable." The boy raised his sword up slightly.**

"I guess Uncle Fred didn't teach him to lie." Hermes grinned at Apollo, who scowled at him.

"And let him be a scoundrel like his other uncle? Never. Plus, Arte would kill me if I did."

Artemis nodded, she would.

 **"Er...I'm protecting my secret identity?" Naruto tried. He really didn't want to get into a fight with these demigods. And he** _ **knew**_ **they were demigods. He was raised by the Huntress after all, this sort of thing was not new to him. He'd even been there when some demigoddesses accepted his mother's offer.**

 **That made the boy pause. He leaned back to the older girl. "How many monsters are that good with books?"**

 **"I still don't trust him." The girl grumbled with a glare.**

"I didn't trust a lot of people while on the streets." Thalia nodded with her other. You never know when someone would stab you in the back…like Luke.

 **Naruto grimaced at the sound of dogs barking, he was out of time. He gave the demigods a look. "You guys need a place to crash?"**

 **"We're not going to follow you anywhere."**

 **Naruto arched a brow and risked a look back at the main building. There were several canine units on the scene, and the living** _ **thing**_ **was being escorted to an armored car. He looked back at the three. "So, you'd rather deal with mortal police, then?"**

"Seems like you just lost that one, Thalia." Jason pointed out.

"Thanks Jay. Thanks."

 **The two older kids tensed while the little girl, Annie, ducked behind the older girl's leg. "I don't wanna go home!"**

Annabeth frowned at her little self. Gods, so much has changed now.

 **"I know, Annie." The older girl shushed her. She glared back at Naruto. Her nose looked kinda cute scrunched up like that. "Listen** _ **pal**_ **, the second you try something..."**

"I'm sure he could take you down."

"Lady Artemis." Thalia frowned.

"I _did_ train him after all."

The hunter relented to that with a begrudging huff.

 **"Gut me. Yeah, I get it." Would not be the first time a girl threatened him with bodily harm. Some Hunters were told to keep away from him after one threat got too...detailed.**

"What a terrible environment for that poor boy." Aphrodite frowned.

"It's not that bad." Artemis argued sternly.

"For a girl? No. For a boy to be surround by some much hate? The poor, poor boy."

"I have to agree with her, Artemis." Athena nodded begrudgingly. "Recall how Zoë treated Naruto in the last tale. Imagine having that shown to you while you grew up."

Artemis scowled at the compelling argument and then fumed at the condescending smirk that found its way onto Aphrodite's face.

 **Naruto shook the memory off and pulled his hood up. "C'mon, there's a sewer we can go through. It'll help conceal your scents."**

 **"Our what?" Annie asked.**

"Annabeth." The blonde protested.

"Annie is cuter."

"Thalia!"

 **"I'll explain later." The older boy lowered his sword slightly, his wary gaze locked on Naruto.**

 **Naruto shook his head and began to walk away. "Just follow me."**

 **Naruto led the three demigods back to the heart of Hell's Kitchen and snuck them into his apartment. There, he got out a lot of portions of food and offered the bathroom to whoever needed it. Annie disappeared in there first,**

Leo snickered. "Little kids, little bladder."

"I remember a few incidences." Thalia grinned at Annabeth and Jason.

"Thalia!" Annabeth hissed out with a red face. "Shut up!"

"Hm, maybe."

Jason just did his best to avoid the look on his sister's face.

 **with the older girl acting as guard to the bathroom. Poor little kid slipped and nearly fell into the sewer water if the other boy hadn't caught her.**

"I could dry you, but the smell…"

Annabeth swatted Percy's shoulder as he grinned at her.

 **While the boy checked the food for possible poisons, if the way he was sniffing meant anything, Naruto went into his room to quickly change into running shorts and a loose orange shirt. When he emerged, the blond and the girl stared at him and he sighed. "They're birthmarks. I don't know why I have them. Please don't ask."**

 **"...So, Whiskers..." The girl smirked when Naruto groaned at the nickname.**

The goddess of love tittered. "Even the same nickname..."

"Lady Artemis, tell her to stop!" Thalia whined about Aphrodite's teasing.

"It is amusing." Artemis smiled lightly, which got a stunned look from her hunter.

No one noticed the quick and subtle twitch in Zeus' eye as he was reminded of his daughter's...relationship in the other series.

 **"Why are you helping us?"**

 **Naruto grabbed an apple from the pile the boy was making and plopped down on his couch. "Because you're demigods. You guys** _ **always**_ **need help."**

 **"I don't** _ **always**_ **need help!" The girl shot back heatedly.**

"Yeah, that's a jab at her independence." Jason nodded sarcastically.

"Yeah!" Thalia agreed, not noticing Jason was making fun of her.

 **"Thalia, chill," the boy hissed lowly.**

 **Naruto arched a brow. "Wasn't that the name of a daughter of Zeus?"**

 **The girl, Thalia, glared at the older boy. "Way to go, Luke. Now he knows our names."**

 **"You didn't have to tell him mine!" Luke protested with a frown.**

Hermes shook his head. "Rookies, the both of you."

 **Thalia ignored him and glared back at Naruto. "Yeah. I'm Thalia. Daughter of Zeus."**

 **Oh.**

 **That's bad.**

 **That's** _ **really**_ **bad.**

"Really, really bad." Percy nodded.

 **Naruto thankfully didn't let his concern show – thank you Uncle Fred for teaching poker – and calmly bit into his apple. "Really? So, you can fly and stuff, right?"**

 **Thalia's cheeks reddened and she looked away slightly. "Sure, yeah, whatever."**

"Yeah, and I'm _not_ a major babe magnet." Leo rolled his eyes.

Thalia snorted. "You're not."

"Your opinion doesn't count."

 **"She's better with lightning bolts and static electricity," Luke said.**

 **If Naruto hadn't caught Thalia's reaction, he wouldn't have known Luke was covering for her. The young vigilante took another bite of his apple. "That's cool. What about you?"**

 **Luke gained a light grimace. "Hermes."**

"…Daddy loves you, too."

"Ha-ha, he hates you!" Ares jeered.

 **Well, it seemed both of them had daddy issues. Then again, Naruto wasn't really one to talk. He wanted to punch his father square in the face when he met the man, be it if he was alive or dead. Seriously, letting his pregnant wife get so injured and then leaving his son to wander aimlessly? So not cool.**

"Minato did sort of screw the pooch on that one." Apollo nodded. "Probably sealed the fox into him, too. What a dick move..."

"Weren't you Minato?" Artemis asked, ever so innocently.

Apollo blanched as he realized he just insulted his alternate self. "…Thanks sis, thanks a lot."

 **"Are you a demigod?" Luke asked. Naruto stopped mid bite and considered his next course of action. The two had already tensed when he paused, and he was pretty sure he saw Thalia reaching for her hidden spear. Naruto finished his bite before he answered.**

 **"I'm not a demigod." He watched them and waited for them to react. It seemed as though they were going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Awesome. "I am one hundred percent human."**

 **"But you can see our weapons?" Thalia narrowed her eyes.**

"So suspicious."

Thalia glared at Nico. "It keeps you alive, dweeb."

"Or jumping at shadows."

 **"Yes."**

 **"How?"**

 **Naruto took another bite of his apple. "I'm clear-sighted."**

 **"Clear-sighted?" The two frowned in confusion.**

 **Naruto nodded. "Clear-sighted. The Mist, the thing that makes mortals not see monsters or weapons, does not affect me. I was born with the ability, and was taught how to ignore or avoid monsters that I had no reason to fight."**

 **"And if you couldn't ignore or avoid them?" Thalia pried.**

 **Naruto finished his apple and tossed it in an arc so it landed perfectly in the trash can across the room. He grinned. "I've got ways of self-preservation."**

"To hunt!"

"Artemis, calm yourself." Hestia chided.

The huntress flushed. "Ah, yes, sorry."

 **"...Okay, not gonna lie, that was a nice shot." Luke praised.**

"Now if only his father could do that."

"Let it go, man!" Hermes frowned at Apollo.

 **"Thanks. My uncle taught me how to do that."**

 **The door to the bathroom opened and the little girl named Annie came out with a smile on her face, despite her hair being slightly wet. "I'm all done, can I eat now?"**

"Of course you can!" Hazel cooed at the image.

Annabeth flushed. "Please stop."

"You are so cute," Piper said with a grin.

"Stop it. Now." The blonde glared at her friends.

 **Despite himself, Naruto smiled at her cuteness. He caught a glare from Thalia, who then gave him the 'watching you' signal, before she ducked into the bathroom to clean up next. Naruto's attention returned to Luke and Annabeth. He watched Luke prepare food for her and laugh at her observations. Naruto learned she was a daughter of Athena, and then found himself assaulted by hundreds of facts about various locations in Virginia.**

Percy smiled at Annabeth whose cheeks were burning pink now.

"Shut up." She mumbled miserably.

Percy just kissed her cheek.

 **When Thalia finished in the restroom, Luke went next. Thalia was far more pleasant to Annie, or Annabeth as the girl insisted her name was. It was understandable, the horrors of real life were to be hidden from children, as much as they could be. That's what Zoë said anyway.**

 **A few hours passed before the group went to sleep. Thalia insisted the other two sleep while she took the first watch. Thalia's eyes were on Naruto like a hawk as he cleaned the small mess the demigods made.**

 **"I don't mind it, you know." Thalia jumped slightly when Naruto spoke.**

 **Thalia's eyes narrowed. "Mind what?"**

"That he can read your mind!" Leo gasped.

"Mind Freak," Percy said and the two laughed, bumping fists.

 **"Your distrust. I've seen it before," Naruto said with a smile. He put the dishes on the rack and dried his hands with a towel. "You three aren't the first demigods I've met."**

 **"I figured that." Thalia scoffed. She looked around the apartment. There was a significant absence of family pictures. "So...you live with your uncle?"**

 **"Nope."**

 **Thalia blinked. "Mom? Dad?"**

 **Naruto plopped down on the couch and stretched, his back popped. "Nope. Left mom when I was twelve."**

"More like when girls started to smell nice." Apollo snickered.

Artemis frowned at this, but it was true. She mostly had to make him leave.

 **"You ran away?"**

 **"I** _ **left**_ **." Naruto corrected sternly. His jaw flexed slightly as he laid his head back and let his eyes fall shut. "Had to."**

 **Thalia narrowed her eyes. "Why?"**

 **Naruto let a faint smile cross his face, his eyes still closed. "My sisters were starting to drive me nuts."**

"Ugh, I bet," Jason said. "I bet mine would drive me nuts, too."

"Watch it, Jay." Thalia frowned. "I know where you sleep."

"In my cabin." Aphrodite tittered.

"He'd best not!" Thalia glared at her brother and his girlfriend.

The two flushed bright red and quickly returned with "I don't/He doesn't!"

"Yet~!" Aphrodite giggled as the two turned a darker shade of red.

 **"...You have sisters?" Naruto cracked an eye open at the soft tone in Thalia's voice. There was a lot of hurt she was trying to hide.**

 **"Yeah. Older sisters." Naruto let another grin cross his face as he looked at her. "They're awesome. A bit...hardheaded sometimes, but they've got good hearts."**

 **"...D...Did you hate them?"**

 **Naruto let his head roll back and stared at the ceiling. "No. I love them. And I'm a bit jealous of them."**

"He wants a hug." Apollo nodded in understanding. He pouted at his twin. "Arte never hugs me anymore."

Artemis huffed. "For clear reason. Who knows what you've picked up. You probably have the same amount of, if not more, diseases on you as Aphrodite."

"That's a dirty lie!" Aphrodite hissed. She had no diseases! She was a goddess!

"Sure..." Artemis smirked at the bright face of the goddess of lust. She was too easy, in more ways than one.

 **"Why?"**

 **Naruto closed his eyes again and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "...They got to stay with my mom..."**

 **He had a lot of hurt to hide, too.**

"So alike, so need to hook up." Aphrodite smiled, now that she had calmed down and could focus on another universe's love story.

"They are children," Artemis said sternly to the love goddess.

"What? Is Naruto going to be a virgin, too?" Aphrodite tittered. Artemis refused to answer her fellow goddess and ignored her brother's horrified look. The smile on the goddess of love's face faltered.

Apollo turned to Aphrodite. "Dite, do something!"

Aphrodite turned to Thalia. "Thalia, do something!"

Thalia groaned and looked to Hades. "Kill me."

"No." Hades smirked, this was far more entertaining.

 **"You should wake Luke up and get some sleep, if you want Annabeth to get a full night's rest."**

 **After a few moments of silence passed by, Thalia quietly decided to follow his advice.**

 **The next evening (since the demigods needed all the sleep they could get), Naruto changed back into his usual night gear, his hood and mask in place. If the two older demigods asked why he had decided to wear it, he would tell them that it would be to keep the young impressionable Annabeth's mind clear of worry, seeing as she thought that knowing a real superhero was cool – and she found his collection of Moon Knight Comics.**

"Very impressionable." Piper nodded. She pouted at her friend. "So jealous you know a Moon Knight!"

Annabeth frowned at her for the earlier teasing.

 **If his Uncle Fred decided to ask, it would be because the clothes attracted girls, because he was 'mysterious'.**

Apollo gave two thumbs up. "Atta boy! Make uncle proud!"

Artemis punched his arm.

 **If his mother were to ask, it would be to better hide when he needed to.**

Artemis hummed in thought before she nodded in acceptance.

 **In reality, it was because Naruto felt more comfortable leaving town with his most prized possessions on hand.**

 **"So, is there any reason you decided to come with us?" Thalia asked the cloaked boy that walked ahead of them. He volunteered to lead them out personally instead of just give directions. It was suspicious.**

 **"I needed to stretch my legs. Hang on." Naruto stopped by a newspaper dispenser and purchased a paper from the day before. The demigods hurried after him as he kept walking. He looked at the front page and smirked behind his mask.**

"I'm cleaning this city, one piece of trash at a time," Apollo said in a deep voice.

 **"What're you reading?" Luke asked.**

 **Naruto crumpled the paper up and tossed it into the next trash bin, his eyes twinkled happily. "Just some good news."**

 **Luke lingered and reached into the trash bin while Naruto, Thalia and Annabeth walked on. He pulled the paper out and read the title story with furrowed brows. The front page had three pictures. One was of a tearful girl around Annabeth's age with brown hair being pulled from the trunk of a police car by an EMT. The other was of two body bags. The last was a mug shot of a beaten man scowling at the camera.**

"That poor girl." Demeter frowned as Artemis looked ready to explode.

"Nice mug shot." Ares grinned. "Mine are better though."

 **"'Kills Corrupt Cops, Stops Kidnapping/Child Murder Plot: Vigilante At Large'?" Luke frowned and read through the article. "'Last night, emergency response was called at two twenty-one by unknown male. Response dispatch on duty overheard torture, murder and admittance of guilt by former police Sgt. Jacob O'Malley (34). This led to the rescue of Sarah Fischer, 8, who was kidnapped three days ago. Gregory Fischer, 28, who was found beaten earlier that night, admitted to attempted robbery under blackmail, full story page A-ten' What is-?"**

"The power that demigods could do," Hermes said. He looked at the demigods. "Why haven't you kids ever tried to be super heroes?"

"We just saved the world. Again." Percy pointed out. "We're on break."

"Fair enough."

 **"Come on, Luke!" The demigod looked up at Annabeth's cry. The girl had her hand wrapped tightly around Thalia's, who looked to be in a quiet conversation with Naruto.**

"So what do you like? I like girls with blue eyes. Wow! What are the odds? I like guys with blue eyes. We should kiss."

Thalia glared at Leo and held a sparking hand up while Aphrodite giggled behind them.

"I swear, if Jay didn't know you…I'd fry you."

"Thank you Jason!" Leo said with a grateful grin.

 **Luke flipped through the paper, found the page with the story and ripped it out. He folded it up and then raced after his group.**

"Obvious tension for the next chapter." Frank hummed.

 **Naruto heard Luke stop before everyone else, but said nothing. If he did, it would only be more suspicious. Warning brought curiosity, curiosity made distrust, and distrust led to fear. He didn't want Luke to be afraid of him. Not unless it was necessary.**

"He's a guy after all." Nico nodded.

 **Naruto lead the three demigods to the edge of the city through back alleys and side streets. They'd managed to avoid the sewers this time. At the edge of the city, Luke gave Naruto a questioning glance as well as a firm handshake. Thalia nodded to him, which he returned, and Annabeth gave him a quick hug, thanking him for his help. Naruto gave her a pat on the head and a copy of one of his Moon Knight comics.**

Piper gasped and glared at Annabeth.

"Oh, grow up!"

 **Once Naruto was sure they'd made it at least two miles out from the city, he raced into the woods after them. The heat was too hot in the Kitchen, so he did as often warned and left. Naruto found a family that needed more protection than anyone else in his territory,**

"So caring for little maidens." Aphrodite smiled widely.

Artemis glared at her. "Of course he would. Nothing romantic about it!"

"Until he swoops in and saves the damsel in distress."

Annabeth frowned while Thalia glared at the goddess. "I am not a damsel!"

"Hush, Annabeth. Percy is your knight and in this instance, Naruto will be Thalia's once again."

Thalia crossed her arms and grumbled as Annabeth consented to Aphrodite's logic, sharing a smile with her boyfriend.

 **and he was sure that criminals would think twice after the trials took place.**

 **There was something he felt he was forgetting, though. Oh well, it probably wasn't that important.**

 **The phone rang. And rang. And rang. Then it clicked. Naruto's voice came from the voicemail. "I'm not home. Leave a message."**

 **There was a nervous laugh. "** _ **Alright, Lil' Nephew, you've had your fun. Answer the phone. ...Naruto? Kiddo? Seriously, Uncle Fred is telling you to pick the phone up. Pick up the phone, Naruto. ...Oh, man...Artemis is going to kill me.**_ **"**

"Yes, I am."

"It's not my fault he decided to leave!" Apollo shouted and pointed at Thalia. "Blame her and her womanly wiles!"

"My what?!" Thalia snapped.

"You draw blonds to yourself like a flame draws in moths! Admit it!"

"You're-!

"Anyway!" Reyna cut in loud enough before Thalia got herself in trouble. "I am finished," she said and closed the book.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **AN: This is a sneak peak at the reading of Traveller's Son.**

 **Reading: Traveller's Son**

* * *

"Yes, it is my time to shine!" Hermes pumped his fist into the air.

"We get it, Herm. We get it," Apollo said with a roll of his eyes. His book was still missing!

"Well, we all know that he needs this after his other kid tried to end the world," Ares said.

He got a middle finger from Hermes. "Screw you, Ares. You're just jealous that my kid will be cooler than yours."

"I have a complaint." Zeus frowned. He gestured to himself and his brothers. "Why must _we_ wait for the reading of our children?"

"Because our kids need attention too." Hermes proclaimed. The other Olympians nodded. It was always about the Big Three kids. They needed their time to shine after all.

"Enough with the squabbling. Someone read." Demeter sighed.

"I'll take it." Percy said and the book floated over to his hand. "The Traveller's Son, chapter one."

 **In a cave on the side of Mount Cyllene, a woman hummed as she brushed her hair. Curtains of yellow were brushed softly, each stroke made them brighter than the last until they nearly matched the same radiance of the sun.**

Apollo cleared his throat in offense.

Hermes gave him a smug grin. "It's true."

 **The brush, made of bronze and detailed with an eagle on the back,**

Hera frowned at her husband. Zeus ignored the look and continued to play innocent while he listened to the story.

 **was set on a wooden desk as a gust of wind made itself known. The woman allowed a smile to cross her face.**

 **"Why, it's been a while since you've come to visit me, Hermes," she said as she turned in her seat to face the god in question.**

"I'm always busy, damn internet." Hermes frowned, he felt bad now. He needed to get some time off and visit his mom.

 **Golden eyes met with sky blue orbs filled with despair and her smile vanished. "My son, what troubles you?"**

 **"Mother," Hermes said softly as he walked in. He was dressed traditionally as a Greek god was expected to be, sandals, simple cloth and bronze armor,**

Apollo arched a brow. "A bit traditional, isn't it, Herm?"

"I like it." The messenger god huffed.

 **but in his left arm, opposite of the right which wielded the Caduceus, was a bundle that fit snugly where it lay.**

"The law." Zeus frowned at his son.

"I have an excuse. I think." Hermes muttered the second part. He was already on thin ice with the whole Luke debacle. Gods were petty about stuff like that.

 **Hermes approached his mother, the goddess Maia, with a look of depression etched in his face. "I don't know where else to go...My son, born of a woman I thought already had given birth, is now motherless."**

"…What?" Percy asked, he didn't understand that.

"I thought she gave birth, but she really didn't yet and died during childbirth." Hermes explained in a soft voice.

Percy winced at that. "Oh."

 **Maia frowned and stood. She approached her son and peered down at the occupant of the bundle, a babe with hair as yellow as her own and skin as fair as her son's slept easily in Hermes' arm. The only thing off about him were the faint marks that looked like whiskers.**

"Naruto," the gods and demigods said as one. The whiskers were the giveaway.

 **With a light coo, she took the babe and traced his face with her hand. "He's precious, Hermes...What happened to the mother?"**

 **"Childbirth proved to be too much after ten months of carrying him," Hermes said with a guilty frown.**

"That's abnormal." Artemis muttered to herself.

"Happened in my Naruto. And in Aphrodite's," Apollo said nonchalantly.

Aphrodite grimaced. "My poor other. Ten months as a mortal with a baby inside her..."

"And a demonic force." Athena added.

 **"I had assumed she would be like the other mortals and left her alone at the due date."**

"Since when?" Artemis glared at her younger brother. All mothers wanted the father to be present at the birth.

"Uh, experience." Hermes twiddled his thumbs.

Artemis scowled and crossed her arms as she looked away. "Idiot."

Hermes bowed his head in shame.

 **"Assumptions, dear, assumptions," Maia said chidingly. She looked up and put a hand on Hermes face. "I will care for him."**

"Can she do that?" Leo whispered to Annabeth.

"She's done it before." Annabeth returned softly. "Arcas, the king of Arcadia."

Hera scowled and glared at Zeus, who ignored it dutifully. Two infidelities mentioned in one story, thus far it was not the queen's favorite.

 **Hermes lit up and took his mother's hand in his own. He left a kiss on her palm and smiled at her. "Thank you, Mother. His mother named him Naruto."**

"Copycat." Apollo huffed with a frown.

"I know." Aphrodite nodded.

"Copying is another sign of flattery." Hermes returned with a smile. He got nods of agreement from the two and smirked. Too easy.

 **Maia's golden brow arched up. "An oriental name?"**

 **"Kushina Uzumaki was exotic," Hermes said with a sheepish shrug. "Red haired, fair skinned...oddly named. You know, like a rare gem."**

 **"Greedy boy," Maia said with a smile as she took her hand back and returned her attention to Naruto. "Off with you, Hermes. I'm sure there's a delivery to be made somewhere."**

"Yeah, do your job!"

Hermes glared at Ares, who grinned back.

 **"Farewell, Mother," Hermes said. He stole one last glance at his son and then turned to leave. Hermes vanished with another gust of wind and Maia sighed.**

 **"Poor boy, first May's curse**

"Oh, this is after that." Percy muttered, double ouch.

 **and now the loss of a mother," Maia said with a sad frown. She brushed her hand over Naruto's whiskered face and smiled. "But at least he knows how to care for his children. A mortal orphanage would've eaten you up!"**

"Literally." Hades nodded, sometimes mortal parents couldn't take the fact they had a monster magnet and left them in orphanage. Monsters loved to work there.

 **The baby fussed about lightly and Maia calmed him with a touch. "Now, now, none of that. Grandmother is here."**

 **Maia rocked the baby back to a settled sleep and went over to where she kept mementos from the past. A small simple bronze crib set off to the side was pulled off and dusted with a wave of her hand.**

"It's the jail Herm escaped from." Apollo noted lightly.

"Ha. Ha." Hermes rolled his eyes.

"Did she get it god proofed?" Leo asked.

"I don't think so," Frank said.

"She should ask for a refund."

 **Maia smiled down at the babe that slept peacefully in her arms and carefully laid him in the crib. "There we go...You look just like your father, Naruto."**

"Except his father was a turtle killer at his age of a few hours old." Demeter sniffed.

Hermes winced. "I was young and didn't know any better!"

Apollo let out a bark of laughter. "That's been your excuse since day one!"

"Shut up, Apollo!"

 **Naruto gurgled in his sleep and Maia giggled. Much like Hermes, the baby was a natural attention thief. She rubbed her hand over Naruto's light hair and leaned down to kiss his head. "Sleep, little maelstrom. May Morpheus grant you pleasant dreams."**

 **Content that her grandson was rested, Maia returned to her desk and began to search through it for a notebook. When she found it, Maia cracked the book open and began to write down a list of things to obtain from the nearby town. Unlike herself, Naruto was half mortal and needed mortal nourishment in order to survive. With a list of things to obtain, Maia donned the appearance of a mortal and left the cave, but not before she set up a barrier to keep monsters from getting in while she was away.**

"Got to love that power." The gods smiled.

The demigods on the other hand sulked, that would be a useful thing to have passed down to them.

 **About an hour after Maia left, Naruto awoke. Blue eyes wandered the roof of the cave, curious about the environment around him.**

"He wouldn't," Hazel said.

"No way." Piper waved off.

 **The eyes landed on the side of the crib and Naruto reached out for it with a coo. A tiny pudgy hand grabbed the side and, rather intellectually, clung to it tightly. Within a few minutes, Naruto had rolled onto his side and latched on with the other hand. After he experimented with his hands for a bit, Naruto discovered that his arms bent and could be used to pull himself towards the edge. Now, one would think that this was rather fast for an infant newly born, but then again, one had to consider that this infant was born of a god and an exotic woman.**

Hermes' chest puffed up in pride while Apollo glowered at him.

 **So, it's not too much to expect the boy to discover that he could leave the crib. It took him a total of fifteen minutes, but Naruto managed to pull himself over the edge of the crib and land on his back on the ground.**

"That's my boy!" Hermes cheered.

"He could have gotten hurt, Hermes." Artemis glared at the god. She was the goddess of childbirth and all infants were under her domain, be it boy or girl, and an injury to any was a slight to her.

"Honestly." Hera frowned as well. She was a mother after all.

Hermes looked sheepish. "I'm sure he's fine...I mean, I was."

"You're a god." Artemis pointed out. "He is not."

While the gods debated the subject of a demigod infant escaping his crib, Leo whistled. "That's one smart baby."

Percy turned to Annabeth. "Think you did that?"

Annabeth shook her head. "I was smart enough to stay in my crib."

"Right." Nico rolled his eyes.

 **Surprisingly, the cave's floor wasn't hard rock as one would expect, but a soft, thick, layer of sand that acted as a cushion to the infant's fall.**

The females in the room gave off a sigh of relief. They were relieved that the baby was unharmed.

"See? Told you he'd be okay." Hermes buffed his nails on his chest.

 **With his freedom, the whiskered babe laughed joyfully and squirmed around on the ground. However, he was still limited to one spot, which was just not acceptable, and the baby started to fuss. His arms smacked the floor and his legs kicked awkwardly at the air.**

"Look at him go!" Hermes beamed.

"He's breakdancing." Piper cooed, it was so cute!

Reyna gave a soft smile at the scene, it was adorable.

 **It was at this scene that Maia returned.**

"The warden's back." Apollo's comment earned him a glare from Hermes.

 **"Naruto!" The grandmother dropped her grocery bags and rushed to the baby's side. She picked him up and rocked him while he cried. "Shh, shh...There, there, little maelstrom. It's okay...it's okay..."**

"Best name ever."

"Ugh." Zeus groaned at Poseidon's smirk.

 **As the infant calmed Maia looked to the crib and wondered if it had been cursed.**

"Should've kept the receipt." Hephaestus shook his head.

"Right?!" Leo nodded in agreement.

 **"First Hermes and now you...Well, at least you didn't crawl to Thessaly."**

"Oh come on mom!"

* * *

 **"Why do they keep following us!?" Naruto asked his friend. True to his word, once they left the restaurant Billy led Naruto out of the city and then ditched his disguise. The tennis shoes on his feet came off and the satyr pitched the metal poles around his arms. Unfortunately, once they left the city, the winged snakes – which Billy said were Arabian in origin, due to their six feet in length and the two sets of feathered wings; he figured they must've migrated back after the winter left – found them and resumed their chase.**

"Arabian night~" Apollo sang softly. "Like Arabian day~"

"No." Artemis told him sternly.

"Oh, come on!"

Artemis glared at him.

"Fine!" Apollo pouted like a child. "Spoilsport."

 **Billy, who had to restrain himself from leaving the blond in the dust, panted and ducked under another serpent's dive. "It's because you smell!"**

 **Naruto frowned and quickly juked left to avoid a serpent and a tree, the serpent didn't have the same luck as he did. "But I take baths all the time!"**

"Never understood that." Percy admitted.

 **"No, Naruto, your blood smells!" Billy grabbed the boy's arm to pull him back on the right trail.**

 **"Oh!" Naruto nodded and then frowned. "...But that doesn't make sense!"**

"Right?"

"Oh Percy." Annabeth sighed.

"There, there Annie." Thalia consoled her friend with a pat on the back and an amused grin on her face.

Annabeth gave her a dull glare.

 **"That's the summary of our life for you, deal with it!" Billy pulled Naruto down just as another serpent chose to dive at them. "You didn't pick up** ** _any_** **weapons to use?"**

"Yes, a club. Like a certain barbarian." Hera nodded.

 **"Well, I've got one..." Naruto said.**

 **Billy stared at him for a moment. "What!? Why aren't you using it? We could kill these things and then go without trouble!"**

 **"It's too light!" Naruto said. "The guy I got it from said it was bronze, but it was way too light to be bronze!"**

"I might have locked onto him and adjusted itself to be lighter for him." Annabeth theorized.

"Spoils are good like that." Thalia nodded in agreement.

 **Billy gaped at Naruto. "Guy? Naruto show me the weapon."**

 **"Okay...but you'll think it's useless..." Naruto said. He pulled his bag around and unzipped it. He reached in and begun to dig around in his bag. "Nope...no that's bread...that's an apple...that's my quarters..."**

 **"Hurry up, I think they're circling around us," Billy said. He kept his eyes on the snakes and swallowed at them.**

 **Naruto strained to stretch his arm in deeper. "I think...yeah, there it is! Almost got it..."**

 **"Come on...How deep is that bag?" Billy asked urgently.**

"Oh, I have to deal with that _all_ the time." Aphrodite sighed, a hand on her cheek.

 **"Grandmother said it was never ending," Naruto said with a grunt. "Got it!"**

 **The blond pulled out the bronze club that Periphetes once used and Billy stared at it in shock. Naruto held it out to Billy. "Here, see? It's too light to be bronze."**

 **The satyr grabbed the club, but once Naruto let go, he fell to the ground with a wheeze. That club had to weigh at** ** _least_** **two hundred and fifty pounds!**

"…Or he has quite the arm," Annabeth said dryly.

 **Billy let go of the club and looked at Naruto in disbelief. "Naruto, this** ** _is_** **Celestial Bronze! How the heck can you carry all of it!?"**

 **Naruto frowned. "It's really light."**

 **"Trust me, it isn't," Billy said with a groan. He let go of the club and rubbed his arm. "I think I almost dislocated my shoulder..."**

"Baby." Ares scoffed.

"He's a satyr, they're not exactly built for brute strength," Hermes said.

"Tch, whatever. Goats are only good for dinner."

 **Naruto grabbed the club and once more lifted it with ease. "But if it's so heavy, why can I lift it up?"**

 **"Well, your dad was said to-Wait, swing it around! Swing it now!" Billy dropped to the ground and covered his head as Naruto spun and swung the club. A winged snake that had its maw opened wide was suddenly sent soaring in the opposite direction by the blow. It dissolved into dust midair and the other three snakes hissed in anger.**

"And it's a homerun!" Percy called out.

"Go Yankees!" Annabeth cheered.

 **"Naruto, do you know what baseball is?" Billy asked from where he was on the ground.**

 **"Yeah, its where you hit a ball with a stick, right?" Naruto had seen a game with his class in first grade and had even played it once. But he had to sit out the next game because he was accused of cheating.**

"…How do you cheat in baseball besides steroids?" Leo asked.

"Kids are stupid." Nico pointed out.

"Oh, right."

 **It wasn't his fault he ran faster than the other kids in school! ...Or that he actually stole second base...He didn't know that they didn't mean it literally!**

"Only a child of Hermes." The gods muttered.

Hermes, however, looked quite proud.

 **"The other snakes are balls, swing away! Go for the grand slam little man!" Billy cheered.**

"Little man, perfect name." Leo snickered.

"Gosh darn it, that was your name!"

"…Shut up, Gemmy." Leo glared at the smiling Hazel.

 **The satyr watched the nine-year-old swing when the serpents tried to dive at him all at once. The bat flew through the air and connected with a loud crack with the first snake. The second had a similar sound as did the third, but it oddly sounded like when you clapped two halves of a coconut together, due to the collision of the heads.**

"Like horses galloping." Athena smiled a little.

Poseidon glared at her. Damn Apollo for that Monty Python Grail movie.

Even if it was genius.

 **The snakes turned to dust, their skulls likely shattered from the impact, and small bottles of dark liquid were left behind in their absence. Billy got to his hooves and pat Naruto on the shoulder with a grin on his face. "Nice job, Naruto! You'd be a shoo-in for the Yankee's one day."**

"Second basemen." Annabeth guessed.

"That was quick." Piper raised her brow.

Annabeth shrugged. "He'll have the build if he's like the other kids of Hermes I've seen."

"Maybe we should get you a scouting position." Percy laughed at his own joke.

He failed to notice that Annabeth looked like she was considering it.

 **Naruto shrugged and dropped his club to the side. "I don't really like baseball. It's no fun."**

 ** _Yeah, I'll bet._** **Billy thought with a chuckle. The satyr gathered up all of the bottles and brought them back to Naruto so he could put them in his bag.**

 **"What are they?" Naruto asked as he held one up.**

 **"Arabian Winged Serpent venom," Billy said. "The poison is one of the most deadly in the world. You could trade these for a high price at camp or save them for later. Heck, I'm sure Apollo wouldn't mind an offering of one. It could get you something nice one day."**

"I do like testing venom." Apollo rubbed his chin.

 **"Why don't I just give one to him?" Naruto asked with a tilt of his head. His eyes looked up at the sun. Before Billy could stop him, Naruto held the vial up. "I don't really want anything, but here!"**

"Well, that's generous of him," Apollo said as Hermes smirked at him. He huffed. "Much more generous than his father."

"That's a lie!"

"Ha! In your face! I can't lie!"

 **The bottle vanished from existence with a small pop and Billy shook his head. "That wasn't very smart, Naruto. You could've used that someday."**

 **"I have three other ones, and besides, he's my uncle right? Grandmother said you should always be nice and give gifts to your family," Naruto said as he put the other three in his bag. "And Dad gave him the lyre."**

"To save his hide." Hades smirked while Hermes looked sheepish.

"Meh, I worked with it." Apollo shrugged as he pulled out his lyre. A look from Artemis and he dismissed it.

 **Billy rubbed his face. "Yeah...sure he did. Whatever, kid. It's your trophy, I guess I shouldn't tell you what to do with it."**

 **Naruto zipped his bag up and pulled it back on. He looked at Billy curiously as he carried his club on his shoulder. "So, why is the club so light for me, but so heavy for you?"**

 **"My guess is it's because of your father's strength," Billy said as they started to walk once more. "Your father was said to create the first tortoise by lifting a nymph's house from the ground over his head and tossing it atop her. He cursed her to always carry it with her because she refused to leave it when Zeus called all the animals to a meeting."**

"Our wedding." Hera corrected sternly.

"Ah, the happy years." Hades nodded mockingly. He ignored the glare from the married couple.

 **"Ohh...So I can lift a house?" Naruto asked. If that were the case, he could just carry his home whenever he traveled.**

"…That was a Percy moment right there." Thalia muttered.

"Hey!"

 **"I wouldn't try it," Billy said. "You probably got a small fraction of Hermes' strength."**

 **"Aw...Well, maybe at camp I can get stronger!" Naruto said with a bright smile. Billy laughed and ruffled his hair.**

 **"That I've no doubt about," the satyr said with a smile.**

* * *

 **The fifteen-year-old Naruto Uzumaki was back in the Big Apple, the teenager wide-awake at the ungodly hour of eight o'clock. He had jimmied the lock to a small apartment on the edge of the East River and now relaxed on the couch with Kurama in his lap. He had a good few days to spend here before he had to be on his way, as the owner would return from his trip soon.**

"House squatting?" Thalia asked, "Seriously?"

Hermes shrugged. "Hey, if you got the skills, use them."

 **His arms stretched above his head and he listened to the stock exchange report on CNN. The newscaster was relatively pretty, though she looked like a younger Sigourney Weaver with shorter lighter hair.**

 **"Man, Motorola needs to get itself together." Naruto took a sip of the coffee he had made earlier. Commercials came on and Kurama let out a yawn. Naruto nodded in agreement. "I know bud, but mortals have to get their products seen by the world somehow, otherwise, what's the use of trying to make money?"**

"Amen!"

"Okay, Herm, stop inflating your ego." Apollo rolled his eyes.

Hermes grinned at him. "Jealous?"

"You wish." The sun god scoffed.

 **There was a sudden boom and the apartment shook. Stuff fell from the shelves and Naruto hugged Kurama to him to keep him safe. The fox yipped in shock and fear while Naruto tried to soothe him with gentle strokes of his red fur. When it was all said and done, Naruto went to the window to try and find out what happened. The neighbors shouted and children cried once the boom ended. Naruto growled in frustration, unable to see anything that had happened from his window.**

 **The commercial on the television suddenly cut from the creditor ad to a Breaking News bulletin that read "World Trade Center Disaster." Naruto rushed to the remote, his fox on his lap and turned up the volume.**

"Oh damn," Nico said. Now, he may have been stuck in the Lotus, but even he heard about this.

"That was a busy day." Hades sighed out tiredly.

Percy frowned and everyone grew quiet.

 **"** ** _...a obviously very disturbing live shot there. That is the World Trade Center and we have unconfirmed reports this morning that a plane has crashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center,_** **" the voice of a female reporter said. Naruto took in the image of the tower with the enormous hole in the side and the smoke that rose from it. He grabbed his bags and ran out of the apartment, Kurama hot on his heels. The whiskered blond ran to the nearest stairwell and ran up at least five flights of stairs. He burst through the roof entryway and swiveled around until he saw it.**

"I was in school at the time," Percy said. He remembered when his mom rushed in to get him, a lot of kids got taken out that day even if they didn't understand why.

Even Smelly Gab showed a bit of humanity in him when it happened.

Some of the demigods looked at the gods, but they gave no input. They had stony looks on their faces.

 **Disbelief washed over him and Naruto let his hands go to his head. The smoke began to fill the sky and Naruto ran his hands down his face as shock filled him. "Holy shit...What the fuck...?"**

 **Kurama yipped and Naruto took note of several monsters fleeing the area by the rooftop. He ducked into the stairwell, not at all prepared to fight. Some hellhounds rushed by without a second glance and Naruto heard a cyclops as it ran past.**

 **"Human disaster, can't hunt or Hades punish me! Run faster, Largo! Run faster!"**

Hades grinned at his policy, he was always swamped during a disaster. If a monster so much as killed someone…well, the Furies got to have their fun.

 **"That's interesting, huh boy?" Naruto asked his vulpine friend. When the monsters' stampede was finished, Naruto turned back to the towers. He reached into his modern bag for the bag his grandmother had given him several years ago. He dug around for a bit before he pulled out a watch and strapped it to his wrist. The time read 8:52 am.**

 **"Man...I hope no one's parent worked there," he said softly. Naruto frowned as he felt a small stab of guilt in his heart. He should hope for more than just the demigods here. Naruto clenched his fist and he ran back to the stairway, intent on doing something. Kurama followed him down all the way down to the street, along with several other tenants that were equally disturbed and curious. As he ran towards the building, a large bird-like shape caught his eye and he gasped as a plane ran straight into the other tower.**

Silent sobs rang out from the demigods as they looked down and paid respects or didn't wish to watch it.

 **"All those people..." Naruto's eyes were wide in horror and words failed to be formed on his normally silver tongue. He heard people scream and yell. It was sheer chaos. Naruto went up to the nearest payphone and worked his magic on it to get a free call to Camp Half-Blood.**

 **"** ** _C-Camp Half-Blood...Chiron speaking."_**

"He learned rather quickly," Zeus said.

"Messenger god." Hermes pointed to himself.

"One would think you'd be working to fix things?" Ares smirked.

Hermes scowled at him. "Hey, the kids had a right to find out right away!"

 **"Chiron! Are you watching the news?" Naruto asked as Kurama climbed to his shoulders. He put his hand over his other ear to better hear Chiron over the sirens.**

 **Chiron sounded relieved to hear his voice.** ** _"Naruto! Hold on – Janet, gather the counselors! ...Just do it and tell the others to stay in their cabins! Have satyrs on full alert and, dammit Mr. D! Could you for once in your life take your job seriously!?"_**

"No." Percy spat under his breath.

 **"** ** _Excuse me!?"_** **the god sounded outraged.**

 **"** ** _You heard me! I will make note to Lord Zeus of your indifference at this time!"_**

 **"** ** _...Fine, this will not be forgotten Chiron..."_**

"Wow, D, seriously?" Apollo raised a brow. The other gods joined him in giving Dionysus looks.

Dionysus just averted his gaze and squirmed a bit.

 **"** ** _You can smite me later!"_** **Naruto was in awe at how angry Chiron was over this. To yell at Dionysus...The centaur had to be infuriated with the mortals. Or scared for his pupils.** ** _"Naruto, where are you?"_**

 ** _Lie or tell the truth? Lie or tell the truth? Lie or-fuck it._** **"I'm there, Chiron...the Towers..."**

"Always the truth for something like this." Apollo noted, which made Hermes roll his eyes.

 **"** ** _Are you safe?"_**

 **Naruto nodded. "I'm fine. So is Kurama. Just thought you should know, any monsters in the area are heading your way and fast."**

 **"** ** _I'm aware. Tragedy makes the Underworld a busy place, and the additional demigod souls usually pile up along with mortals. Monsters who kill during a tragedy like this one earn Hades' ire for millennium._**

"Pretty much." The lord of the dead nodded.

 ** _Are you going to be on your way?"_**

 **Naruto knew the centaur had his best interests in mind, but he knew he was going to be needed here. He could feel it. "No, I've...I've gotta help."**

"A true hero." Percy smiled. "Good on Naruto."

 **"** ** _Naruto, this isn't a monster fight! I'm not asking anymore, I'm telling. All demigods of camp age are to come back this instant!"_**

 **"** ** _Wonderful!"_** **Dionysus groaned in the background.**

Dionysus just covered his eyes with a groan as he tried to ignore the disgusted stares laid upon him.

 **"** ** _Not now!"_** **Naruto could hear the frustration in Chiron's voice.** ** _"Naruto, this is a mortal incident. You will come back to camp!"_**

 **"No can do, Chiron. I'm a hero, and you taught me that heroes save lives even at the cost of their own," Naruto said determinedly. He left the phone and let it dangle from where it once hung**

 **"** ** _Against monsters, not natural disasters or mortal skirmishes! Naruto! Naruto Uzumaki!"_**

"Man, just leaving whenever he wants, sounds like a pretty sweet deal." Leo murmured.

"Oh, I'd let you all go, but Chiron puts his hoof down at that, Lion-O." Dionysus informed.

* * *

 **Naruto, dressed in blue slacks and a red Flash shirt, smiled as he walked through Sandy Springs, GA.**

"Best hero ever." Hermes said smugly.

"Batman." Athena corrected.

"No, Green Arrow!" Apollo argued with Artemis nodding beside him.

"Enough." Zeus warned. "Besides it's Marvel's version of that buffoon Thor."

"We're talking DC, dad!"

"Hermes, please," Hestia said sweetly.

"Uh, right." The messenger nodded.

 **There were no monsters to be seen since Kronos' defeat in Manhattan a few months ago and Naruto was glad that OURANUS had finally decided to lay low while the gods and campers recovered from the second Titanomachy. So with his free time, Naruto decided to come home for Thanksgiving.**

"We were really thankful that year." Percy nodded.

"Oh yeah." Annabeth smiled at him and he smiled back at her.

 **"It's great to be back, huh Kurama?"**

 **The red fox looked up at him with a yip. Naruto grinned and kept his hands in his pockets while he walked towards his apartments. As he rounded the bend that would put them in sight, his eyes widened and he stared in horror at the multiple crushed buildings and fires set around his home. The bag that hung lazily from one arm dropped to the ground.**

"…That's not good." Leo surmised.

"No, it's not." Hermes frowned.

"Giants?" Jason suggested.

Hermes paled along with Zeus at that statement.

 **"No..." Naruto ran through the wreckage, many mortals already on clean up, and bee-lined for his house. What he saw made him infuriated, disheartened and even more horrified than before.**

 **His home was destroyed, not a scrap of it upright, and in front of it laid a very familiar form.**

Hermes heart sank right there. "Oh, Olympus."

"Here Herm," Apollo said as he delicately took the book.

 **"Grandmother!" Naruto saw Maia on the ground, her head tilted to the side and a bit of golden ichor pooled around her mouth. Her eyes were closed and his heart clenched with worry. The younger blond burst into a run, his eyes never left her form.**

Fury entered Hermes' eyes while Zeus clenched his throne's armrest and his Master Bolt tightly, though his face did not change.

 **"I don't think so!" A backhand from a massive hand knocked Naruto into the air with a spiral. He landed and created a small trench with the kinetic force that pulled him along. Naruto scrambled to his feet and glared daggers at the giant that stood between him and his unconscious grandmother. The giant had oily black hair, pure white eyes and was dressed in a tracksuit with the Adidas logo on the left corner of his outfit. Around his neck were several gold chains, which topped off the mobster-like appearance.**

"Hippolytus." Hermes seethed, icy blue eyes akin to a murderer.

 **The giant frowned. "I was hoping that little runt of a mailman would be here...Give him a good thrashing before I left...Granted, a demigod is nice too. Especially one of his kids."**

 **Naruto's hands reached to his hips and grabbed the axe heads of bronze that hung there. He brought them out, prepared to use them like brass knuckles, and glared daggers at the giant. "I'll kill you!"**

"Not without one of us." Ares corrected.

"Oh, he'll have me with him," Hermes said. His voice was dead calm, but his eyes told a different story.

 **"Cliché much?" The giant taunted with a 'bring it' gesture. Naruto ran at him with his fist brought back. He swung and hit air. Confused, he stepped back and looked around. Naruto doubled over as the giant, now at half his original height, reappeared with his fist imbedded in the blond's gut. "Keep your eyes on the prize,** ** _hero_** **!"**

"He can do that?" Piper asked.

"He's my giant. He has to be fast." Hermes scowled. "You can't run fast supersized."

"So true." Ares grinned. "It's why you're a midget."

"Shut up, Ares. Not in the mood."

 **Naruto looked up through one eye and brought his left hand down to swing the bronze axe through the giant's wrist. The giant vanished once more and reappeared behind him.**

 **"Eight ball, corner pocket!" A hard kick to the back sent Naruto through one of the half-destroyed buildings in the area.**

"And he lost the game." Ares shook his head. He liked billiards.

"Really?" Athena asked him.

"What? He didn't hit any other balls."

Athena just sighed.

 **As Naruto rolled several more feet away, the giant laughed and cracked his knuckles.**

 **"Oh, this feels so good!" he said. "What the hell is Enceladus so worried about? Mother's going to rise, the gods are hiding away in their mountain and the demigods are ours for the taking!"**

"Thanks for that by the way." Percy told Zeus.

The king of the gods scowled at his nephew, damn little punk.

 **Naruto coughed up some blood and slowly got back to his feet. He wrapped his right arm around his stomach and side with a wince. At least five ribs were cracked, if not broken. He grit his teeth, stained with blood, and steadied himself.**

"I think he's almost out of the fight." Jason winced, those injuries were just begging to get worse from the coming fight.

 **The giant grinned at the sight. "You've got spunk, kid. I respect that. You're going to willingly face me unlike your yellow daddy. Punk ass used the Underworld King's helm to kill me with that demigod's sword."**

"I'm a god of mischief, ass!" Hermes crossed his arms. "Sneaking around is what I do best."

"Sneak attacks are all well and good." Athena told him, which a thankful nod from the messenger god.

 **"Why...does every monster with a mouth...like to use it?" Naruto asked through labored breaths. He brought his arms up, fists tight around the handles of his axe blades.**

 **The giant's grin widened. "What's wrong kid?" He vanished and reappeared with another fist in the blond's gut. "Having breathing issues?!"**

"Dude's going to need a breathing tube soon." Leo grimaced from the gut shots Naruto kept taking.

 **"No..." Naruto winced as the lie left his mouth. He dropped his weapons and grabbed onto the giant's wrist with both hands and tugged him back. Naruto drove his foot into the giant's stomach and used the momentum from the pull to throw the giant. The giant flipped in the air and landed through the wall of another building on his back.**

"Giant tossing." Apollo mused, that could be a sport.

"Apollo, focus."

"Oh, right. Sorry!"

 **Naruto used the time to get some air and dig around in his pocket. There had to be a cube...bingo! Naruto pulled the small cube of ambrosia out and popped it into his mouth. He quickly chewed and swallowed the godly food before he got back to his feet.**

"Smart to carry some like that." Annabeth nodded.

"That's why I always have a water bottle," Percy said.

"After I got you a personal one."

"After you got me a personal one." The son of Poseidon nodded.

 **"Clever," the giant said, once more somehow in front of him without a sound made. Two hands a bit larger than his head grabbed him by the shoulders. "Ready for some fun!?"**

 **Before Naruto could answer, he was slammed through several walls before unceremoniously dropped to the ground. He climbed back to his feet just in time to be picked up by the giant, who he noticed was slightly larger than before.**

"Wow, talk about rag doll." Frank muttered, it was not Naruto's day.

 **"Pain train, coming through!" The giant cackled when he grabbed Naruto once more and begun to slam him into several trees as they ran past.**

"Boo! Do something!"

"Shut up, Ares!"

 **Naruto was slammed into one more tree before the giant tossed him to land over by the entryway to his apartments. Naruto groaned and looked through a squinted eye to find his pack on the ground where he had dropped it. The blond struggled to army crawl towards it, his back throbbed with each pull and he could barely feel his legs. He reached out for his pack, if he could get a larger dose of ambrosia or nectar...**

 **"Ah, ah, ah." Naruto was kicked onto his back a few feet away from his pack. A thump made the ground shake and then something was shoved through his right thigh. Naruto screamed in pain.**

Piper covered her eyes. She couldn't handle those kind of visuals. They were nasty to look at and painful.

 **A fist cracked him across the face like it was shot from a cannon and for half a minute, Naruto blacked out.**

"And he's dead," Ares said in a bored tone.

 **"Get off of me, you rodent!" Naruto groaned as he came to his senses and the buzz in his ears went away. A yelp had him look to his right and see Kurama land in a roll a few feet away.**

"Hell, the fluff ball has more game then the kid." Ares pointed out, which got him a glare from Hermes. Not that he cared.

 **Naruto groaned and sat up. He looked at his leg, pinned to the ground by a steel pole about fifteen feet long. Naruto grabbed the steel and pulled it out of his leg with a yell.**

Percy was thankful for his healing powers. That looked like it hurt, a lot.

 **"Oh? Still alive are we?" The giant that had handed him his ass several times over sauntered over to the blond with a spear in hand. "Tell me, demigod. Would you like to live this day?"**

 **Naruto settled for a tired glare as his answer.**

 **"I'll let you live," the giant said. He began to walk over to Maia. "But only after I kill the mother of Hermes...I gotta send him a message somehow, y'know."**

"Like a mob hit." Piper concluded.

"Oh, I'll show him a mob hit…" Hermes muttered darkly.

 **Naruto tightened his hands into fists and struggled to get up, the hole in his thigh made it nearly impossible. He watched with anger and horror as the giant came to a stop beside the Olympian's mother. The spear went up and time seemed to slow down for Naruto.**

 ** _No...If only I was just a little faster!_**

Hermes grit his teeth. He was wishing for that too right now.

 **The spear slowly descended towards Maia and Naruto tried with renewed energy to get back to his knees.**

 ** _Just a little faster!_**

 **Naruto pushed down on his bad leg and slowly rose to his feet.**

 ** _Just a little faster!_**

 **The sandals on his feet started to glow and Naruto's leg started to heal.**

The gods looked at the cold eyes of Hermes. He didn't even register them and tightened his grip on his throne while he watched the screen intently.

 **"** ** _Run...Naruto, Run!"_**

"Astral coaching." Hermes rebuffed the looks he got. His eyes keen on the images displayed.

 **The voice, familiar and angry, ordered. Something clicked in the back of Naruto's head and he moved. The ground was torn up as he took one step and wound up a foot away from the giant and his grandmother.**

"Interesting. You gave him 'super speed." Hades mused.

"Hermes…" Zeus started with a frown on his face. It didn't help that his son ignored him.

 **Naruto's arms reached out just as the tip of the spear was half a foot away from its mark.**

 **There was a loud crack in the air followed by the sound of dirt being pierced by bronze metal. The giant looked around in shock. "What the-Where'd the bitch go!?"**

"…Gut him!" Hermes hissed.

Percy looked at the god with a hint of fear in his eyes. He could now see where Luke got his angry looks from.

 **Another crack echoed in the air and the giant stumbled back with a yell. His spear and from the middle of his forearm down had been cut clean off. "My arm!? Who dares-!?"**

 **Another crack and his other arm vanished from the elbow down. The giant let out a cry of pain.**

"Now that's disarming!" Leo gasped.

"Boo!" Piper jeered. "That's sucked."

"Shut up!" Leo scowled. "That was perfect!"

 **Naruto ran, his legs moved faster than ever before. His hands once more wielded the bronze axe heads that he had dropped during the fight with the giant. He shot over the Pacific Ocean, the water several seconds behind him as a boom echoed. That boom signaled his destruction of the sound barrier, how he knew that, he didn't know. All he knew was that he had to run.**

"Hermes, you little fool." Athena scowled.

"Athena, kindly zip it." Hermes grunted.

Athena rubbed her forehead. "The bodies of mortals, even demigods, are not meant for that strain!"

"Not listening!"

 ** _Faster!_**

 **A louder crack and more of the giant's left arm came off completely.**

 ** _Faster!_**

 **The ground ripped apart beneath his feet. He absentmindedly noticed that the great pyramids looked kind of cool.**

"Lucky!" Annabeth whined.

"I don't do well in places without rain." Percy pointed out. Nico scowled while Thalia grimaced at the memory of their trip in a desert.

 ** _Faster!_**

 **"What is happening?!" The giant roared again as his right arm joined the left.**

 **The sights became a blur and Naruto lapped the world once over, then twice, then five times, then ten.**

"He's going too fast." Apollo pointed out.

"He'll be fine." Hermes refuted with his eyes still on the screen. "Just keep reading."

"I think that's your anger talking, Herm."

"And if it was your mother, Apollo?"

"Shutting up!"

 **"I don't...understand..." The giant groaned as he fell to his knees, his arms gone and hundreds of gashes on his body. His expensive tracksuit was gone, tatters from the assault he underwent. There was a boom and he looked up at the blond demigod he had beaten into the ground moments ago. "...You...What...are...you?"**

"I am the Speed Force," Apollo said in a dramatic voice.

Leo whistled. "Any and all badass points restored."

 **"I'm the demigod that killed you," Naruto said, his voice echoed as his body vibrated. He looked like he couldn't stand still if he tried. His body was cracked all over and leaked red with blood from the wounds.**

"Look what you did, Hermes." Athena shook her head. She was right, she always was after all.

Hermes just rolled his eyes at her. She honestly needed to learn to shut up.

 **He brought his right hand back, the bronze axe-head gleamed in the daylight, though it looked ready to fracture with the next blow. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'm the son of Hermes!"**

 **"NO-O-O-!" The giant's yell was cut short as his head was cut off. The head landed in the dirt and the body dissolved into dust, sent back to the Underworld where it belonged.**

"Oh yeah! That's my boy! Suck it, Hippo!" Hermes whooped with glee.

"Settle down." Artemis told him, he was bouncing too much.

"Never!"

 **Naruto's weapons exploded into dust and the blond fell to his knees. His shirt burst long ago from the strain of the speed and his jeans were tattered and torn from the friction. Blood leaked from his body and his eyes, bloodshot to the extreme, rolled into his head as he fell forward.**

Athena just raised her brow as Hermes winced at the sight.

"Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea."

* * *

 **And there you have it, just the preview of this coming series.  
**

 **Enjoy!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **Reading: Born From Fire**

"Well, we're on a roll, huh?" Percy asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"Whose is next?" Hermes asked while he ticked names off a notepad.

"Born From Fire?" Piper read the title after she turned the page.

Eyes turned to Hephaestus. "I don't think it's me."

"But fire." Leo countered, the beginnings of flames flickered on his fingertips.

"I ain't the only god who deals with fire."

The gods looked to Hestia, who blinked her fiery eyes.

"Oh my." The goddess covered her mouth in surprise. Hermes blinked and then looked to his notepad, where he added another name he'd previously scratched out.

"I'll read," Piper said. She was already holding the book anyway.

 **"There are four common base elements that are known to the world through many cultures."**

"Water!" Leo said as he pointed at Percy. "Earth!" His finger moved to Hazel. "Fire!" Fireballs erupted in his hands. "And air!" The Latino looked at Jason. "Only the Avatar can-"

"No," Piper said to him.

"What?! Girl, that show's the bomb!"

"I know, but we are not going over this again. It was bad enough when you were going all Fire Nation on the camp!"

Jason slouched with a look of exhaustion on his face. "I had to fly around with buckets of water."

"But you were the heroic Bucket-Man." Leo assured him.

Jason glared at him. "Don't call me that."

 **A page was turned in a book and the Narrator smiled as the sole member of the audience listened with full attention from where they sat on the Narrator's lap. The page revealed a picture of the planet Earth.**

"It's Gaia?!" Hermes cried out.

"Not again!" Apollo wailed in terror.

 **"The first, of course, is that of the earth. Strong, unmoving, the earth is stubborn, but also at peace with itself.**

"Yes." Percy nodded. "As long as everything _else_ was destroyed, she'd be peachy."

"Let's not be rude, Percy." Hestia chided lightly.

 **It is lorded over by a primordial,** _ **the**_ **primordial Gaea, who continues to slumber since times long forgotten. Her slumber isn't welcomed, but it isn't disturbed, for when the Earth decides to sleep, it takes something** _ **big**_ **to make her stir, let alone wake her up. To ensure she slumbers, the eldest son of The Crooked One, Hades, watches over the element of Earth. His sister, Demeter, grudgingly helps him with this."**

The two siblings gave loathsome looks to one another, but grudgingly conceded to this.

 **The Listener giggled and the Narrator's smile widened. Another page was turned and multiple lines danced across the paper. The Listener watched the lines twist and turn this way and that, and the Narrator continued.**

"I love it when Aunt Hestia tells a story." Apollo smiled. "It's like listening to a bedtime story."

Artemis looked amused by this. "Yes, I'm sure that's what you love the most after driving aimlessly throughout the day."

"Hey! My job isn't aimless! I gotta give everyone their sunshine." Apollo gestured to the demigods. "They know what I mean."

"I'll take the Moon Chariot any day over yours," Thalia said blandly.

"That's just because you stink at driving _and_ you're biased."

The hunter glared at the sun god for the insult.

 **"Then comes the element that is most free, the air. Air is invisible, not to be touched, but always to be felt.**

"Just like Zeus." Hades smirked at his brother. "How do you think he gets around so much? He's so flighty."

"I am not!" Zeus rumbled angrily.

"At least he isn't an airhead," Poseidon said. His lips quirked up in amusement as he followed with, "By much."

"Oh, the both of you can kiss the most solid part of Father's rear!"

 **It dances around humans, brushes their skin, warms their flesh, or chills their bones. When trapped, it escapes easily through the sneakiest of manners, for it finds the smallest of crevices of its container and slips out.**

Zeus grumbled at the description while Hera turned to her sister.

"I think you want to say something with this." She noted.

Hestia smiled softly. "I haven't the foggiest clue of what you mean, Sister."

Hera frowned but said nothing more on the topic.

 **Many control air, but it is lorded over by the youngest son of The Crooked One, Zeus. Even then, Zeus focuses his control on the sub-element, Lightning, which may explain why Air gets away with so much, even with Hera trying to keep it in check."**

"So blame the air, not the lord of it?" Jason asked with confusion.

"Yep." Apollo snickered as Zeus glared at his laughing children and siblings.

Seriously, where did all his respect go?

 **Another giggle escaped the Listener after the Narrator's last whispered comment. The Narrator chuckled and turned the page. An intricate sunset hung on the edge of the restless ocean.**

 **"After the free air and the stubborn earth comes the malleable element of water.**

"I go with the flow." Poseidon shrugged.

"Or you know, go any which direction." Apollo chuckled. "I know I do."

"Hush." Hestia chided the sun god. "There are children about."

"What? I'm just being honest here!"

 **Water is truly one of the most effective elements created. Water cannot easily be contained.**

Percy and Poseidon cheered to that. Even Frank pumped his fist a bit since he was a legacy.

 **It becomes heavy when gathered together and refuses to remain still when transported, such as when a child fills a bucket. The bucket becomes too heavy for the child to carry, and, even if they do manage to carry it, chances are that the water will escape over the edge during the transport. There is still some water in the bucket though, which tells us that water is generous.**

"I am a giver." Poseidon nodded generously.

"Oh yes, of earthquakes, hurricanes, and tidal waves." Athena listed off.

Poseidon glowered at her for the slight.

 **The middle brother of Zeus and Hades, Poseidon, watches over all major bodies of water."**

 **"Unc Side'n!" The Listener chimed happily.**

"…That is the most adorable name I have ever heard." Hazel giggled.

Poseidon beamed with pride while Hestia giggled softly. The sea god turned to his brothers with his smile in place. "It seems the lad has a favorite uncle."

"Blow it out your blowhole," Zeus said snidely while Hades rolled his eyes.

 **"That's right." the Narrator smiled softly. The page was turned once more and a happy sound escaped the Listener when he saw a crude, but elegant, fire sprout on the page.**

 **"Fire!"**

"Ah! Call the fire department!" Leo cried out.

"No, get the Waterboy to douse it," Nico said.

"Oh, right." Leo nodded. They both looked at Percy.

Percy frowned at him. "I am not going to be a fireman."

"I think you'd really excel at it," Poseidon said with a rub of his beard.

"No thanks," Annabeth said sternly. "He gets in enough trouble as is."

Percy gave a sheepish laugh when Annabeth gave him an exasperated look.

 **"Yes," the Narrator said as warm, flame filled eyes looked down at the untamed blond hair on the Listener's head.**

 **"Fire, the fourth and final element. Fire is perceived as dangerous and harmful, with good reason. Fire cannot be completely controlled, even by those it is assigned to. Fire is ruthless, unforgiving, and wild.**

"The poor wildlife." Frank laminated as he glanced at Leo.

"Hey." The son of the forge god glowered. "Don't look at me like that, stick boy. I gave you the bag for a reason!"

 **It must be tempered by a careful hand, caged in a hearth or aptly named fireplace, and it is used by humanity against the word of the gods, who knew of its dangerous power. Fire burns strong until doused by earth, water, or air."**

Jason patted Leo's shoulder. "We'll always put you out, Leo."

"More like put me down, dude."

 **"Foosh!"**

 **The Narrator giggled as a small flame escaped the hands of the Listener.**

"Aw." Ares smiled. "A little chaos maker. That's nice."

Hestia gave him a look of warning. "If your alternate self so much as tries to suggest something to him…"

"Yeah, yeah…I get it." Ares said as some sweat crawled down his neck while he held his hands up in defense.

 **The book was untouched, the fire created danced in circles above it before the fire was snuffed from existence.**

 **"But though it is defeated, it leaves its mark; the air becomes unbearable, water is boiled, and the earth is scorched. However, there are two great beings that watch over fire. One is the smith god, Hephaestus, who uses fire as a tool. He has shortcomings, a temper much like the element when certain subjects are brought up."**

"Like his clubfoot." Ares pointed to the limp.

"How about I weld your bike to your as-"

"Hephaestus, not now. Please?" Hestia asked kindly.

The smith god grunted as he sat back in his throne and gave his brother a heated glare.

 **The Narrator closed the book and set it aside. The Narrator turned the Listener around so that their warm flame-filled eyes could meet, small smiles on either of their faces. The Listener's eyes drooped slightly and a yawn escaped from the young Listener's mouth. The Narrator smiled and rose, carrying the Listener to a small bed set beside a large hearth. The Listener was set in the bed, and the Narrator gently brushed a finger along one of the unique whisker-like marks that was on the Listener's cheek.**

"So, there's Naruto." Jason pointed out.

"The whiskers just make it too easy." Piper giggled.

"Anyone else think a baby with fire eyes is sort of creepy?" Leo asked.

Hera sighed. She thought the same when she looked at Ares. A glance now and she grimaced when she noted the god of war had his finger shoved up his nose.

 **"The other watcher of fire is quiet and peaceful, one who knows that to protect her family, she must be distant from them. But she loves them too much to be distant, so she designed the Hearth, a way to contain fire, yet let it reign free."**

 **The Listener's eyes shut and the Narrator's smile widened.**

 **"After all, fire brings life as well as extinguish it. Unites families, even when they are so far apart." The Narrator grabbed a simple light orange-brown blanket and draped it over the Listener. "The Last Olympian watches the Hearth, alone and willingly. Her dedication was rewarded by the Fates."**

"So, wait. The Fates can hand out babies?" Percy asked with confusion written all over his face.

"Well, they _are_ the Fates. They can do a lot of stuff." Annabeth told him.

"Like beat giants with brass clubs." Jason shivered at the memory. He could never look at the elderly the same ever again.

 **The Narrator turned to the Hearth and grabbed a poker, gently adjusting the coals that burned. "For her Hearth gave birth to a boy, the Boy Born from Fire. Naruto, the God of the Hearth."**

"So if there is a goddess, there has to be a god for it?" Piper asked.

"Well, not always sweetie," Aphrodite said with an amused smile. "But sometimes we get double the god for the domain. I mean, look at War! We have _two_ goddess _and_ a god for that one."

"Enyo is hardly a goddess of war!" Athena scoffed.

"I like her." Ares smiled cruel at the thought of his (personally decided) better War sister.

Hera just looked like she could use some wine right now. She hadn't seen Enyo since the war in Iraq had started. She didn't even want to _think_ about what her estranged daughter was doing.

 **When a human thought of a god, they thought of an all powerful being that was otherworldly in appearance, though still they looked 'human' due to humanity's vanity. In reality, humans were akin to hairless apes, and gods were...not.**

"Ow!" Percy said when a banana was thrown at his head.

"There." Ares grinned. "Never say I didn't do anything nice for you."

"Ares, don't throw food at people's heads." Hestia frowned.

" _Fi-i-ine._ "

 **However, the gods learned quickly to hide their true appearance, for most beings could not handle the sight of a god's true form.**

Jason rubbed his arms and shivered lightly. It was an experience he wanted to forget.

 **They donned humanity as their cover – "Why human? Because honestly, who wanted to look like a platypus?"**

"Platypi have a lot of stuff to say, actually." Hermes informed the room.

"Oh yeah, you changed into one as a gag on X-Mas a few decades ago." Apollo looked at the messenger god curiously. "What do they talk about?"

"Oh, you know...stuff," Hermes said uneasily as he looked away. He decided not to mention the plans of world domination to the other gods. They would just laugh at him.

– **and most gods settled on certain features that agreed with their domains.**

 **Apollo, as god of the sun and youths, was always an attractive young man. His twin, Artemis, appeared as a beautiful athletic maiden to coincide with her domain of the hunt and maidens. Hermes always looks mischievous and friendly, being the god of thieves and travellers, often one and the same, though lately he's donned the browns and weariness of a postal worker. Aphrodite was the definition of lust, love and beauty in human form, as each human had a different opinion, and her appearance was never actually specified to be more than 'breathtakingly beautiful'. Ares was scarred and built like a warrior, though he now looks like a thug. Hephaestus was the hardened crippled worker. Dionysus the happy drunk, but like Ares and Hermes, his appearance has suffered due to the times, now he's miserably sober.**

Dionysus hung his head. "Why must they rub it in?!"

"So we can laugh at you." Ares smirked.

"But yeah, those are pretty dead-on descriptions." Apollo chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "I _am_ attractive."

"And fatheaded, but _we_ have to deal with that." Artemis sighed in misery while her twin pouted at her.

 **How does a god choose to appear, though? How do they know what fits their domain?**

 **Well, Naruto wasn't sure about the others, but he was lucky enough to have a face that he liked. When he was 'born again', his once-human-now-godly mind chose that as his godly form.**

"So he was reincarnated?" Hades asked with a scowl on his face. He rested his cheek on his fist and grunted. "Honestly, the Fates could at _least_ ask me before they do something of the sort. But no! Never do they bother. That leaves me with _all_ sorts of paperwork."

"Hades, you're griping." Hera noted.

Hades glowered at her. "Like you care."

"I don't. I do want to hear the story, though."

 **Currently, he was the physical equivalent of an eight year old, but with the mental capacities of a god. Unfortunately, because his godly mind was newborn, Naruto couldn't reprogram the base setting, which meant one thing.**

 **He was short.**

 _ **Again**_ **.**

Leo gave a pitying look as the young god came on the screen. "I feel for him. I really do."

"Aww, but he's so cute like this!" Hazel cooed at child-god Naruto.

Percy elbowed Frank and whispered. "I think she's a sucker for kids. Good luck with that, buddy."

"Thanks." Frank rolled his eyes, but he smiled a little when his eyes landed on his girlfriend.

 **"...So not fair..." Naruto pouted as he looked at the platter of cooling cookies set on the counter, just a foot from his reach. Olympians liked to be ten feet tall, some inset superiority thing, Naruto assumed. His childish form was barely even half that. Granted, it was better than being four foot nothing for almost all of his childhood, it was still kind of irritating to have a significant height disadvantage after an adulthood where he was one of the few naturally tallest around.**

"That's actually _really_ cruel." Hermes frowned.

Apollo patted him on his shoulder. "There, there Herm. Look on the bright side, you're taller now!"

"Dude, that's not funny. Not at all."

 **"Is something troubling you, Naruto?"**

 **Naruto turned and smiled at his cousin. Athena looked radiant as usual; her golden hair – often changed to a darker color for mortals because of some stigma that had come about in the late 18th Century –**

Annabeth raised a brow at her mother. "Then why do we get blonde hair?"

"Genetics." Athena replied nonchalantly, which got her daughter to pout.

That 'dumb blond' stereotype was going to follow her forever!

 **braided down her back and wise grey eyes showed that she had processed millions of thoughts before one completed in his head. Though, she'd probably be less intimidating if she didn't wear the cuirass over her robes.**

 **Nevertheless, Naruto greeted Athena warmly. "Hey, Ena!"**

"Oh, that's adorable." Hestia smiled while Athena pursed her lips at such a childish nickname.

Ares smirked. "Ena the mean-a."

"Ares, do us all a grand favor would you?" Athena asked.

"What?" Ares asked in return.

"Shut up."

 **The wise eyes steeled. "Naruto, you're no longer a child, please don't address me as that ever again."**

 **"Er, sorry, Athena." Naruto swallowed lightly. He relaxed as the hard steel returned to a cool grey.**

 **"You're entering your third century, Naruto, you should begin to act like it," Athena said. She sniffed the air and approached the counter further. Though she kept her distance, a desire appeared alongside the calculative gaze she had. "...Hestia made cookies."**

"And all of her tough walls crumble…like a cookie." Poseidon grinned at Athena.

The wisdom goddess scoffed. "You would as well."

"I don't deny it. I can swallow my pride." Poseidon smirked as Athena glared at him.

 **"For the celebration of the end of the nineteenth century," Naruto said after the astute deduction. He looked up at the counter with want in his own gaze and a silly grin on his face as drool escaped his lips. "They're** _ **orange**_ **ambrosia cookies..."**

"Orange?" Percy gave Hestia a scandalized look.

The goddess smiled at her nephew. "Naruto likes the color, so I would cook them to be that color."

"B-But what about blue?"

"Percy." Annabeth sighed. "Let it go."

"…You can't expect me to do that."

"I know. It was wishful thinking."

 **Naruto heard Athena take a sharp breath of air. He didn't blame her. Hestia's cookies and other assorted treats were among the most coveted of snacks. She did wonders with ambrosia that no god or goddess has been able to replicate, and the only one who's neared her skill has been Hera. The Queen of the Heavens was not vain enough to declare her baking better than her older sister's; it was an unspoken agreement that one did not dare try to outdo Hestia when baking, lest she decide to keep a fight from taking place and cease baking altogether.**

All of the gods paled at this. If Hestia stopped cooking or baking...war _would_ break out.

"I would never do such a thing." Hera waved off. Hestia helped her out so much with Sunday dinners.

Hestia smiled at her family. "Good."

"Anyone else get a chill down their spine?" Leo asked while toying with his shirt collar. He looked to the other demigods and frowned. "No? Just me? Okay, I guess I'll be paranoid then."

 **Olympus would face against Chaos itself before the inhabitants of the mountain would suffer a lack of Hestia's cooking.**

 **"For the celebration of the New Year, hm?" Athena hummed. She let a small sigh escape her. "I suppose we should just wait for the hours to pass...they'll still be warm."**

 **"If Artemis doesn't grab them all, first." Naruto grumbled. In his opinion, the goddess of the hunt became the goddess of gluttony when Hestia's cookies were set out.**

Artemis was gob smacked. "I-I do _not_!"

"She's always a cute kid with chubby cheeks. Always like a squirrel. Ow!" Apollo cried out as Artemis swatted his arm.

"I was no such thing!" The huntress hissed.

"Now, now, Artemis. There's no need to get so embarrassed." Hestia chided with a smile on her face. "I think it's adorable."

"Aunt Hestia!"

Nico grinned at Thalia. "I can see why she's the goddess of maidens. She has the whining down."

Thalia glared at him. "Watch it, death breath."

 **Artemis rarely lied, the event itself being the reason why there was a phrase 'once in a blue moon', but Artemis' most common excuse for taking all of the cookies would be that she was saving them for her hunters.**

"Wow, that's the biggest load of deer droppings I've ever heard from you." Apollo told his twin. Her cheeks colored in both mild shame and great irritation at his comment.

 **Naruto grunted when Athena lightly knocked him on the head with the flat of her spear.**

 **"Now, Naruto, you know as well as I that Artemis isn't that bad." Athena scolded.**

Artemis sent her sister a thankful look and the wise goddess smiled lightly back.

 **"Yeah, sure...Did you have to hit me so hard?" Naruto rubbed his crown and frowned at the spear. Along the flat of the blade, several kanji and other assorted lines appeared before the spear changed into a trident.**

Poseidon burst into laughter while Athena actually squawked in shock.

"What just happened to my spear?!" she demanded.

"I don't know, but I know who my favorite nephew is now!" Poseidon chuckled.

Apollo pouted and hung his head. "Aw...I thought we were tight."

 **Athena started and dropped the polearm, shocked that she held the symbol of her rival so suddenly. The trident exploded in a cloud of smoke once it struck the ground and reverted back to Athena's spear. Then, it returned to her hand under her will once she noticed the change had ended. Her gaze turned to the younger god.**

 **"Naruto!"**

 **"That was an accident, I promise!" Naruto cringed and held his arms above his head. "Don't hit me again!"**

"Honestly." Hestia frowned at her niece. "Child violence?"

"He's been a god for a while now. He's no longer a child." Athena corrected swiftly so as to not have Hestia's ire.

"Still, hitting the minor gods isn't the right thing to do." The hearth goddess scolded and Athena took it with a pained look.

"I love when she does this." Poseidon whispered to Hades, who chuckled a bit as well. It was always nice to see Hestia scold someone other than themselves.

 **Athena rolled her eyes. She wasn't so quick to act, despite what others may think. "I won't hit you, Naruto. I just want to know how you did that?"**

 **Naruto peaked out through a crack in his arms. "Promise not to whack me on the head?"**

 **"I promise not to whack you on the head." Athena's amusement was displayed by a hardly visible smirk on her face. Her younger cousin was very childish, more so than any of the other gods. His personality was possibly due to his previous life as a mortal during the age of Bronze Men, but Athena wasn't about to jump to that conclusion.**

"Funny, you love doing that," Poseidon said scathingly.

Athena didn't bother to respond to his jab.

 **"Okay." Naruto lowered his arms, but kept a wary eye on the goddess of wisdom. "Well, that was a seal, as far as I could tell. A rune from the Bronze Age used in the Eastern Realm. I thought that a lack of chakra would make those things impossible, but I guess now I can just will them to appear."**

"That's…interesting." Athena commented eagerly. Her daughter also looked greatly interested.

 **"...You guess?" Athena was slightly disappointed. She did not exist during the Bronze Age and had only come to be once the age dwindled to a close. Not to mention the Olympians didn't go east often; they followed the heart of the west after all. The only ones who'd truly gone eastern were Apollo and Helios, and that was to guide the sun on its western trip.**

"And that's why he _loves_ haikus." Artemis grimaced. They were worse than his limericks.

"And I still think you're being stingy when you're rating them." Apollo pouted at her. "They're fantastic! Just like me!"

 **Naruto shrugged. "I'm not sure how my mind works, don't think I ever will be." Naruto grinned slightly. "Not really the 'brains' kind of guy, you know?"**

 **"Well now, that just won't do."**

"Bum, bum, bum!" Percy declared with a grin.

 **Naruto froze at the soft amused tone that he'd heard a few times before. The god of the hearth and home turned and offered his mother a weak smile. "H-Hello mother."**

"Oh." Piper winced. "He's so busted."

"I sense tutoring in his future." Poseidon shook his head. "The poor, poor lad."

"You could use some once in a while, Poseidon." Hestia smiled teasingly.

"I wouldn't bother, Aunt Hestia." Athena smirked at her rival. "He's a lost cause."

Annabeth sighed and snuggled closer to her boyfriend. Why couldn't their godly parents get along again?

 **"Naruto." Hestia nodded slightly. She gave another nod to Athena. "Athena, welcome. Am I interrupting anything?"**

 **"No, Hestia," Athena said. "I was coming to have another talk with you when I spotted Naruto gazing at your cookies."**

 **Naruto pouted at the goddess. "Nobody likes a tattle tale, Athena."**

"Wow, that explains a lot." Percy whispered to his girlfriend, who elbowed him softly. "What? She's the spoiled one, right?"

"I think Artemis is a bit more with all her wishes." The wise girl suggested.

"Yeah, but that was then, not now." Thalia, who heard them with her trained ears, countered.

Annabeth conceded to that.

 **"Odysseus would say otherwise to that, Naruto," Hestia said. She had a secretive smile on her face, and her flame-like eyes flickered playfully. "Speaking of Odysseus, he was favored by you, was he not, Athena?"**

 **Athena nodded. "He was one of the few men who had intelligence and lacked incompetence. Especially when it came to warfare."**

"Not to sailing a boat though," Poseidon said off handedly.

"Oh, who could have done that?" Athena asked dryly.

"He was rather arrogant." Zeus huffed. He got looks from the other occupants of the room, which made him arch his brow. "What?"

 **"And you, Naruto, are fond of his tale, are you not?" Hestia asked. Her smile widened slightly as the boy nodded. "Perhaps you should learn to use your mind like he did. What do you think, Athena?"**

 **Athena's eyes gleamed as she swiftly put together the tapestry Hestia was weaving. One thing was guaranteed when it came to the domain of wisdom, and that was sharing it with another. "I'd be glad to help Naruto with that."**

 **Naruto looked between the two goddesses, a cold feeling travelled up his spine. "Um...did I miss something?"**

"Salute!" Percy said, his hand to his head. "For the fall of another!"

All of the demigods, save for Annabeth, and the young gods saluted.

Annabeth smacked Percy's arm and frowned at him. "Studying isn't that bad."

"With you? Not so much. But with your mom? That scares me."

 **"You could begin tomorrow after the party," Hestia said.**

 **Athena nodded. "That will do."**

 **"After lunch?"**

 **"A few hours before should suffice. Ensure that he sleeps well," Athena said as she turned and walked away.**

 **"I'll take him to your library after breakfast, then." Hestia smiled.**

 **Naruto frowned as Athena left the simple temple to the Olympus Hearth his mother claimed as her home. He turned back to Hestia with his brows furrowed. "Did I miss something?"**

 **"Yes. Now go wash up, we're going to visit Mother before the party. She hasn't seen you since the Revolutionary War ended."**

"Good times." Ares sighed with a smile.

"Oh yes, the fight for independence." Athena actually agreed with Ares this one time. Mainly since her son was the one who lead the charge.

 **"This is madness..." Naruto frowned as he looked at the River Somme at the end of Janus' month in the seventeenth year of the twentieth century. He finally had a growth spurt and stood a respectable ten feet alongside other immortals, but with his growth came memories of times long since past. Humans hadn't changed since his first life, despite what his mother insisted. They were still prone to wars, granted they lost the many abilities Naruto now controlled. And with the added demigods...it was a recipe for disaster. Ares' sons were ruthless and Apollo's sons had made deadly biological weaponry.**

"Uh." Apollo scrambled to find an excuse when he got some looks. Unable to come up with one, he decided to shift the blame. "Hey! Heph helped out on that!"

The accusing eyes went to Hephaestus, who shrugged nonchalantly. "I was bored at the time."

"…I'll never be bored again," Leo said with some worry.

"We'll make sure of it." The other members of the Seven Heroes agreed.

 **"Madness, ha! You'd not be saying that if you saw Troy. That was madness. They'd go out to fight in the day, sleep with women in the night and then repeat for years."**

"Still one of the best wars ever." Ares grinned at his fellow Olympians since they got into the mix. "Good times."

"Ugh, it's never going to happen again." Hades messaged his temples. He needed a vacation and soon. "The spike in shifts for my ghouls? It took a century for it to at least even out then the Romans came along!"

"Dad!" Hazel frowned.

"I'm sorry daughter, but it was a hectic time for me." Hades admitted and gave the rest of the Romans a thankful look. "At least _you_ show me proper respect." He looked at the Greek Demigods, minus his son. "Them on the other hand? Not so much."

The Greek demigods just turned away as they tried not to meet the Underworld King's gaze.

 **Naruto turned and let a small smile cross his face as one of his friends approached him. He was a dark skinned man and built much like the long since deceased and reincarnated Kirabi. Glowing stones acted as eyes and in his left hand was a rolled parchment. The man wore a dark suit that was common to those who resided mostly in the House of Hades.**

"It's all Italian." Nico nodded. "Only the best."

"And expensive." Hades said with a pained tone as he slouched in his seat even further. "My poor wallet."

"Is it not endless? Like your domain?" Zeus asked.

Hades glared at him. "At least I have an _actual_ reason to whine when compared to you, bird boy."

"Shots fired." Poseidon chuckled while Zeus seethed.

 **"Was another false oath given, Horkos?" Naruto asked the son of Eris.**

"Like Orcus?" Reyna frowned as the image of Pryce entered her head.

"His Greek counterpart. You know, the chill side." Nico told her.

"Horkos is rather well liked." Hades admitted. "That Lawrence child was mentally disturbed thanks to the stricter Roman teachings."

"Tell me about it." Jason frowned heavily. The guy weirded him out.

 **His presence wasn't usually welcomed on Olympus, but as of late many of those unwelcomed were present to deal with the strife that befell the planet.**

 **Horkos let off an annoyed sigh. "There are so many promises made that I have been sent by Lord Hades to consult with Lord Apollo over what was a broken oath and what was never meant to be kept. Things would be easier to track if we had another god of oaths, alas, Helios faded back when Rome rose."**

"I miss my wingman." Apollo sighed, his head hung.

"I'm glad the glow snitch is gone." Ares grunted.

 **"I'm not becoming the God of Promises, Horkos." Naruto told the punisher flatly.**

 **Horkos glowered at him. "Yet you continue to make promises..."**

Apollo rubbed his chin. "I could see it."

 **"I do no such thing!" Naruto protested.**

 **Horkos smirked. "Oh really? So that promise to Aphrodite you made was a false oath?"**

Hestia gave Aphrodite a sharp look, as the lady of doves offered an innocent one in return.

"Now, now Hestia. There's no harm in meeting up with a new god." Her slowly growing lewd grin did little to back up the innocent look she tried to portray.

Ares grit his teeth at this while Hephaestus sighed in boredom. The smith had actually expected this sort of thing to take place.

Hestia had mixed feelings about this, but said nothing in order to hear more.

 **"That does not count! I was hardly out of my first century! I didn't know what I was saying!" Naruto protested hotly as his blond locks ignited into an embarrassed flame while his face turned a bright gold as ichor rushed to it.**

"We never get to see an embarrassed Hestia anymore." Demeter giggled. "It was adorable when that would happen to her."

"Sister!" Hestia pouted as her siblings took pleasure in her embarrassment. They were all learning about themselves when they were regurgitated.

 **Horkos laughed and clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Be at ease, Naruto. I know you were a young god. For me to punish you would be damnable. If anyone should be punished, it's Aphrodite. She invoked a possibly false promise, but then again, I don't see the future."**

Apollo raised his hand. "I do!"

"Not anymore." Zeus reminded him.

Apollo pouted. "Only because you won't let me go deal with Python again!"

"It's part of your punishment."

 **"Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence. You're a true friend." Naruto drawled as he cooled off. He flicked a small flame that hung on his brow off and gave Horkos a mild glare.**

 **Horkos smirked again. "I'm a son of Eris. If I don't cause you some sort of pain, she'd throw me to Nyx for more lessons."**

"And that's one lady you don't want to do the tango with." Percy grimaced.

"At least she's not too bright." Annabeth smiled.

"Ugh, Annie," Thalia blanched and rubbed her face. "That was terrible. Just plain terrible."

Annabeth frowned at her. "I thought was a good one."

 **"Right..." Naruto sighed. He looked back down at the River Somme and shook his head. "These men...they do not deserve the teachings of Ninshū."**

 **"Ah, so you've been considering teaching your other domain to humanity?" Horkos asked.**

"Woohoo!" Ares cheered.

 **Naruto sighed. "After conversing with Mother about Prometheus' fate, I decided against it. Lord Zeus does not like having his place challenged.**

"I think we have a recorded list of those times." Hades mused.

"We do." Poseidon pointed at Athena. "There it is."

Both father and daughter glared at the elder gods.

 **Besides, Ninshū was created to unite humanity into peace. With Ares' hold over men this generation, I fear that level of peace may be beyond them."**

 **"Are you considering the offer Eirene made?" Horkos asked his young friend seriously. "You do know what could happen if you take her up on it."**

 **"...I have not decided yet," Naruto admitted. "While I think that this decade is lost to Ares' bloodlust, I always hope for the true king of man."**

"What?" Zeus frowned.

 **The sky boomed, but Naruto paid it no heed.**

"Double what?" Hades mimicked his youngest brother.

"No, that's a _triple_ what." Poseidon corrected.

"Hilarious, the both of you." Zeus grunted as they smirked or grinned at him respectively.

"Hush, you three." Hestia told her brothers. "My son is speaking. Honestly, when did you all get so rude?"

 **Horkos waited patiently for his friend to continue. Naruto looked at Horkos with a small smile.**

 **"The true king of man is the next generation," Naruto said. He returned his attention to the riverbed, littered with bodies and wounded, rescue coming in waves. "And it is the duty of the current to ensure that the next generation makes the right choice. War may be inevitable because of Ares' boredom, but Peace is something worth fighting for."**

"Well, I hate him already." Ares admitted shamelessly.

Athena shook her head. "You're just being biased. Again."

"But he's all about peace _this_! And harmony _that_! What is this, My Little Pony?"

Poseidon glared at the war god. "Don't bring horses into this, Ares."

 **"An interesting choice of words."**

 **The new voice had Horkos and Naruto stiffen, and both turned to see none other than their King behind them. Naruto fell to a knee and Horkos knelt beside him, both greeted him traditionally as their "Father". They looked up and rose when Zeus signaled them to.**

"Where's the ka-boom?" Hermes said in a familiar voice, "There was supposed to be an earth shatter ka-boom!"

"No bolts and lightning to be all very, very frightening, pops?" Apollo asked.

"Do not call me 'pops', Apollo." Zeus frowned at the god. He huffed. "Besides, I don't come in with lightning _all_ the time."

That got a few chuckles from his siblings.

Poseidon outright laughed.

 **"I meant no dishonor, Lord Zeus - " Naruto began, but Zeus' raised hand cut him off. Electric blue eyes were locked onto flame-like orbs that looked back at him in a bit of nervousness. Zeus never officially approved of Hestia's son, but considering that the Fates suddenly delivered him to Hestia, Zeus withheld any action against him.**

"Because only against little grannies does he consider the after actions." Hades scoffed.

 **That and Zeus was not exactly keen on the thought of being on Hestia's bad side, not that he ever told anyone of it.**

"That too." Hera nodded as all the gods agreed on that one.

Hestia just gained a pleasant smile.

 **"Your words come from the heart of one who was once man," Zeus said neutrally. "It is only natural that you occasionally think like one. You are like Asclepius, foolhardy and naïve when it comes to immortal matters, but filled with good intentions for mortals. Tell me, Boy of Fire, what are your views on peace?"**

 **Naruto blinked, slightly stunned that the King addressed him so directly. He really needed to learn to reign in his motor mouth. After a moment of silence, Naruto came to his senses thanks to a nudge from Horkos.**

 **"M-my views? Yes, um, ahem." Naruto coughed into a fist uneasily. "Peace is something that can be achieved by man, even if it's due to fear of man's rulers. Such as the Golden Age."**

 **Zeus narrowed his eyes. "You believe that The Crooked One is a better ruler than I?"**

"Wow, tie that noose." Annabeth said with a stunned tone.

"He's toast. Extra crispy." Percy nodded.

Leo frowned, "But he's got fire powers."

"Not that point, Leo." Jason told him.

 **"No! No-no-no-no! You are far greater than he," Horkos quickly interjected. "As one who was present for the Crooked One's rule, believe me, Lord Zeus, you are the better ruler."**

"How was he while we were in his gut?" Poseidon asked Zeus.

"Always hungry. And somewhat fat." Zeus answered honestly.

 **"Indeed," Naruto said. He owed Horkos for that save. "You are fair and just, whereas the Crooked One ruled with fear. You mingle with man, knowing them and watching them closely, while the Crooked One ignored their value. Still, with so much concern of upsetting the Crooked One, man dared not fight one another as they do now."**

 **"So fear is key to peace?" Zeus asked.**

"Then I would have been the better ruler, huh?" Hades asked.

"Now _that's_ an interesting idea." Poseidon hummed.

"We are not doing that switch position day, Poseidon. I forbade it!" Zeus thundered.

"At least we still have causal Friday." Apollo smiled.

 **"No. Fear is a temporary peace," Naruto said. "Even though his reign was long, it was temporary. You have dealt with many ages, Lord Zeus. You have seen what causes most years of peace. After this battle" Naruto gestured to the view of the River Somme, where either side ignored the other. "great pain can also bring peace. This is also a flawed form of peace. Pained or wronged, humanity has the need for vengeance, or personal justice. A cycle of hatred that is deeply ingrained in the human mind, one that is** _ **very**_ **hard to break if not done early on."**

 **"Grudges are Hades' problem." Zeus grimaced.**

"It's my flaw, not my problem." Hades glared at Zeus. "I don't deal with others grudges. Well, any of you lot's grudges anyway." He looked at the Olympians. "You know, when you smite someone's child or not, or their lover? Stuff like that."

The Olympians either looked somewhat sheepish or tried to keep their composure after that comment.

 **"Yet they trouble humanity, do they not?" Naruto countered. "What humanity needs to learn is to take the pain in stride, to learn to truly forgive. When kings who cause pain or rule through fear realize that neither is effective, their control falters and revolution comes. Eventually, the kings are lost, as we've seen with the recent American Revolution. The war was lost and the grudges between the United States of America and England have long since gone. They are even united. Allies. They have acquired peace."**

 **"...Forgiveness is the key to peace?" Zeus asked, a bit upset at the somewhat dull words that came from his mouth.**

"You can see the gears turning." Percy told Annabeth in a whisper. She giggled and shoved him.

It would be best to not let the king hear him.

 **Naruto frowned, a bit upset at the simplification of his belief.**

"I think they're bonding." Jason blinked.

"No, there isn't any beer." Dionysus corrected the son of Rome. "You don't bond without some drinks."

 **"No. Understanding. England has come to understand that the United States of America is independent and the United States of America understands that England no longer wishes to rule. Neither rules the other, they understand what drives the other, and coexist peacefully."**

 **Zeus hummed and considered the younger god's words. "So if man can come to understand one another, forgo the pain one may have caused them if they knew the reason behind it, they could have peace?"**

Ares put two fingers in his mouth like a gun and pressed his thumb down. His head flung back and he slumped in his seat.

"And they say I'm the drama queen." Aphrodite mused with a roll of her eyes.

 **"That sums it up aptly, Lord Zeus," Naruto said. "But, as I told Horkos, I do not believe it possible now. That is why I strive for the future."**

 **"You hope for this to happen?"**

 **"I have faith in humanity to do the right thing when it needs to be done," Naruto said firmly. "Peace is not impossible for man."**

 **Zeus stared at the young god for a moment again before he nodded. "Athena's lessons have done you well, and your own mortal experiences give you wisdom she never could. You have swayed me, Boy of Fire, and from henceforth you shall be known as God of Peace as well as the God of the Hearth and Chakra."**

"Now that's a godly resume." Percy whistled. "What would I have been the god of if I took up the offer?"

"The god of sewers and toilets." Zeus answered with a straight face.

"And the god of punching bags!" Ares added with a mad grin. "Maybe street smears."

 **Naruto faltered for words before he ducked his head down. "Thank you, Lord Zeus."**

 **Zeus nodded curtly and left the two in a large show of lightning.**

"There's the ka-boom!" Hermes grinned.

 **After a moment passed, Horkos turned to smirk at Naruto.**

 **"So, God of Peace...thinking of marrying a certain goddess anytime soon?"**

Ares paled. "If they start spawning, I'm gonna hurl."

 **Naruto glared at the punisher. "I may be the God of Peace, but that doesn't mean I don't condone violence!"**

"…Okay, maybe there's hope yet." The war god grinned slightly.

 **"You are too easy."**

 **"Go eat a crow."**

 **It was an evening after the latest Olympian meeting, and Naruto was invited to relax at Apollo's temple as well as referee an arm wrestling match. While Naruto wouldn't mind hanging out with one of his favorite cousins, Naruto wanted to check on his student, Mahatma.**

"Wait, he taught Gandhi?" Nico asked in surprise.

"Not all famous people are demigods," Athena said. She gained a smile as she thought of a few of her students. "We do take a liking to some of them and talk in disguise with them. Perhaps even steer them in the right direction."

"Still, that's impressive." Annabeth thought about how she would have loved to meet the famous individual.

 **Apollo convinced him to come by telling him the opponent was not Hermes, but Ares. Seeing the god of war face off against the 'strongest son of Zeus' intrigued Naruto and he went.**

"Oh BS!" Ares snarled at the god. "Like _you're_ the strongest!"

"Uh, most domains? And god of the sun?" Apollo smirked. "I can own all y'all."

Hermes and Hephaestus gave looks of disagreement to the god.

"Save the measuring contest later boys." Athena sighed.

The demigods blanched at the thought while the four young gods began to glare or grumble at the goddess of wisdom.

 **"Come on, tough guy." Apollo taunted with a grin as he started to force Ares' hand back. The god of light grinned and his eyes turned a bit cold. "You're embarrassing yourself in front of our Lil' Cousin."**

 **"Screw off, Girly Boy!" Ares snarled. He grit his teeth and the ichor filled veins in his arm became visible as his strength waned against Apollo's own. Their younger cousin, who had just hit the age of fifteen, watched the exchange with interest.**

"He's entered godly puberty, he'll never last." Artemis shook her head.

Aphrodite scoffed before she grinned widely. "I wonder who will be his first?"

"A-hem?" Hestia frowned at the goddess.

"Oh come now, you wouldn't let him remain a virgin like yourself, would you Hestia?" Aphrodite asked. The silent smile that crossed Hestia's face worried Aphrodite slightly.

 **Naruto was mostly unaffected by his cousins' raw power. Unlike them, he was the son of one of the original six Olympians' domain. His mother's fire was unstoppable, and Naruto was much the same way. He'd gone and sought out the Nemean Lion to see what would last longer: his skin or the Lion's. The Lion's impenetrable skin faltered sooner than he'd expected and Naruto had gotten quite the scolding from his mother** _ **and**_ **the King for his experiment. Still, though, it was fun chasing the giant cat. He might do it again in a century or so.**

"He can pet that kitty all he wants," Percy and Thalia said. Both grimaced at the memory of the lion.

 **His flame colored eyes danced in entertainment as the god of war's arm was forced down towards the table, and Ares' faces were downright laughable. Finally, after an hour of relentless struggle on Ares' part, Apollo put a bit more effort into his push and the god's hand smacked against the imperial gold.**

"I love toying with you." Apollo chuckled as Ares fumed over his loss.

 **"Apollo wins." Naruto chuckled as the Californian appearing god stood with both of his fists in the air, nodding like a ham.**

 **"Again! Apollo wins,** _ **again**_ **!" Apollo corrected as he sat back down. He gave a bright cheeky grin to the war god. "That's, what? Five hundred, thirty-two to one? In my favor?"**

 **Ares growled at him. The one victory came when Apollo hustled him.**

Hermes wiped a tear away from his eye and smiled at Apollo. "I'm proud of you."

 **"Rematch!"**

 **"Nah, not feeling it. You wanna have a go, Naruto?" Apollo asked, glancing at his fellow blond god.**

 **Naruto scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Eh...While I wouldn't mind a good spar with an Olympian, I don't think Ares and I should challenge each other at anything. Politics, you know."**

"Ha! Coward!"

Athena looked at Ares with an amused smile on her face. "Do you really want Aunt Hestia after your head?"

Ares looked at the sickeningly sweet smile on Hestia's face and shook his head negatively.

"I thought as much."

 **Ares smirked at the young god. "Chicken."**

 **"No, that's being smart." Apollo agreed with a nod. "Hestia would blame not only** _ **you**_ **for injuring Naruto, but me, Zeus, Hera...See where I'm going with this?"**

"It'd be Woodstock '69 all over again." Apollo shivered, as did the rest of the gods.

"You were all making such a ruckus." Hestia pouted at them.

"I guess what happens at Woodstock, stays at Woodstock?" Percy asked his dad.

"Big time." Poseidon nodded grimly.

 **"Ah, family fightin' family never hurt nothing!" Ares protested with a grin. "Like that last war we had. Went global! Good times."**

 **Naruto snorted and crossed his arms as he adjusted himself on his mat-like chair. "Remind me to educate you on the Uchiha clan sometime."**

 **"Ares, Zeus would take your head clean off with his Master Bolt if it meant Hestia wouldn't be angry." Apollo drawled slowly. Ares' grin fell into a grimace.**

 **"Oh. Right...That's bad."**

"It is, I like my head."

"He learns!" Athena praised with awe.

"And so does Dite."

"…Gag me," Percy said as the rest of the demigods and some of the gods looked disguised at the grinning war god.

Ares snickered. "You all walked right into that one."

 **"Duh."**

 **Ares glared at the sun god. "Screw you, Sunspot."**

 **Naruto sighed and waved his hand. The table the two gods were sitting at suddenly lowered and their stools turned into cushions like the one Naruto sat on. Another wave and a pitcher of nectar along with several goblets appeared in the center. "Let's relax with the evening and talk, shall we?"**

 **"I'd rather go get laid," Ares said with a scowl.**

 **"Aphrodite is out with some mortal guy," Apollo poured himself some nectar. He drank down some of the nectar and sighed. "That's really good. Kind of rough, like mortal sake, but the burn afterwards."**

 **"It's spiked," Naruto said with a small grin. The two gods turned to him as he changed his goblet to a simple cup. "What? I'm the God of the Home. I want all to love their home and be comfortable within it. That doesn't mean I'm against booze."**

"Is he trying to replace me?!" Dionysus looked shocked and even a bit irritated.

"Well, you _are_ out of action soon, right?" Hermes asked with a grin.

Dionysus looked even paler than before.

 **"My opinion of you just rose a bit, shrimp." Ares grinned and turned his goblet into a mug. He took a long swig and after he swallowed, belched. "That's some good spike right there. Does have a burn to it."**

 **"I asked Dionysus for some advice." Naruto chuckled at the memory. "He was more than happy to share some of your vices when it came to your drinks."**

Dionysus wiped his brow and let out a relieved breath. "As long as it was only advice."

 **"Good ol' D. The chunky monkey knows I love the burn." Apollo grinned.**

 **Ares refilled his mug and drank a bit more. "Oh yeah. He's a sneaky bastard, too. Like that time the Crip trapped Hera..."**

 **"And scared you off?" Apollo added with a grin.**

 **Ares pointed a fat finger at the sun god. "Hey, the Crip was bluffing, Sunspot. I didn't know he didn't want to fight. Coward tricked me and now he's too busy to actually go a few rounds."**

"Yeah, my limp is shaking right now." The smith god said dryly. Ares looked eager at that.

"No fighting," Hera told her sons sternly.

Ares looked like a kicked puppy while Hephaestus snorted in disinterest.

 **"Coward, right..." Apollo shook his head. "There's a fight that would end with us being down an Olympian. Hey Naruto, you wanna sit on the council?"**

 **"Pass." Naruto shuddered and gained a haunted look in his eye. "I've been to council meetings before. The paperwork...the endless, endless paperwork..."**

 **"Geez, first you don't want to fight and now you're afraid of some cut up trees?" Ares asked with a snort.**

"Why do we use paper?" Demeter asked. "Think of the poor trees!"

Hades groaned into his hand while Zeus rubbed his beard. "I…Don't remember really."

Athena caught the glance sent her way and spoke up. "So that we may log things since the days of old."

"We should have gone digital on those already." Hermes suggested as he typed some things on his phone.

Athena frowned, while computers were nice, nothing beat holding the crisp paper of a book.

 **Naruto glared at him. "Until you've been stuck behind a desk filling out forms over and over again, going home each night to** _ **not**_ **have sex with your wife – may she rest her soul – and then going** _ **back**_ **to do the same thing you did the next day for three weeks straight, you have** _ **no**_ **right to judge me."**

"And this is why I have interns," Hermes said slyly. "You guys should honestly invest in some."

Murmurs of agreement started to come from the other gods. Hades in particular.

 **"Wife?" Apollo asked. He and Ares cringed slightly at the thought of Hera's domain being attributed to them.**

"If it didn't happen from back in Ancient Greece, it would never happen now." Hera scoffed. Though inwardly she was displeased that not even Ares would marry. His brother did! …Even if it was heavily dysfunctional and Ares was part of the cause…Hera needed another drink.

 **However, they didn't know much of Naruto's past life, he tended to keep it and his abilities close to his chest.**

 **Not for lack of Zeus or Ares' trying – one wanted to see how dangerous Naruto could be and the other wanted to see who was stronger.**

"Naruto." Everyone, minus Ares, agreed.

"…You all can suck my fat one." Ares scowled.

 **Naruto sat back and smiled fondly. "Yeah. She was a strange girl. Hot, though. I'd bring her back if I could, but...she's reincarnated into something...damnable."**

 **"Ooo, sorry to hear that," Apollo said.**

 **Naruto shook his head. "It's fine. She just wanted to get to the Isle of the Blest to be with me...but on the second try around she lost her path. Bathory was her end."**

 **"...You were** _ **married**_ **to the woman who became Elizabeth Bathory?" Apollo asked.**

"I wanted to slaughter that one personally." Artemis all but snarled. She glared at her father. "Though someone decided I could not."

"It fell under the justice system at the time, Artemis," Zeus said sternly. "She died in her prison, that is the end of that."

"Still, it was too good for her." The Huntress spat with venom.

 **"She must've been smoking hot the first time around...vanity must've ended her."**

 **"Maybe. Doesn't matter now. Hinata lives on in my memory. And despite what Mother thinks I think, I do want to remarry someday. Just...not so young," Naruto said. "Or without choice. Look at Hephaestus. Got the short end of the stick on that one."**

 **"Short end?" Ares asked dryly. "You've** _ **seen**_ **Aphrodite, right?"**

"I have. Everywhere." Ares grinned lewdly.

"Ares, shush," Hera said sternly.

 **Naruto looked at the god flatly. "Yes, and I** _ **know**_ **you have as well. Many times. Behind Hephaestus' back. Sometimes boldly in front of him." Naruto turned to Apollo. "Why hasn't he tried to divorce? I'm sure that if he put** _ **some**_ **effort into it, Hephaestus could have Athena as a bride."**

"She's a virgin for a reason." Annabeth frowned, she liked that her mom was single thank you.

 **"You'd think so, right?" Apollo snorted and drank more nectar. "Zeus turned him down, said Aphrodite was** _ **too**_ **beautiful. Could've split Olympus."**

"Thanks to the almighty libido." Thalia quipped dryly.

That brokered some snickers from the room. Zeus looked slightly hurt at the quip while Artemis held a tiny smile.

 **"Yeah...up until Athena or Hera heard about why there was fighting in the streets." Naruto smirked.**

 **"That's what** _ **I**_ **said!" Apollo sighed. "I even volunteered to marry her. I'm cool with an open marriage.**

"That's not a marriage at all!" Hera seethed.

"But ...we're gods." Apollo countered.

Hera looked like she wanted to strangle someone as Apollo tried to sway her with his 'logic'. Her eyes drifted to Thalia.

Thalia felt this and moved closer to Jason for safety.

"I'm not a shield." Jason whispered to her.

"Shush. Piper, read." The Hunter hissed.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Sure thing."

 **Both of us just need to have a kid once, then Mom's off my back for immortal legit children. Then she could sleep with whoever, I could sleep with whoever, and you know what else? Two of the hottest on Olympus, and no one would care. No brainer, right?"**

"That is…frighteningly logical." Athena knitted her brow in thought.

Artemis paled and looked to the goddess. "Athena, do not even think of supporting it!"

"I believe that a lot of pointless drama could have been avoided, Artemis."

The sun and love Olympians winked at each other as Artemis dreaded the thought of Aphrodite being her sister-in-law.

 **"Artemis would probably never speak to you again, though," Naruto said after a moment.**

 **Apollo slumped his shoulders and hung his head. "I know. That's what Zeus said."**

Apollo gave his twin a hopeful gaze, but she just huffed and turned her head away.

She would _never_ speak to Apollo again if he actually did manage to somehow marry Aphrodite.

 **Naruto chuckled. "I envy the bond you two share. It is a bond I have only felt once before. Granted, my 'brother' tried to kill me multiple times."**

"Oh, he's talking about the duck haired guy!" Hermes nodded in understanding.

"Yes, the psycho." Dionysus nodded. "He's crazier than anything I could do to a mortal."

"And I'm terrified." Percy shivered at the thought.

 **"Sounds like my kind of guy," Ares said with a smirk. Naruto and Apollo shook their heads at his comment, which made the god of war frown. "What?"**

 **"You're an idiot, Ares." Apollo snorted and drank more ichor.**

 **Ares scowled at Apollo. "You wanna go again, Apollo?"**

 **"Nah, I don't feel like having an easy win."**

 **"Oh it's on, girly boy!"**

 **Naruto sighed as Ares leapt across the table at the sun god and the two half-brothers began to roll around. The god of the home made the table levitate up as Ares and Apollo rolled past. Naruto drank some more of his sake and chuckled to himself.**

 **There was never a dull day when one was immortal.**

"Not true, we have our dry spells." Demeter sighed.

"I am not looking forward to that." Thalia muttered to herself.

Hades snorted. "You say it like you'll make it that long. I give you another decade, tops."

 **"Poseidon has a son?" Naruto blinked as his mother rubbed her forehead.**

"Hi, my name's Percy Jackson." The son of Poseidon waved.

"Hi Percy." The demigods chorused.

 **The god of the home adjusted the hold on his monk staff and sat down across from her. Hestia had called him to her temple after she'd gone to investigate why the Lord of the Sea was acting so skittish lately. Aside from Rhea, Hera and Demeter, Naruto was one of the few to earn Hestia's absolute trust with her duties as the First and Last Olympian.**

"…Ow," Poseidon said as he and his brothers frowned at Hestia.

"You are all _very_ rambunctious." The goddess merely returned.

 **"Yes. Poseidon's always been rebellious, but to break an oath on the Styx?" Hestia sighed. "Zeus' coupling with that Grace woman was, admittedly, always expected, but I thought Poseidon could've held out another century or so.**

"There had to be a pool going," Leo said.

"Oh, big time." Hermes nodded. "I mean, we all _knew_ Zeus would pop the top first. So we all had to bet on year, month, and day that would happen. Poseidon and Hades were _much_ easier to organize. Who would break the oath second, who would be third, or which would stay true, stuff like that."

"Who won?" Percy asked while his dad and Hades looked peeved about being bet on like that.

Zeus even looked rather stormy.

The gods looked at Apollo, who whistled innocently while he looked at a comic book.

"He so cheated." Hermes frowned.

Apollo looked back at him and shrugged. "You all _know_ I'm prophetic. It's not my fault you didn't keep me out!"

 **Hades has done so well, despite the di Angelo's deaths."**

Nico snorted and crossed his arms. "I'm still kicking."

"With proper medical assistance." Annabeth teased the younger demigod.

Nico's cheeks darkened. "Shut up, Chase."

 **Naruto hummed in agreement as he made a bowl of ramen appear before him. Hestia frowned at the bowl and it shifted into a broth filled with a soup of ambrosia, Naruto's chopsticks into a spoon. Naruto's shoulders slumped.**

 **"Really?"**

 **"You won't be eating that garbage in my home." Hestia frowned at her son. "Honestly, since you've regained all of your memories, your manners have vanished entirely."**

 **"Not entirely...Weren't we talking about Poseidon?" Naruto asked, attempting to change the subject from his vices. He stirred his broth and rested his cheek in his hand with a disappointed frown on his face. His mother's food was** _ **amazing**_ **...but it wasn't Ramen. He really needed to build his own temple sometime, then he could eat Ramen whenever he wanted.**

 **Hestia sighed and shook her head. "We were. We all understood Zeus breaking his oath and we knew eventually Poseidon would break...but so soon afterwards?"**

 **"It's only been what? Five years or so?" Naruto asked after he ate some of the broth before him. "So what happened when you told Lord Zeus?"**

 **"Zeus does not know."**

"No one tells me anything!" Zeus grimaced.

"We can only wonder why." Hades mocked scathingly.

 **Naruto dropped his spoon and stared at his mother. "You're not going to tell him?"**

 **"When Poseidon told me he broke his oath, I left." Hestia frowned, showing great distress to her son. "I asked no questions and did not wish to hear his reasoning. All I know is that there is a demigod out there that does not know of his origin, most likely won't know of his family before he dies. The scent of my brothers' blood is potent, even when demigods are unaware of their origins."**

"Thanks for that heads up, by the way," Percy said to his father.

Poseidon had the decency to look abashed. "Sorry, Percy."

 **Naruto frowned and sat back. "Telling Lord Zeus so soon after the death of Thalia Grace...Yes, he'd be likely to lash out as Hades did after the oath was made."**

 **"I will not damn a woman or child to death because my brothers are unable to control their lust. This is why I didn't marry or lay with a god," Hestia said with a sigh. "I must inform Mother."**

Poseidon covered his eyes with a pained noise. His mother was…most unhappy with him breaking the oath. Not the fact that he had a child. No, she was upset that he broke the agreement he had made. Zeus got the first brunt of that anger _twice_ thankfully.

 **"Is that wise?" Naruto asked. "Rhea may not be allowed on Olympus, but she may not be able to keep this from Lord Zeus. If you go to visit her so soon after visiting Poseidon it may seem suspicious."**

 **Hestia looked at her son. "What would you suggest?"**

 **Naruto interlaced his hands, his eyes turned from fire into calm blues. Hestia watched her son gain a mortal form, that of a young man. Naruto slid from the slightly larger chair, now at a respectable six-foot height. He rubbed his cheeks and hummed thoughtfully.**

"What does he think he's doing?" Zeus asked with a frown.

Apollo hummed and rubbed his chin. "I think he's going to check on lil' Percy."

Poseidon displayed mixed feelings at this announcement while Hades rolled his eyes and Zeus' features darkened.

The demigods, on the other hand, looked intrigued.

"Well, this just got a lot more interesting," Percy said.

 **"Birthmarks aren't as prominent for this Age are they?" he asked. Hestia shook her head and he grimaced. "A beard it is, then." A second later and his birthmarks were obscured by the same shade of yellow that covered his head in a neatly trimmed beard, much like how Poseidon had taken to trim his own. Naruto rubbed his face with a scowl. "I hate facial hair. It's itchy and uncomfortable."**

"That's why I like to be smooth, unlike some people." Hades smirked to his bearded brothers.

"Ah yeah!" Apollo cheered and held up his hand. "Air five, Uncle H!"

"No." Hades denied him bluntly.

"…Don't leave me hanging!"

"No, please. By all means, hang yourself."

"...Ouch."

 **"You look slightly respectable...Slightly longer hair to go with the beard, perhaps?" Hestia suggested.**

 **Naruto frowned and rubbed his hair. "What's wrong with my cut?"**

 **"It's a bit too short to match that beard," Hestia said. With the Greeks' fascination of facial hair, brought on by Zeus' own fascination with it, came the knowledge most had when it came to be done. "Why are you doing this?"**

 **"Me? I'm going to go meet my cousin," Naruto said with a grin as he finished his mortal form.**

"He shouldn't!" Zeus scowled.

"He's not me, there's nothing wrong with it." Poseidon told him with a smile.

"Oh, loophole!" Apollo beamed. He covered his mouth and turned to Hermes. "Hey, wanna 'swap-meet' kids?"

"We'll work out details later." Hermes whispered back.

 **He still wore orange robes and his monk staff was still in hand.**

"He looks like the crazy squirrel guy living in Central Park." Percy frowned in thought.

"New York City is weird," Nico said. This was coming from someone who lived in the Underworld part time.

 **Hestia giggled slightly. "Not dressed like that, my son."**

 **Naruto frowned and pulled at his robe. "Why not? Is it the orange? Please tell me it's not the orange."**

 **"It's not the orange, it's the clothes themselves. We may not care how we appear, but man does not dress so loosely in the United States," Hestia said, an amused smile on her face. She tapped her cheek. "I suppose if you want to look whatever part you're going for, you should ask Apollo when he returns from his duty...or when he next steps onto Olympus, if he's with another woman."**

 **"That could be weeks..." Naruto grimaced.**

"One woman a day, keeps Apollo away." Artemis grit out as she glared at her twin.

"I am _not_ that bad!" Apollo huffed.

 **Apollo may be a player, but he wasn't jumping from girl to girl daily. He did take some time to get to know a girl before he lay with them.**

Apollo nodded. "Exactly!"

 **"Well, then you could go ask Aphrodite or Eros for assistance," Hestia said. She gained a small frown. "Actually, wait until Apollo returns. Aphrodite has been...bored lately."**

Aphrodite squawked in outrage. "Hestia! You know I would make him fabulous!"

"But at what cost?" the hearth goddess murmured.

 **"Is that a bad thing?" Naruto asked.**

 **"Not exactly..." Hestia didn't want her son to be enticed by Aphrodite, but she couldn't well lie to him either. "Ares has been philandering around lately..."**

 **"...And your point is?" Naruto blinked, mild confusion on his face.**

"Yikes," Apollo said with a grimace. "Someone's sheltered."

"Well, someone has to do something to ensure he knows all the pleasures of immortal-Dibs!" Hermes declared.

"Hermes!" Hestia frowned at her nephew while Apollo let out an affronted squawk.

"Dude! Not cool! I wanted to do that!"

Artemis scowled at the two. "He's not even real here!"

"But we know what he tends to look like in other universes," Aphrodite said with a wide grin.

 **Hestia sighed. "Just, keep in mind why you went to see her."**

 **"New clothes, apparently," Naruto said with a frown as he looked at his robes. He shrugged and lifted a hand in a farewell wave before he vanished in his choice of instantaneous travel: a swirl of leaves.**

"That burn away like ashes afterwards," Apollo said. He blinked and started to jot down a note. "That'd be a cool hero thing..."

 **Hestia didn't know where he obtained his fascination with leaves, but assumed it to be a part of his past life. The Goddess of the Hearth turned to her domain and frowned slightly. Why was her son so secretive?**

"Because they don't tell their mothers everything, sister." Hera sighed heavily.

Hestia frowned a tad. "Still, it can't be that bad."

"There are just some things sons don't share with mothers, Hestia," Zeus said to his sister. His brothers and sons nodded in agreement.

 **Naruto laughed as he lifted a young boy with brilliant sea green eyes and dark hair up above him. "Look at that, you can fly!"**

"He can fly?" Piper asked.

"He can fly!" Jason gasped.

Leo pointed at the sky. "It's Percy Pan!"

"Very funny." Percy drawled.

 **It had been four years since he was informed of his cousin's existence, and three years since Naruto inserted himself firmly in the lives of the Jackson household. The young god cherished the memory of the day he walked into the house, dressed in worn jeans and an orange shirt that Eros had chosen. (Apparently, Aphrodite had found a 'yummy' companion and left Eros to deal with any matters on Olympus for her, and Eros was in a better mood than he usually was.)**

"Dick." Nico grunted with a scathing frown.

 **Naruto had introduced himself properly to Sally Jackson, who saw that he was not as young as he seemed. She was uneasy around him at first, considering he was a god and all, but when she realized that her son took a liking to his cousin, Sally began to relax.**

"Well, he _is_ the god of peace, so there isn't much to be afraid of," Poseidon said. "I mean, it's not like he'd set fire to the house or something."

"I don't know, one bad sneeze is all it takes." Hephaestus chuckled sheepishly at some memories.

 **The young boy in Naruto's grasp laughed and held his arms out. "I'm Superman! Mommy look!"**

"Hey…" Jason frowned at Percy.

"I was a kid!"

"Still, it's the principle of the matter."

 **"Yes Percy, I can see that." Sally smiled as she looked up from where she was preparing a cake for the soon to be seven year old. "Careful Naruto. I don't want to have to put ice on any bruises this year."**

 **"Maa, you worry too much, Sally," Naruto said as he moved Percy to sit on his shoulders. The disguised immortal walked into the kitchen and took a deep breath. "Mm-mm. Smells good in here, like my Mother's cooking."**

"A compliment of the highest order." Poseidon smiled as the other gods nodded.

"My meals simply taste like a good home cooked meal, that's all." Hestia waved off the praise.

 **"Well, I wouldn't say I'm that good," Sally said quickly. She whacked Naruto's hand with a wooden spoon when he tried to sneak a bit of batter on his finger. Percy giggled while Naruto hissed and shook his hand. "You'll do like Percy and wait until it's done to get a taste."**

 **"But that'll take** _ **hours**_ **," Naruto groaned.**

 **Percy patted Naruto's head. "Root, Smelly Gabe is out today! We can watch TV!"**

"Oh, yeah," Percy frowned deeply. "He's still around."

 **Well, Gabe learned quickly to leave the house whenever Naruto was to be around. The young god didn't care for the chosen shield and made his dislike of the man known. There may have even been a threat or two, a hole made by Naruto's fist right beside Gabe's head or the snapping of a shotgun barrel over Naruto's knee when Gabe tried to prevent Naruto from entering. It was the last time Gabe tried anything and he quickly made himself scarce, as Naruto implanted a sixth sense to alert the man when he would be coming.**

"Best. Nephew. Ever." Poseidon decided with finality.

"Ow." Apollo pouted and put a hand over his chest. "That hurts, Uncle P."

"It's the truth," Poseidon said with a light smile.

Apollo grimaced. "That just hurts more!"

"Can you guys really mess with mortal minds that much?" Frank asked.

"Oh, definitely, Fred Chang." Dionysus told him with a casual wave of his hand. "That's not even piercing the top of the barrel."

That was an unsettling thought.

 **Naruto looked at Sally with a playful grin. "Has anyone ever told you that your son is a** _ **genius**_ **?"**

"Does not compute." Leo replied in a robotic tone.

"Hey, I'm battle smart." Percy argued. "That counts for something."

"That's actually very valid." Frank admitted.

Leo shook his head. "Still doesn't compute to me."

 **"Not enough, sadly." Sally returned with a small frown. Naruto's chuckle made her look at him, to see the god look up at Percy with a grin.**

 **"Good! Being smart's overrated, Percy. Find a pretty girl with big brains to do all the thinking for you," Naruto said informatively while Sally gaped at him.**

"Wow, foresight?" Annabeth smirked to her boyfriend.

Percy grinned back at her. "Has to be."

Apollo frowned and crossed his arms. "No way."

"Upset, Sunspot?" Ares asked with a smirk.

"Shut up, Losing Streak."

Ares snarled at Apollo for the name.

 **Percy scrunched his nose up and scowled. "Girls are yucky."**

"Give him a few years and see how long that lasts." Aphrodite giggled eagerly.

Artemis sighed. "Well, at least it's not so bad."

 **"This is also true, but nevertheless! They are needed." Naruto chuckled when Sally waved her wooden spoon at him.**

 **"Who are you to say that girls are yucky?" Sally asked.**

 **"Are you kidding me? With all those things that happen later in their lives? Girls are** _ **disgusting**_ **."**

"Not the smartest thing for him to say," Leo said with a grimace as the girls near him started to scowl.

"He's not entirely wrong, though." Apollo shrugged. "The human body can be appealing, but it's also kind of gross if you look at it from a certain stand point. Or fascinating from another. It's all about perspective"

"Besides, he was just playing," Hermes said with a grin. "You'd be surprised how many girls would agree with that. Or be intrigued enough to start a conversation or argument." He grinned wider. "Angry sex. Always fun."

Artemis scowled at the two of them. "Yet again, another example of the impossibility that is a decent god."

"Decency is overrated. Bring on the boobies!" Apollo cheered with Hermes and Ares grinning in agreement with him. Even Hephaestus had a small smirk on his face.

Artemis groaned into her hand. "My brothers are all idiots..."

 **Naruto quickly ducked out of the kitchen with a giggling Percy in tow after Sally took a swat at Naruto's head.**

 **"Don't say things like that around Percy, he's too young for it!"**

 **"Ah, I heard worse when I was his age!"**

 **Sally frowned and decided to go back to cooking while Naruto and Percy sat down on the couch, both quickly engrossed in** _ **Pokémon**_ **. They watched TV for another hour before Percy became bored.**

"Dealing with a younger, ADHD riddled Percy? That sounds like a real punishment." Nico grinned.

"I was not that bad. And like you're one to talk, Mr. Mythomagic." Percy returned fire as the son of Hades' cheeks colored.

 **He then (re-)introduced Naruto to his toys, who quickly volunteered to be the villain as they played. Sally called the two into the kitchen a bit later and Percy blew out his candles. Naruto tried to get the wish out of him like he had the year before, but Percy was firm and unmoving.**

"Like a glacier." Reyna smirked.

"Poor, poor Titanic." Poseidon sighed. "Such a fine ship."

"Great movie, too." Apollo grinned.

 **While Percy enjoyed his blue cake, Naruto chuckled and ate the one corner of orange that Sally created for him.**

"No! It'll contaminate the blue!"

Annabeth palmed her face at her boyfriend's antics.

 **"He reminds me of his-"**

 **"I know." Sally quickly interjected, a smile on her face. She fiddled with her fork for a moment before she quietly asked. "How is he?"**

"Oh ho!" Aphrodite's eyes gleamed with excitement. "So, some fire for the old flame?"

"It wasn't a flame." Poseidon frowned.

"They are to most of us, no matter how special they were, Poseidon."

The Earthshaker grunted at that, but still, at least Sally was happy with that Blowfish fellow.

 **"Still watching over Percy whenever he can," Naruto said softly. The disguised god took a bite of the orange colored cake slice before him. "He saw me with you when you went to the aquarium."**

 **"Aquarum?" Percy looked up, blue cake smeared slightly around his mouth. His sea green eyes glistened excitedly.**

Annabeth cooed at the image. "You look so cute."

Percy looked away with a blush. "Uh, yeah."

"I sense more of these moments in the future." Thalia teased the couple.

 **He put more cake into his mouth and asked. "We goin' again?"**

 **"Perseus Jackson, you finish chewing that food before you talk," Sally said firmly. While Percy worked on his intake, Sally turned to Naruto. "Did you get in trouble?"**

 **Naruto chuckled around another bite. "For what? Keeping an eye on Percy? Nah. He did make me take an Oath though. Had Horkos witness it and everything."**

"No making smooth jazz with Sally?" Apollo asked innocently. "I know I would."

Poseidon glared heatedly at him.

Percy looked green.

 **"...Another knows-?" Sally asked worriedly.**

 **"Three in total know of Percy," Naruto said softly. He finished his slice of cake and took care of his plate before he returned to the table. "My mother, my friend and myself. My friend watches over broken Oaths, so he found out once Poseidon had broken his. Horkos is no fool, nor is he merciless unlike his counterpart. He knows to keep quiet."**

 **"Why are you whisperin', Root?" Percy asked in the only way a seven year old could.**

 **Naruto turned to Percy and ruffled the mess of dark hair on his head. "Don't worry about it, Percy. Just talking about grown up stuff. Like, when is the birthday boy going to finish his cake so he can get his present?"**

 **If that didn't distract Percy, then nothing would. Thankfully, like most birthday children, Percy beamed at the thought of presents and tried to hurry up his meal.**

"Wow, cake in the hair?" Jason asked.

"Blue cake is good in any form or place. It's _that_ amazing."

"That's so wrong." Thalia frowned. "I mean, Jason was a messy eater as a baby-"

"Thank you, Thalia." The son of Jupiter flushed.

"-but for a kid to get it everywhere? Come on, Percy." The hunter continued as if her brother didn't interrupt her.

"…It's blue."

"That's not an argument!"

 **Naruto winked at Sally, who shook her head.**

 **"The way you act, you'd have children of your own," Sally said. She realized her words and looked at Naruto, who's eyes had changed from youthful blue to the blues of an old tired man.**

 **"Yeah...something like that..." Naruto smiled in memory of his only true children. Boruto and Himawari Uzumaki. Both died before the end of their Age, the Age of Bronze. Naruto's jaw flexed and he shook himself from the memories when Percy declared that he had finished his cake.**

 **"Can I open my presents now?" Percy asked innocently. Sally and Naruto laughed before Sally excused herself to grab something from upstairs. Percy turned to Naruto, who shrugged.**

 **"Don't look at me, Percy. I don't know what it is." Naruto grinned when Percy pouted. The kid was a lot like himself as a child, minus the prankster streak. That could be fixed, though. Poseidon seemed to approve of his, Apollo and Hermes' pranks, so maybe there's a part of Percy that would enjoy it, too.**

"Meh," Percy shrugged. "Not my thing."

"But a young impressionable Percy?" Hermes grinned.

"Now that's what I call open season!" Apollo chuckled as he waved an orange flag with a spiral on it. "Go Naruto!"

Annabeth felt sorry for her other. Percy got into enough trouble as it was without actually causing a mess on purpose. If he did pick up pranks...Annabeth paled at the thought.

 **Sally returned with a large box wrapped in shiny blue paper, a green bow on the top.**

 **"Here you are, Percy. Happy birthday," Sally said with a small kiss on Percy's cheek. Percy's smile widened and he tore into the box, elated when he pulled out two new action figures, both of which were mostly blue.**

 **Naruto had to excuse himself and step outside while he 'obtained' his gift. Naruto walked out onto the porch and clapped his hands together as he closed his eyes. It wasn't hard for a god to create an inanimate object, but this was more familiar to Naruto, and he felt considering what he was going to make, it was necessary. Naruto's eyes opened to reveal crossed pupils and golden irises.**

 **Naruto's hands flipped through several seals before he brought his hands clenched together. "Banbutsu Sōzō (Creation of All Things)!"**

"Why did he say that? He's a god, can't he just make stuff?" Hazel asked. Sure, she got that it was very sentimental, but it was also a bit unnecessary.

"Because it's cool." Apollo answered simply, which got faltering looks from the demigods.

None of the Olympians disagreed with him.

 **Naruto's hands shone bright orange. As he pulled his hands back, a blue cloth with a familiar metal protector bolted to the front appeared from thin air. Naruto exhaled when the creation was done, and his eyes returned to the blues he used to blend with humanity. He smiled down at the carved spiral set before him and traced it lightly with his thumb before he walked back into the house.**

 **Percy looked up from where he played with his toys as Naruto crouched down in front of him, a serious look on his face.**

 **"Percy," he said softly. "When I was your age, I was enrolled in a school that taught me how to protect my precious people. When I graduated, I was given a special headband from my favorite teacher." Naruto smiled lightly as he brought his hand from behind his back. "This is the symbol of the Leaf, where the Will of Fire burns forever brightly. And I want you to have it."**

"…I get to be a ninja!"

"Percy." Thalia sighed. "Just because you have that headband, it doesn't mean-"

"Shush, non-ninja person!" Percy halted her. "I'm embracing the ninjatude."

"…That's not even a word!"

"Embracing!"

 **Percy's eyes looked at the offered headband in Naruto's hand. He put a hand on it, and was stopped from taking it by a hand Naruto placed over it.**

 **"This is only one of the two gifts I have for you," Naruto said. "My other gift will be to teach you what I learned."**

 **"...Like kung-fu?" Percy asked innocently.**

"Everybody was kung-fu fightin'~"

"No." Artemis interrupted her twin.

Apollo pouted. "But it's perfect!"

"Let us listen to the story, not your pop culture."

Apollo huffed in disappointment, his twin was such a Debby Downer.

 **Naruto smiled. "Better than Kung-Fu. You know the Power Rangers?"**

 **"Yeah?"**

 **Naruto leaned in and whispered. "I could beat all of them."**

"Lies!" Apollo bellowed in outrage.

"Well duh," Hermes said with a smirk. "He's coercing Lil' Percy to his side."

"Still, it's a lie!" Apollo hissed.

 **"Nuh-uh!"**

 **"Oh yeah. And their Megazord."**

 **"No way! You're lying," Percy protested. Nothing beat the Power Rangers or their Megazord.**

"Nothing beats the Power Rangers…except Hasbro marketing." Hermes grinned wickedly.

Apollo gave him a venomous look. "Toy marketing should not run a show! Look at the Turtles, nothing compares to the eighties show anymore!"

 **Naruto looked at Sally, who was watching them from the couch. "Ask your mom. She knows."**

 **Percy looked to Sally, who looked conflicted for a moment before she nodded. "He taught them everything the Power Rangers know, Percy. Even the blue ranger."**

 **Percy looked back at Naruto with awe. "You're the Blue Rangers' teacher?"**

"More lies!"

"Meh, I'd believe it as a kid., Percy said, which got a gasp from Apollo.

Thalia turned to her cousin with a look of disappointment on her face. "Billy frowns upon you!"

 **"Yep, except I'm not a Power Ranger," Naruto said. "I am a ninja."**

 **"Ninja!" Percy exclaimed. That made Naruto instant cool.**

 **"The strongest ninja," Naruto said, his grin wide. "So tell me, Percy Jackson. You wanna be a ninja?"**

 **"Yeah!"**

Percy grinned at the others seated around him. "You can all be jealous now."

"With Naruto training him…" Annabeth looked stunned. "Percy's going to be even _more_ broken than before."

"That's such bull." Nico crossed his arms and scowled. "So not fair."

"Jeal-ous~!"

 **Naruto smiled and let Percy take the headband. "First, enjoy your birthday, then tomorrow after school, I'll come back and teach you."**

 **Percy nodded and rushed over to his mother, who tied his headband to his head. Percy began to pretend to be a Power Ranger and played with his new toys, while Naruto led Sally to the kitchen and told her why he said what he did.**

 **"Your son is the son of a god," Naruto said. "Best intentions aside, sheltering him will not protect him forever. One day will come where you will wish you hadn't. I will ensure that you never feel guilty for loving your son, and give him a way to protect himself from monsters. It will not be easy, Sally. I will not go easy, either."**

 **Sally grimaced at the god's words. "But he's so young-"**

 **"Trust me, he's not that young. One of my teachers was only five when he began to learn what I will teach Percy." Naruto interrupted her. "I promise that he will return with nothing more than a small cut and some minor bruising."**

"Hide the evidence with a splash of water." Leo snickered.

"Broken as hell healing power." Apollo grumbled with a dirty look directed at his uncle.

"We've already gone over this, Apollo." Poseidon sighed. "I cannot help it if they are born with the gift."

The god of healing scoffed. "I call bull."

 **Sally wanted to protest, but knew that it was for Percy's sake. "You're not going to do anything too bad, are you?"**

 **"Well, I might throw him off the edge of a cliff...Happened to me when I was young..." Naruto hummed thoughtfully. He chuckled nervously when Sally grew horrified. "Kidding, kidding, I'd never do that to anyone. Well, not unless they really deserved it."**

"Be sure to stay on your best behavior then, Percy." Reyna chuckled out around her smile.

"Trust me, I don't like being tossed off cliffs. It sounds painful." Percy winced at the thought. He'd already fallen off a building. He was done falling.

 **"...If you weren't a god, I would kick you out," Sally said with a frown.**

 **Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, that was a bad joke. Sorry."**

 **"Don't lose focus. Reign in your temper. Beat me this time, Percy." Naruto grinned as he caught the now ten-year-old Percy's attempted roundhouse. The boy wore his headband less often in public than he did when he was younger, but he always wore it when Naruto trained him, something that made Naruto happy. It showed that Percy still wanted to train. As well as a blue gi that Naruto had 'gotten' as a gift. The material was lighter than what Naruto had worked with, but that helped Percy when it came to initially training him.**

"Like Dragonball Z." Percy gushed as his inner fanboy reared its head.

"Oh gods..." Annabeth groaned and rubbed her eyes. She hoped this ended soon.

 **Percy grunted as he was thrown to the ground, but quickly returned to his feet and charged his teacher once again. He leapt into another roundhouse and pushed off of the blocking arm. Percy spring-boarded from the ground with a punch aimed at Naruto's cheek.**

 **"Good recovery, Percy." Naruto appraised as he blocked Percy's punch. Naruto stopped a follow up knee with his other hand, his grin wide and proud as he pushed the boy back to the ground. "Very good! Flawless adaption and speed. But you're better than that. One hit, Percy, and you move onto the next step in the Gōken."**

 **Naruto decided to teach Percy the style that Gai and Rock Lee mastered because of Percy's parentage. Poseidon was a powerhouse, like, stupidly powerful, even for a god.**

"Poseidon, stop flexing." Athena rolled her eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Poseidon said innocently as he rolled his arm. "I have a kink in my shoulder. That's all."

Aphrodite grinned at the goddess. "Why? Were you looking?"

"As if." Athena looked disgusted at the thought.

 **He could lift mountains over his head and throw them with ease. Poseidon shook the earth itself when the need arose. His affinity for earth was nearly on par with Hades'. It was to be expected that Percy was also over-powered, so Naruto worked with it and honed the boy to take hits and keep going. Again, Naruto was reminded of himself and his children.**

"Like an American Naruto." Jason chuckled.

Percy messed with his hair. "Hm, I don't think I'd rock blond hair. Blue eyes though…"

"No." Annabeth told him firmly. "We have enough blond in this relationship and I like your eyes."

Percy grinned at her and pecked her cheek. "I know."

 **The Uzumaki were meant to be tanks, plain and simple.**

 **Percy was meant to be one as well, but unlike the Uzumaki, he needed guidance. Comrades to have his back.**

 **With some uneasy whispers of some unnatural monster activity Naruto had been hearing on Olympus, Naruto had the feeling that Percy would be getting those comrades sooner than later.**

"Stop it!" Apollo whined. He pouted. "Foresight's my shtick."

 **So, Naruto had to push the training further.**

 **"Come at me with the intent to kill, Percy." Naruto's smiled widened by another fraction when Percy hesitated. Percy wasn't keen on taking lives.**

"Boo! You suck!"

"Ares, silence." Hestia warned sternly.

The war god grunted as he clammed up.

Percy sent his aunt a grateful look.

 **That would make him stronger in the end, as stupid as it sounded. Taking a life was easy, but letting an enemy live? That was hard.**

"That's how it is in a nutshell," Nico said with a solemn nod.

 **Percy grit his teeth and climbed to his feet. He jumped up and brought his leg up high.**

 **"Leaf Drop, interesting choice." Naruto grinned as he braced himself. The leg landed against Naruto's crossed arms and Naruto felt himself move marginally into the earth. For a brief moment, Naruto let his excitement overcome him and his eyes flashed to their true form.**

"So the peace god gets battle happy?" Frank questioned. "How is that possible?"

"Dunno, but I do know one thing." Ares grinned. "That's a _good_ thing."

 **Percy's determined look faltered and his follow up attack fell through as he lost balance.**

 **"Ow," Percy groaned from where he landed on the ground. He rubbed his back and looked back at his teacher, the blond's eyes back to the blue they originally were. Weird, he could've sworn they had become balls of fire for a moment.**

"Yeah, that'd make me think twice, too." Leo snickered.

 **"You okay, Percy?" Naruto asked as he held a hand out.**

 **"I'm good, I just thought I saw something. My ADHD distracted me again," Percy said with mild disappointment as he got to his feet with the older man's help. He groaned again when an alarm rang. "Man...I was so sure I got you, too."**

"That's cute, you thought you could beat a god." Thalia snickered.

Percy pointed at Ares with his thumb. "I beat him. I wonder how much faster I'll beat him this time."

Ares gritted his teeth, though looked a bit worried also. Crap baskets.

 **Naruto chuckled. "Who said you didn't? Look behind me."**

 **Percy looked behind Naruto and saw the imprint of his feet. The son of Poseidon gaped and looked back at the proudly grinning Naruto.**

 **"That was all you, kid." Naruto placed a hand on Percy's shoulder. "You're getting stronger and faster, but remember to keep control and focus."**

 **"Yes, Sensei," Percy said, with a mocking bow. He got a light smack on the head.**

 **"Don't call me that. Now c'mon, let's go get some grub and tomorrow we'll begin the first steps of being a Lotus user." Naruto nodded towards the car parked a good distance away.**

 **Percy followed Naruto to the car and grinned. "I want a burger and a blue shake."**

 **Naruto shook his head. "For the love of, Percy they don't serve Blue Shakes."**

"They should!"

 **"They should." Percy frowned.**

Percy nodded. "As expected of the other me."

 **"If there's any shake that should be served, it's not** _ **blue**_ **, but** _ **orange**_ **." Naruto nodded firmly.**

 **"Blech. Blue's the way to go, Naruto."**

 **"Orange is the color of the gods!"**

"Camp Half-Blood approved," Nico said dryly with a thumbs up.

"I still suggested to change it to blue." Percy pouted. "But they outvoted me on it."

Annabeth patted his head in a mocking fashion.

"There, there."

 **"Yeah, sure it is, Naruto."**

 **"It is!"**

 **"This is some serious bullshit." Naruto frowned as he stood outside of the council chambers on Olympus, still in mortal form. He just wanted to congratulate Percy on completing his first quest, but** _ **no**_ **, Zeus had to be all-uppity after all the crap the poor kid went through. And now they refused to believe what Percy said about The Crooked One? Seriously? Even the God of Peace knew when things were going to go bad, the theft of Zeus' Master Bolt was just the beginning. Naruto felt it in his ichor.**

"Hope he doesn't side with Granddad on that one," Hermes said thoughtfully.

Zeus grunted, he was so tired of that being thrown into his face. Honestly, it was a simple mistake of ignoring Poseidon's boy. Nothing terrible.

 **Naruto grunted as Hestia lightly whapped him with a poking iron. "Language."**

 **"Percy's not even out here."**

 **"Children can hear everything that isn't meant for their ears. It's an inherent talent, really," Hestia said with a sigh.**

 **"I heard worse when I was his age. Hell, I was already looking at magazines. Ow! Seriously?"**

 **"Language."**

"Tough love." Aphrodite winked at Hestia.

Hestia smiled lightly. "Children need a strong hand every once in a while."

 **"Since when is Hell a swear? Ow!" Naruto rubbed his head and glowered at his mother. "This is punishment for something other than my language isn't it?"**

 **"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hestia said with a small smile.**

 **Naruto frowned at her. "Uh-huh...sure."**

 **The matter was dropped as the council doors opened and Percy walked out, Poseidon at his side. Hestia walked away before Percy or Poseidon could greet her. Naruto had seen the secretive smile on the First and Last Olympian's face. He grinned, his mom was a great prankster.**

"She vanishes…like a ninja." Apollo hummed. "Huh, it's no wonder she got a ninja kid."

 **"Naruto?" Percy's question made Naruto look at him. "What are you doing here? Wait. Don't tell me you're a god, too."**

"Perceptive Percy is perceptive." Annabeth rubbed Percy's head and smiled at her boyfriend. "I'm so proud."

"Hey!" Percy batted her hand away with a pout. "I can see in-between the lines."

"Once in a blue moon." The blonde sighed dramatically.

"...You're lucky you're cute."

Annabeth kissed his cheek.

"I know."

 **"You know, I just might be," Naruto said playfully before he nodded to Poseidon. "Glad to hear everything is under control in there."**

 **Poseidon frowned. "How did you hear anything?"**

 **"The hearth may not have ears, but it always listens," Naruto said sagely.**

 **Percy groaned. "That doesn't make sense."**

 **"Your little girlfriend would get it," Naruto shot back with a grin.**

"Seems he knows the score." Thalia smirked at the couple. "I can't believe how obvious you two were even then."

"Oh, I know!" Aphrodite gushed. "I couldn't wait until it finally happened."

 **He laughed and Poseidon chuckled as Percy flushed red and hotly protested Naruto's words. Naruto wiped a tear from his eye and reverted his face to his godly one, his blue eyes replaced by flames and his beard shaven to reveal his whiskered cheeks. Naruto ruffled Percy's hair. "Good going, kid. I knew you had it in you. We'll stop training over weekends and shift everything to summertime."**

"Does that mean I'll get help?" Dionysus looked hopeful.

"I doubt it, D." Hermes snickered.

"Ah, I can wish though…" The wine god sighed heavily.

 **"Training?" Poseidon asked, slightly interested and disturbed. "Training in what?"**

 **Percy frowned. "You didn't know Naruto was training me?"**

 **"He's the Lord of the Seas, Percy, not of the little plot of woods we train at," Naruto said with a grin. He placed a finger to his lips. "Remember, we are secretive." Naruto then nodded to a slightly disturbed Poseidon. "See you around, Uncle Side'n."**

"Favorite." Poseidon bragged.

"Oh, like we care." Hades snorted.

Zeus frowned. He wasn't going to lie, he did care a little bit.

 **Naruto vanished in a swirl of leaves and Poseidon looked at his son. "What training is he talking about? Demigod training?"**

 **"Can't say, Dad. I promised," Percy said with a playful smile that made Poseidon purse his lips before he shrugged.**

 **"As long as you are safe. Come, let us talk before you return to Camp Half-Blood."**

"And then we go out for ice cream." Percy added.

"That's not there." Piper said as she closed the book.

"Well, it should be."

"I enjoyed it." Hestia smiled. "It was nice to know what it would be like to have a son like Naruto."

"Good for you, Sister." Hera complimented.

"Thank you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own** ** _Naruto_** **or** ** _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_** **. I** ** _do_** **own both the novel and the game** ** _The Force Unleashed_** **(I & II).**

 **AN: It would be wise during the fights to play "Duel of the Fates" by John Williams. Word of warning.**

 **Reading: Prince of Heaven**

"What next on the list?" Percy asked his girlfriend as she was checking off a list she had made.

"Hm." Annabeth hummed thoughtfully. "We have a few left."

The book vanished from Piper's grasp and landed on Jason's head.

"Ow!"

"Well, the book has spoken. Jason, you read bro." Leo grinned at the blond, who was rubbing his sore head.

"It could just land in my hands if it wanted me to read." The son of Jupiter frowned.

Nico nodded. "Yes, it could. But it wouldn't be half as funny that way."

After giving the son of Hades a withering glare, Jason read the title of the next installation. "Prince of Heaven?"

"…What?" Zeus rumbled out. Hera blinked.

"Oh yes!" Aphrodite cackled like a lunatic. "Finally!"

"I highly doubt I did anything of the sort," Hera said heatedly to the tittering goddess while Zeus glared at her. Hera glared back. "What are you looking at, Swan-Man?"

Zeus grunted and looked away from her with displeasure on his face.

"This just got infinitely more entertaining." Poseidon whispered to Hades.

"Indeed." The underworld ruler agreed with a smirk plastered on his face.

 ** _Where...Where am I?_** **Eyes as blue as the sky slowly opened to find a dark net and a good dozen feet or so between the owner of the eyes and the ground. Next to him were two draconian legs that made the ground shake with each step.**

"Well, this is new," Percy said with a blink.

"We haven't read one with the Giants in it yet." Reyna added, much more interested than before.

 **A groan left his lips at the sudden swing the net that held him made.**

 **A deep laugh made the eyes look up. A cruel grin spread across his captor's face. The serpent-like smile that formed within the gnarly green beard reached up to evil marble white eyes.**

"Broccoli Head." Percy narrowed his eyes. "I hope we never meet again."

Poseidon wanted to look serious as well, but was fighting back some laughter at his son's title for his giant. Ah, he loved his boy's wit.

 **"Awake are we?" The deep voice of the giant asked. The net was lifted up to make him level with the giant. A set of nasty teeth exposed themselves to the captive. "Never thought I'd find a spy in my home. Won't Porphyrion be interested in knowing the Upper Air is intruding on an Olympian matter?"**

"Air Jordan?" Percy asked with a confused frown.

"I'm with Wethead on this one," Thalia frowned.

Annabeth groaned at their ignorance. "I'm sure it'll be explained as we go on."

 **The captive's teeth clenched tightly and an insult was swallowed, lest he make his captor angry. Giants were not to be trifled with, and Gigantes even more so. For now, the captive went quiet, glaring defiantly at the Bane of Poseidon.**

 **Polybotes ignored the captive and lowered him back to his side as they entered a massive, and ugly, temple of rock and stone. He stalked forward, pushed his way past the shorter giants and shoved the lesser Gigantes away from his path.**

 **"** ** _Poseidon is a brute, my son,_**

"Wisdom of the ages." Athena agreed with a sly smile.

Poseidon gnashed his teeth. Oh, he had very colorful words for whoever was saying this.

 ** _but he is cunning and crafty like his brothers._**

 _Well, just a few words,_ Poseidon rectified in his mind.

 ** _Be cautious, for Polybotes is not easily fooled like the giants you've previously faced. He is the Bane of Poseidon with good reason. A simple sneak attack will not catch him off guard._** **" The words of his father echoed in the captive's head. The youth sighed and ran his hand through his golden hair. He really should've headed those words.**

"Blue eyes, blond hair. Yep! That's our boy." Leo nodded.

"No duh, Leroy." Dionysus scoffed.

 **"Porphyrion!" Polybotes' cry broke through the mutters and rowdy conversations between the giants and Gigantes. He lifted the captive in his net and grinned at the leader of the Gigantes. "Behold what I bring to you, evidence of treachery!"**

"He is ...the _blond_!" Frank cried out in horror.

"Hey." Jason and Annabeth frowned. Apollo and Hermes not looking too keen over that line either.

"What? Have you seen the giants? They fear the blond hair."

Apollo nodded sagely. "Very true."

"Nice save." Hermes whispered with a wink towards Frank.

 **The massive form of Porphyrion turned in his throne from his conversation with a hideous female Gigas to look at Polybotes.**

"Burn the troll doll!" Aphrodite hissed like a cat with a clawing motion included.

"Mom, calm down." Piper rolled her eyes.

"But she's so...so… _hideous_!"

 **The King of Gigantes was massive with draconian legs the same pea green shade as his hair, which was groomed and laced with the weapons of fallen heroes. His eyes the same white as Polybotes', but his face, unlike his brother, was clean and freshly shaved.**

 **"A mortal?" Porphyrion asked with distain. The captive rolled his eyes. Wow, what a reaction.**

 **"Not just any mortal, brother." Polybotes smirked. "I give to you the turn in our war. A chip to use against the Upper Air, to make them bend to our whims."**

 **"The Upper Air?" Porphyrion sat forward and cupped his chin as he examined the youth. His eyes widened and he looked at Polybotes. "A halfling from Aether?!"**

"The primordial." Annabeth added.

"Wait, a primordial can have demigods?" Frank asked with confusion.

"They are gods just as we, Frank Zhang." Athena explained. "Of course they can, though most are resting during this day and age."

"Not Nyx." Annabeth frowned.

"Or, you know, Gaea. But we totally torched her butt." Leo snickered.

 **"The very same," Polybotes said with a grin. He lifted the net and his eyes gleamed at the captive within. "It seems that a woman gained the attention of the Upper Air."**

 **"Quite." Porphyrion rubbed his jaw in thought. He rose from his throne and snatched the net from his brother. The net was raised until the captive was eye level with Porphyrion's stony gaze. "What is your name, halfling?"**

 **"My name translates loosely to Maelstrom in your tongue,**

"And confirmation." Apollo nodded, but knitted his brow and he slumped into his seat. "But since he's a kid of Aether, I doubt he and Hera had a fling. So, no cheating Hera? Bored now."

Aphrodite nodded. "I agree. It would have been a good gossip."

"Please do not talk as if I am not here." Hera frowned at them, though she was inwardly happy some other version of herself hadn't become a cheating strumpet.

Zeus looked relieved by this realization as well.

 **Gigas scum." Maelstrom sneered at the giant, unable to hide his dislike of the Bane of Zeus. Porphyrion's mouth curled up into a cruel smile.**

 **"Lively aren't you?" He asked. Maelstrom did not respond, and just glared at the king. Porphyrion let out a booming laugh and offered the net to the Gigas he was speaking with before. "Periboia, take this boy to our prison and set him beside my beloved."**

"…This isn't our time, is it?" Annabeth looked awed since the Gigantes king only had one 'beloved'.

Hera looked irritated. "It seems that this takes place in the first war with those beasts."

 **"Yes, Father." The Gigas female said. Maelstrom tried to take his eyes off of her, but like most monstrosities, he couldn't help his stare. Her russet hair matted and grime coated skin did nothing for her already hideous looks, her bronze armor made her seem more masculine in appearance, and the brown draconic legs were almost chicken like.**

 **Overall, Maelstrom determined that this would be one female he would** ** _gladly_** **ignore...if he could.**

"That poor boy." Aphrodite sniffled into a hankie she pulled from the air.

 **Periboia carried Maelstrom from the throne room through a hallway into a tower of stone. With little care for his sake or body, the Gigas tossed Maelstrom from the net into a room and quickly closed the door. Maelstrom hit the ground chin first, which was very painful.**

 **"Insufferable sow..." Maelstrom mumbled as he rolled onto his back and rubbed his jaw. Thank the heavens he padded himself for that. If not, his jaw could've been shattered.**

 **"She is irritating, isn't she?"**

"Hey roomie!" Hermes said with a dead-on Hera impression. The act earned him a heated look from the King and Queen, but the laughs from the others made it all worthwhile.

 **Maelstrom turned to look behind him and gaped at the otherworldly beauty his eyes were graced with. Long black hair trailed down like fine silk from her head, and a face he was most unworthy to look at stared back at him. It was her eyes, however, the warm beautiful brown eyes that looked at him with intrigue that made his cheeks turn red.**

A growl worked its way from Zeus' throat while Hera chuckled lightly.

"Zeus, it's merely a first glance admiration."

"Still!" The sky lord frowned deeply and his curly beard crackled with electricity.

"Well, you know what they say about prison buddies." Ares chuckled as he tossed some popcorn into his mouth.

Hera frowned at his words and Apollo snorted.

"Speaking from experience?"

Ares gave the sun god a seething snarl that made his glowing brother chuckle.

 **The woman was dressed in a white gown with rich golden accents that identified her as a goddess.**

 **Well, to be accurate she was** ** _the_** **goddess. The Queen of Olympus.**

 **"Hera..." Maelstrom's eyes were wide. He quickly averted his gaze and ducked his head. "Forgive me, Lady Hera. I did not mean to-!"**

 **"What, boy? Be thrown in here like trash? Be captured?" Hera tisked. "I doubt you had. Rise and introduce yourself to me, Mortal."**

 **"I will stay kneeled before my Queen, if she so allows." Maelstrom returned, his head lifted only slightly. He focused his attention on the tip of her nose, lest he become dumbstruck in awe of her beauty once more. "I am known as Maelstrom in your language, Lady Hera."**

 **Hera's brow quirked upward. "My language? You are not Greek?"**

 **Maelstrom looked away in slight shame. "My mother resided in the Forbidden East, Lady Hera. I do not know her, but my father raised me as a Greek, even if I am not named as one."**

"Well, it seems you aren't the only one in favor of the East." Artemis commented to her brother.

"Duh." Apollo smirked. "East is just a long trip West."

 **"Tell me your name, Mortal. Your true name, not it's meaning." Hera ordered sternly.**

 **The youth looked up at her with a slight hesitation before he spoke. "Naruto is my name."**

 **Hera hummed and paced the jail tower. "** ** _Nah-rue-toh_** **...An interesting name."**

"Sounds like a fungal infection." Nico smirked.

A snickering Leo gave the King of Ghosts a high-five for the good burn.

 **Naruto's cheeks burned. "A thousand thanks for your praise, Lady Hera, but I cannot claim them. My mother named me on her deathbed, and my Father saved me from servitude in the Forbidden East."**

 **"Your father? He is the reason you are trapped here, I presume?" Hera asked. Her eyes were on him like a hawk's a field mouse. Naruto nodded slowly.**

 **"Yes, Lady Hera," he said. He rose his head in pride. "I am son of the Upper Air, the son of Aether."**

 **If Hera was taken aback by this information, she did not let it show. Instead, she merely watched him. "Are you? Aether has not descended from his golden kingdom above Olympus since the Titanomachy. I had not thought he would betray Hemera."**

"He'd better be careful of that landmine." Thalia warned while Hera frowned.

"I wouldn't just smite him, Thalia Grace. He'd be the only person I could have a civilized conversation with." She glared at her husband. "Which wouldn't have been the case if _someone_ had gotten off their lazy ass and saved me!"

"I was strategizing!" Zeus claimed, looking to Athena for assistance.

Athena, the loyal daughter she was, nodded in agreement.

Hera was still not placated and huffed while she crossed her arms.

 **"...Hemera is a benevolent goddess," Naruto began slowly. Carefully. "Just and happy. She sees an expanded family where another would see a bastard. I** ** _am_** **a bastard, but I have family that supports me. I am her son not by blood, but by name."**

 **Hera said nothing to this and went quiet. She then pointed to a small corner. "You will stay there, Naruto son of Aether. If you come within ten paces of me, I will destroy you on the spot. No man, giant or god may have me save my husband."**

"Bad mortal! Go sit in the corner!" Ares mocked with a chuckle.

"I bet they tell him that all the time." Percy leaned over and whispered to his girlfriend. Annabeth stifled a snorted laugh and gave him a light shove.

 **Naruto ducked his head in understanding and quickly made his way to the corner Hera had pointed out.**

 **He stayed there for five days and nights, quiet as he could be. He didn't dare to move an inch, not even to get food deposited to him while Hera was awake. He would rather starve than deal with a goddess' wrath. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but the way she murmured to herself about lazy no-good husbands was amusing.**

 **As Naruto huddled in his corner, he listened as the Gigantes would argue outside the cell and in the throne room. Many times Porphyrion would approach the cell and seek out Hera's company.**

Zeus knuckles turned white in rage as he recalled his bane's attempt to coerce his wife.

 **Each time, the goddess proved her loyalty to Zeus with a cold dismissal or a violent threat. Porphyrion would entice and smugly claim that she would be his soon enough.**

"Glad I blew you up, you smug son of a…" the King of Olympus' grumbles lowered to hushed Ancient Greek that made Poseidon laugh and Hades smirk widely.

 **Despite what mortals would think, even Gods slept. It was not the same as a human's rest, where most senses were shut off to the bare minimum, but it was a form of sleep all the same. Hera slept for no more than an hour and no less than thirty minutes.**

 **On the fifth day, when the moon was at its peak, Naruto could bear no more. He needed to eat, but knew that Hera would awake if he moved. So, he went back to an old trick his father taught him as a boy. Naruto held his hand out towards the fruit placed on a plate. He felt the life within the apple, the energy that was hidden within.**

 **There was a small pressure in the center of his forehead as Naruto focused on the apple. A second later and the apple flew from the cracked and warped bronze platter to his hand.**

"…D-did he just use the Force?" Leo asked in awe.

"It's called telekinesis." Annabeth surmised critically.

"I'm with Leo. That _had_ to be the force." Percy grinned.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure it was."

"Silence, non-believer! Frown upon your blasphemy, Yoda would!" Leo proclaimed heatedly.

 **Naruto took a soft bite of the apple and savored the taste. It wasn't much, but it was enough.**

 **"Do that again."**

 **Naruto nearly choked on his next bite and tossed his apple into the air. He swallowed the bite and caught his apple after it had bounced off his head before his eyes went to the now awake Hera. Her gaze was intimidating and intense.**

"That's her rape face."

"Aphrodite!" Hera snarled at the giggling goddess.

"What? If I was stuck in a room with a handsome mortal, I would do it." Aphrodite admitted shamelessly. "And in every dimension I've not seen reason to do so."

"Mom, he's my brother in one," Piper said dryly.

Aphrodite arched a brow. "And your point is...what?"

Piper gagged and turned green at the thought.

 **"W-what?"**

 **"Do not play games with me, son of Aether." Hera huffed. She pointed at the bronze. "Pull it towards you, but do not move."**

 **Naruto blinked and looked at the tray of bronze. He held his hand out to it and focused his gaze on the bronze. Unlike the apple, the bronze did not have life. It was not grown from the trees, so there wasn't a source of energy for him to pinpoint. Minutes passed and sweat formed on his brow, but he could not bring the bronze to his hand.**

 **"I cannot." Naruto muttered finally, in defeat.**

 **Hera narrowed her gaze at him. "Pull the bronze towards you, mortal."**

 **"It is impossible! A feat only a god can do, will metal to a hand!" Naruto returned hotly.**

Hazel raised her hand. "I can do it."

"Because you have that power, Hazel." Hades told his Roman daughter. "Metals and gems of rich value are under my domain and was your...blessing upon birth. This boy is the son of Aether, a god of the Upper Air."

"I thought he was a primordial?" Frank asked.

"The words have similar meanings," Athena said. "Primordials are, how should I put this?"

"Gods of Hax?" Apollo suggested.

"The First?" Hermes offered.

"Elder Gods," Zeus said firmly. He looked uncomfortable with this conversation. "Primordials embody an element to a degree that they are unable to control any other. Whereas we Olympians may have multiple domains, a Primordial often emulates one."

"Well put, Zeus," Athena said with a nod while Frank mulled this around in his head.

 **"Pull the bronze!" Hera demanded.**

 **Naruto tossed his apple aside and rose to his feet as best he could. "I told you, I cannot!"**

"Well, that's a one way ticket to get smote." Jason murmured worriedly for his fellow blond protagonist.

 **"If you truly believe that, then you are of no use to anyone." Hera's voice was cold and her gaze narrowed. The warm brown pools that were her eyes turned violent and angry. Naruto trembled under the pressure she expelled from her form. The power that wished to be released.**

 ** _I...I don't want to die._** **The realization was fast, as it was for most men. Naruto felt more pressure on his forehead, but it wasn't painful. It was sudden, but his hand pointed at the bronze plate. The metal shuffled for a moment before it flew to his hand.**

 **"There!" Naruto held the plate out defiantly to the goddess. "I pulled it to me! I..."**

 **Hera smirked as the words clicked in Naruto's head. The pressure she expelled dwindled away to nothing and she approached the halfling. The bronze plate flew from his hand to hers.**

 **"You, Naruto son of Aether, have a great gift. Not many can manipulate the energy of matter outside of immortals."**

"So, The Force?" Leo asked.

Hermes nodded with a grin. "Something like that, yeah."

"Called it!" Percy grinned while Annabeth blinked owlishly.

"Since when was the Force a real thing?" Annabeth asked with a frown.

"Since forever. Isaac _discovered_ it, not created it," Hermes said with a grin.

 **Hera stood directly in front of the awestruck blond. She set the plate down and placed her hand on the youth's head. "Now, we can begin."**

 **"Begin what?" Naruto asked.**

 **"To plan our escape."**

"We're going to need a cake, some wire, a rubber spoon, some flowers, and a Hersey bar." Apollo said while rubbing his chin.

"That's just stupid!" Hermes snorted. "You need a Kit Kat bar."

Apollo palmed his face. "Of _course_!"

Athena looked at Artemis. "It gets more painful by the second, doesn't it?"

The huntress just hung her head and nodded weakly.

 **Hera had formulated a plan for escape as soon as Naruto revealed his heritage, and disclosed this information to Naruto the night after his breakthrough. As a goddess, she is power infinite, unable to be defeated, but while Giants could be felled easily** ** _Gigantes_** **needed to be defeated by something more than a god. She felt that Naruto would be able to assist, if not in the death of a Gigas, then with the escape from this temple.**

 **Days turned to weeks for the captured goddess and halfling. Naruto nurtured his abilities under Hera's watch. They practiced at night, when the Gigantes and Giants slept, a form of catch. Hera was fair and stern in her lessons, able to see when he needed to rest. Naruto took to her lessons like a fish to water. He was soon able to 'throw' or 'push' the energy in the air hard enough to make Hera stumble. (The first time he had been told of the exercise, Naruto had thought the goddess of heaven was kidding.)**

"Well, it seems the young Padawan has mastered the Force Push," Leo said while he stroked his invisible beard of awesome.

"Skilled, he most is." Frank agreed.

"Eh, my impression is better." Leo waved off the boy.

Hazel frowned. "What are you guys talking about?"

Leo looked at Frank, and Frank shrugged. "We haven't gotten to it yet."

"For shame...Skip the first one though. She does _not_ need to learn about the _thing_ with a long tongue." Leo firmly instructed.

Apollo frowned. "I liked Jar Jar."

"Yeah, you and one other person." Hermes snorted.

 **It was in the second week of his imprisonment that Periboia came for him. He left without much struggle. That was his first mistake. He was taken to a chamber where Polybotes took deep pleasure in carving portions of his face off with his bastard trident.**

 **Let it be known that tridents were not made to be precision weapons.**

 **Naruto only survived his torture sessions thanks to Hera, who healed him in the night before they practiced. After two weeks, Naruto had gained his first permanent scars at the age of fourteen. Three jagged lines now graced either cheek and marked him like an animal, a pet of the Gigantes.**

"Wow, that's really degrading." Percy frowned. Broccoli Head wanted the son of Poseidon to be his pet too? Talk about messed up.

"A horrible way to earn the whiskers he usually has," Demeter said with a frown.

"Better than being born as a WMD. Right, Apollo?"

"Screw you, Ares."

 **It fueled his desire to escape, and in a few days' time, he would be given the chance to.**

 ** _A month I have been captured by the Gigantes and trained by Hera. I wonder why Zeus or father yet to act..._** **Naruto thought to himself as he laid in his corner while Hera slept.**

"It raises many questions, doesn't it?" Hera nodded mockingly and Zeus let a small grimace form on his face.

 **He was still a mortal man and Hera was still Hera, so the placement was understandable. He sat up slightly as the door to their jail tower opened.**

 **A giant, no larger than twenty feet, snuck in and shut the door behind him. He was an ugly beast, man-like in appearance and scarred heavily. His dark eyes gleamed with lust and desire and were glued to the goddess' form. The giant ambled towards Hera and fumbled with his tunic.**

"Zeus, calm yourself." Hestia urged as arcs of lightning began to dance around the King. "We have children here."

"And, more importantly, us!" Hermes added from his place behind his throne.

Hestia nodded. "Yes. And us."

"But this _thing_ is-!" The sky lord snarled.

"I'm sure Naruto will do something. If not, Hera will just destroy him."

Hera nodded to her eldest sister's words. It's what she had done when the giant king had tried it in their timeline.

Zeus complied, but he remained ready to explode.

 **"Finally, alone...With Porphyrion away at the battlefield..." The giant rumbled to himself. Naruto realized the beast's intent as its hand reached for the Queen of Heaven's body.**

 **Knowing that it could be his last act, Naruto pulled the bronze plate towards him and whistled sharply. The giant whipped around, wide eyed and at full attention. Naruto glared at the nude beast and tightened his grip on the bronze plate.**

 **"Back away from her."**

 **The giant sneered at him. "Do you know who I am,** ** _boy_** **? I am Eurymedon! King of the Giants! You dare interfere where you are not welcomed?!"**

"Oh yeah. How dare that lowly mortal prisoner be locked up where he's been for the past month?" Piper nodded mockingly. "Man these giants are dumb as rocks."

 ** _Not like I had the choice._** **Naruto mused darkly. He tightened his grip on the bronze plate and narrowed his gaze on the giant. "Porphyrion is king of the Giants."**

 **Eurymedon laughed. "King of Gigantes, that one. I am King of the Giants! His forces are my own and I was promised a night with Hera, her body to use for my assistance."**

"I think he's gonna blow his beard off." Poseidon told Hades.

"To the bunkers?" Hades inquired.

"We made them for this very reason." The sea god nodded sternly.

 **"I will not allow it." Naruto scowled.**

 **"You? And who are you to stop me,** ** _boy_** **?" Eurymedon asked with a sneer. He dodged the bronze plate thrown at his head easily, but failed to dodge it on its return. The metal cut through his skin and made him bellow in pain.**

 **"I'm the son of Aether." Naruto answered. He pulled more metal plates to him and had them float over his hands. His eyes narrowed and a bead of sweat went down the side of his head as the plates began to spin over his palms. Before the Giant could react, the two plates were thrown and sliced through the giant's shoulders.**

"He'd be killer in Extreme Frisbee," Leo said thoughtfully.

"You aren't allowed to play that anymore." Piper told him.

"Oh, come on! I set it on fire one times!"

"And nearly set everyone playing on fire!"

"Guys, stop fighting." Jason grunted. He rubbed his ear. "I'm pretty sure I'll go deaf if you keep yelling like that."

"Sorry." The two apologized.

 **One of the arms that were the size of grown trees fell to the ground and Eurymedon roared in agony. The Giant retreated, humiliated and defeated, but not before a final plate imbedded itself in his back.**

 **Naruto slumped to his knees in exhaustion, his hair matted from sweat and his breath hard to retain.**

 **"Well done." Hera's voice made the demigod look to her. The sleeping Hera that rested on her bed vanished and the real Hera stepped from the side with a look of gratitude on her face.**

"A Mist clone. Very rare to see that used, even then. Well done, Hera." Artemis praised the Queen.

"Thank you." Hera smiled. There was a reason she liked her hunting niece.

 **"Eurymedon has made his desire known from time to time while you rested. I did not think he would be brash enough to act when Porphyrion was gone."**

 **"This...was another test?" Naruto asked, incredulous at the thought.**

 **Hera nodded. "One you passed magnificently. We will act tomorrow, Naruto son of Aether. Rest and prepare yourself."**

 **Naruto nodded blearily before he slid down against the wall and let his eyes drift shut.**

Hermes threw his finger into the air. "Now, it's time for the great escape!"

"Hey, I love that song." Leo grinned, bobbing his head to the beat in his head.

 **"The escape was flawless." Hera smiled slightly at the praise from her fleet-footed nephew.**

"And I just don't say that to everyone." Hermes nodded.

 **"...If one does not count the gaping hole that now resides in the side of a mountain."**

"Well, collateral." Hermes shrugged. "Guess he's not a natural."

 **Hera had been in contact with one god during her imprisonment, and that was Hermes. The swift messenger had awaited outside of the jail tower with Hera's chariot. The Queen of Olympus and Naruto utilized all of Naruto's energy with the 'Push' on their jail's exterior wall.**

"He can blow up mountains with his mind…yeah, I'm glad he's in the past." Frank shivered. He'd rather not have to deal with someone that can do that much damage.

"It's a magnificent feat." Reyna noted interestedly. "One must wonder why the Upper Air does not have more children."

"Zeus would throw a fit." Poseidon told the Roman girl.

The god king did not disagree. He was far too happy that his wife was away from the Giants' grasps.

 **Hermes caught Naruto as he fell and Hera stepped nonchalantly onto her chariot. The two retreated to Mt. Olympus posthaste and reported to the King, who was glad to see his wife, but curious about the tagalong.**

 **"He is impressively strong," Hermes continued as he looked down at the unconscious youth. His gaze went to the Queen of Olympus. "But he is not one of ours."**

 **"No, Hermes, he is not." The Olympians' gazes turned to the bright star that appeared in the center of the council room. It hovered over the boy, bright enough that it hid him from view. The bright light died down to reveal a being, godly in build, of pure light.**

 **"Aether..." Zeus rumbled lowly. The gaze of the king narrowed in distain, an action not missed by Hera.**

 **The ruler of the Upper Air looked back at the King with similar emotions in his golden eyes. Aether looked down at his son and then brought his gaze up to meet Hera's. He inclined his head slightly, and she returned the gesture.**

 **"While I am grateful that you watched over my son, Hera, he was not to be brought into Olympian matters." Aether frowned heavily and said the word 'Olympian' as if it were a curse.**

"I am of a higher order, I don't want to stick my dick into your affairs, yadda, yadda, yadda." Ares grunted. "Lame. Really lame!"

"Uber lame?" Apollo suggested.

"Yes. That!"

 **Zeus snorted. "Of course not, that was why he was with the Giants."**

 **"Zeus..." Hera's sharp gaze pinned him to his throne. She was mad at him for leaving her** ** _a month_** **trapped by the Giants. Her eyes went back to the embodiment of light and energy. "Aether, your son has done me a great justice. Surely you can let me repay the favor."**

 **Aether scoffed. "The prizes of Olympus come with great cost. You wish to reward my son for surviving? No, Hera, there is more to your 'reward'."**

"Got her on that one." Thalia murmured with hardly concealed spite.

"Artemis, I would hope you learn to muzzle your pets. I think this one is getting to noisy." Hera glared at the hunter, who turned sharply to glare right back.

Artemis sighed heavily through her nose and rubbed her head. "Let us not fight here, please?"

Both stepmother and stepdaughter huffed at that notion before they turned back to the storyteller, which made Jason shift in his seat uncomfortably.

 **Hera frowned. Aether was not like Apollo, who was foolhardy and acted young. Aether had been around for just as long – if not longer – than her accursed father. He was keen on the ways of Olympus, even if he did not operate with them. He was not under their rule, nor did he rise above it. Aether was truly his own immortal and that meant he was not easily manipulated.**

 **"Yes." Hera admitted. The embodiment of Light and Energy remained quiet as she continued. "I desire your son to help us in the war."**

 **"You dare ask me for help in your matters?" Aether fumed. The Olympians tensed as the primordial glared at their Queen, Zeus's hand tight on his Master Bolt. For a moment, the air was still, before Aether relaxed and the tension retreated to the background. "What do I gain from this?"**

 **"What do you gain-?!" Zeus rumbled.**

 **"Father Zeus, now is not the time." Athena's voice quelled the fury that grew in the god's body. Her gaze went to Hera, calculative and concerned.**

"I can always manage calm him with logic," Athena said with an amused smile.

"I do not need to be calmed…all the time." Zeus added the last bit softly.

 **Hera did not doubt that the daughter of Metis knew where she was going with this and the gamble that was being made.**

 **"Our gratitude and our assistance," Hera said. "A favor for a favor."**

 **Aether pursed his lips and hummed. His gaze went to the lord of the oceans. "I need smiths. A weapon must be made in my kingdom for my son."**

 **"Briares and his ilk have been getting bored," Poseidon said lowly. He looked uncomfortable while he bartered the Hundred Handed Ones.**

 **Aether nodded. "Yes, they are fine craftsmen...**

"Tyson says so at least." Percy agreed at his excitable cyclops brother.

Poseidon looked as uncomfortable with his other self. "To barter Briares in such a way, it would have had to be done, I suppose.

 **but I will also need a temple. A way to ensure my memory."**

 **"We will assign a scribe to you," Hestia said kindly. "And the hearth will pass stories of you and your family."**

Hermes held a pad and a pen. "Would you like a foot massage with that order?"

"I'll take one!" Aphrodite smiled widely.

 **Aether looked at her for a moment before he looked back at Hera. He pointed at her. "I want your word...If my son is harmed in** ** _any_** **way during this war..."**

 **The threat was left to hang, and it was strong. Aether need not do more than pull his Upper Air from Olympus to get even Zeus on his knees.**

Zeus rumbled at this very notion and looked irked as all Hell.

"So…a Force Choke?"

"Percy, please stop." Poseidon asked with a cough to cover his light chuckle.

Percy shrugged. "No promises."

 **Hera quickly nodded. "I swear on the Styx that no harm shall befall your son, Aether."**

 **The sky boomed and Aether nodded.**

 **The deal was done and history changed.**

 **"This is the third demigod the Olympians brought to fight with us?" The tall brown haired behemoth that was Heracles smirked down at Naruto.**

"Wow, it's The Jerk before he became the Brooding Jerk." Percy awed. "I wonder how he'll do against the Giants."

"He'll have a harder time then us." Jason grinned at his friend.

 **His eyes were a similar blue as Naruto's, and the cocky smirk that was plastered on his face was aggravating. Naruto just knew he'd want to punch the son of Zeus' face in by the time this was all said and done. Granted that would be impossible, considering the man's strength, but it would be welcomed all the same. "A bastard barbarian from the East?"**

 **"The same could be said of you, only you're from the West." A joyful Dionysus pointed out with a smirk.**

"Oh, how embarrassing." Dionysus grimaced as he looked at his demigod form.

"So, a demigod, huh?"

"Silence Peter," Mr. D said with a drawl. But his eyes looked dangerous.

Percy zipped his lip, but the smile remained.

 **He was a slightly hefty man with a thick purplish beard on his face that was as untamed as his father's. Rested at his side was his trusty thyrsus, the pinecone tipped weapon gleamed under the sunlight. In his hand was a fresh bottle of wine.**

 ** _That one,_** **Naruto thought as Heracles scowled at his half-brother.** ** _Is far more powerful than he lets on._**

"Smart lad." Dionysus commented and then belched.

 **"So, who is your father? Oh, wait, let me guess!" Dionysus' smirk widened. "Zeus? No, wait, Apollo."**

 **"Neither." Naruto muttered. He crossed his arms and sat against the large stone they were told to gather at. "I am the son of-"**

 **"His parentage is not important." The baritone voice of the King boomed after a bolt of lightning came down across from the three. Zeus ignored Naruto as he greeted his sons with a small favorable smile. His smile vanished as he continued. "Ares is still missing and Artemis has yet to return from her latest hunt. Dionysus, you are to find and rescue Ares."**

"Like a damsel."

"Say that again to my face!" Ares snarled at his drunk of a brother.

Dionysus grinned cruelly at him. "Like. A. Damsel."

"Enough!" Zeus boomed at them. "I will have no fighting here!"

The two gods backed off, but Ares still sent dirty looks to the wine god, who smirked as he sipped from his diet cola.

 **Dionysus groaned. "Must I?"**

 **"Yes." Zeus frowned at the demigod. His gaze went to Heracles. "Heracles, my son, you and I take the fight to Porphyrion! We will end his reign today!"**

 **Heracles grinned. "You have my strength and bow, Father."**

 **Naruto and Dionysus rolled their eyes.**

 **Zeus' gaze then landed on Naruto and his eyes hardened. "...Champion of Hera, you are to assist the other Olympians in holding off Porphyrion's forces as we do battle."**

"Okay, time out!" Leo held up his hands and looked at Hera. "What's with you and blonds with blue eyes? Seriously!"

Hera frowned and decided that she'd rather not answer the boy.

Leo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Your silence says everything, Grandma."

Hephaestus chuckled lowly at the irate look on his mother's face. He didn't know, nor did he care, if it was about the subject or the title Leo had given her. He loved his son's humor.

 **"...On second thought, I'm more than happy to go rescue Ares," Dionysus said with a smirk as he looked at the newcomer. "Have fun, my young friend."**

 **"Thanks." Naruto drawled.** ** _Are all of Zeus' kids jackasses or are just these sons?_**

"I'm cool, so is Hermes. The rest? Nah." Apollo shook his head as he spoke the honest truth. "Hephaestus could be, but he's kind of a loner and sucks at picking up chicks so we never take him out with us to party."

"Says the nerd of everything relating to the entertainment industry."

"Enthusiast!" Apollo retorted quickly. "I'm an entertainment enthusiast!"

 **Naruto pushed another wave of Earthborn giants away from him, his brow dripping with sweat as he did. To his left, Athena did battle with her bane and beyond her, Poseidon and Polybotes grappled around in the ocean. On his right, Hephaestus fought off his bane while Hermes brought his sword against regular giants, a grin on his face as he did.**

Ares grinned. "You were such a little psycho back in the day, I miss those moments."

Hermes sniffed. "I grew up."

"To deliver mail, we know." Ares sighed. "So lame."

 **What Naruto wouldn't give for the endurance of a god right now.**

 **He was tired and caked in sweat, his armor no more than shreds of metal. Thankfully, there was some sort of protection granted to him by Hera, or his body would be littered with cuts and bruises from the Earthborn's weapons and thrown rocks. Another Earthborn charged from the right and Naruto thrust his hand right in its face.**

 **"Die!" He yelled as the head was forcibly removed from the body.** ** _This would be so much easier if I had a weapon of some kind!_**

"Like a lightsaber." Percy nodded.

"Percy, he's not a Jedi." Annabeth sternly told her boyfriend.

Leo snorted. "Says you."

"Yes, says me!" Annabeth frowned at the pyrokinetic. "Jedi are just made up."

"...Says you. They're from a Galaxy Far, Far Away. Could be real there."

Annabeth rubbed her face while Leo grinned victoriously.

 **"** ** _MORTAL!_** **"**

 **Naruto looked for the origin of the cry and groaned as he caught sight of a familiar King. Eurymedon looked bloodthirsty, and frankly, Naruto could understand why. Hera was not in any shape or form ugly, but she was claimed and did not reciprocate the desire. To force oneself on a woman was not the way his father brought him up.**

 ** _I don't have the energy for this._** **Naruto groaned as he backed away from the approaching giant. Naruto ducked under a sword swing and sent a hard push at the King of Giant's stomach.**

 **Eurymedon stumbled back and glared at him for the strike. He lifted his massive onyx sword and pointed the tip at the blond. "Today, you die, mortal."**

 ** _Probably_** **. Naruto silently agreed. He hardened his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. "Not from you, bastard."**

 **Eurymedon yelled as he swung his weapon down on him. Naruto brought his arms over his face and focused on the sword. He pushed against Eurymedon's strength, the blade visibly strained in midair. Naruto fell to a knee, his teeth tightly grit together as he tried to keep himself from being bisected.**

"You shall fall," Apollo said in the Darth Vader voice. The labored breath earned a thumbs up from all boys present, even Jason.

 **"Hey Eurydice!" The giant turned and barely dodged a shot from Apollo's bow. The sun god gave a smug grin to him and returned his attention to the army of endless Earthborn.**

The sun god gave a thumbs up. "Nice one, other me!"

"He missed." Artemis smirked.

Apollo rolled his eyes. "I was just lightening the kid's load! It's his kill Arte, honestly."

 **Eurymedon snarled at the god's chariot and made note to join whoever Porphyrion sent after the twins. He turned back to his current quarry only to get a massive push from the boy that sent him back a good few meters or so.**

 ** _Uh-oh...that's not good..._** **Naruto thought as he fell to his face and gasped down gulps of air.** ** _Really...a sword too much to ask for?_**

 **"Hekatonkheires!" A giant yelled as three massive beings fell from the sky. The Earthborn and a few giants were crushed beneath their feet. Naruto stared up in awe at the massive beings. Their fifty heads all seemed to be looking around for something.**

 **"There!" One said with fifty voices. He turned towards him and a hand reached out to him, clenched in a fist. "You are Aether's son...This is for you."**

"Thank you, Deus Ex Machina!" Leo cheered with his arms in the air.

"Literally," Apollo said with a chuckle.

"It's going to be a lightsaber." Percy grinned while he made his girlfriend glower.

"Percy, seriously, I doubt they'd even know what a lightsaber is!"

"Well, what do you think the one cool aspect of _Phantom Menace_ was based off of?" Hermes asked as he pointed at the contained form of the Master Bolt.

Zeus arched a brow and looked at Apollo.

Apollo drummed his fingers. "What? He ain't lying...for once."

"Just taking page from you, Apollo."

"Several millennia too late."

"Shut up."

 **The fist opened and Naruto looked at the sword handle that lacked a guard and, more importantly, a blade. Naruto looked at the Hundred Handed One with surprise before he returned his attention to the handle. Hesitantly and tiredly, Naruto grabbed hold of the sword handle that was easily as long as his forearm.**

 **The moment he did, energy filled him. Naruto shook as his stamina refilled eight times over. He looked down at the silver handle, graced with gold of immortals, and gripped it in both hands. There was a brimming energy within the sword, demanding to be used.**

Percy's smile was positively face splitting and Annabeth's jaw slowly dropped.

"No." The blonde gaped.

"Yes." Leo grinned.

"No way."

"Yes way!"

 **Naruto focused on the energy and pulled it out. A blade of pure blue light emerged from the handle. Naruto looked from the blade to the Hekatonkheires that gave it to him. The faces grinned.**

 **"You are welcome, son of Aether." He said. He turned to the battle and charged against the Earthborn that tried to near their master and Athena.**

 **Naruto blinked and looked back at his new sword.**

"So..." the son of Poseidon began with a sly grin.

"Shut. Up." The blonde daughter of Athena mustered out as she gaped at the visual of the scene.

 **"...Who am I to complain? Thank you, Father." Naruto nodded to the sky and turned back to Eurymedon. The giant king had regained his courage now that the Hundred Handed Ones had turned their attention elsewhere.**

 **Naruto charged at the giant with a war cry and used his innate gifts to fling himself across the distance that was between them in a mighty leap.**

"Force Leap, check." Hermes checked off the list he was keeping.

Ares grinned. "I love Jedi fights. Takes me back to the Dark Ages, but more...sciency."

"That...That's not..." Athena dropped her head in her hand and groaned. "Ares stop talking."

 **Naruto brought his new sword of light down on Eurymedon's onyx blade and the metal was cut with ease. Eurymedon stared in shock at the remains of his sword while Naruto continued his assault. A slash and Eurymedon had lost his remaining arm. A swipe and both legs were gone.**

 **The giant's eyes bored into Naruto's as the golden haired halfling stabbed his sword through the center of the King Giant's broad chest.**

 **Naruto watched the body fall and collapse into the earth. He turned his attention to Poseidon and Polybotes, the nearest of the battles, and ran towards it. As he did, he missed the chariot of Ares fly overhead towards the battle of Hephaestus and his bane, Mimas.**

"Obviously, because you needed my help." Ares mocked his crippled brother.

The smith god snorted. "Or you just needed to sooth your bruised ego at being captured."

"Not true!"

"Actually, it is." Apollo cut in. Athena chuckled and Ares seethed at the nonchalant interjection.

"Damn sunspot..." he grumbled. Both Apollo and Helios were his _least_ favorite gods. Always tattling on him!

 **"To Olympus!" Heracles' cheer made the other warriors gathered cheer. The celebration at the base of Mt. Olympus was well underway. The gods were victorious and the Gigantes' war had ended after several years of battle. Once Porphyrion had been felled, the other Gigantes retreated and separated, as they realized their weakness against both a god and a demigod.**

All of the demigods grinned at this and bumped fists, shared hugs or gave high-fives of cheer with each other.

 **Naruto, now a young adult around the age of seventeen, raised his cup in victory with a smile on his face. He had been officially claimed as Hera's champion the year before and his legend was just beginning to spread. Others had joined the three demigods, to an annoyed Dionysus' dismay for some reason (possibly due to Heracles' oafishness).**

Dionysus rubbed his temples. "He's so loud at parties."

 **A son of Athena who went by the name Icarus stepped forward and offered his help. His arrow along with Athena's spear put an end to Enceladus' Earthborn, which led to more mortals coming forward.**

"I thought he was a legacy?" Percy asked Annabeth.

"He is. Legacies back then were still considered demigods, I guess."

"They were, but Icarus was long dead before the Giants came about," Athena said with pursed lips. "I believe it's an alias."

"...Quintus?" Percy asked quietly while Annabeth smiled.

 **Hermes and an unfortunate hero who lost his life playing the part of distraction had felled Hippolytus with the aid of Hades of all beings.**

Hades leveled a look at Hermes. "You're lucky I let you use my Helm."

"And I'm super thankful for it." The messenger nodded quickly.

 **Aphrodite assisted Naruto in destroying the abomination that was Periboia. It wasn't terribly difficult, but Aphrodite had kept offering services to Naruto afterwards that were welcome, but made him uneasy.**

"I wouldn't allow it." Hera sniffed and made the love goddess pout.

"Why not? Such a handsome hero deserves a _great_ reward."

"And with the disease that could follow? I'd rather he not." The Queen of Heaven frowned.

Aphrodite pouted even more. "That was just a rumor Artemis started!"

"Tr-Ugh!" Apollo grunted and glared at his twin as she smirked at him. Apollo rubbed his side and kept quiet.

 **Especially when the looming threat of Ares' wrath was brought up after the god demanded to see his weapon. Naruto had shown Ares his sword, named Asteria (brightest star), but it refused to be properly wielded by the god. A look from Hephaestus and the smith god pointed out that it was honed to only work for one of Aether's. Ares did not take kindly to finding a weapon he could not use.**

"Dammit!" Ares cursed. "I want to be Sith!"

"Rule of Two or Rule of One?" Apollo asked.

"Rule of...er, never mind." Ares went quiet as he caught Zeus' heated glare.

 **Aside from being enticed by Aphrodite and threatened by Ares, Naruto's other battles were minor skirmishes that were used to deflect the Gigantes and giants' attentions from the main target. He assisted Apollo in finding Artemis and then tried to help the 'good' giant Orion against the Scorpio. It didn't go well. At least the guy got a constellation for himself.**

 **As Naruto drank his wine he couldn't help but feel that something was wrong.**

"Okay, who spiked the wine?" Dionysus asked with a glower.

"How do you know it was spiked?" Hera asked as her frown grew at the thought.

Dionysus gave her a look. "In all realities, times and spaces, I have domain over Wine. I _know_ when things go wrong at parties. We are all connected in some manner to our alternate selves, and just now, foreboding crept up my spine. There is one explanation, someone tampered with the wine for murder. ...Well, that or someone wasted their alcohol."

"Why would anyone poison Naruto?" Percy asked.

Annabeth frowned and then groaned. "I think I have an idea, but let's keep going to see if it ever comes to light."

"A wise decision," Athena said. "Do not act until all of the facts are given."

Poseidon snorted. "Because you're _so_ well known for that."

"Can we be silent and get back to the story please?" Hestia asked before Athena could retort.

 **He shook the feeling off and drank more wine to Olympus' victory. Tonight was a night of cheer!**

 **"...** ** _Naruto_** **..." The voice was faint, but familiar. It was troubled. Naruto tried to look around. His eyes were stuck focused on a wall. His gaze would not turn, his body would not obey him.**

 **"** ** _Naruto, do not panic._** **" The voice said to him, calm but anxious all the same. "** ** _You're...dying, Naruto._** **"**

"Yeah, don't panic," Jason said under his breath.

"I'd panic." Leo shrugged.

Piper gave him a look. "But you've already died."

"I know, but I'd still panic."

 **Needless to say, Naruto started to mentally panic. Dying. Death. Judgment. Afterlife. He didn't want to deal with that. Not yet. Hell, he hadn't even gotten to lay with a woman yet!**

Aphrodite gasped in horror.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "That's not a bad thing."

"Of course you would say that, Prude!"

"Ladies..." Hera warned them before they could get started.

 **He wanted to have a family, leave an heir behind, and leave his mark on the world! How could this have happened? When? Why?**

 **"** ** _Naruto, you must remain calm!_** **" The voice was firm and warm. Naruto clung to its words like a lifeline. "** ** _I swore to your father that I would protect you. I cannot let him know that you've been harmed until I know how to fix what is wrong. For the time being, I've turned you to stone and placed you in my temple._**

"...While that is certainly ingenious..." Athena frowned as she spoke. "It is also reckless. Just what could happen to him mentally while in stone could mentally break him."

"I wouldn't let that happen." Hera told the wisdom goddess. "My other likely prepared for such possibilities."

 ** _I will not forget you, Naruto. I will fix this. I swear on the Styx._** **"**

 **And that is the story of how Naruto, the son of Aether and champion of Hera, was lost to history, forgotten by all but one.**

"And now I'm sad." Hazel frowned. That was a terrible fate, and she would know!

"There's more." Jason told her, much to the girl's relief.

 **Decades, centuries and even millennia passed as Naruto remained stone. Every now and then he would be visited by the voice. Far and in between were moments where he swore someone moved him. Mostly Naruto was suspended in time and he would do what most others could in his situation: He dreamed.**

 **He dreamt of a giant wooden horse going through a large gate.**

Athena chuckled darkly and Hera smiled along with her while Aphrodite huffed. They were just jealous in the Goddess of Love's opinion.

 **Then of a massive purple eagle that spread across the map of the known world.**

"That would be Rome." Reyna nodded. "It seems he is getting a brief history lesson."

"Ugh," Percy grimaced. "Education while sleeping. Worst dream ever."

"Worse than a demigod dream?" Annabeth asked.

"...Yes."

 **A vision of the map as it grew and turned into a sphere, followed by the vision of a small boat that travelled around the sphere as it grew larger. There were dreams of strange weapons that shot fire and smoke when used appropriately. There was a man with a weird hat crossing an icy river with a strange flag that had thirteen stripes and stars on it.**

"Appropriate." Athena nodded.

 **After that came a dream of two men, one dressed in blue and the other in grey, that shot at each other, which was followed by a man dressed in a black suit with a tall hat entering a building with a woman on his arm.**

"Not Lincoln!" Leo bellowed in sorrow. He buried his face in his arm. "That man rocked the stove-pipe hat!"

 **His dreams showed him a giant mushroom cloud formed after something had dropped from a high height.**

Ares let out a blissful sigh. The Demigods gave him an odd look before they looked back at the screen, grateful for the distance from the odd war deity.

 **Naruto's visions, he came to understand, were a sort of history lesson. He would wake momentarily in his suspended state and realize he knew what had happened around him. The dreams, visions, history lessons then turned to specific people.**

 **First was a freckled girl with black hair and electric blue eyes that fought off a cyclops with a spear.**

"Wow, surprised there isn't a flashing 'WARNING' sign around me." Thalia frowned at the image of her first fight for her life.

 **Next came a blond boy with the same eyes as he moved in a formation with larger boys and girls all clad in a purple shirt with golden weapons.**

Jason smiled softly.

 **Third was a small boy that had dark hair and bright green eyes as he strangled a snake.**

Annabeth patted her boyfriend's head and cooed at him. "Baby Percy do good!"

"Stop!" Percy laughed as he batted her hands away.

 **After that was a taller boy with sandy blond hair that ran from a woman.**

Hermes frowned.

 **A blonde girl no older than seven followed – Naruto was impressed by the amount of blondes, previously something he thought to be a rare hair color – and she attacked the last boy with a hammer.**

"Should've brained him." Ares mumbled to himself.

 **The young blond from before returned as he rescued a spotted cat.**

"Superboy at his finest." Piper teased, which got a flush from Jason.

"It was one time!" The son of the sky mumbled. The stupid thing scratched him anyway.

 **The dreams went back to a boy with dark hair and green eyes. He watched the boy as he fought Ares, the god unmistakable even with his strange new attire. The boy then ran from a cyclops. A massive being, Atlas Naruto vaguely recalled the Titan in his lessons with his father, knocked the boy around. Then a familiar blonde girl led the black haired boy, a satyr and a young cyclops through a strange maze – the Labyrinth.**

"Best quest ever," Annabeth said dryly.

"For realizes?"

Annabeth glared at the impishly smiling Piper.

 **The dreams stopped after that, but then Naruto felt something pierce his arm.**

 **"** ** _Rest, Naruto. You will return to the world soon._** **"**

 **Naruto dove into a dreamless sleep after the words echoed in his head.**

 **"He's waking up! Quick, go get Chiron!"**

 **That was probably the most irritable thing to do to someone who was just waking up after a millennia long nap, Naruto mused as he slowly came back to consciousness. A hand pressed down on his shoulder and Naruto grabbed it with his own. His eyes met the owner's warm brown. The brown eyes belonged to a simple beauty of a maiden that had long black hair. He could see his reflection in her eyes, and he looked rather annoyed.**

 **"Stop. Yelling." Naruto grunted out.** ** _Huh, was my voice always that deep?_**

"Your balls dropped while you were stoned." Ares chuckled and earned a few sniggers from his brothers. Yep, he still had it.

 **"We're not yelling," a voice to his left said. Naruto turned to see a maiden with honey blonde hair and calculating grey eyes.**

 **Naruto squinted at her, for she seemed familiar. "Lady Athena?"**

"Well, that's a compliment." Percy grinned while Annabeth looked pleased.

Athena had a gleam of approval in her eyes as well.

 **The other maiden snickered while the Athena lookalike shook her head. "I'm Annabeth. Athena is my mother."**

"Wait, a powerful warrior frozen from time?" Leo furrowed his brow and mumbled. "...This is starting to sound like something."

 **Naruto nodded in understanding. "I see. I am known as Naruto, son of Aether. Champion of Hera."**

 **The two maidens stared at him before Annabeth sighed. "Well, I guess that answers why you were in Cabin Two."**

 **Naruto frowned. "Cabin Two?"**

"Oh man, the dude doesn't even know about chicken nuggets!" Leo gasped and Hazel mustered a light glare at him.

 **"Hera's Cabin," the other maiden said. Naruto's attention went back to her as she continued. "There was a missive from Hera to retrieve something within her cabin and...Well, Chiron certainly wasn't expecting you."**

 **"Chiron!? The Trainer?" Naruto asked. He looked to the daughter of Athena. "He's here?"**

 **Annabeth nodded. "Yeah. He'll explain when he gets here, but first." Annabeth's eyes grew stony as she stared at him. "How did you become a statue? Did you face Medusa?"**

Percy turned to his girlfriend. "Do you always interrogate people when they wake up?"

Annabeth sheepishly smiled at him.

 **Naruto snorted at her question. "The Gorgon? Perseus slayed her centuries ago, has he not? It's impossible to kill what's already dead."**

 **Annabeth frowned. "Monsters have been coming back from Tartarus to torment demigods since after Greece fell. But if Medusa didn't turn you to stone, what did?"**

 **"That, Annabeth, is a question I don't have an answer to." Naruto shrugged. He turned and rose from the cot he previously lay on. Naruto rolled his stiff joints and gave the other maiden a smile. "I don't think we have been introduced. I am Naruto."**

 **The girl flushed lightly and smiled back. "Katie Gardener. I'm the counselor of Cabin Four."**

Demeter frowned lightly while a gentle laugh escaped Hera's lips.

"My, she seems smitten."

"Sister..." Demeter warned.

"Oh, Naruto has shown to be a kind soul, Demeter." Hera dismissed the concern in her sister's voice. "It could be a simple aesthetic attraction, so stop fretting."

 **"Demeter's Cabin." Annabeth supplied.**

 **Naruto gave Katie a grin. "I can see the resemblance."**

 **Katie's cheeks darkened.**

 **Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You can flirt later, you need to speak with Chiron."**

 **"What is this 'flirt'?" Naruto asked with a raised brow. "Is it a fruit?"**

"Wow, it really is the Chicken Nugget incident all over again."

"It was never an incident!" An embarrassed Hazel protested loudly.

"Why are you so heated up, then?" Leo asked in amusement while the other demigods snickered.

Hazel's cheeks darkened when even Frank chuckled a little.

 **"No, it's...the casual talk that comes before courting," Annabeth said, a mild look of amusement on her face as Katie's face turned a bright red.**

 **"I wasn't courting anyone. Perhaps after I get something to eat," Naruto said as he rubbed his stomach, which chose that moment to growl loudly. Naruto chuckled and patted his stomach with a smile on his face. "Millennia of sleep makes one hungry, it seems!"**

 **"If you're going to leave the tent, you need to change out of your...cloths...and probably shower," Annabeth said under her breath.**

 **Naruto looked down at his chiton and sandals before he looked back up at Annabeth with a frown on his face. "What is wrong with my chiton? Both it and my perizoma were sewn by the finest of seamstresses in Olympia!"**

"Old fashion, dear. While it was the rage back then, not so much now." Aphrodite shook her head. She did look the teen's image over and gave a light smile. "Though, with that much skin it shows, maybe it should come back..."

"No." The gods disagreed.

 **Katie cleared her throat. "It's not, um, the latest fashion anymore. It went out of style forever ago," she said with a small smile on her face. "We could get you a camp shirt and a pair of jeans, and you could keep your sandals if you want."**

 **Naruto's shoulders fell a margin. "I suppose...but what are 'jeans'?"**

"Oh, he's like Steve Rogers!" Apollo gasped and Leo snapped his fingers.

"Exactly!"

"So he's Captain America, er, Captain Greece?" Percy asked.

"Not a thing." Apollo sighed disappointedly. "I tried, but it was vetoed."

 **"These are the most uncomfortable fabrics I've ever worn," Naruto said a moment after he finished changing into the jeans. Next to him, Mitchell, a son of Aphrodite, rolled his eyes. Naruto caught it and frowned at the one that helped him change into the strange attire. "What? They are! Stiff and limiting. I doubt one could run very well with these."**

"He'd be surprised." Thalia argued lightly.

"Jeans are imperative for any demigod." Percy agreed.

Thalia looked at Percy strangely. "When you'd learn such a big word?"

"…Annabeth gave me a word calendar."

 **"They're made of more durable fabric, and they break in quick. We could look around the camp store for some running pants, they might be looser for you. I told you to put the underwear on instead of that... thong." Mitchell shuddered. "How can you stand that thing?"**

 **"...I stand very well, thank you." Naruto replied while he furrowed his brows. "What is a thong?"**

"That was a thing back in the day," Hermes grimaced. "Getting a wedgie was an everyday thing."

Ares chuckled deeply, since he had invented the torture.

 **"Mitchell, stop goofing around in there!" Annabeth's annoyed voice called from outside of the changing room.**

 **"It's not my fault he's a fashion disaster!" Mitchell returned with a scowl on his face. He huffed and turned back to Naruto. "Word of advice, Annabeth's the smartest in camp, but sometimes she's not the kindest. She can be very bossy. I just hope Percy Jackson can handle that as a girlfriend. Whole camp knows they're going to end up together for as many quests they've been on. My money is it happens after summer."**

"Smart call." The love goddess tittered as the couple smiled at one another. "Battles are known to awaken passion after all~"

 **Naruto arched a brow. "Girlfriend? Is that different than a friend who is a woman?"**

 **"...Wow, man Ancient Greece must've been boring. Didn't you have a word for a, um...romantic interest before you married her?" Mitchel asked as he held a shirt up to Naruto's chest. He frowned. "A medium is going to be tight. My sisters would like that, but..."**

"Mitchell, do the smart thing." The boy's mother warned.

"Mom, stop it." Piper frowned.

"But he's such a hunk! He needs to flaunt it! Think of your sisters, Piper!"

"He's not an attention whore like some people." Hera argued firmly with a not-so-subtle jab at the goddess.

Aphrodite hummed. "True, he's still in those awkward teenage years. Still, those are a lot of fun to watch. It's why we have a camp after all!"

"Speak for yourself." Dionysus drawled dryly.

 **"If I can function in combat with it, it won't be a problem. If it is, I'll rid myself of the nuisance," Naruto said dryly. He thought about what Mitchel said and beamed. "Ah, you speak of a Hetaira!"**

 **"What are you talking about in there Mitchell!?" Annabeth yelled at the son of Aphrodite.**

 **"Guy stuff! Gods know that he needs the help!" Mitchell returned with a frown. He offered the shirt to Naruto and then grabbed a larger shirt for himself. "Watch and copy, this is how you put it on."**

 **After mistaking the arm and head holes a few times, Naruto managed to get the camp shirt on. He ran his hand over the fabric that clung to his chest and hummed. "A pegasus, hm? Noble, airborne and just.**

"Best shirt ever."

"I beg to differ." Reyna frowned at Percy's words.

"But we got a Pegasus on it, right? Horse Friend?"

Reyna pouted. Her purple shirt did lack that.

 **Met one once when I was a boy. This cloth is far more comfortable than the jeans."**

 **"That's cotton," Mitchell said. He stepped back and gave the ancient demigod a once over. He nodded. "Yep. You're going to be the new camp heartthrob. You've got that heroic build, a strong chin, and a bit of a feral vibe to you from your whiskers."**

 **Naruto grimaced and rubbed the scars on his cheek. "They aren't whiskers. Curse my father's flawless appearance. If I could grow a beard I would..."**

"Now he has taste." Zeus nodded while Poseidon agreed as well.

Hades rolled his eyes. "Facial haired freaks."

 **"Next word of advice, most of the girls here don't care about the size of your facial hair. It's not as much of a status thing anymore," Mitchell said. He looked at the blond's discarded tunic and grabbed the golden and silver sword handle that lay atop the clothes. "We should get this repaired and a holster for it."**

 **"Repaired? Asteria isn't broken, she merely rests." Naruto smiled as he held his hand out and brought the handle to his grip with a small glance.**

 **Mitchell's eyes were wide. "No freaking way..." He turned to Naruto and asked softly. "Dude...are you a Jedi?"**

"Even Mitchell can see it." Percy grinned in pride while Annabeth crossed her arms sourly.

 **"...A what?" Naruto blinked, his frown back on his face.**

 **"Please tell me an energy sword comes out of that thing!" Mitchell said. Naruto merely held the handle in reverse and pulled the starlight from within out. A bright blue beam rose into a straight blade and Mitchell gaped at it. "...You are so much cooler than Percy Jackson."**

"I...I can't argue with that." Percy grunted and pursed his lips. "Dude's a freaking Jedi!"

Jason patted his shoulder. "There's no shame in admitting it. I think he's cooler than me, too."

 **"...I do not know who that is," Naruto said. He put a hand on his forehead. "And I do not seem to have chills, so I doubt I am cooler."**

 **"Wow, a good looking Jedi and a comedian? The girls here are going to eat you alive!"**

 **Naruto's eyes widened and he held his sword in a defensive reverse grip as he looked around fearfully. "There's cannibalism here?!"**

"Phrasing!" Apollo grinned.

 **Mitchell brought his hands up in surrender. "Dude, relax, it's a figure of speech. It just means that the girls will** ** _really_** **like you." His eyes went to the glowing blade that was held by the older demigod. "Er, please don't slice off my arm."**

 **Naruto blinked and relaxed his stance. "Oh..." He frowned. "Your language is strange...why didn't the world just stick with Greek?"**

 **"Ancient Greek."**

"Right in the gems." Hades chuckled.

 **"...Thank you for the reminder." Naruto glowered and deactivated Asteria. He kept his grip on her and fumbled with the door before he stepped out. Mitchell came out behind him and patted the older boy on the shoulder.**

 **"The world evolves man, even the gods have to follow that rule." The son of love shrugged and pulled off the oversized camp shirt. "Don't worry about it, you seem like a smart guy. We'll have you caught up to speed in no time."**

 **The ancient demigod gave the modern one a small smile of gratitude before he looked at the expectant Annabeth and Katie. He smiled at the two maidens and presented himself. "Well? Does it suit your standards?"**

 **"...Yeah it does..." Katie mumbled.**

Demeter pouted while Aphrodite and Hera giggled lightly.

"Oh, this is going to be entertaining." Aphrodite smiled.

Annabeth shook her head, poor Katie. The other girls were going to swarm Naruto in no time.

 **She grunted when Annabeth elbowed her in the side.**

 **"Reel it in, Gardener." Annabeth warned. She nodded at Naruto. "You look good, I guess."**

 **Mitchell smirked at her and crossed his arms. "He isn't Percy Jackson though."**

 **"I don't know what you're talking about," Annabeth said.**

 **Mitchell rolled his eyes. "Right. Later Naruto. Look me up if you want to continue our 'modern' lessons."**

 **"Thank you, Mitchell." Naruto nodded. He grinned at his two female guides roguishly. "Then let us meet the Trainer! I'm sure there's much for him to enlighten me with."**

 **"I'll catch up with you later, I have to run the camp shop." Katie sighed sadly.**

 **Naruto gave her a small smile of approval before he looked at Annabeth. "Shall we?"**

 **"Sure, follow me."**

 **"How did this happen while you were escorting him through camp?" The centaur trainer asked one distressed Annabeth Chase.**

 **"I don't know, but I turned to talk to Malcolm for a second about the west perimeter defenses and when I looked back he was gone!" Annabeth frowned at the annoyed ancient demigod. "Next thing I knew, these four were on the ground holding their arms in agony."**

"We missed a fight?!" Ares raged and slammed his fist on his throne's arm. "Dammit!"

 **"They attacked me." Naruto huffed as he crossed his arms and glared at the four children of Ares that had latched onto him while he waited for Annabeth.**

"Er, on second thought…" Ares grimaced irritably.

 **The four glared right back and favored their now split covered arms. He looked away and frowned. "I would have thought the demigods of today would be ...stronger."**

"Oh snap!" Leo laughed.

Piper held back a giggle. "That's just terrible."

"He has nothing wrong in thinking that," Athena said with a shrug. "Today's age comes with boons but also faults."

 **"I'll kill him!" Three of the four had to jump on the last before he could leap at Naruto. They were already in enough trouble as it was with Chiron and their godly father, they really didn't want to piss Hera off.**

"Amazing. They have more mental capabilities than their father." Hera mused.

Ares sulked at the jab from his mother.

 **"Settle down, Mark," Chiron said to the upset demigod and turned to Naruto. "Times have changed, Naruto. There's more heroes than there used to be."**

 **Naruto gave him a dry stare. "Yes, I can see that. Although 'heroes' is not the word I would use."**

All of the demigods frowned at that.

"That was uncalled for." Percy frowned. "I thought he was cool."

"Jedi have sticks up their butts." Frank told him.

"Still... Not cool…"

 **"Hey!" Annabeth frowned at him.**

 **Naruto looked back at her and shrugged. "Apollo's wisdom says to use the truth when one sees it, and punishment will be avoided."**

 **"...I've forgotten he used to be like that," Chiron said softly.**

"Same." Artemis grunted. He was far more bearable then.

 **"Has the sun lord changed?" Naruto asked.** ** _Hope not. Apollo was one of the few sons of Zeus that were kind to me during the Gigantomachy._**

"I wonder why?" Artemis asked aloud as Apollo whistled innocently.

What? He liked blonds. They had _way_ more fun.

 **"...Not that much. He's less philosophic than he used to be. Philosophy isn't as...alluring as it was back home," Chiron said with a bit of a frown. "Shame, too. Kids today are more interested in hazing newcomers than listening to my philosophy."**

 **The Ares kids winced while Naruto ignored them and frowned. "What is 'hazing'?"**

 **"It's an initiation, a cruel rite of passage that senior members of a group perform on newcomers." Annabeth rattled off intellectually. "Nowadays it's been frowned upon for some horrors and psychological scarring that comes from some hazes."**

Ares scoffed. "Babies. It puts hair on the chest!"

"Along with psychological trauma, yes." Athena nodded sarcastically. It disgusted her to see colleges, places for people to grow in her domain, had fallen victim to this.

 **"...This sounds unbelievably childish." Naruto deadpanned. "I thought this was a camp for demigods, not children."**

 **Annabeth frowned at him. "We are still children."**

 **"Children suckled on their mothers teats and stayed home to help with chores. Once one could go work in the fields or do battle, they were no longer children." Naruto drawled sternly. He smiled as he thought back to his childhood, or rather, the end of it. "It was in my tenth year that my father told me I was no longer a child and sent me down to study with a farmhand. Poor Thales, I wonder what happened to him."**

"Now that's a pedigree." Apollo whistled while Annabeth looked racked with jealousy.

Athena arched a brow in mild interest. "Indeed it is. I wonder just what else he learned while in his slumber?"

 **"Good things," Chiron said with a secretive smile. He looked to Annabeth and gave her an apologetic smile. "You must understand, Annabeth, that the children of Ancient Greece had a shorter 'childhood' than you do today."**

"Steve Rogers people, come on," Leo said with a roll of his eyes. "Then again, this makes him more entertaining."

 **He looked to Naruto. "And while this is difficult for you, Naruto, you must adapt to the times or you will be made into an outcast by your peers."**

 **Naruto grimaced. "You could say I have prior experience."**

 **"Pardon?" Chiron asked.**

 **"Nothing, Chiron." Naruto rubbed his neck. "Tell me, are there any monsters I could assist in dealing with? There's a crick in my neck and I really must do something about it."**

"How does fighting monsters help with a knot in the neck?" Piper asked dryly.

"You' be surprised." Jason told his girlfriend as he turned the page.

 **"...How would fighting a monster help?" Annabeth asked.**

 **Chiron however stroked his chin. "I...suppose there is something you take care of."**

"Well, knowing the woods…it's bad." Percy surmised.

"Pervious experience?"

"You have _no_ idea." The son of Poseidon told Piper.

 **The woods were filled with monsters, the trainer of old had told Naruto. Since the war with the recently returned Kronos – something that Naruto still had a hard time coming to terms with – the woods were no longer a safe haven for the demigods to perform 'games' in. The mere thought made Naruto scowl. In a new time he may be, but demigods were warriors, soldiers of Olympus and the Gods! Not children playing games...**

"I like his attitude." Ares grinned and glared at the kids. "You could learn a thing or two from him. Damn punks."

"…Did Ares just try to deliver a moral?" Hermes asked Athena, who looked slightly pale.

"Yes, yes he did."

"Oh good, I thought I was the only one who noticed."

 **A branch snapped beneath Naruto's foot as he paused at the sound of a larger, more threatening crash of a tree being toppled. That wasn't too far from where he was, and eager to stretch his limbs, Naruto turned towards the source of the sound. He bounded through the woods, swift as Hermes**

"He's not that fast…" Hermes muttered.

"He's from our time, dude," Apollo said. "Remember? Back when people used us to remark how 'impossible' things were? Before they had speedometers?"

"...Oh yeah!" Hermes grinned. "It's a compliment then!"

 **and as cautious as Helios, before he stumbled across what he deemed his target.**

 **A dragon. It was the same brown as the earth beneath his sandals, with a length Naruto estimated to be equal to at least five or six horses, weighing twice as many as it was long. The scales looked like armor, it would be hard to pierce with even celestial bronze. Those wings had attached claws at the tips, and by the smoke in its nostrils, there was a fire in its belly. The teeth and claws were a threat only to a novice.**

"…Wow he is old," Percy said. "Just look at the way he described it. Who does that?"

"Like you don't describe things in your head?" Annabeth cocked a brow.

"…No."

 **Naruto smirked and with a thought, brought Asteria around his body slowly from where it was holstered on his hip to his right hand. He flipped the handle to grip it as he preferred, in reverse, and willed the blade to life.**

 **"I need a new satchel," Naruto said to himself as he rushed at the giant reptile. The dragon notice him and roared, its breath foul and deadly in its own right. Naruto held his left hand out, the palm outstretched towards the dragon, and sent a hard push at the beast's head.**

 **The dragon was forced back several meters, but it did not fall. The folded wings acted as anchors to keep it upright and a stream of fire left its mouth. Naruto cut through the flames with Asteria and continued his assault.**

"Wait, they can…cut fire?" Hazel asked in confusion. "These 'lightsabers' are weird."

Leo looked at Frank. "You've _got_ to show her the movies."

"It's on the to-do list." The son of Mars grunted. That list was seriously building up.

 **At the last moment he jumped up and cleared the dragon's reach with it's jaws. He targeted the back, between the wings, and drove the tip of his emissive sword into the creature.**

 **The dragon roared in agony and reared back onto its hind legs. Naruto kept his balance with a strong pull through his feet to cling to the monster's back. He removed Asteria from the dragon's spine and swung it at the right wing. The heat of his blade seared the wing off and the dragon let out another bellow of pain.**

"Just a _little_ off the top," Apollo said and he made a snipping motion towards Hermes.

"You know I hate that!" Hermes backed away, he pushed up into the far side of his throne when Apollo went to snip him.

"Come on Herm, it was a good joke."

"No, it wasn't!"

 **"Foul beast!" Naruto claimed with a grin as he did off with the other wing and then jumped from the drake's back. He landed a good distance away and held Asteria behind him, his left hand brought up and held out towards the furious monster. "Come hither!"**

"I think he'd pull off LARPing rather well." Nico admitted.

"You LARP?" Thalia asked him with a weird look.

"No, but it seems pretty cool. Wait." The son of Hades paused and turned to his cousin. "How do you know about LARPing?"

"Um..." Thalia hesitated. She didn't want to mention that Artemis actually enjoyed LARPing once a year. And…forced the Hunters to join her. Talk about a blow to her reputation.

 **The dragon roared defiantly at him, but Naruto's grin only widened. He braced himself as the dragon charged him this time. Fire tickled at its mouth and the soulless eyes that lie in the sockets glared with an intense hate, one that soared beyond the innate dislike of half-breeds the monster was created with. Naruto waited until the fire left the dragon's mouth before he moved.**

 **Naruto rolled under the flame to his right and sliced off the dragon's left front leg. As the beast toppled to the side, Naruto jumped and brought Asteria up to remove the hind right leg. All mobility was stopped. All that the dragon could do now was breathe fire or bite him.**

 **Foolishly, it tried to do the latter.**

"Yeah, because who has ever heard of a smart dragon?" Thalia snorted.

"Festus." Leo argued sternly.

"He was a machine."

"That _was also a_ _dragon_! I rest my case."

 **Naruto merely held his left hand up and pushed the head back. Then he reared around, twisted his body, and threw Asteria at the dragon. The Aether crafted sword flew through the air like a discus. It passed through one half of the dragon's neck, and with proper manipulation on Naruto's part, went through the rest on the return.**

"Jedi~"

Annabeth glowered at the smug tone her boyfriend had. Okay, he was asking for it now.

 **Naruto caught Asteria effortlessly by the grip of the handle thanks to years of practice and watched in awe as the dragon's corpse did not lie permanently before him, but dissolve into golden dust that smelt of sulfur. Naruto let out an interested noise as a dark brown robe rested where the dragon's body once lay.**

"Oh come on!" Annabeth threw her hands in the air.

Percy grinned. "Maybe he'll start an Order."

 **"So many things have changed." Naruto mumbled to himself as he walked forward to retrieve his reward. He lifted the robe in his hand and hummed. "This looks like Hestia's robe...only more masculine."**

 **With a shrug, Naruto pulled the brown cloak over his arms and holstered Asteria. He walked back to the camp of demigods with a calm and relaxed smile on his face. That was certainly the most entertaining thing he'd done since he had returned from his slumber.**

 **He could hardly await his next challenge.**

"Best. Naruto. Ever." Percy claimed and got many nods from his fellow demigods.

"It doesn't make sense," Annabeth said childishly.

"There, there, it's okay to be wrong every once in a while, Wise Girl.."

Percy received a stern glare from the blonde architect.

So worth it.

"I felt it was a well-crafted tale." Hera mused while Zeus looked grumpy.

"If Aether had the boy as a child in this novel, think of whom else might," he said. The Olympians gained looks of concern and unease while Jason swallowed and turned the page.

* * *

 **For Phoebe's Second Gift, I honestly forgot about it. It will be the next one up. So no need to ask for it.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own** ** _Naruto_** **or** ** _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_** **/** ** _Heroes of Olympus_** **.**

 **Reading: Olympian One-shots: Phoebe's Second Gift**

Thalia looked at the title of the next story and bit back a groan. She looked around at the smiles aimed at her with a scowl.

"What?"

"Do you want to read?" Annabeth asked, her amusement evident in her bright grin.

Thalia snatched the book and said nothing more as she turned the page.

 **The sunlight came down through parted curtains of a large master bedroom in Hi no Kuni. A tanned arm lifted to shield a whiskered face and the light parted around it. A sun-like pupil within a blue eye cracked open and a groan left the tired lips of the owner.**

 **"Dad...you suck** ** _balls_** **." He mumbled.**

"On occasion, yes." Ares nodded.

"Wow, not even a few seconds in and you can't hold back a gay joke?" Apollo asked dryly.

"Nah, and it is true."

"That's beside the point." The sun god argued.

Ares grinned. "Not a denial..."

 **Surrendering to his father's bright call, Naruto tried to roll out of bed, only to be kept pinned by a lean arm draped over his chest. Naruto turned his head down to the short mop of black hair and smiled softly, his other hand coming up to rub her back. "Lia-chan, it's time to wake up."**

 **Thalia scrunched her eyes together and burrowed her face into his shoulder. "No...I want another hour."**

"To spoon no doubt." Aphrodite tittered.

"Whatever." Thalia grunted.

 **"Can't give you that." Naruto murmured as he rolled them over and covered her with his body. He planted soft kisses around her neck, making her writhe and whine in protest.**

"No! Her one weakness!" Piper cried out in mock horror.

Thalia ground her teeth. She could just tell that this was going to be a _long_ read.

 **"We gotta wake up before Bolt and Joan do. Get them ready."**

 **"They can sleep a bit longer." Thalia protested as her arms wrapped around his neck. Electric blue eyes cracked open and stared into Naruto's unique sun-pupil filled blue ones. They both grinned at each other and their lips collided.**

 **"They're kids. Fifteen more minutes of sleep is good for them." Naruto mumbled around the kiss.**

 **Thalia moaned against his lips and her hands moved to intertwined into his hair. "Thirty minutes is fine."**

 **"An extra hour of sleep never hurt anybody." Naruto conceded.**

"Well, how healthy of you." Annabeth snickered into her hand while Thalia started to turn pink as she read about her other's intimacy.

"Still, doing that after a pair of kids is very good." Aphrodite nodded with a wide smile. "Just imagine another child!"

Apollo rubbed his chin while grinning. "I don't mind having more legacies."

"I'm trying to read here!" Thalia complained.

 **They parted from their kiss and smiled at one another. Naruto pulled the covers over them, hiding them from the sunlight as they both became more intimate.**

"Aw…" Apollo pouted. He hissed in pain as Artemis punched his knee.

 **It was two hours later when the much happier parents left their bedroom. Thalia dressed in dark jeans, a tight Green Day shirt and combat sandals that she had learned to love. Naruto was her polar opposite, wearing lightly faded jeans and a form-fitting white shirt with a golden Omega on his chest.**

"Damn, not going to lie, that's a pair of cool looking parents." Leo admitted with a grin on his face. Thalia in this world was a MILF in his opinion.

 **He also had a black headband with the symbol of Konoha tied around his right arm. Naruto shut the door to their bedroom and stood between two doors in the hall with his wife.**

 **On one door were posters of various things that a five-year-old girl would enjoy. A happily drawn picture with four big stick figures and one little stick figure was plastered underneath four** ** _pink_** **letters that spelled out J-O-A-N.**

"Aww, we get to see little Joan." Piper cooed.

"Yes, before Thalia turned her into a copy of herself." Aphrodite agreed with her daughter.

"Only, she can fly and Thalia can't." Jason grinned.

"Watch it, mister." Thalia warned her brother.

 **On the other door was a large cartoonish yellow lightning bolt, a Hiraishin seal plastered atop the cartoonish lightning.**

 **"So, heads I get to wake up Bolt, tails I wake up Joan," Naruto said, holding up a drachma.**

 **"Oh, no. He's your son, too," Thalia said with a smirk. She went to her daughter's room and turned the knob. "You get to wake him up."**

"In other words, he's got diaper duty," Thalia said smugly.

"Isn't that abuse of motherly power?" Percy asked.

"No." Thalia snorted as every mother agreed with her.

Jason whispered to Percy. "I think we're boned."

"Oh, yeah."

 **"Wha-but...Lia-chan!" Naruto protested with a look of horror as Thalia shut the door behind her. He grimaced. "You so want to see Bolt shock me again."**

 **Thalia poked her head back out of the door. "Yes. Yes I do."**

Thalia smirked. Yeah, she'd do that.

 **"...Why did I marry you again?" Naruto asked.**

 **Thalia titled her head, pretending to think about it. "I think it had something to do with me being the love of your life?"**

 **Naruto pursed his lips and thought about it. "...No. No, I think it might be because of the awesome sex. Yes. Yeah, I definitely married you because of the awesome sex."**

"I can see it." Leo said, getting some looks from his friends. "What? Look at her!"

"I'm going to shock him if he keeps that up." Thalia warned Jason.

Jason's smile wilted. "Uh, I'll keep him under control."

"You cannot contain the flames!"

"Hey!" Percy and Poseidon frowned at Leo.

 **"Pig." Thalia huffed with a small smirk before she shut the door.**

 **"She loves it." Naruto grinned as he went into Bolt's room. He walked over to the crib made by his sister-in-law Katie Fletcher,**

"Saw that coming without Foresight!" Apollo whooped while Demeter looked conflicted.

 **carved from laurel wood and decorated with little lightning bolts, birds, and a fox curled into the a circle at the head. Naruto leaned on the edge and smiled down at the occupant of the crib.**

 **"Look at you," he said, receiving a happy squeal from the wide awake baby boy. "Someone woke up to grandpa, huh? Or did Mommy and Daddy wake you up?"**

"I hope it wasn't the latter, Zeus tends to be loud. Like his thunder." Hera commented idly.

Thalia looked horrified at the very notion.

Zeus cleared his throat and rung his collar at the amused looks his siblings gave him.

"Hera." He hissed.

The queen of heaven raised a brow. "What? It's true."

 **The electric blue-eyed one-year-old clapped his chubby hands together, sparks coming from his fingers. Naruto's smile became nervous and he reached carefully into the crib. "Okay, buddy, don't shock Daddy today, huh? Big day today, Boruto."**

 **Bolt squealed as his father picked him up and cradled him in his arms. Naruto sniffed and coughed, his head turned away from his son, before he grimaced at the boy.**

"Ah, the bane of all parenting," Hermes frowned.

"Puberty?" Percy guessed.

"No, the dreaded diaper change."

 **"Talk about brewing a storm. Ugh, you're far too much like me," Naruto said as he took Bolt over to the diaper changing dresser and started to do one of his least favorite fatherly duties. Once the diaper was opened, the father recoiled. "Oh gods on Olympus, what is wrong with your digestion? That is not normal."**

 **Bolt laughed at the look on his father's face. Naruto quickly dispensed of the used diaper – burning it with Katon and the air around it to get rid of the smell – and cleaned the residue up.**

"Come on, hurry up." Thalia muttered. She did not want to read this part. She'd done enough diaper changes for Jason when he was a baby.

 **"Are you laughing at me?" Naruto asked after he cleaned his son, tickling his stomach. He grinned as Bolt's two faint whisker-marked cheeks spread with his laughter. "You laughing at me? Is Daddy's face funny?"**

 **Bolt squealed and giggled, releasing a discharge that made Naruto yelp from the sudden shock and pull away. Naruto cursed softly in Greek as he shook his hands, allowing them to heal. Bolt stuck his hand in his mouth, his eyes bright in amusement, and Naruto couldn't help but smile at him.**

"I just want to pinch those cheeks!" Hazel cooed at the sight.

"He's a real charmer, like granddaddy." Apollo smirked.

"More likely he got it from his father" Artemis corrected.

"Hey! I'm full of charm!"

 **"You, Boruto Uzumaki, are too cute to be mad at." Naruto smiled as he grabbed a new diaper and proceeded to put it on Bolt. He poked Bolt's side and grinned even more when Bolt squealed. "Don't tell anyone I said that, though."**

 **"I'm going to tell everyone." Naruto turned to look at Thalia, who smirked at him.**

 **Naruto frowned at her before he turned back to Bolt, who was staring at his hand, while he finished getting the diaper on. "Mommy's such a meanie, Bolt. Did you know that she wanted to name you Billie Joe?"**

"What is he? A banjo player?" Jason asked his sister.

Thalia glared heatedly at her brother for his ignorance. "He's the lead of Green Day!"

"…Still sounds like a banjo player to me."

Thalia kicked his shin.

"Ow!" Jason cried out.

 **"It's a good name!"**

"That's a name Percy would think up. Speaking of which." Annabeth turned to her boyfriend. "You can't name our children."

Percy pouted. "Nicknames?"

The blonde nodded. "Yes."

"I am surprisingly okay with this."

"Wow, and to think you guys were iffy on the whole college idea, already moving on to kids, Annabeth?" Piper teased.

The wise and sea couple flushed bright red while the other demigods laughed.

 **Thalia protested as she walked into the room and pushed him away. She looked down at her son and grabbed his hand, drawing his attention and making him squeal happily. "I only decided to name you Boruto when I saw how much you looked like your dad." Thalia gave Naruto a smirk before she leaned into Bolt's face and stage whispered. "You're much cuter than he is, though."**

Hazel nodded. "All babies are cute."

 **"Ouch. Hurtful." Naruto put a hand on his chest. He walked up behind Thalia and leaned over her to smile at Bolt. "But very true."**

 **"Go make sure your daughter doesn't flood the bathroom again and wash her hair," Thalia said as she rubbed her nose against Bolt's. "I'll make sure my son gets dressed."**

 **"Why is it that whenever they do something bad they're mine and whenever they're being adorable they're yours?" Naruto asked with a frown.**

"It's the basic double standard of parenting. It's why Ares is Zeus' child all the time." Hera confirmed.

"Just keep sending me the bad press." Zeus grunted. He was already used to his wife's method of avoid the blame being pinned on her.

 **Thalia turned and smirked at him. "Because you didn't carry them in your stomach for nine months."**

"That sounds kinda cheap…" Percy frowned.

Annabeth gave him a look. "Really?"

"…No?"

Annabeth patted his head. "Good boy, you're learning."

 **Naruto pursed his lips. "Fair enough." He kissed her cheek and then walked out of the baby room towards the kids' shared bathroom. He knocked on the door and pressed his ear against it. The sound of water being splashed and giggles brought a smile to his face. "Hime, you in the tub?"**

 **"Yes, Daddy!" Joan called back**

 **"Can I come in to wash your hair?"**

 **"Hai~!"**

 **Naruto rolled his eyes at the playful shout and entered the bathroom. He closed his eyes and groaned when soapy water splashed his foot. "Hime...did you turn the faucet off?"**

 **"Um...Oopsie?"**

"Splish splash, Joan likes her bubble baths." The son of Poseidon laughed. "There's the water damage on the house."

 **Naruto opened his eyes and whimpered at the water damage to the bathroom floor. "This is going to cost a lot to fix. Joan. Turn the water off."**

 **"Sorry, Daddy," Joan said softly. The bath water sloshed as she moved to the other end of the tub and turned the water off.**

 **"It's okay, Hime. You've got to stop flooding the bathroom, though. Uncle Dork's not going to have any water at his lake if you keep this up." Naruto said as he walked over to the tub.**

Percy frowned. "Wait a second, did he just call me-?"

"Uncle, yes." Annabeth nodded.

"No! The other part!"

"Oh, you mean that you're a dork? Yeah, it's true." Thalia smiled in agreement.

"But he's saying that to his kids!"

"And it's hilarious!" Ares bellowed a laugh while Percy simmered.

Damn Apoluto!

 **He reached into the water and pulled the plug, letting it drain for a bit before he put the plug back in place. Naruto put his hands on his hips and stared down at his daughter.**

 **Joan was a mirror image of her mother. They both had freckles and black hair. if it weren't for the faint whiskers under her eyes, Naruto wouldn't be sure if Thalia even had a daughter or a clone. Right now, her sun-like pupils were apologetic and it wasn't in his heart to stay mad at her.**

"Who could stay mad at that face?" Piper asked with a wide smile.

"A stern parent." Thalia answered firmly.

"No, daughters have their fathers around their finger, right Athena? Artemis?" Hermes asked his sisters. Both goddesses didn't even bother to answer. It was one of Hermes' favorite topics to mock them with.

They were not daddy's girls!

 **"I'm really sorry, Daddy." Joan's bottom lip trembled.**

 ** _That is so not fair._** **Naruto sighed and pulled the stool he and Thalia used to avoid sitting on the ground over. "I know, sweetie. I hope you left some water for Poseidon to rule over. Now c'mere and let me wash your hair."**

 **"Okay!" The sad look disappeared and Joan grabbed her shampoo. Naruto smiled as he washed his daughter's hair while she recited the dream she had the night before to him. Thankfully there hadn't been another soap in the eye incident. Naruto was not in the mood to be caught up in a hurricane in a bathroom.**

"Wow, that's worse than Jason." Thalia commented.

"I wasn't that bad." The son of Jupiter frowned. "Right?"

"Please, you were horrendous!"

"…I'm going to need scuba gear, aren't I?" Annabeth paled.

"Or you can just chore it onto wet head, Annie." Thalia assured with a teasing grin.

"That's smart. Diaper duty too, maybe…"

"Hey." Percy frowned, pointing at her. "We share that one. No buts!"

 **"We're going to Camp! We're going to Camp! We're going to Camp!" Joan sang as Naruto piggybacked her down the stairs. Joan was dressed in tan cargo pants, the child's equivalent to her parent's combat sandals, and she had picked out black shirt with a golden Omega on the front and a large Uzumaki spiral on the back, despite Naruto trying to urge her to dress a bit nicer. Then again, he and Thalia were dressed rather causally, but they were used to that sort of thing.**

"Ugh," Aphrodite scrunched her nose. "Honestly, she'd look wonderful in a little sundress! But _no_ , she has her mother's taste in fashion."

Thalia frowned. "What's wrong with my style?"

"Dear, it'd be better to ask what isn't wrong with it!" Aphrodite huffed.

Artemis glared. "Silver looks wonderful on them."

The love goddess snorted. "Because you're anything but biased."

 **"Yes, yes we are Hime. Please use your inside voice," Naruto said as he walked into the kitchen, where Thalia fed Bolt while he sat in his high chair. "Okay, Hime, time to get down and get some food."**

 **"Okay Daddy! Morning Mommy!" Joan smiled as she slipped down from her father's back.**

 **"Morning, Joan." Thalia smiled at her daughter and then looked back at Bolt as she scooped up some of his breakfast as it slipped out of his mouth. "I put some bread in the toaster."**

 **"I'll get the fire extinguisher." Naruto chuckled while Thalia frowned at him.**

"Hide the muffins." Leo snickered.

"I can cook." Thalia frowned, she was a hit with her rabbit stew in the Hunt.

 **"I'm not that bad of a cook."**

 **"No, but you are accident-prone in the kitchen," Naruto said as he walked over and kissed her softly on the lips.**

 **"You're so lucky you're cute," Thalia mumbled when he pulled away.**

 **"I know," Naruto said with a smirk. He moved to the fridge and pulled out some eggs. He smiled at Thalia as he started to make breakfast. "I'm pretty sure the only thing you can make without risk of ever going wrong, is your heavenly Ramen."**

 **"Mommy's Ramen is the bestest!" Joan proclaimed with a stern nod.**

"Well, she's another daddy's girl." Hermes noted with a chuckle.

Jason looked to his sister. "Can I have 'bestest' ramen too?"

Thalia laughed dryly at his question. She then cuffed him upside the head and looked back at her book. "Smartass."

"Ow!"

 **She smiled at her brother. "Baby Bolt will agree when he has some too!"**

 **"Unlike you, missy, Bolt won't be having Ramen until he's got all his teeth in," Thalia said as she scooped up some more of Bolt's breakfast and fed him. Thalia smirked. "And his first full teeth meal will be a nice, juicy hamburger."**

Hera frowned at the blasphemy.

 **"I'm going to have to do some sort of quest for Hera before then," Naruto mumbled. He cracked the eggs into a pan. "Or ask Dad if I can have some beef from his cows."**

 **"I wanna visit Grampa!" Joan cried happily.**

Apollo pumped his fist. "Yes, they know me on a personal level!"

"I cry for the future," Artemis said gravely.

 **"No, no-no-no, we're going to Camp today, Joan." Thalia interjected quickly. "Remember? We're going to see Uncle Jason, Aunt Piper, Aunt Annie, and Mr. Chiron."**

"Mr. Brunner?"

"Mr. Chiron." Annabeth corrected Percy.

"I will never be able to call him Mister without Brunner following." Percy said, but frowned. "Why wasn't I included?"

Thalia shrugged innocently.

 **"And Uncle Leo?" Joan asked.**

 **Thalia frowned slightly while Naruto chuckled. "We'll see Uncle Leo and Uncle Nico, too."**

 **"Don't make promises like that," Thalia said softly.**

 **Naruto rolled his eyes. "Leo's engaged, he's not going to flirt again."**

 **"...I still don't want to talk to di Angelo."**

Nico looked at Thalia dryly. "Oh, what now you big baby?"

"I'm not a baby!"

"You're an immortal teenager." The son of Hades snipped. "That's a big baby, right there."

"…Burn." Leo's voice echoed throughout the room.

 **"He had to ban hamburgers to keep the deal with Olympus, Thalia," Naruto said.**

Thalia sent a thunderous glare at Nico.

The boy simply smirked. "Heh, that's a good one."

"Very much so," Hera said, sounding highly pleased.

Thalia mumbled curses under her breath before she continued reading.

 **He sighed sadly as he flipped the omelets he was making. "He also banned Ramen, so I feel your pain."**

"Truly a dagger to the heart." Reyna mused with a light chuckle.

 **"That was just financially brilliant," Thalia said with a smirk. She cleaned away some food on Bolt's face. "What about Jackson? Is he going to be at the reunion?"**

 **"Uncle Dork!" Joan crowed excitedly. "He's got a pretty pony!"**

"Naruto!" Percy raged before he groaned into his hand. Poor Blackjack, he hated being called pretty or a pony.

 **"Yes, Uncle Dork has a pretty pony," Naruto chuckled as he set an omelet on a plate and set it on the table in front of Joan. "I'm pretty sure if Annie's going, Jackson is going to be guaranteed to be there."**

 **"That's true." Thalia smiled in thanks as an omelet was set in front of her. "You shouldn't call Blackjack a pony, Joan."**

 **"But he's a pony. Like Zephy!" Joan said happily as she ate her omelet.**

 **"Point to the five year old," Naruto said from the sink as he washed the pan. He set the pan on the counter to dry and went to eat his breakfast. "Ten bucks says Annie and Piper are pregnant."**

"Damn you guys work fast." Leo whistled at the couples.

"Not now, Leo." Piper flushed.

"I demand godfather rights!"

Jason laughed. "Sure."

Leo grinned wildly.

 **"Twenty says Piper is and Annie's keeping it secret." Thalia smirked as she took a bite of her omelet. "Think the Zhangs will show up?"**

Hazel and Frank smiled at each other.

"This is so weird." Nico admitted.

"Hearing the some alternate future?" Frank asked.

"Yeah. You know, I always thought Annabeth would hyphenate her last name."

Annabeth hummed at this.

 **"If Reyna's still on her mission from Olympus? Nah, leave of pregnancy or not, Frank's duty comes first." Naruto chuckled. "Jupiter's still up and running, and a lot of old Roman blood refuses to move."**

 **"The Romans are dumb,"**

Reyna looked at Thalia and the other Romans did the same.

"I meant moving to someplace else where we're united." The Hunter explained quickly.

 **Thalia said as she tried to get Bolt to eat some more breakfast. "Come on sweetie, just a bit more."**

 **"I'm done! Daddy, can I go color?" Joan asked.**

 **Naruto looked at Thalia. "We have enough time, right?"**

 **"Send another pair of eyes to make sure she doesn't make a mess," Thalia said. She pouted at Bolt. "Come on, baby, just eat some more cereal. Yum, yum, yum. See? Mommy likes it." Thalia ate some of the cereal and made exaggerated pleased noises.**

 **Naruto made a clone that was quickly dragged off by Joan to go color. He finished his breakfast and cleaned up his and Joan's plates. "Lia, he's not going to eat anymore if he's full."**

 **"He's got your stomach, he doesn't get full. If I can get him to eat a bit more, maybe he'll sleep most of the day at Camp and not cry. You know how he gets when he leaves the house." Thalia pointed out as she tried to feed him again. "Come on, Bolt."**

 **"Thalia, you eat and I'll feed him." Naruto took the cereal and took a seat next to Bolt. He grinned at the boy and scooped up some cereal on the spoon. "Hey, buddy. I know you're hungry."**

 **Bolt stubbornly pulled away from the spoon and started to fuss. Naruto set the spoon in the cereal bowl and rubbed Bolt's head. "C'mon, buddy. Don't cry."**

 **"Is he sick? Should we call it off?" Thalia asked, concerned for Bolt's health.**

 **Naruto shook his head and pulled his hand away, smiling at his son as he started to snuffle. "No, he's not sick. Maybe he's teething?"**

"Quick, fetch him a nipple!" Hermes cried out in horror.

"On it!" Apollo stood and turned to the ladies. "Well?"

Artemis kicked him in the nards and he crumpled into a weak ball.

"My novas!"

"Serves you right." The goddess of maidens huffed.

 **"He could've bitten down on the spoon." Thalia took a bite of her omelet and looked over at her son when he started to fuss again. Both parents shared a look before they looked at Bolt. Thalia cut a small bit of her omelet away and stabbed it with her fork. She held it out to Bolt and he opened his mouth wide, eating the omelet happily.**

 **"Someone was jealous." Naruto chuckled as Thalia shared her omelet with Bolt. "He wants to be just like Mommy."**

"He's a big boy now." Percy sang.

"Only after he can pee and not miss." Annabeth corrected. Percy looked at her in confusion and she shrugged. "Little brothers."

"Oh, right."

 **"Better than being like his fool of a father," Thalia said. She smiled at her son. "Isn't that right, Bolt?"**

 **"You are so** ** _not_** **allowed to talk with my aunt." Naruto mumbled as he crossed his arms.**

"That's bad." Apollo wheezed as he climbed back onto his throne.

 **"I don't talk with your aunt," Thalia said. She continued to smile at Bolt as they shared an omelet. "I do talk with your mother."**

"Maybe worse." The sun god added with his hoarse voice, rubbing his soft spot before he put a bag of ice on it.

 **"...Figures." Naruto looked towards the front at a knock on the door. He patted Bolt on the head as he got up. "Don't let her fill your head up with crazy ideas. That's my job."**

 **"Daddy's so funny, huh?" Thalia asked as Bolt giggled. "Yes, and he likes sleeping on the couch, too."**

"Wow, you're evil," Percy said.

"Don't worry Percy, I'm sure you'll be sent there. A lot." Thalia smiled brilliantly at him.

Percy looked at Annabeth, clearly horrified. The blonde gave him a gaze that made him sweat a little.

 **"So cruel." Naruto mumbled as he walked to the front door. He opened the door to find a tall dark haired man with a small triangular beard on his chin. He was dressed in a relaxed shirt with his headband pinned to the sleeve and slacks. Naruto immediately tried to shut it. "Go away, Shikamaru. I'm off for two weeks!"**

 **The Jonin Commander kept his foot between the door and the doorway. "This is important, Naruto."**

 **"No, no-no-no-no-no, no. By the way, did I say no?" Naruto asked as he tried to keep the door shut. "Shikamaru, move your foot."**

 **"It's from the Rokudaime, Naruto."**

 **"I'm going to roast your foot if you don't move it," Naruto said with a frown.**

"I say stab the intruder!" Ares grinned. "Claim self-defense!"

"And how often does that work for you?" Athena asked.

"Not a lot, but that's just because everyone sees me as the bad guy. The nerve, right?"

Athena just palmed her face in annoyance.

 **"I say do it!" Thalia called from the kitchen.**

 **Naruto gave his old friend a light smirk. "You heard the lady."**

 **"Don't make me force you, Naruto." Shikamaru groaned.**

 **"You force me?" Naruto opened the door. "This is serious."**

 **"Naruto, I'm going to clean Bolt up." Thalia walked in with the baby on her hip. "If** ** _he's_** **not gone when I come down,** ** _you're_** **going to find out how comfortable the couch feels with a charred ass."**

Piper whistled. "You wear those pants, Thalia."

The Hunter buffed her nails on her jacket and smirked. "I try."

 **Naruto grimaced at the threat and looked back at Shikamaru. "Please tell me you're not asking me to do a mission for the village."**

 **"I'd be lying if I did that," Shikamaru said as clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulder in sympathy. "I feel your pain. Temari's more troublesome than usual since she saw Gaara again."**

 **"Thalia hasn't seen Jason since he and Piper got married,"**

"Yes!" Aphrodite squealed with glee while the two smiled at each other. "I bet it was spectacular~!"

 **Naruto said with a sigh. "They were on their honeymoon when Bolt was born."**

 **"They haven't visited in a year?" Shikamaru asked.**

 **Naruto shrugged. "They're young and in love–"**

 **"I don't really care."**

 **"Well you should, because Thalia will only char my ass after she's obliterated yours." Naruto pointed out.**

 **Shikamaru swallowed and shivered. "...Right. Troublesome women."**

 **"Don't let Thalia hear you say that." Naruto crossed his arms. "What's the mission?"**

 **"Observe and report. Here's the details." Shikamaru pulled a folder from under his arm and held it out. "Have a nice day."**

"Someone's nervous." Athena frowned.

"I believe its ninja paranoia." Reyna frowned.

 **"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it there, bud." Naruto stopped the high-ranking shinobi with a hand on his shoulder. His eyes didn't leave the top page of the folder. "You do know what you're asking."**

 **"Hokage's asking. I told him to not bother with it. Turn the page and you'll see why," Shikamaru said.**

 **Naruto flipped the page and let out a loud groan. "I hate politics...When I'm Hokage, remind me to fire those old bats."**

"I bet they want to spy on us." Hermes snorted.

Apollo frowned. "It sounds like something those raisins would do."

 **"I'm pretty sure that's the only reason the Rokudaime hasn't fired them yet, so you get the pleasure," Shikamaru said. He looked up to the stairs. "Mind letting me go so our wives don't try to kill each other later?"**

 **"Good call." Naruto nodded and released the jonin. Shikamaru vanished in a flicker, just as Joan came down the stairs and slammed into Naruto's leg. "Daddy, you poofed!"**

"And this is why you don't fart in front of your kids." Leo shook his head.

"If you did, you might start a fire." Piper smirked at him.

"I ate those beans one time!" Leo raised his finger and glared at the charmspeaker. "One time and you never let it go!"

"Hm, yep!"

 **Naruto shut the folder and smiled down at her. "I did? Then how am I right here?"**

 **"Not you, Daddy, other you!" Joan said.**

 **"Ohh! Well, why'd he go do something like that?" Naruto asked as he crouched down and picked Joan up. Her arms encircled his neck and he smiled at her. "Maybe it had something to do with...you throwing crayons when he said to clean up?"**

 **"I was cleaning..."**

"And that's the perfect excuse. Like this one time Jason decided to clean a stapler." Thalia grinned.

"Are you always going to hold that over my head?" Jason frowned to his sister.

"It's the best ammo I have."

 **"You were throwing crayons," Naruto said, giving her a look. "You know better than to throw your toys, Hime."**

 **"I didn't mean to...Daddy said to toss him the colors I was done with." Joan frowned.**

 **Naruto grimaced. Stupid clones, they meant well, but they forgot certain rules from time to time. Well, forgot was being generous. They liked to 'ignore' rules Naruto kept in mind.**

 **"Next time, Hime, remind Daddy that Mommy doesn't like it when you throw things," Naruto said as he gave Joan a kiss on the cheek. He dropped the file in the hearth of the fireplace and snapped his fingers, igniting the file. Joan giggled at the sight of her father performing 'magic' and Naruto grinned at her. "Don't tell Mr. Nara that Daddy burned his file."**

 **"Okay, Daddy."**

 **Naruto kissed Joan again and grinned at her. "That's my girl."**

"Ah, parental bonding over arson. Nothing sweeter than that." Ares smiled and looked to Zeus. "How come we never do that?"

"I like the world at peace."

"Damn you got boring." Ares muttered.

 **"I wanna ride Zephy!" Joan pouted as her mother buckled her into a car seat. Next to her, peacefully talking to his stuffed fox in his baby carrier car seat, Bolt's head tilted to the side and he stared at his sister. Joan pointed at him. "See? Bolt wants to ride Zephy too!"**

"She is so adorable." Piper bit back a squeal.

Jason pouted and looked at his sister.

"No." Thalia glared back at him.

"I want to be an uncle," Jason said.

"Not happening, Jason."

 **"No, Joan." Thalia sighed as she adjusted the padded seatbelt to correctly cover her daughter's chest. She looked at the lifted hood, where behind it, Naruto was double-checking Soul's engine. The classic challenger hadn't rusted or been damaged in any way since Naruto hid it in a cave outside of the Land of Waves. Something about a seal that she didn't understand.**

 **Joan pouted further and crossed her arms unhappily. Thalia finished adjusting the seatbelt and lightly pinched the tip of her daughter's nose. Joan cracked a smile and Thalia smiled back at her. "Be good and you can choose the music."**

 **Joan brightened at the prospect. "Can we listen to my tape, Mommy?"**

"The wheels on the bus go round and-"

"Never!" Thalia stopped Apollo with a heated growl. If she ever did have a kid –though it was extremely unlikely that she would– she would _never_ listen to that terrible music.

 **"Be good and keep Bolt quiet." Thalia reiterated. Thalia closed Joan's door and looked over at Naruto as he put the hood down. "We ready to go?"**

 **"It all looks good on this end. Seatbelts adjusted?" Naruto asked as he went to the driver's side and got in the car. Thalia got into the passenger seat and put her seatbelt on, with Naruto doing the same.**

 **When a car could go as fast as the speed of light and then stop on a dime, seatbelts were a must.**

 **"Adjusted and Bolt's pillow is in place," Thalia said. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at her children. "Comfy?"**

 **"Yes, Mommy! Can we listen to music, now?" Joan asked with a pout.**

 **Naruto chuckled and started the car. The engine roared to life and Bolt let out an excited giggle. Thalia glowered at Naruto, who smiled innocently.**

 **"He got that from you."**

"Nonsense!" Apollo scoffed. "All guys like cars."

All of the guys, save for Nico and Jason, nodded in agreement with him.

"I don't know cars." Jason admitted.

Nico snorted. "I don't care. I can shadow travel."

"…We need to fix this!" Apollo cried out in alarm.

"Maybe later," Thalia said. She'd rather read of her other's rather happy life.

 **"What? It's not my fault he likes listening to the Fuzzball's purrs."**

 **"Just drive, Whiskers." Thalia shook her head and activated the dashboard. Thalia flipped through the music selections on the touch screen and hit the one that was labeled** ** _Joan's Songs_** **.**

 **Naruto nodded his head as a bubbly pop version of the Little Mermaid's "Under The Sea" came on.**

"No, no!" Thalia protested.

"I like it." Percy grinned, which earned him a glare from Thalia.

"You would, pop-lover."

Hades looked at Poseidon with a grin on his face. "Under the sea, under the sea~"

"Enough," Poseidon said gruffly. The lord of the underworld chuckled.

 **Thalia sighed and grabbed some ear buds that would cancel the kid song out, how her husband could stand it, she didn't know. It had to be from Apollo. That was the only explanation she could think of.**

 **With a glance in the mirror, Thalia smiled as Joan sang along with her father, who was drumming on the wheel as he sped off over the ocean. Even Bolt seemed to be clapping in time with the drivel that came from the radio. Thalia shook her head again and listened to her personal music, wondering just what was wrong with her family.**

 **Again, she attributed it to Apollo's genes.**

Apollo glanced at Thalia.

"I'm not wrong." Thalia retorted without meeting his gaze.

 **Thalia pulled the ear buds out when the song ended and a song she didn't know was on the playlist started.**

 **"A mouse catched, a mouse catched, if you only gots a mouse catched!" Joan sang the words incorrectly as the Moustache Song played.**

"Make the adorable stop!" Hazel giggled out.

Piper held back her coos. "I don't think that will ever happen."

"I'm with Jason. You need to have a kid, Thalia," Annabeth said with a smile. "They are adorable."

"Tch, yeah, then they become teenagers," Thalia said with a scowl.

 **Bolt giggled and clapped with his sister out of tune.**

 **"What...is** ** _this_** **doing on her list?" Thalia asked her husband with a small glare. The film this song came from was absolutely** ** _not_** **to be shown to her children. Stupid Seth MacFarlane and his immature adult humor, he was turning her husband into a teenager again. Then again, it probably wasn't entirely MacFarlane's fault. Apollo was somehow behind this. He was behind everything bad on television.**

"That's stereotyping! And that's Janus' fault more than mine."

"Not true," Artemis said dryly.

 **Naruto shifted. "She...may have run into my office when I was on break and searching the web."**

 **"Searching the web for what,** ** _exactly_** **?" Thalia's eyes narrowed.**

 **Naruto glanced at her. "Really? Don't you trust me?"**

 **"Well, there was this thing where you didn't tell me my brother was alive," Thalia said nonchalantly.**

 **"Oh, that so does not count anymore! That was years ago!"**

"Ah, the arguing, classic." Hera sighed. "I feel sorry for Naruto."

Thalia bit back her scathing retort of what she thought of Hera's marriage. Even with Artemis and her dad present to protect her now, it might not save her down the line.

 **"The point still stands."**

 **Naruto grimaced. "I was bored and surfing YouTube. It came on after I was watching old Robot Chicken sketches..."**

 **"And she didn't see any of those?"**

 **"Well...maybe "Weasel Stomping Day"...But that one's just like a cartoon music video."**

 **Thalia rubbed her eyes as Joan continued to sing about catching mice. Naruto glanced at her with a small smile.**

 **"C'mon," he said. "You gotta admit, a mouse catched is a very exciting gift to receive."**

 **Thalia thought about it for a moment and smiled. "Yeah, the Pied Piper loves her mice."**

 **Naruto snorted at the Halloween get together a few years back. Piper had dressed up as the Pied Piper while she somehow convinced Jason to go as a mouse.**

Leo rolled out of his seat, holding his sides as he laughed uncontrollably while Jason looked red in the face. Piper on the other hand looked intrigued. She rubbed her chin as she eyed Jason.

"Oh Jason~!"

"Never." Jason told her.

Piper just flashed a charming smile to her boyfriend. "Never say never to a Charmspeaker, sweetie."

Aphrodite beamed proudly at her daughter when the son of Jupiter let out a whimper.

 **Naruto never discovered if Piper charmed Jason into it or if Jason willingly dressed as the mouse,**

"I wouldn't!"

"So you say," Piper said with a smirk.

 **but either way they rightfully earned that award for Best Costumed Couple. There was a framed photo of them on the wall back home, with Piper holding her flute in the air while she grabbed Jason's butt, though that part was hidden, but the memory remained.**

"She does seem like a pincher." Jason gave Leo a tired glare, which made the mechanic smile. "Don't deny it, dude."

 **It was also the year they discovered that Piper McLean was a lightweight.**

 **"Ah...Good times." Naruto smiled as the song came to an end and Thalia blocked out the next one with her headphones. Honestly, what did she have against The Lion King's "Hakuna Matata?"**

"Everything." Thalia muttered.

"You have no soul." Percy accused.

 **The trip to Camp Olympia wasn't as long as it used to be. Naruto really had to hand it to the children and legacies of the smith god, they were top of their line when they worked together. He put Sol in park and got out of the car along with Thalia. Both went to the respective child seated behind them and Naruto grinned as he picked Bolt up in his arms.**

 **"Hey, bud, time to wake up." Naruto urged the drowsy legacy of Apollo. He chuckled as Bolt let out a large yawn, but stubbornly refused to wake up. Bolt, like his mother, did not like to be roused from his sleep.**

"She gets cranky and usually zaps someone." Annabeth gave Thalia a mild glare.

"Oh, it was one time."

"I was seven! It hurt a lot!"

"Builds character?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes at the lame excuse.

Thalia grumbled. "You were so much cuter and more tolerable as a kid."

 **"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy look!" Joan excitedly grabbed onto her father's leg and pointed at the giant slab of earth that floated above the geographic center of the United States. Golden chains with links that were as large as the car they rode in kept the slab anchored to the planet while Olympians' power kept the slab invisible as well as afloat.**

"Okay…that's cool." Nico whistled.

 **"Yes, Hime, I can see that," Naruto said as he handed Bolt to Thalia. He picked Joan up under her arms and settled her on his hip. With a smile on his face, Naruto looked at his wife. "Ready?"**

 **"Just teleport us already," Thalia said with a grunt. She was still not okay with heights, and Camp Olympia's position always sort of irked her.**

 **Naruto used his free hand to intertwine with Thalia's before he looked up at the floating island that was Camp Jupiter. "Hiraishin!"**

 **The family of four vanished away from their car in a golden flash and reappeared at the massive gates of Camp Olympia, marked with a large golden omega on the oak gates.**

 **"C'mon, let's get away from the edge before we fall off," Thalia said with a frown at the thought. Naruto complied, but shook his head. Maybe he should've done something about her phobia when he was younger. Probably not, he already caused his wife a lot of pain.**

"Yeah, I gave birth. Twice!" Thalia complained.

 **As they walked through the slightly opened gates, Joan suddenly squealed and waved behind Naruto, which prompted him and Thalia to stop and turn around just to see another group appear in a dimmed white flash. They probably used the seal created at the geographic marker. The couple was familiar and Naruto grinned at them. He set Joan down and let her run over to them, nearly bowling over the blond man as she jumped into his stomach.**

Jason and Piper smiled at each other.

 **"Uncle Jay!" Joan's happy voice traveled to them. Thalia's lips quirked into a smirk as Jason carried the giggling Joan over his shoulder back to them and Piper continued to giggle at her husband's misfortune.**

 **"Thalia, Naruto, it seems you've declared war." Jason drawled. He shifted his arm and Joan let out a squeal. "Be aware, that this missile was a dud and we can begin peace negotiations anytime you see fit."**

"Children missiles, hm…" Ares hummed with much intrigue.

"Never." Hestia warned him, which got the war god to pout. It was a brilliant idea!

 **"Alright. We accept your surrender," Naruto said with a grin.**

 **"That's not the negotiation," Jason said dryly. He grunted as Joan plucked a hair from his head. "Joan! That hurt!"**

 **"Suwender, Uncle Jay!" Joan declared with a laugh. "Suwender!"**

"Jason, fear for the terrible spawn of Thalia has you at her vicious little mercy." Percy laughed as Thalia hit his shin. "Ow!"

"Terrible spawn?" Thalia asked with a glare aimed at her cousin.

"Being dramatic here."

"You suck at it. Stop."

 **"Piper don't laugh, do something!" Jason grunted as his hair came under attack.**

 **Piper, who looked radiant as usual with long hair and feathers braided into a lock in front of her left ear, giggled as she nudged him. "Better 'suwender' Jason. Even I can't charm a wild child. Especially if she came from these two."**

"She can't handle all this either." Leo grinned, flexing his arm and kissing his bicep. "Can't charm this wild thing."

Piper narrowed her eyes with a frown. "Oh, we'll see."

 **"Those are fighting words," Thalia said with a frown. She smiled though. "Can't wait to see how you'll handle parenthood with a kid that can fart lightning."**

Piper looked at Jason. "You can be pretty loud down there."

"Piper!" The blond hissed with a flush on his face.

 **"Prepare to buy lots of rubber gloves, Pipes." Naruto advised, which made the girl laugh. Once Naruto got Joan back, he and Jason shook hands while Piper and Thalia hugged in greeting. Naruto gave Piper a quick hug as Thalia gave her giant of a little brother a tight one-armed hug and introduced him to his new nephew, who looked up at Jason in the usual fascinated awe babies had when they met someone new.**

 **"He's so cute," Piper said with a smile as she gently rubbed Bolt's whiskered cheek with a finger. "What's his name?"**

 **"Boruto Uzumaki." Thalia ignored the proud grin that crossed Naruto's face. "We call him Bolt, though."**

 **"Isn't that kind of a bad name?" Jason asked. He grunted when Piper elbowed him in the side. "Ow, what?"**

"At least he has someone to keep him in line. If not, he might end up like Percy," Thalia said.

"I'm not that bad." Percy argued.

"Uh, yeah you are. And I refuse to have my sweet, innocent, little brother act like you." Thalia sniffed.

"Sweet and innocent?" Leo asked, looking at Jason as he pointed his thumb at Thalia. "You believe any of that?"

"Nope."

 **"I think it's cute." Piper argued and smiled down at the baby. "He's got Thalia's eyes."**

 **"Don't fall in love with him for it," Naruto teased, since Bolt, Thalia and Jason shared the same eyes and Piper admitted to liking Jason's eyes the most. He relaxed and adjusted Joan on his hip. "So, you two lovebirds have fun on your year away from everyone?"**

 **Piper grinned lightly and put her hand over her stomach, which looked like it had a small bump now that she pressed down on her shirt. "You could say that."**

Aphrodite squealed in happiness while the couple flushed and gave each other shy looks.

"Huh, I'm an aunt," Thalia said in surprise. She wondered when it might really happen and her eyes narrowed as she looked at her brother and his girlfriend. "That better not happen soon though, or else."

"Thalia!" Jason exclaimed while Piper choked on air.

 **"Congratulations! But so soon?" Thalia asked. "You've guys have only been married a year."**

 **"At least we managed to wait that long," Jason said with a smirk that got him a punch in the arm from his sister.**

 **"Shut it, Gigantor."**

 **"Still though, congrats Pipes!" The whiskered shinobi smiled at one of his pseudo sisters as she smiled back. Naruto gained a serious look and directed it at Piper. "Pray that the worst they can do is make hurricanes with their tears. Getting shocked by your child is not fun. Have lots of rubber gloves on standby. Especially on diaper duty!" He glowered at Joan, who tried to make him smile with her hands. "And** ** _don't_** **let them watch an anime called Beelzebub."**

 **"Baby Bolt zaps Daddy like Baby Beel!" Joan smiled happily. "I teached him to!"**

"That's just not fair." Piper paled as she thought about the future pain.

Jason patted her shoulder. "I'll change the diapers."

"Good, cause I'm not. Ever." Leo nodded to the couple, which caused them to give him dry looks. "Or maybe invent an automatic rubber diaper changer device."

"You will not put any child of mine into some crazy machine Leo!"

The son of fire crossed his arms and huffed. "Well, now I just won't make it. So if you get shocked, don't blame me, Beauty Queen."

 **"Noted." Piper giggled as Naruto gained a haunted look in his eye. She looked at Jason. "Well, if he does become a zapper, then daddy will just be on diaper duty all the time."**

 **Jason shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that."**

 **"You say that now!" Naruto quickly pounced as he glowered at the younger blond. "But when the storm comes...every day..." Naruto shuddered and looked at Thalia. "By the way, what did Bolt eat yesterday? Because this morning was something out of H. P. Lovecraft."**

 **"Was it his first bowl of Ramen?" Jason asked. Naruto looked horrified at the notion. Ramen wasn't evil! It would never punish him with a horrible BM like that!**

 **"Ramen?! Mommy can I have some ramen?" Joan asked eagerly.**

 **"No Joan, we're not having Ramen. And Bolt's not on real solids yet," Thalia said as she handed Bolt over to Jason while Joan pouted. "Here, hold this."**

 **"Uh, wait! Why?" Jason asked nervously. He hardly held Joan when she was younger than one. He felt like he was going to crush Bolt.**

"I'm not ready to be a father!" Nico cried out, his voice deeper to imitate Jason.

"I can be," the son of Jupiter said.

"Dude, you'll freak out. You're the type to."

Jason frowned, he was not.

 **"Practice," Naruto said wisely. He looked at his pouting daughter and bounced her lightly. "Hey, cheer up Hime. Tell you what, at lunch time Daddy will take you to get some Ramen."**

 **"Yay!"**

 **"Naruto, don't bribe her like that," Thalia said with a frown as she searched in the baby bag for something. She smirked and whipped out a camera, used to quickly fire a shot of a nervous Jason holding Bolt. "There, only a year late."**

 **"I want one of those," Piper said as Thalia took Bolt back by an all too eager Jason. Piper looked at him in amusement. "Seriously, you need to get used to holding infants. You're going to have one, soon."**

 **"Honestly, Jay," Naruto added with a disappointed shake of his head that Joan copied. "What are we going to do with you?"**

"Even Joan is picking on me?" Jason pouted. "Maybe Percy is onto something about Apoluto."

"Thank you, bro."

"No problem, bro."

"Ahem." Thalia cleared her throat to obtain their attention. "Save the bromance for later, boys."

 **"Like you were any better." Jason mumbled as he crossed his arms.**

 **"I've been taking care of babies since I was twelve, it's a common D-rank." Naruto pointed at Joan. "Just be grateful you don't have the Uzumaki genetics in your family pool. This one was trying to walk by the time she was five months."**

"That's quite advanced for a baby." Athena noted with an interested look on her face. "Perhaps something to do with her Shinobi genetics?"

"Or just Naruto's," Annabeth said.

"Yes, but the ninja have shown to be advanced in body from young ages. Like that Kakashi fellow."

 **"Bolt's thankfully not as adventurous," Thalia said with a smile to her baby.**

 **"Yet." Naruto added under his breath.**

 **"What was that?" Thalia asked.**

 **"Nothing, Lia."**

 **Thalia narrowed her eyes at the innocent smile her husband gained. "I'm sure it was just the wind."**

 **Naruto shrugged. "Probably. Maybe Joan farted again."**

Leo sniggered. "Best excuse for that one."

"I think Thalia is more likely to do that," Jason said. He grunted when a pretzel hit him in the cheek and glared at his sister, who had her eyes on the pages of the book.

 **"Ew! Daddy!" Joan giggled.**

 **"What?" Naruto looked at her with a smirk. "Gonna deny it?"**

 **"Ladies don't fart!" Joan argued despite her giggles.**

"That's a lie!" Hermes declared and he pointed at Athena. "She's tooted her horn on some occasions."

Athena looked murderous. "I have done no such thing!"

A toot noise was made and the goddess looked at Apollo, who had a horn in hand. "What?"

Artemis sent Athena a look of pity, but at least this time it wasn't her that was the target for their fun.

 **Piper smirked. "She's got a point there, Naruto."**

 **Naruto poked Joan in the stomach. "You, my little hime, are not a lady. You're an Uzumaki! Uzumaki fart** ** _all_** **the time."**

 **There was a soft toot and Bolt shifted in his mother's arms slightly with a relieved smile on his face.**

"Oh that's just adorable," Hazel said with a wide smile.

"And smelly." Frank guessed.

"But look at his widdle face!" The golden-eyed girl cooed.

"I should make gas masks." Leo mussed to himself.

 **Thalia gave her husband a dry look, as if it was his fault that Bolt chose that moment to fart loud enough to be heard. Naruto ignored it and looked back at his snickering daughter.**

 **"See? Bolt knows what's on the hap-hap," Naruto said with a nod.**

 **Piper arched a brow. "The 'hap-hap'? That sounds like something Leo would say.**

Leo nodded. "I completely agree with this."

 **Speaking of, have you guys seen him yet?"**

 **"Considering they just got here like we did, I'm going to go with no," Jason said. He looped his arm around Piper's shoulders and grinned at his sister. "We're going to go find the pyro and meet you in the square for dinner?"**

 **"Sure, it'll be like old times," Thalia said with a smile. "Just, you know, without Titans or monsters trying to kill us."**

 **The two families parted after Joan got a hug from her auntie and uncle. Naruto and Thalia took their kids to meet with other members of Naruto's extended family. They ran into a few of his younger half-siblings and cousins, Roman aunts and uncles that were delighted to see the founder of Camp Olympia again. They ran into Lee and Katie, the daughter of Demeter showing a bump of her own under her green dress while Lee was dressed in his own white and gold getup that most of Apollo's Cabin had donned after the end of the Second Titanomachy.**

Demeter looked visibly uncomfortable with this while Apollo beamed.

Hades chuckled at his sister's dismay over loosing another one of her 'babies'.

 **Then they ran into, with much surprise on their faces, the Rokudaime. Kakashi had to quickly shush the excited Joan, who was so glad to see her Kyofu (Godfather),**

"Oh, so that's who the godfather is," Annabeth said with a nod. "Smart."

"And stylish!" Aphrodite said with a smile.

Percy pouted. "What does that make me?"

"Step-godfather?" Frank guessed with a shrug.

 **before he was exposed. He wasn't exactly supposed to be away from the village without guard, but then again, he did leave a clone to deal with everything that morning. That, and his fellow children of Aphrodite would undoubtedly try to – shudder – restyle his Hokage attire.**

"Not the epically cool flame motif!" Leo gasped in mock horror.

"It could look better," Aphrodite said, rubbing her chin in thought.

 **It was shortly after that encounter that the family encountered the most tired looking couple they had seen. The elation and relief that crossed the eyes of Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase-Jackson**

"Called it!" Nico smirked.

"Huh, he did." Percy said and looked a bit torn, but hey, he and Annabeth hitched up. That was still good in his books.

 **made Naruto laugh as he released his elated daughter to launch into them.**

 **"Auntie Annie!" Joan cheered as the young and already famous architect caught her. Joan wrapped her arms around Annabeth's neck and gave her a hug. "I missed you!"**

 **"Aw, I missed you, too, Joanie." Annabeth returned with a smile. Her long hair was pulled back into her signature ponytail and her grey eyes sparkled as she looked at her pseudo niece/goddaughter.**

 **Joan's attention turned to the slightly taller man with shaggy dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard that looked like his father's.**

Annabeth frowned at Percy. "No beard for you."

"But I look _so_ cool!" Percy protested while Poseidon beamed.

"No."

"But-"

"No." Annabeth silenced him with a kiss.

Percy had a goofy smile on his face when she pulled away. "Okay."

 **The daughter of Naruto Uzumaki beamed at him and waved. "Hiya Uncle Dork!"**

Percy's eye twitched and the goofy smile became a frown.

"Apoluto!" Frank exclaimed before Percy could react. He looked to Percy. "Like that?"

"It's got to come more from your abdomen."

"Got it."

 **Percy's grin fell slightly and he glowered at Thalia and Naruto, green eyes glistened with annoyance. "Really? I thought that was a onetime thing?"**

 **"I thought it was impossible for a son of Poseidon to fall off of a boat." Naruto returned good-naturedly.**

 **"You told** ** _him_** **!? Annabeth..." Percy groaned. It was an accident, someone had shoved him over and he had specified that to everyone who'd been mentioning it for the past three days. There was even photographic evidence of the act before and after. If it weren't for the fact they were all college students that were** ** _very_** **keen at observation, Percy would've simply jumped off of the surface of the water before anyone could have taken notice.**

 **Annabeth shrugged and continued to smile at her goddaughter. "I only told Thalia. She told Naruto."**

"Well, of course one would tell the other!" Percy threw his hands into the air.

"It is kind of funny, Percy." Poseidon chuckled.

"But-but the mortals!" the son of the sea stammered.

"You really need to stay afloat in life, Percy." Reyna smiled at her joke.

"…That was in poor taste."

 **"It had to be said." Thalia smirked as she walked up and offered her son. "Want this one?"**

 **"Gladly!" Annabeth excitedly swapped out to hold the baby.**

 **Naruto gave Percy an amused look as the dark haired man took Joan from Thalia and set her with ease on his hip. Percy made a face at Naruto and then started to try to convince Joan to A) Not call him 'Uncle Dork' and B) No, he couldn't call Blackjack over to give her a ride. It was a losing battle.**

"The power of cute children has no limit." Hazel nodded.

 **"Daddy, I wanna ride the ponies but Uncle Dork won't let me!" Joan pouted.**

 **Naruto shrugged. "Sorry, Hime, but I'm with Uncle Dork on this one."**

 **"Do you** ** _really_** **have to encourage that name?" Percy asked.**

 **"Well of all the 'D' words we could've chosen, I'd like to think we went with the most 'G' rated of them all," Naruto said with a shrug. "After all, not every son of Poseidon falls off of a ship."**

 **"Oh, for the love of-I was pushed and there were too many mortals around!" Percy argued.**

 **"Uh-huh, whatever helps you float your boat, Percy," Naruto said with a grin. He laughed while Percy's eye twitched.**

 **"Hey, Uncle Dork, you look like Kibble Breath when he and Daddy are talking!" Joan pointed out happily.**

"Isn't that the furry?" Leo asked.

"He's not a furry, Leo." Frank corrected. "He's more dog themed."

"Dude, just because you two have something in common doesn't mean he's not a furry."

"…I'm not a furry." Frank glared.

"Whatever, Fuzzy Wuzzy."

 **"Kibble Breath?" Percy asked.**

 **"Kiba." Naruto added helpfully. He grunted when Thalia stomped on his foot. "Ow."**

 **"What have I told you about letting Joan using nicknames for people?" Thalia asked him sternly.**

 **"Um, not to?"**

 **"Yes!" Thalia crossed her arms. "So why is she?"**

 **"Uh...because I'm an idiot?" Naruto asked.**

 **Thalia frowned at him and sighed. "Well, at least you admit it."**

 **"Is that supposed to mean something?" Percy asked.**

 **"Hush, Percy," Annabeth said as she absentmindedly cooed at Bolt. The happy mini-clone of Naruto was enthralled with a toy owl she had pulled out. "Just give Joanie her gift."**

 **"Oh, right," Percy said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a stuffed horse. "Here Joan."**

 **"Yay! Pony!" Joan squealed as she snatched the toy from him.**

Hazel smiled. "All girls love ponies."

"I don't." Thalia grunted.

The daughter of Pluto frowned and muttered. "There's something wrong with you."

 **"Joan..." Thalia frowned at her daughter. "What do you say?"**

 **"Thank you Uncle Dork!"**

 **Percy sighed. "That's as good as I'm going to get, isn't it?"**

"Knowing this story, yeah." Percy muttered with a frown on his face.

 **"Probably." Thalia, Naruto and Annabeth agreed.**

 **The group hung out, exchanged stories, and ate lunch when the time came for it. Around dinnertime, they met up with Leo, Jason and Piper. Leo showed them pictures of his latest projects and his engagement ring – "She got it for me to keep the young hotties off of this stud muffin."**

 **Overall it was a good evening and it only got better once Will walked over to steal Naruto away.**

"What sort of amazing twist will happen next?!" Apollo mock gasped.

 **Naruto walked up to the microphone on stage after he gave Lee and Will brotherly hugs. He was told this was going to happen a week before they left and had been waiting for it. Naruto grabbed the microphone and cleared his throat.**

 **"We were gathered here to celebrate the birth of Olympus' newest god, the daughter of Apollo and first Greek goddess of the Sun, Hikari."**

"Boom shaka laka!" Apollo cheered wildly.

"Well, that's certainly new." Hera blinked in surprise. "I suppose with Kushina he finally had a godly child of his own siring. I continue to be impressed by the woman."

"Finally a new goddess to meet." Aphrodite grinned widely as she plotted.

"I fear for the girl already." Artemis told Athena, she hoped the other Aphrodite didn't corrupt her.

"I share your concerns, sister."

 **The children and legacies of the sun god in the crowd let out a cheer at his words, and Naruto settled them with a raised hand. "I know, I know! Like with all of my brothers and sisters, I am thrilled to have a new member of our large family! We've heard songs dedicated to her, to the merriment of my mother and father's marriage, to the other gods, and to the continuation of Olympus itself."**

 **The audience clapped and Naruto quieted them again.**

 **"However, this song is dedicated to the next generation, who Hikari will rule over. The kings and queens of mankind, those who will come in the future and our legacies." Naruto smiled as he looked over at his gathered family, by blood or by bonds, and then looked at Lee. Lee grinned back and began to softly pick at his guitar strings.**

 **Naruto calmly held the microphone and closed his eyes. "Hope when you take that jump, you don't fear the fall. Hope when the water rises, you built a wall."**

Annabeth looked at Percy. "Hm, I might have to do that with you."

"Depends on the tides." The son of Poseidon told her.

 **Will started to drum lightly in the back and the curtain behind them spread to reveal a screen. The screen started to show stills of various campers before and after the Titanomachy. One showed Percy Jackson lifted into the air by various campers after Kronos' defeat,**

"That was a photo-op day." Percy chuckled.

"I know!" Nico groaned. "Everyone kept pulling me into pictures."

"You did look bored in them." Thalia teased.

"Duh."

 **the next showed Jason after he had toppled Kronos' throne.**

"Did you get a medal for that one?" Piper asked her boyfriend.

"Yep." Jason grinned.

 **"Hope when the crowd screams out, they're screaming your name." Naruto sang gently as an image of him after he defeated Obito came on the screen.**

 **A flash of the Neo Argonauts appeared on the screen. The eight heroes were seated at a table in the mess hall. A large balloon-like robot set a steaming bowl of noodles down in front of Naruto, who laughed at something Mark said from where he was seated across from him, while the son of Ares was shoved by the daughter of Ceres Leila. Silena and Beckendorf were sitting next to each other, the daughter of love with her arm tightly wrapped around Beckendorf's as they smiled at the camera. Across from them, Hazel and Frank were discussing something with Malcolm.**

"So we had an entire ops team? That's interesting." Frank smiled as Hazel winked at him.

"And together too, just like it's supposed to be."

 **"Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay." Naruto's voice was soft, but it had entranced all who watched. An image of Leo defending the Brooklyn Bridge from Kronos' forces came on the screen.**

"Fire! Fire! Burn!" Leo cackled as his eyebrows lit up in flames.

"Hey, Leo! Cut it out." Frank exclaimed.

"Whoops, sorry. I light up when I get excited."

Apollo nodded. "I know the feeling."

 **The screen began to flash through something out of Aphrodite's scrap book of top demigod couples.**

"She has that." The gods said in a dull tone, some looked annoyed and others tired.

"I swear, none of you appreciate it!" The love goddess huffed.

 **Annabeth and Percy sharing a moment on the beach. Piper and Jason sitting under the stars. Frank and Hazel cleaning a cohort. Silena and Beckendorf watching fireworks. The final one showed Naruto and Thalia sitting on the hood of his car watching a drive-in movie.**

"The one where you can make-out?" Percy asked, but paused. "Wait, they still have those?"

"Uh, duh." Apollo told him with a perfect Dionysus voice. The god he mimicked glared at the sun god for doing so.

"What is this? The seventies?"

 **"Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad." Naruto continued as his emotions began to reach the audience. "The only way you can know is give it all you have!"**

 **The screen switched to Leo riding his happy bronze dragon and the image turned into a film. Leo thrust his fist in the air and cheered, which made Naruto chuckle.**

 **"And I hope that you don't suffer, but take the pain..." A visual of Naruto and Killer Bee bumping fists came on the screen. The music came to a still as Naruto's eyes opened. "Hope when the moment comes you'll say..."**

 **He and his brothers took in light breaths before they proclaimed: "I, I did it all! I, I did it all-l-l." Naruto nodded his head as videos of the demigods training passed by, particularly a moment where Percy disarmed Luke on his first day. "I owned every second that this world could give!"**

 **The screen showed a young Jason on a train as it passed into another state. The image dissolved as Jason looked out his window to a video of a young Piper looking at a camera and smiling after she looked out of an airplane. "I saw so many places, the things that I did!"**

 **The video went to Frank falling off his bike as a young boy,**

"That's because he was so fat," Ares said while his Roman son frowned.

Hera looked at him. "Must you ruin everything?"

"It's on my business card, see?" Ares asked, holding up the card.

Athena read it with an arched brow and a smirk. "You are an official pansy?"

"What?!" Ares flipped it around and glowered. He glared at Apollo. "The hell!?"

"I outsourced." Apollo shrugged as he pointed to Hermes.

"Same." The messenger god said.

"To who?"

Hephaestus chuckled.

 **but stubbornly getting back on despite the deep scrape he got. Then an image of a young Naruto as he exploded from the ground and delivered an uppercut to a young Neji went on the screen, his fist bleeding from digging with his bare hands.**

"Okay, that's an epic way to win." Percy whistled.

Annabeth looked unsure. "Unorthodox and kind of extreme too..."

"Flashy and eye-drawing." Artemis sighed. "It's the way Apollo would do it."

"You know it!" Apollo cheered with a grin.

 **"With every broken bone, I swear I lived." Naruto ended softly before he and his brothers started to vocalize. The screen shifted to Leo and Piper sharing a laugh after they participated in tug of war against each other.**

 **"Hope that you spend your days, but they all add up." Naruto smiled as the crowd began to cheer. The screen showed side by side moments of Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood toasting to the Olympians. "And when that sun goes down, hope you raise your cup!"**

"Now that's a sight. One that could not come sooner." Reyna said to her friends, who smiled back at her.

 **The video then switched back to stills and showed baby pictures of several campers. The Stolls as young boys had candy in their mouths that was not theirs, Dionysus' twins playing in a garden, Artemis' Hunters cleaning their campsite (that picture was donated by Apollo and edited by Will), and finally showed Hazel riding a horse with a lookalike Leo. The next picture was of a baby Jason in Thalia's arms the young daughter of Zeus had a nervous smile on her face as she held the baby; after that switched to an** ** _old_** **picture of Bianca and Nico di Angelo in Italy,**

Nico scratched the back of his head. "Where is he getting all of these?"

 **and following that was a picture of a** ** _very_** **young Percy Jackson in the bathtub.**

"Mom why!" Percy cried out in horror.

"So, bubbles?" Annabeth teased.

Percy looked embarrassed as his friends chuckled at him.

 **"Oh, I wish that I could witness all your joy and all your pain." Naruto sighed. "But until my moment comes, I'll say..."**

 **"I, I did it all!" Will and Lee sang along with him. Lee moved to the edge of the stage and called for the audience to sing along. As usual, when prompted to do something by an entertainer, the loyal audience sang the line with them. "I, I did it all!"**

 **"I owned every second that this world could give! Saw so many places, the things that I did! With every broken bone, I swear I lived!" Naruto sang before he and his brothers started to harmonize. Images of Olympian statues and temples flashed by on the screen before a golden Omega plastered itself on a white background.**

 **Lee and Will quieted their instruments and sang. "With every broken bone."**

 **"I swear I lived." Naruto added as images of demigods lost in battles or quests came on the screen.**

 **"With every broken bone."**

 **"I swear I..." Naruto went quiet and the lights began to dim. The lights suddenly came back alive as the three sang the chorus again. "I, I did it all!"**

 **The audience sang with them. Deep in the crowd, Thalia lightly bounced Bolt in time with the music while beside her Joan was fast asleep. Her lips moved slightly with the words and her eyes were locked on the lead singer.**

"Mm, boy bands."

"Never!" Thalia glared at the giggling Annabeth. "They are a big conspiracy!"

"Oh, here we go again." Annabeth sighed.

"It's true!"

 **"I, I did it all!" Naruto sang fondly. His eyes met Thalia's and his grin widened. "I owned every second that this world can give!"**

 **Percy tightened his arm around Annabeth and the two shared a smile.**

 **Jason wrapped his arms gently around Piper's belly bump.**

 **Leo gave a gentle smile and looked at his engagement ring.**

 **"Saw so many places, the things that I did!"**

 **Kakashi set down his book and looked up at the screen. He adjusted the white armband with the golden omega on it subtly on his arm.**

 **Nico looked at his sister and smiled at her while Bianca smiled back.**

Nico gained a small smile at that, the future did look bright. For them and the demigods here.

 **Mark tightened his grip on his son's shoulder and let a tear fall for his wife that couldn't be there.**

 **Lee pointed out at the audience and they sang the next line. "With every broken bone, I swear I lived. With every broken bone-"**

 **"I swear I lived!" Naruto ended the song on a strong soft note.**

Apollo applauded with a bright grin on his face. "Those're my boys!"

 **Naruto opened his eyes and sat up. He blearily reached over and slammed his hand onto the radio that doubled as his alarm clock. He looked over at the clock and groaned. Why in the world was he waking up at three am? Stupid radio. Naruto fell back into bed and aligned himself with Thalia's back, his arm wrapped over her slightly bumped stomach.**

 **"Joan's a good name..." He mumbled as he drifted back off to the realm of Morpheus.**

"Curse you taunting dreams!" Aphrodite puffed up her cheeks. "I want canon not teasing fluff!"

"Shh," Apollo told her, "He's having another one."

 **"Kids, this is Naruto. Naruto, meet the kids!" Apollo grinned as he stood behind the three children that had been presented to Naruto. The tallest boy barely reached Naruto's waist, while the younger boy and the girl were maybe half an inch shorter than the eldest. They each had fair skin, black hair and blue eyes that strongly resembled Apollo's. Oddly enough, they all had a mischievous glint in their eyes that Naruto knew he'd really enjoy.**

 **"This is Yancy."**

"He's named after a school, I feel pity for him." Percy shook his head.

"It's a legit name." Hermes told him.

"Still the name of a school."

"There's a Percy Priest Elementary school." Apollo told him with a grin, which got a horrified look from the son of the sea.

 **Apollo continued as the tallest boy held his hand out. He wore khaki pants, white sneakers, a black shirt with a picture of Groucho on it and a green scarf around his neck.**

Hermes grinned. "Kid's got good taste!"

 **"Hey, nice to meet you." Yancy greeted with a smile.**

 **Naruto smiled back at him as he shook the boy's hand. "You, too."**

 **"No, I'm fourteen. You should get your eyes checked." Yancy chuckled at his own joke while Naruto let out a light laugh. Yancy stepped back and the younger brother stepped forward with his hand out. He wore khaki shorts, white sneakers, a blue long sleeved shirt and a large red floppy cap backwards on his head.**

 **"This is Warren," Apollo said as Naruto shook the boy's hand. Warren let out a large burp right in Naruto's face.**

"Well, I guess he might be related to Dionysus if his manners are anything to go by." Hestia scrunched her nose.

"Aunt Hestia," Dionysus said with a look of hurt.

"You could brush up on your manners more, nephew."

 **Warren covered his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter, unlike his siblings who were losing it, while Naruto blinked away the tears that formed.**

 **"'Scuse me," Warren said shyly.**

 **"Yeah, sure..." Naruto mumbled. That was one hell of a burp. He grunted as he caught the last one in his arms. The girl, who wore a pink sundress, white heels and had a flower clip in her hair, wrapped her arms around his neck.**

"Well, she's certainly forward." Aphrodite gave a light titter.

 **"Hel-loooo, Uncle!" The girl then planted a large wet kiss on his cheek.**

Leo narrowed his eyes, rubbing his chin. "No, it couldn't be…"

"What?" Annabeth asked him, but Leo didn't answer her.

 **She hugged her face to his and smiled at the god. "Is he really gonna keep us, Apollo?"**

 **Apollo scratched his cheek sheepishly when Naruto gave him a dry look. "Er, well, he's gonna help you settle in, Dorothy."**

 **"...Apollo, who are these kids, exactly?" Naruto asked flatly.**

 **Dorothy jumped from his arms to land in front of Yancy. Yancy grinned and threw his arm around Warren.**

 **"We're the Warner brothers!" Yancy and Warren chorused.**

 **"And I'm the Warner sister!" Dorothy added with a curtsey.**

"I knew it!" Leo cried out and grinned at Apollo. "If I wasn't straight as a two by four, I'd kiss you the freaking genius!"

Apollo bowed. "I know, I know. I get that all the time."

"The world has just ended." Thalia murmured. She had mixed feelings on this one.

 **"They're also your grand-nephews and grand-niece." Apollo added with a grin.**

 **Naruto stared at him before he clapped a hand onto his face. "Lia-chan is going to kill me."**

"Yep." Thalia summed up.

 **Naruto shot up from bed again and rubbed his face. "Okay, I'll get up, geez...stupid dream god..."**

 **Apparently, all of Olympus wanted him to be awake for the Jonin evaluation today...that or Apollo and Hera pulled some strings.**

Thalia closed the book with a sigh. "There, done."

"Was that so hard?" Annabeth asked.

"A little, I'll admit."

"Speaking of hard," Piper grabbed a pie. "Here, Leo."

Leo looked at the pie and took it slowly. "Uh, thanks?"

"Now slam it in your face," Piper said with Charmspeak.

Leo did so, making the daughter of love grin.

"Too wild to Charm, huh?"

"Girl, you are ever so cruel to me." Leo pouted. He licked some of the pie around his mouth. "Mm, apple."

* * *

 **So yeah, I totally forgot about this chapter. It was supposed to be number 7. Oh well! XD**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **Reading: Fearless: Some Knights**

* * *

"Again?" Jason asked curiously as the title _Fearless_ appeared on the screen.

"It's a continuation!" Apollo grinned. "Yay! More embarrassing moments for Arte!"

"Stop being so happy over this." Artemis hissed with colored cheeks.

"...I'll read it," Thalia said with a small scowl when Annabeth smirked at her. She turned the page and sighed. "Some Knights."

"It's funny because he's the son of the moon goddess." Percy sniggered.

Nico rolled his eyes. "Brilliant deduction."

 **Darkness.**

"Like the last one, I like it already." Hades smirked.

 **From darkness, came fear. From nothing, came life. These are facts told in every religion, in every origin story that is offered in cultures. Oh, there may have been one singularity or entity that started it all, but where did they come from? They just** _ **were**_ **.**

 **Humanity doesn't know how to rationalize origins, try as they might. Life was somewhat simpler when they just accepted the gods' existence. There was bad stormy day? Zeus was obviously pissed. A ship sank? Poseidon was offended. Someone was killed in war? Ares was at play.**

"I could be doing it for a reason." Zeus rebuffed.

"Oops?" Poseidon shrugged haplessly.

Ares chuckled in glee like the Neanderthal he was.

 **Now, with the advancements of 'science' and 'technology'? The ugly truth has arisen; humans are cruel animals. No more, no less. Complex animals, mind you, but animals all the same. Like all other animals, they felt fear, but unlike real animals, humans felt that fear was a weakness, a flaw, something to be eradicated. Likely passed down from Ares' hold over the New World.**

Ares held up his hand to his chest and smiled proudly. "I aid humanity in my own, very special way."

"Yeah, a way that requires them to wear a strait jacket." Hephaestus mocked.

 **Most Demigods knew otherwise.**

 **Fear was an ally. A drug that could give a Demigod a boost when it was needed to win a fight or flee from a powerful force. Fear bred life, thus fear was** _ **good**_ **.**

"Yeah, just be sure to ignore the yellow stains." Percy nodded in agreement.

"And wear brown pants!" Hermes added with a smile.

 **Fear thrives in the shadows, in the unknown.**

 **It is there that Naruto feels most powerful.**

 **The mortal son of Artemis, sole nephew to Apollo, perched high on a tree above the small camp of his three half-blooded friends, somewhere in the woods of West Virginia. He was in a trace brought on by meditation, a lesser form of sleep, one that kept him fully aware of his surroundings. He learned this on a field trip with his uncle, a trip** _ **west**_ **into the high mountains of the** _ **east**_ **.**

"Ah, west and east, how I love those directions." Apollo smiled fondly.

"You only ever go those directions." Athena pointed out.

"It's the camaraderie we share of always going the same pattern for centuries!"

Athena didn't bother to argue against his logic. It would have been pointless when it was obvious that Apollo was just acting stupid for his own entertainment.

 **The trip was one of the last real interactions he had with Apollo prior to leaving the Hunt. Apollo showed him the light of humanity, a spiritual journey more than it was physical. Naruto knew, thanks to hindsight, that Apollo was trying to keep him from becoming a mortal** _ **male**_ **version of Artemis**

"It's the forty year old virgin all over again!" Aphrodite cried out as a look of horror covered her face. "Only _worse_! He'll be a monk or something."

"Monks are cool." Apollo told her.

"I don't think that's the point," Jason said.

"But look at all the Kung-Fu movies!"

Jason nodded in agreement, those were indeed cool.

– **a hunter with little care for mankind save for the young women, maidens, and children under the age of twelve – and in most part, he'd failed.**

"Dammit, Apollo!"

"Sorry." The sun god shrugged sheepishly at the glaring love goddess.

"Thank you, Apollo!"

Apollo threw his twin a mock glare while she smiled brightly back at him.

 **Naruto did not care for humanity as a whole. He did not believe himself to be bound by religion, nationalism, politics, or mortal law. He had stolen when it needed to be done, he had desecrated what was considered holy ground multiple times to stop crimes, and he cared little who was in charge of what city/state/country.**

 **This did not mean Naruto didn't care about humanity. No, Naruto cared for the innocents. Those who choose to leave no mark on the world, to live day-by-day without real problems and those who tried to do good, to do what was right. The latter were few and far in between with the materialistic country the gods now dominated.**

 **Still, while Naruto cared for some of humanity, the rest, those like the** _ **dogs**_ **he'd dealt with before he met the group of demigods, he'd rather see them burn.**

"Hm, quite the sadist. I do have internships open…" Hades hummed.

"No," Artemis said.

"Funny, I never got that choice with my daughter. Stings, doesn't it?" Hades asked with a sneer. The question made Artemis guiltily look away.

 **A stick cracked in the distance and Naruto opened an eye. He scanned the area, searched for the source. There was something coming from the north, something that lived in the darkness much like Naruto did.**

 **Like Artemis did.**

 **Naruto took a deep breath and relaxed his body. He carefully, silently moved from the tree. Once Naruto was back on the forest floor, he slipped through the shadows to find the source. Naruto's steps were slow and soft, but his mind was racing. His heart as well.**

 **Had he stumbled across the Hunt?**

 **Was he to be reunited with the goddess that raised him?**

 **How would she react?**

 **Would he be greeted with warmth or threatened to leave, to forget, as he was long ago?**

"Warmly." Artemis frowned.

"I don't know, your girls are kinda dicks." Hermes told her. When he was glared at, the speedster god shrugged and pointed at Apollo. "What? I took a page from Mr. Honesty here."

"Oh, now you do. Go figure." Apollo grumbled with his arms crossed over his chest.

 **"A busy mind is a dangerous mind, you know."**

 **The man's voice was sudden, but it had Naruto stop and pull out an arrowhead from his pocket. The arrowhead was plucked from his hand by a force unseen to Naruto, but he was familiar of it. It was godly, this force that slapped his weapon from his grasp, and it was old.**

 **But it was not Greek.**

"Say what now?" Leo squawked in surprise. "There's other gods out there?"

The gods shifted uncomfortably at this.

 **"** _ **That**_ **seemed like you were about to make a bad choice. A loser's bet, in fact."**

 **Naruto turned and stared at the well-dressed and handsome young man, his suit a glimmering silver much like the crescent moon above them. His head was shaven save for the lone side-lock of dark hair. His eyes were silver, cold and distant, but highly amused. Around the man's neck were many silver chains, a crescent moon medallion hung from one.**

"I think he's got more bling then me," Apollo said. He practically pouted at the realization.

"I think his ego may match yours." Artemis added with audible awe in her voice.

 **The man walked around Naruto, his amused smile still in place. "** _ **I**_ **had come out here because** _ **I**_ **thought it was a joke, but here** _ **you**_ **are. A copycat superhero! First of his kind! Running around the streets of Virginia, kicking ass and taking names!" He chuckled and stopped back in front of Naruto with a pensive look on his face. "Hm, you can't call yourself 'Moon Knight', it's copyrighted, you know. But, maybe we can make a deal?"**

"Hey, that's _my_ domain!" Apollo argued with a frown.

"Isn't it the moon goddess' area?" Nico asked.

"No, comics are my thing. They're art!"

 **"I don't even know who you are." Naruto frowned.**

 **The man frowned. "No? Tch, are they** _ **still**_ **sore that they had to ask us for help in World War II?"**

 **Naruto had no answer.**

 **The man rolled his eyes. "Oh enough of the 'mysterious' gimmick. Honestly." He snapped his fingers and Naruto's hood fell from his head, and his mask dropped to rest around his neck. The man arched a brow and whistled lowly. "Wicked scars you got there, kid. Didn't think that her Hunters were** _ **that**_ **adamant about the 'no boys' rule."**

"We would never!" Artemis shouted in outrage, clear anger in her eyes.

Jason looked at Thalia with a raised brow.

"We don't, so stop thinking what you're thinking, Jason."

"Kay."

 **"Birthmarks." Naruto frowned. His sisters were against the presence of males in camp, sure, but they never got violent. A bit mean, sometimes, but nothing a hug from another didn't fix. Naruto pushed the memories away and glared at the god that stood before him. "Who** _ **are**_ **you?"**

 **The man arched a brow and his smile widened. "Really? I'm standing before you in a silver themed attire, not unlike your own or the Hunters', with a pendant" he flicked the pendant with his finger and it dangled slightly "of a crescent moon, no less. My eyes are even silver!"**

"He's clearly a sun god." Frank nodded sternly with crossed arms.

"That's not funny!" Apollo protested.

"Like you said, he's got more bling then you." Frank pointed out.

Apollo hummed and then snapped his fingers. He was now clad in gold _everything_ , from a jacket, to pants, rings, necklaces, and shades. Without his natural illuminating aura, Apollo shone brightly.

"Now I've got the bling!" He crowed happily.

"Tone it down!" Zeus ordered his son, narrowing his eyes from the obnoxious glare he was radiating.

It was more than the usual amount.

Apollo pouted and did as told, his bling gone in a flash of light.

 **"You're a moon deity. That much I gathered. You're not Greek. You refer to the Olympians as 'they' and Artemis as 'her'. Distant pronouns." Naruto narrowed his eyes and kept his guard up.**

 **The strange god sighed. "You'd think with the relationship Rome and Egypt had as well as our recent alliance back in the forties would wash away their distaste for the rest of us." The grin returned to his face, but his eyes remained distant, cold and slightly angry. He made a grandiose sweep of his arms. "Then, allow me to have the pleasure of introducing myself! I am the Egyptian God of Time, Youths and the Moon-!"**

"Oh, him," Hermes said and rubbed his eyes. "That's one twisted bastard if I ever did meet one."

 **"Khonsu." Naruto didn't mean to speak, interrupting a god was stupid. He'd made that mistake often when he was a child, and the excuse that he 'didn't know better' only worked so long until Apollo had to pull him aside on their trip. Naruto's uncle had explained to him gravely what interruption could result in.**

 **Luckily, Khonsu seemed to be more surprised than he was upset at the interruption. "So the costume was a rip off then? Which version do you like? I prefer Ultimate Moon Knight, to be honest, since I'm not a part of him at all."**

 **"...I have a lot of questions..." Naruto realized, more to himself to the Egyptian deity that stood across from him.**

"I approve, you can never have enough questions." Athena nodded.

"That's not the point here, he shouldn't be socializing with the boy." Zeus frowned.

"Technically, this version is a mortal. So he's free reign." Hera reminded her king.

Zeus frowned heavily and crossed his arms. "He's been claimed by Artemis, he is an honorary Greek."

"Not in name," Hera said again. Honestly, her husband's ego was the only reason they had bad terms with the other pantheons.

 **Khonsu grinned. "They always do. You're lucky, boy. Mortals, even clear-sighted ones like yourself, are more likely to be ignored by the world. Maybe an immortal reaches out to take your to bed or maybe a magician takes you as an apprentice, but you, dear boy...You're different."**

 **Naruto just swallowed. "Different...isn't good."**

 **"It's not bad, either. It just is." Khonsu shrugged. "But that's not the point here. What is the point is that you're not the normal breed of clear-sighted mortal that usually runs around." Khonsu pointed at him, his grin wider than before. "You, kid...you're a new breed of human. One that no immortal saw coming. That could be good. That could be bad. Depends on who you ask and what agenda is being formed in the background."**

"A new breed? Well, we clearly must milk him of his jeans! For science and junk!" Ares declared with a vicious grin.

"You just want that ridiculous super soldier project from the forties to be brought up again." Athena scowled while Artemis looked ready to carve out Ares' insides.

"It _will_ happen! Steroids and robotic enhancements will be nothing compared to the super soldiers!" Ares raved like a mad god.

"Oh, hush." Dionysus groaned while he covered his ears.

 **Naruto frowned. "You want me to ask what you're getting at, why you decided to show up when no one else has?"**

 **"Seems the Letoides didn't raise no fool," Khonsu said with a chuckle. He adjusted the silver cuffs on his sleeve. "You've seen what most Immortals see about humanity, and you've seen the promise that lays within. I want to make a bet."**

"Don't do it! He swindles!" Hermes said with a hint of worry.

"And you don't?" Percy asked him.

"Percy, this guy makes me look like a Care Bear, and I used to slit throats and smile at the same time."

"…Well, that's not a disturbing thought." Percy mumbled under his breath.

 **"Bets and deals are weighted in immortal favor," Naruto said firmly.**

 **Khonsu chuckled again. "Yes, yes it is. Well, I suppose I can even the score then. This bet, our wager, will be determined right now. We will play a game of chance, we'll roll this die."**

 **A silver cube appeared in Khonsu's hand. The cube was tossed in the air and Naruto caught it. Naruto found that three sides were painted with a moon and the other three were painted with a bright sun.**

"Well, clearly the sun is bad news."

"Hey!" Apollo frowned at Hermes' words. The sun was never bad luck!

 **The mortal looked at the god, to see the grin still in place.**

 **"Not weighted nor altered in any way." Khonsu held a hand up. "Sworn on Ra's Throne."**

 **"Not very reassuring to one who was raised by an Olympian." Naruto drawled.**

 **Khonsu rubbed his neck. "Ah, got me there. There's an oath for your sort, isn't there? Been a while since I dealt with a Greek."**

 **"An Oath on the Styx," Naruto said. "It's the most powerful word of honor the Olympians have. To break the oath is to bring ill time on yourself."**

 **Khonsu nodded. "Right, right. I, Khonsu, God of Time, Youths, and the Moon, son of Ra, Father of the Gods, swear on the Styx that the die used in our game of chance will not and has not be altered in any way by myself or another."**

"I still wouldn't trust him as fair as I can throw him." Hermes claimed.

"Can't you, like, throw a house with ease?" Leo asked.

"…That's beside the point."

 **The sky boomed and Naruto felt far more respect for this god than he had for few others he'd met. Only his respect for Artemis and Apollo surpassed this, which was understandable as they had raised him. Naruto tightened his grasp around the die and lowered his guard slightly.**

"Bad move," Jason said with a disappointed nod. You never lower your guard with a god you just met.

 **"What's your bet?" Naruto asked.**

 **Khonsu grinned and held his hand out. A light appeared over his palm. "I wager my ren, my secret name. The very definition of who or what I am. The key to my soul. Whomever so holds this secret name has control over me, that forces me to do nearly whatever is bidden of me...but not for long.**

"That's…" Hazel trailed off in awe. She gulped. "Wow, what in the world does he want?"

"That's the most risky thing I've seen a god do in a while." Hades mused, mildly intrigued by the prospect. "Have to give the Egyptians this, they're bold ones."

 **Magicians have tried again and again to bind me permanently, but they get greedy."**

 **Khonsu closed his hand and grinned as the light dimmed out. "I have the feeling that greed isn't your ren."**

 **"So we're betting our souls?" Naruto asked.**

 **Khonsu shook his head. "No.** _ **I'm**_ **betting my soul. You're betting your life."**

"Ehh..." Apollo made an iffy gesture with his hand. "Not that much of an fair trade."

Artemis glared at him, and the god shrugged.

"What? Nephew he may be, but I calls it like I sees it." Apollo nodded firmly at his defense.

 **The die in Naruto's hand suddenly felt heavier than it was before.**

 **"We all sense it. All of us, kid." Khonsu took a step forward and his eyes seemed pleased when Naruto didn't take a step back. "Every immortal that ever was can feel it. Something ain't right. Someone doesn't belong here, in** _ **our**_ **universe." Khonsu put his hand on his chest and his smile grew wide. "I just happened to decide to do something about it."**

"He is an error in the system." Leo said in a robot voice. "Purge! Purge! Purge!"

"Leo, stop that!" Piper frowned at her friend. He knew she hated those types of movies!

Leo grinned innocently at her as a fiery halo appeared above his head.

"That doesn't help, you know."

 **"And if I refuse to play the game?" Naruto asked. He rolled the die in his hand, his breathing still. He had an idea of what would happen.**

 **"I go away and wipe your memory." Khonsu shrugged. "Wash of the hand, keep an eye on you occasionally if you step out of line. You're wearing my colors as much as you are your 'mother's."**

 **Naruto nodded. "Very well. I accept your terms, Khonsu."**

"Well, this feels like it's going to end well," Percy said in a chipper tone.

"That's a bit _too_ optimistic, Percy." Frank mused.

 **Khonsu's grin was bright, his teeth spotless, and a gleam appeared in his eyes. One of excitement.**

 **"Then throw the die, Son of Artemis, and call the landing."**

 **Naruto looked down at the die in his hand, the moon etched in one side gleamed back up at him. He slipped his thumb under the die and flicked it up. A word escaped Naruto's mouth. The die tumbled in the air. It arched in the air and time seemed to slow as it made its descent.**

 **The die landed with a bounce. For a moment, Naruto's heart stopped and his eyes dilated. There was another bounce, both god and mortal watched the die intently in the faint moonlight.**

 **When the die settled, Naruto simply stared at it and Khonsu's grin widened.**

"Well, he's dead." Ares folded his arms behind his head. "Next story!"

"There's more." Thalia argued.

"What? Boo! Well, there better be a fight. This monologue shit is getting old." The war god grunted.

Athena rubbed her eyes tiredly. "It helps build characterization."

"…The fuck do I care about that for?" Ares' question made a group of groans break out.

 **Thalia didn't know when it happened or how, but she cursed the horde of hellhounds that attacked her, Annabeth and Luke underneath an overpass. It'd been two months since they left Virginia with little Annabeth, and for the first three weeks there weren't that many monsters to follow them. The occasional lone hellhound or two came up, but aside from that, it was almost monster free. Now though, something had changed. More monsters came after them, a** _ **lot**_ **more.**

 **It was like they'd been doused in** _ **eau de monster**_ **or something!**

Hades whistled innocently at this while he admired his wedding ring when Zeus flashed a stern glare at him.

 **Thalia used her shield, a replica of Aegis, her father's shield, to bash a hellhound away from her as it made its lunge. She thrust her spear into the hellhound's side and quickly pulled it out to slash another hellhound away. Thalia looked over her shoulder towards the two blondes.**

 **Luke was doing all right for having only the remains of a bronze sword. His last one had been snapped in half by some sort of snake legged woman. He faced off against three hellhounds while Annabeth finished off one of her own,**

"Go Annie." Thalia grinned at Annabeth, who preened with pride.

"I do my best."

 **one that had been wounded beforehand. Smart kid, knew she couldn't take one by herself yet, went for one Luke had wounded.**

 **The bashed hellhound took Thalia's eyes off of her two companions and back on the threat at hand. With a yell, Thalia drove her spear into the canine-like monster's open mouth and through the back of its skull. It dispersed into golden dust after she pulled the spear out. Thalia turned her attention back on the other hellhounds, there were two more that joined the ones that had cornered Luke and Annabeth earlier.**

 **"Hey, over here you bastards!"**

 **Let it be known that street life does not leave a child's vocabulary pure.**

Thalia shrugged, "It never really does."

"I learned a few things on the street." Percy agreed with a nod.

Annabeth gave him a stern look. "Language that you will never use around me."

"Uh, right, yeah, of course." The son of Poseidon was quick to say with a nervous smile on his face.

"Whipped." Thalia whispered with a smirk before she continued.

 **And let it also be known that hellhounds do not understand the English language.**

"Yeah they do, you just have to train them to respond correctly." Nico objected.

"Well no one asked you, Death Breath." The hunter told the boy.

 **They do, however, understand that a sound accompanied by ill intent means to move, thus rendering Thalia's following surprised attack useless. The hellhound she intended to skewer had moved and Luke had nearly taken the blow, had he not been as riddled with ADHD as she was.**

 **"Wow, geez, Thalia! Thought the hellhounds were enough of a problem!" Luke tried to down play his own nerves at nearly being killed with weak humor.**

"Wow, glad to know you got better," Percy said.

"Eh, more like she got worse." Ares shrugged. "She almost saved us from a major problem."

Hermes glared at the war god, who had a smirk on his face.

 **"Funny, Castellan, very funny." Thalia countered with a scowl as she forced herself to stand on her sprained ankle. Part of the reason Thalia didn't accidentally kill Luke was because she adjusted her landing midair, but she landed on her left foot wrong. Thalia kept a Hellhound at bay with her shield and held her spear up accordingly. Another glance was thrown over her shoulder at the young blonde behind them before her gaze returned to the four monsters.**

 **"How you holding up, Annie?" No response. "Annie!"**

 **"I-I got one!"**

 **Thalia smirked. "Atta girl."**

Thalia patted Annabeth on the head. "Little Annie do good!"

"Ha-Ha." The blonde rolled her eyes and smacked Thalia's hand away. "Funny."

"Well, it was when you were little." Thalia sighed dramatically. "Things were a lot easier when you were little, you were cuter and not as sassy..."

Annabeth stuck her tongue out at Thalia.

"See? Like that. You'd never do that to me when you were younger."

"Can you please get back to the story?" Annabeth asked with a frown.

"Fine, fine..."

 **A hellhound seemed to gain some courage as it took a large bite at the air right in front of her shield. Thalia sent some static into her spear and sent a large shock at it. The hellhound backed off, but the three demigods were cornered. Behind them was a concrete wall, and to either side was a hellhound. Thalia and Luke could try to fight them off, maybe even win, but the chance of this occurring was very low. One hellhound was easy with two demigods. Two were a bit challenging, but still doable. Three would be complicated and require a lot of luck. But four?**

 **No chance.**

 **"Thalia, got any ideas?" Luke asked.**

 **Thalia swallowed. "None that immediately come to mind. You?"**

 **"Fight back?"**

"Or misdirection." Hermes mused.

"With a wall between them?" Jason asked.

Hermes shrugged. "It's doable."

"I don't think so," Piper said with a whisper to Jason, who nodded in agreement with her. Well, unless Thalia suddenly learned to fly. He figured that wasn't happening any time soon.

Or, possibly, ever.

 **"Let's do it."**

 **Luke grinned and tightened his grip on his broken sword. "You know, I wish I had gotten a backup sword when you said to. Maybe there wouldn't have been four hellhounds."**

 **"Told you last time we stopped, but** _ **no**_ **, you had to save room for supplies," Thalia said. She sent another shock to another hellhound and took a deep breath. Man that took a lot out of her.**

 **"Little good that did us." Luke mumbled. He slashed at a Hellhound that got too close. The Hellhound backed away and snarled at Luke. Saliva dripped from its jaws.**

"Zuul, Motherfucka! Zuul!"

"Nico di Angelo! You watch your language!" Hestia scolded sternly.

"But it fit perfectly with the scene!" Nico protested. Hestia glared at him and he cowed. "Sorry..."

"So not funny." Thalia scowled at the pale boy.

"I beg to differ," Nico said with a shrug.

"Oh, something'll be begging alright…"

"Thalia, less threatening, more reading," Artemis said to her lieutenant before another fight could break out.

 **There was a second of peaceful tension, but it was broken as the four hellhounds made to move forward.**

 **Then, the air filled with snarls and growls was interrupted by the sound of soft clacking. A lone hellhound turned its ears towards the source, but the sound did not deter the others from their slow enclosure. Thalia looked towards the source, down in front of Luke's feet.**

 **A silver die, with a sun and a moon painted on some of the sides, rested before Luke's right foot. Next to it, was a small scrap of paper, crinkled and partially unrolled. But there was something written on it that Thalia surprisingly understood and could barely make out. It was one word, and one word alone.**

 _ **Down**_ **.**

"Now that is classy!" Apollo grinned with pride. He rubbed the underside of his nose. "Undoubtedly something he learned from the coolest uncle he's got!"

"You? Ha! That trajectory was from _my_ tutelage." Artemis argued while her brothers glared mildly at Apollo.

"Oh? You teach dice to your hunters now?"

"We dabble in different hobbies." The huntress sniffed and said no more of the topic. Her twin pouted at her answer.

Now he wanted to know more.

 **"Get down!" Thalia grabbed Annabeth's shoulder and dropped, Luke a step ahead of them, as silver blurs tore through the air towards the four hellhounds. The hellhounds couldn't move as they were pierced by something made of silver. The hellhounds slumped to the ground and slowly dissolved into golden dust.**

 **All that remained were small silver crescent moons, each no larger than Thalia's hand.**

 **The faint sound of a lone car passing overhead was the only thing that filled the air for a minute.**

"Someone in awe of a certain hero?" Piper asked Thalia with a smirk.

"No!" Thalia rebuffed quickly. "It was freaking cool, that's all."

"Sure..."

 **Thalia was pretty sure she could hear faint music, but that was probably due to the adrenaline rush. There was a soft thump and a relieved sigh.**

 **"Good thing you saw the note. I was momentarily afraid it would've been blown off by a gust of wind."**

Jason smiled. "Thalia doesn't eat beans."

"Jason!" Thalia glared at her brother while her cheeks turned pink. To insinuate she'd pass wind like that! She was the lightning girl!

 **The three demigods turned to see a familiar figure in a hooded silver cloak perched behind them. His blue eyes looked them over for a minute before they met Thalia's. The eyes dropped and landed on her shield.**

 **"That thing is still ugly as sin."**

 **Thalia glowered at him. "I didn't exactly have a choice in decorating it, Whiskers."**

"Aw, universal nicknames~"

"McLean, this is a hardback, not a paperback. It _will_ hurt."

Piper merely continued to smile in amusement.

 **A groan left the cloaked teen and he pulled his hood down, his face mask still up to conceal the source of his nickname. "Can you** _ **not**_ **call me that?"**

 **"It wasn't like you ever gave us your name." Luke mumbled a bit harshly. Thalia realized that was true. 'Whiskers' never gave a name to them. Annabeth called him what Thalia called him, and Luke always spoke with eye contact.**

 **'Whiskers' blinked and stood upright. "Well to be fair, you never asked. You only wanted to know if I was a monster and why I could see what you saw since I wasn't a demigod."**

"Wow, not even Annabeth asked him?" Hazel teased.

Annabeth flushed. "I was probably occupied by the comic book."

 **That was also true, Thalia noted. They kept 'Whiskers' at arm's length, well, she and Luke did anyway. Annabeth liked him and treasured the comic he'd given her. It was still preserved safely in the girl's grey backpack they'd snagged from a store a few days after they left Richmond.**

 **"Can we know it now?" Annabeth asked as she looked up at the taller blond. 'Whiskers' looked back at her and stepped down from his perch. His cloak fell around him, concealing his form from real view.**

 **"You can call me 'N'. I'll give you my name where there aren't any eyes or ears around." 'N' offered. Thalia took note of the lack of any bums or people about. All that were present were a few rats that had started to become brave. 'N' walked past the demigods and reached down to pick up the die he'd thrown with his note.**

 **'N' stood and flicked the die into the air with his thumb. He caught it with a quick swipe before his hand disappeared back into his cloak. His eyes went back to them, a scan.**

 **Thalia grimaced as his gaze fell on her ankle. She was using her spear to keep off of it, but he didn't –** _ **couldn't**_ **know that...right?**

"Ahem." Both Artemis and Apollo cleared their throats.

"He's not born with your genes." Thalia grumbled. _Thankfully_ , she added mentally.

"I most likely trained him to have keen eyesight, Thalia. He'd know how to look for details." The moon goddess said.

"And I would have showed him a few things with medical stuff. I would be a bad uncle otherwise!"

"You are one regardless." Artemis huffed and Apollo glared at her.

"Well, maybe if you gave me a legit niece – heck, make it a real nephew – I could show you how awesome of an uncle I'd be!"

"And I've told you, until all the stars in the sky blink out-"

"Twins, that's enough." Hestia sighed as she rubbed her head, she felt like she needed an aspirin.

The twins went silent, but Artemis continued to glare at Apollo, while he made a face at her in return.

 **"Luke, you know Connecticut well, right?" 'N' asked.**

 **Thalia and Annabeth looked to the other blond boy, who had a dark look on his face. "How do you know that?"**

 **"You gave me your first name. You didn't think that runaways were exempt from being reported missing, did you? Took me a while, but I found you, Annabeth, and even the damaged lightning rod, here." Naruto nodded to Thalia. Thalia was miffed that he wasn't really affected by her glare for making Annabeth and Luke aware of her injury.**

 **"If you know where I used to live, why ask if I know Connecticut well?" Luke asked with a scowl on his face.**

"Well, this will only end in tears," Hermes said with an extremely forced smile.

 **'N' arched a brow and amusement seemed to twinkle in his eyes. "I might know, I might not. But I know that you know that I know you remember where you live." 'N's gaze became distant and sad. "No one forgets where they come from, after all."**

"He needs a mommy hug." Hazel whispered to Frank.

"We all need those once in a while." Her boyfriend agreed.

 **Luke's scowl deepened and he turned away slightly. "...Fine, but stay close."**

 **"You should carry Annabeth." 'N' said.**

 **"I can run, Whiskers!" Annabeth frowned at him. Thalia snorted while 'N' sent her a quick glare. He really didn't like that nickname it seemed.**

 **'N's eyes became amused and gentle once more as he knelt down to look at her. "We need you to save your energy, Annabeth. We're all so tired and need our little wise girl to keep an eye out for more monsters."**

"Wow, dealing with a younger you is so easy." Percy mumbled in awe while Annabeth glared at him.

"See? Way better as a kid, Annie." Thalia agreed with her cousin.

"I like to be a grown up, unlike some girl I know."

"Hey! It's part of the gig!"

 **Thalia had to fight down the smile that crossed her face as Annabeth seemed to be swayed by 'N's logic. She watched Luke begrudgingly pick the smaller blonde up in a piggyback ride and start to walk off. Thalia looked back at 'N' as he walked up to her and her gaze hardened.**

 **"You so much as ask to carry me – Hey!" Thalia cried out as 'N' picked her up over his shoulders in a fireman's carry.**

"Ugh, bring back to cave." Ares grunted like a caveman.

"Really?" Aphrodite asked. While the wording was slightly amusing, it was also just stupidly sad. Ares just scratched under his armpit and she sighed.

A banana then hit him in the face and he looked around, enraged. "Who did that?!"

Hermes whistled innocently as he kicked the rest of the bananas under Percy's seat.

 **"Didn't ask." There was a smirk under that mask, Thalia just knew it.**

 **Thalia scowled and collapsed her weapons with a huff. "You're a jerk, Whiskers."**

 **"I've been told this before. ...And stop calling me that."**

 **Naruto had, at Thalia's request, stopped to reposition her to be carried like Annabeth was.**

"Inhaling his hair made the young impressionable demigoddess release a content sigh as she nestled into his strong, broad shoulders..."

"Stop that!" Thalia snapped at the love goddess, who had mimicked Thalia's voice perfectly.

The lady of doves tittered and waved the Hunter off. "Oh, let me have this! It was before your mind was poisoned."

"I don't poison minds, you do with your foam-filled brain." Artemis sneered at Aphrodite.

"We all use different poisons." Aphrodite countered with a smirk.

 **It was far less humiliating that way and it was a lot easier for Naruto, too.**

 **He could keep up with Luke** _ **and**_ **not be subjected to Thalia's complaints.**

 **They traveled in relative quiet through a small town until they came across a white Colonial house that looked almost lonely by where it was placed on the street. Luke stepped up the porch to the door and let Annabeth slide down his back to the ground before he crouched in front of the door.**

 **"Picking the lock of your own house?" Naruto asked as he let Thalia slip down from his back carefully. He continued to let her use him for support while he watched Luke work.**

 **Luke paused and looked back at the other blond. "There's a reason I ran off."**

"Whoa, Herm, ease up on the face." Apollo told his brother, whose forced smile became wider.

"I think it's stuck." Hermes patted his face with a bit of concern in his eye, despite the smile he had.

 **"Fair enough." Naruto shrugged. Hey, he said he looked the kids up, not that he read their whole files. That would be an invasion of privacy.**

 **Luke got the door open in a few seconds and ushered them in quickly. He shut the door and turned, only to find their backs to him. "Guys, what are you waiting for? We can't stay long!"**

 **"No, by all means..." Luke looked up at the one that obstructed their path. A man in a navy jogging suit stood before them. He had salt and peppered hair, with blue eyes that were akin to Luke's own. A smile spread across his face. "Have a seat. Get comfortable."**

"I think he wants to play a game." Leo mused with a raised brow.

"Quick, Athena brat, turn Castellan's hands into stumps!" Ares ordered gleefully.

 **"Oh, god dammit." Naruto mumbled. He'd recognized the being by Apollo and his mother's descriptions of the 'lax' apparel that would often be worn on a day – or second – off. The patron of thieves, Hermes, stood before them.**

 **"Watch your mouth, there's children present." Hermes told him firmly. He turned and walked into the living room, pausing to look over his shoulder. "Luke, come with me. We need to talk."**

"He's been a _bad_ boy." Leo tisked.

"He wasn't _that_ bad." Hermes grumbled while he rubbed the salve Apollo gave him to relax his smile on his cheeks.

Athena sent Hermes a bland look. "He almost managed to destroy Olympus."

"Like I said, he wasn't _that_ bad. If he was _that_ bad, he would've destroyed Olympus."

 **"...Yeah." Luke agreed. Naruto stole a glance as the other blond teen walked past and saw white knuckles formed by the clenching of his fists.**

 **This was only going to end in tears.**

Ares took a drink from a bottle that was labeled [Hermes' Tears]. "Ah, delicious."

Hermes pointed at the bottle in alarm. "Where did you get those?!"

"I have my sources."

 **Naruto led Thalia and Annabeth to the kitchen, where Thalia sat at an island countertop on a stool. Annabeth sat next to her and her eyes widened at the sight of a mountain of cookies that was on it. Her hand reached out to grab one, but Naruto's hand was faster. Annabeth recoiled and held her hand that had been slapped as she looked at the other blond with a pout.**

"No cookies for you, it seems," Reyna chuckled at her friend.

"Hey, we were hungry that day." Annabeth weakly retorted.

"Your lack of manners shows that."

Annabeth merely pouted at her past actions being criticized. She was seven!

 **"Don't be rude. Ask for permission first." Naruto looked at the other occupant of the kitchen. A wiry woman with white hair that seemed to slowly be falling out. She looked almost like a scarecrow.**

 **"Hello, children!" The woman greeted with a smile on her face. "My name is May."**

 **"Hello, Ms. Castellan," Naruto said softly as he pulled his mask down. He took a seat next to Thalia and forced her to turn towards him so he could look at her ankle. "This is Thalia and next to her is Annabeth. My name is Naruto."**

 **Thalia arched a brow, a smirk on her face. "Really? That's a weird name, Whisk-Ow!"**

Thalia glowered at this.

"This is why you don't get smart with the white mage." Apollo snickered and steepled his fingers together. "We hold power over resurrection and healing! Fear us!"

 **Naruto gave her a look as he tested the functionality of her injured foot. "Sprained. Nothing too severe, but walking on it could've cost you in the long run." He turned to May with a gentle smile on his face. "Excuse me, Ms. Castellan, but do you have any Ambrosia or ice I could use?"**

 **Annabeth furrowed her brows. "Where would she get ambrosia?"**

"I don't think it would be responsible to leave it in the house with her." Athena commented offhandedly.

"She's fine," Hermes said frostily.

 **Naruto ignored the question as May smiled, her clouded eyes gained some light to them. She walked over to the refrigerator and opened the door. "What a polite boy! That reminds me of the time my son, Luke, and I went to get some ice cream. Oh, he was so precious when he was little. Nervous as a tick when he asked for rocky road from the pretty girl behind the counter. Like his father, he was, a little ladies man in the making..."**

"And a shame, too." Aphrodite nodded mournfully. "Luke had such potential. But no, he had to moon over a tree girl. Oh the woe!"

Thalia's eye twitched while Artemis rolled her eyes.

 **A tray of ice was pulled out and a jar of slightly golden liquid was set on the table. Thalia looked at Naruto with confusion written on her face and Naruto softly whispered, "With the Traveller here, one can assume that she's more aware of things than we think."**

 **"Would you like some Kool-Aid, sweetie?" May asked Annabeth. "A cookie perhaps?"**

 **"S-Sure," Annabeth said uneasily as the cloudy eyes met hers. A cup was set before her and red liquid, poorly mixed if those clumps were anything to go by, was poured in. The cookie Annabeth had tried to snag beforehand was greeted by a grimace as she showed the bottom of the snack to the older demigods. Burnt like it had been cooked for too long.**

 **Annabeth gave them a pleading look and silently mouthed,** _ **Can we go now?**_

 **Naruto frowned at her slightly.** _ **Manners**_ **.**

"Yeah! Talk about _rude_." Hermes frowned at Annabeth, who refused to meet the god's eyes.

 **The young daughter of Athena pouted unhappily as May started to make a new batch of cookies and talked about Luke's childhood.**

 **Naruto paid it no mind and returned to his treatment. He rubbed some ambrosia and ice around the ankle with a napkin and had Thalia take a sip of the former. While May had their attention with a gripping tale of Luke's first few days of potty training – that boy did not want to be in diapers or limited to one spot when he did his business, apparently**

"The Tales of the Traveling Pooper. How riveting," Athena said, with distaste evident on her features. She could have gone without hearing that idea.

"Hey," Apollo snapped his fingers. "That'd be an awesome kids' book!"

"Copyrighted."

Apollo gave the smirking Hermes a scathing glare. "You dick."

"You gotta be faster, Apollo." The smirking thief god wagged a finger at the sun god.

– **Naruto pressed his hand over the ankle and closed his eyes.**

 **After he'd thought of some words to use, Naruto began to sing softly – not with the best voice in the world, but it wasn't bad either – in Greek. It was a trick used mostly by his 'cousins', to sing to Apollo to heal another, but Apollo told him that it really didn't have to be his kids that sang. He'd accept a request made by** _ **anyone**_ **that was singing about him.**

"Yes, to swell his ego," Artemis said dryly.

 **His mother said it was due to his ego.**

Artemis lip quirked upward. Indeed, she had raised a smart boy. Who'd have thought?

 **Apollo never disagreed when Naruto asked if it was true.**

 **May ignored the song, going to a story about Luke picking a locker in school, but Thalia and Annabeth stared at Naruto curiously. He sang too softly for them to really catch with May's chatter taking up most of the sound. By the time Naruto had finished, he had released Thalia's leg and let her walk around on it for a second.**

 **"How'd you do that?" Thalia asked with a curious and wary frown. She started to pull her sock and shoe back on while Annabeth stared in genuine curiosity.**

"I didn't know Annabeth had a foot fetish?"

"Piper!" Annabeth exclaimed with red cheeks, clearly scandalized at the thought.

The daughter of love snickered, Hazel barely held in her giggles, and Reyna had an amused smile while Percy gave Annabeth a playful wary look as he moved his feet away from hers.

 **"Old trick my uncle taught me. Wasn't sure if it would work," Naruto said with a shrug. He covered the lid on the ambrosia and handed it back to May. "Thank you, Ms. Castellan."**

 **May smiled back at him. "No problem, deary-"**

 **"Then you don't care!"**

"And thus, the near end of the world came to be…all because Hermes is a crappy pops." Ares grunted as he cleaned his ear with his pinkie finger. "Real pity."

"Uh, I didn't nearly start the end of the world." Hermes strongly rebuffed and pointed at Hades. " _He_ cursed the Oracle."

"Because _he_ ," Hades gestured to Zeus, "killed my lover. We've done this whole song and dance, Hermes. At least _try_ to add a new spin to it. If not? Drop it."

Hermes kept himself from glowering and held his tongue while Zeus gave Hades a glare.

 **Eyes went to the hall as Luke's shout echoed in the house. Naruto winced. Yeah, this was going to end badly. Eyes went to May, who had stopped stirring and set the bowl of cookie mix down.**

 **"Luke? Is that you?" Her voice was worried, hopeful, and elated. "Is that my boy?"**

"The poor dear." Hera sighed while she rested a hand on her forehead. It was a saddening fate for a mother.

 **Luke ran from the living room and left the house. Annabeth was quick on his heels and Thalia was right on hers. Naruto stood from his seat and pulled his mask back up. He watched as the elderly woman moved from the kitchen to the door in a speed one would not expect of her.**

 **"Luke! Luke, come back! My boy!" Tears fell down her cheeks.**

 **Hermes was behind her. He had her in an embrace one would not expect a god to use when they kept a mortal from chasing after demigods. Naruto slipped by and pulled his hood up.**

 **He turned back and his eyes locked with the god's for a brief moment before he looked at the sobbing May. "Ms. Castellan, thank you for all your help."**

 **"My boy!" May wailed.**

 **Naruto turned and ran off towards the woods that the other three had run to. There were clouds forming overhead and the moon was being hidden from sight.**

"Symbolism?" Thalia asked her matron.

"Well, who knows?" Artemis quirked her lips up. She was very curious as to how the coming reunion would be with her 'son'.

 **Naruto took one last look at the Castellan house, the image of the worried mother driven to tears burned in his mind. He turned back towards the shadows of the wilderness and embraced them.**

 **Humans and immortals...so different and so very much alike.**

"We don't advertise it that much," Dionysus said, before he took a sloppy sip of his Coke and then belched.

Aphrodite gave the god a disgusted look. "Do you wish to scratch your rear for a trifecta of disgusting?"

"Good idea!" the wine god smiled and did as such.

"Dionysus." Zeus groaned and covered his eyes painfully.

"What?"

 **"Would you like to talk about it?" Naruto asked that night. Luke was too worked up to sleep and had told Thalia and Annabeth that he'd take first watch. Annabeth had asked what Hermes was like, and Luke almost flipped had Thalia not pulled Annabeth aside and offered to read the comic with her again before bed.**

Percy looked at his girlfriend with a small smirk. "You don't have it memorized yet?"

"Sometimes I like to read something just for the sake of reading, Percy." Annabeth informed factually.

 **"What do you care?" Luke asked bitterly. "You're not a demigod."**

 **"I am not a demigod, but I know what it's like to feel betrayed by your father." Naruto added.**

 **"It's not the same." Luke grumbled.**

"And this was Luke's problem, he thought he had it _so_ bad." Thalia grumbled. Sure, her turning into a tree sucked, but he could have just moved on with his life and look at the positive things he had going for it. Instead, like an idiot, he had to focus on all the negative.

Annabeth placed a comforting hand on Thalia's shoulder and the two girls shared a soft smile. They'd still remember Luke when he was _their_ Luke, and not the teen that wanted to destroy Olympus.

 **Naruto sighed. It looked like he'd have to start this conversation if he was to make any headway. "My birth mother died the night I was born. My father was nowhere to be found. It wasn't complications in birth that killed her. According to my adoptive mother, my birth mother was riddled in cuts and gashes. She held on long enough to give me my name."**

 **"...Your name?" Luke asked. Naruto looked at him from the corner of his eye.**

 **"Naruto. It means maelstrom or fishcake in Japanese, depending on how it's written." He explained. "There's probably another meaning for it, but that's what I know."**

 **"...Do you know who your father is?" Luke asked.**

 **Naruto shook his head. "Don't know, don't care. If I ever meet him in this world or the next, I'm going to punch him square in the face."**

"A very well planned idea." Artemis agreed with a proud smile on her face.

"No! The boy really is a male Artemis!" Aphrodite cried. She was actually close to tears over this development. "I need to get him with some girls, stat!"

"I'm sure that my other's working on that." Apollo waved off Aphrodite's concern. He wanted a male Artemis just as much as Artemis wanted a female Apollo.

"They best not corrupt him!" Artemis threatened the two with a glare. "If your alternate selves so much as try, I'm taking my frustration out on you two!"

"…My, Artemis, this is so sudden~!" Aphrodite said coyly. She batted her eyelashes while she placed a hand on her chest. "Do be gentle with me. Though, I do like it rough now and again~"

Artemis' cheeks dusted gold and she scowled at the goddess. "Not that kind of frustration, you-you harlot!"

"...Hot." Hermes whispered as he thought about the action mentioned by the two goddesses' exchange. Apollo threw a rock at his head and glared at the other gods. His twin was _off-limits_ unless _she_ decided otherwise, and like the good big brother he was, Apollo would help her keep unwanted suitors away.

"Read, Thalia, read." Piper urged, looking slightly ill at her mother's antics.

 **"How do you know you're not a demigod?" Luke asked.**

 **"My mother, the one that adopted and raised me, has experience with demigods. She's very worldly." Naruto smiled softly as Luke narrowed his eyes.**

 **"How does she have experience with demigods?" Luke asked.**

 **"She's** _ **very**_ **worldly.**

"Big time, like this one time when we were in Mississippi-"

"Thalia, ix-nay on the ississippi-May." Artemis whispered out, having calmed down somewhat from Aphrodite's ghastly advances.

"Oh, right." Thalia nodded before she continued.

 **You could say she's clear sighted, too." Naruto chuckled. "Far better sight than I have. Anyone, really."**

 **"Why haven't gods gone after her, then?" Luke asked.**

Artemis scoffed. "They tried, but learned."

"I can still feel them, _all_ of them." Hermes whispered with a haunted look on his face while he rubbed his rear.

 **Naruto smirked. "My uncle is** _ **very**_ **protective of her. He's got wicked aim and a bit of a sadistic streak to him. Almost killed a guy for making a pass at her."**

 **"...And this would scare a god?" Luke asked in disbelief.**

Apollo smiled brightly. "Bitch, I scare people. Why do you think people were brown pants?"

"For fashion?" Piper dared to ask, getting a squeal of joy from her mother.

"Because of me!" the sun god answered, as if he didn't even hear the girl.

 **Naruto grinned, a feral-like smirk plastered on his face under his mask. "Gods are smart. They know a bad idea when they see it. Going after my mother...possibly the worst idea imaginable."**

 **"...Your family sounds awesome." Luke commented.**

Hermes threw his hands in the air. "Thank you!"

 **Naruto looked up at the sky. "They are. They've got faults too, though. Mom doesn't like a lot of guys and her adopted daughters, my sisters, aren't fans, either. I left because it made them...uncomfortable."** _ **And because it was against old laws.**_

"Unless he chops it off, he's out." Thalia threw her thumb over her shoulder like an umpire.

"…Seriously?" Leo asked with a gulp.

"Or I could change you into a girl." Artemis grinned at the demigod. "Care to try, Leo Valdez?"

"Oh, uh, I, um, I don't think girly parts would look good on me," Leo said with a nervous laugh.

"But Leo," Piper smiled. "It's what on the inside that counts."

"Chica, you're scaring me!" Leo made a cross with his fingers and leaned away from her when she leaned in towards him.

 **"That sucks." Luke frowned. "Couldn't they have gotten over it?"**

 **Naruto shrugged. "Maybe. Doubt it. Doesn't matter. I decided to leave with my Uncle. He couldn't stay with me long, though. He's got a job that keeps him away."**

 **"Well...At least you don't have monsters after you." Luke joked.**

 **Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out his die. He looked it over and his eyes became hard. "Yeah...no monsters..."**

 **"Cool die. Where'd you get it?" Luke asked.**

 **"Picked it up when I was tracking you guys down." Naruto flicked it into the air and caught it. "Was getting bored and figured being in a group of demigods would be better than running around Richmond pretending to be a superhero."**

 **Luke frowned. His guard went up like rock walls at Naruto's comment. "...So...what exactly spurred on this get up?"**

 **Naruto looked at his die. "I wanted to make a difference...**

"Starting line of every superhero ever." Apollo nodded while Artemis frowned slightly.

"Don't they usually get crippled by their traumas and the ware of their job? I don't think it's healthy in the long run." The moon goddess objected slightly.

"Come on, he's cool like this though." Thalia told her Lady.

"You say that because your other likes him. Or because you have a thing for blonds with blue eyes."

"Hypocrite." Thalia accused while she glared at the goddess of love's daughter.

Piper snuggled against Jason. "I know what I like and freely admit it~"

 **And keep my home safe."**

 **"And now?" Luke asked.**

 **Naruto looked at him. A soft light appeared in his eyes. "I felt some other kids needed to find a home, too."**

 **Luke fought the smile that spread across his face for a moment before he held his hand out. "Glad to have you. Luke Castellan."**

 **Naruto looked at the hand for a moment before he pocketed his die and took hold of it.**

 **"Naruto, but my legal name is Nathan Blank."**

"Bla-a-ank." Percy rolled the name across his tongue and frowned. "That's a terrible last name. It's empty."

"That's kind of the point, I would guess. He doesn't know his last name." Hazel reminded him.

"Still, he could have picked something with… _pep_." Nico commented.

"Says the cheerleader himself." Thalia rolled her eyes.

 **"Die!" Thalia cried out as she stabbed another hellhound in the head. It had been a few months since the mortal had joined up with them.**

"A few months?" Percy asked with a blink. He turned to his girlfriend with a confused frown. "I thought it was a single summer, not a year, that you guys met up?"

"Well, keeping track of the days was hard. Plus I was a kid!" Annabeth defended herself with a light blush.

Thalia shrugged. "I didn't care, it could have been years for all I know. Sure felt like it."

Percy just looked confused as hell by this. He had so many questions and that didn't help at all!

 **Naruto kept to the shadows mostly and was great when it came to deciding where one should camp. More sleep filled nights were had than if they had been without him. He was also good at finding weapons and supplies. Something about tricks his mother and sisters taught him.**

"Aw, he's already prepping you for the Hunt, Thalia." Annabeth giggled.

"Or you!" Thalia shot back.

"Not happening. Ever." The wisdom child retorted.

She grinned Percy rewarded her loyalty with a peck on the cheek.

 **A silver arrowhead flew inches from Thalia's head, over her shoulder and into a jumping hellhound's eye socket. The guy was a natural survivor and he made up for what she and Luke lacked, a ranged support. Naruto was an ace shot with his thrown weapons. Thalia didn't know when the guy slept, but it had to be less than an hour each night. Seriously, the amount of times Naruto saved the demigods' lives in their sleep was surprisingly high.**

"Things that go bump in the night~"

Hazel nudged Nico with her elbow. "Stop that. That creepy voice is overrated."

Nico grumbled, he worked hard on that one…Will helped, too.

 **"They just keep coming," Thalia said in tired outrage. This was the fifth pack that had attacked them that night, and without looking, Thalia knew Luke was on his last legs, too. She frowned as he stumbled and narrowly escaped a hellhound's swipe with its front paw. Luke had been getting a bit more reckless. He'd attacked most monsters he could lay his eyes on, and in another time, it would've driven him and Thalia to exhaustion, near death. Each survival would've made them closer than they already were before.**

 **Now, with a third and, begrudgingly admitted, more talented fighter,**

"Ouch, I can hear her ego crying from that one." Percy sniggered.

"He's got better aim then you'll ever have, Wethead." Thalia grunted irritably.

"Oh, I know my aim sucks. I'm not afraid to admit stuff like that." Percy snarked, which got Thalia to release a bit of static in annoyance.

Even if it might have been, just a little bit (honestly!), true.

 **it had only made her increasingly agitated with the boy. Naruto had tried to explain that the run in with Hermes had made Luke unsettled, that there were just some things one had to figure out for themselves, but Thalia wouldn't buy it. Luke didn't think before he acted when he saw a monster, he didn't consider his, hers or even** _ **Annabeth's**_ **safety when they fought a monster.**

 **The girl in question was back with Naruto, close enough that he could grab her if needed, but able to hold her own against a hellhound. Her tactics got better with each night, and that could be attributed to Naruto's knowledge of hunting.**

 **"** _ **Mom likes to hunt." Naruto explained when asked how he knew all of this. "It was a simple way of life. You could call her a naturalist, I guess."**_

 **Thalia found it odd when he never gave a name to the woman he called 'Mom'. There was a sister he mentioned a lot, Zoë, but they never got an exact name for his mother. They knew his Uncle Fred through some zany stories about trips to Japan or China – Frankly, Thalia thought Uncle Fred was a perv**

Artemis opened with a slow clapped and then sped up, "Bravo Thalia, excellent eye on that detail."

"Oh, ha-ha-ha, make fun of me all you want. Sticks and stones!" Apollo huffed with his nose in the air.

"Yay!" Ares beamed and lifted up a big stone and a club.

"No." Zeus absentmindedly denied his war-monger of a son.

"Aww." Ares whined as he dropped his toys to the ground with thuds.

 **with all the women that would come up in the stories, but kept those to herself out of respect for the boy that travelled with them – but got no hints to his mother.**

 **Ms. Blank was an apt name, as Thalia couldn't think of anything else to call the woman other than Naruto's Mom.**

 **"There's another pack coming!" Naruto's warning came along with the howls of more hellhounds. Thalia grimaced. There were too many. She and Luke were exhausted – hell, Thalia could barely manage a single spark by the third pack of hellhounds – Annabeth could barely handle one Hellhound, and Naruto was probably low on silver.**

 **"We can handle it!" Luke managed to get out as he cut another hellhound down. "It's got to be the last group!"**

"And thus, they were eaten alive by the wave after the 'last' group." Nico declared, before his head bowed. "Good night sweet prince, thou truly a fool."

Apollo clapped slowly. "It was good."

"Thanks." Nico smiled.

"Though you could use a few tweaks. I suggest the drama course at camp. Works wonders for a kid's acting career."

"I know people." Hades told his son. Nico hummed, mildly intrigued by this.

"Nico in showbiz?" Percy whispered to Jason.

Jason shrugged, he didn't even know what to think about it.

 **"Luke, there's too many!" Naruto sounded closer than before and Thalia caught sight of him. His cloak was gone, torn to shreds earlier when the third pack nearly flanked them. Like herself and Luke, Naruto had cuts on his body from the hellhound's claws getting too close. The mask around his face was ripped slightly on the left, the side that faced her, and revealed one of his whisker marks.**

 **"W-We need to run!" Annabeth agreed from where she clung to Naruto's back. Her leg had a large cut on it and Thalia saw the younger girl blink away the tears.**

 **"Annie, you okay?" Thalia asked. She turned and stabbed another Hellhound with her spear. A final lunged at her but was nailed in the side of the skull by a silver arrowhead. Thalia glowered at Naruto before she looked to the younger blonde on his back.**

 **"I'm okay, just hurts a bit." The admittance was quiet, but at least she was honest. Acting tough was stupid, even when supplies were limited. Naruto made that clear when Luke got a gash in his arm and tried to brush it off.**

 **"** _ **Would you rather die because you were so stubborn that you bled out, or would you like to ensure that we**_ _ **all**_ _ **make it to the next safe house?"**_

"I'm glad to see he inherited the blunt honesty." Apollo smiled at his twin. "You learn so well from your big bro."

Artemis scoffed. "Your influence means nothing with how I act. Except how much of a pig you can be."

"But I love being a ham!" Apollo declared proudly.

Hermes, who was eating some bacon, nodded in agreement. "It's true, he makes the best bacon!"

"It's smoked over my engine." Apollo shone with pride. "Natural sunlight is the best cooker, ever."

 **Naruto was curt, but not unkind. He genuinely cared about all of them, even though he was a bit distant. It was like he expected them to leave him behind sometime.**

 **"Glad to hear it." Thalia nodded. She looked at Luke as he finished off his hellhound. They looked at the last pack that was heading towards them. Luke steadied his ground and Thalia glared at him. "Luke, come on!"**

 **"I can catch up!" Luke called over to them. He sounded just as exhausted as Thalia felt.**

 **Naruto gave an annoyed grunt. "Oh, now he wants to be the-?" Naruto stopped abruptly and turned to the woods behind them. He hissed out a swear that Thalia felt was a bit too inappropriate for Annabeth's ears.**

 **"What's that mean?" Annabeth asked.**

Artemis glowered at Apollo. "Did you teach him that?"

"What? No! Scouts honor!" Apollo swore. "It must have been one of your hunters, humph!"

"What! They would never!"

Apollo pointed to Thalia. "Foul mouth girl, number _one_!"

"My language is not that bad." Thalia grumbled to refute her use as an example.

"No, it was you. It's always you!" Artemis sneered at Apollo. The sun god turned to Zeus and pointed at his twin.

"Dad! Artemis is picking me for no reason again!" Apollo cried. The moon goddess pointed at Apollo as she looked at the King.

"Father, make him admit it!"

"Enough! Stop acting like children!" Zeus ordered as he glared at the two. "If this continues I will ground you, Artemis, and I'll worsen your punishment, Apollo!"

The twins pouted and slumped down in their thrones unhappily, both of them pouting and crossing their arms over their chests.

Zeus rubbed his face and glared at his amused brothers.

 **"Tell you when you're older," Thalia said as she frowned at the older boy. "What?"**

 **"I need to leave. Luke should come with me." Naruto mumbled.**

 **Thalia narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"**

 **Naruto shook his head. "Never mind. It's too late." He crouched down and slipped Annabeth from his back. "Annie, stand next to Thalia."**

"Do you hear it?" Thalia held a hand to her ear. "They come!"

"Like creatures of the night, it's the bat-groupies." Nico mumbled lowly.

"He's not Batman!" Piper argued with a huff. "He's Moon Knight!"

 **"But-"**

 **Naruto didn't tear his eyes from the forest. "Annabeth, just do it."**

 **The force he used behind his order had Annabeth back away and stumble into Thalia. The older girl let Annabeth keep her weight off of her leg and they watched as Naruto turned towards the hellhounds. He reached behind him and pulled a large, silver arrowhead from his back pouch. It was easily large enough to fit on a pole to make a spear.**

 **"Run to the forest." Naruto softly instructed. "Luke and I will cover you."**

 **"What?!" Okay, why were boys so stupid?**

"I have a simple answer for that." Artemis smiled and cleared her throat as a _very_ long parchment appeared in her hands. "I have written a thesis on it with the aid of Athena."

"Always willing to help further education." The wisdom goddess smirked.

"Indeed. Now, first and foremost–"

"Oh gods," Thalia said under her breath in horror, she had heard this speech once, she didn't want to hear it again! She turned and looked at the goddess with a nervous smile. "Lady Artemis, can you save it for later? I'm sort of reading here."

Artemis frowned and her paper vanished. "Very well, then I will read it after this chapter."

"Or never." The males mumbled. They did not need nor desired to hear a feminist bashing on their gender.

 **Thalia scowled and opened her mouth to call them both idiots, but she stopped when Naruto's eyes met hers.**

 **Cold orbs of ice had replaced the warm ocean blues that once rested in his eyes.**

 **"I said** _ **go**_ **."**

 **Thalia frowned and put her shield away. She let Annabeth climb onto her back and started to back up.**

 **Luke looked at her over his shoulder. "What are you waiting for!? Get going!"**

 **Thalia grit her teeth and turned to run. She ignored Annabeth's questions about the two idiots she'd left behind. Thalia was mere feet from the woods when the first arrow shot over her shoulder. She came to a stop and dropped to the ground. Thalia pulled Annabeth around and covered her with her own body.**

 **"Fire!" A voice called from the woods before more arrows shot from them. There were pained howls and the sound of brush being moved. There were more arrows fired, it sounded like someone had just decided to rip a bunch of cardboard at once, and even more howls.**

"Da-da-da da-da, da-da-da da-da, da-da-da da-da, da, da, da dah~!" Ares sang out, almost beautifully. If only for not that cruel gleefulness in his voice that is. He cackled cruelly. "Die, die, die!"

"Wrong theme." Zeus frowned at his son for using the infamous song based on _Norse_ mythology.

"Still a good tune." The war god argued with a wave of his hand.

 **Thalia kept down and quiet until a hand placed itself on her shoulder.**

 **"Hey there." The voice was gentle and feminine, and caused Thalia to look up. A girl her age or maybe a year older smiled down at her. Her hair was brown and green eyes looked down at her with care. Oddly enough, like Naruto, the girl was clad in a silver cloak. "I'm Melissa, are you all right?"**

 **"...Thalia." Thalia decided after a minute. She got up with Annabeth and looked at the young blonde's injured leg. "I'm fine, but she needs some bandages."**

 **"Wow, at least it's a shallow cut. Thalia come with-!"**

 **"Milady!" A voice called from behind Thalia. Thalia and Melissa turned to see two other girls coming back from the clearing. Behind them, Luke followed with a frown on his face. His sword was in one of the girls' hands, but they were down a person.**

 **Naruto wasn't with them.**

"Well, someone doesn't want to see mommy! I can only wonder why?" Aphrodite asked mockingly, a pointed look thrown to the Huntress.

Artemis kept her face straight, but inwardly frowned. Why did he run away? Was he that upset with her for forcing him to leave?

 **The girl that had called out was taller and a bit older than Thalia and looked a bit like a Persian princess with that dumb tiara on her head. She came to a stop in front of a younger girl, around twelve or thirteen if Thalia had to guess, with dark auburn hair pulled back into a pony tail. She had a circlet of her own on her head, with a familiar symbol in the middle of her forehead.**

 **A crescent moon.**

"Mama Arte is in the house!" Apollo whooped as Artemis rolled her eyes at her twin's hyper attitude.

"She will judge you for being associated with Naruto." Leo told Thalia.

"No she won't." Thalia scoffed and looked at Artemis. "Right?"

Artemis tapped her chin, her lips forming a teasing smile. "Perhaps and perhaps not."

Thalia felt nervous for her other now.

 **Thalia stared at the moon and found herself distracted long enough before she registered the conversation as the older girl spoke with the younger.**

 **"Are you sure?"**

 **"He was here." The older girl urgently mumbled. She held her hand out and a glint of silver caught Thalia's eye.**

 **The younger girl took the object from the older's hand with a small frown on her face. Her eyes, cold and bright like the moon above them, looked it over before she clenched it tightly in her grasp. She looked back at the taller girl.**

 **"Come along," Melissa said as she took Annabeth into her arms and turned. "We have started to set camp for the night. You'll be safe with us."**

 **Thalia strained her ears as she, Annabeth and Luke were led away. "...A Hunter with...find him and end..."**

 **It was gone, they were too far. Thalia scowled and looked at Luke. "Where's 'N'?"**

 **"Don't know." Luke muttered under his breath. He looked pissed. "One second he's there fighting hellhounds with me, and the next he's gone. He might've said something, but I was too busy to hear him. Next thing I know, bunch of arrows made of silver are falling from the sky and taking out the Hellhounds." Luke looked at the girl that led him. "Thanks, by the way."**

 **"Spare us your gratitude," Melissa said with a scowl. Thalia frowned, that was an abrupt turn around. "If you wanted to thank us, you should've stepped-!"**

 **"Melissa!" Another girl, this one with yellow hair like straw and sky blue eyes snapped. She stepped up and tossed Luke a roll of bandages and a bottle. "Here. Fix yourself up,** _ **boy**_ **."**

"Ah, the Hunter bedside manner. Glad to see that it's still the same, even then." Percy nodded to himself.

"I know, it was like a five star hotel." Leo snorted in agreement.

Thalia grunted. "I'm working on it, thank you very much."

 **It was nicer than Melissa, but it was still a bit harsh. Thalia frowned as the girl sat them down and took care of Annabeth's cut. She took a glance at some of the surrounding girls and noted their glares directed at Luke, who shifted uneasily as he treated a cut on his shoulder.**

 **"What's your problem?" Thalia asked the one that was helping Annabeth. "What did Luke do to you guys?"**

 **"** _ **He**_ **has done nothing...yet.** _ **He**_ **will, I'm sure." Melissa answered scornfully.**

"So, do we make donations, or do we gotta do a funny dance to _not_ get the death glares from hunters?" Leo asked Thalia. He gave her two thumbs up and a winning grin. "Because I do a _mean_ Macarena."

Jason pulled at his pockets and found nothing but lint. "I might have to join him."

"Oh please, do so," Piper said, barely holding back her giggles.

"We do accept donations, but it does not lessen any hate for the lesser sex." Artemis told the boys.

"She says it so casually." Frank murmured to Percy.

The son of Poseidon shrugged. "You get used to it, I think. She seems chill with me at least."

"You saved her life," Nico dryly said. "Of course she'd be 'chill' with you."

 **The one treating Annabeth stopped and frowned at her. "Melissa, isn't there a watch you need to join?"**

 **Melissa huffed and walked off while the girl that was assisting Annabeth looked at Thalia.**

 **"We are the Hunters of Artemis."**

 **That certainly cleared up the questions in Thalia's head. More were raised, though. Like what were those two Hunters talking about? How did Naruto know the Hunters were here? How did he know about the Hunters at all? Why did Naruto disappear and leave Luke to the hellhounds?**

"Because he didn't want to get grounded," Apollo said as if it was obvious. "Arte's a cruel grounder, let me tell you."

"Poor Megan." Thalia shook her head. She wondered if Artemis had changed her back from a squirrel after setting off that prank on her when it had been meant for Stacy.

 **And the biggest question: where was Naruto now?**

 **"Ow, ow, ow..." Naruto hissed as he pulled a silver arrowhead out of his side slowly and carefully. He was seated against a tree at least a mile from the clearing. Or, at least, he hoped it was a mile. Naruto didn't exactly want to be found by the Hunters. That wasn't a reunion he wanted to have.**

 **Ever.**

"Harsh." Apollo whispered loudly, only to be swatted at by a frowning Artemis.

"Why did they have to hit him?" The goddess muttered to herself. They were supposed to have keen aim! Unless they were aiming for him...Oh, for the love of the moon! Artemis palmed herself in the head.

 **First things first, he needed to get the arrow out of him before he bled out or it got infected. Naruto reached into his pouch and pulled out one of his crescent moon shuriken. He used it like a plier, giving a hiss as he opened the wound to grab the arrowhead. Carefully, he dislodged the projectile from his side. It wasn't without a scream that the arrow left his body.**

 **Naruto took heavy breaths and pressed his hand against his side. He grit his teeth and used his other hand to pull his second pouch around. He always had small quick fix supplies in this one. After a bit of digging, Naruto found what he needed.**

 **A needle and thread.**

 **He grimaced. This was going to hurt like hell.**

"He could sing a hymn to me." Apollo pouted. He was the awesome uncle with the hookup! Well, hopefully his other at least taught the boy to properly stich a wound so he didn't end up like Frankenstein di Angelo.

 **"Ouch, that looks painful."**

 **Naruto looked up and glowered at the one that smiled down at him.**

 **"Khonsu..." Naruto grumbled. "Not in the mood for your crap right now."**

 **Khonsu gained a wounded frown and put his hand on his chest. "Ouch, that hurts me right here, Naruto. I thought we were friends!"**

 **"We're not." Naruto grit out as he tried to thread the needle with one hand. It did not go well.**

 **"You know, I could help you with that," Khonsu said nonchalantly.**

 **"Thanks, but I'll pass. There's no such thing as a free lunch," Naruto said through gritted teeth.**

"Amen." All the demigods agreed to that.

 **Khonsu frowned. "You're no fun."**

 **"Bite me."**

 **"Now that's just rude." Khonsu crossed his arms over his chest and his necklaces gleamed in the moonlight. He watched Naruto struggle with the needle and thread for another minute before he sighed. "Now this is just sad."**

"Shh, we're reveling in his struggle." Ares grinned. Or at least the war god was, he didn't care what the others were thinking.

 **He snapped his fingers and the needle became threaded. Khonsu pointed at the wound and the needle began to stitch up the gash. Naruto grit his teeth and his nails dug into the ground. It took a few minutes, but the wound was stitched shut.**

 **"There, don't say I never did anything nice for you," Khonsu said with a smirk.**

"That'll cost you half a lung." Hermes said as he read from a clip board. He offered it to Frank with a smile on his face. "Just sign the bottom line."

"Um, no thanks." The son of Mars nervously refused.

"Damn." Hermes clicked his tongue and pulled the clipboard back. "They're learning."

 **Naruto grimaced. "What do you want?"**

 **"Nothing...yet, anyway. Just came to check up on you."**

 **"While the Hunters were on my trail?" Naruto asked dryly.**

 **Khonsu's smirk dimmed. "They cannot find you, Naruto.** _ **She**_ **will know of our interactions. You should leave as soon as possible."**

 **Naruto shook his head stubbornly. "I can't leave the others behind."**

 **Khonsu pursed his lips before he sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Alright, well I tried to warn you. Might as well let you know that another is on your tail aside from the Hunters."**

"What?" Artemis sucked in air through her teeth.

"Ooh, a real fight scene." Ares smiled widely.

"Then what were the last ones?" Thalia asked her half-brother rudely.

"Meh, not entertaining." Ares waved the hunter off.

 **Naruto looked at the Egyptian god sharply. "Another** _ **what**_ **?"**

"Tell us!" Percy declared with his fist in the air.

"A bed time story?" Apollo innocently asked with a child's book in his hands.

"N-No, what the thing after Naruto is." Percy said lamely. Great, there went his epic moment.

 **"He should find you sometime soon." Khonsu continued without acknowledging Naruto's question. "Word of advice, don't bring up the subject of your mother or father. He'll never shut up about it. Hot tempered, that one." Khonsu dusted his sleeve off and looked up. "Huh, would you look at that? An hour passed. How time flies."**

 **Naruto grimaced as Khonsu faded from view. As a god of Time, he could control the flow of time. When they first met, Khonsu had frozen their small place in time so they could converse. It had set Naruto a week behind the trio of demigods he followed, before he caught up to them again. It seemed this time, Khonsu wasn't as willing to do something so chaotic.**

"Wow, wish I was a time god, that would be so helpful!" Hermes said with whimsy. He smiled happily. "I could nap more…the potential for pranks too."

"It's never going to happen." Zeus warned his son. Having the Titan of Time nearly come back was bad enough. Toss in a time using Hermes and they'd all be in trouble.

Hermes snapped his fingers. "Dang nabbit!"

 **Naruto waited for the stitching to hold, for the blood flow to slow, before he patched it with some fabric he tore from his leg and tape that was in his pouch. With a bit of effort, the mortal got back to his feet. He took a few steps and braced himself against a tree while he held his injured side. As per the norm, Naruto was right.**

 **That hurt like hell.**

 **Naruto clenched his hand into a fist and stubbornly pushed on. He disappeared into the shadows of the woods. He would have to travel downwind once he found the nearest creek or sewer to clear away his scent. The Hunters were after him, and it would be a cold day in the Underworld before he was found.**

"That sounds like an extreme version of hide and seek. Do the Hunters do that, Thalia?" Reyna asked curiously.

Thalia frowned. "We don't play hide and go seek. We do training exercises for stealth and tracking."

"Basically hide and seek," Artemis said bluntly. She wasn't going to lie. She loved that game. She always beat Apollo whenever they played it.

"Lady Artemis!" Thalia protested while her cheeks flushed. That was so not cool to just blurt out. The punk had a rep to protect, dammit!

 **"He sat here," a Hunter said softly as she pressed her hand against a tree. "And dug the arrow out of his side."**

 **"Amazing that he didn't leave a blood trail." Another commented. There was a hint of scorn in her words. "I'd have thought he'd forget how to live like us when he left with his** _ **uncle**_ **."**

 **"Creusa, watch thy tongue." The first Hunter warned. Her eyes narrowed as she looked around the area. The dirt a few feet away from this spot was disturbed, as though another person stood there. Something was wrong.**

 **"I apologize, Zoë, but tell me, why do we care?" Creusa asked. She crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. "He's just another boy now, but at least he has a bit of brains to stay away."**

 **Zoë turned and frowned at the Hunter. "He is our Lady's son and he's been missing for seven months. Not even the gods can find him."**

 **"Why do we have to?" Creusa asked again. "He's a** _ **boy**_ **."**

 **"He's our Lady's son." Zoë repeated herself firmly.**

"Wait a minute..." A grin spread across Thalia's face before she laughed. "Oh damn, Zoë cares! Who'd have thought?"

"Of course she would have." Artemis frowned. "She wasn't that heartless to boys."

Thalia and Percy let out a pair of snorts, clearly showing their disagreement.

 **She turned and walked further into the woods as a small frown crossed her face. There was one answer that she had to know now more than ever, a question she will undoubtedly share with her patron.**

 _ **Who were you speaking with, little brother?**_

"She can be salvaged!" Aphrodite gleefully exclaimed. She began to wring her hands together like a wicked witch. "Now just a little more into the naughty territory and bam! I got her right where I want her."

"I'd love to see you try." Artemis said with a smirk. "You've failed at every attempt to turn Zoë, Aphrodite. You need to accept defeat."

"Never!" The love goddess declared vehemently. After all, everyone needed their chance at love.

 **A small meal, some kind of stew was offered to the three demigods, and they took it. Annabeth had a few pleasant conversations with the other Hunters, but for the most part, Thalia and Luke urged her to stay away from them. Now they were settled together in a small tent offered by a hunter for them, and Annabeth slept soundly next to Luke while the boy and Thalia spoke quietly to one another.**

 **"He wanted you and him to leave," Thalia said to the miffed boy that sat with them. Luke was still sore that Naruto had vanished in the middle of the fight. "He knew that the Hunters were coming..."**

 **"How!?" Luke shot back lowly. "How did he know? He's keeping something from us, Thalia, and** _ **if**_ **he comes back, we need to find out what it is."**

 **"Nar-Whiskers** _ **will**_ **come back." Thalia rebuffed Luke's concern. Naruto hadn't left them thus far and he'd had many chances to do so during their journey together. "And we'll get answers when he does."**

 **Their makeshift tent was opened by the Persian princess that had the hushed conversation before. She looked at Luke with hardly concealed distain and then looked at Thalia with a bit more approval.**

"I've come with an offer you cannot refuse," Nico said with his best Godfather impression.

"But Godfather, I wanna be datable for a little while longer." Percy let out a whimper.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow this."

"Knock it off you chuckle heads." Thalia shook her head at her idiot cousins. So annoying.

 **"My Lady would wish to speak with thee." The girl said curtly. Luke started to join Thalia in getting up, but he was stopped by a glare. "Not thou,** _ **boy**_ **.** _ **Thou**_ **shall stay and watch the child."**

 **Luke frowned and held his tongue while Thalia frowned outright. Luke may have been acting like an idiot lately, but that didn't give this chick the right to talk down to her friend like that. Thalia made to open her mouth and say this, but a shake of the head from Luke told her to let it slide. They weren't exactly on their home turf right now.**

 **Thalia quietly left the tent and followed the taller girl to a larger tent of silver with a crescent moon on the front. She stole glances and noticed the tension that had overcome the Hunters. Like they were all torn from being elated or upset at some news.**

"We hate him, we like him, we hate him, we like him," Piper said, pretending to pluck flower petals, "Oh the conflicting emotions. I'd hate to see you guys arguing over what food was better."

"Burgers." Thalia said sternly. "We even cast a vote."

"And how many did you bribe?" Jason asked dryly.

"…Only a few." The hunter mumbled and quickly continued to read.

 **Beyond that, Thalia saw that there were a few white wolves that looked like they were patrolling the camp.**

 **Melissa walked out of the tent with a frown directed at Thalia, but nodded to the other girl. "She's waiting for you."**

 **"I am aware." The girl walked past without another word. Thalia followed and entered the tent. The interior was filled with furs of all sorts of animals, a few looked like hellhound furs. In the center of the tent were a few cushions set before a table, and on the other side sat the same young Hunter from before, the one with the crescent moon on her circlet.**

 **"My lady, I've brought the girl as you requested." The leading Hunter, the Persian princess as Thalia dubbed her, stopped and bowed. She sent a cross look to Thalia when she noticed the girl just stood there. The Hunter righted herself and scowled at the girl. "Have thou no manners, girl?"**

 **"Enough, Zoë, I don't think she knows who I am. That's forgivable." The young girl smiled at Thalia before her form shone brightly. Thalia had to close her eyes and look away before she looked back to see an older version of the girl seated behind the table. The beauty of this woman was even more prominent than before and Thalia found herself a little envious.**

"So, you do want to grow up?" Annabeth asked curiously.

"Well, when you see something like that…" Thalia trailed off.

"Hm, so I should just stay in my child form, it seems." Artemis thoughtfully rubbed her chin.

 **The woman smiled slightly at her. "My name is Artemis, and this is my lieutenant Zoë Nightshade."**

 **Thalia certainly felt stupefied at the proclamation before she took a seat at one of the cushions offered to her. "You're Artemis? Like, the goddess of the Moon?"**

 **"Yes." Artemis nodded. "And the goddess of the Hunt."**

 **"...Wow." It was all Thalia could really say. "W-What do you want from me?"**

 **Artemis smiled gently at her. "Well, I just want to ask you a few questions."**

 **"Questions?" Thalia frowned. "Like what?"**

 **"Would you like to join the Hunt?" Artemis' question was blunt and to the point. It would have thrown Thalia off guard if she wasn't used to blunt questions from Naruto.**

 **"** _ **To skirt around an issue is to waste time, time that could cost someone a life. It's better to be blunt and get the issue out in the air."**_

"You know, the opposite of what Aphrodite does." Artemis smirked at the love goddess, who huffed in annoyance.

"Please, playing around an issue is where the drama lies!"

 **Thalia frowned slightly, which caused Artemis to frown as well. "What do you mean?"**

 **"For every young girl, around your age and a bit older, I ask them to join me in the Hunt. To slay monsters at my side for eternity."**

 _ **Slay monsters for eternity...**_ **That certainly sounded nice to Thalia. Get some payback for the horror she was put through over the years. Thalia crossed her arms. "What's the catch?"**

"No boys," Zeus said firmly. He did not find this to be too bad of a fault. While he was not initially for his demigod daughter to join her half-sister, he liked it afterwards.

Even if she didn't become the child of the Great Prophecy.

 **"The catch." Artemis hummed and then shook her head. "It is not guaranteed immortality, you could still fall in battle, but you must swear an oath to the Hunt. To forsake the foolhardiness of love or boys."**

 **That was it? No way, it wasn't that easy. Thalia looked around the cabin as her thoughts ran wild. Her eyes landed on a small metal box set on a yellow blanket slightly behind Artemis. It was, like many other things, shaped like a crescent moon. There was something unnatural about it though. Thalia couldn't put her finger on it, but it put her off.**

 **"The question is simple, thou should answer before we take thy silence as a no!" Zoë hissed impatiently.**

"Kitty's got claws." Leo whistled.

"She's more anxious this time," Thalia noted. Man, she really is nervous over Naruto. If she wasn't being such a jerk to my other, I might gush about that."

"You gush?" Percy asked with a skeptical brow raised.

"I have my moments," the hunter replied tersely. It wasn't a proud thing for her to admit.

 **Thalia glared at her and Zoë glared back, but her eyes flickered to the box that Thalia had noticed. Something about it made Zoë uneasy. What was so special about the damn metal moon?**

 **"Zoë," Artemis said sternly, and her gaze had the lieutenant back off. The goddess looked back at Thalia. "It is a simple yes or no, Thalia."**

 **"...What about my friends?" Thalia asked softly. Luke couldn't keep Annabeth safe alone and, what if, he was right and Naruto ran off for good? Naruto was just a mortal, a weird one, but a mortal nonetheless. He** _ **didn't**_ **have to stick around with a bunch of demigods and risk his life for them.**

"Yeah, I doubt we could have made it that far without you," Annabeth said with a smile to her immortal friend.

"Someone had to shock all the monsters." Thalia grinned back lightly.

 **"If the girl were a bit older, she'd be in here with you, being asked the same question. As it is now, she is too young to make a decision without understanding the consequences."**

 **"So there** _ **are**_ **consequences, huh?" Thalia asked. Artemis arched a brow in bemusement while Zoë scowled outright. Thalia crossed her arms and waited, but neither rose to the bait.**

 **Artemis continued despite the question asked not being answered. "The** _ **boy**_ **, well, I suppose I should tell him where to go, but someone must surely be looking for him by now."**

 **"You'd just throw him to the wolves?" Thalia asked with a frown.**

 **Zoë scoffed and muttered scornfully. "That would be too kind."**

"Uh, harsh much?" Hermes frowned at Artemis.

"Give it a moment." The huntress waved off.

 **"Zoë!" Artemis snapped curtly.**

"See?"

Hermes mumbled a half-hearted "Thank you."

 **Thalia, however, wasn't so quick to forgive the discrimination this time. "What's your deal, Princess?"**

 **Zoë glared at the girl and looked to the goddess. "Apologies, milady, but shouldn't this wait until after our search is completed? This girl is already used to the** _ **boy's**_ **company and-!"**

 **"The** _ **boy**_ **has a name and his** _ **name**_ **is Luke!" Thalia retorted with a frown. "And like it or not,** _ **he**_ **is my friend!"**

"And...now it's time for the downward spiral." Thalia grimaced as she read on, this was going to be inwardly painful.

 **Zoë frowned back at her. "Thou are a fool!"**

 **"Only fool I see around here is you, Princess!"**

Leo snapped his fingers is a sassy fashion. "Oh no she di-n't~"

 **"That** _ **boy**_ **will turn on thou as soon as it suits him."**

"Hey, telling the future is my thing." Apollo pouted with crossed arms.

 **"Don't say that like you know him!" Thalia growled.**

 **Zoë scoffed. "He's like any other** _ **man**_ **on this planet, concerned only to sate the needs and desires of their real bra-!"**

"She's not fully wrong." Athena commented and gave pointed looks to the males in her family. Each one refused to look her in the eyes at her statement, because it was sort of correct in a way.

 **"Zoë, that is enough!" Artemis words were quick as a whip and the lieutenant became silent. The tension was high and Artemis sighed before she looked at the static that danced across Thalia's hands. "I apologize, Thalia. I know that...Luke, is your friend. This decision is hard, perhaps, another time, I shall ask you. If we meet again, maybe circumstances will be different."**

 **"Doubt it." Thalia scowled and made to rise.**

"Says the new lieutenant." Artemis chuckled as Thalia's face colored pink.

"Yeah, ha-ha, good one Lady Artemis." Thalia said weakly. She pouted. Could her other stop embarrassing her already?

 **Artemis raised her hand and stopped her.**

 **"Before you go, I have another question." Artemis waited for Thalia to sit back down and then pulled out a silver arrowhead that made Thalia's eyes widen. One of the same arrowheads Naruto used when he fought monsters. You could tell because, unlike the arrows of the hunters, there was no way to attach a shaft to them. Artemis must've seen Thalia's eyes widen, because her silvery ones narrowed. "You've seen this before, I take it?"**

 **"Yeah, all of your Hunters have them," Thalia said quickly. She crossed her arms again and looked away, her gaze returned to the metal box behind Artemis. What the hell was it? Why did it make her wary?**

 **Why did it feel like it didn't belong?**

"It obviously has boy cooties on it. Burn it in a holy fire." Piper declared.

Leo lit up his hands.

"I said in a _holy_ fire, Leo."

Leo closed his palms, crossing his arms. "Well, see if I burn anything for you again, humph!"

"Leo, you're the farthest thing from being a saint," Piper said dryly.

"My statement still stands!"

"Eh, I'll just buy a zippo lighter."

 **"This is not one of my Hunters' arrowheads, Thalia." Artemis' voice was low. "This belongs to someone outside of the Hunt, someone we've been looking for, for a long time now."**

 **Thalia frowned. "What do you want with Whiskers?"**

 **Artemis paused and a small chuckle came from her lips. Thalia's brows furrowed and she looked to Zoë, surprised to see a faint ghost of a smile on the princess' own features. Thalia looked back to the goddess, her frown still in place.**

 **"What's so funny?"**

 **Artemis sighed, a smile on her face. "It's an apt nickname, I suppose."**

 **"Yes it is, Milady." Zoë nodded. "Shame we did not consider it. A blessing, even, that Lord Apollo doesn't know of it."**

 **"Indeed it is."**

"Yeah, I would shamelessly rib him about it." Apollo nodded. He could totally understand where the two were coming from.

 **Thalia scowled. "Wanna let me in on the joke here?"**

 **Artemis turned and grabbed the two items that Thalia kept finding herself drawn to look at. Up close, they were even more out of place. The yellow cloth was not a fur, but a blanket with a golden sun etched into it, from what Thalia could make out despite the folds. The crescent moon metal box, however, was still a puzzle. Artemis pressed the side and the top opened. A mobile with shapes of stars and small moons popped out, and the song "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" began to play.**

 **Thalia's brow shot up and her jaw dropped as she put the pieces together.**

"She just blew her mind." Frank laughed and Hazel giggled.

"I'd be slack jawed after that discovery, too." The geokinetic admitted.

"I think everyone would be." Jason agreed. "It's not something you'd learn every day."

 **Her eyes went to Artemis and she thought over things that Naruto had said. He vaguely hinted to his past, never once revealing who his adoptive mother was.**

 **"** _ **I left. Had to. My sisters were starting to drive me nuts."**_

 **"** _ **Mom likes to hunt."**_

 **"** _ **Older sisters. They're awesome. A bit ...hardheaded sometimes, but they've got good hearts."**_

 **"** _ **You could call her a naturalist."**_

 **"Oh my God." Thalia looked at Artemis. "You're Naruto's mom."**

"What was your first clue?" Nico asked Thalia snidely. "The giant moon crown on her head?

"No, the matching awesome silver motif." Thalia snarked back.

"...So she likes his silver suit, hm?"

Thalia flushed and glared at Aphrodite. "That's not what I meant!"

"But it is what you said~"

"Aphrodite, enough." Artemis huffed and looked at Thalia. "Thalia, read."

"Party pooper." "Yes, Lady Artemis."

 **Artemis smiled gently and turned the mobile off, where it folded away. "Yes...Yes I am."**

 **"Ow, gods above and across the world, that hurts." Naruto hissed as he slumped against a tree. His eyes drooped and his hand went to his poorly covered side. It burned, like nothing Naruto had ever felt before. A pained hiss left his lips.**

 _ **A mile to go.**_

 **Naruto groaned and rose up only to stumble and fall to the forest floor on his uninjured side.**

"It'd have been funnier if he landed on his injured side." Ares grunted in displeasure. He ignored the glare Artemis sent his way.

 **His wound was reopened, it had to be. That was the only reason it hurt so much. That or it was infected.**

 **Either way, Naruto had to push on.**

 **The fire came back, the burn was more intense than before. It was the most agonizing pain Naruto had ever felt in his life. Naruto stopped and braced himself on his hands and knees.**

 _ **Keep going.**_

"Come on, Naruto, be the little engine that could." Percy encouraged.

"You liked that one because it was blue, didn't you?" Annabeth asked. She already knew the answer to it if her smile was anything to go by.

"Hey, it was either that or Thomas the Train Engine, and those faces on trains scared me as a kid. Freaky googly eyes." Percy shuddered.

 **Naruto could hardly get back up, but somehow he managed to. He stumbled forward, using the trees as support. Eyes screwed shut as the pain flared. Naruto slumped down to his knees and took labored breaths.**

 **"Finally."**

 **A deep voice echoed around him as a shadow encompassed Naruto's body. The blond barely managed to jump away as a red hand-like claw smashed down into the ground where he once stood. The trees melted away into nothing and Naruto was left in a poorly illuminated area. Naruto's eyes moved up as a red claw overshadowed his form. He looked up beyond that and found a massive fox...with rabbit-like ears. Nine tails danced behind the creature and two blood red eyes glared down at Naruto with so much hatred, that Naruto could barely breathe.**

"Well, well, well... who do we have here?" Ares grinned cruelly. "Finally, we get a good fight scene, nice!"

 **"Uzumaki..." It snarled. "You are the last of your kind, the last that could potentially end me..."**

"There can only be one!" Leo declared.

"Wrong scenario." Frank shook his head.

"Oh, right...Get up on the Nine-tails' back, kid!"

 **"Wh-what?" Naruto asked. He bit down on his lip behind his mask as another flare of pain shot up around him. Naruto pressed his hand into his side and looked down at the wound. His eyes went wide as red...energy leaked from his side over his hand and slithered towards the massive fox.**

 **"You have my chakra. I want it back!" The claw rose back up and shot down right at Naruto's body. The middle claw on the fox's hand passed through Naruto's chest, and would've torn through his whole torso if it hadn't merely phased through him like a ghost.**

 **"What the Hell is going on!?" Naruto demanded around a pained cry.**

 **The fox snarled at him, its teeth bared as its eyes glared at him. "It seems our connection is not strong enough for me to simply kill you here,** _ **boy**_ **. I must wait until I reform to take back what is mine. Be ready Uzumaki, for when I do return, I will take your life."**

"And then ...the world!"

"That is _not_ funny." Zeus glared at the messenger god.

"J-Just a joke, pops, no worries." Hermes laughed weakly while he started to sweat under Zeus' gaze.

"Isn't he matched with Typhon in strength?" Athena pondered aloud, making Zeus nearly pale.

"Oh, dammit." The King groaned while Poseidon smirked at him.

"All you have to do is ask, Zeus..."

"Shut up, Poseidon."

 **"Who...** _ **what**_ **are you!?" Naruto asked.**

 **The fox snarled at him. "I am your death!" It lunged forward with its maw open wide and closed around Naruto's form before he could move.**

 **Naruto's eyes snapped open and jerked from where he rested in an abandoned bear's cave. He hissed and moved his hand to press against his side. Naruto looked down at the wound and pulled the tape away to look at the stitching. There was no sign of any of that red energy.**

 **Naruto scanned the outside of the cave he had hid himself in. It was set down wind of nearly every direction, so he would be safe from discovery here. There was also no sign of a giant monster fox trying to eat him. He frowned and sat back against the rock wall. This bore some looking into.**

 **What was that fox? What is** _ **chakra**_ **? Just what exactly was he?**

"You…are a ninja!" Percy exclaimed proudly. "Embrace the ninja-tude!"

Annabeth palmed her face and groaned.

"Hm, it was enjoyable and lively." Artemis commented with a small smile. "I hope to see more of this."

"Meh, it was boring." Ares argued with a scowl. "We could have at least gotten a _decent_ fight scene."

Percy was about to sarcastically call out his immortal rival when his foot bumped something under his seat. He leaned down to pick it up, it was a bunch of bananas.

"Where the heck did these come from?" Ares glared at Percy as the son of Poseidon pulled the bunch out.

"So it was you!" he thundered, pulling out a sword. "I should've known, you freaking half-blooded brat!"

Percy pulled out Riptide and dropped the Bananas. "You know, it's about time we settled this!"

"Taking the words out of my mouth!? I'll kill you!"

"I'll stab your face!"

" _Enough!_ Both of you sit down _, now!"_ Both Percy and Ares cowed to the demanding voice of Hestia, who was on fire. The goddess of the hearth cooled down and smiled sweetly at them. "See? Was that so hard?"

"No." Percy and Ares shook their heads in clear terror while they hid their weapons.

"Good!" Hestia looked at Thalia. "Perhaps you should pass the book our way, dear."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own rights to the SSX series, Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **Reading: It's Tricky**

* * *

"I wonder what he'll be is this time?" Percy asked when the title of the chapter appeared on the screen.

"Maybe _s_ he'll be a girl," Thalia said to her cousin with a frown. "Not every universe is the same gender, Kelp Head."

"They have been so far." Hazel pointed out.

"That's because this is a sexist book," Thalia said with a huff.

"Yeah, well, it's not about the kid, its about his relationship to his parent that we're more interested in," Hermes said to the hunter.

"Still sexist." Thalia grunted while Artemis nodded in agreement.

"...Okay, so who's next?" Nico asked before Artemis and her cheerleader was challenged.

"I will." Piper smiled as she took the book.

 **Alaska, the last frontier.**

"Where a Roman Eagle is-slash-was, where I will be and/or have been, and where a giant is-slash-was." Percy bluntly pointed out.

The Romans grumbled at his input. It was embarrassing and they didn't like to be reminded of it.

A mindset undoubtedly brought on by their camp's namesake.

 **It was the forty-ninth addition to the United States of America, purchased in 1867. It was called the most expensive popsicle in history. It** ** _is_** **the largest state in the United States, with over six hundred and sixty thousand square miles of land to its name. Despite the massive size, there were only almost eight hundred thousand people in Alaska and two were currently on their way to the Alaska Range via helicopter, Mount Foraker to be precise.**

 **The roar of the wind being cut by the helicopter's blades had the pilot look up at a meter above him and then hit the switch. "Just hit the PNR! I'm going to have to refuel at the bottom of the mountain! You sure you don't just want to head up on one of their rides with the others on the tour?"**

"Is he going to do what I think he is?" Jason looked interested.

"You mean snap his neck from a dumbass Yolo stunt? Probably." Thalia blanched at the height and ignored the glare Hestia gave her for her language.

"Still, gotta give him some mad props for that."

"Yeah, way to be a stupid protagonist." Thalia mumbled.

"He must've taken a note from Percy."

"Funny, Nico." Percy glared at his cousin.

"And true." Nico smirked.

"He's right, it is." Apollo nodded.

 **"I'll be fine, Mac." The passenger in the back said from where he was seated behind the pilot.**

 **The passenger was a young man that was at his physical peak, seen by his toned arms. He had a small black backpack with a red spiral on the outermost pouch. He wore a light black vest, red band with a black spiral on his left arm, slightly shorter than average orange snow pants, and dark boots on his feet. Around his head was a steel grey bandana that kept cropped blond hair out of his face. He pulled orange tinted snow goggles over his eyes and stood up. He moved to the middle of the helicopter and grabbed a handle that was on the door.**

 **The passenger then grabbed an icy white board that rested to the side of the door and set it at his feet. His boots clicked into place and the passenger tested the emergency release, also known as the Supercross Button (or the SX Button as most users called it) in the current tour he was on.**

 **"Be at the peak in a bit!" Mac called over his shoulder. He reached up and flipped the switch above him. The interior of the helicopter lights turned red.**

 **The passenger nodded and reached up to his ear. He tapped a bud and nodded his head to the remixed Run-DMC classic as it filled his ear.**

 **"** ** _I-I-It's Tricky._** **"**

"No way…" Thalia breathed as her eyes filled with joy. "Wow, that takes me back to our childhood!"

"What?" Jason blinked when Thalia began to bounce in her seat like a child on a sugar high.

"SSX Tricky, Jason! We played it all the time back in the day. I beat you every time of course." The hunter preened nonchalantly, like she had said she won the championship at a world tournament with a blindfold on.

"…I wasn't even _two_." Jason dryly reminded his sister. Thalia gave him a stern look.

"Every. Time."

"O-Okay." Jason shrunk away from the glare he received.

 **Eyes hidden by the orange goggles closed. Sound was drowned out as he focused on his breathing. Fifty meters left. Thirty. Ten. The passenger turned the handle and opened the door. Cold air rushed into the somewhat warm helicopter as the passenger opened his eyes to look at the white mountaintop. The passenger reached out with his fingerless gloves and grabbed the sides of the door. He rocked back before he launched himself forward with a yell.**

"And then he broke his neck, the end!" Ares grinned.

"Called it!"

"Thalia Grace!" Hestia frowned at the Hunter.

"I'm just saying..."

 **Mac watched his passenger dive into a spin like a reverse top and shook his head. "Kids are crazy these days, but you take the cake."**

 **The thrill seeker flipped forward and landed board first on the side of the mountain. Gravity already had him in its grip, but he planned to use it to his advantage.**

 **With a wide grin on his face, and a classic remix in his ear, the passenger hit a relatively small portion of snow that he jumped off of. For a second and a half, the thrill seeker had a prime view of his descent, and with elation in his voice, he cried out: "Mount Foraker meet the Maelstrom of Swirling Whirlpools!"**

"Doesn't he mean 'icy waves'?" Hermes asked

"Dude, that was terrible." Apollo shook his head.

"Yeah, I know, but he should be going with an ice theme here. Fits the situation."

"The name doesn't change because of the situation."

"You'd think it would."

"Will you two please shut up?" Artemis asked, annoyed by their banter. "Let Piper McLean continue so we can get on with this book."

"...You just want to see the next 'Fearless', don't you?" Hermes asked with a smirk.

"Aww, Lil' sis _loves_ her baby Naru-Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Apollo winced as Artemis tightly grabbed his ear.

"Shut. Up." The goddess turned to the current reader and nodded while she continued to hold Apollo's ear. "Please continue

 **The bottom of his board slammed back down into the mountainside and white powder exploded upwards as Newton's law said it would. Naruto Uzumaki continued to grin as Run-DMC's remixed track played in his ear. He crouched down and turned to the left.**

 **"Let's put a spin on things," Naruto said to himself as he came to another edge. Once more than half his board was off, Naruto pushed and pulled his legs up to jump. The coiled position he put himself in was released, which resulted in a perfect three hundred and sixty spin that done simultaneously with his backflip. Naruto grinned as powder shot up at his landing once again.**

 **"Nailed it!"**

"That's what she said." Hephaestus beat Ares to it.

"…Bastard." The war god glared at his brother while his parents scowled at him. "That's my thing!"

"Pick up the pace next time," Hephaestus said with a snort and went back to tinkering on what looked like a glove of some sort.

 **A fallen tree got Naruto's attention and he shifted in that direction. From where he was – ten seconds away from running into the tree – he could see that too many branches remained, but it would otherwise make for a perfect rail/jump. Naruto looked around – eight seconds – and determined he was clear of being watched. Five seconds until he hit the tree – Naruto held his right hand out as he coasted down the side of the mountain.**

 **A stream of frozen wind shot from his palm and rushed at the tree. Branches that previously obscured him were knocked out of the way.**

"Perhaps he is a son of Boreas?" Zeus rumbled with narrowed eyes.

"It's entirely possible," Poseidon said with a nod. "He could be a Roman, too."

"Oh, wonderful. Because _that_ always ends well." Hades scowled as his Roman child shivered.

Piper got a bad feeling in her gut at Zeus' speculation, but pushed it aside and read on.

 **Naruto smirked for a moment until he remembered something – he was two seconds away from the tree.**

 **Mount Foraker didn't** ** _have_** **trees this far up.**

 **A second to impact and Naruto turned his hips to make his board horizontal in an effort to brake. Something didn't add up, and when something didn't add up, usually it spelt trouble for the thrill seeker.**

 **The tree exploded upwards thanks in part to a hairy arm that was nearly as long as Naruto was tall, six feet and bulging with muscle. Naruto was grabbed by another arm, a hand equally twice the size of his head grabbed him by the torso.**

" **Ha! Told Marrow that I catch Halfling on mountaintop!" The giant exclaimed in broken English. Naruto grimaced as the smell of the giant's breath hit his nose.**

"They never floss, a shame really." The sun god sighed. He was always so disappointed in people who didn't practice dental hygiene

"They would need steel wires for those things." Leo blanched, but got an idea that he quickly jotted down on his napkin. "Huh…wire floss."

" **Damn, man, you need a Tic-Tac or something! Because your breath stinks!"**

 **The giant glared at him, two ugly whitish brown eyes filled with loathing. "Halfling shut up! I eat you, Halfling, no care if breath stink!"**

" **Apparently you also don't care if your grammar is goodly," Naruto grumbled. He glared behind his orange tinted goggles at the giant. "If you're going to do something, do it fast. I'm on a schedule. I've got to train for the race tomorrow!"**

"Seriously, getting in the way of my daily life! How uncool." Percy sighed. "It's like that time at the skate park…I was banned! For life!"

"I don't want you to be a skater anyway." Annabeth told her whining boyfriend.

"I don't know, those rails at Camp Jupiter look rad."

"No." Jason, Frank, and Reyna told him.

Percy clicked his tongue.

" **Race? No race for Halfling! Slug eat you!" the giant, Slug, said as he shook Naruto in his grip. Slug smirked as Naruto let out a mild groan, then sniffed the blond. "Hm. Minty. Who parent you, Halfling?"**

 **Naruto smirked at the giant. "Come closer and I'll whisper it to you."**

 **Slug frowned and brought Naruto up to his ear. "Tell Slug who parent you, Halfling!"**

" **My godly parent's name is..." Naruto took in a deep breath and then blew sharply into Slug's ear. Several sharp shards of ice traveled at wicked speeds through one ear and didn't go out. Slug's eyes rolled into his head and his grip went slack.**

 **Naruto pressed the SX Button in his glove and his snowboard detached as he dropped to the ground. Naruto grabbed the edge of his board and landed feet first on the mountainside in a spin. As he completed his turn, Naruto caught sight of Slug's now frozen from the inside out head and his smirk widened.**

" **Nonya Bizness!" Naruto finished his earlier statement as he released his board, which flew at the giant's head and shattered it on impact.**

"I'm getting a terrible sense of who it might be." Hera frowned.

"Ooh, I love it!" Aphrodite tittered. She hummed a bubbly tune. "He's hot n' still cold. The yes to Hera's no~"

"Aphrodite!" Hestia scolded the giggling goddess while the King and Queen glared daggers at her.

 **Naruto jumped back and caught the board in his hand before he dropped it to his side. He watched the giant dissolve in satisfaction before he stepped back onto his board and resumed his trip down the mountain.**

 ** _Man, Ogres just continue to get dumber with each mountain I visit._** **Naruto thought to himself. He jumped another ledge and again pressed the SX Button at the same time that he leaned down to put his hand on the insides of his feet. Naruto brought his legs up and around in a b-boy's flare several times. On the fifth flare, Naruto pushed himself up and slammed his boots back into their slots just as the board touched the mountainside. He wobbled for a second before he continued his trek down the mountain.**

"This is like watching an X Games run. Ah sports." Hermes smiled.

"Hey, I'm the sport god." Apollo frowned.

"Yeah, but the gambling on it comes from me. Teamwork!" Hermes added with a grin.

"...True."

" **Sloppy." Naruto frowned as he lost some speed with that move. He'd have to figure a way to keep his momentum. As he descended past his landing point, Naruto turned around and held his left hand up in the direction. A layer of ice later and Naruto grinned. "I'll just have to focus on not landing too hard."**

 **Naruto crouched down to gain more speed and let his left hand dip into the snow. The result was a hard bank to the left, which put him back on the original track prior to his decision to grind the giant. Naruto leaned right to straighten himself out and considered the approaching cliff.**

 ** _Hm, should I hit a held Bar Hop or go for the Hand in Hand?_** **Naruto mused without a care in the world while he raced down. He jumped onto a thick beam placed by the tour and gained a bit more speed with a grind.** ** _Four seconds to make a choice. Eh, bucket. Let's go over the edge Hand in Hand!_**

" ** _It's tr-tr-tricky!_** **"**

Thalia nodded her head to the remixed beat. She'd have to burn a copy from somewhere.

 **The remix in Naruto's ears finished as he went over the edge of the cliff. Naruto leaned left and grabbed the edge of his board with his hand. His other hand activated the SX Button in his glove and detached the board from his feet. Naruto jumped off his board so that it would spin in front of him as he turned his body to face the incoming mountainside. Once he was facing the mountain, Naruto's hands shot out and grabbed onto the board while his feet planted themselves on the snow-covered bottom, the boot clips facing the mountain. Naruto kicked his feet up and down and his board spun like a DJ's record. Before he hit the ground, Naruto flipped his board and slipped his feet back into position.**

"…What?" Hazel asked after the clip played. "Why would – I mean...I don't understand that sport."

Frank patted her shoulder. "It's okay, neither do I."

Thalia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Kids. Don't understand awesome when it's right in front of you."

"Says the immortal maiden." Annabeth teased.

"Shut up, Annie."

 **Snow shot up as Naruto landed near flawlessly, as close as anyone could get with physics working against you, and he grinned. That would net him a bronze medal alone in the Trick scoring. Now all he had to do was make it down the slope without issue, simple enough. All he had to do was offer one of his old trophies to his mom.**

"Khione." Piper spat out with a scowl. She was tempted to stop now before she had to read any more, the one thing that kept her going was the one sentence that remained. "Of course."

Hera looked just as displeased as Piper was with this development.

 **He loved being a demigod.**

"That is amazingly short, a shame." Hades said, enjoying the ruffled look Hera had.

Piper closed the book and let out a huff through her nose. Her eyes narrowed and flashed through various shades of red.

"I'm glad it was." Was her simple response to the Lord of the Underworld's comment.

* * *

 **As for why this short chapter wasn't up sooner? I got a new 40 hr work week job, so it kinda eats up my time...besides me and Bones playing Castle Crashers...we got a little addicted XP**

 **Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians.**

 **Reading: Dead Inc.**

"With a title like that, I can only wonder who he belongs to." Poseidon stroked his beard.

"He could be Thanatos'." Hades sharply replied.

"Yes but Thanatos is boring."

Hades just grumbled at this and gave Nico a look.

"Fine, I'll read." The son of Hades said and the book appeared on his lap. "Freaky book…" He mumbled as he started the story.

 **Soft rock played from the speakers of a small tattoo parlor on the beach. The sound of a needle marking skin overplayed the soft rock. Blue eyes snapped open and a hiss escaped the owner's mouth.**

 **"Ah. Geez, Keebs, can't you be a little more gentle?"**

 **The tattooing artist leaned back, the overhead light reflecting off of two red triangles tattooed on either cheek. His eyes were brown and looked very amused. "Gentle? You want** _ **me**_ **to be gentle as I permanently carve an image into your skin?"**

"Well, I find this disappointing already." Hestia frowned, glancing at Hades.

"I don't make his choices, Sister."

"It just reflects on your parenting skills."

Hades ignored the slight from Demeter, knowing she'd just jump at anything to rag on him.

 **"...Point taken." The client readjusted himself and let his head tilt back. "Hit me with your best shot."**

The stroke of a guitar made everyone look at Apollo.

"What? Pat's song is awesome!"

 **"You got it." The artist leaned in and pressed a hand down on the exposed pectoral as he got back to work. The client hissed as the needle broke his skin, feeling the image being carefully drawn out was painful.**

 _ **Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around. Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around. Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk around.**_

 **The artist leaned back, visibly upset, and turned his needle off. "Goddammit, Naruto! I told you, turn your phone off when I'm inking you!"**

"You better have a limited minute plan." Hades frowned, like Tartarus he was paying that bill.

"Should he even have a cellphone?" Percy asked, glancing at Annabeth who glared at his look.

"Depends on what type of phone it is." Hermes shrugged. "It might have some protection on it."

"Wait, we have those?!" Leo gaped.

 **"Hey, this is a call I can't ever miss," Naruto said as he sat up and grabbed his phone from the table, only to wince and lie back down. "Oh! Gods, that hurts!"**

"And this is why we don't let children 'ink' themselves." Hestia said with distaste.

Ares laughed as he picked his ear, "Says you."

 **"I'm carving eight letters into your rectus abdominis, of course it's going to hurt stupid." The artist snorted. He set the needle aside and peeled off his gloves. "Lay back, answer your phone, and I'll get something to cover that up so it doesn't get ruined or infected."**

 **"Thanks Kiba," Naruto said with a grunt as he grabbed his phone and answered it. "Sup?"**

 **There was a frustrated sigh. "** _ **Do I want to know where you are?**_ **"**

 **"I'm just hanging out with Kiba, Dad," Naruto said. He muffled a yelp when Kiba came back in and slapped something on his abs. A glare was sent at the amused dog fanatic.**

 **"** _ **The Roman legacy of Apollo?**_ **"**

 **"For the last time, he ain't my ancestor. It's Aesculapius," Kiba grumbled as he placed another patch on Naruto's stomach.**

"My Ace? Nice." Apollo grinned widely.

 **Naruto rolled his eyes and answered the question. "Yes, the legacy."**

 **"** _ **Ah, yes. Anyway. I've got another duty for you.**_ **"**

 **Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Details."**

 **"** _ **You need to come here for that, Naruto. You know that.**_ **"**

 **Naruto took a deep breath. "Is di Angelo still there?"**

Nico paused and looked at his dad, "I don't even know about him?"

Hades shrugged.

 **"** _ **No. Nico has gone out again in an attempt to...find his sister**_ **."**

Nico frowned at this. Well, at least we know when this story takes place.

 **"I'll be there in five." Naruto pulled the phone away and hung up. He looked at the amused legacy. "Have I ever told you that I am** _ **so**_ **jealous you are a Roman and** _ **don't**_ **have contact with the gods?"**

"We have _some_ contact…just, very little." Jason stated.

"Lucky you." Percy whispered with envy.

 **"Yeah, but being the younger sibling is tough. I'd rather work directly for a god than have to deal with my sister, but that's life." Kiba shrugged.**

"Oh I so understand you little dude." Apollo touched his heart. "Right here."

Artemis raised an eyebrow to this. "Finally admitting that I'm the eldest?"

"Nah, just saying sisters can be a pain."

The Big Three inwardly agreed to that one.

 **"I still got some more ink to do, so come back when you're done."**

 **Naruto poked at his covered abdominals and grimaced. "Yeah. Can't go running around with T-A-R-T-A-R carved into my abs. It doesn't look as good as Tartarus."**

"That is a waste of a tatt." Thalia said with a big thumbs down.

"Oh" Annabeth smirked, "and what would you get?"

"…Lady Artemis doesn't allow us to get tattoos."

Artemis nodded to this, ignoring her second-in-command's sullen look.

 **"You do like tartar sauce though," Kiba pointed out with a smirk.**

 **Naruto dryly laughed at him and grabbed his shirt from the table. "Funny. I'll be back in an hour to finish up."**

 **"Whatever, dude. I'm going to take Akamaru for a walk." Kiba tossed a ring of keys to the blond. "I'll have it locked, so..."**

 **"Yeah, I got it," Naruto said as he caught the keys. He went over to a shadowed portion of the room and twirled the keys around his finger. "Later Keebs."**

 **He vanished into the shadows like he was never there in the first place.**

 **Naruto walked out of the shadows into the hallway that led to Hades' throne room in the underworld. Naruto waved at one of the skeletal US soldiers wielding a rocket launcher as he approached the door. "Hey, Connors. Working hard?"**

 **The dead man didn't react.**

 **"Well, keep a stiff upper lip, chum. I'm sure something exciting will happen sooner or later. I'm here on request, so..." Naruto gave the skeleton a look. The skeletal soldier continued to stare blankly into the distance. The blond rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "You guys are seriously no fun anymore. Master Sergeant John Connor, I am the son of Hades and you** _ **will**_ **open this door."**

"I think it's their own little joke to mess with us." Nico told Hazel dryly as that had happened to him a number of times.

Or it could be their dad messing with him, but he was too much a stiff for that.

Hades allowed himself to crack a small smile.

 **The skeleton turned and grabbed a handle, pulling it open and making Naruto shake his head as he walked into the throne room. He grimaced when he saw that the queen's throne was unoccupied. Great, Hades was going to be moody.**

 **Again.**

"I am not moody." Hades glared pointedly at Naruto. "That's my brothers."

"Hey!" Said brothers glared at him.

 **"Naruto." The Lord of the Underworld greeted with a nod. He was dressed in his usual robes that seemed to have souls wishing to escape from them. The opal wedding ring on his finger gleamed sadly, as though reflecting the god's emotions concerning the absence of his wife. Another observation made Naruto's eyebrow shoot up.**

 **"Your ring is gone."**

 **Hades' dark eyes looked down to where the silver skull ring once rested. "Yes. I gave it to Nico di Angelo."**

 **"Wow, and all I got was a free trip to California's finest schools when my mother died at the claws of the Chimera. Remind me why I couldn't go kill that thing when Zeus stupidly let it out to** _ **live**_ **after it** _ **failed**_ **to kill my little cousin?" Naruto asked tightly.**

"Way to go Zeus." Poseidon remarked.

"Yes, you fail to comprehend others feelings." Hades added with a wag of his finger.

Zeus brushed off the remarks. "And how am I supposed to know about your secret love child's problems?"

"He's got you there, Hades."

"Be silent, Poseidon."

 **"Grudge, Naruto. Your grudge." Hades chided. He sat back and watched Naruto shift uncomfortably where he stood. "And on that note, why are you dressed like you just came from the beach? I thought you were with the Roman."**

"We take time for leisure." Reyna frowned.

"You have beach days?" Percy asked a hopeful smile.

"Of course we do. The Second still holds the annual Beach Volleyball tournament trophy."

Percy just grinned while Annabeth groaned.

There better not be a surfing class in New Rome.

 **"On the beach. Not every Roman is at the boot camp," Naruto said. He looked down at his black tank top, orange board shorts and dark Nike flip-flops. Then he looked back up at Hades. "Is something wrong with my look?"**

 **"It's much...looser than what you usually wear." Hades pursed his lips. "You're not doing drugs again are you?"**

"This is like that time you got me a zombie driver."

Hades gave Nico a dry look, "Well pardon me for failing to read modern age children. You're a lot more complicated than you used to be."

"I blame the rap music." Dionysus agreed.

 **"...There's a reason you rule the dead and not the living," Naruto said dryly. He crossed his arms over his chest and Hades continued to stare at him. Naruto groaned. "Oh, for the love of – it was one time in college!** _ **One**_ **time!"**

 **"Many of my current underlings have abused substances** _ **one**_ **time, Naruto. Look at where they are now," Hades said pointedly.**

 **"Would you just tell me about the death I have to cover up that the Mist can't?" Naruto asked. He hated talking about drugs with Hades, ever since the first accidental overdose by one of his children, any sign of drug use made the god into a mother hen, so Naruto learned from his deceased half-siblings when he spoke with them. The Lord of the Underworld loved way too hard for someone that was supposed to be cold and merciless.**

"They do say when Hades has a child, his heart grows three sizes that day." Poseidon stage whispered. "Until they die of course."

Hades breathed in, then out, refusing to retort to that one.

 **Hades sighed and waved his hand, making a shadow rise up into a screen. An image appeared on it, one of a little boy with grey eyes. "A son of Athena. He, his father and stepmother were killed in Forks, Washington. It was rather gruesome."**

"Forks, it's always Forks." Leo said with resentment.

"Twilight?" Piper asked.

Leo just grumbled about trying to kill the Vampire Genre.

 **"Yeah, I'll bet." Naruto grimaced. He hated working on some of these cases. "They pass through all right?"**

 **"Harmlessly. Clean slates, the three of them. A rare thing, but they hadn't done enough good to get to Elysium. The Fields of Asphodel is where they wound up," Hades said, a bit depressed at his new underlings' unfortunate story. "I certainly didn't send anything after them, but things are getting...rowdy down here."**

Hades rubbed his temples, "The noise at night could just keep you awake for hours!"

"And not the noise of the damned being tortured?" Hermes asked.

"No, those are rather soothing."

 **"Trouble at home?" Naruto asked. He couldn't help it, he knew that some shit was going down, and he knew it all started two years ago when Poseidon revealed he had a son. If only he wasn't on Spring Break at the time, he'd like to have been here when the kid came by. ...Then again, there were the twins he met...perhaps it's for the best he had gone down to Florida.**

"Now that's a cousin I can admire." Apollo grinned at Hades.

"Wonderful," Hades said, rubbing his face, "He's going through a Zeus."

"You mean puberty." Hera corrected.

"I know what I said."

 **"There are many things causing Olympus grief. This does not need to be one of them." Hades looked at his son. "Find an animal to blame, then find the monster that did this. I want it back here to explain itself."**

 **"Time limit?"**

 **"You'll have a day to deal with the problem, that's all I could get out of Hecate." Hades grimaced.**

 **Naruto arched a brow. "Still on the edge?"**

 **"Yes, and she's teetering away," Hades said sourly. "If she turns against Olympus, it'll be likely that she'll side against me."**

"So a little before the Labyrinth. Okay, let's see how he helps out." Percy said with interest.

"Wait," Thalia frowned, "He said he was in college…he's way above the Great Prophecy than."

Percy paused and his shoulders slumped, "So it was me all along. Figures. It probably wouldn't have happened to any other child of the Big Three then."

Why was his life so stupidly annoying?

 **Naruto frowned for his father. He knew what it was like for a friend, someone you trusted, to turn against you. And Hades didn't have a lot of friends or trustworthy people, which was why he was so protective of his children and Persephone.**

"Well, if you socialized more." Hera tutted.

"The last time I went to one of your parties I ended up in the dunk tank."

Hera glared at Poseidon. "I told you to never bring that thing."

"We had a friendly little bet! He lost." The sea god shrugged.

 **"Well, try to be optimistic and understand why she's turning against Olympus. Maybe if you can talk her out of it or something...Without trying to trick her." Naruto added as an afterthought. Hades seemed to contemplate his advice and Naruto took that as his signal to leave. He was stopped when the Lord of the Underworld said his name.**

 **"Naruto, after you conceal the crime I want you find the creature that caused this...and show them the same mercy any other man would."**

 **"...So, no mercy whatsoever?" Naruto asked, a small smirk on his face.**

 **"If that is what you perceive to be the mercy of other men," Hades said.**

"Okay, starting to like the runt too." Ares smiled.

 **Naruto grimaced. This was another test. Hades was fond of giving small tests to his children, to see what they would do with his backing. Hitler passed a few, surprisingly, but failed more as his grudge took hold of him. Naruto turned and left Hades' throne room, his eyes hard and determined.**

 **He had a murderer to frame.**

"I'm getting a Dexter vib here." Hermes stroked his chin.

 **But first, he had to change.**

 **The State of Washington was chilly this time of year.**

 **"** _ **Are you serious!?**_ **" Kiba's angry voice rang through the device in Naruto's hand as the blond made his way down through the streets of Forks. Naruto now wore a black leather jacket with an orange band around the left arm and an orange stripe down the right over a** _ **Clockwork Orange**_ **poster-shirt.**

"Ah, the appreciation of the classics." Ares smiled, making Apollo glare at him.

"That's my line."

"I know, but the violence makes me smile."

Hephaestus snorted, "A drowning cat amuses you."

"Hey, hey!" Ares pointed at him with a fat finger. "Polish metal gets you off, and violence gets me off. Don't judge."

Athena added, "We would never do that."

"You're mocking me again."

"Yes, yes I am."

"…Fuck you."

 **Boot cut blue jeans held up by a studded belt fell down to steel-tipped boots.**

 **"Yeah, we'll have to finish the ink tomorrow," Naruto said into his cellphone as he walked through the woods of the small town. He, unlike other demigods, was not as at risk of being attacked by monsters for using technology. Mostly because his existence was not exactly shared with the rest of the Olympians, but that was a story for another time.**

"That makes no sense." Annabeth frowned, "Unless it was a magic phone. Do we have those?"

"Do you think they have wand apps?" Percy asked. He could use an auto-clean app for his bedroom.

 **Naruto shifted his phone from one hand to the other and adjusted his leather jacket, all the while, looking around at the people with distrust on his face.**

 **This town was full of rather chipper people despite the deaths that took place. And, for some reason, Naruto felt as though he were being watched constantly. Granted, he was a bit paranoid – it was in the blood, just ask his uncle, grandfather and great-grandfather – but the feeling he had was definitely not his paranoia acting up. It was legit.**

 **Kiba tisked. "** _ **That sucks. Now I have to worry about you spreading bad rumors concerning my art.**_ **"**

 **"Oh, I promise I'll only show the cute girls," Naruto said nonchalantly while he adjusted his jacket and grimaced as it started to rain. He hated the rain. It was so gloomy, and he really got enough of that when he dealt with his father.**

"I am not gloomy." Hades huffed, "I'm down to earth."

"Is that what they call it now?" Demeter looked amused.

 **"** _ **You're the biggest of assholes.**_ **"**

 **"Not true, I'm pretty sure that title belongs to the elephants of Africa." Naruto stepped out of the way of a pasty-skinned pretty boy and his girlfriend (who Naruto saw as an 'average' girl, maybe a six out of ten if she tried) as they walked down the street together. They didn't look at where they walked and just stared into each other's eyes. Naruto gagged. "That was disgusting."**

"…So they do exist." Leo said with wide eyed terror.

"Faster, faster." Jason hissed to Nico.

He didn't want to hear about Valdez rant.

 **"** _ **What was?**_ **"**

 **"This dude and his girlfriend. Arrows of Cupid hit them both hard or something...they were just staring at each other as they walked down the street." Naruto shuddered. It was like that time he visited his father for Christmas when he was ten and was still in the 'girls are gross' stage. Seeing the way Hades and Persephone looked at each other then made him gag.**

Hades looked smug at his farmer sister. "It's so nice to have her during the season for family."

"Why you-!"

"Sister, calm down." Hestia chided and looked to her eldest brother. "And you stop provoking her."

"I promise nothing." The Lord of the Dead replied.

 **"** _ **Sounds like something out of my ro-My**_ **sister's** _ **romance novels.**_ **"**

 **Naruto blinked as he thought about what Kiba just said. He smirked. "Your** _ **sister's**_ **novels, huh? Should I ask Hana about** _ **her**_ **collection when I ask her out?"**

 **"** _ **Stay. Away. From. Hana.**_ **"**

 **"You can't make me." Naruto smirked. "Hana's a big girl and I'm a** _ **big**_ **boy. Last I heard, she likes 'em big."**

Apollo pursed his lips, unsure how to feel here.

 **"** _ **I will ink you in your sleep!**_ **"**

"But wouldn't he hear it?" Hazel frowned in thought.

"It's the thought that counts?" Frank shrugged.

 **Naruto laughed. "Talk to you later, Kiba. Tell Hana to expect a call soon."**

 **"** _ **YOU MOTHERFUC-!**_ **" Naruto hung the phone up and he could've sworn that he heard a faint howl of anguish come from the south.**

 **No, wait, that was an actual howl. Naruto frowned, that wasn't a good sign. He looked up as rain began to fall and grimaced. He had to hurry and get to the crime scene so he could get a potential target to frame.**

"Are we sure we should be supporting this?" Hera frowned at her husband.

As the god of justice, he did find this to be slightly unfair.

"We do have a balance to maintain." Hades pointed out.

And it was a very good point. "I support it." Zeus stated firmly.

 **There weren't a lot of options in the long run.**

 **The first thing Naruto had done was find the nearest, sleaziest rich man in the state, plant a few 'trophies' he'd forged and/or stolen from the damned under his father's thumb, and then he had to, for lack of a better term, force a suicide. Call it murder, but there'd be no trial or jury after him. Naruto would be back in California faster than Apollo could get to Tibet, finishing off his body art and then – hopefully – getting to home base with Kiba's hot sister, all while police would just discover the corpse of his chosen scapegoat.**

Judgmental eyes shifted to Zeus and Hades, both looking unmoved by their stares.

 _ **I wonder if asking about her favorite position during dinner would be considered in bad taste?**_ **Naruto absently thought**

"It really is." Aphrodite nodded, "At least wait until dessert."

 **as he tightened the noose around the neck, and then tossed the other end of the rope over a banister. He pulled on the rope and lifted his target off of the ground by a good foot or so. He'd not even bothered to ask the man's name, having already forgotten it once he learned how filthy rich the man was. Really, it was almost a** _ **sin**_ **.**

 **And Naruto didn't even believe in the Seven Sins!**

 **Well, except for Greed.**

 **And Lust.**

 **And Gluttony.**

 **And–**

 _ **Hm, on second thought, I guess I do believe in them.**_ **Naruto thought as he pulled the rope tighter, a look of nonchalance on his face as he casually strangled a man to death.**

Ares bellowed a laugh. "Got another winner here, Hades!"

Hades looked like he swallowed a lemon.

An Ares compliment was never a _good_ thing after all.

 **Since his existence as Hades' son was considered 'secret', he was exempt from being tried as a murderer.**

"In a mortal court." Hades muttered.

 _ **Like Apollo and Aphrodite don't already know I exist, please. I'm sure the Dove has already sorted out my love life.**_

Aphrodite was all smiles at this, "I try. Honest."

"And that's the truth." Apollo beamed.

Piper just buried her face into her palms. Why was her mom so embarrassing.

 **Naruto pushed his away the desk his target was struggling to get to with his foot. He scowled at the back of the middle-aged billionaire's head.** _ **Man, my arm is starting to get tired. Why the hell aren't you dead yet?**_

"Good question, you'd think he'd croak by now." Nico remarked.

"I think he's struggling to live." Percy commented.

Nico gave his cousin that one.

 **Naruto was more than aware how twisted it was that he was so blasé about killing someone. One must understand though, in his eyes, this was just another job. In a way, he was doing this for his thunder-pants of an uncle. The thought of the 'Bolt-Farter' as his father called the King of Olympus made Naruto snort. Talk about the definition of 'hypocrisy'.**

Zeus sent his brother the dirtiest of looks, but he merely held up his hands.

"It's not my fault you're in the dictionary under hypocrisy, Zeus."

"I am not!"

"Bull!"

Zeus glared at his wethead brother.

Poseidon pointed, "Sorry, I thought I saw one going down the hallway. My mistake."

Zeus gripped the armrests of his throne as he scowled at his brothers messing with him.

Oh there'd be a reckoning soon, he could smell it.

 **Zeus was** _ **so**_ **sure he knew what was right for everyone. Yes, well, wisdom was good an all, but having wisdom doesn't automatically make you** _ **wise**_ **. After all, only fools call themselves wise. It is those who say they know nothing, but are willing to learn, that are truly wise. No wise god would let the Chimera, a creature that was insanely hard to kill, roam free after it** _ **failed**_ **to do the job it was contracted to do.**

"Technically that was his mother's fault, not mine." Zeus rebuffed.

"And who contracted her?" Percy asked his uncle.

Zeus just glared at him.

Didn't stop Percy from making his point though.

 **Naruto was torn away from his grudge-focused thoughts when he felt his target go limp. The blond stared at the body for a moment, letting it hang for a moment, before he sighed. That took much longer than he'd thought it would. Naruto grabbed a stool and moved it to stand next to the body, tying off the rope and then cutting it to an appropriate length. He then looked around the room, ignoring the lightly rotating body as it hung from the rafter.**

 **"Well, better clean this up." Naruto muttered to himself. He jumped down from the stool and set about staging the scene. Then, with careful practice and abusing his powers over the dead, Naruto forged a suicide note with the aide of the freshly deceased. Before the spirit could complain, Naruto banished him back to Charon's waiting room once the letter was done and read it over. "...Your name was A. L. Davis? Oh, dude, I just did you a friggin favor."**

 **With the frame job done, only one thing kept Naruto from returning to the Golden State and that would be the monster that caused this whole mess. Easy enough. He was no Hunter of Artemis – the whole having a penis thing would've made that a bit difficult – but he wasn't a slouch. Hades was the Lord of the Underworld, and monsters resided within, so naturally, Hades had a** _ **very**_ **miniscule grasp over the beasts and nightmares that made demigods afraid of the dark. It was enough of a grasp that a little, not a voice, but almost a sixth sense or a radar was present within the back of the blond demigod's head.**

"Monster radar, never leave home without one." Frank kissed Hazel atop her head.

 **Following it led Naruto deep into the woods of Washington, deep enough that if he fell against this monster, only his father or one of his father's servants would be able to claim his body. However, that wasn't going to happen for two reasons. The first, and most obvious reason, was that Naruto was a teenager. Almost twenty, a rarity among Greek demigods in this day and age.**

"Note the Greek part." Percy said with mock awe, "If only we had a huge family community for demigods and their parents."

Reyna shook her head, "It's just how our society is, Percy."

"I know, but is it wrong to wish for it?"

"Not at all." Annabeth agreed with him.

 **Especially considering he was a son of Hades, which meant, for those unaware, that his scent was** _ **very**_ **potent, and not in a good way.**

Apollo held up a cologne bottle, "Big Three. Because you're worth it."

"I demand a refund!" Percy shook his fist in the air.

 **The second reason was that Naruto was an expert, not a master though he may claim to be to instill wary into his foes, when it came to using Shadow Travel. He could venture to other continents on a whim, but generally chose not to because he usually forgot his passport and a luggage bag to throw off mortals.**

"Can I ever do that?" Nico asked his dad since he still had a range on him if he didn't want to turn into shadows himself.

"As you mature, yes." Hades answered.

 **(Fun fact: The farthest Naruto had ventured was to Antarctica, and that was merely to settle a bet that: "Yes! Penguins are dangerous!" That Bitch-avian or whatever his name was learned that the hard way.)**

"Please tell me he did what I think he did." Jason wished with his eyes closed.

"I think so, I approve." Reyna grinned.

 **To add to Naruto's repertoire, he had a magical pouch of throwing knives given to him by his second ex-girlfriend. (A daughter of Hermes who was felled by a cannibal giant that had found his scent on her to be intoxicating. A shame too, Naruto had truly liked her.)**

"I don't know if I would approve at all." Hermes frowned at Hades.

"Not my fault nor my care."

"Heartwarming, aren't you Uncle?"

"As ice, Hermes. As ice."

"But he murders with a carefree disposition, Hermes!" Apollo pointed out, "I thought you'd like that?"

"That's old me! I don't want my kids getting into murder! Sure, gambling and robbery is cool, but murder is…" The messenger god trailed off.

"Probably the best she had." Ares grinned.

Hermes just gave him a scathing look.

 **The knives would return to the pouch seconds after being tossed, so it was an infinite ammunition and a close range weapon.**

"You really like giving those out, huh?" Annabeth asked Hermes, remembering her other getting a pouch of them.

"It's one of my top three favorites."

 **Naruto trained hard, day and night, until he was able to pin the wings of a fly to the wall and disarm those armed with broadswords. What was once a trick in films was now something Naruto could do with his eyes closed or a hand tied behind his back.**

"Meh, mildly impressed. My kids could do better." Apollo argued.

Artemis looked at Thalia.

"Archery first. Then knife play." Thalia stated at the pressure her matron liked to put on her at times.

Artemis nodded to that.

 **So, with his skillset, it could be said that Naruto had confidence that he'd not die that day. That did not mean he did not have his guard up. No, far from it. If anything, his guard was as firm as the walls of Troy against Greece's initial assault.**

 **Prior to the use of the Trojan horse, that is.**

 **That wariness only rose as Naruto felt his inner radar go off the charts, his heart beat steadily rose as a wet, muted rip and a hard snap echoed in the woods. The sound of flesh being torn and bone being broken was not new for the son of Hades, but it was unsettling to say the least to hear the noise so far from the Fields of Punishment. Naruto passed a tree and found the source of the noise.**

 **Seated in the nude over the corpse of a modern-day hunter – the remains of camouflaged clothes under an orange vest and a rifle discarded off to the side made that deduction 'elementary'**

"And that's what you get for using a gun." Artemis rolled her eyes.

"Nothing wrong with a good piece." Ares argued.

"A bow and arrow is a true challenge for a hunter! Not point, pull, bang!"

"You're biased!"

"Damn right I am." Artemis glared at the war god, who glared right back.

– **was a humanoid figure. It was thin, like a skeleton, but the limbs were too long and the purple skin that was present was taut, almost as if the figure had been starved. Naruto narrowed his eyes, he'd heard of this creature from the folklore of the few spirits of Native Americans that still roamed the earth, seeking to defend their descendants and man from the evils of beyond.**

 **The Wendigo. A creature that was once human who gave themselves over to cannibalism, sacrificing their soul and replacing it with an endless hunger.**

"Ew, no skin cream would ever fix that." Aphrodite blanched.

"I've seen a few, truly heinous creatures." Artemis agreed with a frown.

Apollo leaned over to Hermes, "They're agreeing, get the bunker supplies."

Hermes snapped a salute.

Leo looked at Piper.

"What?"

"Well?"

"Oh, oh! Just because I'm Native American, I should know what it is?" Piper frowned at her friend.

"Kinda sorta, but I'm just gonna say I'm assuming and willing to make an ass out of myself here."

"…You're lucky I do." Piper crossed her arms. "He pretty much said what it was. Its stories are mainly associated with the Algonquian, which are really more east coast than west coast, but I guess they can just pop up anywhere." She listed off from memory. "It inspired a lot of horror fiction actually."

"…She pulled an Annabeth." Percy whistled, getting a glare from his girlfriend.

 **A part Naruto would've preferred it to be a werewolf, because then he would've felt at least a bit guilty for the punishment.**

 **Now?**

 **Naruto gently unsnapped the lid over his throwing knives' holster and slowly drew one knife. The sharp edge of the blade gently scraped against the side of the container in his haste to hurry the draw of his weapon, and Naruto bit back a curse. The Wendigo's ear twitched and its voracious feeding stopped as it looked up from its meal.**

 **Naruto went still, his hand tight around his blade and his gaze focused on the tree beyond the creature, so it remained in his peripheral sight, but was not directly in his gaze. The Wendigo hunted by motion and sound. It could hear the sound of a pounding heart, so Naruto's priority was to keep calm. The lanky figure in the corner of his vision, that his brain registered as present but did not focus on, slowly turned and released a raspy roar, akin to a shriek. It rose, towering over him at a whopping nine feet, with the remains of a partially eaten human leg in its grasp. Naruto watched it move from the corner of his eye, quick and erratic, like it was jittery.**

 _ **Must be part of the always being hungry thing,**_ **Naruto mused.**

"I know the feeling." Nico confessed with a sour face. He really hated remembering that time he was imprisoned.

 **He waited patiently for it to settle back down and return to its meal. Once he was sure that its attention was off of him, Naruto resumed preparing for the quick kill. Skilled though he may be, Wendigo were notoriously** _ **hard**_ **to kill in a fight, even one-on-one, and the best way to kill them was to surprise them. The only reason they had remained so low in number was the taboo on cannibalism that had predated the gods' venture west.**

"The one good thing Father ever helped with." Hestia nodded sternly.

The rest of the original six nodded to this in vigorous agreement.

 **It was one of the reasons Hades' admitted to approve of the Native Americans' spiritual beliefs. Naruto narrowed his eyes and focused on the visible spinal chord at the base of the monster's skull. That was arguably the weakest point any monster had.**

 **After all, it can't eat you if it doesn't have a head.**

 **Just before Naruto could throw his knife, his phone began to ring, a techno-pop beat muted slightly by his jeans and Eric Prydz' high pitch repeating:** _ **Call on me-e-e, call on me!**_

"And this is why we don't like you children to have cellphones." Athena sighed as Hades looked a touch embarrassed at this.

"Besides the whole airwaves out to kill us thing." Percy added.

Athena glared at him, "Yes. That."

 _ **Shit!**_ **Naruto thought as he quickly went through with his throw just as the Wendigo turned to snarl at him, flesh dangling from its many two-inch long, crooked and sharpened yellow teeth. The knife flew through the cannibalistic monster's gaping mouth and imbedded in the tree behind it with a** _ **thunk**_ **.**

"You got a little something in your teeth dear." Aphrodite said.

"And in its mouth." Ares chuckled at the shot, taking a picture on his phone. "Sweet."

 **Naruto quickly pulled out another two knives, one for each hand and watched the Wendigo warily as it stayed in place, stuck mid-snarl. Then, it slowly dissolved into golden dust and Naruto relaxed. He let his shoulders fall and dropped his knives as he slumped against the nearest tree. His heart was** _ **racing**_ **. That damn phone...Naruto grit his teeth and angrily dug the device from his pocket. A check on the side and he saw that yes,** _ **he'd**_ **set it to silent and do not disturb.**

"Okay, who set it off?" Hades said, glaring at his family, a strong look at Demeter and Zeus. And yes, in that order.

"It wasn't me." Demeter said defensively. "I don't go after _your_ children."

Zeus looked at Hades dryly, "You think I would set off a phone on him?"

"Hm, true, you'd just fry him. Hades narrowed his eyes in thought.

"Exac-" Zeus paused at his near slip.

Poseidon clicked his tongue.

 **The only way it could've been overridden was by someone of the divine sort-**

 **"A fine ass** _ **and**_ **fine aim! Can't believe you almost didn't even give the poor thing a chance. Still, at least you lived, not bad."**

"What this I hear?" Leo held a hand to his ear, "A godly booty call in the works?"

"No way." Percy scoffed.

"Please, with that opening line? Whoever it is wants it!"

"It depends who it is." Aphrodite stated.

 **The source of the compliment was a young woman that looked like she was in her late teens or early twenties. She had skin that was so pale it was almost white, but with the same bluish tint that could be found on the lips of the dead. Her hair was jet black and fell to her shoulders. She wore tight black leather pants that were kept around her waist by a chain belt and a black long sleeve shirt with a smiling Boo from the game** _ **Super Mario Bros. 3**_ **embellished and brought attention to her ample bust.**

 **The features that stood out most to Naruto were her eyes. Sclerae that were black as the void itself with pupils that shined like gold stared at his undoubtedly annoyed deep ocean blues. Lips colored black were set in a coy smile that sent off all sorts of alarms in the back of Naruto's mind, both those for good and bad situations.**

Hades let out a pained groan as he rubbed his eyes. "Oh no…"

 **"Melinoe." Naruto greeted the goddess curtly, his mouth set in a small frown.**

"Stop!" Thalia said as Nico was gaping at the book, "She can turn off all that ugly?"

"She is a goddess Thalia." Artemis told her.

"I know, but, damn!"

"Wish she did that more often." Apollo whistled.

 **The ghost goddess' smile widened slightly and she slipped the phone in her hand back into her front pocket.**

 **"Aw, don't be like that. I came all this way out here to watch you make some art!" Melinoe walked up to him and put a hand on his chest, a gleam in her eyes like those of a child's on Christmas morning. "And I** _ **always**_ **appreciate fine art."**

"Well, if she does…" Apollo preened as Hades glared at him.

"Don't even think about it."

"Too late, ideas in my head. And they are sexy~"

 **"...Don't you have some hostels to haunt?" Naruto asked, slightly uncomfortable. Slightly because Melinoe was the daughter of Hades, which made her his half-sister. And though he was half-Greek, he had not been raised to follow the 'Incest is Wincest' bandwagon that she'd grown with. However, there was that damnable little voice nagging at him in the back of his head, whispering encouragement: "She may be undead, but dem tits doe!"**

"I get that voice all the time." Apollo nodded, he felt his heart go out for the little dude.

 **...** _ **I really need to stop surfing through Urban Dictionary in my spare time.**_ **Naruto mused.**

 **"You watch too many horror flicks," Melinoe said with a scoff. "** _ **Everyone**_ **knows that institutions are the places to haunt."**

 **"Of course, how could I be so dumb?" Naruto asked dryly.**

 **"I'll let it slide, but it'll cost you a favor for that cheek of yours." Melinoe smiled up at him and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.**

"I believe they call this stranger danger." Artemis frowned.

"Not really, it's his sister." Apollo grinned.

"…What are you thinking?" The huntress accused.

Apollo blinked at her, "Uh, nothing. Why, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing."

"Good."

 **"W-what sort of favor?" He dared to ask. Naruto's eyes went wide when her hand trailed down to rest on his thigh. Melinoe licked her lips and leaned up against him, her smile resembling that of a jack-o-lantern's on Halloween night.**

Hades let out a painful grunt as his siblings snickered at him.

 **Naruto's eyes cracked open and he sat up to yawn. As he stretched, he examined his surroundings, realizing quickly that he was once more in his room. The walls were covered by posters of cult horror films such as** _ **Evil Dead, The Thing, Dead-Alive, Return of the Living Dead,**_ **and of course, the two** _ **Dawn of the Dead**_ **posters. The 1978 variant hung over the window just as the 2004 was, both in frames and both signed by the mortal lord of the undead, George A. Romero. Knick-knacks and collectable horror toys litters shelves, and clothes were strewn throughout the room.**

"Huh, nice place. Horror classic guy." Leo nodded in approval.

 **His orange and navy blue bedding was littered with sweat, a few bloodstains – those'd have to be cleaned up as soon as possible – and various toys that belonged to his 'after-hours' job.**

"I hope he doesn't charge by the hour." Aphrodite pursed her lips.

"Mom!"

 **There was a light moan and Naruto turned to the source. He found Melinoe, resting like she were mortal, just as nude as he was, and with something wrapped around her neck. A second glance made Naruto realize it was his belt. The sight of the red line beneath it, as well as the used and discarded prophylactic that rest between them sobered Naruto up faster than any shower or pot of coffee ever could.**

"Whoa, your kids are the kinky sort huh?" Ares smirked to his uncle, "They inherit that?"

Demeter gave Hades a furious look while the Lord of the Dead did his best to avoid eye contact.

 _ **Well,**_ **he thought as he rose the bed and went to the bathroom.** _ **This'll definitely be omitted from the report.**_ _ **The last thing I want is for Dad to marry me to my sister in unholy matrimony.**_

"I honestly feel it might do that girl some good." Hera smiled at Hades.

"No." Hades rubbed his eyes, "Not now. Give me a minute or decade to process this."

"I know this wonderful area near the beachfront for weddings." Poseidon pitched.

"Silence. Please." Hades begged.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Naruto**_ **or** _ **Percy Jackson and the Olympians**_ **/** _ **Heroes of Olympus**_

 **Reading: Fils de l'Amour: Phoebe's One-Off**

"Well..." Aphrodite propped her hand against her cheek and her lips spread into a smile as the title of the next story appeared on the screen. "This should be fun. If it is anything like those lovely Nalia stories."

"There's no _Nalia_." Thalia told the goddess curtly with a scowl on her face.

"Of course, of course." The love goddess waved the hunter off and sighed. "The poor girl is in denial. Look at what you've done, Artemis."

"It was her choice," Artemis said firmly. "And it isn't as though this Naruto exists in our world."

"Exactly," Apollo said as he flipped through the latest edition of _Jump_. He tossed it over his shoulder and made it vanish as he looked at the demigods. "So, c'mon, don't hold it off any longer!"

"I have a bad feeling about this." Reyna muttered lowly before the book appeared on her lap. Her eyes narrowed.

"It can sense your fear," Piper said with a small smirk. Reyna rolled her eyes and opened the book to the designated chapter.

 **Konohagakure no Sato was many things. It claimed the sole right as being the first hidden village. It was a place of idealistic peace, a refuge, even in times of war.**

Ares grunted in disapproval.

"Oh, what now?" Athena asked, annoyed at her brother's complaints.

"This is boring to me. Where's the good stuff?"

"I'm sure it's coming." Aphrodite tittered.

Reyna felt a shiver go up her spine at the Goddess' giggle.

 **It was notoriously home to the strongest shinobi on the planet. It was the birthplace of the Will of Fire.**

 **And currently – as most Konoha natives were eager and very proud to point out – had the right to claim its ruler, the Nanadaime Hokage, was arguably the most powerful man on the planet.**

"He said _man_ , Zeus. Not _god_." Aphrodite rolled her eyes at the scowl that spread across the god king's face.

"Tolerable, for now." Zeus rumbled.

 **The Genin who'd rallied Allied Shinobi Forces against a madman who, in another life, would've been one to teach him in his father's stead. The Jinchuriki who befriended a creature most thought a mindless demon. The Mortal who'd fought – and** _ **won**_ **\- against the Greek God of Heroes and Strength.**

Zeus' nostrils flared as Hera gave a vicious smile.

"Best fight. Hands down." Ares nodded in agreement, along with most of his siblings.

"Meh, could have used more of a lightshow." Hephaestus shrugged.

 **The Demigod who held off the primordial of the Earth to buy time for the Olympians' heroes – which was only possible with the aid of his best friend, he never hesitated to add.**

"Really?" Leo frowned. "We couldn't get a spoiler warning?"

"We _know_ what happens." Jason pointed out. "We _just_ fought in it."

"Still dude, _spoilers_!"

"I gotta give that to Leo." Apollo nodded. "These future chapters gave out _way_ too many spoilers."

"Oh, but it's the journey, not the destination!" Aphrodite pointed out gleefully. "Think of all the drama we'll see!"

"I can concede to that," Apollo said with a thoughtful nod.

 **Hero of Olympus; Son of Aphrodite; Legacy of the Yellow Flash; The Boy of Miracles; The Sage of Mt. Myōboku; The Orange Hokage (yes, he'd even managed to get that one in people's heads); the list of his epithets was nearly endless.**

 **Naruto Uzumaki, the name resonated hope and always brought smiles to faces –** _ **unless**_ **you were a sore loser or forbidden challenger, such as a beach-bombed Hercules or a certain God of War.**

"Son of a _bitch_ …" Ares griped.

"Ares." Aphrodite frowned.

"What?" Ares blinked before he realized his mistake. "Oh. Er...It's a term of endearment...?"

"I'm sure," Athena said dryly.

 **The boy had long since grown into a man, his rounded jaw seemed harder, his features more masculine, his unruly blond hair cut short and his whisker marks seemed faint or at least not as prominent. His was frame tall and lean, hidden beneath an orange jacket with black rings around the cuffs. The hat he so coveted as a child was set to the side of his desk, placed atop a stack of paperwork. His right hand, bandaged from the fingertips to the elbow, set down the pen that rested within. His left, a healthy rosy-peach like the rest of his skin, set down the report from the border patrol. They came together and intertwined thoughtfully.**

"A-a-and I did _not_ need to get a detailed look of my brother in the future." Piper blanched as the image Reyna finished describing appeared on the screen. She smirked at the Roman demigoddess, who looked a tad flustered as she finished the passage and looked up. "See something you like?"

"Be quiet, Piper." Reyna hissed.

"There's no shame in it, Reyna, dear." Aphrodite told her. Athena shook her head.

"Yes. Yes, there is."

" **...Did I do something wrong, Senshi-hime?"**

 **He blinked his tired and slightly overworked blue eyes at his wife of nearly a decade, who stood across from his desk, across from him, with a look on her face. It was a look that no man wished to be on the receiving end of.**

"I get that look, a _lot_." Percy grumbled, making Annabeth give him said look. "See? For no reason at times, too!"

"There's always a reason, Seaweed Brain. You just have to figure it out for yourself." Annabeth smirked. "I can't hold your hand all the time."

"Even though you want to," Piper said teasingly.

"Your point?"

"Touché."

 **She seemed to take a moment to think before she spoke, less than a second really, and his damnable ADHD chose that moment to kick in.**

 **Her skin, bordering from tanned to a light natural bronze, glistened under the natural light that filtered into the room and her hair, dark as the night sky in Konoha, was pulled into a practical, but still stunning, ponytail. Her beautiful face, still deceivingly angular and sharp, had been marred with a frown. The loving brown eyes he used to stare into for hours on end were now upon him like an eagle's –** _ **Like Miu's**_ **, he thought sadly as he recalled his deceased companion – would be on prey. She was dressed simply, but still managed to look breathtaking in her grey sweatpants and royal purple hoodie with a golden SPQR down the left arm, a red Uzumaki swirl on the right shoulder, and what he presumed to be either just a black tank-top or a sports bra underneath. (If he were honest, Naruto would prefer the latter, but wouldn't complain over the former.)**

"I wonder who-"

"Piper, so help me I will cut out your tongue if you finish your thought," Reyna said bluntly.

"Reyna, I _like_ her tongue." Jason protested, making Piper color.

"Then keep her mouth shut, Jason." Reyna sniffed as she continued.

"At least we have the pairing declared." Aphrodite gleefully pointed out. Reyna winced and her eyes closed.

Crap, that meant she had to deal with the love goddess even more so than she'd like.

" **Your mother." Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano Uzumaki – damn did he love that she took his clan's name – said only those two words and Naruto knew he'd best create a few clones to finish his work.**

"What did she do this time?" Artemis asked in wonderment.

"I do many things, for all the right reasons." Aphrodite assured, making Artemis bark a laugh.

"Yes, in your deluded definition of the word 'right', I'm sure you do."

 **He was definitely in for another interesting day today, and that was more than welcome as an escape from his work.**

" **Did something happen?" Naruto asked once he had his doppelgängers in place. He led Reyna from the office, his arm around her shoulders. She slipped from his embrace once they ventured to the rooftop, standing at the barrier of the edge and overlooking the village she now called home.**

 **Reyna took a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes. "Your mother, as a goddess, has deep traits that are forever bound to your line, does she not?"**

"Well, _duh_." Aphrodite rolled her eyes.

"Hey." Dionysus frowned. That was _his_ line.

" **...Well, yes, but so does yours."**

"A legacy of a Roman Goddess of War, The Universal Love Goddess, and the Greek Goddess of Honorable War..." Piper shook her head. "And then there's ninja magic! Does that spell doom for anyone? Because it spells doom for me."

"Terrible twos sound like a nightmare." Leo agreed.

"Those rebellious teen years are going to _suck_ ," Percy said with a laugh.

"Hate you." Reyna's eye twitched. "I hate you all."

"We love you, too, Reyna." Frank smiled at his fellow praetor.

"With _all_ of my hate."

 **Naruto pointed out, still not understanding and very confused, but still kept his distance. Being married for nearly a decade, you learned to anticipate things from your spouse, but that didn't mean you couldn't still be surprised. Reyna could and** _ **would**_ **try to castrate him if put in the right state of anger was one such surprise. Even if she was eight months pregnant.**

"Reyna, you're _glowing_!" Piper gushed teasingly when she noticed Reyna's face was as red as a fire truck.

"Piper, I will lock you in a car trunk, and drive you off of a cliff." The praetor hissed.

"...I like that, can I use that?" Thalia asked with a small smirk of approval.

"Fine." Reyna bit out as she turned the page.

 **That was a chase through the hospital he did** _ **not**_ **wish to reenact...Again.**

 **Sasuke** _ **still**_ **gave him shit over it.**

 **The bastard.**

"Oh, man, I'd give him so much crap for _years_ over something like that." Leo laughed, along with the rest of the demigods.

" **But my mother did not split herself, imparting her essence into a newborn. She did not become a famed ninja, a powerful warrior that made a name for herself in a world war," Reyna said dryly. She pinned Naruto with another piercing look. "She did** _ **not**_ **have certain vernacular traits that could pass through me to our son."**

"For the love of _Us_ ," Artemis said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She snapped a glare over at the goddess she considered her greatest enemy. "What did you do _this_ time, Aphrodite?"

"You don't know that I've done anything yet, Artemis! Stop blaming me!"

"Ladies, please, you're _both_ pretty." Apollo joked. He got two scathing glares that made him slink down into his throne. "I'll be quiet."

 **Bullets of sweat started to form upon Naruto's brow. That was the look she gave him after he went off to save Hinata and her sister Hanabi from the misguided third descendant of Kaguya. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to rush off like a hero after one of his friends', especially if said friend had a big crush on him.**

Percy shook his head. "Dude, you don't just do that. Get _permission_ then save the crush girl."

Jason cracked a smile. "That is both deep and insightful, Percy."

"Thanks bro."

"He speaks from experience." Annabeth quipped.

"Annabeth!" Percy whined as the group laughed at him.

 **That week on the couch sucked** _ **balls**_ **.**

All husbands present, minus Hephaestus, winced in sympathy.

The wives, including Aphrodite, nodded firmly.

" **Rey-hime, can you please just tell me what she did?" Naruto asked. Seriously if his mother was trying to stir trouble for him - again - just because she was bored, they were going to have words.**

 **Charmspeak be damned.**

"I do it out of love!" Aphrodite said in a heartfelt tone.

" **What does** _ **Dattebane**_ **mean?"**

 **...Wait, what?**

" **Dattebane?" Naruto asked with a brow arched in bewilderment.**

" **What. Does. It. Mean?" Reyna repeated firmly, her gaze still hard. It was so wrong that Naruto felt turned on by receiving her annoyed glare, really it was, but dammit she just had to look so hot when she glared at him like that, didn't she?**

Annabeth looked at Reyna. "It is a touch smoldering."

"I-!"

"That look that says I can kill you in six different ways? Yep." Piper agreed.

"Hey-!"

"I don't know. I like her when she's smiling more, if I have to be honest." Hazel confessed.

Reyna scowled. "You're all mocking me, aren't you?"

The three girls smiled at each other and then nodded. Reyna glared at them for another moment before she looked back down at the book.

"…I need better friends."

" **Er, well, it doesn't really mean anything," he said and scratched his cheek with his finger. "It's, uh, it's just sort of a verbal tic, ttebayo."**

"Well, I must sound _adorbs_ if that's the case." Aphrodite preened.

" **...Ah. So you** _ **did**_ **inherit your tic."**

 _ **Damn right!**_ **He thought proudly. However his bewildered and confused look remained. Carefully, unsure whether his wife was still irritated with him, Naruto walked up behind her and engulfed her form with his own. His chin rested on her head and both overlooked the village together.**

" **What brought this question on?" He asked tentatively.**

" **Your son."**

Reyna paused as her face shone bright red once more.

"So, will I be expecting another nephew or a niece?" Piper asked with a wide grin.

Reyna wanted to strike Piper with the book, so... _so_ badly.

" **Boruto?" The boy was named for Neji, the only close friend he lost during the war who'd given his life to defend him in a moment of weakness. That and it was really hard to find a name that fit the theme his parents had. Once he was revealed to his father's friends, the toddler had gotten a bronzed nut from his godfather alongside an imperial gold wrench. Naruto had to find a way to get Leo back for his gag gift.**

"What? It's a term of endearment." Leo grinned.

"He could swallow it." Reyna reprimanded him.

"Not if it's on a string. Yeesh."

"He could swallow that, too." Reyna said crisply.

"Yeah, that happens with Dite's line." Ares nodded.

Piper covered her face while Aphrodite looked a touch bashful.

 **He was considering a scroll that promised Icha-Icha, but when opened, released a gallon of running water. It was retribution that was fully backed by Reyna, too.**

 **Reyna had been struck by the wrench during a fit her son threw and had not taken kindly to its origins. Plus, Naruto was sure there were some lingering feelings about the elf-eared demigod. Unfortunately for Leo, none of them were positive and all of them stemmed from his 'mind controlled' actions.**

"Wha-Oh, _come_ on! That was a decade ago! Let it die already!" Leo complained. Reyna huffed and he pointed at the gods. "Seriously, I died for their sins! Isn't that enough?"

"You came back." Nico told him blandly.

"I still _died_ ,dude!"

" **Yes." Reyna's voice broke Naruto from his scheming thoughts and he looked down at her when she looked up at him, a wry grin on her face. "He's apparently taken to saying the word 'Dattebasa', and has decided to use it rather interestingly in class."**

" **Really?" Naruto asked.**

" **The monkey believes that he's been using it in place of swears."**

"Huh, smart kid." Percy chuckled as he elbowed Annabeth. "Must get it from your side of the family."

"We don't swear."

"Maybe, but you do tend to use big words that make it feel like you're swearing," Percy said with a grin. His grin widened when her cheeks flushed. "Aha! I knew it!"

Annabeth simply avoided his smug gaze.

Stupid Seaweed Brain.

 **Pride like no other swelled within Naruto's chest and he laughed. "That's my boy, dattebayo!"**

 **Most parents would be affronted by the suggestion, especially if they had the political standing or power that he did. Not Naruto. Naruto was not so quick to become a bitch for proper manners, for snobs and snooty people that felt that they were above him. Granted he didn't cuss people out left and right, but he didn't plaster a false smile onto his face and kiss ass either. He wasn't a politician - hell, he was hardly even a proper dictator!**

"Boo… _boo_!" Ares jeered. "How can you _not_ be a proper dictator?!"

 **He was a warrior.**

 **He was a shinobi.**

 **He was a demigod.**

 **He was a hero.**

"And orange connoisseur." Nico added with a wry grin.

 **But most importantly, at least to Naruto anyway, he was a** _ **father**_ **. Naruto managed to see his dream to fruition and even managed to start a family, his family.**

 **His wife, a strong warrior in her own right and familiar with the struggle of leadership. Not to mention she wasn't too bad to look at either. She didn't take his crap but didn't give him crap either. The Will of Fire was strong in her, her love for her Camp never dwindled entirely, and her love for Konoha still baffled her former friends. Their love for each other was the only thing that surpassed their love for the village. Well, there may be another thing they loved more than the village.**

"The hot and steamy aggressive animal sex?" Aphrodite wondered aloud.

Reyna banged the book against her head to rid herself of the blush and images that would _just_... _not_... _go_...AWAY!

"Dear, you've already had one child, and another on the way. You probably do it like beasts. And that's a compliment."

"Mom," Piper barely withheld her laughter. "I-I think she's had enough."

Reyna looked thankful.

"Of my son's D? Oh, most girls can _never_ have enough."

"Aphrodite, please!" Hestia sighed tiredly.

"Oh fine!" Aphrodite huffed. "Be that way."

 _ **Their**_ **son. Naruto's hair graced his head, Reyna's cheekbones rested beneath his skin, two whiskers marked over either cheek, Naruto's father's eyes, Reyna's father's nose,**

Reyna made a minor sound of distaste after she read that.

 **and both of their mother's beauty combined was evident in the infant's face. Boruto was perfection, as any proud parent would say of their child. The first time Naruto had been offered to hold him, he was so scared he would screw up. That he would hurt the tiny baby.**

"I know! Ares groaned. "Neck snapping is so easy with them. But then the chicks get all pissy!"

Frank prayed his mom never let Mars hold him. Who knew what would have happened.

 **It was a ridiculous fear, in hindsight, one that washed away as soon as his fingers brushed against the newborn's bundled form. Naruto knew he'd never do anything to harm the baby, intentionally or not. It was his son, his** _ **child**_ **, the proof that he essentially won any bets placed against him back when he was just 'the demon boy'.**

 **Proof that Jinchuriki didn't have to suffer and live short loveless lives.**

"Not if I had anything to say about it." Aphrodite huffed.

 **Proof that shinobi didn't have to fight needlessly in spite of the future, but that they needed to fight to protect it.**

 **Proof that demigods could hope for better lives.**

 **Proof that legends could have that happy ending.**

"Not most of them." Percy begged to differ but grinned at Annabeth. "I think I can manage though."

 **Proof that life was well worth living despite the short time given.**

 **That last thought gave the Nanadaime an idea that made his smile spread across his face.**

" **Hey," his voice was soft and his smile was mischievous, when Reyna looked at him. "What do you say we get out of here, pick up Boruto from school, and go home?"**

" **Don't you have things to do?" She asked, scrutinizing him with a look that would've made him rethink his plan any other day.**

 **Not today.**

" **Kage Bunshin." He refuted. Reyna opened her mouth, closed it, and then gave him another wry smile.**

"Best work hack ever." Leo said with a twinge of envy.

"And stress reliever." Aphrodite wiggled her eyebrows at Reyna.

The Praetor seemed to be considering death by bludgeoning at the rate she banged the book against her head.

She was saved from herself by her friends as they restrained her and Piper took the book away to finish it off.

" **I really wish you weren't Greek."**

 **Naruto grinned. His wife said that only when she was feeling really affectionate. He planted another soft kiss on her lips and, before he swept her off her feet to begin the rapid roof-hop to his son's preschool, he whispered in her ear.**

" **I love you, too, dear."**

"That was so sweet." Piper sighed happily and looked at Reyna. The girl looked like she wanted to go to sleep and possibly never wake up. The daughter of Aphrodite nudged her. "Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad."

"Wait until you become some love interest focus and then you tell me how it feels!" Reyna snapped, with Thalia nodding from where she sat in agreement.

Piper wrapped her arms around Jason and grinned. "Sorry, but we're _destiny_ baby."

"Destiny's Child alright." Leo grinned at his friends.

"That was terrible." Thalia groaned.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Naruto**_ **or** _ **Percy Jackson and the Olympians**_ **.**

 **Reading: Paladin**

"Paladin? We going on a crusade here?" Percy asked.

"I think we call it Peace Keeping now." Jason pointed out.

Frank rolled his eyes. "Just the Americans do."

"Who wishes to read?" Reyna asked.

"I got it." Jason offered as he took the book.

"I wonder who it'll be about this time." Hermes hummed.

Apollo beamed brightly, literally. "Maybe we'll see some knights, and King Arthur-"

"And the Holy Grail?" The messenger god grinned.

"Read my mind, every time. Oh I hope it's the Monty Python one!"

"Idiots." Athena shook her head.

 **The world officially ended when the body of a young man was found on the outskirts of the Jersey Shore. The official report was that the young man died while intoxicated, messing with some illegal fireworks on his boat. The theory settled the nerves of the department, but part of it sounded...outlandish. Bizarre.**

 **Hell, even though it wasn't exactly the most 'P.C.' way to say it, it sounded flat-out** _ **retarded**_ **.**

 **"He had the same residue on his fingers that could be found in fireworks. And it's summer, you know how some of these teenagers get."**

"…That sounds a bit too close for home." Percy frowned.

 **The voice of reason belonged to one of two men seated in a white 2006 Dodge Charger, parked in an alleyway a few blocks from 1PP. He looked a little like a goateed Sam Rockwell, lanky and thin, only his nose was much wider than the actor's and his curly brown hair was pulled back into an unkempt dreadlock ponytail. He wore a brown suit with a red tie, his jacket folded behind his head and his badge on display from where it clipped to his belt and the butt of his issued handgun gleamed from the shoulder holsters it sat in. He stirred the straw of his Starbucks' Soy Latte and looked at the one seated behind the wheel.**

 **"Didn't you ever cut loose and go wild when you were a kid?"**

 **Electric blue eyes closed as a flash of memories flew through his head. Preparing for some sort of duty on a farm, wearing no more than a tunic. The eyes blinked open again and narrowed as the owner looked at the mirror.**

Hera looked at Zeus accusingly. "You didn't…"

"I did what?" The King of Olympus said, looking at anything but his wife's eyes.

"Why did I marry you again?"

"Because he played you as an innocent bird?" Demeter reminded her.

"Thank you, sister."

 **A man in his mid twenties looked back, the hand scratching a blond beard that covered his not fully rounded, yet not entirely squared jaw dropping to grab the simple black coffee that was set in the cup holder. His hair had been cut short and still spiked about naturally, like a bolt of lightning or something had hit him when he was a child.**

Jason paused. "Wow, there's another."

"He really gets around." Percy muttered.

Thalia grumbled while her uncles snickered at her father.

"Bravo brother."

"Truly, a King among Kings."

"We don't know anything yet!" Zeus argued sternly.

 **He wore a grey Henley shirt with the top two buttons undone, his broad shoulders filling out nicely and his forearms on display for the passerby since the sleeves were rolled up. A belt held up dark Levi's and the latest Nikes covered his feet. His gun was on his hip and his badge hung from his neck by a simple chain.**

 **The driver almost smirked; he and his partner were dressed like they stepped off of the set of a modern day 'buddy cop' movie. Instead he moved his coffee to his other hand, resting out the open window and looked at his partner.**

 **"A kid that young is wasted on a freaking boat? With** _ **illegal**_ **grade fireworks? Near the end of the summer?** _ **Alone**_ **? C'mon, Billy Goat, you and I both know that's a load of horse-shit."**

 **Billy Goat, the nickname for his partner, was short for William G. Overtree, a detective in the New York Police Department just as the driver was.**

"Satyr." The campers of Camp Half-Blood said with a deadpan.

"Wasn't that the one from Dite's kid?" Hermes hummed in thought.

"Wow, that felt like forever ago." Leo blinked. "I wonder what ever happened to him?"

 **Both had entered into the police academy together just over six years ago, and both became detectives after their predecessors had botched a missing kid's case, misleading the media** _ **and**_ **accidentally labeling the poor kid as a freaking** _ **terrorist**_ **, of all things.**

"T-That's not me right?" Percy asked.

Annabeth patted his arm. "It's you."

"Wow, glad that came full circle."

"Just a few years later." Nico snorted.

 **With the spots open for grab, Billy Goat and the driver worked their ass off for a year, closing unsolved cases and freshly opened ones with both diligence and determination.**

 **"Maybe, but just let it be for now, okay, Naruto** _ **-kun**_ **?"**

 **"I** _ **will**_ **shoot you. Don't call me that." Naruto, or as he was legally named, Nathan Sparks,**

"That sounds more like a Chip and Dale name." Leo pointed out with a laugh.

"Dude." Jason frowned as he paused in his reading.

"It does. Don't worry, I'm sure Pipes has got one for you."

"I don't!" Piper heatedly denied as her face grew red.

"She does." Aphrodite smiled widely.

 **warned Billy with a frown. That damned nickname had been following him since he'd been caught reading that manga in the locker room. It didn't help that he'd had those stupid whisker marks on his face for as long as he could remember. The others at the station called him such, which was all right for the most part. At least he wasn't Wide Lode or Patty Rat. Those damn suffixes though, they got annoying as hell after a while.**

 **"The chief's covering for someone again, I can feel it-"**

 **He was cut off as a bright red car sped by. Naruto and Billy shared a look before they tossed their respective drinks out the windows of the car. Billy drew his seatbelt over his chest and clipped it into place while Naruto turned on the siren he'd had installed to his car. A shift of the gears and a press of the petal later and they were back on the job.**

 **"Ten bucks says they're joyriders." Naruto offered with narrowed eyes as he followed the lawbreakers and tried to anticipate their turns. They were currently heading towards Fifth Street.**

 **"Make it twenty. I say it's another old lady that just doesn't know how to turn her license in."**

"Oh my Us." Hermes stressed as he dragged his face down. "I've been behind too many of those mortals! I want to site them, but I'm too PR focused."

"Aw." Ares whined, he missed psycho Hermes.

He cut people for no reason back then.

 **Billy shot back as he grabbed the radio. "This is Badge Number L-4-N-N, we're in pursuit of a red ...what the hell is that?"**

 **"A Chevy," Naruto said, focused. His eyes narrowed and sweat began to build on his brow as his adrenaline skyrocketed. Of all the times for his ADHD to kick in, his meds were supposed to repress it, dammit.**

"Wait, he's an adult son of Zeus-"

"Alluded to." Zeus corrected Percy.

"-and he still doesn't know and is taking ADHD meds? Wow, Tyche must really like him."

"…Bow Chika Bow Wow."

Artemis smacked Apollo.

"Needed to be said."

 **He popped the top off of a small pill bottle he pulled from his pocket and dumped a single pill into his mouth. The letters on the Camaro's rear license plate began to rearrange and Naruto blinked his eyes furiously.**

 _ **The hell is E-N-Y-0-R-4-G-3 supposed to mean?**_

Ares broke into laughter. "The dumb shit! He's fucked!"

Hera looked embarrassed, both over her son and her daughter.

 **He wondered once his vision returned to normal just after they passed the Empire State Building. He really had to reschedule an appointment with Dr. Paine (who admittedly had a terrible name considering how generous and kind he was during appointments). It was evident that he needed a larger dose of Adderall.**

 **"Man, they're really booking it." Billy muttered. "Where do you think they're heading?"**

 **"Not a clue," Naruto said as he took a sharp right and nearly crashed into someone in the intersection. "Jesus! Doesn't anyone use their ears anymore!?"**

 **"Nope!" Billy bleated, which made Naruto do a double take. He scrutinized his partner with a confused look on his face. Was it him or was Billy's hair parting oddly in two places? He was pulled from his thoughts when his partner noticed the staring and grabbed the 'Oh-Shit' handle. "Stop staring at me and drive!"**

 **"Right, sorry, meds wore off. Getting distracted." He apologized.**

"It's great when avoiding a pile up, but every little thing makes you jumpy." Percy said in a pained toned. "Barely got my permit."

 **Naruto blinked his eyes furiously as he returned his attention to the red car. He narrowed his eyes when he saw a hand on the driver side window stick out. An arm and then another arm, which then planted either hand on the side of the driver's door, immediately followed it.**

 **A woman's torso popped out, clad in a blood red spaghetti strap top that hardly held her bust at bay. Naruto narrowed his eyes as the woman, her hair oily black and her eyes covered by wraparound sunglasses, turned to grin wildly at him. She pressed a hand to her lips and blew the pursuing officers an obnoxious kiss.**

 **"Ballsy bitch," Naruto said with a frown.**

"She really is." Ares nodded.

Athena just looked annoyed at her fellow war goddess. "I want to stab her."

"See? She brings the family closer!"

Hestia gave Ares a deep frown.

"Uh, yeah, I'll stop talking."

 **He didn't hear any witty jab or snide comment aimed at the woman and chanced another glance to his partner. What he saw made him extremely worried.**

 **Billy was shaking in his seat. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates and bleats, bleats like a goat's bleats, came out of his mouth like childish whimpering. His skin had paled and the hair on his abnormally hairy arms seemed thicker.**

"He doesn't manscape, it's why he doesn't use the office showers." Leo whispered.

"Hey, it's not something to laugh at." Frank frowned.

"Got a furry problem too?"

"No!"

"I think he does." Leo snickered.

 **"Billy! Snap out of i-!"**

 **Naruto was cut off when a semi-truck ran headfirst into the his side of the car. Glass shattered and the two officers became ragdolls as the Dodge rolled. Naruto felt his arms, face, chest and legs get cut. His head smacked twice against the wheel and four times against Billy's. The airbags failed to go off and to make everything worse, the roll came to a stop with them upside down.**

"Whoo!" Ares cheered, getting some looks. "What? I love monster truck night."

"That was a Dodge." Hephaestus told him. "Not a monster truck."

"He wasn't very good at it."

 **Naruto could only groan as his vision went dark. He heard frantic shouts and screams, but among that he could've sworn he heard a whisper.**

 **"It figures that** _ **you're**_ **the first casualty. Won't dear ol' Grampa be proud of me?"**

"Aw shit." Ares groaned.

"And the disappoint snowballs." Hera declared.

 **Naruto opened his eyes and found himself on a beach.**

"Wow, transition change much?" Leo scratched the back of his head.

 **He was sore, and his body was littered with cuts. A dull throb came from his left side, and blood leaked out onto the sands. The taste of saltwater in the air was muted by the metallic tang that layered his tongue and teeth. He felt something heavy on his head, arms, legs and torso, and there was something made of wood in his right hand.**

 **"Commander!** _ **Commander**_ **!"**

 **Weakly, he turned his head to look out towards the sound. Wreckage of wood, dwindling fires, and corpses littered the beach. Blue eyes washed over faces of the fallen and recognition flickered in the back of his mind. He knew them, but at the same time, had no idea who they were. A figure limped out from behind a large wooden obstruction, his right hand clutched tightly over the left arm that hung as dead as Naruto felt.**

"I think I've been to that beach." Apollo hummed in thought.

"I thought he was a cop, not a soldier storming the beach of Normandy." Jason muttered as he continued reading.

 **The lone soldier must've spotted him, because he hurried towards Naruto, stumbling and slipping in the sand. By the time he reached Naruto's side, his body was caked in sand, blood, and splinters. Dark orbs overlooked the damage and pulled the cloth from his arm to the wound on Naruto's side. Two thoughts immediately went through Naruto's head.**

 **The first:** _ **That**_ **can't** _ **be sterile. Great, I'm going to die from infection.**_

"The good ol' days." Apollo smiled fondly.

"Where you spread plague, death, and misery?" Hermes asked him.

"Yeah, those days were cool."

"What about the Middle Ages?" Artemis crossed her arms.

"I rather not talk about it…"

 **And the second:** _ **Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-**_ **OW** _ **! Pressure hurts!**_

 **"Commander, thank-thank the gods. Your quick thinking saved my life." The grateful and medically hindered soldier said to him. Naruto wanted to tell the man that he had absolutely no idea what was going on and wanted to know where his partner was.**

 **Instead, he said, "Boy, your name?"**

 **"Ajax, son of Telamon," the young man said.**

"I don't think he's storming Normandy." Jason surmised his thoughts.

"You think?" Percy asked him.

Hera looked to her husband. "Zeus, explain."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

 **He looked to the side and hope appeared in his eyes. "Rest easy, Commander! The others come! I will fetch them and you will be healed. Then we shall fight for Greece and gain glory in battle as the last of** _ **The**_ _ **Maelstrom**_ **'s men!"**

 **Naruto watched him rise and call over for assistance, words muting and sound becoming dull. The world flickered and shiny orbs danced around the beach. Part of Naruto wanted to call attention to them, to warn the soldiers that approached of their presence, but another wanted to continue staring, awestruck at their greenish glow. The colors of life drained and time seemed to slow slightly.**

 **"Hear me," a deep, powerful voice rattled Naruto's already aching skull. "My pain is yours, and your pain is mine. This war is not one for men to fight, Commander. You are just tools."**

"Looks like he was gunning for someone from the start." Thalia snorted.

 **"Who-Who speaks?" Naruto's voice was no stronger than a whisper. An ancient chuckle echoed around him and shivers went through Naruto's body either from fear or blood loss. The orbs danced closer and Naruto felt his weak heartbeat attempt to race.**

 **"I've names that are as well-known as my** _ **sons'**_ **...but names matter not. Life matters, Commander. You've a wife and son awaiting you in Ithaca. Don't you wish to see them once more? To hold your woman in your arms? To please her in bed again, and again, and again?"**

"Uh, awkward?" Percy said.

"Not really." Aphrodite waved off.

 **Thoughts of times long passed flashed through Naruto's head. He wondered if any of them were his memories or just those of this 'dream', if this even was a dream. The name** _ **Dia**_ **floated in his head, accompanied by the musical laughter of a woman that was associated with the image of a beauty with long, dark hair. The name slipped off of Naruto's tongue, out of his mouth, and he could** _ **hear**_ **the voice's smile turn into a smirk.**

 **"Yes, but if you die, she'll be taken by another. Loved by a lesser man. Touched in a way only** _ **you**_ **should touch her!"**

"Can we move on." Annabeth asked, looking uncomfortable.

 **A faceless figure appeared beside Dia and she turned her attention to him. Naruto wanted to call her away, to face the man in combat and put him in the dirt, but a soothing, calming feeling of warmth washed over him. Images of this beloved Dia looking at another man with a smile that fully reached her eyes, one that was happy, one that was in love, one that was loved in return. A farm appeared in his mind, lands vast and far grander than what they had. A boy with his fair complexion worked the fields alongside this mysterious man, and then relaxed in the evening. Peace overcame the household.**

 **The voice snarled.**

 **"No...No!** _ **Lies**_ **! They are** _ **lies**_ **! Do not listen to them!** _ **Live**_ **, you damned fool!** _ **Live**_ **and return to your beloved! Your son! Show any who try to steal them away your** _ **might**_ **! Make them fear your** _ **power**_ **!"**

"Aunt Hestia just showed him what's what." Apollo whistled.

 **"Saon...Dia..." The words left his lips and Naruto felt a smile spread across his face. His eyes unwillingly but peacefully drifted shut, all whilst the ancient voice let out a furious roar that echoed in his head. The last thought he had prior to his return to slumber was sweet and heartfelt, from Naruto's outside opinion.**

 _ **As long as they are happy, then I am content.**_

"Now that is utterly sweet." Aphrodite cooed. "Love even in death."

 **Consciousness slowly reached out and pulled Naruto from his forced slumber.**

 **At first, he didn't want to move, much like on those days off where he could just sleep in and turn off any concern for the city he might've had, difficult as it was. Then, the buzzing in his ear became too much and Naruto cracked his right eye open to find the source. The chain his badge hung from dangled in his sight. His arms, covered with cuts and glass, fell up (or was it down?) to touch the roof of the car. The sky had grown unnaturally dark outside. The buzzing continued as something reached out and grabbed his right shoulder. A pained groan escaped Naruto's lips and his cracked eye closed.**

 _ **That was one hell of a dream**_ **, he thought.**

"I don't think it was a dream dude." Leo shook his head.

 **The blond felt his injured arm shaken and cracked his eye open again. The buzzing sound slowly cleared up into a familiar voice.**

 **"-han...Nathan...** _ **Naruto**_ **! Wake up!" Billy's concern was heartwarming, really, but he needed to stop shaking his arm.**

 **"Stop shaking me, Billy." Naruto weakly croaked. He blinked a few times and winced as he tried to move his hands. They were numb and heavy at first, but a few gentle finger flexes brought the feeling back. And the pain in his shoulders intensified. Naruto clenched his eyes shut and grimaced. "I think my shoulder's dislocated."**

 **"Which one?" Billy asked.**

 **"Both of them."**

"That right there? That sucks." Percy commented.

"You have healing, that doesn't suck for you." Nico snorted. "The rest of us? It does."

 **"They look fine to me."**

 **Naruto turned and mustered up enough nerve to lock a glare onto his partner. The man was unbuckled and out of the upturned car, though an arm was hugging his left side and he was still on his knees. His hair had fallen out of its ponytail and Naruto noticed two locks that pointed up like horns.**

 **Wait...**

 **"Billy...Have you always had horns or are those just a hallucination from my concussion?"**

"Baby I was born this way~!" Apollo sang with swaying his shoulders.

 **Billy hesitated. That alone answered Naruto's question, which was intentionally a joke, but it raised more.** _ **That**_ **was alarming.**

 **"Yeah, hallucination. I'll radio for a medic and-" The radio Billy had just picked up sparked and broke into pieces in his hand. "...Or, you know, just...Hang tight...I'll get you out of there in a jiffy!"**

 **Naruto just knew he had gained a violent twitch in his right eye. He just** _ **knew**_ **. Seriously, no one could be that bad with puns. No one.**

"Tis not true." Apollo sniffed in disagreement.

 **Deciding to ignore the puns, Naruto waited for his partner to help him out of the predicament he was in. It didn't take long, although the fall from the mild suspension above ground to meet the roof of the car his hands touched hurt. And that was putting it mildly.**

 **Pulled from the car, Billy propped Naruto up against the overturned vehicle, the blond officer's eyes shut as his blood slowly returned to its prior place throughout his body. It wasn't a pleasant experience, and Naruto didn't recommend it to anyone looking for an adrenaline rush. Hell, this adventure alone nearly made him swear off riding the Millennium Force or any other sort of roller coaster ever again.**

"It's just a car accident. You don't swear off coasters for that kinda stuff." Leo brushed this off. "Besides, MF is for babies. Now if _I_ had the rights to build something-"

"We'd all be doomed." Piper dryly told him.

"No! You'd be puking your brains out. Get it right, Beauty Queen."

 **When his senses became a bit clearer, Naruto looked at Billy, hallucinated horns and all.**

 **"Do me a favor, Billy?"**

 **"Yeah?"**

 **Naruto closed his eyes and his lips curled into a sneer.**

 **"Write down that bitch's license plate."**

"Like our plates are even in the system." Hephaestus snorted.

 **Billy's chuckle was akin to a booming belly laugh.**

 **"So...How long were we out...do you think?" Naruto asked through labored breaths as he and Billy hobbled through Manhattan's streets. With their radio useless and little more than what they had on them, they figured that some passerby or the rare noteworthy samaritan of New York City would come by and give them assistance.**

 **The chances of that, however, dropped with each step they took.**

 **"Long enough for us to enter the Twilight Zone."**

 **"...Okay, seriously, how** _ **old**_ **are you?" Naruto asked.**

 **"Fifty-nine." Billy's quick response made both start and come to a stop. Their eyes met, and Naruto felt his hand move for the piece that hung under Billy's armpit. "Er, Twenty-nine. Sorry, Freudian slip."**

"You saved it by this much." Percy had his thumb and index finger together till they were barely touching.

 **"Billy...We've been through a lot over the past six years. I can tell when you're trying to hide something."**

"I guess he didn't." Annabeth looked at her boyfriend.

"Well, not every goat was made perfect."

"Like Grover?" Nico quipped.

"Grover's perfect, in his own unique way." The son of Poseidon claimed.

 **Naruto narrowed his eyes and undid the strap that kept the weapon in place under his partner's shoulders. "So tell me, before I let the best of my instincts take over...why do you have horns?"**

 **"...Hallucination from your concussion?"**

 **"Yeah, maybe fifteen minutes ago I would've bought that, but...they've been pretty prominent for a while now. Not changing in shape or size."**

"Someone hold him down!" Apollo said as he flicked the needle of a syringe. "I'll fix this."

Artemis swatted it out of his hand, the needle nearly hitting Jason's arm.

"Will you cut that out? It doesn't work."

Apollo pouted. Is 'Happy' juice made everything better.

 **Naruto moved so fast, his already protesting body protested even louder as he pulled Billy's own gun on him, and shoved the horned man into the nearest parked car. The handgun pressed into Billy's chest and Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Answers. Now."**

 **"L-Look, Naruto, I'm just trying to-"**

 **"Buddy, I was just flipped in my own goddamn car. I have the** _ **worst**_ **migraine. I'm fairly certain multiple bones are broken and I have internal bleeding. Frankly, it's a** _ **miracle**_ **that I haven't shot you yet. I'm gonna start counting to ten."**

 **"Naruto, just listen man-" Billy grabbed the gun at Naruto's hip and pressed it into one of the open cuts in his side. Naruto hissed, but didn't relent in the slightest. "Let me go.** _ **I'm**_ **going to count to ten. I'll explain everything once you see a doctor."**

 **"Considering you're jabbing a gun into my wound, I'm gonna pass on that offer." Naruto pulled the hammer back with his thumb. "Five."**

"Ha! He can't count." Ares sneered.

"Or he's doing a _you_ and starting earlier." Athena corrected.

"…Whatever."

 **"Wh-You said ten!" Billy faltered.**

 **"Situation changed." Naruto grumbled. "Four."**

"See?"

Ares just grumbled, cursing under his breath.

 **"Whoa, hold on man, let's not do anything we'll regret!"**

 **"Three."**

 **"Nathan, I've been your partner for six years!" Billy pleaded. Tears, or what looked like them, pricked at the corner of his eyes. The barrel digging into Naruto's cut trembled. "Don't make me do this."**

 **"Have you? I don't know. I've been unconscious for the past few hours. Who's to say that you're the same guy I was in the car with?" Naruto grinned weakly, praying his bluff would pay off.**

Hades stroked his chin. "The freaky paranoia is there."

"I agree. It's all him." Poseidon murmured in agreement.

"Let's not." Zeus glared at his brothers.

 **He needed answers and he needed them now, something in his gut churned the wrong way, and it wasn't helping the current situation. "Maybe you're a green man from Mars. For all I know you're a devil come up from below to drag me down to Hell. Never been much of a religious man, but I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe this is limbo, or maybe it's** _ **all**_ **a hallucination. End of the line, I got nothing to lose by shooting you. Except maybe my job, but you covered most of the slack on that anyway. Now where was I? Oh right.** _ **Two**_ **."**

 **"Gods...dammit, Naruto." Billy closed his eyes. The gun lowered from Naruto's side and dropped from Billy's hand. "Okay...Di immortals, let's talk. Just...Just put the gun away."**

 **"..." Naruto's thumb moved the hammer back up.**

 **"Hey! There's another satyr!"**

"He's been had! Run goat dude!" Leo called out.

 **The two officers looked to the one that shouted, a kid, no older than fifteen. He, along with a few others stood down at the end of the street. They were all dressed in what looked like the armor worn in that movie** _ **King of Sparta**_ **.**

Piper shook her head. "Should have seen that reference coming."

 **Swords and shields in their hands, one had a bow, and another had a large axe.**

 **"Thank the gods, hey! You kids got a cell phone?! My partner needs an ambulance!" Billy called as he pushed himself out of Naruto's grip. He stumbled forward and waved at them. "He's also clear-sighted! Accident jarred whatever blocks were put on him."**

 **"Kill the satyr, take the cop to Castellan."**

Hermes winced. "Oh, that's not our side."

"You think?" Dionysus drawled.

 **"...Wait, what?"**

 **It's strange, Naruto decided in hindsight, to see someone you were bluffing to kill die at another's hand. Billy had an arrow in his stomach before Naruto could fully register what the teenager said. Hell, Naruto was sure that it happened before Billy himself realized it. Billy took another two arrows before he fell. He hit the ground with labored breaths and an anguished, pained, angry yell rippled through the air.**

 **"Billy!" Naruto was surprised when he recognized the yell as his own. He snapped out of the shock and lifted his partner's gun. The hammer was pulled back, a finger around the trigger tightened and the archer's head snapped back.**

"Man am I glad that Kronos never had guns used on us." Percy commented at seeing the headshot.

 **The other kids seemed shocked, surprised even. Like they couldn't fathom that someone would shoot a gun at them.**

 **Idiots.**

"Pop'em full of holes!" Ares cackled like a madman.

"So glad we use swords and spears." Percy rubbed his temples.

 **It was sad how fast they dropped.**

"Because you have ammunition." Nico scowled. "Any idea can shoot a gun."

"No." Ares and Apollo amazingly agreed.

"You have to have talent or you're nothing but a wannabe thug." Ares grunted.

Apollo nodded. "Hello, snipers exist for a reason! Mainly me."

"You?!"

The sun god flashed his thug of a brother a cheeky smile.

 **Naruto's chest was heavy, his breathing hard, and tears fell like waterfalls from his eyes. He'd been rough a time or two while on the beat, took a few S.W.A.T. classes before and performed a few raids on drug houses. Never, though, never had he had to fire his sidearm on someone a decade or so younger than him. Never had he had shot to kill so ferociously, so relentlessly, mercilessly...or accurately.**

"ADHD, serving demigod veterans since the Fifth Age." Jason surmised.

"Nailed the quote." Hermes said, giving him a thumbs up.

 **At the moment, he didn't care about the five or so young bodies that lay dead in the center of the street. Running on whatever it was that had him moving as fast as he did, Naruto dropped to his knees next to Billy. The man was gone, eyes glazed over, stuck forever in an endless stare locked on the stormy sky.**

 **"You dumb ol' Goat..." Naruto whispered, putting a hand on the corpse's chest. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried for his partner. "I wasn't going to kill you man...I wasn't...I swear...I swear to Christ...God dammit, Billy."**

"Wrong names." Apollo stage whispered.

 **Then, as if things couldn't get any weirder, Naruto felt the body become lighter, smaller. A strong, pleasant scent filled the air. The body beneath his hand became intangible, Naruto nearly fell face first into the street. It became a bright golden dust before it swirled around, over the spot where Billy's head lay, and sunk into the ground.**

 **A daffodil sprouted through the cement.**

 **"...God...What the** _ **fuck**_ **...? What the** _ **actual**_ **fuck!?"**

"Is that truly the strangest thing he's seen today?" Reyna asked.

"No, but it is weird to see."

"Hm."

Piper shook her head, leave it to nerves of steel Reyna to be confused by this.

 **Naruto threw the gun in his other hand away, sending it clacking across the sidewalk. He grabbed at his head and fell forward, curled into a fetal position caused by fear, confusion, exhaustion, anger, and any other emotion that could be thought of, had been thought of or will be discovered. A yell filled with these emotions, incoherent though it was, escaped his throat.**

 **Naruto reared back, his hands dragging down his face to form fists at his sides, and screamed with all his might at the cloudy, dreary sky.**

 **"** _ **WHAT**_ _ **THE**_ _ **FUCK**_ _ **IS**_ _ **GOING**_ _ **ON**_ **!?"**

"The Mist has cleared~!"

"Leo, drop the act." Thalia rolled her eyes.

"Hey! My voice overs are killer!"

Apollo made a wishy washy motion with his hand.

 **Although unexpected, the response wasn't surprising. Naruto was too caught up in his emotions to be caught off guard now. Too high on his adrenaline's adrenaline rush to be surprised by what lumbered its' way around the corner. With a giant mace in its hand and a massive round grey eye in the center of its forehead, a creature from the storybooks stomped into view.**

 **"Meat!" The cyclops licked its lips and readied its World of Warcraft worthy toy above its head. "Need t' tenderize!"**

 **"...You've...** _ **Got**_ **to be shitting me." Naruto stared at the creature, almost frozen with disbelief. He was about ready to welcome the blow when he remembered his dream.** _ **Dia**_ **. The wonderful woman who'd somehow wormed her way into his dream-self's heart. She was waiting, somewhere, he could feel it. She was out there. Dia had answers.**

"As true love does!" Aphrodite called out with a cheer.

"Gag me." Artemis stuck out her tongue.

Aphrodite seemed delighted by the idea.

 **"Hold still!" The mace was brought down with enough force to shatter the blacktop entirely, revealing the dirt that lay beneath it. Naruto moved in the split second before it came down. He dove for** _ **his**_ **discarded gun, not Billy's gun on the sidewalk, no, that was empty.** _ **His**_ **gun, the one that was dropped before Billy's murderers revealed themselves, was scooped into his hand with ease.**

 **"Fuck you, lard ass." Naruto growled from his position on the ground. He unloaded the entire magazine into the one-eyed monster's face. Nine bullets. One target. Simple enough math.**

"Math is against us my friend." Percy said darkly.

Athena smiled widely at this.

 **Or so he thought.**

 **Then again, in a** _ **rational**_ **world, his math would be excessively accurate. In a** _ **rational**_ **world, he and his partner would've already been taken to a hospital, given a few days leave, and meet up for beers and movies as bachelors were wont to do. In a** _ **rational**_ **world, his partner-no, his best friend wouldn't have been killed by a bunch of teens, which would then send Naruto into a flying rage that resulted in their deaths.**

"Rational? Please dude. It's overrated." Leo scoffed at this.

"Or just in your mind." Piper told him.

"In all our minds!"

 **Naruto forgot one simple thing: Ever since he woke up after his car wreck, rationality took its coat from the hanger, picked up its bag, and walked out the fucking front door without so much as a "Good-bye."**

 **All nine of Naruto's bullets, all of which were large enough to seriously cause facial damage to the point dental records would be rendered nearly useless for identification, passed right through the monster's face like he was made of water.**

 _ **...Are you fucking shitting me?**_ **Naruto stared in disbelief while the cyclops blinked and then sneezed, as if it'd just been tickled with a feather. Then Naruto fought for air as a meaty hand seized him by the throat and lifted him off of the ground.**

 **"Bad meat!" The cyclops glared at him and shook him a bit. "You no still! Meat no move!"**

"Stop making cyclops look bad dude." Percy scowled.

"It's their nature," Zeus smirked towards Poseidon, who scowled much like his son.

 _ **Not going to be a problem in a few seconds...**_ **Naruto thought as he feebly struggled for air. His legs were weak and kicked, hoping to land a blow and maybe – Let's not lie, it was just a reactive gesture. Blue eyes began to roll upward as oxygen became harder and harder to obtain. Hope slowly climbed its way out the window. Acceptance began to turn the handle on the door in order to come in, but Stubbornness was doing its' best to hold the door shut.**

 _ **Not yet.**_ **Two words that held so much meaning for Nathan "Naruto" Sparks. He never gave in during boot camp. He never stopped working on a case that'd already been closed if it rubbed him the wrong way. He didn't stop his pursuit unless some otherworldly force** _ **made**_ **him stop.**

 **Aegis.**

"Excuse me?" Thalia quirked a brow. Reyna doing much the same as Athena eyed her Father.

 **...Where the hell did that come from?**

 **Aegis.**

Thalia rubbed her bracelet while Reyna held her glittering cloak.

 _ **What is that? What even is that?**_ **His subconscious worked overtime while his consciousness focused on the whole 'AIR! NEED AIR!' scenario.**

 **A-E-G-I-S.**

 **Greek.**

 **Myth.**

 **Shield-No.** _ **Weapon**_ **.**

 _ **What**_ **is** _ **that!?**_ **Naruto's subconscious roared furiously. His consciousness took a fraction of a fraction of a** _ **fraction**_ **of a second to lend its help. The two halves of the same mind came up with a conclusion instantly. It was the key. His salvation. How? Why? What'd he have to do? Wish real hard? Pray to Jesus? Accept the unrelenting and murderous Chthulu as his one true dark lord and savior?**

"It depends if he does the crazy blood orgy, but-!"

Artemis kicked her brother in the shin.

"Gah! Stop doing that!"

Artemis said nothing, it had all been a reflex.

 **...** _ **Fuck, man, I don't know I just live here.**_

 **Oh, once Naruto got out of this he was going to kick his own smart ass.**

 _ **Maybe...**_ **His subconscious began as Naruto's vision just started to blacken at the edge.** _ **Maybe I have to say it. Like, like the Green Lantern oath. Fuck, Billy just turned into a flower! Anything's possible!**_

 **"A-...A..." Naruto gasped out, his hands clawing furiously at the Cyclops' hand around his throat.**

 _ **Oh, right. Choking. That's a thing right now. Hey! Hey dipshit! Can you hear me?**_

 **No. Dying.**

 _ **Yeah, yeah. Do that on your own time! Right now, you need to get your balls out of your purse, summon your inner Manhattanite, and pretend this fucker just cut you off in the express lane without his blinker on, threw trash onto the highway and did it all while he was yammering away on his cell phone!**_

"…That ass." Percy narrowed his eyes.

"Oh great," Leo drawled. "Here comes the New Yorker."

"Manhattanite."

"He's very stern on that." Annabeth whispered to Leo.

"No? You think?"

 **Goddamn...Naruto would later realize in hindsight that his subconscious, well...it was sort of badass. But he'd never admit it.**

 _ **You just did.**_

 **...Smartass.**

"I think he needs a psychiatrist." Nico commented. "Even I don't have voices in my head."

"That's not a hereditary trait right?" Thalia wondered aloud.

Poseidon and hades made to comment, but the fierce look on Zeus' face silenced them.

 _ **We gonna die bickering or what?!**_

 **Naruto closed his eyes, mustered up as much energy as he could into saying the word. With a deep breath, the one that could potentially be his last, Naruto let his head roll back, and once more he shouted at the sky.**

 **"AEGIS!"**

 **...Well, as far as last words go, it's better than screaming 'Poop Train' or cussing at the top of your lungs. Nothing happened, and Naruto felt that maybe dying without shouting like an idiot at the sky would've probably been the better path to take.**

"He died as he lived, an idiot." Ares sniggered.

 **Then, faintly, he heard it.**

 **A sharp whistle, something rapidly cutting through the sky, swirling as it flew. Whatever it was collided with a loud** _ **clang**_ **into the back of the Cyclops' head. The surprise attack from behind made the one-eyed monster release Naruto. The NYPD officer dropped to the ground and greedily sucked in air.**

"I want to make a joke, but need I honestly say it?" Hades asked Poseidon.

"Maybe?"

"No." Zeus frowned deeply.

 **An object landed beside Naruto with a clatter. A large round shield with possibly the most** _ **hideous**_ **thing plastered on it. Decorated with gold rings that drew attention to the** _ **thing**_ **– Medulva? Megatron?**

"She's not that high on the villain totempole." Percy disagreed.

Seriously, it was Megatron? Who can compete with that other than the Titans or Giants? Nah, they still weren't evil enough.

 **Whatever, Naruto wasn't good at history – the shield was otherwise a unique shade of bronze.**

 **"Ow! Head hurt!"**

 **Oh right. The LARP-worthy Lardass was still walking around.**

 **Time to rectify that.**

 **Naruto wobbly rose to his feet, grabbing the edge of the shield as he did, and swayed from one side to the next. His blurry vision was just clear enough to make out the Cyclops' attention still on him. And, go figure, the mace had been lifted one more time.**

 **"Yeah...No." Naruto used what remained of his strength to throw the shield like a disc.**

"And now he's Captain America." Apollo applauded. "Now if only it was taking place in Brooklyn."

 **What he would've liked to have seen was the sudden decapitation of the cyclops' head.**

 **To be fair, Naruto would rather liked to have woken up from this fucked up nightmare, but he'll take what he can get.**

 **In actuality, what Naruto got was a choppy toss that flew two feet in front of the cyclops' head, and bounced off the brick wall of the building beyond.**

"Ha! Failure!" Ares boomed with laughter.

 **The shield bounced back at the building behind him, shattering a window as it did.**

 **Evidently...Captain America, he was not.**

"He did better than me." Percy confessed.

"Anyone can throw better than you." Ares snorted.

 **"Oh, come** _ **on**_ **." Naruto groaned as the Cyclops lifted its mace one more time. There was a faint clang, then another, and another, and then a crash. Naruto and the cyclops looked up to the window that the shield had bounded into to see it fly back out. It soared down from the window, still flying strong. Frankly, Naruto didn't think he threw it that hard. It bounced off of a light post and struck the corner of a building before it flew back towards them. It hit the rim of a car and rebounded right at the Cyclops.**

 **That is when the monster's head was severed from its torso.**

"Okay, I had a part in that, no question." Apollo declared. "No one can make a shot like that, unless they're a god!"

"He did it though." Artemis teased him.

"He. Had. Help." Apollo glanced at Zeus.

 **The shield bounced one more time off of a building before it landed awkwardly at Naruto's feet, ugly** _ **thing**_ **facing the street while the grip faced Naruto. The officer of the law looked between the shield, the decapitated and disintegrating monster, and back before he nodded.**

 **"Okay. It's official." Naruto picked the shield up and settled it on his left arm. "It's either a massive dream...or it's the end of the world. Really hoping on the former, but banking on the latter."**

"Bank on that." Percy nodded.

 **That said, Naruto left the side street in hopes of getting back to his department, and maybe getting some answers.**

 **Someone had to know what the fuck was going on.**

 **During his walk, Naruto began to wonder just** _ **where**_ **everyone was. It was like the city, for the first time since the Twin Towers fell, had taken the rest of the night off. Really, not one dog barked in the distance, there were absolutely no car horns blaring, hell there weren't any cars on the streets at all! How did they manage that!? That's** _ **eight**_ _ **million**_ **people (give or take a good** _ **thousand**_ **) who apparently unanimously decided: "Nah, not feeling NYC today. Let's go to Brazil or Canada or something."**

"A city in sleep. You know, it's weird they never used mortals as hostages." Annabeth hummed I thought.

"Let's just be thankful." Percy told her.

"Defending Manhattan sounds like it was a lot easier than storming the Titan's mountain." Jason commented.

"We had a lot less people, so no. You had it easier."

"We had to deal with Ladon."

"…You still had it kinda easier." Percy stubbornly noted.

 **There were usually thefts of grand scales, looting, or even low-key murders going on nonstop in the Big Apple. What, did Superman show up while he was unconscious and sweep up the streets?**

"Bah, boring ass pansy." Ares said in disgust.

"Says you." Mr. D retorted with a glare.

 **Seriously though, if there was some sort of alien ship landing and he missed it, Naruto was going to be** _ **severely**_ **pissed, and he was already in a bad mood.**

 **These were the thoughts that ran rampant through Naruto's mind when he came across the oddest group of girl scouts he'd ever seen.**

"I'm going to punch him." Thalia gnashed her teeth.

Apollo laughed as his twin readily agreed with her Hunter.

 **Silver cloaks covered the girls that were no younger than ten and no older than fifteen. There were possibly fourteen, maybe less, in total, and they all had bows and arrows that were the same silver as their cloaks.**

 **For the record, they did have clothes on under their cloaks, but Naruto just did not care enough about them when he saw the bows, quivers and arrows they aimed his way.**

Zeus rubbed his eyes, this was going to be a problem.

"Shoot him in the knee!"

"Thalia!" Her father scolded.

 **He felt that the threat of being done in like Billy G. Overtree, may the beloved Goat of the ninth precinct forever pollinate in peace, was far more important than taking in the attires of a bunch of kids.**

 **One of the girls, fifteen, give or take, with eyes a similar shade as his own, freckles across her face and spiky punk hair that resembled his blond mop when he let it grow out, stepped forward. Around her head was a tiara.**

"This should go swimmingly."

Thalia glared at Percy for his terrible remark.

 _ **...If this is one of those LARP things or whatever Tammy keeps trying to invite me to, I'm going on a mass murdering spree.**_ **Naruto decided. Hey, it was either the end of the world or a dream, you are** _ **not**_ **allowed to judge. Oh, wait. He had a shield on his arm. Did that mean he was already LARP-ing or whatever? ...Well, he did technically kill those kids...**

 **"Where did you get that?" The tiara-wearing Girl Scout asked, a finger pointed at the shield on his arm.**

 _ **...Demanding little bitch, inn't she?**_ **Naruto thought.**

"Bitch?! You are asking for it buddy!" Thalia shouted in rage.

"I think he's just having a bad day." Hazel told her.

Apollo was about to sing, but Artemis' threatening gaze shut him up.

 **Well, it wasn't the first annoyance he had to deal with today. He lifted the shield towards her, and she averted her eyes to the rim, as if she couldn't handle staring at the ugly** _ **thing**_ **that marred its center. Not that Naruto could blame her, but really, it wasn't that bad. He faintly recalled seeing something much worse somewhere along the line.**

 **"It came to me after I called for it." Naruto said simply. "Shouted 'Aegis' and-Whoa!"**

 **The shield on his arm folded in upon itself, becoming smaller and smaller until it became a bronzed Rolex GMT Master II. Somehow, Naruto knew, he just** _ **knew**_ **it was a watch made for a pilot. And he'd never even been to an airport before, Hell, he avoided the damn things. He preferred to drive across the country to get from one place to another in his fixed up 1975 Volkswagen Bus with Zee – Wait, no, that's not right. He drove a 1939 Ford De Luxe Convertible. Didn't he? He wrecked it after he dropped Janine Taffy off at her home after a night at the shake shop.**

"Man, he's having an identity crisis." Leo whistled.

Dionysus snorted. "You mortals have such tiny minds, it's amazing he's having such trouble keeping tabs on them all."

 **"For the love of God..." Naruto groaned as another migraine struck and put both hands to his head. A few moments passed and the headache ebbed away, Naruto looked up to see the confused and wary girl scouts still aiming arrows at him. He grimaced and his hand went to rest on his partner's reloaded sidearm, which he had tucked in the back of his pants, and then dropped it to his side. He** _ **really**_ **didn't want to kill a bunch of kids for no reason. (The first group didn't fall in that category; they killed his now flower-fied partner. They weren't innocent, PTA protesters be damned.)**

 **"Sorry, girls, I've been having a** _ **very**_ **rough night." Naruto returned his full attention to the apparent leader. "So, what'd you want to know about A...er, uh, the watch?"**

 **"It's** _ **my**_ **shield." The girl claimed. "I want it back."**

"That dirty thief!" Thalia scowled.

"Hey." Hermes said with an annoyed look.

"I'm sticking to my claim."

 **"Fine, whatever." Naruto sighed and put a hand on the watch's latch. What was supposed to be an easy, if not elegant, removal became very,** _ **very**_ **difficult. Naruto almost wanted to say the damn thing tightened around his wrist, which caused him to wince in pain. "Gah, what the fuck...?"**

"There are impressionable girls there, honestly. Such language." Hestia shook her head.

"They're not really impressionable." Artemis mumbled to herself.

 **"C'mon, I can't sit around all night!" The teenager displayed her age groups' traditional impatience very well as she tried to rush the too-tired-of-this-shit-to-the-point-being-irritable-wasn't-worth-it blond man.**

 **"I'm trying to get it off, alright? Just wait a goddamn second!" Naruto snapped with a glare that she returned tenfold. He grimaced and managed to slip two fingers under the strap, pulling at the watch in an effort to snap it off.**

 **"Do you want me to do it?" Tiara-Girl asked a minute later. All effort to remove the watch halted and a thunderous glare was leveled on the impudent, impatient and frankly very** _ **irritating**_ **girl.**

"Not my fault you can't get a watch off, police man." The Hunter snorted at his annoyance.

 **"Listen,** _ **brat**_ **." Naruto growled as he towered over the teen, becoming unnaturally pleased when a flicker of something resembling fear danced in the younger girl's eyes. "I'm trying to get this off of my arm as best I can. For the record, I've had a really** _ **shitty**_ **day. My partner, who was also my best friend, and I got in a wreck caused by a brain dead ass wipe that didn't know how to recognize a police siren. Then, after I wake up upside** _ **down**_ **in** _ **my**_ **wrecked car, I notice my best friend has two** _ **horns**_ **sticking out of his head.** _ **Then**_ **– and this is the** _ **kicker**_ **so listen up buttercup,**

"Buttercup?!"

"Can you stop screaming?" Jason asked his sister.

"No!"

"Well, I tried…"

Piper gave him a pity pat on his shoulder.

 **because it's important –** _ **then**_ **, a couple of punks** _ **your**_ **age playing whatever Dungeons & Dragons bullshit game you're all apparently into come round the corner of the street and **_**kill**_ **my best friend with a bunch of arrows just like you and your cheerleaders look like you're about to do to me,**

"Cheer…leaders?" Artemis' face darkened.

Apollo leaned towards Hermes and whispered. "Get to the bunkers."

Hermes nodded.

 **so I might've just committed homicide on a grand scale, but, what happened after** _ **that**_ **bout of violence really, really,** _ **really**_ **pushed me over the edge."**

 **Naruto took a moment to take a deep breath. The girls, be this a dream or nightmare or end of the world shit storm, would probably call him crazy and run away once he finished his recap. To be honest, it wouldn't break Naruto's heart if they did.**

 **"After I watched my friend's corpse turn into a** _ **fucking flower**_ **, guess what comes around the corner? A Mother. Fucking.** _ **Cyclops**_ **." Naruto chuckled and shook his head. "Can you believe that shit!? A** _ **fucking**_ **cyclops! With a goddamn** _ **mace**_ **that looks like it came straight out of** _ **The Lord of the Rings**_ **! So** _ **excuse**_ **me, your** _ **majesty**_ **, if I don't fucking** _ **care**_ **whether or not you and your girlfriends are in a hurry. I'm doing the best I can. Don't like it?" Naruto leaned in and snarled. "Piss. Off."**

 **The girl was taken aback at the utter** _ **rage**_ **that wafted off of Naruto.**

"Smart move for the little pansies." Ares snickered while Artemis looked ready to make him have one less leg.

 **Again, when he looked back, Naruto would feel terrible. He never lost his temper so easily like that, but when all of those stressors – combined with a possible total loss of sanity – hit an adult like that, rationality took the bench and lashing out became more possible. Perhaps if they'd met when he hadn't just seen his best friend die, killed his killers in a bout of rage, and was then attacked by something he thought to be a mythical creature, he wouldn't have snapped as he did. Then again, the girl's temper seemed to be just as bad as his.**

 **She did, after all, give him a static-filled punch to the face in retaliation for his threat.**

"So a typical Sunday dinner." Ares grinned at his mother.

Hera scowled and refused to acknowledge his words.

Jason just gave his sister a look.

One that Thalia readily ignored. With that, he continued to read.

 **Oddly enough, the shock that went through Naruto's body after her strike felt as though it rejuvenated him. He stumbled back and blinked several times.**

 **"...Holy shit that felt good." The sound of bowstrings going taut made him shake his head and look in the girls' direction again. "Are you-? I'm trying to give you your fucking watch back!"**

 **"Whose side are you on!? Olympus' or the Titans?" The girl demanded. Naruto's eye twitched violently.**

"I think he made his intentions clear." Annabeth told Thalia.

"I am pissed off at him."

"…Not really an excuse." Percy rolled his eyes at her.

"Says you!"

 **"Olympus...Titans...Girl, I'm a** _ **fucking**_ **police officer of the NYPD. You know what that means?!" Naruto snapped. "I live in the** _ **real**_ **world! Not Imaginationland!"**

 **"Who were the kids you killed, what did they look like!?" The girl demanded. "Answer or die!"**

 **"Girl, don't make me shoot you and your friends!" Naruto growled as he pulled his concealed weapon out and aimed at her.**

"Do it, do it, do it." Ares started to chant, but it didn't catch on. "Aw screw you guys."

 **"We'll fill you full of arrows before your finger will pull the–!"**

 **"THAT IS** _ **ENOUGH**_ _ **!**_ **" A massive bolt of lightning fell from the sky, striking the ground between Naruto and the girl scouts. The impact made the two sides, or rather, the lone individual and the group of girls, shield their faces. When the debris' smoke cleared, a terrifyingly powerful man stood between them, wearing what looked like a Greek toga. His hair was the same shade of black as the tiara-wearing teenager's, and his eyes were like two orbs of electricity as he glared at the silver-wearing girls.**

"You were in the middle of a major battle and you still choose to stop this?" Poseidon quirked a brow.

Zeus snorted. "If Dionysus can do it, so can I. It's very simple."

"So you say, brother."

 **"Thalia Grace, you are Artemis' Lieutenant and a Hunter. Whatever gifts and treasures beforehand have been given up, as you've given your life to the Hunt. The shield is** _ **not**_ **yours." The man announced.**

Thalia looked at her father, somewhat hurt.

Zeus didn't offer a response as he simply ignored the look.

 **The girl, Thalia, looked ready to protest, but held her tongue. The man's attention drifted to the wary Naruto, who had redirected his aim from Thalia to the newcomer's head. The next three words got quite the reaction from Thalia. "It never was."**

"Oh snap."

Thalia glared daggers at the deadpan tone Nico used.

 **"...What?" Thalia stammered. "B-But, the Green Mansion-! The treasure Hal-!"**

 **"Was meant for the right** _ **hero**_ **, but** _ **he**_ **...was preoccupied." The man interjected, his attention back on the girl that looked like she could be his daughter. (In hindsight, yeah, Naruto wanted to smack himself for not making the connection. Really. He'd dealt with enough strained family disputes to recognize a father-daughter conversation.)**

"I'd barely call it that." Thalia whispered harshly under her breath.

 **The man looked away, his attention far to the east. "I must go. This moment was granted to me by ...** _ **Poseidon's**_ **surprise attack on Typhon. Take him to the Camp's Command Center, Thalia Grace."**

 **"But Lady Artemis-!"**

 **"** _ **My**_ **authority as** _ **King**_ **supersedes** _ **hers**_ **!" The man snapped, daring the girl to say otherwise.**

Artemis glared at her father. "Don't tell my hunters what to do, father."

Zeus raised a brow. "Oh? Then mayhaps you should teach them to not talk back to their king."

Artemis pouted at this, grumbling all the while.

 **"Keep that in mind...Lieutenant of Artemis."**

 _ **...I feel like I'm missing an insane amount of backstory here...**_ **Naruto thought as he warily kept his eyes on the two before the man left just as he appeared, in a giant crack of lightning. A moment passed before Naruto slowly lowered his gun.**

 **"So...Thalia, huh? You're a lieutenant?"**

 **"Just shut up and follow us." Thalia spat as she rounded on her feet and stormed away, leading her gob smacked gaggle of girls towards the Empire State Building.**

 **With nothing better to do, and filled with more questions than answers, Naruto did just that, all while his mind spun.**

 **"Okay...So...Let me see if I've got this right." Naruto rubbed his head from where he sat within the Empire State Building's lobby. "For the past millennia, any advancement in the modern world, can be most likely attributed to the Olympians. They caused the World Wars, like they did Troy, and despite everyone thinking they were myths, they kept on goin', popping kids out left and right with mortals...and monsters are hidden by some Fog thing? Am I right so far?"**

 **"It's called the Mist." The correction came from the camper who'd been assigned to bring him up to speed. An injured girl with grey eyes and blonde hair that had princess curls coming down from the side.**

"It's always about the curls." Annabeth pouted.

"I like them." Percy smiled towards her, making Annabeth fluster and curl some hair in her fingers.

"Gag me."

"I wish." Nico sighed at Thalia's remark.

 **She said her name was Annabeth Chase. She was a cute thing for a sixteen-year-old girl. Whoever she decided to date was bound to be one of the luckiest kids alive.**

"Damn straight." The son of Poseidon grinned.

 **Although, she did remind Naruto of someone...**

 **"You come back alive, Captain Roger Stevenson," a grey eyed girl with bright red lipstick said. A smile crossed his face and a calloused hand lifted up to cup her cheek. She leaned into it and planted a gentle kiss on the inside of his palm. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.**

 **"Don't you worry about anything. Just save a dance for me, Maggie." He requested as a nearby train whistle blew. "I'll come back without a scratch. I got my dad's lucky watch, remember?"**

"Wow, he's got to have like multiple wives or something." Frank whistled. "Talk about a story to read about."

"We technically are." Hazel giggled at him.

"But I'm talking about the whole real thing. Not snippets."

"I can agree to that." Reyna smiled at the thought.

 **"Okay...But not a scratch," Maggie said firmly. He laughed and gave her another kiss.**

 **"I promise."**

 **"Swear to god?"**

"Which?" The gods asked all at once.

 **"Maggie," he said softly. He pulled out a small velvet box, fiddled with it in his hand and then got down on his knee. Her eyes filled with tears, the happiest tears he'd ever seen before in his life. "Consider this the promise of a lifetime."**

"I would be most touched, if he hasn't have done this over a dozen times." Hera sighed. It was such a shame he was a bastard.

That always ruined touching scenes like this.

 **"Are you still awake, or has your consciousness finally given out?" Annabeth asked from where she typed away at a laptop, stirring Naruto from the vision.**

 **"Yeah, yeah, j-just tired." Naruto rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands over his face. "So, for the past fifty years, there's been this ominous Doomsday Prophecy hanging over the world's head that they pretty much disregarded about a decade or so ago, and now their biggest baddy Chronic-"**

 **"Kronos." Annabeth absentmindedly corrected.**

 **"What. Ever." Naruto drawled uncaringly, mustering up the most annoyed glare he could at the half-distracted girl. So** _ **what**_ **if he got the big baddy's name wrong? Weren't they trying to** _ **defeat**_ **him? Soldiers practiced dehumanizing on the enemy for a reason. Naruto grimaced as his thoughts went back to the strange brief vision. Was he a soldier? No, he was a cop. Nathan Sparks, born...October Tenth...1921...Right? ...No, no, 1875...He was a centennial...Wasn't he?**

 **"Hey!" Naruto looked up to meet Annabeth's eyes. "How old are you anyway?"**

 **"...I don't even know anymore..." Naruto muttered, his eyes downcast.**

"I knew that feeling." Thalia nodded in agreement and hated that she with relating to this guy.

He was a dick.

 **"Well, you can't be too old. Thalia's around your age..."**

 **"...Thalia's** _ **fifteen**_ **." Naruto drawled.**

"Eternally. It's scary." Jason quipped, getting a foot in his face from his sister. "Get your camp socks out of my face!"

"No." Thalia said oh so maturely.

 **"It's complicated." Annabeth sighed. "There's too much to explain in too little time, but I have a theory. You're a son of Zeus, Thalia's brother, maybe a few months older-"**

 **"Annabeth." Naruto cut in roughly, his eyes narrowed. "I'm just now accepting that Olympians are real. That my friend, who I trusted my life to for the past six years, was a satyr. A** _ **goat**_ **-** _ **man**_ **. That there is a illuminati level** _ **war**_ **going on** _ **right now**_ **, being fought by high school kids and younger, while the gods fight off one of the strongest entities that has apparently walked this Earth** _ **once**_ **before. I'm only going to warn you once. Leave my parentage out of it."**

"Touchy much?" Leo snorted.

"It's not hard to understand." Thalia grimaced at once again, agreeing with this Naruto.

 **"Face the facts, Mr. Sparks, you took Thalia's punch like it was nothing! Her shield,** _ **your**_ **shield, came when you called it!" Annabeth protested. "Zeus** _ **himself**_ **intervened before you two started to fight! You're a son of-!"**

 **"I said** _ **don't**_ **!" Naruto snapped as he rose to his feet and stormed away from the girl. He could only handle so much. It was** _ **too**_ **much. Monsters and gods, yeah, he could wrap his head around it. He liked science fiction and fantasy shit, not enough to LARP or whatever, but enough to escape the dull drab and the repetitive reality that surrounded him with movies and books.**

 **Being the son of a god, of** _ **the**_ **King of Gods, of Zeus?**

 **No.**

"Huh, he has some sense."

Zeus gave his wife a dirty look.

 **That was the last goddamn (gods be damned, if he really had to piss someone off) straw.**

 **Naruto was not going to hear it. If he was the son of Zeus, why didn't he know about this stuff until today? Why didn't he have to run away from his parents, or grow up looking over his shoulder for monsters? Or worry about taking cruise lines? Or worry about riding subways?**

Percy raised his hand. "I would very much like to know that too. Who dropped the ball?"

 **Why did Naruto have such vivid visions of lives that ended so quickly? His eyes squeezed shut as he thought over his constant dreams, things he considered coincidences.**

 **The Nameless Commander of the** _ **Maelstrom**_ **.**

 **A Roman Gladiator – that one he considered influenced by watching** _ **Gladiator**_ **one too many times.**

"Such a good movie." Dionysus held up his coke can to that.

 **Standing before an applauding crowd at the side of who appeared to be William Shakespeare.**

 **Fighting alongside George Washington during the French-Canadian War and taking a bullet for him.**

"So he was the first of the Secret Service?" Annabeth wondered.

"Pretty much." Her boyfriend guessed.

"That's, really amazing!"

 **Fighting with the British forces in the trenches against the Germans.**

 **The suddenly engaged Capt. Roger Stevenson, preparing to head over to the Beaches of Normandy, where he'd never return.**

"Such a shame." Aphrodite wept over the drama.

 **A 50's greaser punk that took one thrill ride too many.**

"No such thing." Ares grinned broadly.

 **The cross-country hippie that met his end trying to talk down a nut-bag named Manson.**

 **Then there was Nathanial Sparks. Was he even** _ **real**_ **? Did it matter that Nathanial Sparks had made it through the police academy after his upbringing in the streets of New York?**

"Identity crisis galore." Nico said. "Come one, come all."

 **Naruto – who'd decided that going by a fictional character's name was possibly the most astute part of his identity at the moment – didn't know if he was even a real person.**

 **How could he be a demigod on top of all that?**

"Pretty easily actually, you see-" Apollo began, only to have his Father silence him with a withering look.

 **"MINOTAUR!"**

 **The scream brought Naruto's attention back to the world around him. He peered through the windows of the hallway. A massive force, a mighty battalion of monsters and demigods, approached the frontlines. Naruto narrowed his eyes.**

 _ **Demigod or not.**_ **Naruto thought as he balled his hands into white-knuckled fists.** _ **I'm from New York City. I'm a police detective of the NYPD. This is**_ **my** _ **home, and I'll be damned before I let it fall to some bigoted old man.**_

"A revolutionary, like his father."

"Bias much?" Hades dryly asked the smirking Zeus.

"Never."

"Ha!" Poseidon laughed mockingly.

 **If there was one thing Sony got right with the first** _ **Spider-Man**_ **movie, it was one solitary line, forgettable to all, but integrated itself in Naruto's very soul. As he stormed out of the Empire State Building's front doors, that line repeated in his head and the feeling it brought bloomed like wildfire throughout his body.**

 **He gave a sharp whistle as he pushed his way to the front, drawing the attention of the lead monster, an ugly bastard with the head of a bull atop a Mr. Universe-worthy body.**

Aphrodite wrinkled her nose. "Not really."

 **It bellowed at the demigods, making them waver. The line from the movie was just as clear to him now as it was when he first heard it.**

 **Naruto looked over the opposing force. Outnumbered ten to one with many nasty beasts that were easily worth thrice that. Naruto grinned and looked at the kids, all in their teens or younger, that stood with him.**

 **"C'mon, kids…Let me hear you shout it loud n' proud!" He called to the rest of the defense line. "You're the sons and daughters of Olympus!"**

 **A roar of agreement met his cry.**

"See Percy? That is how you do it." Jason grinned at him.

"Yeah, yeah."

Reyna giggled into her hand at this.

 **"The Heroes who will defend Manhattan and its people from the Titans!"**

 **Another cheer came at him.**

 **"Then let's show these punks who they're messing with!" Naruto cried out. He faced the enemies once more, not in the slightest bothered with how easily he took command and rallied the troops. The blond detective held his arms out as he stood in front of the line. "Welcome to the Big Apple, boys and girls! Newsflash for you: If you mess with one of us, you mess with** _ **all**_ **of us!"**

"That is so true." Percy smiled in pride at the City he lived in for that.

Sure, people could be jerks, but when something big happened?

You'd be in for a BIG surprise.

 **"ATTACK!" A lone demigod on the opposing side of the street roared, and the enemy force charged forward.**

 **"AEGIS!" Naruto felt and heard his watch expand into the frightening replica of the famous shield of Zeus and Athena, the weight that came with it had vanished. He lifted his shield up and met the charge with his own, his eyes peered over the rim, locked with the snarling and snorting red-eyes of the Minotaur. The monster's horn gleamed and its head lowered.**

"And here I wanted the set." Percy pouted, that was his fight!

"It can't be all about you." Frank shrugged at him.

That made Percy pout further

Oh well, them the breaks…

 **Naruto kept his shield up and pulled himself in. He felt a pull in his chest, a tightening warmth that accompanied his rallying speech's pride. Naruto focused on it, unaware of his eyes gaining the slightest of sparks. He was going to protect his home. He was going to get his answers. He was** _ **not**_ **going to fail.**

 **The Minotaur pulled ahead of his attack brigade. It was more bull than man at the moment. It was going to skewer the blond fighter ahead of him with ease. It feared nothing, not even Medusa's image, and wanted only to slaughter the Gods' for the wrongs they did to his family. This fool wanted to be in his way, then so be it. He would fail, just as every other hero eventually had. And then he'd find that** _ **boy**_ **, the one that mocked him with his own horn!**

"Hi, I'm right here and _not_ fighting you. Sorry about that." Percy waved to the image.

Poseidon chuckled at his son's wit.

 **First things first, though.**

 **The two lead forces collided with a loud boom…**

… **And the Minotaur flew** _ **back**_ **.**

 **The massive monster bowled down a good dozen or so demigods, no less than** _ **three**_ **of the seven Cyclopes, and, for good measure, landed in a deep groove. The charging force stopped and stared at the opposing figure, this one man, who looked as though he'd been through the pits of Tartarus and back.**

"Not really, but hey, he's close." Percy shrugged, getting a playful swat from Annabeth.

"Be nice."

"I'm just saying, we actually did that. He didn't."

It was something Percy took some pride in, despite wanting to forget the whole experience all together.

 **The Minotaur got back to its feet and bellowed again. It charged once more, blinded with rage and hatred. Running on instincts. It would have its kill, even if its own side had to suffer some losses. And suffer losses they did, for those who did not get out of Pasiphae's Son's way, didn't live long enough to regret it.**

 **"Get** _ **out**_ **of** _ **my**_ **city!" Naruto snarled at the beast as he reared his shield-bearing arm back and then let it fly forward. The edge of his shield split the Minotaur's horn and skull, and the force of the strike, well…it wasn't every day that one saw a tornado rip something to shreds from the inside out.**

"He can do what now?" Jason blinked and quickly re-read the line to himself. "Seriously? How does that even-? No, no, don't think about it."

Piper nodded. "It's easier if you don't."

Stupid broken Big Three kids.

And yes, Jason knew he was being hypocritical.

 **The two colliding sides stopped and the attackers stared, as did their opponents, with mouths agape in awe. The shredded remains of the Minotaur slowly dissolved around the blond, who remained still with his arm outstretched. He stood upright and let his arm fall to his side. Crackling blue eyes turned to the nearest opposing demigod's, their gazes locked, and the young fighter began to tremble to the point that the armor strapped to their body rattled.**

 **"Run." Naruto advised softly, his voice carried over the dead silence that engulfed the battlefield.**

"No, slaughter, slaughter! Aw, screw you!" Ares frowned and waved his hand at the blond. To think he might have had a good brother. But no!

He never got what he wanted.

 **He wanted no more blood on his hands than he already had. Answers to the endless questions were kept from him all for this** _ **pointless**_ **battle. His own** _ **identity**_ **was lost, all but a name and emotions. He was a man without anything to lose and everything to gain. And gods help those who** _ **dared**_ **to stand in his way.**

 **The forces of Kronos** _ **listened**_ **to his plea, much to the surprise of the Olympians' forces.**

 **Impressively, so, they ran. No, they** _ **fled**_ **. The fear spread by this unknown, this** _ **man**_ **who'd suddenly appeared in Olympus' forces, was enough to turn even the most stubborn of the opposing Demigods around.**

"Which is very surprising." Annabeth confessed because the opposing force was really out to slaughter them all.

 **It was as if they knew what he would do to them. Or perhaps, it was** _ **because**_ **they** _ **didn't**_ **know what he would do that made the Demigods run.**

 **Naruto didn't care for their reasons, not really. He was in the thick of it now. He kept his gaze on the retreating forces' backs, the crackle in his eye slowly dimmed away to reveal the hard electric blues. His questions would wait, he was duty-bound, sworn as an officer of the New York Police Department, to uphold the peace and keep the law.**

 **That's exactly what he would do as he went to war.**

"That was fun and interest." Jason said as he closed the book.

Thalia snorted. "I don't like him."

"Go figure." Percy and Nico snorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"That we're all alike." Hermes snickered as he and Apollo bumped fists.

Thalia looked at them in confusion.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians. If I did, I might not be on this site.**

 **Reading: Born From Fire: A Minor's Problem**

"This is some good tea," Piper said as she sipped on the brew Hestia had made for them. They'd been reading for some time now, and the goddess of the hearth had taken it upon herself to give them a better refreshment than soda.

"Thank you, Piper McLean," Hestia said. She turned to Aphrodite. "What lovely manners your daughter has."

"But of course!" Aphrodite placed a hand on her chest. "We of love are very particular in that regard."

"That's a surprise," Artemis said. The Goddess of love turned to retaliate, when the _Olympian One Offs_ reappeared and landed in her daughter's lap.

"I guess I have to read this one," Piper said. She sat back while Jason put his arm over her shoulder. "Born From Fire: A Minor's Problem."

"Lil' Cuz Naruto is back! And with wordplay!" Apollo beamed.

"Shush, Apollo." Athena scolded her half-brother, though she would admit only to herself that she appreciated the wordplay as well.

 **Deep beneath the surface of the ocean, far under the sea, hidden from man's current submerging capabilities, was a marvelous palace. The construct that consisted of a beautiful mix of coral, sea stone and abalone shell was where the God of the Seas made his home. From his coral throne and with a subdued smile on his face, Poseidon watched the highest members of his court mingle.**

"It really is a lovely palace," Hera said to her brother. "Amphitrite does well to keep it so pleasant."

"I honestly can't tell if you were insulting me or complimenting me," Poseidon deadpanned.

"It was both, brother." The simple answer came from the King of Olympus.

"The construction is amazing. And you get to visit?" Annabeth asked her boyfriend.

"Yeah, it's not so bad. Amphitrite is okay, as long as I keep the guest room clean," Percy said.

"Or else she sicks the sharks on you?" Nico asked sarcastically.

"Yes." Percy shuddered. "Threshers. They don't listen to me."

 **It'd been six months since the Lightning Thief had been ousted and his half-blood had been cleared of all charges. Six months since the last Olympian Council meeting, and now they were coming up on the annual Winter Solstice meeting. The one meeting where Poseidon would have to suffer** _ **both**_ **his brother's annoying gripes and boasts, though the one saving grace was that they had to suffer his as well. None of them were ever** _ **thrilled**_ **around this time of the year, Hades especially, considering it interrupted his time with his wife.**

 _ **Then again, he did ask for it when he kidnapped and tricked her. At least that worked out in his favor after a century or so,**_ **Poseidon thought.**

"I thought you didn't take sides, Whaler?" Hades asked, a scowl on his face.

"I don't, brother. It was a harmless thought, one I'm sure you've had yourself whenever Demeter has gotten on your case one too many times," Poseidon refuted.

"Excuse you?" Demeter asked, affronted. "He abducted my daughter!"

The two brothers ignored her. Hades considered his younger brother's words and nodded.

"Fair enough."

 **The tensions between the Big Three were high, especially with the troubling warning Percy Jackson had given. Though Zeus chose to – begrudgingly understandably – ignore it and felt justified when Hermes brought word that Hades confirmed** _ **He**_ **remained in his hole, Poseidon didn't doubt his son's words.**

"That's going to be held over my head for the rest of my days, isn't it?" Zeus asked, a thunderous glower on his face.

"But of course," Hades said.

"You'd be a fool to think otherwise, but lucky for us, you're no fool. ...Most of the time, anyway," Poseidon added off-handedly.

"Most of the time?!"

"Zeus, quiet." Hera chided her husband.

 **A nagging worry poked at the proverbial back of the King of the Ocean's head, one that he could not ignore without distraction.**

 **That distraction came in the sudden arrival of a six-foot tall blond man clad in a Camp Half-Blood T-shirt that clung to his chest, and loose jeans that fell over waraji sandals. With a head of unkempt golden hair and a neatly trimmed beard that resembled his own, Poseidon deduced who it was almost instantly. That and the blazing fiery eyes were sort of a dead giveaway as to who it was.**

"Oh, my." Aphrodite began to fan her face as she looked over the image that appeared on the screen. "Hestia, dear, he's downright delectable."

"Aphrodite, I hardly think that's appropriate," Hestia said, frowning as the compliment's underlying meaning was clear to her as day. Her war-loving nephew was also able to read between the lines, if the scowl on his face was anything to go by.

"Non, it is entirely appropriate! He's so handsome! Isn't he, Piper?"

"Mom, please don't drag me into this," Piper pleaded, her cheeks red from the playful stare that Jason leveled on her. She elbowed him in the side. "You knock it off."

"You should answer the question, Piper," Thalia egged on, smirking as her brother rubbed his side.

"I agree." Reyna nodded.

"Hate you both," Piper mumbled.

 **"Wow, and I thought Olympus looked amazing in the right light. This is a pretty swanky set up, Uncle Side'n," Naruto said as he looked around his uncle's palace. Several bronze and golden weapons were pointed at the neck of the blond by the guards and he blinked. "Uhh...Is this a bad time?"**

 **A laugh threatened to escape the Sea God's mouth, one that twinkled in his eyes, as he held his hand up to call his guards from their stance.**

 **"Naruto, you really need to announce yourself before you arrive." Poseidon drawled. The young god reached up and scratched the back of his head while he laughed sheepishly.**

 **"I, uh, was in a bit of a hurry," The younger god admitted. "Sorry, Uncle."**

"Well, I can only imagine why he and Percy get along," Poseidon said with a chuckle.

"Percy Jackson has been compared to him before," Hestia said, smiling pleasantly at her brother.

The boy in question grumbled as he recalled which Naruto he was compared to specifically.

Stupid Apoluto.

 **"Uncle?!" The green skinned, two-tailed merman rushed over to tower over the blond. "You Olympians! Arrogant and disrespectful as always, you will refer to my father with his proper title."**

 **"...Which one?"**

"Ugh, I know, right? There's _so_ many titles to pick from!" Hermes groaned. "Makes his postage a nightmare!"

 **Naruto refuted before Poseidon could say anything to quell his heir's fury. The young god folded his arms over his chest and grinned. "There's Earthshaker, which, not gonna lie, is really, really nifty. Unless, that is, you're in California.**

Frank, Percy and Poseidon grumbled at that.

"You think you have it _so_ rough," Hades said, rolling his eyes.

 **The Stormbringer sounds like – And to be clear, I mean no offense here – a very stupid name for a fictional sword or one of Apollo's bad spy movies.**

"My spy movies are amazing!"

"You called one _Goldfinger_." Nico pointed out.

"That is a classic, Nico di Angelo!" Apollo argued.

"Still. _Goldfinger_."

 **There's the godly titles, but ...** _ **Damn**_ **that's a lot to recite every time I want to get his attention. And, while I'm immortal, I really don't want to waste that much time."**

 **"...Are you mocking me, Olympian?" Triton asked, with his upper lip curled back in a sneer.**

"Jerk." Percy frowned.

"Percy," Poseidon sighed.

"He's a jerk, Dad. He always talks down to me."

"Triton's been groomed for his station and saw you as a threat, Percy. That's all. Be grateful it isn't jealousy," the god of the seas said. The last demigod he had that Triton was jealous of, well, he didn't last long enough to gain a story.

 **Naruto held his hands up.**

 **"Wha-? No, Triton! I'm merely pointing out that I mean nothing but respect when I call the God of the Seas, Uncle Side'n."**

"Favorite." Poseidon bragged, buffing his nails on his shirt.

Zeus glowered at the thought of his brother being preferred company over himself by his nonexistent nephew.

"Keep your status, _Uncle Whaler_ ," Hades snarked. He smirked when his brother brooded.

 **"You will address him as Lord-!"**

 **"Triton, enough." Poseidon ordered as he rose from his throne and made his way over to the blond, taking on his more casual mortal appearance as he did. Poseidon held his arms out and clapped them onto Naruto's shoulders as he smiled at his nephew. "Welcome, Naruto! I do apologize for Triton's behavior and the actions of my guards, but they act as they will."**

 **"Bah, they're just doing their jobs, as protectors and as your son respectively." Naruto waved the apology off. He looked back at his cousin, who continued to tower over him, and grinned. "No hard feelings, Triton?"**

 **"...No. No hard feelings, Olympian."**

"I want this Naruto to be real," Percy said.

"So you can be trained as a ninja?" Annabeth asked, the other demigods muttering or frowning in jealousy.

"No. Well, maybe. Sort of. Whatever, he's cool and makes Triton seem less like a jerk," the Hero of Olympus explained.

 **The God of the Navy nodded curtly. He turned and left the two gods to rejoin the slowly resuming festivities. Naruto pouted at his cousin's retreating back.**

 **"I'd say you've got to do something about that stick stuck up his ass, but...it'd be hard to get to with the fish legs, you know?"**

 **Poseidon laughed at the backhanded insult and turned to lead Naruto from the party to the thrones.**

"I'm with Percy." Leo laughed. He pointed at the screen. "This guy is a riot!"

"I'm surprised he's so at ease being in the center of the party," Demeter said. "Hestia is usually quite the wallflower."

"Sister," Hestia said, frowning.

"It is true, Hestia," Zeus said, an amused gleam in his eye while his eldest/youngest sister pouted. "You do tend to keep to yourself."

"That's because you're all rambunctious enough to cover my quiet nature," Hestia harrumphed.

 **"He's dedicated to his duties, I will give him that, and he is fiercely loyal. A trait not often found in his generation. However, given the rift between my brothers and I, especially after last summer, I hope you can understand his distrust for Olympians," Poseidon said as he returned to his throne.**

 **"Like I said, no hard feelings." Naruto shrugged. He turned and smiled at the beautiful woman seated beside Poseidon. "Hi, Auntie Ampy!"**

"And it would seem that Amphitrite is his favorite aunt," Poseidon said, smirking at his brothers. Hades' eyes rolled while Zeus' hand balled into a fist.

The Big Three missed their sisters' frowns, as Demeter and Hera both felt slighted by the claim. They gave each other a sidelong glance and then narrowed their eyes.

The challenge was made.

 **"Nephew." Amphitrite greeted, a small gentle smile on her face. Like his two other aunts, Amphitrite adored Naruto and often showed it by spoiling him whenever Hestia would venture out to visit her sister-in-law. The Nereid had taken to Naruto well before they'd even met, considering his name related to her and her husband's domain. "And what brings you to our kingdom in such a hurry?"**

 **"Wearing the Camp's shirt, too." Poseidon hummed. He arched a brow. "Have you taken Dionysus' offer, then?"**

"He best not have," Zeus said, scowling.

"That would be cool, though," Percy said. "He could help Chiron train the kids like Terminus helps the Legion."

"With less barking and more kindness," Annabeth added.

"Well, yeah, that goes without saying."

 **"What offer?" Naruto asked with a small smile on his face as he willed a simple chair into existence while he sat to the side of the Oceans' King and Queen. "He just asked me to hang out with him some more. By proxy, I'm hanging out at camp."**

"...Apollo, Hermes, would either of you like to 'hang out' at Camp-?"

"They will be _occupied_ with their duties, Dionysus." Zeus scowled at his sons.

 **While he nodded, Poseidon silently praised his nephew's politically neutral answer. At a regular meeting, Dionysus** _ **had**_ **offered to give Naruto an active position amongst the demigods of Olympus, but Zeus quickly snuffed the offer out and reminded Dionysus that such duties were his to 'suffer' as punishment. Clearly, the forcibly sober God of Wine and the diplomatically gifted God of Peace found ways around that.**

"Lucky bastards." Dionysus scowled.

Hera smirked, finding the fact that one of Zeus' illegitimate offspring called himself a bastard very amusing.

 **"And how is the camp?" Amphitrite asked, neutral as the camp now hosted her husband's demigod. She was more forgiving than Hera and Persephone, but the betrayal still hurt.**

 **"The camp is in need of a serious upgrade."**

 **Poseidon was caught off guard by the comment and looked at his nephew's pensive face. Amphitrite merely raised a brow and one of her crab-claw horns clacked.**

 **"How so?" The King of Atlantis asked.**

 **"Hermes' cabin is overflowing with demigods, both his and not. The floors need replacing and the bunks themselves are half a decade from breaking." Naruto muttered. He rubbed his face. "Were it not for the education requirements that 'Ena's enforced in America, I'd think it's safe to say that the cabin would've been rebuilt at least** _ **twice**_ **by now."**

"Ena the Meana returns!" Ares cackled.

"I thought my other self told him to cease the use of that childish term?" Athena muttered.

"It's quite the adorable nickname, Athena." Hestia smiled.

"It's improper, and a butchery of my name."

"I would so call her that if I wasn't sure that she'd snuff me out faster than you could recite the height of the Hoover Dam," Percy whispered to his girlfriend.

"Yeah. Don't do that. I like you not being a smear on the ground," Annabeth said, deadly serious.

"Now that you tell me not to…"

"Perseus Jackson, don't make me judo flip you again."

"Alright, Wise Girl, I won't."

 **Poseidon quirked a small smirk at the childish nickname Naruto used to refer to his least favored niece. The nickname embarrassed her so much that the Boy of Fire was forbidden to use the term on Olympus and in front of most Olympians. Ares and Poseidon were the only two willing to risk Athena's wrath at allowing the "terribly inappropriate** _ **slaughter**_ **" of her name.**

 **"So Hermes' Cabin is all that ails the camp? That is rather mild than previous threats," Amphitrite said, snapping her husband from the thoughts of his rival's humiliation. She rolled her eyes when he visibly blinked and refocused. He was too easy to read sometimes.**

"Amphitrite…" Poseidon frowned when his brothers chuckled.

"Well, you can't say she doesn't know you, brother," Zeus said.

"Oh, go stick your head in the clouds."

 **"I wish that were it, but as a deity of the family and home, I'm aware of just how many demigods are out there right now," Naruto said tiredly. He rubbed his face with his hand. "And that's** _ **not**_ **counting the Minor Gods' young."**

 **"...Is this the proper place to be speaking of such worries?" Poseidon asked. He glanced around at the few minor gods that resided in his court. Naruto gave his uncle a weak smile.**

 **"Your company is the only place I can freely complain and know I'll be heard, Uncle Side'n," he said. The young god flopped back in his chair and let his head hang over the back as he groaned. "Lord Zeus and Aunt Hera can't be bothered with the woe and worries of a young Minor God like myself, even if it's one of my domains that I feel is threatened.**

"We would certainly make time," Hera said, frowning. Zeus hummed, as if unsure. It would depend on his mood at the time.

"You're not only his aunt and uncle, Hera, but his superiors, as well. And the woes of demigods have previously been decreed by both of you to not be a god's concern," Hestia said. She sighed. "It is why I choose to tend to the hearth for most days."

Hera and Zeus frowned at their sister's response.

 **Aunty Demeter's usually with Persephone or off preparing for the harvest, of either a mortal that took her fancy or of the grains in the coming spring. Uncle Hades...Yeah, no. That'd be stupid."**

 **Poseidon and Amphitrite nodded in understanding. Hades' duties, next to Hermes', were arguably the most time consuming of any Olympian's, and to bring something he could do** _ **nothing**_ **about to his attention would start him on a tirade that likely wouldn't end unless Persephone interrupted him, a calamity occurred, or you died of old age.**

"Which, for an eternal immortal, would be quite the achievement." Frank joked.

"Careful, Frank Zhang, before I _bless_ you with both and use you as a test subject," Hades said dryly. He hadn't really given the lad the third degree for being involved with his Roman daughter. Might as well start.

 **"My beloved cousins have their own egos or duties that keep them away, or I'd see to them. Aphrodite's begun to give me weird looks and giggle a lot, so, yeah, I'm keeping well away from** _ **that**_ **."**

"At least he has some common sense," Athena said.

"A miracle if there ever was one," Artemis said.

"Oh, the both of you are just jealous that I've taken notice of him as a male," Aphrodite said, tossing her hair and scoffing.

"Yeah, _jealous_. That's _exactly_ what we are," Artemis murmured while Athena rolled her eyes.

 **Naruto shifted in his chair while the King and Queen smiled at him. "And you know how Mom gets whenever we bring a problem to her."**

 **"All advice," Amphitrite said with a smile.**

 **"No action," Poseidon said with a small laugh.**

"Well, if that's how you feel." Hestia frowned.

"Sister…" Poseidon sighed.

 **"Blessed be her patience and lent ears, though, Nephew. It's a rarity from Gods today."**

 **"I know, I know...still, it's my problem so** _ **I**_ **have to solve it," Naruto said, sighing. He lifted his head back up and propped it up by his fist. "Only problem is, I can't solve it without bringing it to an Olympian, since the camp is technically yours."**

 **"Technically?" Poseidon asked, lifting a brow.**

 **"The camps are the demigods', first and foremost," Naruto said firmly with his arms crossed. "They're the ones who work their asses-ow!"**

 **"Language." Amphitrite scolded, her trident disappearing as fast as she willed it to her hands.**

 **"Oh, come on! Not you, too!" Naruto groaned. "Isn't there a saving grace for sailor mouths here?"**

 **"Yes, but you're not a sailor." Poseidon pointed out with a wry smile.**

"Such a dumb rule," Percy said, frowning. His mom did the same thing to him with her wooden spoon when he told Sam the 'dam' story.

"Learn to sail as a mortal would, Percy, and then it will not apply to you," Poseidon said.

"So not worth it." Percy crossed his arms, sank into his seat and pouted, making his girlfriend laugh at his antics.

 **"Not funny, Uncle." The younger god muttered. He crossed his arms and sat back. "But anyway,** _ **aside**_ **from the spacing issues at Camp...there's also..." Naruto shuddered. "** _ **Teenage girls**_ **."**

 **"And that's a problem?" Amphitrite asked, a brow arched. "Naruto, your preference will not cause us to change our view on you."**

 **"My wha-No! I'm totally straight, I mean, I have nothing against same-sex tastes or well, some of those interesting other types' fans we've got running around our pantheon. Let me clarify," Naruto said as he sat up and turned in his seat to face his aunt and uncle. "I've had to deal with Aphrodite** _ **and**_ **Apollo's teenage girls for the past month."**

 **"Yes, because those are oh so dangerous to the Boy of Fire." The Queen of the Oceans teased her pouting nephew.**

 **"Auntie Ampy, you're supposed to be on my side here!" he whined, causing the King and Queen of the Seas to laugh.** **He grabbed his head. "I've done everything I could to get them to stop following me around the camp! I've gone middle-aged, I shaved** _ **off**_ **my eyebrows, and then I grew** _ **out**_ **my eyebrows! I wore a freaking forest green unitard! I wore mismatching clothes! I added warts, buck teeth, gaping teeth, missing teeth, piercings – side note, I do not recommend facial piercings because magnets are a** _ **thing**_ **– and I've even gone** _ **Gabe**_ **on them!"**

"He didn't!" Percy grimaced. Poseidon, and Aphrodite, looked aghast.

"That was your first stepfather, right?" Annabeth asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, come on. He couldn't have been - WHAT IS THAT!?" Reyna pointed at the screen in horror.

"That is Gabe at his worst." Percy explained while the rest of the demigods looked green around the gills. He didn't blame them, it was hard to tell where the lounge chair ended and the scum of humanity began.

 **"...Oh, Naruto, you** _ **didn't**_ **." Poseidon grimaced. Taking on** _ **that**_ **abomination of a mortal's form was something the god didn't even wish on his** _ **Father**_ **.**

 **Though should something happen and they weren't able to kill the Bastard, then Poseidon now had a good idea of what he wanted to do.**

"...All in favor?" Zeus asked.

"Father, we've been over this. It is not possible for The Crooked One to reform," Athena said.

"All. In. Favor?" The King reiterated.

"Aye!" The Olympians voted unanimously.

"The ayes have it." Zeus nodded his head and the decree was made.

 **"Oh, I** _ **did**_ **! And they still kept sidling up to me and-and-and flirting with me!" Naruto groaned into his hands. "I appreciate the attention, but I have way too many mortal memories involving creepy ass** _ **pedophiles**_ **!"**

 **"Well, these** _ **are**_ **the children of Apollo and Aphrodite we're talking about," Amphitrite said. A small smile came to her lips. "Perhaps they just know when a good looking god is nearby and believe he is playing hard to get."**

"My kids know better than that," Apollo said, scoffing.

"Good job, babies!" Aphrodite cheered. She was so proud of her girls.

 **"Auntie Ampy!" Naruto complained. "I'm older than their grandfather's** _ **grandfather's**_ **grandfather! Do you** _ **not**_ **see a problem with that? Or at least why I, as a former mortal, would** _ **have**_ **a problem with that?"**

 **"Naruto, you're the only god I know of that hasn't gone looking for someone to spend time with outside of another immortal. Not a demigod, a mortal or even a nymph! At this rate you'll have to either take an oath like your mother has or a wife will be picked for you." Amphitrite informed her now groaning nephew. She gained a smile. "However, if you wish to do the latter, I'm sure some of my sisters will be willing."**

 **"With that option on the table, if you manage to choose the former, I will question the legitimacy of your claim to heterosexuality," Poseidon said in jest.**

 **Naruto pouted at them. "Glad to see you find my problems so amusing, Uncle."**

 **"There is a third option," Poseidon said. He smiled slightly when his nephew's attention turned fully towards him. "You could tell Eros or Aphrodite about your troubled love life. Better yet, you could ask your mother for advice on what you should do."**

 **"Yeah, no." Naruto deadpanned. "I like being able to leave my bedroom, let alone Olympus, whenever I want, thanks."**

 **The God of the Seas' laughter shook the room.**

The gods and demigods fell in the same boat, save for Hestia.

"I would not restrict him," Hestia said, frowning.

"Sister, you have a tendency to say one thing, but mean another thing entirely," Hera said around a smile.

 **Naruto recounted his discussion with his aunt and uncle to Dionysus and Chiron the next day during the mid-morning card game.**

 **"Well, I can't say I don't see where Poseidon and Amphitrite are coming from," Dionysus said as he drew a card from the deck. "While I understand your unease with fathoming a coupling with any of these mongrels running around, I daresay, Cousin, that you are the epitome of a Black Sheep. You've not many claims to fame, and the few who you did teach are so famous that even we Olympians forget the part you played in their lives. At this rate, you're likely to end up in the same boat as Helios and Selene if you're not careful."**

"No, he's too awesome for that!" Apollo cried out.

"And Helios wasn't?" Hermes quirked his lip.

"I-Low blow, Herm. Low. Blow."

 **"Mr. D!" Chiron sent a look of grave disapproval to the heavyset god. Dionysus discarded and gave the centaur a disinterested stare.**

 **"I'm merely warning him, Chiron, there's no need to shout."**

 **Naruto shook his head at his cousin's backhanded warning and gave the trainer of heroes a grateful smile. He understood Dionysus' attitude and demeanor, had suffered alongside Olympus whenever Dionysus had gone sober for too long and lacked the company of his wife, Ariadne.**

 _ **Hm, surprised he hasn't invoked a visitor's day to bring her here and introduce her to the twins,**_ **Naruto thought as he took his card. Ariadne was like Amphitrite when it came to their husbands' half-bloods, treating them with indifference and/or pleasant politeness. It was why Ariadne was one of his favorite cousins.**

 **That, and she made the greatest hangover cure that she refused to share with the rest of the Gods.**

"Haha! Suck it!" Dionysus jeered at the other gods, all the while grinning at the thought of his amazing wife.

 **"If I may, Lord Naruto?" Chiron interjected with a questioning glance.**

 **"Chiron, c'mon, just Naruto." Naruto grinned at the centaur. "You more than anyone has more right to refer to us without titles."**

 **"Don't give him any ideas," Dionysus said dryly before he took a sip of his diet coke.**

"Yes, the last thing we need is for Chiron to be even more chill." Leo rolled his eyes.

"Exactly my point, Lionel!" Dionysus nodded.

 **"While I thank you for the offer, Lord Naruto, I think I shall continue to play it safe as it were," Chiron said, a wry smile on his face that made the Boy of Fire laugh. He waited until Naruto discarded and then spoke as he took his turn. "I do believe your past life has a large influence on this decision, so why not seek out others who've also been mortal turned gods for advice?"**

 **"I considered that, but then I remembered that most of these mortals were men from Ancient Greece or Ancient Rome, depending on what they're doing at the time," Naruto said.**

 **"Does that matter?" Dionysus asked.**

 **"You'll be shocked to learn this, Dionysus, but mortal women are just as keen as being cheated on as Goddesses are," Naruto deadpanned.**

"That is very true." Hera said dryly, glaring at her husband.

Zeus cleared his throat and tried to focus on the story.

 **"No, really?" Dionysus drawled as he leaned forward on his arm to give his younger cousin a leveled glare. "I must've missed that while I was drunk off my gourd."**

 **"I didn't mean any offense, Dionysus. You know that." Naruto frowned at his temperamental cousin. "The men of Ancient Greece and of Ancient Rome were not the most faithful in body, to say the least. In** _ **my**_ **first go, my home had made heavy laws against such acts, so you could say I'm culturally programmed to stay monogamous."**

 **"...I give you three years before you start to Fade. Four tops."**

"Dionysus!" Hera and Hestia frowned. Speaking of another god's potential fading was like wishing death upon a family member at dinner.

"What? I'm being supportive in my own special way." Dionysus huffed.

 **"Mr. D!" Chiron slammed his cards down and glared at the god while Naruto let out a small laugh.**

 **"Oh come now, I was** _ **joking**_ **!" Dionysus tossed his cards down and snapped his fingers. The cards became enchanted and began to shuffle, allowing the god to give his full attention to Naruto. "Cousin, you know I jest crudely."**

 **"I know," Naruto said with a nod and a small smile. He looked at Chiron. "Really, Chiron, thank you for your defense, but Dionysus and I bare no ill will toward each other. Save for his marriage to Ariadne."**

 **"Interested in another's wife! There's hope for you yet, Naruto," Dionysus said with a small smirk. His eyes flashed dangerously. "Be warned, I've been called protective of her."**

"I would love to see him try anything." Dionysus' smile didn't reach his eyes.

 **"Alas, even if that weren't true, I know her heart belongs only to you. The poor thing," Naruto said with a hand draped across his head. Dionysus groaned in annoyance as the cards began to deal out.**

 **"You've been spending time with Apollo again, haven't you? How can you tolerate it?" The god of wine asked. Naruto shrugged and smiled.**

 **"We click."**

 **"Really, then perhaps you and he-?" Chiron began.**

 **"I am not interested in Apollo or any other male in that way. ...Although admittedly, Apollo does make for a** _ **very**_ **hot chick when he decides to play that role," Naruto said with a tilted head.**

"Hardlight disguise for the win." Apollo said smugly.

"If only your personality would shift along with your appearance," Artemis said dryly.

"...Is he still-?" Thalia began, only for her matron to cut her off.

"If anything, he's _worse_."

 **He then shook those thoughts away. "However, I know** _ **his**_ **true form and that is something I will never be able to open myself to. Blame childhood scars."**

 **"I don't recall anything occurring between you and Apollo," Dionysus said thoughtfully.**

 **"Wrong childhood." Naruto deadpanned. Dionysus' eyebrow arched up and Chiron leaned forward. Naruto looked between the two with a stony face. "...You guys are starved for gossip, I swear."**

Dionysus slouched in his seat, "It's so _boring_. I need something to mock!"

"There, there, I'll drop by if I ever can." Hermes shrugged. "Maybe if my schedule clears up."

"I'll be back on Olympus before that happens!" the god of parties groaned.

"Maybe not if you continue to complain." Zeus huffed.

 **"With so little time able to be spent on Olympus, I've not much I can do but listen to these brats' complaints or honor another annual death with a small feast of mourning." Dionysus pointed out.**

 **"If you tried** _ **really**_ **hard, I'm sure one of these 'brats', aside from your own, will grow on you," Naruto said pointedly. Dionysus scoffed and drew a card before he sipped from his can. Naruto shook his head and laid his hand onto the table, faces up. "A fun game, but I win again, Dionysus."**

 **"What?" Dionysus looked at the cards and then scowled. He turned to Chiron with annoyance written on his face. "You were supposed to beat** _ **him**_ **this time."**

"You had one job, Chiron. One job!" Dionysus threw his arms in the air. "Why do we bother to keep him around?"

"Because he trains us?" Nico said.

"Because he's awesome?" Percy said.

"Because he's family?" Thalia said.

"Bah, those aren't _good_ reasons!"

 **"I believe that Eirene is not the only one who blesses Lord Naruto behind his back," Chiron said with a sly smile to the blond immortal, who groaned at the implications.**

 **"Chiron, you're as bad as Horkos," Naruto sighed. "He's suggested something similar more than once whenever we hang out. Though that's been rare, I think he's having difficulties at New Ro-"**

"God of secrets he is _not_." Percy whistled.

"Please, like I would've let that go without issue," Dionysus said with a scoff. He would get the flak for it, considering Hestia was of like minds with her fictional son.

 **"Lord Naruto, please!" Chiron interjected.**

 **"Ah, right. I forgot about that." Naruto grimaced. The decree to separate the camps and keep them ignorant of each other was not one he agreed with, but it hadn't turned into a problem. Yet. The thought of ignorance between the camps made a great unease fill in the young god's stomach. To forgo musing his distaste for the decision, the blond stood up and stretched, his arms rising above his head. "This has been fun, Dionysus, but I think it's time I went over to the Forges to keep Hephaestus' kids to their schedule."**

"I'm sure they have a whistle that goes off for lunch," Piper said, getting a few laughs.

"What is this 'lunch' you speak of?" Leo asked, squinting at the girl.

Hephaestus chuckled, his boy was not off the mark with that.

 **"Oh, very well. It's time for my nap anyway," Dionysus said with a sigh. He sent a smirk to his cousin's back as he departed from the Big House. "Oh, and Naruto, do try to keep from breaking any more hearts! Aphrodite might try to claim you for herself if you keep it up!"**

 **The God of Wine laughed when his cousin tripped mid-step and fell to the floor.**

"At this rate? I just might." Aphrodite cooed.

"Wait, could two gods claim another as their child?" Hazel asked.

"Not that kind of claim, Hazel Levesque," the lady of doves said, a coy smile on her face.

 **"Ghandi turned to me, annoyance written on his face, and asked, 'Well, oh wise one, I got her to say yes. Now what do I do?' So I looked him dead in the eye, put a hand on his shoulder and said, 'That, my friend, is something that you'll have to figure out on your own.' He punched me in the face and stormed off grumbling!" Naruto said to the satyrs that gathered where he sat in the pavilion. He was in the midst of telling them about the time that his student asked the woman who'd one day be his wife for a night out. The nature spirits let out bleats of laughter while Naruto chuckled and took another sip of the soda he'd been offered. "Ah, may he be peaceful forever more in his death."**

"He can spin a tale." Artemis glanced slyly at her twin, "Perhaps he actually picked up something productive from you."

"Please. I taught him how to embody the meaning of the word 'awesome'," Apollo said, scoffing.

"Sure you did."

 **"E-Excuse me, Lord Naruto?" A gentle, withdrawn voice drew Naruto's attention from his gathered companions. Naruto gave a small smile to the young demigoddess that approached him. The recently claimed Miranda Gardiner stared up at him with dark forest colored eyes. "Can I ask you something?"**

 **"Miranda, I was here to witness Aunt Demeter claim you. We're family. You don't have to call me 'Lord', little cousin." Naruto chuckled as he gently ruffled the ten-year-old's hair. The displeased pout on her face reflected the one his aunt often gave him whenever she suggested he stop eating so much ramen and he refused.**

"He could do to eat healthier meals," Demeter said, frowning.

"It isn't like he'll get fat from it," Leo pointed out.

"You say that, Lionel, but then how would you explain this?" Dionysus asked, pointing at his gut.

"Beer belly? Wine weight?"

"...Touché."

 **Naruto dismissed the satyrs and turned to give the girl his full attention...well as much to appear that he gave his full attention. No mortal could handle the intensity of a god's** _ **full**_ **attention; it put too much strain on their minds. Even Aeolus had difficulties with it sometimes.**

 **"Now what did you need?" He asked with a small smile.**

 **Miranda looked up at him and then shyly looked away. She fiddled with her hands and asked under her breath five words that a lesser god would've smote her for. However, though Naruto wasn't a lesser god, he was still taken off guard by the question.**

 **"Do you have a girlfriend?"**

"Wow. That's one hell of a landmine he just stepped on," Ares said with a snicker.

"Shh-shh-shh! I want to know the answer!" Aphrodite waved at him.

 **Had he been mortal, Naruto would've choked on his tongue right there. So taken aback by the inquiry to his love life – he, a** _ **god**_ **, asked by a ten-year-old** _ **mortal**_ **girl if he was dating! Apollo was going to have a field day with this for sure if he ever found out about it.**

"Oh, I totally would." Apollo snickered.

 **Flustered and faltering with his words, Naruto's silver tongue – honed and trained by the master that was Hermes –**

"You're welcome, Cousin!" Hermes grinned.

 **promptly turned to lead as two wide green eyes stared up into his (chosen) ocean blues.**

 **"I...uh...Miranda, w-why would you ask me that?" Here Naruto was almost** _ **afraid**_ **of the answer. If she was asking out of curiosity alone, then he would've looked even more foolish than he already did. He could live with that, if only suffering at the jabs from his cousins from then on about his single status. If she was asking for herself, then he'd be in that awkward predicament of turning the young girl down, and it was an unwritten rule that you did not upset a daughter of Demeter.**

 **Grain-Zilla was** _ **very**_ **protective of her babies.**

"Damn straight." Demeter said in earnest while Hades said it in deadpan.

 **"Because everyone keeps saying you're in love with someone!" The exasperation in the demigoddess' tone threw Naruto for another loop. "Gertrude thinks you're 'woefully heartbroken' over** _ **Athena's**_ **oath, Danielle thinks you're hung up on** _ **Aphrodite**_ **like everyone else, Bridgette says that she's wrong and you're longing for** _ **Artemis**_ **, but Janie thinks that you're waiting for the right demigod to come along because you're soul-crossed lover hasn't been born yet since you're the youngest god in existence!**

"I like how Janie thinks." Aphrodite stroked her chin. "Although Bridgette's would be _very_ juicy!"

"Oh gods, Mom." Piper whined.

"Shush, sweetie. Mommy's plotting."

"Aphrodite, please refrain from pairing my otherworldly son with another soul," Hestia said.

"I promise nothing!"

 **Ronnie said it was something 'gross' and told me to ask you if you like my mom? Are you going to date my mom? Does that mean I'll be your daughter** _ **and**_ **your cousin? Is that even legal?!"**

"That _is_ a good question. Well, sister?" Hades said with mirth in his tone.

"I'm quite good at the moment." Demeter said in a tight voice while avoiding Hestia's pointed glance. She fidgeted in her seat when Hestia continued to stare at her. "Sister, please! I wouldn't-!"

"Zeus _and_ Poseidon." Hestia ticked off her fingers. The brothers in question squirmed uneasily while Demeter's cheeks burned. As did the cheeks of the children of her two brothers. And the other demigods' cheeks.

"T-That is entirely different!"

"Is that what it is now?" Hades asked, grinning.

"Quiet you-you-you _pedophile_!"

"Sticks and stones, Demeter."

 _ **...Nope.**_ **Naruto stood up and walked away. Well, walked was being generous. He may have appeared to have walked, but he was gone long before the young mortal's mind could process his absence.** _ **Nope. Whole lotto nope. So much nope, they can't even fathom how much nope will be there for the next generation's nope. That's just nope. Nope. Nope, nope-ity, nope.**_

"Good." Hestia nodded. Her son didn't need to be involved with that sort of drama.

"Oh, man. That's hilarious!" Leo snickered along with the other demigods. "They can't even fathom, I gotta write that one down. That's gold."

 **The demigods, and Dionysus, would be sad to hear the next day that Naruto would be departing from Camp until summer came so that he could properly train his apprentice.**

 **Though,** _ **that**_ **declaration started a whole new mess of rumors.**

"Wait, what kind of-" Color drained from Percy's face as grins spread across the faces of his friends. "No. That can't - I mean, that's - No! No, are you-? No, no, no, a thousand times, no!"

The rest of his friends laughed while Annabeth could only turn a pretty shade of red at the very notion. The images she thought up...then she added herself into the mix and- _No, quick! Must distract myself! The Hoover Dam was built in 1933, originally called the Boulder Dam..._

 **"Stop laughing, it isn't funny!" His hair ablaze and his cheeks filled with ichor, Naruto glared daggers at his so-called 'best friend'. Despite his order, Horkos continued to laugh, doubled over at the gut with his arms around his sides. The only saving grace for Naruto was that the zoo they decided to meet at was filled to the brim with mortals who could care less about one immortal's problems.**

 **Initially, Naruto approached his friend in his Roman guise. Orcus was a stern, rule-abiding bastard, and had not liked to interact with Naruto initially because he was fully Greek and lacked a Roman persona as of yet. To Naruto, it would be like talking to Sasuke again. In his experience, a cold, mostly-detached man that cared little about his personal problems made for an excellent ear to talk off.**

"...He makes an excellent point," Demeter said.

"Of course you would say that," Hades said dryly.

"Why else would Persephone still be with you?"

"Love? Devotion? Hera? Take your pick."

 **Too bad for him that the Minor Gods' personalities were only so much different that it was easy for them to switch back to a Greek form. Something that Orcus did as soon as Naruto finished his tale.**

 **"She–She actually asked you–Wow!" Horkos, in the guise of a handsome dark-skinned man that could've been mistaken for an attorney based on the suit he wore, righted himself and wiped a tear from his eye. "That-That is honestly the greatest thing I've ever heard in the last** _ **thousand**_ **years!"**

"Huh, and that's including the introduction of the lottery business," Hermes said with a blink of his eyes.

"And _Baywatch_ and _The Dukes of Hazzard_!" Apollo gasped.

"Ugh." Artemis scrunched her nose up in disgust.

 **"Argh!** _ **Why**_ **are we friends?!" Naruto groaned. The member of the House of Hades let out another chuckle and the Minor Olympian God glowered at him. "You done?"**

 **"Yeah," Horkos said, a smile on his face as he straightened his tie. "Yeah, I'm done."**

 **"Good."**

 **"...She really asked-?"**

 **"And I thought that you would be able to help me? What the hell is wrong with me?" Naruto began to walk away, nearly at his breaking point. He ran his hands through his hair to snuff out the flames that threatened to spread, and then stuffed his hands into his black windbreaker's pockets.**

 **"Naruto, wait! I'm sorry. You have to understand, though," Horkos said as he caught up to the blond. He put a hand on the younger god's shoulder. "You're a black sheep-"**

"And that's a bad thing in our family?" Hermes chuckled.

"For that one?" Leo snorted, "Probably."

 **"Yeah, yeah, Dionysus said the same thing." Naruto grumbled. His grumpy demeanor dropped as he walked by the lion exhibit. The sight of children and parents gathered around Rhea's symbolic animal always brought a smile to the God of the Hearth's face. He thought they were cool, too.**

 **"You have to** _ **do**_ **something," Horkos continued. He let his hand drop and smiled at the awed whispers of children while watching the small pride laze about. "Look at those creatures, each of them knows they have to procreate. And I'm not talking about the lions."**

 **"Dude." Naruto deadpanned.**

"TMI." Nico nodded.

 **"They do, Naruto. All of life,** _ **all**_ **, immortal or not, has a need to procreate, to ensure they are remembered, by genetics, essence or legend. You are not exempt from this, especially given your...** _ **unique**_ **history."**

 **Naruto shifted where he stood. His first life was a touchy subject, something the Olympians felt uncomfortable addressing – even Ares, who took whatever potshots he could whenever he could just to start a fight, didn't go near the topic like there was a nuclear minefield around it! They were curious, of that there was no doubt, but since his time existed before their rise, they were** _ **not**_ **the gods of his era. It was a heavy blow to their egos, not one they'd accepted as of yet.**

 **"Then what do you suggest?" Naruto's query had more bite to it than he would want to admit.**

 **"Go get laid."**

"What typical advice from a god." Athena scoffed.

"Hey!" A few offended gods frowned at her.

"Am I wrong?" she asked, a brow raised in challenge. She smirked when they failed to come up with a rebuttal.

 **"Oh, how very** _ **Greek**_ **!"**

The wisdom goddess nodded. "That is also true."

 **"I'm not saying you need to have a child-!"**

 **"A God has sex – boom, child! Without fail! There are no miscarriages! If I'm going to have a kid, I'm going to** _ **raise**_ **that kid!"**

"Good on him. And good luck trying to find a nymph or goddess that'll stick around long enough," Apollo said, snorting.

"Didn't you get married in one?" Nico asked.

"Note how I said 'nymph or Goddess', Nico," Apollo said.

"His marriage there doesn't count. I want to see it in full swing before we jump to any conclusions," Artemis said. "If this woman _can_ keep you in line, then I will consider there to be hope for the male species."

"...Where is that book!?"

 **"Noble, but-"**

 **"There is no but! There is no excuse! I will** _ **not**_ **do to a child what was done to me!" Naruto snapped. The zoo quieted and people stopped moving, frozen in time. Horkos stared, wide eyed and gob smacked, at the fire that was his friend's body.**

 **"So you're just going to defy Ancient Law? Go against everything-?" The fiery being stepped towards Horkos and a burning finger pressed into his suit, eradicating the fabric at a touch.**

 **"The Ancient Laws exist as an** _ **excuse**_ **! The ways of Ancient Greece are** _ **gone**_ **! Children are the future, Horkos,** _ **not**_ _ **us**_ **! We are** _ **archaic**_ **! You are** _ **examples**_ **! You are** _ **stories**_ **and** _ **legends**_ **!"**

"Humph, he runs his mouth like most young gods." Zeus rumbled.

"He's not wrong though," Percy muttered. He thought the same thing before he went to that museum.

 **"Stop speaking so highly, Naruto! The Fates made you one of us-!"**

 **"** _ **Maybe they shouldn't have!**_ **"**

"I think he deserves to be here." Hestia murmured lowly, slightly upset that he felt that way.

"Hestia, as one who was a mortal turned god, I believe I can glean a bit of understanding," Dionysus said. "His world was vastly different from the one we live in now. Laws he no longer had to consider are now shackling him. It is not a slight to you, but to the Fates' rash decision to bestow upon this man a new life."

"Dionysus, that...was very kind of you," Zeus said, awed by his son's words.

"Thank you father. ...So?"

"I'm not reducing your sentence every time you're kind, Dionysus."

"Well, can't blame me for trying," Dionysus sighed and sat back in his throne.

 **The Upper Air went still as the words echoed through the cosmos. Horkos' mouth moved, but no sound came. Naruto continued to burn, his fire turning brighter, the light going whiter.**

 **"My people believed in Fate, some that it bound us to duty, and others that it was our duty to be bound to it. I didn't. If I was destined to suffer, to go through the childhood I had – hated, feared, and ignored – then my work after was for** _ **nothing**_ **! I am** _ **not**_ **a tool of the Three Sisters, Horkos! I am not** _ **their**_ **child!"**

 **"Your mother-!"**

 **"This is not about** _ **her**_ **!" Naruto roared, the ground melting beneath his feet.**

"See, at least I was correct there," Dionysus said.

"Yes, thank you Dionysus." Hestia smiled.

"You're still not going to receive any more reductions," Zeus added.

"Drat."

 **"Hestia** _ **chose**_ **to be barren! She** _ **chose**_ **a life without children! Yet, she raised you all the same! A babe that came to her from her fire!" Horkos shouted back. "One who came from a time before civil-!"**

 **"Say it!" Naruto cut in. His eyes burned. "Say it, Horkos! Say what I am! A** _ **beast**_ **! A barbarian! A foreigner! Those words are** _ **compliments**_ **to the things I heard growing up!"**

 **"You are no longer that mortal, Naruto-!" Horkos' head snapped to the side and he fell to a knee. His eyes were wide as his cheek stung and ichor spat out of his mouth.**

"Boom! Surprise right!" Ares cackled, while his aunt gasped.

"He did not just-!" Hestia cut herself off and took a deep breath. A disappointed frown spread across her face. "If he were my son, I would give him a piece of my mind."

 **"I will** _ **always**_ **be that mortal," Naruto said, his knuckles white and sore. He let his hand fall to his side and his head dipped down. "You won't understand. None of you will** _ **ever**_ **understand."**

 **"You..." Horkos gasped at a flare of pain and his hand went to his face. "You struck me..."**

 **"I did." Naruto turned and began to walk away. "Let them know, Horkos, let them know that The God of Peace threw the first punch, but the line was crossed a** _ **long**_ **time ago."**

"...This is the best day of my life." Ares roared with laughter, holding his sides. "Put that on a shirt!"

 **Horkos decided that maybe his friend's problem was a bit more than having a repressed sexual appetite. He would let this altercation slide, just** _ **once**_ **, and wait for Naruto's apology before he sought his friend out again.**

 **First, though, a trip to Asclepius' office for some help...and some advice.**

"He's good like that," Jason said with a nod.

 **"You** _ **punched**_ **Horkos?"**

 **The question was asked with a blatant incredulous tone. The query came from a scarred, yet handsome biker, who sat at a small table within a Starbucks with three other men. Two blazing eyes stared from behind black wraparound sunglasses at the youngest that accompanied him.**

 **"Order and Chaos, yes! How many times do I have to repeat myself?" Naruto asked, scowling at his older cousin.**

 **"** _ **You**_ **punched** _ **Horkos**_ **?"**

"Me, stop doubting him and celebrate!" Ares ordered his other on the screen.

"He is the God of Peace, Ares," Athena said to him.

"Right, but still! I know anyone and everyone can be violent. Cept. Eirene. Fuckin' bitch."

"Ares!" Hera warned.

"She is!"

 **"Believe it or not, Ares, I** _ **can**_ **punch people. Hell, I can kill people. I just don't like to," Naruto said, scowling. The God of War continued to stare at him, dumbstruck, and the silence – save for the surrounding conversations and music playing in the background – was starting to grate on the younger god's nerves.**

 **"Wow," was all Ares said as he sat back in his seat, deep in thought.**

"That's the best you got? Embarrassment." Ares slapped a palm over his eyes.

 **"'Wow'? Our little cousin might have just kicked off World War Three and all you can say is 'wow'?" Hermes asked incredulously from his seat. He shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. "I'd have expected more from you."**

"I agree with other Hermes. We have lines written for this!" The god of war complained.

"Written is being generous. You scribbled them on a parchment. In crayon!" Apollo deadpanned.

"My red pen ran out!"

"More like it ran off."

"Hey! I only stole it one time!" Hermes cut in with a frown.

"Boys, please." Hestia smiled at them. They quieted down, but sent glowers at each other.

 **"I'm admittedly a little disappointed, myself," Apollo said. He glanced at the other blond god. "Why did you punch him?"**

 **"I had to kill a fly that landed on him – why do you** _ **think**_ **, Apollo?" Naruto asked. He crossed his arms and glared at the table. "He was pissing me off."**

 **"You get** _ **mad**_ **, too?!"**

 **"Ares, seriously, I'm starting to worry now," Hermes said, frowning. He turned his attention to his younger cousin. "Was he really pissing you off, or was it the situation?"**

 **"Wait, there was a situation? What situation?" Apollo asked.**

"The Situation?" Apollo asked, taking on the likeness of the reality TV star.

"Dude. That joke is so old, even the Titans thought it was in bad taste," Hermes said with a snort.

 **"Oh, right, you were flirting up the cashier during the story. Wait, how do** _ **you**_ **not know what's going on?" Hermes asked. He looked outside and frowned. "Nope, no flying pigs. At least not yet, so that can't be why you missed it."**

 **"Smartass. Ares?" Apollo asked, hoping for a clear answer.**

 **"The spitfire here has been getting hit on by mortals and doesn't know how to fuck 'em, went to ask his jerkoff buddy for advice, got reminded of the 'no kids' law, and punched the jerkoff's lights out," Ares said. The other three stared at him and he shrugged. "What? Those were spitfire's words exactly."**

 **"I'm sure they are. And without the Ares filter?" Apollo asked, looking at Naruto.**

"My filter is very straightforward." Ares huffed and crossed his arms.

"And vulgar," Artemis said.

"Duh."

 **The whiskered blond began to re-explain his problems with the demigoddesses and issues with having a demigod yet not being able to raise them, only getting halfway through before the God of the Sun interrupted again, this time more alarmed. "Wait, you still haven't gotten laid yet?! Dude! I only have a little over two years before that time is up! We have got to get you laid, now!"**

"Apollo, you cannot just rush someone into such a thing." Hestia scolded.

"I'm only looking out for him since he'll be made fun of."

"What are you saying?" Athena asked him in a dangerous tone, Artemis joined her in glaring at their brother.

"I just don't want him to end up like you two. We make fun of you two behind your backs all the time."

"Dude!" Hermes hissed.

"Truth god. I can't help it!"

 **"Time?" Hermes asked, but Apollo hopped out of the booth and began to get his flirt on with the nearest group of girls. Naruto let his head drop to the table with a thunk, groaning while his two other cousins eyed him.**

 **"The Twins made a bet last year. After you got off without so much as a slap on the wrist for the Master Bolt theft," Naruto said to the smirking God of War.**

 **"I dunno, losing to Percy Jackson, a demigod with only a week's worth of training, seems like a pretty good punishment," Hermes said. He smirked. "Especially after he used** _ **that**_ **attack."**

"I did what now?" Percy asked curiously and Ares felt a sense of foreboding.

 **"You all swore on the Styx not to mention that bullshit attack!" Ares snarled, the cup of coffee in his hand crushed into oblivion.**

 **"I didn't," Naruto said, grinning. "You forgot to** _ **order**_ **my compliance."**

 **"That's because he's afraid what the 'Seaspawn's master's Thousand Years of Death is like," Hermes said.**

"...No. No! Are you fuckin-NO!" Ares slammed his fists on his throne while the gods laughed.

"Percy used the Thousand Years of Death?" Leo gaped. He crossed his arms and pouted. "Not fair."

 **He snapped his fingers. "Oh, that's right! He already knows!"**

 **"Stupid fucking misnamed attack – How was I supposed to know the punk would stick his sword in my ass?! Who even does that?!" Ares demanded, brooding over his humiliating defeat. Getting a small nick in his skin would be more bearable!**

"...Yeah, I got off lucky," Ares muttered to himself once he considered it.

"Poor Riptide," Percy said, wincing.

 **"If it makes you feel any better, Percy still scrubs Riptide every day," Naruto said. He smiled. "He's afraid you left a stain."**

"Damn right I would!"

 **"Oh, I'll leave more than a stain on that little shit," Ares grumbled. He would throttle that brat's neck when he least expected it.**

 **"Ares' embarrassment aside, what did our beloved Twins bet consist of exactly?" Hermes asked. He wanted to know if he could get in on the action. He was the God of Tricksters and Thieves, and gambling fell under those domains.**

 **"For some reason, they were betting on my night life." Naruto admitted.**

Apollo looked at his sister in boredom, "Really, Arte? That's all you got to bet on. At least make it interesting."

"You did as well!"

"Yeah, but, that's _me_. Apollo. That's old news for me _and_ you by extension."

 **Ares looked up from his brooding and Hermes blinked owlishly. The God of the Hearth nodded. "I know, right? From what I remember, Artemis was using me to insult Apollo, he didn't take it too well, and shockingly they argued over what was better: Being a 'prude' or a 'man-whore', I'll let you guess who got what role."**

"Wow, Artemis, I had a hunch, but seriously? When did you become such a man-?"

"Finish that sentence, Hermes, and you will find it very difficult to deliver your mail when your head is mounted on my temple's wall."

"Jeez, take a joke."

 **"So the Hunt-Cunt and the Sunspot bet on your sex life?"**

"Lady Artemis, I would like to apologize for what I just said," Piper said, suddenly nervous.

"Worry not, Piper McLean, I know it is just the words you read." Artemis discreetly waved at her lieutenant.

Thalia slowly slid her concealed silver blade back into its sheath, the scowl on her face almost as frightening as her father's.

Jason scooted closer to his girlfriend, acting as a shield, while Aphrodite glared around the room, daring anyone to take action against her daughter.

Ares lay on the ground, choking on his laughter.

 **Ares asked. Naruto scowled at the god on Apollo's behalf. He actually thought Artemis' role was a necessary one and appreciated what she did for Nature. Could do without her Hunters' poor manners, though.**

 **"Artemis bet that I would still be a Virgin God by the end of my first millennium, and Apollo bet I would not. If Artemis won, Apollo had to back off of his womanizing," Naruto said.**

"Of course…" Apollo glowered at his sister, who was smirking at what she presumed to be an easy victory. "You are such a child. Making that kind of bet, mother would be ashamed!"

"You're the one who shames her!" Artemis refuted, but her brother merely crossed his arms and shook his head.

"You, young lady have a problem."

" _I'm_ the one with the problem?!"

 **The two gods nodded, it the standard reward for Artemis' victory in the Twins' gambles.**

 **"And if Apollo won?" Hermes asked. Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat and mumbled something under his breath. "What was that?"**

 **"She'd have axe mountain debt."**

 **"Speak up, hotshot!" Ares growled. "Or I'll give you one of those stupid Thousand Years of Death!"**

 **"Fine!" Naruto snapped. He crossed his arms and looked away. "She would have to ask me out on a date."**

Artemis eyes went wide and dilated. Then, they narrowed and began to glow with a silver light. She turned and glared at Apollo, who was rubbing his chin in thought.

"You know something? I actually might not have an issue with that," he said.

"Apollo…" Artemis ground her teeth together while the rest of her oafish siblings or uncles were snickering, whereas Aphrodite giggled madly. Even Athena had a small smirk on her face.

The only one unamused by the thought, aside from Artemis, was Zeus.

"Treat him right, Artemis," Hestia said with a small smile.

"Hestia!" Both the King and his huntress of a daughter protested.

 **"...You're shitting me."**

 **"He's not," Hermes said in awe.**

 **"Holy fuck." Ares stared and then grinned. He knew someone who would** _ **kill**_ **to get this information.**

"You're getting a _special_ treat, Ares." Aphrodite purred at her lover. Ares pumped his fist in victory while Hephaestus rolled his eyes.

"Ares…" Artemis glared at the War God.

"What? I'm so going to do it." Ares smirked. "Try and stop me."

 **He stood abruptly and walked to the door. "I'll catch you later. I got things to do."**

 **"Ares! You better not tell Aphrodite!" Naruto shouted after his leaving cousin. He groaned when the god let out a cruel laugh.**

"Ha! Suck it, Girl-Scout."

"Oh, maybe she will for once!"

"Aphrodite, I will disembowel you!"

 **"Oh, that** _ **so**_ **doesn't bode well."**

"He never stood a chance." Hermes noted, almost, _almost_ feeling sorry for him.

 **"Well, look at the bright side," Hermes said. "You'll make an adorable Jackalope."**

Hestia turned to Artemis.

"Aunt Hestia, I wouldn't...well, er... Maybe...I don't know? Stop looking at me like that!"

"Humph." Hestia turned away from her niece with a small disappointed frown on her face.

"And now you'll be without any treats from her." Hades shook his head while the rest of his family paled at the thought, none more so than the Goddess of the Hunt. "A fate I would not bestow on any of my subjects, no matter their crime."

 **"Don't you have packages to deliver?" Naruto asked, snidely.**

 **"Oh, no, little cousin. I have today off." Hermes laughed at the forlorn look on his cousin's face. "Now, what flavor of pellets do you prefer?"**

"Do they make ramen flavor?" Thalia wondered, smirking.

"They will if he's turned into a jackalope." Jason guessed. He looked at her. "Would you keep him as a pet?"

"...I...Hm." Thalia creased her brow and pursed her lips in thought before she looked at her patron. "Lady Artemis? What happens to those Jackalopes?"

"Er...Focus on the story, Thalia Grace. I will answer your question at another time."

 **Apollo ran back over to the table.**

 **"Naruto! Great news! I might have just gotten an invite to an orgy, and they'll let me have a plus one!"**

"You filthy cheater!" Artemis accused her twin.

"Ha! No, wait, double _ha_! I play to _win_ , Arte. So uh, get wrecked."

Aphrodite was in titters, she so hoped that Apollo won this.

It would be a day for the history books.

 **Naruto dropped his face into his hands while Hermes fell out of his seat laughing.**

"Oh, man!" Hermes wiped a tear from his eye. "I missed this. Gossip and gambling on Olympus is better than any mortal drama!"

"I do hope that something comes from it," Hera said. Her husband and niece looked at her, and she raised a brow in question.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Percy Jackson and the Olympians. If I did, I wouldn't be on this site sadly.**

 **Reading Fearless: Knight's Fall, Part 1**

"You have got to be kidding me." Thalia's eye twitched when the book appeared in her lap. The title of the next installment appeared on the screen in front of them. The demigods snickered while the Lieutenant of Artemis raged. "Why do you insist on having me read this!?"

"Because of shipping?" Aphrodite asked. The demigods burst into laughter at the Hunter's annoyed scowl.

"I'd believe it," Apollo said with a nod. He frowned. "Knight's Fall? What does that-Oh...Yes! Lil nephew won't be a monk!"

Artemis frowned.

"Thank the Fates!" Aphrodite sighed.

"Or it could mean he dies." Hades suggested. He glanced over at the goddess of the moon. "Would you prefer that?"

Artemis pursed her lips.

"...Arte? You wouldn't actually-?" Apollo began.

"I'm thinking about it."

"You're _thinking_ about it!?" Apollo and Aphrodite repeated.

"No. Yes. Maybe? I don't know. Shut up." Artemis glared at the two before letting out a soft sigh. "There is no point in postponing this, Thalia Grace, you may read."

"Oh, goodie." Thalia grumbled.

 **Death.**

"Three for three." Hades smirked. "Perhaps they hint at a new employee of mine with this."

"That isn't funny," Artemis said.

"Nor is it funny when you take our children without warning them of what could happen to them."

"...Harsh." Hermes grimaced.

"I do not hold hands." Hades shrugged. "Take that up with Demeter."

"You-!" The goddess of Agriculture's corn in her hair began to pop...again. Leo discreetly refilled his popcorn bowl. Again.

"Quiet, both of you. Thalia is trying to read." Hestia interjected. She smiled at her niece. "Please continue, dear."

 **The final destination. The last hurrah. The end of a story or, to some, the beginning of another. Humans fear death. It is hated for its callousness, for its impartial nature, for its ability to strike at any time or place. It occurs daily, without remorse or regret, because there is a balance to be kept. A balance that is upheld by forces that the mortal mind can't fully comprehend.**

"That's true," Nico said. He crossed his arms and scowled. "I'm the son of the God of the Underworld, Lord of the Dead, and _I_ don't know how it works."

"I'm that _and_ I've been dead and _I_ don't understand how it works," Hazel said, with a small frown.

"Good." Hades nodded curtly. The less they knew, the better. Mortals had this thing against natural order. It's why he and Apollo had debates over Asclepius' deeds and current godly status.

 **Even Demigods, beings born with blood of deities flowing through their veins, fail to understand the reasons for death. To them, it is a needless, heart-breaking sorrow for their already terrifying young lives. Nevertheless, it happens. They cannot control it. All they can do is mourn and move on, survive until the next fight. Or, they can do their namesakes and forefathers proud, and give their lives for the lives of others, becoming heroes in their last breath.**

 **An example of one such sacrifice would be Thalia Grace, Daughter of Zeus.**

"I feel so excited about being singled out like that so soon," Thalia said, her voice as flat as a piece of paper.

 **After being on the run for years, meeting a couple of friends and monsters alike, sanctuary was within her grasp. However, one deity was determined to see that she fall, not out of spite of her, no, but to punish the oath-breaker Zeus. Her uncle, The Lord of the Underworld, Hades sent hordes of his servants after her and her companions. They fought for days, weeks even, against monsters of all sorts that were** _ **hell bent**_ **on delivering her to their master.**

"Bunch of good that did," Hades said with a scowl. He glared at his brother. "For someone who protests our intervention, you sure act out in defense of your bastards a lot."

"Don't even get me started," Hera said with a scowl.

"I have no need to defend myself to _either_ of you. This issue is one not to be discussed now." Zeus snapped. He glared at them both, daring them to defy him.

Hades scoffed and looked away, while Hera just manifested a chalice of wine into her hand. She had been holding it back, but this was the last straw.

 **They failed, but Thalia found no safety. Her sire, who hadn't shown much care for her until this point, kept her from a cruel fate. Zeus struck her with a bolt of lightning and turned her into a pine tree atop what was now known as Half-Blood Hill. Now Thalia forever guards the boundary of the demigod safe-haven, ever vigilant and strong, yet unaware of the world around her.**

 **One night, only days after her 'arrival', a tall youth approached the pine, unnoticed by any of the Olympians. An invisible force, a barrier that kept him just a few feet away from the tree, stopped him. Draped over his shoulders was a cloak, whiter than the snow that began to fall, which parted as he lifted his hand. It revealed that beneath the cloak was a fitted, torn, bloodstained silver shirt, the remains of a marred silver moon in the center of his chest. He pressed his hand against the barrier, and closed his eyes.**

 **"I'm sorry, Thalia." His whisper danced away from him, lost on the cool winds of the ending summer. He could only hope that Annabeth and Luke made it without injury.**

"Such a shame." Ares shook his head.

"I thought we agreed no more of that?" Hermes asked, eyes narrowed.

"Think about who you're talking to, Half-Pint."

Hermes scowled.

 **His separation from them lasted far longer than he wished, but such was the cost when one was in the employ of a deity of time.**

 **"Naruto, we** _ **cannot**_ **linger. We must move on."**

 **Naruto opened his eyes and turned to the speaker, who stood waiting at the base of the hill. A tall, broad shouldered man in a flannel shirt, faded jeans and mountain boots that had his hands folded behind his back. Shoulder-length hair that was as gold as his uncle's fell from his head, and his blue eyes were locked on the night sky above them. He looked back down, peering over his hawkish nose and an apologetic smile spread across his stubbled cheeks, revealing brilliantly white teeth.**

"Helloooooo Handsome." Apollo grinned and Aphrodite whistled in agreement.

"I'm surrounded by idiots…" Artemis groaned and rubbed her brow.

 **"We'll both be in a lot of trouble if we stay too long," he said.**

 **Naruto sighed and cast one more look at his fallen friend's new state before he turned away. He pulled his cloak's hood back over his head and let his hand drop to his side. Once he was back at his teacher's side, the man put a hand on his shoulder.**

 **"Worry not, Naruto. The Norns work in mysterious ways. One day, you may meet your friend again," the man said. He remained quiet and the man sighed. "Khonsu didn't mean for this to happen, you know. He loses track of time quite often, quite ironic if you ask me."**

 **"Forgive me if I don't believe you, Alf," Naruto said flatly. The man, Alf, smiled at him.**

"Who is letting this happen?" Zeus asked. Thunder boomed behind him as his annoyance grew, "We specifically stated no interference! That is not in our agreement-!"

"There's an agreement?! So other Pantheons _do_ exist!" Jason exclaimed. The Demigods began to whisper excitedly to one another. Hades gave his seething brother a deadpanned stare.

"And I thought Poseidon was the Motor-Mouth," he said.

"Yeah, way to go, Ze-What do you mean by _that_ , Hades?" Poseidon asked, glowering at the Lord of the Underworld.

"It means that your son inherited your inability to keep your mouth shut." Athena smirked.

"Yes, well...You say that like it's a bad thing." Poseidon harrumphed.

 **"Fair enough, young one, fair enough. Now, let's be off lest we are discovered."**

 **They vanished in a flare of ethereal light and left behind a small scorch mark in the ground.**

 **Moments later, a bright light rocketed down from the sky and struck down beside rune. The light dimmed to reveal a golden convertible with the top down. A young man with a surfer's body, shorts, tank top and boat shoes hopped over the edge of the car and crouched down to investigate the rune.**

 **"The hell was that stud doing here?" Apollo wondered to himself. He scratched the back of his head and whipped out a cellphone from his pocket. He flipped it open, pressed down on the Omega button that replaced the zero and held it against his head.**

 **"Hey, Pops! Quick question: You get any requests from the One-Eyed Raven to let the Icer Summer stop by Camp Half-Blood?" he asked. The sky boomed with thunder. Apollo glanced up at the sky with a grimace on his face. "Yeah... I didn't think so."**

"Would be pretty dank if you did, though," Apollo grinned. His hand shot up. "Ooh! Question! Can I be our representative to the Norse? I think I should be-"

A flying bolt of lightning scorched the tips of his hair.

"...Quiet. I should be quiet. I should be _really_ quiet."

"Yes. You should." Zeus grit out.

Ares applauded the sight with a wide grin on his face.

 **Filled with wood and wildlife that would make any satyr or nymph feel at home, it could be said that calling Jasper National Park "beautiful" would be an understatement. It was as if Aphrodite had been intrigued by nature for a brief moment and blessed the land.**

"Eh." The goddess of love shrugged. "It has potential. The only thing I like about it thus far is its name."

Piper and Jason flushed brilliantly at what Aphrodite was hinting at.

 **That, or all of the world's deities of Nature came together and decided that this little slice of land would be their masterpiece.**

 **It had been five years since that fateful summer. Five years since he left the urban jungle and returned to his roots with his teacher, the man he called Alf.**

"I wonder if Alf eats cats?" Hermes rubbed his chin.

"Wha-Why would anyone do such a thing?!" Dionysus asked, a bit horrified. His sacred animal was an exotic cat after all.

"...Right, you've been at Camp for like, ever. Well, there's this show-"

"Hermes, bring Dionysus up to date on mortal culture later. We're trying to listen," Hestia said kindly.

"Alright, fine."

 **As one would expect, the Norse God was a great outdoorsman, knowledgeable and wise due to the centuries that lay beyond his appearance. Alf had only taken him on at request of Khonsu, who did not want to have a deceased or ignorant vassal, but over time they'd grown onto the other.**

 **Lately, though, Naruto had been uneasy. As if something was happening back in the United States. The thought of returning to the states had struck the seventeen year old, but he refused to go when offered a free ride. That creature was still hunting him. That demon. His scarred side still flared up if he pondered the demon for too long. As if thoughts of the creature invoked a curse of some sort.**

 **These concerns had been brought up to Khonsu and Alf. Unfortunately, the former wasn't able to do anything for the pain, and the latter had asked his twin, a woman that Alf called Valkie, for help.**

"Valkie? Is she some sort of Valkyrie?" Annabeth wondered.

"Do those exist? And if so, how come we haven't seen any?" Leo asked. "Me especially."

"Leo...You're Greek."

"And? I wanted to see hot girls wearing armor when I died. I could've seen hot girls wearing armor when I died. I didn't get to see hot girls wearing armor when I died. I feel pretty gypped."

"Count yourself lucky you still walk. Or would you like me to fix that?" Hades asked, ignoring the glare Hephaestus sent his way.

"I'm good...It's...It's just the principle of the matter..." Leo sighed. He began to rub his chin. "Maybe I could get my Chica to wear arm-Ow."

"Leo, shut up." Piper hissed. She nodded her head at Artemis and Thalia, both of whom had glares locked on the smith's son.

Needless to say, Leo shut up fast.

 **Valkie's sorcery, though different from the magic that Alf showed Naruto, was unable to stop the affliction. However, she determined that it would stop if the creature that caused the pain was defeated.**

 **Alf took that as the go ahead to kick the lessons up a notch.**

 **Combat became random and near fatal, and occasionally, after brushes with Death's embrace, Naruto saw winged horses and the teenage girls saddled upon them.**

"Th-buh-See! _See_!? He got to see hot girls in armor when he almost died!"

"Leo!"

"It isn't fair! We ride a boat with a guy that likes Italian suits, he gets recruited by hot girls in armor?!" Leo scowled. "I call malarkey!"

Thalia and Artemis were also scowling, but for different reasons altogether.

 **He wondered if it were possible for him to enter the Norse afterlife, despite being raised Greco-Roman and making a deal with an Egyptian.**

"...That is a pretty fair point," Athena said. She rubbed her chin. "I wonder…"

"Athena, you cannot conduct this experiment with Mortals." Zeus grumbled. "To do so, you would need cooperation of the _Norse_ and _Egyptians_."

"Yes, I know, Father. But I may still make some observations from time to time."

"...Can I he-?"

"Annabeth, no." Percy frowned at his girlfriend.

"Percy, I just want to-"

"No."

"It could be the discovery of a-"

"What part of 'no' don't you understand? You say it to me all the time, I thought you'd understand it?"

"Oh, what, so you can go visit your father, but I can't conduct a study with my mother?"

"That's not even the main reason I'm saying no!"

"But it's part of the reason?"

"...Wait, why are you getting mad at me?"

The couple began to argue, and Thalia, bored about two minutes in, continued to read.

 **If it were, he would take the offer in a heartbeat. The Underworld's Blessed Isles were too strict for his admittance. He didn't even know where to fathom his soul would weigh on the Scales of Egypt. Thus, getting recruited for the war to end all wars seemed like the best result.**

 **It was after another brutal training session with Alf that Naruto planted himself at the base of an evergreen tree, healing in Nature's embrace.**

 **The years of training with a Norse god had done him well. He was a solid six-foot now, and still growing. His shoulders had broadened and his face had thinned, though it retained a rounded shape. Alf was sure his jaw would square out by the time he hit twenty. Naruto was mildly annoyed that no matter how many days he went, he failed to grow any hair that could possible conceal his birthmarks. He took to wearing his white mask, the only thing he** _ **hadn't**_ **need to replace during his growth spurts, all the time and removed it only to eat.**

 **His silver clothes had long since been replaced. A long-sleeved black underarmor shirt rested beneath white body armor that protected his chest, shoulders, forearms and back, a crescent moon painted in the center. A pouched belt remained around his waist. He tucked his dark pants into his boots and wore black kneepads over them, and the soles of his boots were white.**

"Ugh, it's not even skin tight! How's any damsel supposed to be wooed when he looks like he just got finished playing paintball?" Aphrodite griped.

"They're not because there are not any damsels for him to save." Artemis said. "He is training to be a hunter. Not a vigilante."

 **According to Alf, he looked like he was getting ready for a game of Paintball, instead of being a vigilante. Which, yes, he continued to do from time to time.**

"How does your foot taste, Artemis?"

"I'd ask you to tell me, but from what I've heard from some less fortunate hunters, there is such a thing as a 'foot' fetish." Artemis smirked as Aphrodite paused. "What's that, Aphrodite? No clever quip to explain this claim?"

"...It...I...Ares came up with that one!"

"The hell I did! I'm into T & A and TNT! You're the one with the fetishes!" Ares argued. He was a warrior. He didn't indulge in weirdly specific fetishes, not even for his girlfriend.

 **Though the crimes weren't as advertised, he'd taken to dealing with would be poachers or con artists. He liked protecting things, it gave him purpose.**

 **Naruto whittled away at a stick with a silver arrowhead to make nothing in particular, the act clearing his mind and soothing his aches. At his side lay a large grey wolf, who had two nasty gashes over its left eye, which was permanently shut and sunken in, while the right was open and a silvery blue eye watched the pups that rushed around and played in the early winter's snow.**

"So cute!" Annabeth gushed.

"So, Percy, think it'll be one dog or two?" Jason asked.

"Shut up, Jason."

 **It was serene for a moment, peaceful even. The wolf was warm and its heart beat like a steady drum. Then, for no reason, the wolf jerked up to its feet. It barked at the pups. The pups gathered to it and it led them away. Naruto paid it no mind. They were free creatures to do as they wished and he was not their master. He tensed and awaited the arrival of one of the two gods that frequently caused such behavior.**

 **"** _ **Boy**_ **." A deep voice echoed in the clearing. Naruto's eyes snapped open, cold icy blues that were narrowed in anticipation. There was only one he knew that had that voice, or at least used it when addressing him. It was deep, baritone, and angry as if he'd wronged the owner by simply existing.**

 **"** _ **I know you hear me, boy!**_ **" the voice growled.**

"I like this thing's style." Ares mused, rubbing his chin.

"The memories…" Frank muttered and shuddered.

 **"I do." He told the voice. His eyes narrowed as he stood and his grip tightened on the arrowhead. "Reveal yourself, Fox."**

 **"** _ **Insolent child!**_ **" The fox's snarl echoed. "** _ **You dare speak to your better that way? I should devour you now, and reclaim from you what your mother stole from me!**_ **"**

 **"Try it." Naruto flipped the arrowhead in his hand, while he lifted the sharpened stick up. Though he was unable to learn Alf's tricks, as they were locked in blood, he picked up a few other things. Such as rune magic, which came (to Alf's alarm) rather surprisingly easy. The runes he'd whittled into his stick began to glow and a pained roar echoed throughout the clearing.**

 **"** _ **What, what is this?! No! NO! I will not be stopped, Boy! Mark my words!**_ **"**

 **"No! Mark** _ **my**_ **words! This ends now!" Naruto grit his teeth as he thrust the Rune-stick forward, the sharp portion of the stick vanishing into the space between realms.**

"...Did he just penetrate the fabric of reality with a phallic symbol?" Artemis asked through gritted teeth.

"Ha! He totally did!" Apollo snickered. "Atta Boy, lil nephew!"

"Don't encourage this!"

"Please, Arte. He needs to learn somehow."

"Experimenting on your own will only get you so far, though," Aphrodite hummed.

"Right, which is why my other will be-!"

"Think twice before finishing that sentence, Apollo," Artemis warned her twin.

Apollo saw the signs, the fletching fingers twitching, the bow-hand's flex. He didn't need to be prophetic to see what would happen next if he continued speaking. Still, he was proud of this Naruto. Not many can say they fucked reality.

 **Blood began to dribble down from his nose and eyes. Unbidden, a language he wasn't familiar with started to rush out of his mouth.**

 **The Fox roared and the air began to shift around them. Trees flattened and the ground began to quake. Slowly, as though a curtain was being drawn back to reveal it, the Fox became tangible and physical. Naruto's eyes widened at the size of it.**

 _ **This thing's pelt would keep**_ **all** _ **of the Hunters warm for decades.**_ **He thought, including the ones who were unfortunate enough to fall in their line of duty.**

 **"How!?" The Fox bellowed. It jerked as glowing chains began to emerge from the ground. Another, smaller chain shot from the rocks and pierced through the Rune-stick, before impaling Naruto through his hand.**

"Does it have to be so graphic?" Piper asked, looking queasy.

"Pfft, this is nothing. Try being scorched alive while being immune to fire." Leo scoffed.

"Try being struck by divine lightning," Jason said. "Or seeing a goddess' divine form."

"You say that like it's a bad way to go."

"Leo, I died."

"For like, a second. Doesn't count."

 **"Gah!" He fell to a knee and dropped his arrowhead. Through squinted eyes he saw the fox begin to shrink. Red energy danced across the chains before it rushed into his body. It was as though a fire ignited beneath his skin.**

 **"No! No! Not another one! Damn you, Uzumaki! No, no, no!" The fox continued to shrink, its long nine tails becoming shorter as it did. It's head shook from one side to the next. "I will not stand for this! I will not be sealed again, boy! Do you hear me!? I will have my revenge! I will devour you, your soul and this world will know my anger!"**

 **"Do...you...** _ **ever**_ **...shut...** _ **up**_ **!?" Naruto bit out through his clenched teeth. His eyes scrunched shut, but one squinted open. He watched in a mix of horror and awe as the Fox's energy began to build beneath his left arm. Patches of skin chipped and flaked away like ashes, the visible red energy began to shape itself like Nordic Runes that then began to wrap around his arm.**

"So glad I'm not Norse," Percy said.

"Actually, Norse rune magic can only be obtained after suffering. Odin ripped out his eye and hung himself for a week from the great tree," Piper said. She fidgeted when everyone looked her way. "It was a project in school. We did Greco-Roman stuff after."

"Are we certain she's not Athena's?" Hephaestus asked. "She just prattled out a bunch of information off the top of her head in an annoying corrective manner."

Both his wife and the goddess in question glared at him.

 **The Fox released a final roar and in a last ditch attempt to escape its fate, it tried to fight back. A black orb began to build up in its mouth, becoming larger and larger in milliseconds. Blue eyes watched, horrified, when the creature closed its mouth around the orb. Its eyes, red and slit like a cat's, glared at him in manic determination. Naruto closed his eyes as another jolt of pain raced through his system.**

 _ **Today seems like a good day to die anyway,**_ **he thought morbidly. He heard a loud sonic boom, likely the launching of the Fox's attack. A bitter smile spread across his face.** _ **Sorry, Mom. I love y-**_

 **His thought was left incomplete as Jasper National Park became enveloped in a sphere of light.**

"Ha! Kid went out like a punk."

"Ares!"

 **A stick cracked beneath her foot as she came to an abrupt halt. The stag she had stalked sprinted off into the wood. The Huntress paid the lost quarry no mind as she looked to the north, eyes wide.**

 **It had been five years since he disappeared. Five years since her oafish twin had failed her. He had lost her** _ **son**_ **. Her precious little boy, the starlight that began to help heal the hearts of her hunters, was lost to the Olympians.**

 **She'd lashed out at Apollo initially, since he'd sworn to her - not on the Styx, but perhaps she should've pushed for that oath -**

"Uh, let's not be so hasty here." Apollo chuckled awkwardly.

"You still lost him!"

"Not my fault he takes after his mother."

"So it's my fault?!" Artemis furiously demanded.

"Duh. He's _your_ kid." Apollo smirked. "Take responsibility for your screw up, Arte."

"You left yours alone on an island while he became a container for a demonic force!"

"So? This story isn't about _my_ poor parenting skills, it's about _your_ poor parenting skills. Deal with it."

 **that Naruto would be kept safe. Then her anger turned inward, as Diana reared her head and questioned why the boy was gone. Not often did she speak with her Roman counterpart, and when she did it was normally cordial, but now they'd fully disagreed on something.**

 **Diana had felt that it was their duty to raise him fully, regardless of their oath.**

"...Wow, Diana sounds awesome," Thalia said.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Artemis asked, still heated from arguing with her twin.

"Nothing! Nothing, I'll, uh, I'll just keep reading now."

 **To give him a place only one other had held, brief though his station was. The Roman Goddess of the Hunt put duty above family, and to her, child rearing was a duty for Maidens as well as mothers. Stupid Roman beliefs. Diana and she argued for weeks, before they noticed the arguing was starting to affect the Hunters. They left, retreating to the one that would help them.**

 **Only to be met with a look of disappointment that was usually given to her twin.**

 **Leto was not happy.**

"Oh, I bet Mom totally railed into you!" Apollo gloated. It was far too rare for Artemis to be in the bad light for their mother. He was going to milk this for all of its worth.

Artemis' cheeks lit with a gold hue in embarrassment and anger.

 **To be quite frank, she was anything but. She yelled -** _ **yelled**_ **\- at them for squabbling over something so childish as** _ **blame**_ **when there was a child out there that was cast out of his home by his own mother, regardless of her Pantheon. Then, she did the same, sending the Huntress away and** _ **ordering**_ **her not to return until she was certain she knew where the boy was.**

 **It wasn't their first fight, as most mothers and daughters clash just as much as fathers and sons do, but it was their worst.**

"I would _kill_ to be a fly on that wall." Apollo said with a wide grin.

"I can make that happen," Ares offered.

"...What do you wan-?"

"No!" Artemis snarled, glaring at her twin. He backed down with a pallid face while Ares crossed his arms in annoyance.

"Stupid hunting bitch…"

 **Artemis had spent the last two years trying to retrace her son's path. From where he split off from Thalia Grace's troupe, she got close, but then his scent, his being, would vanish. Weeks would pass before it popped up again. Every time she thought she would find him, the same strange event occurred.**

 **Her hopes began to fall, and just at the start of this winter, she fully reintegrated with her Hunters. Zoë had done well while she was gone, but she was not Artemis. The Hunters needed her, and she needed them. The lieutenant vowed to help her, as did many others. The search continued, but it wasn't as pushing. Artemis took time to hunt, knowing that a trail would be found even if she wasn't the one who found it.**

 **Then, just now, she** _ **heard**_ **him.**

 **He prayed to her.**

 **Years, it had been since she heard him pray. His voice was deeper, not as deep as bellows, but definitely not the same it had been when he was with her. It was even, calm, accepting, longing, loving and apologetic.**

 **She had frozen when it cut suddenly. The only way that could have happened was if-**

 _ **No.**_

 **Her bow slipped from her grasp and fell into the snow. The truth struck her like it had been shot from her brother's golden bow. She took a shuddering breath and braced herself against the nearest tree.**

 _ **I failed.**_

"And there it ends." Thalia sighed, beginning to close the book.

"What?!" Artemis' eyes widened in shock.

"She's kidding." Apollo laughed. He nodded at the lieutenant, "Man, you're really gunning for a shocked reaction."

Thalia didn't laugh or respond, but it was rare to see such emotion from her matron that she couldn't resist.

"...Thalia, you are in so much-! Keep reading. Now!"

"Yes ma'am." The Hunter opened the book back up, a small smile hidden on her face.

 **First, Naruto was numb. Nothingness, weightlessness, it was indescribable. Relaxing, yet terrifying. Soothing, but strange. Numbness, he swore, was the greatest and the worst feeling at the same time. An oxymoron if ever there was one.**

 **A few - hours? Days? Years? Who knows - moments passed before it started.**

 **Pain.**

 **Oh** _ **gods**_ **, it hurt so much!**

 **Imagine having your skin removed, washed, and beaten dry. Imagine that you're in the middle of a test and you crammed so hard the night before you practically forgot everything but your name.**

"Been there," Percy said with a nod.

 **Imagine that your greatest love; platonic, familial, marital, sexual, any of them splintered away forever, and left you as a husk.**

"Ghastly!" Aphrodite gasped, horrified at the thought.

The demigods cuddled close with their significant others. Nico, Reyna and Leo shivered collectively.

Thalia merely turned the page to continue.

 **Take all three of those, along with the most horrifying event you've ever seen and then multiply it by a thousand.**

 **You are now imagining about one** _ **millionth**_ **of the pain he felt.**

"That's all? I'm not impressed." Zeus scoffed.

"Father!"

"Unless he's had his sinews ripped out, he doesn't know the meaning of the word pain, Artemis."

 **Gods, it had to stop. Someone, anyone, make it stop! Mortal or immortal, timeless or limited, someone help! Egyptian, Norse, Roman, Greek, it didn't matter what pantheon they came from, but if they relieved the pain, he would serve them loyally until he died, and even afterwards if they so wished!**

"...That's pretty dangerous. We could've easily lost more demigods in the War if they ever had the same thought." Poseidon murmured. The other Olympians looked concerned for a moment before faces of neutrality graced their features.

"I wonder if I stepped in here or if I helped later?"

Artemis glowered at her uncle, but Hades ignored it, preferring to ponder over how and when he got this mortal under his thumb.

 **After what felt like an eternity and then some, the pain dulled. That was when he began to wake.**

 **An icy blue eye, almost silver by the pigmentation, cracked open. There was a bright light above him. Not the sun, nor the moon. It was too artificial. Too modern. It was flickering.**

 _ **Fluorescent bulbs suck.**_ **He decided.**

 **He tried to sit up, but fell back to the bed? Cot? Mattress?**

 **Whatever. It hurt too much to think.**

 **He closed his eyes again.**

"And then he died. The End." Ares grinned.

"Nope. Still going," Frank said as he glanced over at Thalia. "This is a long one."

"And it's two parts. ...You're all going to make me read part two, aren't you?" She asked flatly.

"Yes." The room chorused without any remorse.

"I hate my life." Thalia grumbled.

 **The next time Naruto's eyes opened, the pain had ebbed away and there was a shadow above him. Fiddling with something. A tube that was attached to a bag...and his left arm. The same left arm that flaked and burned.**

 **The same arm that was now riddled with interlocking Nordic runes.**

"...Well, that has to go. Brat, fetch me a chainsaw!"

"Ares, be quiet." Hera ordered her son.

"Tch, ruin all my fun."

 **"Oh!" The figure gasped at his wakefulness. "My! You're...wow. You're awake. Just...wow. You're, you're really...wow."**

 **He wanted to deadpan at them about their amazing observation skills. He wanted to ask them what the hell was going on. He wanted to know where he was.**

 **Wheeze.**

 **He wanted water.**

 **Now.**

 **"Oh! Hello, Megan!" The figure brought their hand up and palmed them self in the head. They backed away and grabbed something from a nearby surface. It was thin, but reflected light. It was made of metal and round. They opened it at a latch and moved to wrap it around his ne-**

 **Oh.** _ **Hell**_ **. No.**

 **His arm, his right arm, his** _ **normal**_ **arm, shot up and grabbed their wrist before they could secure the thing around his neck. Both of his eyes were open, focusing was still an issue, but he saw clearly enough to know that the person wasn't used to being stopped.**

 **"Don't fight, it doesn't have to be difficult, I'm just trying to-Okay, now you're hurting me. Ow. Ow! Let go of my wrist, you son of a bitch!"**

"...She's dead." Apollo deadpanned, any sense of humor gone from his face.

"Apollo."

"No, we agreed, Arte. I get to kill the next one, regardless of gender. You already got to kill that dumbass biker who called you it, now I get to kill this stupid Amazon."

"Don't drag my Amazons into this. She doesn't know!" Ares snarled at the twins.

They turned to him and regarded him for a moment before they resumed looking at each other.

"Don't ignore me!"

"It will not be drawn out. It will be quick and painless." Artemis told her twin sternly.

"Hey!"

"Well, yeah. It'll let Hades mess with her. That's torture enough." Apollo shrugged.

"Are you ignoring everything I say!?" Ares snapped.

"It's _one_ Amazon, Ares." Apollo shrugged. "You killed how many of my kids in The Second War again?"

"...Alright, fine. But only this one!"

 **That wasn't very smart. Now they made him mad. He doesn't like it when people diss his Mom. It doesn't matter if you're a Mortal or God; you mess with** _ **her**_ **, and** _ **he**_ **messes with** _ **you**_ **.**

 **Their wrist snapped in his grasp.**

"Oh, that is such bullshit!" Ares growled, "He's pretty much dead on his feet!"

"And he's a mortal. Says a lot about your _Daughter's_ skills, doesn't it?"

"Fuck you, Hermes!"

"Nah, my standards aren't that low."

 **"Fuck!" The person tore away from him, and the** _ **item**_ **dropped to the ground. Naruto started to get up, finding it much easier to do so than before. He swiveled off of the bed and his feet...touched the ground much sooner than he expected.**

 _ **Huh, weird.**_ **He stared down at himself as he stood, noting that his arms and legs alike looked longer, a little paler, too. The tube in his arm was ripped out, as were the patches that were stuck to his chest, which caused the monitor to flat line. His body was more filled out than the lithe form he was in the woods, but it was still lean. He looked around, likening the room to that of a hospital. Strange that he was only in white boxers, though. Then he shook those thoughts away.** _ **Not important. Focus.**_

"Mm, yes. Let us focus on that imagery." Aphrodite hummed.

"Can we not-Oh, come on!" Thalia scowled at the TV when it displayed an image of the boy. She scowled, her cheeks flushed more at the embarrassment of why the image was brought forward rather than at the image itself. It wasn't a bad view...is what she would think if she _wasn't_ a Hunter of Artemis, but she was, so she totally wasn't attracted to him. Nope. Not in the slightest.

"That is...quite the definition," Reyna said after a moment. Her face was glowing red, despite still being stoic. Many of the other demigoddesses (and Nico) looked the same, and their boyfriends (or friends that happened to be a boy in Leo's case) began to grumble to themselves.

 **"Gods, dammit! You broke my wrist, you asshole!" The figure -** _ **female**_ **, early-twenties, maybe younger - glared at him. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a radio. "I need assistance with the Queen's BF! He's awake and he's fucking strong!"**

 _ **B...F?**_ **The letters flew through his head. Trying to place their importance and their consequential meaning. Queen was simple enough, whoever was in charge had claimed him. But for what?**

"B...F… B...F." Percy tapped his chin. He scratched his head and scrunched his face up in thought before he sighed. "Nope. I got nothing."

"You goof." Annabeth rolled her eyes, but still had a smile on her face.

 **The question would go unanswered, as the girl suddenly swept his feet out from under him. Still disoriented from whatever they had been pumping him with, he toppled back and hit the ground as she stood. His head, amazingly, didn't collide with the floor, so he was able to catch the girl's foot when she tried to stomp his lights out.**

 **He pulled and brought her down to his level, before he kipped up to his feet. He wobbled and his head felt light. He steadied himself against the bed.**

 _ **Okay, don't...don't do that again,**_ **Naruto thought through a groan. He turned when the door was thrown open, and three more girls rushed in. Although they lacked the nurse scrubs his 'caretaker' wore. Instead, they had white polos tucked into black slacks. The logo plastered above their breasts made him pale.**

"No estimations? Better work on that," Apollo said to himself.

 _ **Amazon? Oh sh-!**_ **He was on the defensive, blocking arms and legs as a tussle began in the small room. He gripped one by their wrist and twisted her to act as a human shield. He'd apologize to her, but talking isn't his strong suit right now.**

 **"Jesus, what is this guy? A legionnaire?" One girl asked.**

"Well, he was raised by a Goddess, maybe he met Lupa?" Frank wondered.

"Diana and Lupa do not get along." Artemis muttered.

"...Really?"

"Lupa thinks Diana's - and by extension my - oath is, though noble, foolish for maidens to take." Artemis sighed. "It means less powerful forces to serve Rome."

"Huh, learn something new every day."

 **"With those tats? Doubt it."**

 **"How did this happen, Megs!?"**

 **"Hey, don't try to pin this on me! He's the Queen's! She brought him in!"**

 **Throughout this whole ordeal, he was carefully maneuvering himself and his hostage - gods, that just felt** _ **wrong**_ **\- towards the door.**

 **"Hey!" The one in his grasp hissed. She grabbed at his arm that was wrapped across her collar and struggled to free the one he had trapped behind her back. He waited another minute before he shoved her forward, making her topple over her friends and Megan, before he rushed out the door.**

 **Naruto made it down the corridor without issue, it was when he rounded the corner that he was blindsided. A woman had positioned herself carefully, crouched low and rammed her shoulder into his gut just as he turned around the bend. He flipped head under heels, before he hit the ground with a hard smack, stomach and face first.**

 **To put it mildly:** _ **Ow.**_

 **An elbow dropped into his back, and arms wrapped around his legs. Someone grabbed his arms and pulled them back. He jerked and twisted, trying to escape, but a kick to his gut knocked the wind out of him.**

"Yeah, show that punk who's boss, you brats!" Ares cheered.

Artemis gained a small frown.

 **He dry heaved, and his arms were held tight. Megan's voice was heard, of what she grumbled he made out "stupid sexy stud", "lucky bitch", and "shouldn't even be here today." Then, something latched around his neck, and two prongs stabbed into his throat. His insides jolted and once he finished his spasm, he fell to the ground.**

 **"Sweet dreams, asshole."**

 **"Megan!" A new voice barked. "What the hell happened!?"**

 _ **Gods,**_ **he thought as his vision went dark and sounds became muted.** _ **Why do you hate me?**_

"Well, can't speak for everyone else, but for me it's because you broke my Amazon's wrist," Ares said with a dismissive sniff. He raised a brow when they looked at him. "What? He did!"

 **The next time he woke up, he found himself on a cot. Though this time he was fully dressed. In an orange jumpsuit. Strange, sure, but he's worn weirder things.**

 **"Hey, hey! Look! The kitten's up!"**

 _ **Obnoxious, irritating, smug, asinine. Ugh, don't tell me,**_ **Naruto looked over at the group of other teens in jumpsuits like his own. He scowled.** _ **Boys.**_

"...How could you influence him for so long while not being near him!?" Aphrodite groaned. "He is going to be nearly impossible to break!"

"Nearly impossible?" Artemis repeated. She gave her rival a sidelong glare that was met with an amused smirk.

"They all break sooner or later, Artemis. Even you."

Artemis snorted in disbelief. What was the love goddess high on to come up with that ridiculous thought.

"...Piper, she's scaring me." Jason whispered to his girlfriend.

"She's scaring me, too, Jason." Piper whispered back. She looked at her mother. "Mom, please don't insinuate torturing people with love."

"It's not torture if they're rewarded from it, Piper." Aphrodite said, raising a finger as if bestowing some sort of lost knowledge on her daughter.

 **It could be said that he wasn't entirely fond of his sex. There were some exceptions, sure - himself, obviously, and Luke**

"That's a mistake."

"Screw _off_ , Ares." Hermes glowered at the War God.

"Nah, it's way too much fun."

 **and when he was younger there were a few guys at school he hung out with back in Pennsylvania - but most males grated on his nerves. Especially when they were in their adolescent years. Although, there were times when he was annoyed with himself for being an adolescent boy. He'd caught himself staring at a pretty Canadian girl once when he and Alf went into town to restock on some supplies. She seemed to catch him staring, because she offered a shy smile and wave.**

"Oh, she's a cutie. Nice eye, kid," Hermes said with a nod.

Artemis' jaw clenched, and then relaxed.

 **He left without returning the gesture, thinking with burning cheeks that it was humiliating enough to partake in acts that his uncle so enjoyed. He didn't want to be someone his mother hated, that his sisters despised. He knew that, so to learn he stared without conscious decision to, aggravated him.**

 _ **Hormones**_ **, he decided that day,** _ **suck**_ **.**

 **One of the guys walked up to him. His jumpsuit sleeves were torn off to reveal his arms. Bulky, powerful muscle was exposed. There was a number on his jumpsuit, right over his left pectoral. 001322.**

 **"Hey, names Dave," said the one who called him a ...he called him a Kitten? Seriously? Naruto deadpanned. Thalia's 'Whiskers' was more appealing than that.**

"And affectionate." Annabeth wiggled her brow.

"Shut up." Thalia snapped, her freckled cheeks red.

 **Gods he hoped none of them were his cousins. The last thing he needed was for his beloved Uncle Fred to learn about that name.**

 **"Uh, you there? Hello?"**

 **"What." Naruto finally croaked out. He made a face. His voice wasn't that deep before. His eyes widened and then he slapped his hand into his head. "Khonsu, you sonova-!"**

 **"Kent Sue? Dude, I'm sorry, but that name is hilarious-Unf!" Dave bent over when Naruto drove his fist into his gut. The blond grabbed Dave's dark hair with his other hand and tilted it up.**

 **"Demigod?" He asked curtly. Dave coughed and nodded. Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Parent?"**

 **"M-Mars."**

"Why do my brats always get their asses kicked!?" Ares seethed.

"Because they always try to start something," Athena said.

"And because of Nemesis," Hermes said, smirking.

 **Roman? Interesting.**

 **"Why aren't you at Camp?"**

 **"Traded...For supplies...Sandi wanted me to come with her…" Dave whimpered. "Can you please...stop fisting me…?"**

"Haha! Phrasing!" Ares grinned but blinked, "Wait, ah shit…"

"Oh, well. He's the giver then." Aphrodite smiled coyly. "You do raise them to be quite the dominant ones, don't you, Artemis?"

"I refuse to acknowledge that you even asked me such a ridiculous question," Artemis said, a disgusted scowl on her face.

 **Naruto rolled his eyes as nearby guys snickered. Typical crude sexual humor. They didn't take things seriously, and they'd wind up in serious trouble if they ever had the misfortune to encounter the Hunt. He pulled his fist out of the dent it made in Dave's gut and the boy flopped forward to the ground.**

 **"Thank you," he wheezed. He rolled onto his side and winced. "What's your name?"**

 **"Nathan," Naruto said, careful to not reveal anything. He crossed his arms and looked around. He evaluated the other** _ **boys**_ **, their posture scream subservient. Mortals called their type Alpha males. It was insulting, but apt; most were just dogs looking for a rut. Looking back down after briefly evaluating his chances at becoming top dog - stupid hormones - he asked: "Where are we?"**

 **"The barracks." Dave got to his feet. "So, Greek? Roman? Which-?"**

 **"None of your business."**

 **"Yeesh, touchy." Dave held his hands up when Naruto glared. "Easy, Kitten-"**

 **"Call me that again and you'll find yourself missing two very important aspects that make you a male."**

"I've got my work cut out for me with this one," Aphrodite said, frowning.

 **"Geez, lighten up, dude! You sound as bad as some of the ex-Hunters we have around here."**

 **Naruto chose to take that as a compliment. He looked around the barracks. Small, confined, and orderly though it was, he didn't like it. He wanted to be outside.**

 **So he walked away.**

 **"Hey, we're going to get picked up soon. Where are you going?" Dave asked. He was following him.**

 **"Outside." The insult that so badly wanted to follow was held on the tip of his tongue. Really, he was heading for the door. Why would that need to be explained?**

 **"Why?" Dave threw a thumb over his shoulder. "We got a latrine, no need to go out for that, dude."**

"Well, Arte, when you gotta go-"

"Apollo, I will rip off your head." Artemis warned her twin with a glowing glare.

 **Part of him wanted to laugh, but he held it in, and a small crooked smile spread across his face instead.**

 **"I'm leaving." He said. Dave stopped, likely wide eyed, and conversations in the tent-like barracks stopped.**

 **"What? But...it-it's date night!"**

"Yes!" Aphrodite pumped her fist.

"Blech." Artemis and Thalia stuck their tongues out.

"Oh you don't know what you're missing!"

 **That stopped Naruto in his tracks. That small, four-lettered word, was more of a curse to him than Damn, Shit or Hell ever would be. Granted, part of that came from his upbringing, since the Hunters would sneer it more often than not, but some of that could be pinned on Uncle Fred.**

 **The god had tried to score a date with a tourist while showing Naruto around Beijing. Needless to say, they lost each other in the chaotic, crowded streets. Yes, they were reunited, but though Uncle Fred swore that he would try** _ **not**_ **to lose his nephew in search of a date...it happened six more times. Granted, Naruto could've stayed put and waited, but he didn't make any such agreement to be a more dutiful nephew.**

 **In summation, the word "date" was not one he ever wanted to willingly associate himself with. Unwillingly, even more so.**

 **"All the more reason for me to leave," he said. He turned to see the reaction, and nearly burst into laughter then and there. Dave spluttered and faltered for words, and the other men began gaping like a school of fish.**

 **"...What are you, gay?"**

"I can work with that." Aphrodite admitted after some thought. "Not as much fun or as sweet in the whole getting back at the Poop Sniffer-"

"For the last time, it's a tracking technique. One that has been used for _eons_." Artemis grit out.

Aphrodite ignored her. "But, it will still be quite the treat for me. I mean, look at Wico."

"Please tell me that is not a thing," Nico said, a bit paler than before. "If Will ever found out about that, he would spread it through camp like a wildfire."

"Heh, I see what you did there," Percy said with a chuckle. "Because he's the son of the Sun God."

"Yes, Percy, your ability to deduce my insinuations are amazing."

"Yeah, I try."

 **"No." Naruto rolled his eyes - quashing down the typical heterosexual hormones that started to demand he assert himself - and more sputtering began to escape the other teens. It was time to leave. He went to the barracks flap and threw it open.**

 **Where he found Megan and a few more Amazons waiting. Megan remained in her scrubs, but her company looked as what most expected of an Amazon. Shields, armor, and spears. The spears were leveled at his neck and he closed his eyes.**

 **His luck would be that bad, wouldn't it?**

 **"Wow, you're sure on the ball, aren't you?" Megan smirked. She reached up and attached something to his collar. Naruto stared at her, incredulous.**

 **"D-Did you just** _ **leash**_ **me?"**

"Did they just _leash_ him?" Artemis asked, furious.

"Ooh, now there's an idea!"

"Aphrodite, I will tan your hide!"

"Don't give me those empty promises, Artemis. I'm the heart-breaker here, so leave that to me. Okay?"

"I-You-Read! Thalia, just read!" Artemis growled as she slumped down in her throne, her arms crossed and an angered frown on her face.

"Whoa, you put her in 'Epic Pouting Mode'! I thought only I could do that!" Apollo awed. He nodded at the goddess of love. "Nice job."

 **"Yep." Megan chirped as the other Amazons moved their spears away. She pulled on the leather strand and he stumbled forward. He reached for his neck and she pulled on the leash again. "Ah-ah, this is punishment for my wrist. Now, be a good boy and come on. The Queen's waiting."**

 **"Whoa, you lucky dog!" Dave called from within the barracks.**

 **"What did you just say, David?" One of the guards asked.**

 **Dave's nervous answer was lost as Naruto was dragged away.**

"And that guy is on the couch." Leo nodded.

"Oh, yeah." "For sure." "Big time." Jason, Percy and Frank nodded in agreement.

"Is there even a couch to begin with?" Annabeth asked aloud.

"Maybe it means there is no 'date night'," Reyna said thoughtfully.

"...The horror," the four boys from before shuddered.

 **He surveyed the area once they exited the elevator that led to the Amazon Men's quarters and he came to a startling realization.**

 **Now, to be clear, Naruto was used to being around pretty girls. Heck, he was used to being surrounded by them. His mother was Artemis, after all. The Goddess of the Hunt, and her loyal Hunters, maidens of ages that never exceeded the mid teens, and were known for not only their skill, but also their beauty.**

 **He could say with one hundred percent certainty that they had** _ **nothing**_ **on the Amazons.**

"...Jerk…" Thalia frowned.

"There's a point where beauty becomes more prominent in women, Thalia Grace. Sadly, you didn't reach it in time before Artemis got to you."

"Aesthetic attraction is not important, Aphrodite!"

"I pity your delusions, Artemis, I really do."

 **These young women were all warriors, and at the point of their lives where they no longer were simply pretty, but had become** _ **beautiful**_ **. Aphrodite's children were said to make heads turn - Zoë insisted it was done to conceal a gag - and if that were true, he wanted to know how many of her children came here. Anywhere he looked, there was an Amazon, or two, in clothes that fit just right. With bodies and postures that demanded** _ **respectful**_ **attention.**

 **Even Megan, when she wasn't scowling at him or looking at him with that disturbing** _ **hunger**_ **in her eyes, was beautiful. And then she walked ahead of him like a woman on a mission. With a slight swing of her hips that amplified her-**

 **Again, Naruto reiterates: Hormones suck.**

"There is still hope for him! He must be an Ass Man!" Hermes declared.

"Ahem." The Goddess of the Hearth cleared her throat.

"Er, no offense meant to your donkeys, Hestia."

 **"...And you must** _ **never**_ **look at another woman. Jerry did it all the time. Why Darlene kept him, I'll never understand."**

 **Oh, crap. Was she talking to him? He hadn't heard a thing she said.**

"Oh, that'll cost him." Percy winced in sympathy.

"You would know." Annabeth grumbled.

"I get distracted! Sorry for having A.D.H.D.! Blame him," Percy said, pointing at his father.

Poseidon has the decency to look somewhat apologetic.

 **He was examining his surroundings, looking for an escape, and unfortunately getting distracted by his blasted hormones. At least, he hoped that's why he was looking around.**

 _ **Oh, Alf. Please be merciful,**_ **Naruto thought with closed eyes, hoping that somehow he could reach out to the Norse God of Fertility.** _ **If I must suffer these accursed hormones, please grant me one request: Don't let me turn out like Uncle Fred.**_

"Why does he say that like it's a _bad_ thing?" Apollo whined.

"Because it _is_ a bad thing, you idiot." Artemis shook her head.

 **He thought he heard a faint round of mixed laughter, but was pulled from his internal monologue when Megan spoke to him again.**

 **"You're not listening to a thing I'm saying, are you?" she asked.**

 **"I'd rather not answer that question," he said. He arched a brow when she smirked at him. "What?"**

 **"You seem familiar with this. Been a BF before?"**

"Let's see. He was Thalia's in Apoluto," Piper began.

Apollo grinned while Thalia grunted at the reminder, her cheeks slightly flushed.

"Apparently Reyna's where he's my brother and Annabeth's nephew."

Reyna rubbed her temples and Aphrodite giggled. Athena had a small frown on her face while Annabeth nodded in approval.

"I think he and Zoë were going to hook up in Ares' one." Piper hummed.

Artemis' eye twitched violently. Ares grinned while Frank frowned, not entirely sure who Zoë was, and not exactly pleased to be related to that version of Naruto.

"Hades'...well...um…"

Hades took a deep breath, while Nico and Hazel looked like they saw a ghost that actually scared them.

"Anyway, Neptune's son was going to get into a relationship with my Roman sister."

"The evil Annabeth," Leo corrected. He chuckled at the annoyance that crossed the Romans' faces and Annabeth shook her head.

Aphrodite beamed and Poseidon chuckled. Percy pouted, still miffed that his younger brother got kissed before he did. Although, at least he didn't have to deal with evil Annabeth. ...Actually, he wasn't sure if that was fair enough or not.

"Yes, Piper McLean, you've made your point. It's a very long list." Zeus rumbled, his patience wearing thin. "Let's move on."

"He's just mad because his Naruto didn't have a name for his pairing," Piper muttered to her boyfriend.

"Probably," Jason said with a shrug. His dad was kind of petty like that.

 **"I don't know what that means," he deadpanned.**

 **"Uh-huh.** _ **Sure**_ **, you don't." She sounded so disbelieving as she gave him a once over. They continued down the hall until they hit a T-junction, where they hung a left. "Anyway. I know you've only been awake for a day, but the other Amazons are starting to get annoyed. The Queen needs to prove your worth, as her rule is still kind of young."**

 _ **I don't like where this is going.**_ **Naruto decided. He began to think of a way to escape.**

"Smart call." Frank nodded.

"I dunno, I think it's a mistake," Leo said.

"Leo, you'd basically be a slave."

"But think of the benefits!"

"Pass."

 **Before he could begin to act on his concerns, he was pulled into a room that held boxes upon boxes. Two more Amazons grabbed his wrists once the doors closed. One kicked the back of his left knee out and he was forced to kneel. Another grabbed his head and he was pushed forward, prostrating himself to an approaching figure.**

 **"My Queen," Megan said. He saw her kneel out of the corner of his eyes. He tried to look forward, but each time he tried, the Amazon that grabbed his hair pushed his forehead further into the concrete ground.**

 _ **And some call the Hunters rude?**_ **He thought, annoyed. Compared to this, the Hunters' manners were of the highest nobility.**

"We aren't rude." Thalia said, offended. Artemis had a frown on her face as well, since she was the one that raised most of them.

"I beg to differ." Hera smiled wickedly.

 **"Megan. Thank you for bringing him. How is your wrist?" Another young woman said. Naruto heard a hint of an accent when she spoke, and he felt her gaze wash over his form. He tried not to move and simply listened.**

 **"Better. It shouldn't have happened in the first place, I was foolish to try and collar him alone."**

 _ **Foolish to collar me at all would be more accurate.**_ **He thought as a scowl marred his face. He jerked involuntarily when The Queen took hold of his leash. The Amazon holding his head pushed it further into the floor.**

 **"Behave."**

 **"That's enough, Hope." The Queen's voice was firm and the grip on his hair lessened. "You, Mercy and Megan may leave."**

"Hope and Mercy? I call shenanigans on that," Apollo said.

"Why?" Percy asked.

"They're copyright of DC Comics."

"...I...What?"

"...Read a comic book, kid."

 **"But-!" The one that held his left wrist and shoulder began to protest.**

 **"That was not a request, Mercy."**

 **The two hesitated before his arms and head were released. He braced himself on his hands, but didn't move. He waited until they left, until he heard the doors shut behind them, and then he lifted his head to send the Queen a dirty look.**

 **He didn't expect to see a girl his age, if not a few years older, stare down at him with two piercing black eyes. Her glossy black hair was pulled back into a long ponytail and she had an air about her that screamed royalty. Not in an offensive way, either, but rather charming. She wore a sleek black jumpsuit that had both sleeves rolled up and was parted by a belt of golden links. The top was unzipped slightly to reveal a dark tank top beneath it. She was athletic and lean, the hints of her might easy to spot along her exposed skin.**

"Ah yes, Reyna's hottie of an older sister." Leo grinned like a fool. Reyna punched him in the arm, which made him wince. "Ow! What? It's not my fault it's true!"

 **What drew his attention the most was a white line on her forehead.**

"He can see that?" Reyna asked.

"He saw Thalia's injured ankle in the last one," Annabeth said.

"Annie, shut up." Thalia huffed.

 **"Your eyes are beautiful," she said, her voice soft as she spoke. He curled his upper lip in a snarl and nearly growled at her, if he didn't remember where he was and what he was currently doing. She seemed to snap out of her daze and waved her hand. "Stand."**

 **"** _ **Thanks**_ **." He spat, getting to his feet and standing taller than her by a head. She stared at him again, as if just** _ **now**_ **realizing how tall he was. Before she could stop him, he reached up and undid the leash. It clattered to the ground, and she was shaken from her thoughts once more.**

 **"No, wait-!" The Queen moved to stop him when he started to fiddle with the collar, but Naruto pushed her away and twisted out of her reach. His fingers just slipped under the leather belt around his neck when a painful shock racked through his body and he dropped back to his knees.**

 **"I tried to warn you," she said, though her voice sounded off. Likely an effect of being shocked. He twitched and scrunched his eyes shut when she put her hands on his arm. "Look, I know this may seem odd-"**

"Not in some circles, dear."

"Aphrodite!"

"Yes, Hestia, I know...but you act as if these children won't experiment!" Aphrodite complained. She pouted when all she got was a stern glare from the Hearth's Goddess.

The demigods refused to make eye contact with one another.

 **"No, you think!?" Naruto snapped at her and pulled himself away. He would be more controlled, but there was the whole** _ **shock collar**_ **thing that kind of got under his skin.**

 **No pun intended.**

"Heh, I get it!" Leo, Percy, Apollo and Hermes chuckled.

 **"I promise that I don't want to hurt you," The Queen said. He scoffed and pushed himself back to his feet, glaring at her when she tried to near him.**

 **"Yeah, sure, and I'd rather be in Hades at the moment." Not entirely a lie.**

 **"If you'll just listen-!"**

 **"Why should I care what you say?" Naruto asked. He pointed at his neck. "I wake up in this...this glorified slave camp, practically naked, with your little nurse adding who knows what to the I.V. that was in my arm-!"**

 **"We were treating your wounds! The ambrosia and nectar we gave you-!"**

"...Perhaps I was a bit hasty in my assessment…" Zeus muttered, heard as the room went silent.

"Holy crap, they gave a mortal ambrosia _and_ nectar? How did he _not_ die!?" Apollo wondered.

"The demonic healing?" Hera suggested.

"Could be the... _Norse_ Runes." Athena mumbled.

"Or perhaps Khonsu did something to him. Kid's a good investment," Hermes mused.

Artemis would've snapped at him if she weren't contemplating giving the Amazons a visit _and_ a piece of her mind.

 **"You gave me** _ **what**_ **!?" He looked at her in horror and then began to pull off his jumpsuit. She didn't move to stop him. Possibly stunned by his sudden decision to strip. He would be too, if he wasn't worried about any possible injuries that were left by their very** _ **stupid**_ **mistake.**

"It was kind of foolish for them to assume he could use ambrosia or nectar, but I think I'd be more worried about stripping in public so casually." Frank said.

"It's not public. He's got an audience of one." Leo pointed out. He rubbed his chin. "Think she tipped well?"

Reyna punched him in the arm again.

 **Thankfully, he wasn't missing any significant chunks of skin. In fact, the only thing that marred his flesh was the Norse runes that were wrapped around his left arm and shoulder in tight clusters. Relieved by his unsuccessful search, he pulled the jumpsuit back on, and it was only when he zipped it up did he remember he had an audience. Icy blue eyes slowly turned to face the Queen of the Amazons.**

 **Her eyes were glazed over and there was a flush in her face. Her lips were parted, and soft pants left her mouth. It seemed almost like she was in-Oh.**

 **Oh!**

 **Ohh...**

 **Naruto turned slowly and held his hands out at his sides, figuring that it would be best to treat this like getting away from a hungry wolf.**

"Smart. Most girls are vicious beasts."

"Does that include yourself?" Artemis asked Aphrodite.

"Without question."

Ares wolf-whistled and Hephaestus groaned.

 **Which he'd had to do once. Alf was a strict teacher and had a twisted lesson plan. It took days for the smell of processed meat to wash off.**

 **The glaze in her eyes seemed to lessen, but there was still a gleam there. He took a cautious side step, and then another. Her dark brows furrowed together and, though more coherency started to overcome her, she matched his stance and joined the circling.**

 **"If you let me go, no one gets hurt," he said. The Queen shivered and he blanched. Not exactly the reaction he wanted.**

 **"I would love to let you go."** _ **Liar**_ **, he thought, eyes narrowed as she continued. "But I need a...a consort to affirm my rule.**

"Since when!?" Artemis snapped. She had never heard of this requirement before.

"Since the Dark Ages," Aphrodite said nonchalantly as she filed her nails. "It was a suggestion I made when the Black Plague started to make its way around the world."

"It's a good investment, too." Ares nodded. "Got me a few decent legacies out of it."

 **At least one. You're the first that caught my eye, after you washed up in the pier-"**

 **"I washed up in the pier?" He didn't remember being near any water. His eyes widened a margin as he connected the dots.** _ **Khonsu, I swear on the Styx that when I find you, I am going to-Shit!**_

"Careful with those oaths, kid. You might accidentally give yourself diarrhea," Apollo said.

"...that can happen?" Hazel asked.

"Hm? Oh yeah. Lost a few kids of mine to that back before mortal medicine got where it is today."

 **He was forced to jump back when she lobbed one of the smaller boxes at him. Something crashed and he turned to see the box she threw begin to melt. He looked back just in time to catch another box thrown at him. The Queen suddenly barreled into his stomach and the box he caught was launched into the air. She grabbed the collar of his jumpsuit and pulled his head up to crack against her own.**

 _ **Oh, gods, ow!**_ **He blinked away the colorful spots and grabbed her wrists before she could dish out another blow. She tugged her arms away in a futile attempt to break his grasp, but he was not going to let her go that easily. He threw his head forward and smashed it against hers.**

"Headache City here he comes," Jason said.

 _ **Arguably, that was the dumbest idea I've ever had. Though, to be fair, taking driving lessons from Uncle Fred when I was ten might be a close second.**_ **Naruto thought, wincing as The Queen fell away and began to nurse her bruised skull. He scrambled away from her and got back to his feet, settling in a stance that had his hands open and ready. She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled back before she got into an aggressive fighting stance. One that he could tell she was comfortable with.**

 **Joy.**

 **"I have to affirm my rule, I need the Amazons to get my revenge on** _ **him**_ **." The Queen growled out the pronoun so venomously that Naruto pitied whoever '** _ **him**_ **' was. She narrowed her eyes and her knuckles bled white. "You're the first one I've taken an interest in."**

"So was that flirting or foreplay?" Piper couldn't help but ask.

"Neither?" Jason couldn't fully believe his girlfriend had just asked that.

"Oh, it was both." Aphrodite answered.

Meanwhile, Reyna shook her head and sent a quick glance to the son of Poseidon. How he managed to escape her sister's wrath, she didn't know, but for a long time that's all that Hylla cared about.

 **"Flattery will get you nowhere." Naruto deadpanned. He caught a punch in one hand and then an elbow in the other. His knee shot up to block the leg that aimed to hit him in his soft spot. He scowled. "You fished me out of a river I don't remember swimming in, nearly killed me with ambrosia and nectar, and then collared me like I was some stray dog."**

 **"To be fair, I've never really been a fan of the collars, but the Amazons were wronged before for trusting Demigods. And so was I," The Queen said as she pulled herself away and then rushed him again. She swung a leg up that he ducked under, and then caught on the follow up attempt kick.**

 **"I'm not a Demigod." He pulled her leg in and then gave her a rough shoulder-check that knocked her to the ground. She quickly spun around on her hands in an attempt to sweep his feet out from under him. He leapt away from her legs and glanced at the door. He was closer to it and on his feet. The Queen, still prone, followed his gaze and then looked back at him with a glower.**

 **"Don't even try it," she warned. He narrowed his eyes and the corner of his mouth pulled up into a small smirk.**

 **"Okay. I won't** _ **try**_ **."**

"Do or do not, there is no try." Apollo quoted.

"Master Yoda for the win." Hermes and the demigods (save Hazel) nodded.

"Who?" Hazel asked.

"...Frank…"

"It's on the list, Percy! We've been a little preoccupied!"

 **Naruto sprinted for the door, throwing all of his weight into it so that it was knocked off of its hinges. He absently wondered just how weak the lock was, but focused on racing through the hall. He juked to the right around a startled guard and ran along the wall for a brief distance before he jumped to the other side.**

 **"Don't let him escape!"**

 _ **What happened to not hurting me?**_ **Naruto wondered.**

"Love taps." Aphrodite offered.

"If that's how she treats her significant other I'd hate to see how she treats an enemy," Demeter said.

 **He shook that thought out of his mind when he heard the familiar twang of a bowstring being released. He pushed off of the wall and performed a baseball slide between the archers that took position in the middle of the hall, before pushing himself back to his feet and continuing his sprint. He ran past the T-junction that Megan had brought him through and continued on, ducking, jumping and juking out of the way of the Amazons and their weapons.**

 **Naruto came across a corner and turned, skidding to a stop when he was met with an archer that had her bow drawn. He grimaced and crouched, ready to move, when the archer blinked. Her bowstring slackened and she lowered the arrow.**

 **"Naruto?"**

 **He blinked, focused and searched his memories. Short, dark haired, blue-eyed, and a bow with a notch on the left side - he recognized this Amazon. She snuck him a few extra snacks when his Mother wasn't looking sometimes.**

 **"Donna?"**

"Donna seems to be doing well." Artemis mumbled. Her hunter from some time ago looked healthy and aged.

 **They both pointed at each other, incredulous.**

 **"What are** _ **you**_ **doing here?! How long have you been here?! Why haven't you told Lady Artemis you're alive / Why did you leave Mom?!"**

 **"Donna, stop him!" The Queen's order made them both turn to see her and several other Amazons race down the hallway. Donna looked back at Naruto with a scowl.**

 **"So, Apollo corrupted you, then? You turned into another one of** _ **those**_ **boys, hmm?" She asked, disgusted.**

 **"What?! No! Donna, I-Oof!" His eyes screwed shut as her bow was slammed into his gut. He doubled over and dropped when she twisted away. Her bow swung down and pulled his feet out from under him, causing him to fall to his back. His head bounced off of the floor. He cracked one eye open and coughed. "Donna..."**

 **"Don't speak to me,** _ **Boy**_ **. Queen Hylla will decide your punishment." Donna huffed. Then, before he could protest further, her boot lifted and dropped down onto his face.**

 **Darkness.**

"I actually expected that." Hera snorted. "What a lovely greeting for a former acquaintance."

"Considering how they usually greet me, I think he got the nicer welcome," Apollo said with a frown.

 **It'd been six weeks now since he woke to find himself in the Amazons' care. Six weeks of forced labor, degrading jabs, and being surrounded by testosterone filled morons whose interests were limited to who got laid the night before and drinking on weekends.**

 **Oh, the fun.**

 **Looking back, Naruto's first day with the Amazons sucked, but it was still better than an average day in the Workplace. He got shocked, more than once, and got knocked out twice. Not to mention his little performance for the Queen, and she didn't let him live that down. More than once she asked for a repeat performance, and more often than not, she wasn't joking.**

 **He refused either way.**

"Boo!" Aphrodite jeered. "All work and no play makes Naruto a dull boy!"

"Better than being a _dumb_ boy." Artemis quipped.

 **The rest of the week consisted of more mundane tasks, which compared to the adrenaline rush that the first day held, made it all the more horrible. Being ogled like he was a glorified slab of meat was one thing, but treating him like a pet and forcing him to do labor? Not to mention that he would have much rather been shocked eight times** _ **daily**_ **than suffer the idiocy that came from Dave and his fellow BFs.**

 **He'd tried carving runes into his collar, or into anything, but they always seemed to remain inactive. No repeat of what occurred when he semi-accidentally defeated the Fox that hunted him. Each failure increased his frustration, and his desire to be free, to be back in the woods, started to make him frantic.**

 **Hylla was no colder or crueler to him than she was on the first day, but she was more careful. He was still her "consort", although nothing that usually fell under that title had happened. At least, not while** _ **he**_ **was conscious anyway.**

"...If she so much as even _tried_ , I will hunt her." Artemis whispered with a hiss. She did not condone rape in any way, shape or form. Regardless of gender, she would punish those that performed the heinous act. Only her fellow gods survived and that was due to their immortality.

Reyna felt a trickle of sweat roll down her neck. She might have to try and send Hylla a letter.

 **A shiver racked his body. He tried to avoid even contemplating that possibility.**

 **When Hylla had brought him back to her office at the next 'date-night', her guards not dismissed, but neither did they assault him for no reason. She explained the situation to him and answered whatever questions he had. She told him about her time as one of Circe's attendants, the Demigod that ruined her and her sister's life**

"...Wha-I was turned into a guinea pig! How is that _my_ fault!?" Percy gaped.

"Yeah, but you were a cute guinea pig."

"I...Thanks, Wise Girl."

 **\- which had made him almost gape at the discovery of Poseidon bearing a son - her skirmish with Blackbeard and his men, and about the trip she made to the Amazon's Warehouse, before she parted ways with her sister.**

 **The current Queen was cordial, at the least. And fair. More than once, he would be dragged along whenever one of their date nights was interrupted by an issue that required Hylla's attention. It was on the fifth night, after resolving an altercation between two Amazons over the right to bed a certain Warehouse Worker, that she asked him how he came to be familiar with the Olympians' world. Hearing that he was a clear sighted mortal surprised her, but it didn't dissuade her from pursuing him as her consort.**

 **It was at the start of their sixth date night a week later, six weeks after his sudden appearance at the Amazon's doorstep, that Naruto felt some semblance of hope again. Hylla and he had just sat down at a small, quaint table that was set to a standard he'd only seen in those ridiculous romantic comedies that Uncle Fred had showed him during a movie marathon,**

"Ah, I laid out the groundwork," Apollo said. "Now it's up to Aphrodite and Eros to deliver."

"Thalia, remind me to have a word with Eros," Artemis muttered. At least she could still intimidate _him_.

 **when an Amazon guard that had been stationed outside burst into the room.**

 **"Gertrude, this had better be important," Hylla said, leveling a stern glare on the kneeling guard. She flashed Naruto an apologetic look. He gave her a disinterested stare and then returned his attention to the spork he was granted. The last time they gave him real utensils, he tried to MacGyver his way out of his collar when Hylla stepped out to "powder her nose."**

 _ **Dumbest. Phrase. Ever.**_ **Naruto thought, stabbing at the meal with disinterest. Salad was good an all, but three leafs of lettuce was not a meal. Any Satyr or Faun would call that a light pre-snack snack.**

"Another vegetarian?" Piper asked.

"Considering who he grew up with, don't get your hopes up," Thalia said. She gave a toothy grin to the girl. "Rabbit stew. Yum."

"You're a monster."

"I try."

 **"Apologies, Queen Hylla," the guard said. She lifted her head and glanced at the sole male in the room for a second, before returning her gaze to the Amazon Queen. "However, we...we have a small situation at the, uh, administration entrance."**

 **"Is someone complaining about the delivery rates?" Hylla arched a brow. "I thought we resigned the agreement with both Mercury and Hermes?"**

 **"We did, but that's not the issue." The guard nibbled on her lip. The next words caused Naruto to perk up. "The Huntress is here and, um, she demands an audience-"**

 **"You're kidding. I thought for certain that they wouldn't venture here considering our schedule. She knows that Friday and Saturday evenings are our days of-"**

 **"With her** _ **son**_ **."**

"Damn right I do." Artemis seethed.

 **Hylla blinked. Naruto feigned disinterest, but he began to thank every deity he'd ever heard of. Even ones that no longer had a presence in this world or never had one to begin with.**

 _ **Selene. Helios. Cthulhu. Primus.**_

"We acknowledge only three of those." Apollo piped up, a few of the younger gods nodded in agreement with him while the older ones rolled their eyes or scowled.

"Wait...which one is the third?" Leo asked, all of the other demigods joining in as they looked at the grinning god.

"That would be telling."

 _ **Please let this be who I think it is. Please, Olympus, let your dwellers be kind!**_

 **"...Her...Her** _ **son**_ **?" Hylla asked, her eyes wide as the empty dinner plates that were set in front of them. The guards stationed inside the room let out two small gasps.**

 **The guard nodded.**

 **"...I'm sorry Nathan, but it would seem that I have some urgent business to attend to," Hylla said, standing and setting her napkin on her plate. She stopped at his side before she passed and put a hand on his arm. "Hopefully this will be over quickly, but if it involves who I think it does, it may be best to cancel the rest of-"**

 _ **Wait, what? Cancel? No, no, no,**_ **Naruto thought. He could not miss this window. He** _ **had**_ **to get out of here! Before Stockholm set in or Hylla's patience ran out. He didn't know which would be worse. How could he-wait. An idea struck, one so stupid it just might actually work. But, it never hurt to get some godly backup.**

 _ **Uncle Fr-Apollo, if this works I will be your wingman for**_ _ **one**_ _ **night.**_

"He said it not me!" Apollo pointed at the screen and then looked around at the Council (and Hades and Hestia). "You _all_ heard it!"

"Never." Artemis glared at her twin, two glowing eyes in place of the normal frigid silver.

"You _owe_ me this, Arte."

"You lost him in the first place!"

"Semantics!"

 **A warmth suddenly overcame the room, and Naruto went for broke with the one move he could think of.**

 **"What's the big deal? Why I can't meet this friend of yours?" He asked. A resounding snort went through the room, coming from each of the three guards. He would to if he wasn't trying not to blow this.**

 **Hylla smiled at him, apologetic.**

 **"Normally, I would love to bring you-"**

 _ **To show me off like some sort of award**_ **, Naruto thought, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his thoughts private.**

 **"But this particular friend is not comfortable in the presence of men. She is rather hostile towards them," Hylla said. She began to pull her hand away, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist.**

 **"I can protect myself," he insisted. "And I'll be quiet. I won't do anything to make myself too noticeable."**

 **"** _ **A Lyre, a lyre, from a liar. Whose pants then lit afire!"**_ **His uncle's favorite rhyme echoed in the back of his head.**

"It's true." Apollo nodded, "They are on fire."

"I keep telling you there is nothing wrong with lying, you boy-scout." Hermes scoffed.

"Troop Omega!"

 **It was based on his uncle's first interaction with Hermes, and had been told to him at a very young age. Maybe he should think twice before asking his uncle for help.**

 **"Mayhaps next time, Nathan," she said. He tightened his grip and pulled her down.**

 **"I don't... want to end the date this soon," he said, fighting back the gag that he felt. "I'm, starting to...enjoy your... presence. Hylla."**

 **Hylla gaped at him and then smiled. He actually felt some heat go to his cheeks. It wasn't a megawatt grin, but a small, beautiful smile that drew his gaze to her lips and how close they were.**

 **He wondered if they were as soft as marsh-** _ **Don't get distracted! Not now, not when I'm so close!**_

 **"I don't think you realize how happy I am to hear that," she said, her voice soft. She got closer, her breath puffed against his face and-oh. Huh.**

 **Marshmallows? Not even clouds were as soft as Hylla's lips.**

 _ **This...this isn't so bad. Not as gross as I'd thought it be. A bit strange, but I can kind of understand where Uncle Fred is coming from.**_ **Naruto's thoughts jolted him from his daze.** _ **Uncle Fred. Uncle Fred! Focus! You're acting like Uncle Fred!**_

"No! Save yourself, boy! Save yourself!" Artemis cried out.

"Let the corruption begin." Aphrodite tittered as she rubbed her hands together.

"...Piper-" Jason began.

"I can't stop it," Piper sighed. She'd accepted that her mother would never change.

 **He pulled away before Hylla could wrap her arms around his neck. His hands leapt off of her hips - when did he put them there!? - and he rubbed at his face, doing a good job of acting not quite unpleasantly surprised. It helped that he really was surprised by the pleasantness of the act, but that wasn't important. Now, anyway.**

 **"Wow," Hylla's whisper snapped him from his thoughts. The smile was back in place. "That was actually way better than I thought it would be. I expected a bite, at least."**

 **"I...uh...y-your friend...can…?" Naruto fumbled, still a bit off-kilter from the kiss.**

"Yes, just a bit more and then I've got him…"

"I will not let that happen," Artemis snarled at the giggling love goddess.

 **"Well, I guess there won't be too much harm in it," Hylla said. Her gaze was smoldering, drawing heat to his face from the intensity of it. Naruto was pretty sure he was glowing. Her hand cupped his cheek, and a finger traced the top whisker that marred it. "After all, we can continue that and dinner much sooner if you stay close."**

 **He sort of hated the part of him that actually sounded delighted by the idea.**

 **Hylla stood, her hand parting from where it was comfortable on his face, and turned to her guards. She requested his guide - the leash did a great job of cooking whatever fire the Queen had set within him - and wrapped it loosely around her wrist. Then she took his hand in her own and guided him out to the hall. The guards followed, each as tense as the last.**

 **"Stay in pace with me," she said, whispering into his ear. "Once we enter the room, it will be hard, but you mustn't stare. It would be best if you averted your gaze, watched the floor. Count how many tiles there are on the floor. Stare at someone's feet, I don't care. Just don't stare at** _ **her**_ **."**

"That would be awkward," Leo said.

 **"O-kay?" He tried to sound as confused as possible.**

 **"I mean it, Nathan. Do not stare at** _ **her**_ **, or any of the girls she brings with her," Hylla said. She stopped outside the doors and put a hand on the latch. It opened only a sliver, before she stopped and pulled back to face him. She took his face in her hands and pulled him down for another kiss. A harder, deeper kiss that he had to slightly pull away from, lest she bruise his lips.**

 **Then the doors were pulled open, exposing them to the occupants of the room.**

 **"Presenting Queen of the Ama-a-oh. Er, uh... Presenting the Queen of the Amazons! Hylla Ramirez-Arellano," the Amazon guard announced her. Naruto's eyes were wide as Hylla ended the kiss and then faced the room with a smile. To his embarrassment, the guard continued, "And accompanying her is her Consort, Nathan."**

 **"Lady Artemis," Hylla said, entering the room with a small bow and forcing Naruto to do the same. He was glad she did, the image of not only his adoptive mother being slack-jawed and wide-eyed, but also the images of Lieutenant Zoë Nightshade and the healer Phoebe in the same state kind of put him in his own state of embarrassed shock.**

"I want to save this image. Forever." Thalia whispered.

Behind her, Artemis was in her own little state of shock.

...That she snapped out of thanks to her twin's raunchy wolf whistle.

"Way to go, Naruto! Uncle Fred is so proud of you!"

 **"...C-C-C-Consort?" Phoebe, the first able to find her voice, repeated.**

 **"Yes," Hylla said, nodding as she righted herself and Naruto. "I know that you normally do not welcome our men in our meetings, but I found it very hard to say no to him accompanying me. I would be very grateful if you did not change him into a jackelope."**

 **"After what we just saw, perhaps such a transformation is in order," Zoë said, being the second to find her mind. Her comment made Naruto break out of his stupor, and the following glare caused him to cringe.**

 **"Again, I apologize for that." Hylla sent a sideways glare at the girl that revealed them to the Hunters and their Patron. The Amazon guard had the decency to look sheepish. Shaking her head, Hylla looked back at the Goddess. "According to my Amazon, you wished to have an audience with your son, Lady Artemis? Pardon me for my disbelief, but that can't be true because of your oath, correct?"**

 **"Oh, it's true." Zoë grumbled. She folded her arms across her chest, her eyes locked with Naruto's. "Isn't it,** _ **Nathan**_ **?"**

 **"That's not fair." Naruto muttered. He felt like a young child again, caught with his mouth full with extra sweets given to him by some of his nicer sisters. He crossed his arms. "** _ **She**_ **kissed** _ **me**_ **."**

 **"Thou didn't seem to protest it."**

"Good boy." Aphrodite beamed.

 **"What am I going to do, throw her through the door?"**

"Yes!" Artemis and Ares snapped.

Everyone looked at the War God.

Ares shrugged.

"It'd be funny."

 **"That would've been preferred." Zoë reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Mine eyes cannot be fooled, though I wish they were. It is as Donna said, thou hath been poisoned by Apollo."**

 **"I was** _ **not**_ **poisoned by Uncle Fred!" he protested.**

 **"Mm-hm. Clearly, the bruising on thy lips is caused by the magic she used to entrance you," Zoë said.**

"Hylla's quite the dom…" Aphrodite hummed.

"Mom, please…" Piper pleaded while Reyna turned red.

 **"Sister-!"**

 **"Sister!?" Hylla and the other Amazons repeated, dubious and shocked. The Queen stared at him before her eyes narrowed and the leash that wrapped around her wrist fell to her hand. In a flash, she wound the leash tight and pulled him down so that their faces were separated by inches, though this time the air between them was a bit more hostile.**

 **"You lied to me," she said. He glowered at her.**

 **"Oh, did I?"**

 **"You told me you were a clear sighted mortal!"**

 **"I am."**

 **"Liar!" She pulled on the leash and he choked. He dropped to one knee and tugged at the collar. Hylla looked ready to say something more, when the leash snapped.**

 **Before she could wrap her head around the random occurrence, Hylla was launched down the hall and the other Amazons in the room were pinned to the walls by silver arrows.**

"This is cathartic." Artemis grinned and Ares groaned.

"Come on, I don't bother your girl scouts this much!"

 **The collar around his neck was erased from existence and a hand wrapped around his. He was hauled to his feet, and found himself looking down at the child form of his adoptive mother for all of three seconds before she shifted to her mature form.**

 **Which stood at an impressive seven feet.**

 **The sight made him deadpan.**

 **"Wow, really?" Naruto asked her.**

"I am angry. Let me show off." Artemis mumbled, pouting at him for ruining the moment.

 **"No talking. You're grounded," Artemis said.**

"Wow, unfair." Percy commented.

"He ran away. And Apollo is at fault as well." The Huntress scoffed.

"What?! Come on, he's _your_ kid! ...Technically, anyway."

 **She rounded on the balls of her feet and headed for the doors. "Zoë, Phoebe, return to camp. Come along, Naruto."**

 **"You're grounding me? Are you serious?" He asked, an incredulous look on his face as he followed her out. She stopped and leveled him with a stern look that made him feel like he was five years old again.**

"Ugh, the Mom glare." Thalia shuddered. She had to live with that almost every day. And that was _before_ she ran away.

 **"First," she said, ticking off a finger. "You ran away from Apollo, who wasn't my first choice but he was your designated guardian. Then, you ran away from** _ **me**_ **. You have** _ **Egyptian**_ **and** _ **Norse**_ **magic lingering on your person, not to mention that tattoo - and on that note, you have a** _ **tattoo**_ **! You have been missing for** _ **eight**_ **years! And finally, when I do discover where you are, you are a** _ **consort**_ **for the current Amazon Queen! Yes, Naruto, you are most certainly grounded! For no less than a year! Do you understand me!?"**

 **Needless to say, Naruto felt sufficiently chided. He ducked his head down in shame.**

 **"Yeah..."**

 **"I said, '** _ **do you understand me**_ **'?" Artemis repeated, her hands on her hips as she stared down at him.**

 **"Yes, Momma." He murmured.**

"Whoever ends up with him won't have to train him at least." The goddess of love shrugged.

"Like I'd let some woman near him at this point." Her rival rebuffed her.

"...Never say never~! Personally, I hope he saves Thalia from your clutches again."

"Perhaps he will help me save your daughter from yours." Artemis grumbled.

 **"Good," she said. She turned away again and he followed her out of the warehouse.**

 **He could only wonder what she would have him do for the duration of his punishment.**

 **They walked for some time in silence until they came to a silver BMW 3 Series.**

"Now that's classy, Sis."

 **Artemis waved her hand and the fine sedan shifted into the chariot that she preferred.**

"Seriously? What a waste." Apollo pouted.

"I happen to like my chariot as it is." Artemis sniffed. "Unlike some who can't keep their attention on one thing for more than three seconds."

"Wha-Yes I can! I can stay focused for _seven_ seconds!"

 **She stepped into it and Naruto followed, taking hold of the side to keep himself upright while she took the reins. Her deer took off at a wordless order, galloping across the sky within seconds.**

 _ **Maybe I should've stayed with the Amazons**_ **, he thought. He chanced a glance a cringed under the glare that was leveled on him from the corner of the goddess' eye.** _ **Definitely should've stayed with the Amazons. Or at least gotten turned into a Jackelope. This is going to be a long year.**_

"Where we will no doubt meet and we go on a zany adventure together." Percy added as Thalia finished.

"And Thalia will faww in wove wif him. Again," Piper teased.

"...Jason, move. I'm going to kill your girlfriend." Thalia said, deadly calm. She even went so far as to put the book down and pull out her hunting knives.

"Uh, no. I like her the way she is. Living." Jason retorted as he tightened his arm around his girlfriend.

"Don't care. Move!"

So began a tussle between the two siblings. And only Ares cheered them on.


End file.
